恶搞之家：皮特励志减肥秒变大长腿，现代科技对战复古农村

why yes they do oh oh my god you're a monster come back my legs are shave like a little girl 话说当年元格镇游乐园 新建成了一座超大的过山车 喜欢搞事的皮特 他们自然不可能放过这么好玩的东西 但问题是人家过山车有体重限制 不许皮特上去游玩 朋友们都劝他赶紧减肥一下 就给皮特整懵了 夸哥他们给他列出了很多减肥方法 而他也是对天发誓必须瘦下来 然后去玩过山车 最起码受到跟他大姨妈似的 hey baby do those legs go all the way up why yes they do ah oh my god you're a monster come back my legs are shave like a little girl 既然有了目标和动力 那第一步就得先从饮食开始改变 皮特尝试通过吃年糕来改善饮食结构 但他毕竟是个美国人 压根儿就吃不惯亚洲的食物 差点就把自己给硬生生噎死 既然改变饮食不行 那就只能控制进食了 夸哥为了训练皮特的意志力 特意烤了一个香喷喷的开 放在窗台上

以此来提高皮特对美食的抵抗力 too hard all right over there ha ha i know you down no no you can't go in there no no stay out of it it's my special area ah ah ah no stop i'm saying no ah what kind of pie is this peter it's making me watch 经过一段时间的训练之后 皮特已经从另一个层面上瘦了下来 虽然有点自欺欺人的嫌疑 但只要能骗过售票员就可以了 就这样 皮特再次来到过山车排队 处在他那妖娆身姿的迷惑下 安全员的眼睛终于被闪瞎了 当即就把他放了过去 然而他毕竟不是真的瘦了下来 倒霉的事情很快就要来 well this has given me a lot to think about my son is dead 搞砸了的皮特一家人开车往家赶 兴许是老天在惩罚他 汽车因为水箱问题在半路抛锚了 而且现在已经临近周五晚上 修理店早就下班了 想找人维修都没办法 但好在天无绝人之路 附近正巧有

一个村子 他们可以在这里住两天 等周一的时候再找人修车 虽然这里的人打扮很奇怪 但总体还是挺热情的 村子里的人给他们安排了干净舒适的客房 一切看起来还是挺不错的 不过没有电和网络 让梅根多少有点无法接受 但是村子里的一个小帅哥自愿给他当向导 perhaps i could show you around ok 你看看没跟这个花痴样 要不是有这么多人在他早就扑上去抱着啃了 不过话说回来 小伙说是当相 但村子里也没有什么好玩的东西 要么在干活 要么看别人干活 就连他有时候都觉得这里的生活很无聊 二人就这么转了一天 临别之际 小伙对梅根深情表白 说她是自己见过最迷人的女孩 梅根也是含蓄的回应 把自己的手机送给小伙 里面有自己最喜欢的歌单 eli what are you doing with that outsider her name is meg father and i was just showing her our community you stay away from her she will try to corrupt you that is not true father

meg is wonderful she is an outsider she does not follow the one true path you are not to see this girl again do you understand i forbid it 每根伤心的哭着返回房间 路易斯见状赶紧问到底怎么 梅根抽噎着说 小虎的父亲不许他再去见他的儿子 自己的爱情就这么夭折 而且他还说他是扫把星 完全就是在侮辱他的人格 路易斯本想去找小伙的父亲聊一聊 但布莱恩说 这里的人是不会听女人说话的 他们是父权社会 而他们家唯一可以出面的就只有皮特 皮特本来是不想去的 但看着可怜兮兮的梅根最终还是答应了下来 只不过他不敢保证结果 只能尽力尝试一下 转天上午 皮特找到小伙父亲 希望他可以正视两个年轻人的爱情 并且祝福他们 他保证梅根不会让小伙堕落 皮特说的挺客气 但小伙父亲就是油盐不进 死活不同意小伙跟村子以外的人交往 皮特为了改变他的看法 特意给人家放摇滚乐 只不过看着他那像傻子一样的动作 小伙父亲更坚定了自己的想法 让他全家人都赶紧滚出村子 就这样 当皮特回到房间后 梅根本

以为他成功的说服了小伙父亲 但没想到 rib what's going on here your family must leave our community and return to the outside world 既然自己不受欢迎 那也只能离开这里 可他们的车已经抛锚了 无法离开 修好之前哪都去不了 小伙父亲表示 这不是大问题 他早就给他们准备好了 随后两匹马便拉着抛锚的车缓缓走来 格里芬一家 这下就不得不离开这里 回家的路上 梅根哭的是伤心欲绝 撕心裂肺 皮特死了 他都不一定有这么伤心 然而天无绝人之路 此时一个熟悉的声音传来 小伙竟然偷偷跟了上来 i could not let you leave without me me i love you i love you too 小伙虽然逃离了村子 但路易斯觉得逃跑并不是什么好办法 而且小伙的父亲是不会轻易放过 他们 很快就在格里芬加下了战书 故意挑衅格里芬家 现在即使路易斯劝皮特把小伙送回去都不好使 因为他的怒气值已经叠满了 对方明显是来挑衅的 他不能就这么认怂 于是打电话给老乔 让他带上最先进的武器装备 一起平了那个村

子 就这样 元阁镇三剑客全副武装 准备踏平村子 而村民这边也是丝毫不怂 早就做好了迎战的准备 apples fire ah ah oh damn it i'm bleeding up now it's an aids quick sui miss you furry little weirdos 好家伙 当年秦始皇要是能找他们修长城的话 早就修到比邻星上去了 忍无可忍的皮特准备跟对面的老家伙单挑 就在这关键时刻 小伙和梅根及时赶到 分别阻止了自己的父亲 小伙说他了解父亲的苦心 担心外界的诱惑会让他堕落 但现在看看父亲自己 他才是让自己堕落的那个人 小伙父亲这是恍然大悟 儿子说的是对的 他才是那个教坏儿子的人 即便他的初心是想保护儿子 但现在看来 让他自己去选择人生或许更好一点 i choose to stay here what what meg you are the most beautiful woman i will ever know you have shown me so many wondrous things that have opened my eyes to t

he world beyond my home but this is where i belong i'm sorry if this upsets you meg i love you ela i'll always love you if this is what you have to do then all i can say is i'll never forget you ok 今天的故事就到这里 大家有什么想说的 可以点个关注 留言互动 爱你们哟 么么哒 there it is you guys the best roller coaster in ala khag the league of extraordinary gentleman the ryan you know i think they kind of figured that movie was going to turn out to be big and it was oh come on lawit would be awesome it simulates all the fun of of u

m what was it now it was like a like a tall guy in a black hat and a cape perception yeah yeah and there was the guy with the mask who wore a mask and one guy had an ebra yeah and i believe he opened at one point yeah and it wasn't overly long yeah not not overly long sorry sir there's a weight limit on this coaster oh really what's your limit the rule is you can't look hilarious on this motor scooter ha ha ha i'm sorry there's just no way big news out of six flags columbus today as they unveil

what promises to be the largest roller coaster in the united states that's right choice they call it the holocaust the ride has several jewish groups up in arms as they go over the first rise ha ha no i'm i'm kidding there they're actually pretty upset wo i had heard about the holocaust but i never believed it til right now i have to ride that ride peter come on then i gonna let you ride that ride either you're overweight yeah if you want to ride that roller coaster you're gonna have to go on a

diet all right well howat work well i suppose you can start by keeping a food journal like quagmire does yeah in fact i got it right here today i ate peaches ginger honey candy olive you know what this is the wrong list all right if that's what it takes to ride get ri i am going on a diet and i'm not stop until i look as good as my great art legs go all the way up griffin hey baby do those legs go all the way up why yes they do ah oh my god you're a monster come back my legs are shave like a lit

tle girl hey what do you got there appeter rice cakes never had one but somebody told me this is a really good way to statute diet who who could think of such a heart of a thing ha ha ha we know you not like rice cake bailey face no one like vice cakes all right paid of the most important thing when you're on a diet is willpower now i'm gonna put this steaming pie on the window siled to cool now no matter how many beckoning fingers that steam morphs into or how badly it tries to sneak its way up

your nose i want you to resist the urge to levitate off the ground and float towards the pie doesn't seem too hard all right go stand over there i know you down no no you can't go in there no no stay out of it it's my special area ah ah ah now stop i'm saying now ah what kind of pie is this peter it's making me watch pia i don't understand what we have to drive all the way to ohio to write a stupid roller coasta yeah besides there's still not gonna let you on you haven't actually lost any weigh

t oh i think my life and figure would suggest otherwise a girl is not a substitute for weight loss peter hey i'm riding at roller coaster and that's all there is to it now let's get out of here this thing squishing my organs around there it is kids columbus ohio now i remember there are no rules about who can wear stretch pants here so you're gonna see some pretty shocking things brian is this our vacation yeah oh are we trash ka oh i'm sorry sir you're too fat to write the coaster oh darn it ye

ah i want you go back to phippo hey hey hey hey hey how about me share am i too fat to write no you don't seem to be yeah yeah yeah well you got to hand it to him he had a dream and he made it happen that's what the right brothers did so how's your boyfriend or fail doing ex boyfriend if you don't mind and who pairs he's probably often a barn somewhere working on a contraption with that weird brother of his is ha ha ha ha ha ha bitch you're so pretty i miss you well this has given me a lot to th

ink about my son is dead we are going to have to send that family money i know we are mom i'm hungry can we stop and get some food well i guess it is close in a time chris do it you hungry what are you looking at you gonna propose what yeah exactly what i front what the hell looks like it's the radiator well we're just gonna have to find a local mechanic on a friday evening i don't think we're gonna have any luck till monday besides probably not a lot of mechanics around here so we're stuck here

hellas you see that burn out there you know who was built pie bye i ma nwell i guess we better see if there's a hotel is something i can't believe was stuck in amish country yeah i thought something was a miss hey uh excuse me fella yeah we're looking for a room are ye indeed outsiders we do not see many of your folk in these parts but we welcome all of god's children in their hour of need well actually i think we need it for more than an hour or do we write lai shi i do not last very long oh c

reepy what's this is an amish doll they're not allowed to have faces has something to do with vanity looks like a cross dressing cobra commander who cobra commander is the head of cobra the bad guys from gi ju the guys who oddly shout the name of their terrorist organization as they attacking guys we're under attack by who i don't know oh it's cobra oh of course look they have the pictures of the snakes on their plane duke what have i been saying for years what makes a good terrorist organizatio

n brand recognition brand recognition mom i can't stay here there's no electricity no telephones it's horrible excuse me i assure you our community is quite pleasant perhaps i could show thearound okay my name is eli my parents run the in if there's anything we can do to make your room more plane do not be afraid to ask will be all right hotel in amish country can't be any worse and staying in a youth hostile hi like a room preferably one where i have to sleep with my bag tape to my body we have

one where some italian backpackers have laid out every item of clothing they own on all of the beds oh perfect will my bunk mates be constantly talking about me in a foreign language yes they will sir oh great also i'm gonna have some male delivered here and i wanted to sit in that box for four years oh and what street is the bathroom on so what do you do for fun around here we do chores and we watch other people do chores sounds kind of boring well as there are times when i feel as if there wa

s much of life i am missing yeah i be tough having no technology i don't think i could live without my iphone you have an iphone yeah you've heard of it yes but only because people sometimes searched for amish farms on their iphones here comes one now um thanks for fun evening elli and and thanks for being so nice to me i think you are the most fascinating girl i have ever met meg here i want you to have this your iphone yeah i made your playlist of songs that i like who is this i'm hearing it's

avera levine why does she shouted me i don't know most of my music i just get pressure to buy thank you for this gift meg what are you doing with that outsider her name is meg father and i was just showing her our community you stay away from her she will try to corrupt you that is not true father meg is wonderful she is an outsider she does not follow the one true path you are not to see this girl again do you understand i forbid it yes sir now come home at once and as for you i suggest you st

ay away from my son you harle hey there a young one why so sad it's just that i really like this boy but is dead look out sorry there didn't realize how long it had been since old dumper did his business he'll be done soon enough maybe not doesn't sound like poop in does it sounds more like someone dropping sandwiches off a rooftop watch out for low right look like hacky sex you'll be sorry if you kick them low already well he seems to be all done now you have a good at all my goodness he must h

ave gotten into the chicken feet again you'd think they'd know it wasn't in their diet but this is how they find out you may want to close your mouth ah ha ha ha ha ha ha meg what's wrong elies father is equal so that i can't see him anymore he said i was trying to corrupt his son he did ddy well that does it we are going to teach this town how to dance oh mike i'm so sorry i try to talk to eli's father for you honey but i don't know if it's my place zekiel wouldn't listen to you anyway lois you

're a woman these people live in a patriarchal society the only member of our family whose word would carry any weight would be me's father dad will you talk to ezekiel will you tell them i'm not trying to corrupt the son please all right i'll do it but don't expect any miracles i'm not good with confrontation like when i got stuck behind that giraffe at the ball game nice hit frozen rope awesome what just happen from rule double i couldn't even shit there was something ducks on a pd let's bring

it in put your please shit down i am sitting down you sit up i am sitting up but i still can't see a thing it sounds like a new problem let's go socks before we commence with samuel fishers barn raising let us pray dear amish lord thou luketh sternly down upon us thine flock even though we did not do anything wrong and have been doing chores like please make us humble and deliver us more hardship that we may get thick callous hands much larger than other peoples and grant that we become dull li

ke eric banner who we have never seen but are just going by reputation because it is your will we solemnly believe that although humans have been around for a million years you feel strongly that they had just the right amount of technology between eighteen thirty five and eighteen fifty not too little not too much please deliver us from thomas edison the worst human being who ever lived and protect us from those who laugh at our buggies or our hats and deliver us from moustaches amen hey yeah i

s zekiel you must be mr griffin look i know you guys are busy with your bond raising it all but yeah you know i just wanted to tell you how much my daughter meg loves you boy eli i promise you she ain't trying to corrupt him and notmr griffin with all due respect we live in two different worlds i must do what is best for my son and i have hey how do we know what's gonna happen for all we know meg might want to amish yourself i had not considered this i was verily preoccupied with elies corruptio

n plus it is the time of the month when elies mother is on the burlap so what do you say let the kids give it a shot perhaps mr griffin perhaps good now on another note i notice you don't have a damn liquor music in this town we do not believe in such ostentations well i am about to change your mind introducing rock and roll i'm on the highway to hell i'll wait the hell i'm on the h you are banished from our community at once and take your horse daughter with you how did it go dad very well meg

my recollection is that it went extremely well really oh my god dad that's fantastic so i can see you like again griffins what's going on here your family must leave our community and return to the outside world dad what's happening i thought you talked to him so please whatever a quarrel is with my husband i'm sure it's probably justified but i'm begging you don't punish the children for it the innocent in all this innocence are they i found this in elies cornhole while i his weat a compartment

and eli's room where he stores his corn oh wow okay whatever you say look is zekiel we would love to go back to the city believe me i haven't had a drink in three days but our car broke down we we can't go anywhere until it gets fixed i have arrange to have that taken care of that's right is gonna be so frustrating i know these horses a south se i'm sorry meg you i was the best boy i'll ever meet and now i'll never see him again yes you will meg you lie elie what are you doing here i could not

let you leave without me meg i love you i love you too hello is watch me lay rubber in front of loses yeah eli i agree that your father was being somewhat unreasonable but i don't think running away as the end sai know mrs griffin and i am sorry but i just could not bear the thought of never seeing meg again if you seen one it easy lie it's a colleago football game pretty mind blowing huh you know what this is garbage to us what the hell is that holy crap how did this sh it must have been my fat

her this is how the amish declare feud but i thought they were nonviolent we are but peter must have really pissed off my dad hey who write the leaves and look somebody moved the lawn i was supposed to do that ha ha i have done your chores to rub you of the joy of doing chores you bastard peter we don't have a choice we've got to bring a light back oh no we don't what are you talking about we can't be part of fied with the amish i didn't start this thing lois but i'm going to finish it joe go ro

und a craig mer and all the modern day technology you can find we are going to war oh oh hey bonny it is joe there what can i leave a message for him yeah yeah it's what i said before about the the the war thing all right man this is it technology versus old timmy wooden stuff let's hit him hard what again was the nature of your beef with them i don't know something about a roler coaster let's go ah ah oh damn i'm bleeding up now it's an aids qup sui miss you furry little weirdos enough of this

crap is he kill call off your boys and let's you and me finished this man a man indeed prepare for a goodly beating leave him alone father what are you doing i am going to kill that man that man is my girlfriend meg this is against everything our people stand for what you listen to me for one moment you were so worried about these outsiders coming into our community and corrupting me but look at yourself you're the one who's allowed yourself to be corrupted god in heaven you are right i am deepl

y ashamed i only wanted to protect you i know you did father kiss kiss kiss kiss suit is your life to live i must accept the life you choose i choose to stay here what what meg you are the most beautiful woman i will ever know you have shown me so many wondrous things that have opened my eyes to the world beyond my home but this is where i belong i'm sorry if this upsets you mei love you elli i'll always love you if this is what you have to do then all i can say is i'll never forget you i am sor

ry there has been conflict between us allow me to make amends help yourself to anything in my cornhl hey don't worry about it we can still be pils and i know just a place for us to go and blow off all this steam too much better