Bound to Work | Comedy Drama | Full Movie | Ireland

(upbeat music) (upbeat music continues) (upbeat music continues) (upbeat music continues) (door opening) - So? (radio announcer speaking) (Rob laughing) - 30 hours community service each. - Jammy bastards. Who did you have? - O'Neill. - 30 hours community service each. Matt must have played a blinder. - Yeah, he did, to be fair, - He asked after you, actually. - [Fred] Did he? - Yeah. - Geez, I say I haven't seen him since that time we did the chocolate factory. - That's going back a while. Anyw

ay, let's get outta here. - Yeah, but I must make a stop along the way first, so as lucky as you two fine fellows are dressed, you may as well come along. (soft rock music) (soft rock music continues) (water splashing) - Oh, right. Sorry. - Have you found God or something? - Hang on a minute. Not even I would stoop this low. You don't want us to rob a church, do you? - No, we're not going to rob a church, and nor have I found God, either. If you must know, a neighbor of the grandmother has died

and they asked me would I go and represent the family, all right? (Paul sighing) - So now I've gotta enjoy the mass, have I? - You are welcome to walk home if you want, all right? - No, it's fine, I'll take the lift. - Come on. (organ music) (organ music continues) (organ music continues) (organ music continues) - I dare you to go up and have a look in the coffin. - [Rob] How much? - It's a dare. I'm not paying you for the dare. - Would you two be quiet? Show some respect. - [Rob] Sorry. - Yeah,

sorry. - What did she die of? - I dunno. She was old. Like, she was like 90 or something. - Virile age. - I don't know much. Parents were away and said that she hadn't been well for a while, so they asked would I go and represent the family. - Was she loaded? - I don't know. - Should you go up and offer your condolences or something? - I'm looking for George, but George is the only fellow I know, and I signed the book anyway, so they know I was there. - We gather here today to celebrate the lif

e of Grace O'Leary who's returned home now to her home with God, our Father. - That's weird. - [Rob] What? - [Priest] Oh, God, You are the source of life. - Could've sworn our name was Connolly. - Guide us now through the sudden and unexpected loss. Through Your Son, Jesus Christ. - Sudden and unexpected loss? I thought you said she was 90? - Oh no. - What? (comical guitar music) - [Priest] Your Son, Jesus Christ. - We're at the wrong funeral. (comical guitar music intensifies) (Paul laughing) (

Paul laughing) (Paul laughing) (Paul laughing) (Paul laughing) (Paul laughing) Poor fellow. He's very, very upset. - God love him. - Yeah. (hand knocking) (hand knocking) (door opening) - Well, should I even ask for it? - End of the week, we'll have it for you. - No. No. Rob, serious, you're three months now. I'm being fair to you. It's not working. Look, I'll be here Friday. If you don't have it here Friday, you better look for somewhere else to live, yeah? - Can you give us 'til Monday? - Did

I stutter? No, Monday, I just said Friday. I can't, Robbie. Bills, man. Two o'clock, Monday, here. And if you don't have it, you'll get an eviction order, yeah? - Yeah, no worries. - Okay? No worries. Monday. (soft music) (door shutting) - Who's that, boy? - Tom. He's giving us 'til Monday to pay the back rent. - How much do you owe? - Between bills and the back rent, about five grand. - Any idea how you're gonna get out of it? - Win the lotto. - I've got an idea. (upbeat music) - This one's bou

nd to work. Look, I know some of them haven't been the best, but leave it with me. (hand patting) - Where is he after? - The last few weeks there, he is coming up with all these plans and schemes to try and make some money. - What has he tried? - Do you have an hour? - I'm just gonna meet Sarah. - Actually, I better go after him, make sure he doesn't get into trouble. (Fred chuckling) (footsteps tapping) - Step right up, ladies and gentlemen. Win yourself some money. Find the queen, the red quee

n. Find the lady. Come on now, it's very easy. Sir, how about you? Show me your money and I'll preview that it's not. Come on, just a 20. - I'll do it once. - Oh, come on, everybody. Round of applause. (hands clapping) On the table under the magic Euro. Okay. - [ROb] Where's your 20? Oh, yeah. Oh, have you played this before, Sir? - [Rob] Never. - Oh, we'll see. Right, lovely. He's absolutely right. That is the deal. Here we go. Here we go. No talking and giggling. This is a science. There we go

. Okay, are we ready? (hands clapping) Happy with that, ladies and gentlemen? Down they go, and we have just a single red lady. Are we happy with that? Down it goes. Are you ready, Sir? All you have to do, Sir, is keep an eye on the queen. You wanna take your glasses off so you can be more eagle eyed? Okay, then, are you ready, Sir? Go on. Here we go. ♪ Find the red lady ♪ ♪ Find the red lady ♪ ♪ Where she goes ♪ ♪ Nobody knows ♪ Come on, Sir. Come on, Sir. - That one over on your left. - This o

ne, Sir? He is, ladies and gentlemen! (hands clapping) Give him a round of applause. Sir, take your money. Leave my Euro, thank you very much. - Easy money. - [Paul] Oh, come on, Sir, don't leave me hanging. The cat needs a supper. Now- - I'm very happy. Can you afford a supper for the cat, I've got your money? - Might I should buy my cat some chicken. (Paul clucking) This gentleman has just laid an egg. He's such a chicken. Young lady, you are right in the midst of the action. Will you give it

a go? - One, then. - Ah, come on everyone! (hands clapping) There we go. There's her 20 down on the table, the magic Euro. Here's my 20. See, look, not many left. ♪ Find the red lady ♪ ♪ Where she goes ♪ ♪ Nobody knows ♪ Right, come on, then. Right, you see that one? This one the right, Madam. She's a winner, (hands clapping) ladies and gentlemen. Oh, very good. Oh, very, very good. (hands clapping) Okay, okay. So how about double or nothing? Whoa! - Woo! - The game is on. (hands clapping) Are y

ou ready? - Yes. - [Paul] Do you want to close your eyes? - No. - [Paul] Okay. ♪ Find the red lady ♪ ♪ Find the red lady ♪ ♪ Where she goes ♪ ♪ Do you know ♪ - Yeah. - She's won again. (hands clapping) Okay, okay, uh, I'll tell you what. All I've got for my rent, here's this last 50. 50, everyone. I'll show you, look, it's not a fake one. It's a real one, 50. So on top of those twenties, if you've got a 50, let's go for the jackpot, shall we? Are you gonna play this game with me? - Sure. - Woo,

come on, everybody. Yes! (hands clapping) Get your camera phones out, this is gonna go viral. ♪ Find the red lady ♪ ♪ Find the red lady ♪ ♪ Where does she go ♪ ♪ I hope you don't know ♪ Which one would you like for the mega jackpot? This one? - No. - [Paul] This one? - No. - [Paul] Definitely that one? - Yes. - Yay, she's won! (upbeat rock music) - [Announcer] One in every 50 customers who buys one of these products will get all their money back, guaranteed. - So, what happened? - What? - With t

he trick? - What trick? - The trick, the card trick. You're supposed to make it impossible for the person to find the red lady. It's a trick. - Oh, really? You see, I just thought, like, there was a 6% chance they might find it. - You just thought there was a 6% chance that you might find it, like? - Yeah. - I don't know what to say to that. - Anyway, I'm seeing that lady later, and once word gets round, we'll be golden. - I hope so. (comical music) - Oh, yes, I'm getting something. The spirits

are talking to me. What was your cat's name again? - Mittens. - Mittens, that's right. That's right. Eyes closed, please. (Paul inhaling) Mittens is with us. - Is she happy where she is? - I suppose so. I mean, her meow quite low, but that normally happens in the first session. You have to book a few more, you see, and then she becomes louder, but I think so. - Did she suffer? - How did she pass again? - She was hit by a truck. (Paul chuckling) (Paul chuckling) - Well, that explains why her meow

s are so flat. But she passed quickly. - Can you get her to come here to us? - [Paul] Oh, sure, why not? Please place the item on the table. Lovely. Was that hers, was it? - It was her Sunday best. - Of course it was. Okay, then. And we close our eyes, don't forget. Thank you. Okay, I'm now talking to those in the spirit world. Please let the spirit that we used to know as Mittens come forth. - I don't feel anything. - I know. We've got the back door closed. She can't come in from there to us, y

ou see? Close your eyes again, please. (door sliding) Right, there we go. Start again. Concentrate. And we ask Mittens to come forth, come into the room and speak to us. Meow. Meow. Meow. Mittens is now with us. (door shutting) (comical music) (Paul gasping) (door opening) - Oh, sorry, didn't know the back door was open. (upbeat rock music) - What's up? (indistinct) himself. - He's away of being a spirit medium for people's pets. If anyone can talk to dead animals, it's him, I suppose. - That's

true. (Fred chuckling) - He tries. I have to give him that. What the? (Paul gasping) - What happened? - Did you get paid? - No. - So what happened? - You ain't gonna believe this, but I actually made contact with her dead cat, but he got angry. It, like, knew I was trying to rip the owner off. I swear, all the way home, the cats have been staring at me, knowingly. - So no more dead pet animal spirit medium work for you, though, no? - No. And just to be on the safe side, I'm going for a bath in h

oly water. (comical music continues) - Only him, why? - Anyway, man, I have to go meet Sarah, so I'll talk to you later. - Slide, talk to you later. - All right, kid. (comical music) (water splashing) (water splashing) (water splashing) - So that's where you got the 40 Euro for that bet? - What bet? - He thought he could beat the system and he laid down a 40 Euro bet on Ireland's last international game, but it finished nil on. - What did he bet on? - He bet 40 Euro, Ireland win eight-nil. I tri

ed to convince him not to, but sure, there's no talking to him. - I tell you, he is some bull (indistinct), but I tell you, he makes life interesting anyway. (Rob sighing) - He does. Did I tell you he tried busking last week? - No, but I'm assuming he didn't go well. - It didn't. Sure, he can't sing. - Mm-hmm. - He can't play an instrument. - Mm-hmm. - You've seen the state of him. (Fred laughing) He went home, got his Tim whistle, stood outside in the footpath, blew into it as hard as he could

and made 80 cent in eight hours, probably outta pity. - [Commercial Announcer] There are huge price reductions and interest-free credit. - I tell you, if you didn't laugh, you'd cry. But sure, you gotta love him. - Sometimes. - Anyway, I'm gonna head off because I have to meet Sarah for a date again later. - Another date? - Yeah. - Impressive. That's getting serious, is it? - It is, but you see, the problem is, like, she thinks I'm this sort of dangerous, criminal sort of character, you know? I

suppose she's just being a bit rebellious and going for someone a little bit more gritty than what she's used to. - Just act like Paul. - Really? - No. But you know, act more like Paul than yourself. Where are you going? - Just going down to the local cafe. I told her I have to lie low, you know, and nothing too fancy. And she'll like they know me in there anyway, as well. - All right. Later, gangster. - Later. (dramatic music) (footsteps tapping) - What happened? - Oh, you know that plan I had?

- The one that couldn't fail? - Yeah, well, it didn't quite work out. - So what happened? - Well, the idea was simple enough. I just went online, right, and I found a fella selling one of those new gaming consoles and all I did was offer for like 150 Euros more for it. (upbeat music) (phone beeping) (phone beeping) (keys typing) (phone beeping) (upbeat music continues) (phone beeping) (keys typing) (phone beeping) (phone beeping) (upbeat music softens) (phone beeping) (upbeat music continues) -

How did you get beat up? - Oh, well, I just texted him back and said the text wasn't for him; it was meant for somebody else. And I was gonna pay him but rob another bloke, but he was huge. I got a few good ones in, like, but he was just like too strong for me, that's all. Do you know what I mean? Anyway, something really good's come out of it. - Which would be what, exactly? - A new plan. - Oh! (comical music) - No, this one is bound to work, right? I was lying on the pavement, like, bleeding,

liver was hurting, right? A couple of these like suits, wankers, came past and, you know, briefcase, suits, you know, talking numbers, affairs, all that rubbish like. Completely oblivious to me, like, bleeding in the pavement right in front of 'em. Anyway, like, one of 'em says, "Oh, I've gotta make sure I get back and get their deposit in the safe." The other fellow says, "How much now like?" 20 grand. So my ears prick up, like, don't they, right? So I drag meself up, right, with all the blood

and the snot, hobble along, right, have a look at the offices, see where the light goes on, right? And do you what the good thing is, right? All they've got on the doors are those like little security switches and one night watchmen that's as old as the hills, right? So all I'm thinking is, right, we grab Fred, get down there tonight, get into that safe. - Idiot-proof as all of this sounds, Fred's on a date tonight. - Ah! Well, that's all right. You get the bottle on, right, I'll get me gear. G

ive Fred a call. (footsteps tapping) - So you honestly have never been arrested before? - No. Why, is it normal to have been arrested? - Yeah, I mean, once or twice, one would think so, but then again, I'd say you've never had problems with money, have you? - Shut up! (Fred laughing) So have you ever been to prison? - Ka-ka! Ka-ka! - Who is that dodgy looking character? - That's my buddy Paul there. I dunno what he wants. - Invite him over. - Oh, fuck off. No way. - Why, is he dangerous? He look

s a little dangerous. - No, no, no, he's, he's just a bit shy, you know? His uncle isn't well. Just see what he's- - Has he been arrested? He's definitely been arrested a bunch of times. - I dunno. Yeah, I'll be back. - On a date, are we? - Wished. - Right, fool-proof plan. We're gonna need you to meet us down by the offices next to the docks at about midnight. - I don't know, like, I just don't think so. - Listen, all you need to do is be there with the car, park a bit away from the buildings w

ith the engine running, wait for the two of us to come over. Trust me, nothing bad's gonna happen. Rob's well up for it. - Okay, if I agree, will you let me go back to Sarah? - Of course. - Okay, I'll meet you there at midnight. - Cool. By the way, she's a bonnie looking lass. What is she like, 16? - She's 25. She is, she's 25. - All right, enjoy. See you at midnight. Say hi to Sarah for me. Oh remember, don't forget to thank her parents for letting you take her out on a school night. - She's 25

. Now fuck off and don't come back. - Don't forget, you ain't seen me, right? (comical music) - [Fred] All right. - So how was that? That looked a little intense. - Oh, it's just guy stuff, you know? - Yeah? Do tell. - He just wants me to meet him later on tonight, down by the docks. - Oh yeah? You know, I could totally come along. - You could, but I don't think that'd be a good idea, you know? These guys are pretty dodge and so it's, I don't want you getting into any trouble. - Well, maybe a li

ttle trouble is exactly what I wanna be getting into. (dramatic music) (footsteps tapping) - Sarah, I presume? - Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you, too. Uh, Fred, can I have a word? - Just so you know, I'm not gonna be ratting anybody out and I'm ready to go if shit goes down. - Thank you, good to know. Fred? (footsteps tapping) One question. - I know. Look, I had to bring her. She wanted to know what I do for work. Plus, she has this real thing for putting herself into dangerous situations.

- So you decided that to prove how much of a bad guy you are, you'd casually bring her along to this crime that we're about to commit? - Look, she'll just sit in the car. It's not as if she's gonna rat us out or anything. - Fine. She stays in the car. One more thing. How old is she, 16 or something? I mean, if things go south here, is she even old enough to be able to drive? - She's 25. What is it with you and Bob? Listen, we will sit in the car, you guys go and get the safe, and when you are re

ady, you send me a text, all right? - Fine. (footsteps tapping) (suspenseful music) (footsteps tapping) (footsteps tapping) (suspenseful music continues) (Paul grunting) (footsteps tapping) (suspenseful music continues) (suspenseful music continues) (Paul grunting) (Paul grunting) (Paul panting) Stairs. Ssh, ssh, shh, shh. (Paul sighing) (Paul panting) (suspenseful music continues) (suspenseful music continues) (suspenseful music continues) (suspenseful music continues) - What? - I'm just saying

, you would look sexy with an eye patch. - Okay, but why would I lose an eye, though? - Because it's cooler. Like, in a knife fight or something. I'm just saying that it would be easy to lose an eye if you just applied yourself a little. (Fred sighing) - Yeah, I mean, anything is possible, I guess. - So how long do these things usually go on for? - Oh, with these two? Usually quick enough, yeah. - So do you think we have a little time? Give each other a good eyeful? - I'm sure we've got a couple

of minutes. - Imagine if they got caught and you had to go in and rescue them, maybe kidnap the security guy? - That could happen. - End up in a car chase where we just about get away, maybe even beat up the security guy just to keep him quiet. - Oh, that would be fun. - Oh yeah, it would be! Money flying all over the car, gunshots coming at us, a bullet flies past my hair. You don't slow down. A piece of shrapnel gets in your eye, but you don't stop. You just keep going faster and faster. Heli

copters are looming above us, getting closer and closer. Just right at the last second, we get away. What a rush. - Wow. - Just, yeah, just get, just a little. Yep, okay. Yep, okay. Ow, ow! - Sorry. - Yeah. - Sorry. - Okay. Fuck, ow! - Sorry, excuse me. - Okay, yeah. - So how do we open it? - What am I supposed to be listening for? - I dunno, clicks or something. - I can't really hear anything, just the odd beep. - You idiot. It's a digital safe. - That's all right, don't worry. I've got plenty

more tricks up me sleeve. Just go and check the door, all right? (suspenseful music) (bag rustling) (zipper unzipping) (aerosol spraying) (lid closing) (suspenseful music continues) (metal banging) - Ssh! Quiet! - What? - Could you make a little less noise? - Well, I tried to pick it, but I've snapped my medical card. - Can you open it or not? - Let me just try one more thing. - Quickly. Quickly! (metal rattling) - Fuck! - What? - Ah, I hit me finger. - He's outside, hurry. (metal banging) Serio

usly, shh, he's outside. - Sorry, I just tried to hammer it again. - We have to hide. - Whoa! Meow. - What are you doing? - It's all right, he'll just think it's a cat. Meow. - Making those noises? It would want to be a big cat making that much noise, like a tiger or something. - Rawr! - What are you doing? - I was being a big cat, like a tiger, like you said. - Shh! - Oh, come on. (light flicking) Lemme just hit him. - [Rob] We don't hit people, Paul. - Oh look, just one whack and we'll be off.

- No, just be quiet. (guard sighing) - Lads, come out of there, will ye? Listen, just stay right down now, okay? (guard sighing) Pick up. Hi there, listen, we just had a break in here at our office down the docks. Can you send someone around, please? Yeah, I have two suspects here. Can you send someone now? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, have the big guys come on. (hammer dropping) (guard wincing) Oh, oh, oh, oh. Yeah, I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay. Yeah, the safe is okay, but look, I'm going after 'em, righ

t? Send someone, will ye? All right. Oh, shit, send someone along, will you? (upbeat rock music) (upbeat rock music continues) (upbeat rock music continues) (water splashing) (water splashing) Now, lads, come on, just hold on. I don't get paid enough for this. (water splashing) (upbeat rock music continues) (water splashing) (upbeat rock music continues) (upbeat rock music continues) (door opening) - He still coming? - Wait! I don't get paid in the for this! (upbeat rock music softens) - Honestl

y, this is top stuff. Best quality. Couldn't be fresher. - And you can get 500 pounds of it? - Definitely. We can make some good money on this. - Okay. All right, if it's as good you say it is, we go 50-50 on the profit. - 70-30. - 50-50. - 60-40. - Okay, we say 50-50. - Deal. We're gonna make some good money on this. - Yeah, I'll believe that when I see it. - Why would you ever doubt me? - Uh, okay, what about those baby eels you tried to sell me? - What? - The worms you painted black? And don'

t get me started on the giant, fresh snails. - They were fresh. - Okay, yeah, to be fair, they actually were fresh, but problem was they were mostly slugs that you had glued giant seashells to the back of them. - Yeah, but I bet you they were tasty. You missed a trick on that one. Anyway, trust me on this. - Look, all right- - It's bound to work. - Okay, but Paul, (crow cawing) I swear to God if this is another box of hedgehogs or baby badgers or whatever, I'm just.. - Have I let you down? - Tru

st you? Have- - Recently? - Yes. I just explained what- - Talk you later. (comical music) - Prick. - I'm glad she's okay anyway. (upbeat commercial music) Paul? Are you gonna tell us what's going on? - You'll find out later. Is he bringing the car? - Yeah, he won't tell me here. All he's saying is can you come around, around six-ish? Listen, will you leave Sarah at home as well? Yeah, God knows what this fella's got planned. Yeah, yeah. Okay, talk to you later. Slan, slan. - So? Is he gonna brin

g the car? - Yeah. Are you gonna tell me what's going on? - Well, you know Frank Sweeney lives down the road there? He's got the butcher shop? - Frank, the butcher? - Yeah, that's him. Well, I went to see him and see if he'd be interested in taking some, like, fresh meat off us. Like, fresh, straight from the farmer's. He said he'd be happy to take it off us and give us half the profits. So if he sells it for five Euros a pound on average, with like 500 pounds of meat, that's like 2,500 Euros, s

o we'll get like 1,200. - Genius plan. - Thank you. - One problem. - What's that? - We don't have 500 pounds of beef. (Paul sighing) - See, that's what we're doing tonight. I know another fella, he'll let us have some fresh meat and all he wants is a hundred Euros. - Is it stolen? - No, not exactly. - Is this gonna cause some kind of a public health scare now and some mass, national outcry? - My guy says it's the highest quality. Only catch is we've gotta load it all ourselves. - Okay. So we'll

bring some bags or boxes of ice. So I'm sure Fred doesn't want 500 pounds of beef sitting around in the back of his car. - Don't worry, I've got it covered, all right? (comical music) (comical music continues) (comical music continues) (comical music continues) (footsteps tapping) (comical music continues) (hand knocking) - How are you? How are you going? - All good, everything's set? - We're already all good to go. We got one problem, though. How long is it going to take? She's inside there, sh

e's asking stupid questions. - Not more than hour, I promise you that. - Right, one hour. Noe get back onto me straight away and we'll get down to business. - Now as soon as I've got it, I'll ring you. - All right, good, mate. Go on. (comical music continues) (engine humming) - Right, come on, follow me. (door opening) (crow cawing) We're here. - Here? (crow cawing) What are we doing in a field? The house is up that way. - We're not going to the farmhouse. - That's the only house I see, anyway.

Where are we going? - We're here. - Where's here? What's with the rope? - Be quiet. You might disturb the farmer. - Disturb the farmer? What's with the? We are here to rob a cow, aren't we? - We are what? - Look, if I'd have told you that before, you wouldn't have come, would you? And I can't get a cow on my own. - Jesus Christ. There's a reason we wouldn't come along; because it's insane. Let's just say by some mad reason that we go down to Miss Daisy over there, how are we actually gonna cut h

er up into meat the people can eat? We'll be caught! - Right. Bill has got a slaughterhouse set up in the back of his house, right? So all we need to do is catch the cow, take her to the car, then go to the house, right, then he will slaughter her, cut up the meat, we'll take the meat to the butcher and we'll make some money. (birds chirping) - We'll catch the cow, take her to the car, take her to the house, we, how are we gonna control a cow with a bit of rope? - Well, I just thought we'd, like

, lasso her, and then just guide her over to the car. - Paul, it's not a dog. You can't just walk a cow on a leash and bring her to the car like she's a pup. - It's a milking cow? Have you seen the tits on her? Can you even eat a dairy cow? - Of course. Meat's meat, isn't it? (Rob sighing) - Desperate times, I suppose. - Exactly. - Let's do it. - Come on. - Wow. (comical music) - All right, just lay it on. I got this. Ah! - Oh my God. (Paul moaning) (foot kicking) It's all right, it's all right.

Look, I got this, don't worry. Here we go. Here we go. Come on, then. Come on, Chuck. - Oh, she's gonna fucking- - Come on, then. - She's gonna tackle you. - Come on. - What's it? - Come on. Come on. - Whew! - Come on, girl. - You do realize it's not a bull like? - Huh? - You know it's not a bull? If you didn't laugh, you'd cry. (crow cawing) - Oh crap! - What? (Paul laughing) - I just stepped in cow crap. (Fred laughing) - [Paul] Come on. - This is crazy. Imagine trying to explain this to a co

p or to a judge or somebody, walking around someone's farm, stepped in cow crap. - But at least I'm trying to make you some money. What are you doing? - Trying to make us some money? - Yes. - You're waving some kind of a fluorescent towing rope around your head- - It's to attract a cow. - Like a cowboy, and waving a flag around, pretending you're some kind of a mat. I? Farmer. (suspenseful music) - Oh fuck. - Oh, mate. (upbeat rock music) (farmer shouting) - I'll tear your fucking heads off! (up

beat rock music continues) (hand knocking) (window squeaking) - [Guard] Hey, lads, how are we doing? - Guard. - Where are you after? - Home, guard. (cow mooing) - Gimme one second here. (birds chirping) - Just drive off. - Drive off? Why would I drive off? We've done nothing wrong. The car is clean. I'm not driving off. We've done absolutely- - Where do you live, lads? - Just down the road there, Piggy, or officer. - Would you mind telling me what three lads are doing this hour of night driving

around? You wouldn't be up here, illegal dumping. would you? - No, no, no. People who dump illegally are going nowhere in life, guard. - No, all of this, our horse ran away earlier, so we've just been out looking for him. - Yeah, Officer, our horse ran away from the stable that we keep him in. - A horse ran away from home, is that what you're telling me? (birds chirping) Yeah, (indistinct). (birds chirping) All right, lads. (soft rock music) (paper rustling) (door creaking) - Great end to a grea

t day. - It's all right. I can always find somewhere else to go. - Maybe. I'm gonna go visit my mother tomorrow. Do you wanna come along? - I can't, I've already got something on. Give her my love, though. - Something on? Nothing too crazy? - No, it's something I've had planned for awhile. You can trust me on this one. (door shutting) (soft rock music continues) (soft rock music continues) (soft rock music continues) (mugs rattling) - There you go, Mum. How have you been feeling? - Ah, you know

yourself. Good days and bad days. I don't know myself some days. You should visit more often. - I will, Mum. I'll visit more. - Are you behaving yourself? (Mum laughing) Sure, look who I'm asking. - Good as gold, Mum, as always. - Did you hear about Mrs. O'Brien? She died there the other day. - I did. I sent a mass card to David. - She was a lovely woman. Made it to 90. Hmm, that's a good innings. What was it your father used to say? - A good innings up to the last outing. He was a wise man. - A

wise guy, more like it. Ah, she was a great woman. Worked as a teacher all her life, you know? - She was. Lovely woman, very kind. - Well, she was a dear neighbor for over 40 years. If you ever needed anything, she'd be there to give you a hand. And she never passed judgment on anyone, did Mrs. O'Brien. - Come here? How are yourself and Lisa getting on moving in together? - Oh yeah, it's great having her around the house. But she can't stay here forever, you know? She's her own life to live. Ar

e you staying for dinner? - I can't, Mum, I have to be somewhere, but I'll be back Sunday for some of your famous roast. How's that? - Well, if I make that, you better show up or you'll be the next thing I roast. - I will. - How's Paul? - Ah, sure, you know yourself, looking for a job. Always the same with Paul. - Well, he's lucky to have a friend like you. Ah, Rob, when did you get here? Grab a tea for yourself. - I will in a minute. How are you? - I'm grand. Not too bad. Did you hear about Mrs

. O'Brien? - I did, Mum. She was a lovely neighbor. - She was, for over 40 years, you know? - Wonderful neighbor. - Oh, she was. And she used to bring apples for your dad from her tree because she knew how much he liked apples. You know, your grandmother could never get over how many apples he could eat. She used to call him an orchard soul. (Mum chuckling) Do you remember? - I remember, Mum. (upbeat rock music) (upbeat rock music continues) (upbeat rock music continues) (upbeat rock music conti

nues) ♪ Winner ♪ ♪ Winner ♪ ♪ Winner ♪ ♪ Winner ♪ ♪ Win ♪ (electric guitar solo music) (upbeat rock music continues) (upbeat rock music continues) ♪ Winner ♪ ♪ Winner ♪ (upbeat rock music softens) - How long have you been here? - About an hour or so. - How has she been? - On and off, you know yourself, kind of. I've heard about Mrs. O'Brien now about five times. - Yeah, she has her good days and her bad days at the moment. You staying for dinner? - You cooking? - Of course. - No. - Jerk! (hand s

lapping) - No, I've things to do. I have to go somewhere. - Did you get the rent and stuff sorted? - No. - You're not up in court again, are you? - Even better. Getting evicted. - Evicted? As in kicked out? When? - About two weeks. - Shit. You could always stay here on the couch. - Oh, I'm sure. I can't leave Paul on his own. - Why not? Nothing good ever happens with him. Why are you even friends? - Ah, he's harmless. - Harmless? I doubt that. Charmless, maybe. What are you gonna do? - I dunno.

Something always comes up. - Just nothing illegal, all right? - Sure. Here, though. - I can't take that. I can't take money off the soon to be evicted. - It's not for you, it's for Mum. (money rustling) - The offer still stands, yeah? - Thanks. I appreciate that. How's Lisa anyway? - Doing well. Looking good. - Coach? - All right, how you doing, bud? - How has that been? - Yeah, it was awesome. That was a great class. - Thought so. - Went very well. - Exactly. I was just thinking like, when can

we think about my first fight, like, do you know what I mean? - Okay, well, we're gonna need to kind of slow down a small bit, right? It doesn't really happen that fast. This is just your first lesson. So let's, like, take it week by week. We'll see where you're at. - Week by week? You just saw me, like, them young fellas, I was wiping the floor with them. - Yeah, I know. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, you were awesome, but it's first night. I mean, we've gotta talk about getting you some novice expe

rience, some grappling tournaments, some kickboxing matches. - Novice? I don't really see myself as a novice, do you know what I mean? - Right. - I you must have watched it on the television, do you know what I mean? - Mm-hmm. - What's his name? McGregor? You know, he runs around all oiled up like, his fancy, little belt. - Mm-hmm. - Surely, you know, I could have a crack at him, do you know what I mean? What do I do? Should I just go social media and I'll call him a few names, say things about

his mom? What do you reckon? - See, it's a bit of a long process, you know, and the UFC, they come to you. It's not the other way around. - They come to me? - Well, actually- - So, well, do you know any of them? - I know some of 'em, yeah. - Well, there you go, mate. Give 'em my Instagram account, they can come and check me out. So DM me, next thing you know, hang on, mate, what's? Oh, shit. I'll see you next week, Coach. (hand patting) - Who was that? - He just joined tonight. I dunno, he's a b

it eager, like. - That's the guy. - What do you mean, that's the guy? - The guy that tried to move me off last week, pushed me around, (indistinct). - That guy? - Did you get his name or address or anything? - Well, he signed a waiver, so maybe if you check reception on the way out. - Poor fellow's down on his luck. Hopefully he comes back. - We'll see him next week. Anyway, warmups. Let's go. (upbeat music) (upbeat music continues) - So you've got my note, did ya? Two weeks, man. You have to be

out it two weeks, and I don't wanna be calling the Navies. Do you want me to calling the Navies? - You'd like that, right, wouldn't you? - You are useless man. Listen, two weeks, out, or I come up and I'll drag you out myself, all right? Yeah? Out. (comical music) - So he wanted you to take this cow to this other guy's house and cut it up? - Yeah, I told you I was dangerous. (Sarah laughing) - I wouldn't say that's dangerous. Paul's a bit simple, but I wouldn't say that's dangerous. - No, no, n

o, what I meant was we were going into this field and we were trying to be quiet and we're not trying to be seen, and then this farmer comes along and he has this huge gun, like the biggest you've ever seen. And he is just teeing off, and it's going pow, pow, pow, straight over our heads. We were diving left. I'm telling you, we were lucky to get out of there alive. - Okay, that sounds a little dangerous. - Yeah. Look, I literally thought I was a goner, you know? - Hey, guys. - All right. - Hey,

you were there last night, weren't you? - I was. - He says that you're lucky that you guys got out alive? - Very lucky. Cows are dangerous beasts. - I wasn't talking about a cow. - The guns. The guns, we're running guns. And the farmer, the farmer was gun run, the farmer was running after us with guns and he was shooting at us, and there was shots going over our head. The farmer was running after us with guns and he was shooting at us, and there were shots going over our heads, and it was like

Vietnam. It was like a war zone. And this guy saved my life. He's a hero. - Oh, he didn't tell me that he saved you. - Ah, he's just being modest. Didn't want to embarrass me, probably. - Well, aren't you a hero? Self-sacrificing hero, nefarious criminal. God, you really are complex. - Ah, you know, I'm just looking out for my friends. Actually, Rob, do you wanna join us? - No. No, I'd feel like I was intruding. - Not at all. Sit down. - No, I need to go and check on Paul after last night. He's

a bit of a mess mentally after the night, so I'm just gonna go and check on him and make sure he's happy. He saved Paul as well, actually. he saved everyone last night. He's a hero. So, I'll chat later. - Dangerous and a hero? You really are the whole package. - Oh, like I said, just looking out for my friends. - So when are we gonna get to do something dangerous so that you can look out for me? - Soon. - Imagine if you got shot. You'd look so sexy with a bullet wound, and I could put you all ba

ck together again. You know, I'm really good with the needle. Make sure you didn't bleed out. - Um, yeah. (organ music) (organ music continues) - How was your Mum? - She was good. She was asking for you, actually. - Oh? I'll come over next time, I promise. - Sure. How did your thing go? - It didn't work out. I was trying a new hobby, but it wasn't for me. - New hobby? - Don't worry about it. - Okay. Anything good on? - Nah, just the usual shit, really. - [Rob] Any "Tipping Point" or anything? -

I'll have a look. - [TV] For over 30 years. - I met Fred earlier. He was with, what's her name, Sarah. They said to say hi. - Where did you see them, then? - Just down at the cafe. Actually, I'll give Fred a call there. (organ music continues) (TV actors chattering) No answer. I'd say he's still out with Sarah. - You know what tomorrow is? You still coming? - Of course. - Thanks. (soft piano music) - Are you okay? - Yeah. (Paul sobbing) It's just harder every year. - Yeah, I know. Take your time

. We're in no rush. - I'm sorry. - [Rob] Sorry for what? - Just being such a screw up. - Don't be silly. You're not a screw up. - Yes, I am. If it wasn't for me, we wouldn't be getting evicted. - Don't be silly. Life would be so boring without you. (Paul laughing) We'll come up with a way. We always do. - Thanks. (Paul sniffling) - [Rob] I'll be over here, man. Take your time. - Yeah, I will. (soft piano music continues) (gate rattling) (upbeat rock music) - You listen to me now, you little shit

. You stay away from my daughter, or else I'll make sure they'll never find your body. - I didn't do anything. - I know what I saw. Mark my words, if I see you anywhere around Sarah again, I'll end you. - All right, relax. It's a bit much, but I didn't do anything. I said I didn't do anything, all right? - I'm fucking serious! - I believe you. - All right, mate, how are you doing? - Not too bad. Working the factory these days. I can get you in if you like. - No, I dunno about that. I'm not reall

y made for a proper job, am I? I could deal with the cash, though. - Well, I'll ask around, see if anything's going, and I'll let you know. Anyways, I better get back to herself before she kills me. - You stay safe, mate, all right? (comical music) (comical music continues) - Hello, Mr. Rogers. - Paul, what are you up to? - Oh, you know, a bit of this and that. - Yeah. - So no Bailey with you today? - No, no, she's at home. - Oh, I see. So all is it for you then, a bit of the old afternoon drink

ing? - Indeed. It helps me pass the day, you know yourself? - I do, I do. - Do you wanna join me for a few? - You know, I'd love to, but not today. - Okay. - I'll catch you tomorrow, all right? - Maybe some other day. (upbeat music) Take care. - And you. Stay safe, all right? - What's for dinner? - There's nothing in the freezer. Chinese, maybe? - Yeah, that works. (hand knocking) - Who's there? - I dunno. Sure, you're going out there, anyway. Check on the way. - Oh, I'll check. (footsteps tappi

ng) It's Fred. - Let him in. - [Anchor] With ESP Shops nationwide. Buy any Hoover, Belling, Sharp, Dimplex or Morgan Richards in our anniversary sale. - All right. - What happened to you? (Fred sighing) - Long night, buddy. I'll tell you later. How's your mum? - Good for her. You know, she has her ups and downs, good days, bad days. - Yeah. - Bloody hell, what happened to you? Sarah dump you or something? - Well, long night, is all, boy. Anyway, what about yourselves? Anything on for the tonight

? - We're gonna order some Chinese later if you want in. - Yeah, sounds good. Any luck in the financial situation? - Nope. We might need to rob a bank or something, though, something along those lines. - Yeah, or kidnapping maybe, you know? You don't hear a lot of those these days. - That's a great idea. - I'm actually kidding. - Oh yes, so am I, of course. - Yeah. - [Announcer] Washing machine at 249. - [Announcer] Or this fridge-freezer at 189. - [Announcer] This dishwasher at 229. - [Announce

r] This microwave at- - What time is it? (Fred sighing) - About to be seven. - All right, I've had an idea. - Here we go. - It's bound to work. - Nothing stupid now, Paul. - It's me. You can trust me. (hand tapping) Our financial troubles will soon be over. - Should we be worried? - Probably, but you know him. - I know, but like, seriously, like what are you actually going to do? - No idea, man. But I might have the answer here. - Winning ticket is it? - That's what I asked for anyway. - What's

the jackpot? - Just under 5 million, I think. - Yeah, that should just about do it. - Anyway, come on, what happened? Did Sarah dump you or something? - I wish. - Come on. - I can't, man, it's embarrassing, like. - I could use a laugh right now. - All right, okay, but I want 15% of the lottery winnings. (Rob laughing) - Deal. - So last night I was out with Sarah, right? And we're in the car, in my car, and I'm driving her home. Now, she still lives with the parents, right? So we're sitting outsi

de and we're talking. - So they're gonna be homeless now, are they? - Yeah, more or less. I mean, they will find somewhere. Rob can move in home, but he won't, you know? - And why not? - He wouldn't be allowed to have Paul move in, and his mom is sick, and (Fred coughing) his sister wouldn't allow it, basically. - Well, why can't he just move in and Paul find somewhere else? - Yeah, I mean, you could say that but, but I couldn't see him leaving him like that, you know? - Leaving him? They're not

a couple. Or is it like a thick as thieves type thing? - No, I, you see, Paul- - Mm-hmm. - Paul is an only child. - Mm-hmm. - And one day when he was about 18 or 19, he was in the car with his parents and Rob, and after they dropped Rob off home, there was an accident. - A bad one? - Yeah, pretty bad. Both his parents were killed, and Paul ended up in hospital, in a bad situation, and damage done to his brain, you know? Made him more impulsive, made him more like what you see today, you know? A

ll of his friends stopped talking to him. Well, you know, Rob stuck by his side, you know, felt a little bit of responsibility for him, I guess. - Wasn't his fault. - No. No, but you know, they're an odd couple and, but they have their fun, you know? - Well, what about we have a little fun, hmm? - What, right here? - Yeah, why not? - Right here, in front of your parents' house? - I thought you liked to live a little dangerously. - You're mad? Yeah, I do, but, what are we doing? This, it's too, w

hat? (head crashing) (horn honking) Sarah? Sarah? (hand tapping) Sarah? (hand tapping) Hi, Sarah? (hand tapping) (horn honking) Jesus Christ. Wake the fuck up, Sarah. (upbeat rock music) Oh, fuck. So he's there, and I'm just trying to put her top on. He thinks I'm trying to rape her or something. So he calls the cops and the ambulance pulls her out, cracks me one, and I get hauled away. - Was she okay? - She was fine. They took her to hospital. The cops called me in, tried talking to her, but sh

e's still feeling a little bit groggy, so the dad tells you'll call him later. So I spent the night in the cells. Calls me out because I'm going to be up before the judge in the morning, apparently. Eventually, eventually Sarah calls them and tells them everything and they let me go. It doesn't even end there. I meet the dad then outside the station and he warns me off her, you know? Needless to say, probably wasn't my best date ever. - Only you. So what's the deal now? Is it all off? (Fred laug

hing) - I dunno. I said she won't be seeing me anytime soon anyway. - I'd say you've earned another cup of tea. - Oh, thanks. Seriously, though, should we be worried about him? - Nah, he's grand. He's probably gone down to the lock to rob a few ducks to sell to the takeaway. (Fred laughing) - Only him. (suspenseful music) (suspenseful music continues) So what now for you? Have you looked into a new place yet? - [Announcer] Strawberry cheesecake flavor. - Yeah, we've looked at a few, but they all

want references. - You know, now, lads, if I had the space, I would. - Don't worry about it. Like I said, (hand tapping) winning ticket. - I forgot. - What time is the drawing? - Half seven? - What time is it now? - Oh, just about that. (suspenseful music) (suspenseful music continues) (suspenseful music continues) (ticket rustling) - What do you want from your winnings? - A new car would be nice after last night. - [Rob] Done. - And yourself? - Here we go. - [Lotto Announcer] Ah, but enough ab

out me. Let's get to these lottery numbers. People, have I mentioned tonight's jackpot has climbed to nearly 5 million? - Geez, some hot stuff. - [Lotto Announcer] Wow, that's a lot of wines, people. Okay, we've got these balls jumping around here like a bunch of Jack Russell terriers, so let's get to it. First number out is 27. 27, what a coincidence; that's my age. - One. - [Lotto Announcer] Okay, next up here is 12. Number 12. I think that's the age I started puberty. - Two. - [Lotto Announce

r] I was an early bird. - Fuck off? - [Lotto Announcer] Okay, what's next? Next we have number 17. 17. And the fourth ball out, oh- - Three. - [Lotto Announcer] Oh, that's 11. - Huh? Wait, boy, stop messing. - [Lotto Announcer] Also the number of purses I brought- - 21. - [Lotto Announcer] The other day. - 11 and five, that's four. - Go, what'd you get for four? - Five and 21 left. - This is close to you. - [Lotto Announcer] 21. So unfair that ball gets to be 21 forever. - That's five numbers. -

Rob? - [Lotto Announcer] Anyway, get ready. It's time for the last ball. - Stop fucking messing. - [Lotto Announcer] Best of luck, cross those fingers. - What are you really at? - Number five. - [Lotto Announcer] We have- - No way. - [Lotto Announcer] Number five. - Jesus Christ. - [Lotto Announcer] Number five. - What do you- - [Lotto Announcer] Well, congratulations to all these- - Is that? - [Lotto Announcer] Cash winners out there. - Jesus Christ, that's number, how many numbers do you have

? - I have six numbers. - [Lotto Announcer] Thanks for tuning in, everyone. (comical music) - You've just won the fucking lotto. You've just, you've just, Rob, you've just won the fucking lotto! Oh my God! (Fred laughing) (hands clapping) You just with the lotto, boy! (Fred laughing) Oh my God, do you know what we do? We call Tom. Ring Tom. Ring Tom and tell him to go fuck himself. Oh my God, boy, we've won the lotto. How much is it? What'd you win? - 5 million Euro. - 5 million fucking Euros, b

oy! Do you know what we do? We'll call himself. (footsteps tapping) - How did you get on? Have you solved our money crisis? - You could say that. - He seems to think you were up at the locks stealing some ducks. - He's not far off, actually. - What did you do? - Well, do you remember earlier when he mentioned kidnapping? - You didn't? Who's that in the hall? - Wait here. - [Announcer] Plus, there are huge price reductions and interest-free credit on a big range of selected models. Get the facts

about big five-oh at your local ESP shop. - Come on, come on. Well, genius or what? His son's loaded, he's bound to post a huge reward for her, right? All we've gotta do is let her stay here for a few days and then we'll just say we were down the lock, right, and we recognized her with a few, like, teenagers. We scared them off, rescued her. Money's ours. It's bound to work. - I'm gonna kill him. - We needed the money. Now we're gonna get paid. - We go down for this, and I didn't get a chance to

tell you earlier, we won the lottery. - Oh, fuck off. Like, how many numbers? - All six. (hands rubbing) - Oh, so you mean like won the lotto, won the jackpot lotto, not like a tenner? - Yes, won the lotto. - How much, then? - Five million Euro, just under. So you need to bring that dog back, and we'll all go and collect our winnings. All right, but where has she gone? - Oh shit! - [Announcer] The roasting pan 'til next morning. But now it's easier. (comical music) - Sorry for your loss. - Than

ks. - Anything I can do? - See you back to the house later? - Could you bring Fred and Paul back? - Yeah, no bothers. - Sorry for your loss. Rob. (comical music continues) - Sorry. (hands patting) (Paul sobbing) (Paul sobbing) (Paul sobbing) (comical music continues) - Some memories in this place, I'd say. - The best. That's all they are now, memories. - What's gonna happen to the place? - I dunno. Sell it, maybe. I dunno what bills are left or what's owed on the mortgage, if there even is a mor

tgage. We're meeting a lawyer tomorrow. We'll know more then. - Be sad to see somebody else living here, though. - Yeah. I keep imagining her walking out of the kitchen with three big fries in her arm for us. (Fred laughing) - She was a great lady. I'm gonna miss her. - Yeah, me too. (somber music) (birds chirping) (somber music continues) - Again, sorry for your loss. I just need to double check that you are her only children, correct? - That's correct. - [Lawyer] Okay, firstly, what did you kn

ow about your mother's life insurance policy? - Not a lot, honestly. - Well, the good news is that there's enough there to cover paying off the mortgage on the house and there's also enough there to cover the funeral costs. - Oh, that's great. - Now, in terms of the house, she asked that you keep it in the family, that one of you move into it and live there. I'll let you decide that amongst yourselves. You don't have to decide all that today, obviously. - You and Paul should move in. - Really? -

Yeah. Wouldn't you move in until I can sell my place and then I'll move in, give you half the value, and maybe you and Paul can find somewhere small. - Seems fair. - Like I said, you don't have to decide all that today, obviously. I'll get the paperwork going to have the mortgage cleared and get a check out to you to cover the funeral costs. - Thank you. - Now, when your dad died last year, he left everything to your mother with a note that when she died, whatever was left over would go to you

both. In terms of cash, that's around a hundred Euros each. - [Sister] Okay. - However, when your dad retired in the nineties, he had gotten some advice to invest some of his retirement money in an investment for the future. Now he didn't invest a lot, but your mom never touched it, so it passes to you guys both now, even 50-50 split. - [Sister] Sure. - So when he retired in nineties, he bought some shares in Apple, under the advice of someone in the bank. Just checking there, so in 1995, he bou

ght about 500 pounds worth of shares, and set it aside for 25 years. At that time, that bought him around 2,590 shares. At today's prices, just checking there, that comes in at just over $365,000 or just over 306,000 Euro. (comical music) (phone ringing) - I have to take this, sorry. - Before you gimme the news, I've had an idea. Trust me, this one's bound to work. (upbeat music) - I'm sure it's great. Come on inside. I'll tell you what the guy said. (hand patting) - What do you know about tadpo

les? (upbeat music continues) (upbeat music continues) (upbeat music continues) (upbeat music continues) (upbeat music continues) (upbeat music continues) (upbeat music continues) (upbeat music continues) (upbeat music softens)