待人親切能豐富你的生活 當你能超越自我 你就能夠從不健康的自私思考習慣中解放 你就能夠從不健康的自私思考習慣中解放 但在兩種極端情緒中搖擺不定 以及太過和善都是不好的 家庭及婚姻治療師達琳·蘭森說 取悅他人的習慣是從小造成的 如果你覺得你常常要迎合他人 如果你覺得你常常要迎合他人 這可能是因為父母沒有給予足夠的關愛 這可能是因為父母沒有給予足夠的關愛 這可能是因為父母沒有給予足夠的關愛 這可能是因為父母沒有給予足夠的關愛 對你有過高的期待 以及不合理的懲罰方式 這些聽起來像你所經歷過的嗎? 這裡有五點可以看出你是不是愛討好他人的人 這裡有五點可以看出你是不是愛討好他人的人 第一點，你因為害怕爭執而贊同別人 第一點，你因為害怕爭執而贊同別人 第一點，你因為害怕爭執而贊同別人 第一點，你因為害怕爭執而贊同別人 你的政治觀點是否跟朋友不同，卻只敢藏在心裡 你的政治觀點是否跟朋友不同，卻只敢藏在心裡 或是參加家庭活動，但其實討厭得要命 如果你迎合別人只是要讓其他人開心 到頭來，你只可能讓自己不開心 到頭來，你只可能讓自己不開心 最後你可能會因為說出真正的想法 而失去朋友 或陷入家庭爭吵 但最終
你能從中受益 你能知道誰才是你真正的朋友 因為你展現了真實的自我 以及與家人積極參與抉擇 記住，當你的想法沒有被聽到時 消極的態度容易萌生不滿的情緒 但練習自我表達 能幫助你在自我價值與理想形象上更添自信 第二點，挑戰說「不」 你是否因為接手太多企劃案 而時常處於忙碌狀態 暫停一下 並問問自己最後一次好好休息是什麼時候 這能幫人達成目標 並且讓人知道 你是個能夠依賴的員工、朋友、以及同事 並且在你的夢想、目標、健康方面也是 如果你想取消整個週末的行程 或是先將自己的工作做完 這並不表示你是個壞人 第三點，當你幫助人 你感到氣憤多於滿足 研究顯示 憐憫能夠產生使命感 讓你與社會產生更多連結 但當你因為不斷憐憫他人而累壞的時候 你可能會小小退縮 並且思考是哪裡不對 心理治療師雪倫·馬丁建議 觀察自己做事的動機是「自己想要」 還是「自己必要」 第四點，你對自己非常嚴格 當家長嚴厲督促或對你抱持高度期許 這很有可能讓你變得愛討好他人 這聽起來像你嗎? 當你犯錯 你不會放過自己 並且力求達到完美，而非重視過程 心理學家湯瑪斯·庫蘭以及安德魯·希爾 將完美主義定義為 對於自身及他人過度苛刻 只為了
達成目標的不合理渴望 當你不願意擁抱挫敗 你永遠不會有韌性 生活技巧的核心 是全神貫注在你的強項 並學習專注於當下 第五點，內心受傷時 你假裝一切都好 當你經歷過前面提到的所有狀況 過度延伸自己以融入他人 對自己過度要求 只為了避免爭執而迎合他人 當你沒有勇氣說出自己的真實感受 這讓人很難了解你 將情緒裝在瓶子裡 而不是打開天窗說亮話 會讓你無法與他人產生真正的連結 維持虛假的關係，只為了讓大家快樂 這真的值得嗎? 記住，當你下次想要藏起失望之情 問問自己最後一次 不用迎合他人來做事 是什麼時候 想要學習如何停止負面思想嗎? 快來看看這裡的影片 謝謝收看 嗨~大家好，我叫由美 我是本頻道Psych2Go的其中一員 今天我不只要介紹我自己 還要介紹我們超棒的Psych2Go雜誌 不覺得他們看起來超棒的嗎? 這些雜誌全都是由我們超棒、 才華洋溢的雜誌經理伊莫金做的 她花了她全部的時間，下了不少功夫 都是為了製作雜誌給大家 這樣每個人不管在哪裡 都能夠帶著一本Psych2Go 所以，我們現在要來做一個小小的發送活動 我們將選出3名贏家 沒有截止期限 你要做的只有三件小事，好嗎? 第一件事 如
果你還沒訂閱跟追蹤我們的Youtube頻道 快來追蹤跟訂閱我們 第二件事 你可以拍個照，你知道的 就是這張照片 請拍下來 或任何Psych2Go的照片 並且在社群網站上標註Psych2Go Instagram、臉書、Tumblr或其他等等 第三件事 我們會有一個連結貼在下方 他是一個很短的調查問卷 好讓我們可以聯絡你們 或多了解你們一點，好嗎? 就這樣囉 我們想要透過給予很棒的心靈支柱 來感謝你們大家對我們的支持 沒有你們，我們不可能走到今天 所以謝謝你們 謝謝觀看，掰~
Comments
Do you relate to this video?
"You pretend that you're doing alright, but you're actually hurting on the inside" Me in one sentence
I guess I am a people pleaser. My parents aren't extremely pushy, but they expect I get good grades, and many other things of such.. It's not to an extent like "YOU MUST GET ALL A'S OR ELSE YOU FAILED," its more of a "Get a's. I guess a b here and there is alright." I have horrible self esteem issues, I'm not confident in my abilities, and I always feel like it's my job to make all my friends happy. I feel when they're sad, it's my fault for not helping sooner, and it makes me feel like a terrible friend. So yeah, I guess I am a people pleaser. Edit: Hey, thank you all for the support. You're all so kind and you've made a bigger impact than you may realise. Over this year especially, since we're all stuck indoors, I've been working on improving myself. I'm getting better at speaking my mind, thinking positively of myself, and am trying to put myself and my mental health before anything else. I can look in the mirror and think "there's a girl who's happy, beautiful, proud, and smart," and mean it. It's taken a lot of work, and I still have a long way to go, but I'm making progress. My friends still mean the world to me, but I try not to bash myself down if I can't help them. I'll always offer my hand to help them, but if I can't help, I can't help, and that's not on me. I'm doing much better, grade-wise, and it's no longer a fear that I'll fail my parents for getting bad grades. They're very proud of my progress, in fact. To anyone else who has or currently is struggling, I believe in you, I really do. You can do great things if you put your mind to it. Eat healthy, take a walk at least once a week (maybe more), and try to find the good in yourself. You will see the negatives in yourself more than anyone else will. Your happiness and your mental health should always come first. Don't stop being a wonderful friend, offer help if you can, but if it's going to damage your mental health in the process, don't do that to yourself. You're the most important person in your life, it's your story. If you need a friend who can sympathize with you, know that you have me. I may not always be able to help, but you aren't alone, and I'm here for you. Remember to drink some water and eat something today. Get plenty of sleep tonight! Love you all, and thank you again for your support. You really made a difference. ♥️
3:00 they ask you how you are and you just have to say that you're fine but you're not really fine-
I felt this video to my core. My parents never showed me any love, they would never listen to me, never show any kind of love and would expect way to much for a little kid suffering from severe ADD. I know they loved me and I do love them back, just wish they would have showed that when it really mattered.... In the end it showed me the importance of love and affection and that you should never take it for granted. I always remind my fiance I love her with all my heart and will continu do to so with my future children. If you have been mistreated, make sure you leave this world in a better place than you found it.
1. Fear of conflict 2. you can't say no 3. desire or obligation 4. hard on yourself 5. you pretend to be ok
#1 If you please people, you're probably a people pleaser
I kinda hate being a people pleaser and an introvert. People want to ask me out but I don't want to but if I say no I feel bad but if I do go out I still feel bad and tired 😩 edit : I don't feel this anymore ever since I got myself out of a toxic friendship. Although I still don't like going to parties etc, I really am looking forward to spend time with people more, and I hope anyone who had the same experience as me will get through this situation too!
I've always had anxiety since I was a little kid, I just want people to feel happy because I'm too scared to take time for myself. I can't say no to people, and it hurts when I do. I have to just make everyone feel happy and make sure no one feels worse than me. I'm super hard on myself and I don't take my failures well. I always say I'm fine especially when I'm not, because I don't like having people worry about me when I'm supposed to be worrying about them. I bottle up my emotions and don't like to talk about my problems, no matter how serious or threatening they are to me. Taking time for myself and just saying no is something I'm trying my best to get better at. It's a slow and difficult process, but I'm trying.
I had to train myself how to say no. Now I can say it, but I still feel a bit guilty after I do (work in progress...) 🙂
I learned to be a people pleaser from being raised in an abusive home. It wasn't love withheld... It was a survival skill that kept me from being attacked as often. My survival skills were to stay invisible as much as possible, and people please whenever I couldn't hide. I still do it. I hate it.
Anyone else feel like they are a “people pleaser”? ✋🏼
Is that lofi in the background!? it’s near!? Finally some real music...
When you’re always busy listening and being kind to others, you never have time to care for yourself physically and or mentally, and soon you’re emotions start boiling over, from the pressure of getting good grades, living up to your parents standards, and no one letting you vent, complain, or cry on their shoulder. Me in a short description.
The thing is- I’m a people pleaser but I grew up in a loving home that didn’t put extreme expectations on me. I just think sometimes people in a healthy household can become people pleasers cause they want to please their parents in a way that it keeps the healthiness. It might also be cause by bullying? One might want to please others in fear of being bullied again?
*when you are early but you have nothing to say*
Nice video!! It seems everyone of us is a 'people pleaser' one time or the other ! Learning to say NO without hurting others feelings and at the same time "being OK" for saying NO is the toughest part that people pleasers struggle to learn.
I come here instead of therapy, because I’m kinda broke? And this channel makes me have a little hope in a strange way, yunno?
I definitely struggle with being a people pleaser. It really sucks.
My mom always told me to say "Yes" to everyone, and to always help others. Growing up, my voice was never heard and respected. My parents and brother always bossed me around. I always had to work to please them. My parents would never give any praise or validation for what I did. This led to me being bullied and taken advantage of. I had a lot of false friends, and developed a lot of mistrust towards others. As an adult, I'm trying to learn how to say "No" and to be more aware of my emotions. I'm now more aware of times where I'm feeling drained and need time for myself. I'm trying to be aware of my accomplishments and learning to love myself. Theres definitely a process of healing.