What do narcissists do when they're alone?
Emotionally narcissists are constantly walking a tight rope trying to balance their shaky
self-esteem. What makes them feel more stable is getting a lot of external validation and
what makes them lose their sense of stability is any perceived criticism. For this reason,
narcissists have a very hard time being alone and if they are alone they are constantly hunting
for new sources of supply. In today's video, I'm going to talk about the seven things
narcissist do when they are alone. Please stick around to the end of this video to find
out what they are most definitely not [Music] doing. If you find this video helpful, please do
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community! Okay
so let's jump right in. First, understand that to a narcissist supply is like
oxygen and they need a constant source of supply in order to survive which is why they have such
a need need to be in control of their sources of supply. Imagine being a scuba diver about to go on
a deep dive you'd be checking and double-checking your sources of oxygen and make sure you have
enough oxygen supply to safely complete the dive this is what it's like for a narcissist
narcissistic supply refers to the a
dmiration and validation that narcissists need in order
to maintain their inflated self-image and their sense of self-worth so if they're not getting
enough they feel insecure irrelevant small weak vulnerable and extremely shameful so they are
almost always fantasizing and striving about achieving the success power Beauty Brilliance
wealth the ideal love that they believe will actually make them worthy so here are seven things
that narcissists tend to do when they are alone number one is se
lf- admiration narcissists
spend a significant amount of time thinking about themselves about their accomplishments
their perceived superiority when they are alone they may engage in activities that feed their ego
so they're fantasizing about success or replaying past achievements they're indulging in these
grandio fantasies about having that something or someone that will make make them happy and feel
worthy of everyone's admiration and adoration while engaged in their self-admiration they
will
often reach out to others by text or by phone to brag and to get that external validation number
two is they go on social media when a narcissist is alone social media tends to be their best way
to hunt down Supply they may spend time on their social media platforms for self-promotion so
this of course is an attempt to seek validation compliments and praise they may frequently post
content that highlights their accomplishments um their material possessions anything to affirm
their se
lfworth and make sure that people are seeing them and thinking of them in the light
that they want to be seen they typically send messages to people either people that they know
people that they don't don't know doesn't really matter they may be flirtatious try to love bomb
they're probably fishing for compliments but definitely for attention they may leave a comment
on someone's post with the goal of either getting admiration drawing attention to themselves or even
just to you know create
some chaos or drama so they might insult someone or put them down uh they
might start arguing with strangers on social media to validate their beliefs and boost their ego
and also to assert power and a sense of control at the end of the day all of their social media
activities serve the same purpose and that is to gain narcissistic Supply sadly for the narcissist
social media tends to be a double-edged sword often fueling their insecurities as they can get
very envious when they see other p
eople showcasing their perfect lives number three is they plan and
scheme when alone narcissists May meticulously plan and scheme ways to manipulate others so this
is to maintain control it's to uphold their image of superiority um they may be strategizing
on ways to exploit vulnerabilities in their relationships to get sympathy or empathy from
others to plan revenge on other people who they perceive have harmed them in some way planning
and scheming allows them to orchestrate situations th
at fulfill their need for attention admiration
validation and Power in control and this is often at the expense of other people's well-being
here's an example let's say a narcissist is invited to a party where they want to make a
big impression they might spend a ton of time beforehand planning their entrance planning their
interactions to ensure that they stand out and receive a a lot of attention and admiration they
will meticulously plan how to craft their image so this might include thi
ngs like planning their
outfit their makeup their accessories changing a 100 times before going they will strategize and
plan conversations so that they can appear more intelligent witty and successful they may scheme
or begin planning potential ways to create drama chaos uh conflict and excitement and ways to stay
the center of attention so whether this is by telling extravagant stories or engaging in other
types of attention-seeking behavior they may also anticipate potential challenges t
o their dominance
or their uh Spotlight and strategize subtle ways to undermine or discredit other people through
dismissive remarks passive aggressive behavior really it's all about getting maximum amounts
of supplies and if any part of their plan fails they may get extremely upset as they may feel
crushed by a sense of Shame and this can cause them to behave in impulsive and erratic ways and
often in abusive and rageful ways number four is that narcissists ruminate when they are alone
so
they replay conversations or interactions in their minds repetitively selectively focusing on
aspects of the conversation that reinforce their self-image as Superior uh successful or admired
they might dwell on compliments that they received instances where they asserted their dominance or
control or situations where they believe that they were the center of attention by replaying these
interactions they seek to bolster their ego and maintain their inflated sense of self-importance
also na
rciss nists May sometimes fixate on perceived slights or criticisms during these
mental replays however they usually reinterpret these um situations in a way that minimizes any of
their flaws or faults and instead place the blame on others or dismiss the criticism altogether
number five is they triangulate by text when a narcissist is alone they are often on their
phone creating conflict chaos compet ition and manipulating others from a distance always
stirring the pot creating drama and tr
ying to gain a sense of control over people and situations
since they have such a deep fear of being perceived as inadequate or flawed they are often
triangulating the people in their lives as a way to boost their own self-image and maintain control
over their sources of Supply Again by creating conflict and competition triangulation involves
bringing third parties into a relationship Dynamic typically by comparing or contrasting one person
with another this tactic is used to isolate and Ga
slight others by sewing seeds of Doubt jealousy
insecurity creating division among these people and making them more susceptible to The Narcissist
manipulations number six is reckless or impulsive behaviors when left alone with their thoughts
a narcissist often feels very shameful so to cope with these feelings they often engage in
activities that provide instant gratification such as substance use excessive shopping or Reckless
sexual activities these things offer instant distractions and
immediate gratification allowing
the narcissist to temporarily escape from the emotional discomfort that they are experiencing
number seven is hoovering old sources of Supply if they can't find a new source of Supply
or they simply don't want to make the effort they will reach out to Old sources of Supply
most narcissists have a list of old suppliers such as X's that haven't fully cut them off yet
the X might think that they are special because the narcissist is still reaching out to them a
fter
all of this time but no what is actually happening is that you're like their convenience store their
backup plan and the person they go to for a quick fill up anytime their tank is low so maybe the
narcissist is in a relationship but when they're alone and bored they reach out and flirt with
you or they call you to complain about their new relationship or maybe they tell you that
they can't get over you whatever it is it is aimed at getting Supply from you quick they are
likely reachi
ng out to a bunch of people at the same time and whoever responds first gets to fill
their tank okay so those are some of the things a narcissist will do when they are alone but here is
one thing that they are definitely not doing they are not facing reality or facing their feelings of
Shame most of their waking hours are spent trying to distract themselves from their sad lonely
empty shameful inner Reality by using others to maintain their delusional fantasies so if you are
constantly seek
ing Supply to uphold your fragile ego if your entire self-image relies on external
validation then narcissistic personality disorder is a possibility but it's not the only possibility
if you suspect you may have NPD consider reaching out to a mental health therapist who specializes
in this disorder disorder who can help you manage your symptoms regulate your emotions give
you better coping strategies to deal with feelings of Shame as well as help you manage your
relationships better unfortu
nately narcissists are typically the last ones to ever acknowledge their
flaws mistakes or shortcomings when faced with criticism or evidence of their harmful behaviors
they simply raise their defenses even higher they deflect they blame they distort reality to
protect their ego then they go out and find people to reinforce their false self-image and
twisted narratives they are experts at finding people to breathe life into them people who
will support and enable them in justifying and rati
onalizing their bad behaviors unable
to ever truly confront themselves and deal with the shame that's at the root of their recurring
problems thank you so much for watching I hope you enjoyed this video if you did again please
like comment subscribe and hit the notification Bell and to learn more about narcissistic
personality disorder click on the link [Music] above
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