Phil Reacts to Childhood Horror Movie!

P: Hey guys, and welcome to my director's commentary of my childhood film, "The Madness of Matthew Swiatczak." If you've got no idea what that is, then you should totally watch this video first, as it explains everything, and also there is a link below, if you're on a mobile phone. So go do that now. I'll just give you a little bit of clicking time. (fingers clicking) Get it? Clicking time? No? Okay, let's do this! Let's jump back in time to when I was twelve, and together we will experience "Th

e Madness of Matthew Swiatczak." Okay, to set the scene, this is me and my friend Anya at an abandoned hospital. Why did my parents let me go to an abandoned hospital? I have no idea. Uh, especially with a knife and a fake gun. Check out my amazing Umbro T-shirt as well. That was the pinnacle of '90s fashion. Anyway. Spoiler: she's about to be murdered. I played the murderer for this scene because my friend Matt couldn't be there. Ohhhh, he's chasing her through the woods... Look behind youuuu!

Oh, the murderer teleported. (laughs) I love how he shoots the person and then stabs the person. This serial killer we've got here. Oh - and I accidentally stabbed her by accident. Look out for this. OW! (laughs) I just got her in the side a little bit. So much ketchup was wasted making this movie. And a little flash of my kappa pants. So cool. Oh, here we go. "The Madness of Matthew Swiatczak." This was my lounge table. And here's the plot. "One FAITHFUL day - " (laughs) Think that was meant to

say "fateful." I love how we give away the whole plot, the motive, and the killer before the film's even started. This is progressive filmmaking, isn't it. Right, okay, scene two. We're about to go into my parents' lounge, which is the police interrogation. There's my friend Phil. And I'm about to enter to give a stellar acting performance as someone that's very sad their friend died. ANYA: Phil! The detective's here! P: Here we go. "Phil, the detective's here!" That was Anya's voice. YOUNG PHI

L: Hi. DETECTIVE RYAN: Hello, Phil. P: I'm sitting down... D. R.: I'm Detective Ryan. I'm here to ask you a few...questions. YOUNG PHIL: Who could do such a...horrible thing? P: (laughing) Y. P.: She was one of my best friends and...now she's gone. P: Emotional acting from me there! D. R.: ...stab herself repeatedly in the back? Y. P.: No, she didn't. D. R.: You do realize that you're our prime suspect. P: That was the fastest police interview of all time in my parents' lounge. Also, that police

pad is my mum's old autograph book. Y. P.: ...the person who killed her. P: Another pointless scene. Here's Matt. And me in Adidas popper pants! Amazing. Is this film sponsored by Umbro? He's wearing Umbro as well. I'm playing Rayman. I don't really understand what this scene was for... MATT: Bye. Y. P.: Bye. P: ...But I'm about to leave the room. Look at that TV! It looks so old. Okay, pause. You may be wondering "What are you wearing here, Phil?!" My mum wouldn't let me wear any clothes that

were nice 'cause I was gonna get them covered in ketchup. So that is a backwards Wallace and Gromit T-shirt that's been turned inside out. ('90s telephone ring) What is that computer?! Y. P.: Hello? CREEPY VOICE: Hello, SIDNEY. Y. P.: I'm sorry, I think you've got the wrong number. CREEPY VOICE: Oh. Sorry. P: That was a good Scream reference! I liked that. Oh, typing away... ('90s telephone ring) Yellow keyboard... Oh no! I think my dad still has that office chair. Get a new office chair, Dad! C

. V.: Do you wanna DIE tonight? P: Just don't care. Just put the phone down. ('90s telephone ring) Oop, more phone calls! Y. P.: Hello? C. V.: Hang up on me again and I'll gut you like a fish! P: That's a bit violent. Y. P.: Please, leave me alone! What do you want? P: (laughs) ACTING! (imitates Northern accent) "Leeive me aloone, wat do yu wunt???" Okay, I'm looking on the balcony... Uh-oh, looks like Phil's in danger! (loud thump) The killer can fly! Oh, here we go. We're leading up to my deat

h scene now. (somber music) Run, Phil! Ruuuuun!! Okay, there's some weird editing mistakes right now. This is because my brother and I edited this without a computer. We actually put tape together to make this all work. This weird thing that I'm climbing on was at the end of the road, and me and my friends called it "The Pump," and we had loads of secret meetings on it and it made strange noises. Probably got radiation poisoning from it. But...worth it. Right, okay, let's watch me die. Y. P.: Wh

o are you?! P: (laughs) Great acting. Y. P.: (squeaks) P: Nooooooo! The ketchup! I actually hurt my arm falling off that thing. It's what I do for the art. Oop, checked I was dead. HE TOOK OFF THE MASKKKKK! Intense death scene. Okay, the killer Matt is about to enter the scene. M: Yoooooooo! P: It's so funny how we all had super high-pitched and unbroken voices while he looked and acted like a sixteen-year-old. I was so jealous! He's in my parents' conservatory. (laughs) That floor shuffle. Anot

her super-quick interrogation is here. M: (sobs) I think it was my mum. P: "It was my mum." (laughs) I don't get if these people are meant to be adults or kids. So we've got a private investigator, but he's gotta go home for tea with his mum. Uh-oh! C. V.: Hello, deeeeetective. P: Drama is about to happen. C. V.: Come outside and find out. (intense music) P: Intense music! (intense music) P: Dun dun dunnnnnnn. The neighbors were so confused when they were looking out the window. He's got a littl

e cap gun that we bought from a joke shop. It'd be kind of weird if you didn't know what was happening. This is leading to the epic fight scene. Which took place on a different day. And here's the big reveal, as if you didn't know who was the killer anyway. Oop! These are better stunts than Kill Bill! (laughs) I think they were just actually fighting at this point. (intense music) Oh - a kick to the back - (intense music) This looks pretty good! I believe those punches! But there's suddenly a co

ntinuity error there. (intense music) Whooooooa! (intense music) We spent an hour looking for his knife and we never found it. Oh no! Oh no, he's dead! He's shooting...the stab wound. A million times. It looks like the gun is firing ketchup. Is he gonna get away with it though, guys? Yeahhhh! Epic twist! (intense music) This is better than most films nowadays. (intense music) He died as well. (intense music) Wow. That was an abrupt ending. Y. P.: (helium voice) Thank you for watching. The end. P

: Awwwww! I had just sucked some helium out of a balloon then, so my voice was higher than it even normally is. So that's it! Give this video a thumbs up to unlock some secret outtakes! Quick! Three... Two... One... Booo! (dramatic music) D. R.: Why would she walk through the woods? Y. P.: There's a shortcut to her house and she was already a bit late. D. R.: What had you been doing with her? (both crack up) (catchy music) M: Right, thanks for showing me around. I have to go now. Y. P.: Okay, se

e ya. (weird noise) (all laugh) Y. P.: Ow! UNKNOWN: Blood! We need blood! C. V.: Come outside and find out! D. R.: Why? Whyyyyyy? UNKNOWN: Two. One. Action! (laughing in background) (laughing) P: And that's it! I hope you enjoyed this little video adventure and I will see you very soon! Goodbyeeee!