3 Things That Will Obliterate Your Relationship

things that destroy 80 of relationships  so wives husbands listen Partners beware I have chosen three key ones today first  assuming your partner has an uncomplicated life imagine a standard scenario that I have been  in many times myself you and your partner have an appointment with mutual friends at 5 PM you  are supposed to pick her up at 4 30 pm and then drive to their place together you're late it's  4 45 and you haven't picked her up yet pissed off like a wasp of course because you will be

  laid together even though she was ready on time like any stereotypically raised woman she  has a strong need to be seen as decent and suddenly her image of a brilliantly organized  woman suffers because of your tardiness what is going on in her mind that sometimes comes out  in the form of an argument that this lateness is a problem with you that you are always like this  and never so respectful of others needs and time that you are rude simple-minded disorganized it  would always be the fault

of the circumstances the fact that she had a difficult day she had to eye  on a top that she had washed earlier because the cat threw up and so on and so forth however the  man sitting in the car would be angry about her lateness and would blame it on her character that  the princess always thinks of herself first and then of others that she never prepares in advance  as you can see the situation is symmetrical both parties can't think this way that is the mistake  in which we assume that our l

ife is complicated full of nuances while the life of our partner  as well as others is simple as a wire trivial I was late because of complex  circumstances and a series of accidents he was late because he is a rude bum who does  not care about the needs of others the same may be true in connection with the Judgment of  procrastination I procrastinate because it is a complex psychological problem with deeply held  negative beliefs about myself my partner on the other hand sees it as laziness and

carelessness  a trait Inseparable from me so do not hesitate to subscribe to our channel it's the only way to  let YouTube know that our content is valuable as you can see the first thing and how big  putting a different measure to judge the actions of our partner for ourselves we are  more forgiving less willing to whip ourselves for our mistakes while the mistakes of the  partner are simply due to how he is if I'm in a bad mood and show it it's probably because  a lot of little events along t

he way contributed to it my partner on the other hand May perceive  me as spiteful or abusive for no reason at all it's worth noticing the person in your partner  in fact I would say that it is essential to the longevity of your relationship giving each other  space to explain and understand is essential the second relationship killer is indifference  there is probably nothing more dangerous to a relationship than indifference when one partner  stops caring they stop trying consider the standard

scenario two people fall in love in the  early stages of the relationship they take care of each other huffing and puffing about everything so  that neither of them happens to feel uncomfortable But as time passed the Man became indifferent  he treated the relationship as something that was a given forever so he showed less  interest in what the partner was doing when she spoke to him he often glanced at his  phone and instead of spending time together he preferred long sessions on the computer

the  partner noticed this change and began to share her observations and concerns he quickly  brushed it off saying that he was having a worse time that he was overworked however this  indifference made her feel unloved and rejected this killed any Intimacy in their relationship  and drove the partners further apart to the man's surprise she finally decided to end  the relationship indifference slowly Creeps in along with the conviction that the relationship  is forever and taken for granted so

nothing will change it it is well known that marriage  vows are a general sense of loyalty leave plenty of room for bad times but not for constant  indifference indifference is a relationship killer the third relationship killer is contempt  it starts the same way as the first one by attributing negative qualities to the partner  and nurturing negative beliefs about the other and how does it Grow from there it begins with eye  rolling heavy sighing belittling everything the partner says and fin

ally contempt for example  consider a couple where each person has their own Hobbies Mark collects and paints figures for  tabletop combat games and meets with friends once or twice a month to play a few skirmishes he also  collects related books Carol enjoys yoga classes gardening in the summer and reading romance novels  in the winter in a word everyone has their own thing at first it's divine because everyone  gives each other space but when indifference creeps into the relationship and the p

artner  is accused of all sorts of terrible mistakes it can happen that before the next fight Mark  runs away to his Workshop to calm down a bit however the next time he runs from a confrontation  he may hear from her that it's just him and his stupid painters and his bodies again Carol may  have tossed this out there in Emotion but she hit the most sensitive Point treating a large  part of Mark's life with disrespect and contempt she hit where it hurts the most in response  she might hear then

go do your ridiculous yoga with those shallow people you don't even have  anything to talk to because I can't listen to you anymore sounds like an argument and a typical  exchange of pleasantries in a relationship well it sounds familiar but both partners are  hitting roughly below the belt treating with contempt what they individually put a lot  of heart and attention into for the sake of argument they are trying to hurt each other and  in the beginning it works because it hurts a lot this cont

ent can extend not only to Hobbies but  to literally everything to friends to shopping to how the household budget is managed to family  near and far even to whether a yoga mat or a display of the prettiest Army of figurines can  be placed in a shared living room in general contempt creates a hostile environment a hostile  environment makes it very easy to forget what brought two people together in the first place the  erosion of the relationship happens in an instant these three things first as

suming that what the  partner does wrong is done to spite us and as a result of a bad character second in difference  to the partner and his or her needs and finally third contempt these are the things that cause  most relationships to fall apart and sometimes it is enough to bite your tongue instead of hitting  where it hurts just stop thinking only about I I want I hurt I need I hurt and look for the common  we we need we want then it will be much easier to jump over these natural reflexes tha

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