6 Tips On How To Have A Strong Relationship - Alpha Man Smart Woman

- Quiz time, how long have we been together? - I should ask you that question like you asked me to like what the heck? - I want to ask her first in case- - Okay, I have an answer, what's your answer? - In case, I think like-- Alpha man smart woman is back Jennie's here. Jennie is here, Jennie is here. - Is that the welcome dance or? - That's right, this way too. - Oh my God, this is so lame. - You know, you, you are so popular on my channel, like when- - I know. - I know you know. - You are defi

nitely more popular on my channel. - Than you! - Than me, for sure there's no doubt, there's no doubt. When we had an, a video just a few weeks ago- - Yeah. - And I could see your comment, people like asking, my fans, we want Jennie back, we want Jennie back. I know you've been, we've been self quarantine for a few weeks now. so I thought I would bring Jennie back to also kind of to cheer you up to bring some joy into your life, right? - I hope I can do that. - Yes. - I mean, I need some cheer u

p too. - That's a tall order. So today we are going to talk about six tips on how to have a strong romantic relationship. So quiz time, how long have we been together? - I should ask you that question like you asked me like what the heck? - I want to ask her first in case- - Okay, I have an answer, what's your answer? - In case, I think like 12 years? Something like that? - Yeah barely past 13 but yeah 12 works, yeah. - 13 yeah that's right. Precisely, specifically, 13 years, two months and, and

54 seconds, that's what it is. No, almost 13 years. - Almost 13 years, yes. - Wow, okay. So I think actually- - But wait, what's the wow? Is it too long or is it too short? - It's just like it's a long time. - Oh okay? - It's a long time. No, but a lot of, actually a lot of the, I know a couple actually follow us... - Because we work together. They know they work together in business and we see each other all the time right? It's funny I was reading an article talking about how now because of t

he Corona Virus, that the divorce rate is actually going up. - Going up? - Going up! So two things happen. So one, because some of the couples did, they'd been in isolation, they've been separated- - Oh you mean they go to work different places? - Yeah, even though different places like maybe they were traveling out in this, in the, in different places actually. So long, long time isolation, it creates, I guess distance. So they get divorced, that's one reason. Another reason is before they go t

o work, now they're stuck together 24/7. - Oh yeah. - So more conflicts, more arguments, more everything. So now they want a divorce. - But isn't that like? As like people saying after ten months, like we're going to have a lot of babies born? - There could be, I mean people got nothing to do. - Which way? - It's just Netflix and chill all day. Right? That's what happens, right? So okay, so tip number one that I believe kind of share with what makes our relationship work or this is just what wor

ks for us, right? - Yes. - But maybe you can try some of these tips on your own and see how they work for you. So number one, I think it's active listening, - Hmmm. - Active listening. So now because with what I do, I teach closing and sales and business and listening is one of the most valuable skills. So I'm, I'm naturally- - So listening you mean don't talk while the other is talking? - Yes, but also asking questions. Of, of, like, what, what are you thinking? And sometimes when I do that I'm

not, I don't think I'm a naturally good listener. I think naturally, I'm not a good listener, but I'm a trained, right? Listener, so I train, I learn how to ask questions. But I think you actually naturally a good listener. - I think naturally, women are all better listening, than men. - Yes. - But I think the thing is you have to teach your man the ways for them to solve the problem. Cause sometime they were saying let's just stop the problem. Like why do I have to listen to you? I just want t

o get the ball out of this so we can move on. But then instead for you to do that, you have to listen to your wife first. So if you tell your man, okay, if you want to stop this, let's do step one, two, three, four, five. I know it was a very logic thing for a lot of women, this is hard. But then same time, both of you guys want to solve the problem, then you have to be patient. You have to listen to each other's stories and also have to consider each other's feelings. So I think listening is ve

ry, very important. So husbands, mens, you got to be patient. Listen to your wife. - And sometimes what I learn is, uh, like I know you, you like to talk things out. - Like, when- - Yes, a lot. Like when, when Jennie's talking, she's processing through talking. So she needs to talk it out. So when she's processing it and I know, cause I made this mistake in the past where I would interrupt and try to drum into like Mr. Problem solver, right? That's what I do, I solve problems, right? But in rela

tionship what I notice is, and she will tell me, okay, let me finish, let me, let me process my thought cause if I interrupt she would forget, right? So that's not, that's not healthy. So I think, I think that active listening and listening part of it, is also asking good questions, like asking good questions. So tell me a little bit more what is going on. Not just like mm-hmm, mm-hmm that's not listening. Active listening it's tell me a little bit more like how do you feel, why do you feel this

way? Okay, what about this? What about that? I think that's almost like a guiding process, right? I think that's, that would be the first one. - It sounds like therapy. - It does? It does sound like therapy? - Is it, isn't it? - Okay, yeah little bit. - Little bit. - Little bit. - But it works. - Tip number two is, love your parents and love their parents. - Duh, like duh? - But I think that's also more so in, in Asian culture. - I think strongly in Asian culture- - Because I think when, when a

couple, when they, when you are together, especially in when after you're married. It's not just two people like a marriage but almost like two family marriage, right? So then um, I think in, in the Asian culture where like then same thing a Caucasian culture too, but it's the, you know your father becomes my father, my mother becomes your mother or the father in law, modern law, but it's not just like father-in-law, but really it's their relationship. - Yes. - And I think respecting them, taki

ng care of them- - Yes - Very, very key. Because you will see conflicts sometimes within relationship where maybe the mother-in-law doesn't get, doesn't get along with the wife. That becomes a big problem, right? All this the husband doesn't get along with the father-in-law, that becomes a problem, right. I think, I think loving them, actually caring about them and thinking for them versus; cause it might sound a little bit weird in the beginning, Oh, that's like, Ooh, I have another dad, I have

another mom, right. It feels a little bit like, well, I think in our culture is quite natural. - It is quite natural. - Right? - Oh, I think in China's too, there's a big percentage of our families after they get married, they live with their in-laws together. - Even in Indian culture too, right? - Oh yeah. - Right? A lot of Asian culture where we feel like, okay? Like we were supposed to take care of the elderly, right. And also sometimes we, when, when, when we have kids, right? If you have k

ids then it's like the grandpa, grandma taking care of the kids too. That happens as well, right. So that's what be tip number two, Love their parents. Tip number three, practice vulnerability. Now this is interesting one because I do see some of my friends who are couples where I just found that our relationships, it's quite different from theirs. Because, I won't name names, but you know the couple that got divorced that how they are almost too polite to each other. You know what I mean? - Ah,

okay. - It, it, it's almost too uptight. You feel like, like the wife, there are a lot of things that, that she doesn't tell the husband and the husband and a lot of things that he doesn't even bother to tell the wife. You know what I mean? Like they, they just, even though they been together for many, many years, right? Over decade. - So they still have a side of them. They don't want to open up to their- - Yeah, it feels very strange. It feels a little strange. Even when they communicate with

each other, it feels almost a bit too formal. - You know what I mean? Like you know the couple I'm talking about, right? It's a little bit too formal. I don't know why. Like with us, good or bad, but I think, you know everything- - Too much. - Like my, my deepest secrets, my insecurities, my, my, uh my mistakes. Uh, everything. - Frustrations. - Frustrations, yes. Everything. - It's - Every little thing, I mean everything. Everything. - Yes, yes, yes. - Definitely not the man you see right now.

- Yes, it's- - I guess it the same for- - It's a lot better. It's a lot better. Anyway, anyway, cut right there. Let's edit that out. - No, keep it, keep it. - Let's edit that out, let's edit that out. Editor, this is edit, editing- - No, no, no, we keep that, we keep that. - Yes, anyway, so where were we? Yes, how great I am actually besides on camera, right? No, so but really, I think that being vulnerable. And I know, I, I think I know everything about you. You share everything about you kno

w? - I don't know? - What the hell is this? Okay, this is the moment you have to WTF, like... Right there. Okay, editing notes again. No, but I think, I think I know you very well. - Yeah okay, that's good. - Okay, now question. Okay, scrap tip number three. Okay? - No, no, no, yeah. We've been together like long enough. - Yes. - That he has very good relationship with my parents, and it's so, it's I don't think I have secrets. - I can see, I can see. - Ooh, that's no good. - I don't know if tha

t's tip number three, maybe? Question mark, maybe tip number three- - I guess it still goes back to communication. - Yeah, open communication. - Open communication, yes. - And uh, but sometimes I think with us, we, I don't know when was the last time we actually had a like a major- - Fight? - Yeah, how often we fight- - I don't remember. - I don't, how often we fight in a year? Once? - I don't remember. - Twice, not even there? - Yeah. - I don't know, we just don't fight. I don't know how a coup

le, they argue they fight all the time, right. I know couples that just throw stuff at each other. - I mean we did that when we were like, twenties but- - Yeah, when we were, no, when we were first, were dating. - Yeah. - Cause we have the personality uh, clash I guess? - And also different kind of expectations- - Yeah, different expectations. We didn't have open communications back then. That's what's the problem, right. I thought you know what I think, and you thought I know what you think. An

d actually we're thinking very very different things, right? So tip number four, and that is physical affection. Now, here's my question to you, to my audience on, on social media. Here's a question, how many times I kiss you every day? Tell them. - What the truth? - Yeah, tell them - Too many times? - How many times, give me a number. - I don't know, like- - Be specific. - Like 10 times? - It's got to be more than that. - It's got to be more than 10. I know it's more that 10 times, how many tim

es? - But it's always the time like when I'm just kind of in my zone, doing my thing, and then like I'm enjoying myself, and he's like, just come and interrupt me. - You know like reading a magazine. - Yeah, we're like watching TV or having fun, by myself, while talking with my friends. And then he would just come and kiss me like. Not now? - Let's say 10 times. That's like almost every hour? Kind of? - Not every hour. But when you're working you're very focused on, yeah. - Yeah when I'm working

, there's no, there's no, I don't talk to you for how many. Then you come kiss me when Tell them the truth. - Yeah, maybe once. - It's more than once, it's more than once, okay. How many times I hug you everyday? - I think every time before we go to bed, yeah. - Yeah? More than- - More than that? - What the? What the? Tell the truth! - Okay, that, that was a wrong example. Girls, you can't say that. - Forget it, forget this video No, how it, more than, way more than once! - I don't remember. I w

on't like checklist it. - No, remember, just take a gue- it's got to be, I know it's more than once, come on. - Uh, yeah like 10 times, I guess? - Okay, that's that, see? At least 10 kisses a day, at least 10 hugs a day, right? - Hmm. - Yeah. Not once! It's not one's thing. - Okay, I guess, it only, it only works when your spouse, spouse loves you more than- - Love it. - Yeah, if they don't love it, the five love language is not the physical touch, then it's annoying I guess, is it what it is? -

Yeah. Yeah I guess. - I guess, though for me it's uh, the act of service, right? For you, it would be... - I don't know, physical touch? I think too. - It's a physical touch, and I give you 10 touches, 10 hugs everyday- - Or maybe not that one, maybe not that one. - Then she says, nah once a day? What the heck is this. And I don't, and you say you don't think about it. - Maybe not from you? - Okay, this is official, the last episode of Alpha Man, Smart Woman. Okay, this is the end, that's right

. - Finale. - That, the two more tips forget about it. - See you! - It's just like, I guess these tips don't really work. Is that what it is, right? Uh, tip number five- - You can still keep going? - I can still keep going, I want to keep going cause I promised six tips, they get six tips. - Okay. - So, tip number five. This we actually learned it from a friend of ours. - Okay. - Okay, which is, uh meeting. Relationship meeting. - Okay. - So once a year, uh the husband and wife actually get toge

ther. Not just like a, not so much like a date night and stuff like that. They actually get together, they don't talk about to do list, they don't talk about their kids, they don't talk about whatever there's to talk about. It's almost like a review. It's like a business review. - Yeah, I was just going to say, annual meeting. - Yeah, it is like a review. So it kind of like the go through like, hey you know in the last 12 months what has been working for you. Like what do you love, what do you e

njoy in the relationship, right. Then sometimes, you know if you have the opportunity to talk about this. And also, if there's any conflict, they kind of, if they could wait, they'd wait til that meeting. - That day? - Yeah, but they might say they'd meet at least once a year, but if there's like an emergency meeting, they would call that meeting. So we, but they don't fight right there. They say it will, they write it down, cause sometimes, what he told me is that when they write it down, after

a few days, no conflict anymore. - Okay. - Right, but they would write it down. So they write down- - Just like a journal- - Yeah, it's a journal. And then they would, but this is not a blaming session though. It's not like, "Oh look at what you did wrong! All these things I hate about you." But just like, "Hey you know what?" These, and he always start with the positive. What's working in the - In the business? - It is like a business meeting. What's working in relationship, and then you know,

um, what's not working in the relationship, right? You know, some things that that's not working, and they would bring it up. And then third is, what they could do together as a couple to improve. - Oh, that's great. - That's great. And they would say, they would spend a few hours just talking about, just about that. - Hmm. - And then it's almost like a review of like, just because they are together, that's what he told me, precisely. Just because they're together, that it doesn't mean like, th

ey don't want to be together out of obligation. - Oh, not because they're getting married? - Not because they are married. - Mm-hmm, sorry. - Not because of them being together for a long time, it's, hey do we still love each other? Do we still want to be together? That's that. And they have a promise to each other, if ever they're going to talk about divorce, they're not going to talk about it outside of their meeting. - Oh? - So if they're going to talk about divorce, they have the any meeting

to go talk about that there. So then, you kind of ask if, do you want to? Renew, you can almost like a renew- - Renew the contract. - Another year, right? And so okay, everything is good. Not like, I don't like these, you got to make these changes. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Here is what we could do as a couple. I think it's a very powerful exercise. - Hmm. - Cause I think, you notice couples, specially the friends- - Yes. - That we know, they have problems because they don't, they don't have an out

let. - Yeah. - To talk about this, and then with kids and everything that's going on, they're just busy, they don't talk about it, right? So I think, I think that's pretty, that's a pretty good tip. That's a good tip. - Yeah, and then they really focus. Um, the two of them, but not everything else. - Not everything else. - So that would be that, once a year the time like, I would just focus on you, I will just listen to you, remember what we talk all about the other tips. Listen to you, communic

ate, and open, being vulnerable. And then talk to you, and then asking you, is there anything I can improve? Should we keep going? - Mm, yes. - I respect that, that takes a lot of courage to do that. - And it's good, I think it's a good habit. They just block it out, they're going to do that. - And they've been married for how many years? - Ooh, a ling time, It's got to be, more than, more than a decade. I guess they're, I think they were high, high school sweetheart. - Oh my God. - So they've b

een together a long time. - Wow. - And they have two, two kids? - Yeah, two kids. - Yeah, two kids, so yeah. And it, it works on, I think they're very much, when I see them still very much in love. - Very passionate. - Very passionate, very, a lot of physical touch. - Yes, yes, yes. - That the wife appreciates. That the husband does 10 times, 20 times a day. But she doesn't- - Okay, what's tip number six? - Tip number six is, to practice playfulness. - Okay. - I think we have, actually a very pl

ayful relationship. - Yeah, I think they can see that. - Yeah, I think we have a very, like we tease each other, we don't take it personally, right? I don't take it personally, right? If I do- - You don't? - No I don't. And to demonstrate that, we have a playful relationship. So, I was working in the office. And Jennie was sitting across the table, I'm very focused, I'm working, I'm doing my thing. And she was like writing something on a piece of paper. And I'm like, "What are you doing?". I tho

ught she was jotting down something important, okay. And she looked at me, she was jotting. And then, and then she said, "I am drawing a picture of you." I said, "Oh, all right?" Okay, make it look nice. Well, I'll let you be the judge. You be the judge. Does that look like me? Seriously? - Come on, that is Dan Lok. - What the hell is- - Right there, look at this. Look at this, look at that. - What the hell is this, that doesn't look like me, okay. That is, nothing looks like me at all. - From J

ennie Lok. - And this is your, this is your Picasso piece? - No, that's not Picasso! - No, this is the first drawing ever. You drew. - Of any human. - And then I said, "Okay, this is so, this is like so ugly." And I said, "I'm going to, I'm going to- - Trash it. - I'm going to trash it, and she doesn't allow me to trash it. Not only that she doesn't allow me to trash it, I have to put it on my, next to my vision board. - Vision board. - This is right on my freaking vision board! I look at this e

veryday. - In the center, yeah. Dan Lok. - If I look at too much of this, I might become like this. - There's nothing wrong with that. I mean you still- - Okay, what, what's with, what's with that, with that the eyes? - Well that's your eyes? - That's not my eyes. - You comment below, how is this my eyes? Look at, look at my eyes. This is not my eyes. Okay, look at my lips. That's not my lips. This guy- - Okay, there's Lok. Can you see there's Lok. Cause I use red, not black. - Okay, red also st

ands for alarm, emergency and stuff. - No, no, no, no, it's- - Okay, okay, look at the mouth. There's no mouth, that's a hole. There's no lip, that's just a hole, that's it. There's nothing. And every single time you walk by, you look at this and you just laugh at it. Are you laugh at me or you laugh at him? Or you mind your peace? You mind your peace. - I mind my peace. - That's right, that's right. So those, okay, you comment below. I'll let you be the judge. So those are the six tips to have

a stronger romantic relationship. And two, apparently kind of don't work that way. I don't even know. Comment below which tip you're going to implement in your life. Now, if you want Jennie to be back, you want more Jennie, and I think you do. Make sure you comment below. Give her a likes, you know if you ever? If you ever, I know you want to. But if you ever start a YouTube channel, I think you would be very popular. - I think so too, because I like to talk a lot. - Yes, yes, mm, mm. And you li

ke makeup. - I do. - But she, she saw how hard it is to consistently produce good content. Like for, for the fans and audience. So she's like, "Well maybe that's not what I want to do." - Yes. - She's prefer to be, behind the scenes. - Actually the team, like our team Dan Lok. A lot of people say, "Jennie, if you start your own- - I don't even know why I'm holding this, it's stupid. Why am I holding this Anyway, behind every man there is a smart woman.