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Series 16, Episode 7 - 'I’m Off to Find a Robin.' | Full Episode | Taskmaster

There are some tricky dilemmas for the quintet of courageous contestants as the rush to wins Greg Davies’s golden head hots up. Lucy Beaumont wonders if she should risk flicking a forbidden switch, Julian Clary wonders if he needs more than one pie, and Sue Perkins wonders if a deer head is preferable to a boundary line. Alex Horne makes copious notes as Susan Wokoma performs some interpretive dance and Sam Campbell rips off his own head. ------------ Follow the show at http://www.twitter.com/taskmaster Become a fan at https://www.facebook.com/officialtaskmaster Buy Taskmaster merch: https://taskmasterstore.com/ ------------ In this Broadcast Award-winning, BAFTA and Emmy Award-nominated entertainment show, Taskmaster tyrant Greg Davies (Man Down, Cuckoo), with the help of his loyal assistant Alex Horne (The Horne Section and the show’s creator), sets out to test the wiles, wit and wisdom of five hyper-competitive comedians. Comedians that have risked life, limb, and dignity in the hope of making the Taskmaster proud so far include: Frank Skinner (The Frank Skinner Show), Mel Giedroyc (The Great British Bake Off), Romesh Ranganathan (Asian Provocateur), Hugh Dennis (Outnumbered), Sally Phillips (Bridget Jones’ Diary), Rose Matafeo (Edinburgh Comedy Award Winner 2018), and Russell Howard (The Russell Howard Hour). Unaware of what awaits them in each wax-sealed envelope, only one competitor can become the victorious owner of His Royal Task-ness’ golden head and be crowned the next Taskmaster Champion.

Taskmaster

5 months ago

[Music] [Applause] [Music] good [Music] evening I TR it R what have I created and we [Applause] lost hello thank you welcome to Taskmaster I'm Greg Davis and I have a schmoger board of tasks for you from a wondrous gang of loons and if that's not enough I've also got a second camera trained on me at all times felt cute might delete later we are tick deep in the competition so let's crack on please welcome Julian Clary Lucy bman Sam Campbell super kins and suzan wakoma and next to me a man who to
ld me that if he sees the pilot of any plane he boards is a woman he immediately leaves Because he believes and I quote that their concentration spans and motor skills are not suited to the job hi there thank you for my introduction welcome well I do worry about these bits Greg I worry that sometimes they create an atmosphere that isn't uh entirely Pleasant or useful for the show they do I'm worried that I've created a rod for my own back would you like to see it yeah I've created a rod for a ro
d I created a rod for my own back and then I talked about this the rod in the setup so what's the punch line something that hook I yeah oh I think I've got a bite or I think I've got a bites time yeah have you had Botox well first first is a straight yes or no there definite no but why would you ask cuz I just in the light I can see how smooth it it all is I'm young never used to be SM I'm a lot like dead you had some fillers or something no on we go with a prize T well Greg they've been asked t
o bring in the thing that is most guaranteed to make you grown oh oh dear the potential for some awful things is high the thing most guaranteed to make you grown in Greg's opinion gets the big five and the winner is going to Gran their way home with five grown worthy things oh oh God I mean the chances of these not being sexual based on what I've seen from these people so are zero I'd be less surprised than I was when I found out Alex's that cosmetic surgery Hi Sam what thing have you brought in
that makes you grown oh this thing is disgusting let's have a look at it it's a toothbrush oh that's against God oh there's a lot going on there isn't there I can barely look at this thing it's just don't you find that just really groy I think I'm groing because I'm so bemused by you than up thanks all right Lucy it's a ser thing okay um it's a lesson in the importance of cartilage taking the form of this skeleton so it's pointing obviously to the areas that have cartilage why is this supposed
to make me grown if you don't have cartilage you you'll Gran when you bend and lift and giving a gift to whoever wins to say look after look after your C and how do we look after our cartilage don't I mean both of them have made me grow so I suppose yeah successful so far okay hello Julian hello um what have you brought in that might make one grown oh it's so awful this um every year for my birthday my husband goes into a shop and asks them for the most hideous thing they've got on sale right an
d this is what he got me a couple of years ago and I every time I look at it I Gran it's so awful someone said it looks like Alex without his beard that's he's got a normal width neck it does make me grown every time I see it which is quite often but you can't bring yourself to throw it away because you're this is the golden opportunity to pass it on good hello Sue hello what have you brought in that might make a man or a woman grown I thought what would be the best way to make everyone grown I
thought well maybe if I asked an authority figure and so I asked the king of the bird men and he said yes I've got a voice that could stun a goat from over a mile away and when I ask for a loud noise it gets done just ask the wing Birdman Brian blessed you groan like your life depends on it come on come on Gro you bastards come on the full recording is on this memory stick you've really out done yourself there Perkins that's a me that is stupendous Susan oh traditionally this is not your stronge
st round no and you're following a recording of Brian blessed good luck as Greg so kindly said um I uh have been performing quite poorly when it comes to the prizes and here are a few of the prizes that's actually very good one big present to make you grown so if you collected these from the previous winners of the show yes I have they're all so that all these guys actually gave them back to me that's very good right I'm going to give out some quick points all right then who is the least likely
to make you grown well I'm not going to give anyone one point CU I liked all of them so that's good isn't it I'm going to give Sam and Lucy two points and I'll tell you why it's because it was their explanation that made me Gran not the item right two points each well done yeah that's good isn't it um I'm going to give I'm going to give Julian three points ask me why why are you going to give Julian three because that thing's awful it does make me grown but the sentiment behind it is rather love
ly I think and um so I'm sort of not giving him too many points to celebrate his wonderful marriage there's a logic there somewhere okay I'm going to give Susan because my God she's had a nightmare in this series I'm going to give her four points for her very clever idea of getting her prizes back putting them all together and of course Brian blessed will get the Five Points there we go it's five points to perin yeah right let's stop talking about cosmetic surgery and let the tasking commence bu
t be warned it's a Minefield out there Greg hello can I come in please do this looks fish all these belts oh that says Don't on it but I do I want to I won't oh piss it hang on right I found some little bits of paper that say vibration danger big light leaves sound UV light smoke vibration an some's party do whatever you like with these switches for 5 minutes okay you will then do a task in the lab for 5 minutes all right the conditions in the lab will change according to when you switch the swi
tches in here so there's a cause and effect situation the annoying thing is I don't know what the switches do I have told you what the switches do it's all on those labels your time starts when Alex is confident you understand the task confident and Alex two words one doesn't associate I wonder what the task is what do we put in there leaves leaves surely that's the main switch I expect danger is that one I don't know I don't think I trust you what's that one I don't know what that one is so lik
e with this what's the point of like trying to like be will be I really think piss it is an underrated exclamation I really enjoy piss it it is Lovely isn't it it's nice it's harmless it's warm the task as far as I can work out before we get on with it's largely arbitrary that they don't know which label goes with which switch bit like giving a toy to a child and saying don't play with that for 5 minutes yeah and probably they all did let's crack on yeah okay get ready Greg here they all are fli
cking themselves silly I'm you understand the task your time starts now A B leaves if I leave it under leaves keep coming depends if it is leaves of course of course yeah and turn it off again right that one's already on so I'll don't turn that one [Music] off I mean that's danger right there that nearly took my hand off well it does say don't I mean lights they not going to bother me are they I'm going to give myself a bit of time once I'm in there just to walk [Music] around BL it's all happen
ing this one that one all right now we're going to G up wait a second would you it wasn't a very long rest to have a bit of this one but don't what though I don't like I going up upside down spiders and hot dogs you know the ones in tins like you know if you pull cotton worldart FK music I don't like ice cubes what if that's leaves I've been denied the pleasure of leaves 30 seconds how almost done 3 [Music] seconds okay I'll see you in the lab Sam well yeah great thank you what have I done oh oh
dear what have I done what have you done julan you think well we just didn't know you know it's was quite a long yet across the series you see a very intelligent man to me and yet you spent a long time flicking those switches on and off well there was nothing else to do there was no cheery chat from Alex no it never is well Sam said I want to buy myself some time once I'm in there to mug around yeah it is about that in a way do you know when two Samurai encounter this is real yeah when they enc
ounter each other they like do you know what I mean and the first one to move will often be slain and also a samurai can tell if he will defeat another Samurai just by watching them make a cup of tea because they're like they see how effective they are I've moved I'm I'm happy to be slay just to get out of this chat what's next Alex here are Sam and Susan and the results of their switching my God so you've decided oh my God yeah you've decided the conditions for this task so yeah I'm scared what
happens in here is all your fault okay feet close together please why it's important that's not good for balance no balance the most T's on the shelves so these are the t's okay oh you must stand on the platform throughout the task you have 5 minutes your time starts when Alex is confident you understand the task where are the golf teties here where are the shelves here I'm going to start the clock now absolutely [Music] terrified you like it my method was kind of doing everything at once so I
guess everything wild will [Music] happen samle samble samble samble why is it saying my name well you switch the sound button I can't work under these conditions oh my God sble sble this insan no how what time are we up to uh You've Got 2 minutes 50 left no teas yet can you remember what you did now in the oh did this is when I have a break yes right fine well then this is the most that I'm going to get on oh yeah it was only like 30 seconds wasn't it 20 Sam cell Sam tumble I mean how is that f
alling off even through that when you turned on the vibration switch now I know I shouldn't have touched any of the bloody switches that's going to ruin it s TBO s tble s tble that was really [Music] tough I think that pretty bloody good I think that being jiggled around on a vibrating platform it sort of Suits You Yes does that make sense you're not the first person to how many did she like well we saw just two but she did realize halfway through if she hadn't pressed any of the switches the T
the conditions would have been perfect and that's sort of key to this really if they'd not flicked any switches yeah just chilled out s actually did pretty well right well he created he did all of his flicking in a short period of time he did well despite that I'd say so he created a method of balancing the te's within a task which was balancing on it and he also balanced a bowl on the bottom of the shell so I don't if that counts I thought that creation was legit oh okay well then he I thought
sort of 87 I suppose wait wait wait wait wait really wow I know yeah I guess I'll take 87 yeah here is everyone else the time starts now start with a B [Music] leaves immediately with the leaves oh they see oh it was leaves it was leaves it was leaves I need to o oh say hell sorry please oh for God's sake superin super oh I don't want to listen to that Perkins no I don't want to listen to that Su Perkins Su Perkins I just perin super Perkins don't make me in the darkness to my own name don't lik
e UV light very much my mom thinks it was because I was in an incubator to help me grow super Perkins yeah Su Perkins yeah Su Perkins yeah oh and we're done can you stop me vibrating yeah thank you Julian thank you goodbye Sue that sounded very final and after what I've done in this room I don't pay me I'm so sorry for everyone did you enjoy that Tas J I did quite and it was very sensory wasn't it with all the lights and the moov it was better than some I've sat through anyway a slight issue wit
h Julian which we didn't really show there but the vibration machine it wouldn't turn off afterwards so remember you were on it for another minute after get your Thrills where you can at my soe you said in my opinion the greatest thing that's ever been said on this show please don't make me fart in the dark listening to my own name can I ask you about Sue's technique of balance they're not balanced you poked them through the Shelf I was really desperate at that point CU but yeah I know cuz the y
eah but is it more balanced than me just putting a bowl on a table yeah you did allow 87 from Sam in a point on the bottom shelf oh no I wasn't allowing that I was allowing sorry there's been some confusion ah I was allowing his um system of hanging things a sorry now I feel really bad no yeah you've really Sam over there yeah you're pretty good at sticking things into other places knives into bags it's balance man so we're saying that Sue didn't balance any te I'm afraid we are because they wer
e quite clearly pushed through the shelf that is very harsh but I accept it always I should also tell you then that Julian did manage to balance nine te's on his shelves Lucy 19 wow what we haven't seen yet is the don't switch danger did go with don't should we see what the danger switch did yes please okay good luck everyone here we go I've spent however long just trying to avoid that button that's all I've thought about for the moment I've walked in I mean I I've been brought up well if someth
ing tells me not to touch it I'm not going to touch it right I'm going to start the task now I can't say I wasn't warned still got 1 minute 45 oh I'm going to go for this one how much danger can I enure 10 seconds worth well you have now 10 seconds left 5 seconds left [Music] L you want me to press the button you can't now unfortunately oh get but I'm going to go for this one do you know I was 10 seconds away from avoiding my baser instincts and I failed oh I really like it when you're disappoin
ted in US is that something something wrong with it well we weren't to know that was going to happen where we we did say don't yeah heartbreaking but good news to Old Lucy yes yeah I think she only didn't press it because she ran out of time she wanted to no I I wasn't going to no no you're a well behaved child I had to be you yeah oh you me to my mom was incredibly violent does all that leave us well it means that no one gets any points they're all disqualified except for Lucy Bowman who gets F
ive Points let's have a look at our scoreboard can we we can and unsurprisingly Lucy's in the lead with seven points well done Lucy let another one please yes in your face [Music] Greg [Music] sorry I didn't mean to kick the do sorry what lcks already this is my favorite yeah me too I've always wanted to be a clown mixed emotions mainly Joy oh that's not edible now fear any sign of that secret task yet oh yeah pie Wayne in the face I know who Wayne is do you know how many Wayne Rooney not him Wa
yne is outside the front door you may not touch Wayne nor step on the red green the red green now what the hell is that well you know a green yeah uh red one of them if you miss Wayne with a pie you must copy Wayne's dance moves for 10 seconds you must do not touch Wayne fastest wins your time starts when you open the front door who is Wayne do you know him I don't know well you can't touch any part of Wayne I need to make that clear I understand boundaries okay are these topups yeah okay not a
lot of faith in me then is there so do I take more than one pie I'm not likely to miss him I might I'll start the clock as soon as you open the door oh I see are you [Music] w that's weird oh yeah there he is in the face in the face all right that's [Music] [Applause] Millions I love this I sh it but I love it do you think sometimes you've lost some of the innocent Joy of childhood Julian because everybody else saw way and went started laughing and you went oh I see I was like I just a child I'm
AF remember as his common practice on task Master they can't stand on the red green so let's begin with Susie and Susanna so Wayne's going to be operated by a switch I've got to try and buy him a switch that's part of him that's his umbilic cord oh so I can't right that's not his face you must ask [Music] that 10 seconds that's 10 seconds be careful lovely thank you [Music] s so [Music] thank you too Wang's my favorite come on you little [Music] so oh [Music] Christ see anything now basically d
id this R okay yeah that's 10 seconds why did you have to pick this one after lunch come [Music] on oh I stop the clock did I get it [Music] yeah where is his umbilicus [Music] the naughty Flamingo is going to touch him naughty [Music] Flamingo little don't tou him come on naughty Flamingo you one more task to fulfill pen take it I stop the talk to it felt like it was a bit of a grudge for you in the end yeah I mean take it you little yeah there's only so much expressive dance I can do and I don
't have the training Susan's got training she's got you know the depth of experience she understands the biomechanics of the human form and art in general I was just very very frustrated and and then blind and then the naughty Flamingo spent my blood I like to see that sort of lateral flinking that the naughty Flamingo was allowed to touch Wayne yes yes the flamingo could touch Wayne so uh and did and did now Susan's told us repeatedly that she trained for three years at r i put it to you Susan
you weren't even attempting to pie Wayne for most of it you were just enjoying the interpretive dance yeah yeah at that I just was so as you say when I saw him it was so glorious and I'd sort of forgot the point of it yeah but I had a good time but the final ping was well it called us by surprise it called me by surprise three awful throws got nowhere near the fourth right in the face only took her a minute 39 wow and what about old Grudge Match over therey Flamingo lady yeah uh 7 minutes 25 wow
a little bit longer who's next okay we've seen the Su now for Julian Sam Lucy and Wayne again Julian that's not his face now you have to dance on the dancing map that's lovely [Music] Julian are you okay whoa what are you looking for something to get wear down that on his face no afraid [Music] not that's lovely Julian I'll go get another pie [Music] okay I bought this from home can I try and little sue [Music] him now you have to dance Julian [Music] my enthusiasm for the Dancing Yeah has rain
ed as it well it has [Music] rained pretty close [Music] can you hold the other end of that to trap him to trap what I'll do it on to oh no no no stop stop get this way I got him surely surely surely I got him I got him I got him I got him big time yep [Applause] well that's not my problem is it there you are I've sto the clock thank [Applause] [Music] you wa don't touch me with I've stopped the clock wow got him I got win Julian your prie Technique was Dreadful but I thought you were a very gra
ceful dancer oh thank you you're welcome anything else to say no I thought the most tramatic thing we were going to see in those attempts was Sam shouting I got him big time he had it too good for too long what turned out to be the most dramatic thing was Julian Clary taking Wayne down with the swing ball yeah that was the most dramatic thing Lucy did you think the task was touch Wayne as much as you can the swing ball touched him as well yeah oh you touched him big time how with your hands he t
ouched me you did touch Wayne and even if you didn't there was one other rule which you may have broken as well what you weren't allowed to touch the red green of course we always know that this is what happened well over oh no yeah but why are you zooming in on people's feet you sicker that's that's fetish that is I mean I am going to disqualify them but I also agree with them you are sick three of them very similar times uh Lucy actually 3 minutes 25 relevant as that is yeah Julian 332 Sam 3 m
inutes 40 so what that means is that Sue and Lucy don't get any points oh you you know what he's smiling he's hurting the reason you can't see he's hurting it does you do look like you have had to it does you look as smooth as fiberglass you he's right you look like a canoe right so Sam you get three points Julian four but Five Points goes to Susan W okay and now time for some product placement [Music] there's a bee out there is there yeah okay sorry shouldn't come in too big should I Perkins ho
rn oh god oh look it's me you both look great she's pretty um come on oh that's me with my eyes sh oh I do all my pictures like this I should have I never told you did I thank you put yourself somewhere within put yourself somewhere within the she's putting me put yourself if that started walking away three put yourself somewhere within the boundary put yourself somewhere within the boundary that's what my therapist says the person furthest from everyone else wins the people closest together bot
h lose two points also throughout the task you must behave really weirdly you must behave really weirdly really weirdly weirdly weirdly you have to tell me twice you've got a maximum of 10 minutes your time starts now so you've just got to think where would Su Perkins put Su Perkins well there's no way of knowing is there no no there isn't I think that some casts are unfairly stacked in favor of some contestants I mean I don't want to pick on people but I have written down that throughout this s
ometimes Lucy and Sam have come across as well I've written absolutely deranged okay the person furthest from everyone else wins but the two people closest together each lose two points ych here's what they did behave weirdly should I behave like you yes please ah [Music] help [Music] what I don't think anyone would be as obvious as I don't think anyone would be as obvious as [Music] this there's an argument for just popping myself just [Music] there where do you think Su Perkins is going to put
herself um there Sam Campbell um there Susan wakoma um there and Julian Clary that's quite near your one yeah why have you put it so close to Julian Clary I didn't know at the time move it again well you still got 8 minutes okay oh so say I tear his head off is that me then like what makes you you is where your head is or your heart or your it'll be a discussion what feel for some people this isn't weirdness this is exercise but to me that's about the weird as it [Music] gets I'm off fishing no
w so is it me that like fishing in this scenario don't you like fishing don't think or bird watching yes please I knew it was something boring right have to find a robin so where do you think Julian CLA is going to put himself B there s Campbell they're going to be doing this be [Music] oh I think it's now not near anybody oh could do that but will that be far enough away okay something about the boundary line right on the horns by the boundary line to a coin on you I'm going to coin toss [Music
] it thanks Sam heads for that Beer's head tails for on the boundary line Julian displays a continual and to me delightful contempt for Alex and this is the Zenith I think doing a insulting impression of him can I see it again yes there have nothing I can do to help you that enough yeah that was then before his [Laughter] surgery really creditable impression thank you just came over me's irritating isn't it what we need to know is what the coin decided for Sue of course before we do I'll I'll pr
aise you for a very creditable chewbaca impression okay so we're going to find out if Sue is near the tossed head this is it on the deer this is the Cliffhanger yeah it's all about the toss here we go heads for that Beer's head tails for on the boundary line [Applause] thank you Su thank [Music] you 8 cm 8 cm away so I mean I I knew what had happened and even I was swept Along by The Narrative the point was so cruel unfortunately the people closest to each other lost two points listen I'm just g
rateful I don't think I was disqualified in that round you weren't but you don't get any points because the uh distances from one another we can see it here Sam was 14.24% to Susan none to sue one to Julian four to Lucy and Five Points to Sam Campbell I think that's a very satisfactory outcome and it's progress Sue in a way because you've been disqualified for two but at least you've got no points this time let's have a glance at the scores it's tight except for Sue Lucy you're still in the lead
with 11 points okay everyone please make your R to Stage for final task of the [Music] show who we'll be reading the test Sue Perkins catch three balls on your head after you've caught a ball you must shout ball you may not step off your circles move your circles adjust your arms or touch the balls with your hands the fastest wins can we cooperate I guess we'll find out good luck on your marks get it and they're off well they immediately it was in there for a bit does that oh that's you're goin
g to get through oh we have a winner over here out you finished you're done you're finished it's [Applause] just very good sport come on there's coming there's one hang on there's one coming incoming say ball again ball and then say it one more time oh come down with that that's to the final scores could and join me that was exciting not for the first time the group confounded Us by working together they did one to sue two to Susan three to Lucy four to Sam five to Julian Clary well done so retr
ospective things in manyways we have three people in the '90s now in terms of the series Susan you are in last place or 92 95 Lucy 99 then jump up to Julian on 108 Sam's in the lead on 120 incredible yes what's the final scoreboard for today well it's a tight one uh Sue stranded on six the rest it goes 12 13 14 14 Lucy and Sam joint winners no so we have a tie break situation yes tiebreaks are very serious matters and they're going to settle this one right here on the studio floor in my drawer I
have two party poppers oh I don't like them what you going to do Sam and Lucy will fire their party poppers from their seated positions and the person who fires the contents of their party popper furthest winds simple as that we're all out of budget let see you ready three two one pop that's it I believe this is yours for the taking wow you're going to have to measure this thank you sir furthest spin 108 CM 123 CM re bont WS please go GI and gr not that so what have we learned today we've learn
ed the in a thousand years when the people of the future look back and somehow try to understand how our society worked what were we all about there is one thing alone that they will be sure of show them a picture of Sue Perkins and they'll all go oh yeah that's the lady who didn't like farting in the dark to the sounds of her own name only three episodes to go so let's appreciate tonight's winner once more it's Lucy B [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] for more Taskmaster subscrib
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