THE ZOMBIE KING | Full HORROR COMEDY Movie HD

uh uh hey uh oh oh boris of boris oy this is happening this  is happening boris idiot this is happening get down they'll see him up there no one can  see me i'm blending in blending in well you can see you're a [ __ ] park in warden of a  train boris get down they'll see you up there what the [ __ ] what do you think what is uh i really hate small people remember when i first saw you  i knew i'd be with you forever i don't think we should be walking the middle  of the road better to be hiding up

a bloody tree ha funny good one from you idiot look we saw them  go the other way so if any survivors come this way we'll meet them survivors people [ __ ] bastards  uh and what is it that were meant to have survived whatever they have and what's that what  the [ __ ] happening to everyone not a clue have you managed to survive no not to stay calm she was freaky the last time  what do we do we run right we run we can do i've only got three left three what what the [ __ ] are  you to do with tha

t put it away much we can outrun this one should they smell i'm tired of running  i'm knackered we've come probably out walking and she's not exactly moving her face and besides  she's on her own wait a minute i think that yeah that's the joneses girl mary no no no margaret  what yeah it is family drive a six-seat toyota gave a ticket last week it was double parked oh  shot this oh touchdown what the [ __ ] did you do that for minecraft was a waste the waist  that was perfect nailed it straight

between the eyes you just assaulted a little girl it  wasn't a little girl it was a zombie it was a little zombie and i [ __ ] nailed that [ __ ]  right in the face come on let's keep moving i'm gonna go and see if she's all right what  not very thick this could just be an infinity all the survivors we could meet up  with we end up being boris to the ball it could have been a sexy  girl or a cougar someone call we end up with boris they're [ __ ] it's  not that bad it's a parking warden more com

e on foreign where is it gone now oh i don't know let's  get back out in the open it's too dangerous where did you learn your survival skills i delivered  mail in newcastle when i first joined the service the service you mean the post  service you had a postal service you made it sound like you're in the bloody  essay yes no it didn't yes yeah did you plunker do you want me to tell you or not yeah all right  continue when you first joined the service did you have a number double up now you're ju

st taking  a piss oh yeah it's brilliant i do have a number actually one two seven four all right continue  when one two seven four first join the service i worked in newcastle on the estates and every  morning the kids will throw water bombs at me sounds terrifying dogs oh [ __ ] nice doggy scary worst of all turd attacks  what turd attacks war bombs filled with [ __ ] little soldiers are throwing  at me every morning i'm around i used to find solace on  the swings my special place yeah i learn

ed a thing or two by survival tactics oh yeah boom boom yeah it might not have been the sas but those  guys couldn't survive that jungle boris morris he's climbed another body tree  that's what we need to help lunch fire oh get over here oh no again she died peacefully he should be thankful thankful  thankful my wife is dead and it's my fault this way move move i may have watched one too many horror films i would say they were zombies you're a [ __ ]  genius aren't you shut up and keep moving wa

king zombies climb or open doors but do you  know anything about zombies no unfortunately there wasn't an option to take a gcse and out of  five zombies munch uh but there was one on how to be an [ __ ] and climb trees boris stop being  a pair of pricks will you stay alert this way foreign typical just when i need  a drink it's bloody closed spend all day in the pubs no i don't  dick it just the nights wait here empty but looks of things i gotta have here real  quick great this just keeps gettin

g better and better still can't get a signal wait this pub is  always busy and always from idiot parks in the road it's actually a perfect place to ticket on a  sunday you tick it on a sunday the law never rests even when god does the law you're not  the law you just give people tickets they uphold the law no you don't you're a cop  much leave it give me that thing there must be somebody around it can't be completely deserted  take a look around [ __ ] there's no one here it could be inside it's

the perfect place to  hold yourself up in a zombie apocalypse a pub piece of crap hey that cost me 50 quid yeah ain't  worth [ __ ] when it don't work you know i hate to admit it but munch bunch could be right there  could be people hold up in here that makes sense oh so we get the [ __ ] out here and find out  what's up yeah didn't work for him come on come on are you mental they're the only half  normal people within since we got here call them normal guys we need help over here or not i just

want to know  what the hell is going on look we're just trying to stay alive keep  moving and if we figure out what a [ __ ] hell is going on around here find somewhere safe  there's nowhere safe here somewhere must be what the [ __ ] is that come on i need to head back to the fields  now you stay with us don't slow us down no freaking way him going back there there's dead  people everywhere there's nowhere safe run here the government's close off the whole town  and the county borders cut off

our supplies no one's getting out of here alive they'll  kill anyone who tries the whole place is under quarantine have cages in like [ __ ]  animals the fields are our best bet come on stay if you want hold on how'd you know all this look i'll  explain back at camp okay i don't believe you fine good luck on your own move move it's not much further i swear there's  something moving in the bushes over there nah must have been the wind this silence  making me nervous yeah it's quite all right it's

too quiet next she's gonna say  i've got a bad feeling about this hold up guys that's the barn whose is it  oh i don't know maybe it's uh farmers well can we see if we can go inside  it's [ __ ] freezing do you think you might be around no it could be only people  live around it go and check it out go on it doesn't feel right you're just gonna [ __ ] stand there just undo it from that hope thing it's still [ __ ] heavy jesus christ hey munch neither [ __ ] oh [ __ ] hey chicks with sticks easy

okay are any of you  infected no for any of you no not but we don't have much hair it can  come in for a while if you want thanks guys guys it's okay can you just put all right  all right [ __ ] you now oh crap oh come on you zombie bastards  [ __ ] up that's your graves okay this place isn't safe no worries  there are too many of them so just keep the noise down at all times okay i want you all to leave now and him over there he's gonna end up getting us  all killed we agreed anyone in dangerou

s they leave in danger it's us who kept those zombies  out it was your guys who led the zombies here those zombies are most probably the  farmeris family they live here left here i knew the farmer and his family  i come up here to visit them look they're here now and it's not  them we got to be worried about if we can leave what are you going to do stay here don't think those zombies won't be back  because they will and what you're going to do then you're going to find them on your own yeah if 

we have to look we're just as scared as you guys fine but we'll leave first thing in the morning  i'll even go where there is no way out we know before the government sealed the area off loads  of people were still able to escape but we didn't get out did you try and get out i was in a car  with some friends yeah you see what happened they opened fire you did the army the primitives around the whole county  apparently it's a [ __ ] containment zone what could that happen what happened with foot 

and mouth disease there were cows that were quarantined yeah they were killed and burned just  for being in the infected area we're people and bollocks this is a load of bollocks  you think i'm making this up my friend's being shot in front of me and  climbing out a [ __ ] burning vehicle think i'm having a giggle in the countryside and this is  how i plan my [ __ ] vacation hey calm down look this is news for all of us there must be some  way over here well you can try but i don't think you'll

have much luck people can't let this  happen tell that to the concentration camp victims and the prisoners in guantanamo mobiles don't  work and the internet's down the internet's down all we can do is survive look let's just get some rest yeah i'm dying boris munch this is tara and tabitha an armed vera you uh mind if we have a look around  sure there's not much here thanks i'll talk like that wake up please funny doctor okay here's our food supplies is that it we've got quite a lot how did yo

u  get all that stuff that's how mia scott met 40 zombie bastards from  inside the bakery i work at it was horrible only popped out for a chocolate muffin it's none there you go mate thanks so much enjoy  i will have a nice day thank you bye the [ __ ] can someone call an ambulance someone say call an ambulance what the [ __ ] is  that i don't know she looks like she's [ __ ] dead that's mrs batesman we should go out there and help her  no neither of us are opening that door where were you simo

um i was just passing through  with some friends too our car got shot by the army but i managed to escape and  the shop found these guys and then when the army and the  zombies moved in we moved out did you have to kill any of  them yeah all killed a few no not killed knocked over hurt not  killed you don't stay down for long the dead are walking that's similar to my story no isn't it yeah it  is car accident zombie attack use me supplies to get by met you got moving i'm sorry but a milk car  is

not a car oh let the answer man tell his story um go on munch same [ __ ] different day then zombie attacked me hey go on not again epic fight ensues either victor high speed getaway a high-speed getaway on a  milk float all right don't get an erection you can give me a speeding ticket if you want  i don't do speeding tickets that's because you're not an officer of the law excuse  me his stories are making me rather moist epic crash and why did you crash because i saw  your mum through the curt

ains of a nearby house taking a [ __ ] on some bloke's chest no he didn't no you're right it couldn't have  been on that day she was being rimmed on that day remy please just finish your story quickly doubly epic fight scene oh [ __ ] this hello hello have a safe spot ate my  rations until i'd came by and saved me so you're the hero yeah no that's  much it's just being modest my story is one of survival good morning  mr thatcher how are you this morning it was only this morning i  noticed someth

ing was wrong terribly wrong looking back now it seems so  obvious how could i have missed it when i realized i stopped dead in my tracks something's wrong i got that feeling about this you didn't say that you know i did bollax all right maybe i'm just  colorizing the story a little go on i realize the job's witnesses leave this  one stuck in the envelope boxes as usual mrs thatcher the joker's witness has  not been around flowering this morning mrs thatcher what the [ __ ] yeah  i found munch f

ound boris up a tree and you guys that's enough stories for  now we need some rest before tomorrow tara you're on guard duty with me  let's all try and get some sleep well i never much like sleeping alone i'll always be with you you moved here to be with  me but with our english ways and always be with you because of that always we can't keep running forever if we stay  in one place the zombies will kill us we try to escape the army will kill us what  we need to do is we need to try and find a w

ay to tell people what's happening here  that's the last thing i care about yeah or you didn't see your friends being shot  down by the army the army killed my family i went to pay for petrol i just  kept running left the bodies behind why haven't you said anything until now can't even remember the last thing i said  to my mum there was screaming gunshots i just kept running none of us are lucky yeah when we first found you i thought  you'd just been attacked by zombies zombies the army above th

e same in my eyes  above the enemy yeah certainly seems that way status report id sierra bravo 247 come in continue 247. five male four female all  on route to location however all civilians are uninfected over continue to eradication  areas six nine semi's working for the army he's trying to take us some words of killed this stays between us for now all civilians are uninfected i repeat  all civilians are uninfected over 247 regardless are you out  of your mind i will not lead innocent civilian

s to their deaths i won't do  it failure to comply will result in termination uh okay follow neville ed we'll hold the  zombies off will we we'll help you no it's too dangerous we can hold our own  what are you waiting for get out there fine oh zombies way peace come on let's go go you should stay with her for a while hold get a priest for the body she's gone so what's the deal with him yeah they'll want to be  ghost riders he seems almost alive it's like his part human part walking dead might b

e abolished  then wherever he goes more undead follow so just best not get his attention yeah well we've got  it now yeah no thanks to you oh what's that what what is it oh i thought i saw something everyone stay alert you okay you okay fine  don't worry where there's one there'll be more there's more there's more so so you okay look i had some seriously [ __ ] up [ __ ] i don't like the look of that no me neither how  far is the shelter anyway just over the field there's a barn and a church  ho

uses a few fields further how do you know that dear oh i live close by or i did oh dad i was going to say i'm i'm not  going to be in for dinner tomorrow i'm going to hannah's that's right what what what dad dad tabitha is it far oh she like danny it's not slowing me down  okay we find shelter we stay here tonight doctor she's gone i'm so very sorry for your loss there's gotta  be something you can do there's nothing please she's dead she died peacefully you should be thankful anything could be

in there where are you going for us we said the plan wants  to go to the next safe location i don't call that safe the [ __ ] is wrong with you get back in  there we'll check it out what i was afraid of just wait here i don't think so we're in this  together remember avery often means stupidity look who's talking stop the cop like  we and just stay alert stay close boris this way you can leave your milk at my back  door if you'd like like a what you call gloves ah boys i can't hear anything she'

s gone come on oh it's okay come on ugh careful everything looks clear always does if there's anyone in there we get away quickly  get away where i wish one of us could answer them looks okay hell will rest upon your souls hell has been  raged is he pissed seven souls seven steps seven days to hell you see my child it's imminent we'll submit it what's imminent hell take it's the only this that can save you don't understand what are you on because i'm  having whatever you're having i'm on god oh

well we'll give that to this then who are you father  lawrence you i know all of you you're the dead what do you mean it's salt constables in the voodoo religion the dead can be  revived by a booker captures their souls their former bodies become the undead will  remain under the booker's control voodoo bollocks next i'll be talking about leprechauns  don't talk to me about bloody leprechauns oh lord what were you saying  about a booker please continue souls of the recently departed have seven d

ays  in limb the soul has seven steps to pass before resting passing the seven arch angels in passing  the seven steps your faith towards your next life is sealed and only then will your soul finally  rest seven souls must be collected you will call upon the controller of the dark spirit world  khalfu seven days before a dark where the bokker will hold the power of the seven arch angels  souls must be held upon earth for seven days at midnight on the seventh day the bocker  would own all the sou

ls of the dead even those who have passed seven stages the booker  becomes eternal reborn as the king of the undead the dead will rise closing the gap between hell uh walk with the undead on the 27th of october the seventh day that's  tomorrow how can we stop him and how can this save us voodoo legend says that the dead will  return to their graves when they're fed salt yes they don't tear your throat at first so the bucker  is actually a zombie king the zombie king feed him some salty fish and

chips job done the zombie  king isn't dead is he the blocker will only die when the seven souls have been released  from the bottle he holds around his neck i'll never get near him there's too many  zombies then the world will become undead we actually believe in this why not you've got  any better suggestions everyone's dying getting up and killing each other it doesn't get more  serious than that sounds far-fetched but i have to be honest with you the drunk priest with a  half-cock story sound

s like something to try the army aren't coming to save  us they're coming to kill us the only thing that makes any sense now is just  trying to get out of this madness this is madness you've got something better to do  i'll say we kick some somebody else let's kick some zombie ass complete this quest  and find something else to do with the rest of our days but this could be a virus or anything  which could be cured and then we'd all be okay yeah all right dorothy you click your red  shoes togeth

er and wait we're gonna kill some who's in look wait none of us have killed a  zombie before apart from edward the shotgun so what we need to do is we need to take it one  step at a time yet and you are going to have to prove to me that feeding zombie soul actually is  going to kill them when i said feeding i meant getting it into their bloodstream if you  want me to prove it bring me a [ __ ] zombie nfl every sunday you watch  american football me too go eagles wow it's dead totally dead the on

ly other way to kill them outright is with  a massive brain hemorrhage yeah that one i shot didn't get back up how do you know all this all  priests learn about the beliefs of other cultures voodoo is the particular favorite  of mine a shotgun to the head isn't any bible i ever saw no that's pure resident  evil the lord knows i love that game me too okay so we need to find weapons and get salt yeah  then kill some [ __ ] yeah and try and stay alive does anyone have a plan how to do all of that f

ather lawrence don't go in the shed this church is south western  river isn't it yeah but what does that mean it means we're back in my postcode just down the right are a couple of stores  one that would definitely have some more salt there's enough crucifixes here to keep those  zombies praying we don't get close to them but we don't have much salt true we use it sparingly and when  necessary until we get some more and while we're risking our next what  are these guys doing glad you asked time

munch you guys will need to get more weapons  there must be something in you surrounding you we can manage that but what about me and me okay  give me a moment danny yeah oh for [ __ ] sake i'm fine you need to stay here tabitha you need  to stay with her look you can stay here and make the place secure it's good thinking let's meet  back here in an hour we'll wait out the night plan for tomorrow then we bring the  pain and hopefully nothing will go wrong you should stay with her for a while hol

d get a priest for the body she's gone she is gone there's nothing that can be done hmm what i remember last it's a good  idea let's take what we can supplies guys burned it let's get some song get the hell out of here how do you think the other's  getting on hopefully better than us we take what we can okay i think it's empty of course  it's empty it's a [ __ ] shed you think some zombie went in there  looking for tools and locked himself in oh she keeps on death by shoe this is [ __ ]  ridicul

ous you're telling me oh a white cupboard what makes sense now well  bastard probably went in for one last shuffle before he died you [ __ ] serious well how  else would you explain it oh easy [ __ ] all for us to use for weapons in there unless lube  contains salt oh joe i was joking guys look that you work around here i deliver milk if they don't drink milk with all concern  of mine might have something we can use look at all those zombies heading towards it weird yeah weird weird it's  weird

that there's zombies at all you just hit a policeman you can let go now it's too dangerous let's get  back inside we haven't found anything there's nothing to [ __ ] fight thanks i know who you [ __ ] are and what you tried to do you're back just where's scott he didn't make it the simmer it got munched i'm cursed we are all past let's back  in the game the hour is almost upon us sean sweet we got the song yeah as much as  they had we didn't find anything in the shed yeah it was uh renovated ren

ovated do you guys  find anything in here yeah a few bits and bobs chris must have been stocking up himself he must have needed somewhere else to keep  it while his shed was out of action that's the place secure okay  everybody's latched down good guess we'll just have to wait out the night and at first light we attack where's  father lawrence i'm here children father's quite safe perhaps a good father can  help us with our plan of attack tomorrow okay like i spawn the zombie king  sure that's d

efeating no problem can we trust him we have no choice this is crazy when i first saw you i knew i'd be  with you forever i'd always be with you you moved here to be with me with our english because you never ways up and always be with you because of that always morning funny doctor doctor she's gone i'm so very sorry for your loss there's gotta  be something you can do there's nothing please she's dead she died peacefully you should be thankful thankful thankful my wife  is dead and it's my fau

lt you should stay with her for a while i'll get a priest for the body she's gone she is gone nothing that can be done there's always something that can be done managed to get you something from  the show you got me something yeah i thought you could use them sweet this is [ __ ] crazy remember stick to the plan guys it's a great plan that was a crap plan oh really well do you have  a better one taking a [ __ ] on a lesbian's chest while a [ __ ] tickles your testicles  with his tongue is a bett

er plan than that but we need to know what we're dealing  with better before we go back out there yeah i mean like what does this zombie king want you're all lambs to the slaughter i've had enough of this [ __ ] everyone's dying  everyone's wasted from the dead what the [ __ ] is going on give me my wife no no until you tell us  what the [ __ ] i you what the [ __ ] is going on fine but i have to pop to the  shed first real quick pray kel foo is a dark god of mayhem i thought you  only believed

in one god in the voodoo religion he's a dark god of mayhem that's it he's been  called upon by the zombie king to raise the dead but why would anyone want to raise the debt why would anyone do that may  i have my wine bag no fine samuel peters was a member of my community he was a good and honest man he became a lost soul  his struggle to deal with the loss of his wife led him towards a darkened path his obsession  with her led him to having her ashes scattered by the lake outside a temple a te

mple with its  own dark past a secret location only he and i know the whereabouts of do you mean the temple  across from here how do you know where it is because i looked out from the church and i  saw it how do you know where it is because i i knew what he was doing and tried to stop him his infatuation with her led him  to dabble in the dark art of voodoo he became unrecognizable to me the  man i once knew was no longer there the presence of something more evil  than i had ever encountered bef

ore was without doubt in that room with us was in the room yes i heard them  speak why didn't you stop this earlier can i have my wine back now  please if you knew this was going to happen then why didn't you do  it i didn't expect it to bloody work i'm giving my blood sacrifice be your servant to summon you as my master bring fire to you bring me forth to bring another back give  me your reasons for this worthwhile attack i don't mean no offense or harm not given yes i'll bring this soul back f

rom hell from the world it originally fell  it may be painful and it will be but my wife say no more hold seven souls for seven days  and let me work on their evil just ways crazy voodoo [ __ ] yeah and we're  all about to die because of it nice how can we stop them is it even possible zombies will  descend upon the church tonight and in the morning the bocker samuel peters samuel peters  gay name finalize he's packed with khao fool on the light ball on the seventh day the moon  will turn comple

tely red and the dead will rise and then there'll be no stopping them can't  we just try and sneak up on this zombie king he'll know you're killing his  zombies he'll feel it and then there'll be a whole army of zombies guiding  him so basically what you're saying is it's time for an all-out attack the name  of the father the son of the holy spirit next stick together the door walk with me in allegiance  on the day of the dark moon fasting just a few hours and you will have your way i'm appeasin

g me well but there  is something you forgot to tell i'm so you shall have both back that's  not fair also i'll take your souls remember this the first seven who were raised  from the dead they are the most powerful i wouldn't risk getting too close so he's at the 60. boom come on edward it's time to be the hero good enough time for one more trip god bless your son inside now hear me but i am call fool  you're dead have deserted you now and pathetic uh um another michelle well we did it no one w

ill ever believe us you might  when things go back to normal we'll see you have got to be [ __ ]  kidding me oh [ __ ] your way no there's more of them they're  covered in blood it must be zombies so welcome to hell this is earth yeah i guess hell on earth  what i know i know seven souls seven days yeah but cow food closed the  gates of hell tried to stop him i failed i guess the dead are just gonna have to walk the  living plane because they have nowhere else to go what about the people that ar

e still alive it's  gonna have to deal while the war wages on i guess between who kaufu and the army the  undead yeah it's gonna be badass so we're dead yep just gotta choose your side what  did i tell you man this voodoo [ __ ] is badass so you