- It's a great day for youth sports. I just hope both teams have fun. That's a lie. I want one team to have fun. I want the other team to leave crying. Hey Mark, good to see you. Playing the Ravens today. Just took it upon myself
to do a little research. I'm gonna send the coach a Google doc. They got a kid named Nicholas. He went through puberty at like 10. (partner laughing)
The guy has a mustache. Are you kidding me? I don't see him out there. Maybe he's hurt. That would be amazing. Uh, nope,
there's Nicholas. Probably got like a girlfriend by now. He probably drove here. Geez, look at him. I'm sure they like re-classed him, but how many times can you re-class a kid? That kid is 17. I saw his mom post prom pictures. I mean, I don't wanna be that guy, but have we seen Nicholas's
birth certificate? (partner laughing) No, babe, you can just
sit at the bleachers with the other parents. I just like to be by myself, back here by myself with
my emotions, just to, just to have my emotions b
efore the game. This is gonna be a tough one. This, this is gonna be a tough
one today, but we got this. Me do not got this. Good to see you. I mean, the mom's not even that big. How does her son end up?
(partner chuckling) He's, he's 12, and he's six foot two. Hey Mark. Nicholas's beard is coming in nice, right? I can't get a beard to do that. He's doing great. Fricking Mark. Woo! Nope, can't sit. Cannot sit. Just gonna,
(partner laughing) just gonna walk around. We can beat this team. We just
need to stay in
front of him and behind them and around them, and take
advantage of the counter. But we got this. They're lining up in a 4, 2, 4. We need to be in a 4, 3, 3. I should probably tell the coach. The coach loves it when
parents give feedback and suggestions in real time. Hey Coach Darren, do you
feel like a four three? No? Are you sure? You wanna do it like that? Okay. Aye, aye captain. Woo! I'm just gonna take a
seat and close my eyes and put on my sunglasses, and
if my kid looks ov
er here, it's gonna look like my eyes are open, but I don't see a thing, box breathing. - [Husband] That's a you thing. - That is me. I do that. Woo. Sitting did not work. They were doing better
when I was standing. So I'm gonna stand now. You got this buddy.
(hands clapping) Looking great out there. Looking like we need a
little more practice, but you're doing. Great shot. So close.
(hands clapping) Oh my God, he whiffed that by eight feet. Hey ref, did you spot that? Nicholas just clothes-line
d my kid. I'm gonna egg his house,
gonna slash his tires, 'cause he freaking drove here. Oh, dang it. Missed that. Maybe it's because we're not
working hard enough at home. Maybe we should pull him outta school, do like eight hours of daily training. Just really, his success
means a lot to me, and seeing him succeed is very important to my self worth and how I view myself
(husband chuckling) as a man.
- Stop it. Stop. - I think we're about
to get mercy ruled here. That'll be a fun car ride home.
You guys tune up. Looking great. Hey Mark. Yeah, Nicholas is looking great out there. You have a footwork coach? And a strength and conditioning coach? And a nutritionist? Mind sharing those numbers? I know youth sports is,
you know, ups and downs, but I could use some ups here. Yeah. He's homeschooled now? Wow. It's paying off. What the actual (beep) is happening?
(husband chuckling) (whistle trills)
And that's game. Okay, good effort guys. Hey coach, I took some stats here, and if you wanted
to just look to see that maybe I was right about the 4, 3, 3, instead of whatever this was. Maybe next weekend, we don't have to hang our heads in shame. I mean, I don't wanna start any rumors, but I saw Nicholas chugging
a beer the other night. I mean, I don't wanna be
the person that starts that, but I think that's, that
is not an eighth grader. ♪ Check out theholdernessfamily.com. ♪ ♪ We got a game you can try
and a book you can buy ♪ ♪ and some brand new merch to try on ♪ ♪ Can you tell we'r
e busy? ♪ ♪ And we also have a podcast and a blog ♪ (upbeat music)
Comments
“I love it when parents give feedback in real time” - said no coach ever 😆
As Nicholas' mom, I can confirm that he celebrated the 10th anniversary of his 12th birthday, last month. You wanna make something of it?
The amount of times I've wanted to see birth certificates from the other teams is accurate.
My husband was the "Nicholas"! He was literally 6'2" when he was 12. He played elite baseball and was constantly having to provide his birth certificate to prove his age. FYI, he grew up to be 6'8". 😂
This is so accurate! I'm the mom that sits with sunglasses on, away from everyone & watches everything & hubby walks the football field, with the team, "helping the coaches" 😂😂😂
My dad once got a red card watching my brother’s soccer team 😂
Kim as Pen is always funny 😆
Kim is perfection as usual, but I loved Penn in the background trying to stifle his laughter. Great feedback that she was on-point in acting like him. I think we need (if they would be willing) your kids doing a skit where they mimic you two! This is how our parents act... ;-)
When my (now 33 year old son) was like eight or so, he played soccer and my husband and another dad who knew NOTHING about soccer became the coaches because the guy who was supposed to do it never showed up. So they got printed out directions and made up a ton of drills. The team beat everybody in the league--in part because a little boy named Nicholas (aka Nick) was some sort of soccer prodigy. Seriously. He owned the field (years later, he got a scholarship to some college because of this gift). The next year, our second borne, age 7, played goalie on a different team while his Dad coached his brother (his coach thought it was hilarious that he hung upside down from the goal-screen thing and jumping down to block the shot--every time). My husband and I were watching his team play one day and I noticed this great big guy walking up and down the boundary line (?) yelling at the kids. "Is that a coach?" I asked my husband. "No," he replied with a sigh. "That's a dad."
The car slowing down to wonder what is going on lol
I would just like to point out that, many decades ago, I was an eighth grader, a year younger than most of my fellow students because my parents saved on childcare by starting me early, who was over 6ft, had a mustache and beard. Though I did shave. Would have weighed somewhere around 250lbs. Go easy on Nick.
Penn, cracking up in the background! 😂😂😂😂
Hearing Penn chuckle through the whole thing killed me. 😂
I love when Kim role plays as Penn! To be fair, Penn is great as Kim ... but is so much better when this goes both ways! ... Maybe Kim and Penn need to do joint cross roll playing about themselves as a couple ... Yay! ❤❤
She nailed the body and facial movements! 😂
Being the mom of a kid who was 6’ 2” at 12 years old, I carried a birth certificate with me at all times.
We really DID get asked for a birth certificate once. Our older son was born tall and never fell into even the 99th percentile for height. He actually WAS nearly 6 feet tall at age 12. ALWAYS the tallest kid in his class and he was actually the youngest. He’s all grown up now…..and 6’7”.
I wait for the parent breakdown 😂😂 it's my secret laugh ❤
My 6 year old is playing her first soccer game this Saturday… the team has had one practice. It’s gonna be a shitshow 😅
Kim saying/mouthing the "F" word made me chuckle.