What will happen if I said this thing,
now some person will make a Reel of it. He will only pick up the part
in which I am saying that, There's no such thing as f*** up, move on! Yes. He will take a small part
and post it, okay. Now there are frustrated people there,
whose life is messed up, they will write that, Yes look, he became successful,
that's why he is doing ****, otherwise then... so I want to say right here
as a pre-intimation. The person who cut the part
and made the Reel, shou
ld also make it for
the remaining part. Firstly, I feel that the addiction to
Reels is so much in people, it is very bad. And my feed is rotten now,
so many dirty reels come in my feed bro, but it is fun to watch them! So dirty, I am telling the truth,
whomever I send, they block me. I started enjoying watching them so much
that I knew that I am not growing in this, but I am ready to drown. I want to see how much mess
these people can create. I will not say much
about this conversation. Ev
eryone knows the name of
Anubhav Singh Bassi, but very few people know about this side
of him which was revealed in this podcast. Enjoy Anubhav Singh Bassi on TRS. Anubhav Singh Bassi bro,
Welcome to TRS Hindi! How are you? Why are you laughing? No, I am laughing because till now
you had no such energy as it is now. Yes, this is my on-screen avatar. How was the energy till now? Till now he was talking normally,
now he went completely mad. What are you thinking about these days? I'm thinking
of taking home in Bombay, Ok. I mean, I am taking it on rent,
just to live, because I am bored of living in hotels. So I have to stay only for 7-8 days,
so that's why, I went to Bandra to take it, I did not know that the whole of Bandra
is undergoing renovation, so every person is telling me that
all the buildings are under renovation, and this is left, you see this. And in the house in which
I live in Delhi, as I have always lived, I like to have at least a terrace
or a balcony, but here
obviously,
you can't expect all that. So I am looking for a house
with a terrace. The houses in which they take me saying
that we will give you a balcony, in the name of a balcony,
they are giving me a space as big as I am. So I can just stand there. And at some places, we call it a small
balcony which is outside the house, it is basically for pigeons to sit here, they are calling it a balcony
by putting a railing on it. I said, don't annoy me,
show me something proper. Welcome to Mumbai
, bro! This is the vibe of Mumbai. Like I didn't know much about this, because I always used to stay
in hotels in Mumbai. Now I am looking for a house
for the first time. I used to stay with Dua and Suri
whenever I used to come to Mumbai, so it all started there,
means I did observe it the first time, but did not take it to heart
because I was not taking a home. I was just staying at that place,
I used to go and stay there peacefully. They both used to think
about this all day long. Then
I used to stay at Upamanyu's place, he lives alone, and he lives alone in a
big house, so it didn't matter to us much. But now I feel that yes, there is
a serious problem of small houses here. I have noticed that generally in Delhi, people value friendship very much
as compared to here. Here also there are elements
of friendship, and if you look
in the professional world, I mean in the professional world
of Mumbai, relationships are less intense. There the friendship is also intense. Every
one is living there. When you live at a place, it is your home, you live with your family all the time, then your emotional attachment
is always there. Then you have friends around, so those
friends are living in their family, that's why that friendship has been
going on continuously for a long time, so that's why that friendship
has remained. Everyone here has come from outside,
and each person came for their work, each person wants to progress,
they don't have much time to waste in makin
g friends. Things are going smoothly in Delhi,
business is going on, we will meet in the evening,
sit together for three hours, then the friendship will automatically
flourish, if there is no work. I have noticed that even people
who have grown up here have a different definition
of relationship, in terms of... I'll live here and observe, then... Yes, you will notice it. Will tell you next time. Means all my family from Delhi, they say that there everyone
is raw in a good way, in terms of
even if they are rude. They are curt, that's what they do. What they are inside, they show outside. After coming here, you have to live
in a little sophisticated way, so we live like that. Yeah, maybe, ok. Tell me something. Tell me what is TRS Hindi
and what is TRS English? There are two podcasts,
one is an English podcast, one is a Hindi podcast, that's all. You didn't even consider me worthy
of English? You didn't even ask me? No, we can do that,
but the audience is different. Only three
topics are successful
in English. One is geopolitics, the other is ghosts. Ghosts in English? Yes, very much! I don't know how. But foreign audiences
also consumes English podcasts, so they enjoy all the conspiracy theories. What is the third topic? The third topic is very deep,
meaning psychology, like this. And you talk about these things? No, people do, people like you. Ok, people who come here. I ask questions,
and I get views because of you guys. So thank you. A lot of views are going
to come on
this podcast because of you. I will see the psychology ones,
I have not seen it. Ok, shall we make the podcast heavy? Do as you wish, I am already here. Ok. I am sitting in your studio,
now do whatever you want to do. I have also told you that
I have no work for the next 2-3 hours. Do you think about your own death? Yes, I do, everyone thinks. Do you think? I think. What do you think? I mean, I just think that,
yes, it can come anytime, so I personally feel that
life is very unc
ertain, and there is a reason
that it is uncertain, so don't take life so casually
that I waste it, and don't take it too seriously that I keep thinking about
what will happen tomorrow. So I enjoy it as much as I can. I live every day, I live in today,
rest we'll see tomorrow. Yes, but a constant fear remains. Of what? We'll die and all this will end. Ok. Yes, that is a couplet of John sir, I can't remember what it is,
but he has a couplet that says, The two of us, basically its gist is,
b
oth of us are so beautiful, it's about relationship, I'm telling you about something
related to me and my soul, We are such lucky people
that we live together, and a calamity will come that we will die. So that factor remains in the mind. But it is okay, this has to happen,
what can we do, nothing is in our hands. Ok. Stand-up comics are also philosophers
according to me. No. No? Is a stand-up comic just
a stand-up comic? Yes, half of them are not even that. Meaning? Half of the stand-up co
mics
aren't even stand-up comics! There is probably none in India. Everyone is in the process,
everyone has started learning now. It is a 10-year-old industry,
so all of us are learning. They will come a time when
we'll actually be stand-up comics. How do you get so many views, Mr. Bassi? The public knows, I have no idea. No, you tell us!
You have cracked some mathematics! Can you imagine I don't even know
how to upload a video on YouTube. Ok. Rohit who's sitting there knows
how to upload
it. Ok. I don't know how to do it. Rohit, so many views,
I am kidding, please tell us. I have no idea, I just posted a video,
and it went viral, and after that, I don't know,
I literally don't know anything, bro! I don't know
how the Instagram algorithm works. I don't like uploading Reels and videos. I can't manage it. So ask some YouTube guy how this
is happening, I don't know anything. Ok. And you are asking me this,
even though you get so many views! Yes, but this podcast is about you,
so today we will get views
from your perspective. No man, you started this much later. You were viral even before this. BeerBiceps is from much before. I want to know the meaning of BeerBiceps. It means, when we started the channel, the thought was that
we'll only make fitness videos. And my only goal in life was to
open a gym. Then that goal changed,
and I decided that I'll open a gym chain. Then I thought that there
is more money in digital marketing, and that's how I shifted
the conten
t also away from fitness. But have you heard of the name
Paul Levesque? Have you heard of the name Triple H? He's the same. Is his name Paul? Yes, Paul Levesque. He spoiled my life, I was so happy
with the name Triple H till now. What is it, Paul Levik? Paul Levesque. Levesque. But you know Triple H? Of course, we used to throw water
like him in school and got beaten up. I am asking you this like
a little brother, please tell me did somebody ever
break your heart? Yes. Yes? After so many yea
rs,
if I look back at that thing, I feel that no girl has broken it,
I was ****. My actions were not so good that I see it
in such a way that she broke my heart. Everyone sees things in their own way. She would have seen the way
she would have seen, I would have seen the way
I would have seen. At that time,
I felt that now I have been wronged, but actually, if I look back today, no one has done anything wrong,
everything is fine. But there are some who genuinely
have very bad heartbreaks.
Another point of view in that too is that
sometimes when someone's heart breaks, then actually both the people's heart
breaks. When a relationship breaks up,
heart breaks for both. If one is sad, then we think that
their heart is badly broken. The one who gets angry,
their heart also breaks equally, because they also did not get the thing
that they were expecting from you. So both of them have a heartbreak. Now who takes it how
is a different matter. According to you, why do you have
such
a huge fan following, what do people connect with, friendship? Friendship. I think, Vipul Sir says that I give a vibe of that senior in college
who takes everyone along. Yes. So it must still be coming from me. Yes. And 2-3 more people
have told me the same thing, and if Vipul Sir is saying,
then he has observed and lived his life. So that could be one reason,
which is true to a large extent. The second is that the present youth
of our country, demographically 65%
are youth in our country,
so that material is relatable to them. So if I am hitting their life, and they are more in the majority,
then the views will definitely come. You have become
a national-level college senior. Yes, you can say that. I am the senior in all the colleges,
I have lived in all the hostels. So that's another reason. The people who I targeted with my content, they are there in large numbers,
and so I get a lot of views. Bassi bro, did you also get a lot of
female attention after fame? I don't know
if it has increased, but female attention has never been
less in my life that I will say that it was not there at all,
I will never say anything like that. I think after fame, female attention increases in everyone's
life or the opposite sex's attention. It is also about whether you are
taking female attention or male attention, then only you will come to know
whether it has increased or decreased or something. It is very obvious that if a person
has become famous, then so many people
hav
e come to know them, now more people will know them and because you are famous
and they are also liking you, then some of them will pay attention
to you. Well, this is very obvious. But whether you are taking it or not, from that you will know
how much you are getting or not getting. I haven't taken it too much. Ok. Maybe you got an opportunity
to experience adult life in a different profession,
my change was straight after college that's why I feel that
my whole life experience changed, it
was a very big difference. Huge. Yes, and I missed out on that phase
that you have experienced. You have seen a normal adult's life, whereas I have seen only this straight
out of college. I agree. Again as a college senior,
I see that the young boys just like you haven't experienced those
4-5 years after college, you haven't lived that process,
the 18-19-year-olds... Tik-Tokers? Tik-Tokers or whoever, whatever content
they are creating in whatever field, sports person, or anything,
when
you get famous in that age, and you do not have a mentor or a senior or parents or elder siblings
having your back, then it is very difficult for you
to handle it mentally because you don't know how to. I myself agree that if I had this kind
of fame and money at the age of 24, I would be extremely high-headed, I would be living in my own world,
and I would be super arrogant. And this happens a lot, a lot! It's natural, it's nothing strange. If nobody has your back,
nobody is telling you to
be grounded, this is all temporary,
only blessed people get these things, so celebrate it and don't be arrogant, then this can happen with anyone,
it's very normal. But I am lucky that I did different jobs
for 4-5 years in my life, and lived that adult life
that you are mentioning, so I did not become high-headed. I feel I am blessed. Thank God, he had plans for me,
and that's why I live like this. As you said, why are you being friends
with everybody and talking to everybody? I can't be l
ike that,
I have lived it already. I have gone so low in life that now
I know the value of going up. How low have you gone? At the extreme bottom,
I didn't have anything. Tell us. For 2-2.5 months,
I did not even step out of the house, I didn't want to do anything,
I felt I wasn't able to do anything, I believed I was useless,
I am done, everything is finished! What was your age at that time? I think 27-28 years. So this wasn't directly after college? No, after 3-4 years. Why, what happene
d? Nothing, nothing was working out. I was preparing for UPSC, but I
understood that is not my piece of cake. Then I opened a restaurant
which shut down. I was doing the job, but I didn't like it. There was not much work,
but basically, there was no learning, so I find those tasks useless where
I get money but I don't learning anything. So I didn't feel like being there,
and I left it. Then I was sitting at home. From childhood, I used to think
that I'll do something big. The way I used to
be
in my school and college, basically, I used to do whatever task
I got. I was never a failure. If you ask me to study, I'll study,
if you ask me to play, I'll play, I am not saying that
I'll be the best at all of it, but I'll do better than expected. But at that time, I was not even doing
above average, not even average, so at the age of 26-27, one starts
feeling strange asking family for money. I felt bad that the upbringing
my parents have given me, they worked so hard for me, all th
ey knew was that only studies
can make me something in life, so they gave me everything,
but I might not have taken it seriously, I should have done something
with all that education, so you kind of feel bad asking them
to take care of you, because now it's my time
to take care of them. They have done whatever they had to do, they have spent their whole life
for that one dream that their children will get successful, so now it's our turn. So I felt very bad,
and that was my bottom. But I
could get over it
and things are okay now. How did you get over it? Nothing, I used to write and read a lot,
so I thought of writing something. I think I did not get selected for UPSC because I used to read everything except
the course books and syllabus. Give me anything interesting, I spent
6 months reading about Gulzar Sahab. So I thought of writing something. And that's how I thought of trying
my hand at stand-up comedy, because I can talk ****. So I searched on Facebook
where it happe
ns, and I got to know it's happening
in Gurgaon. I was amazed that it doesn't happen
in Mumbai, because I thought about 8-10 years back,
it might be happening only in Mumbai, it could no way be in Delhi, so I was so happy to know that
it's happening in Gurgaon, I was already going to Gurgaon. I was supposed to give an interview
at a company, so I applied there, Rohit used to take care of Canvas,
and he had a junior Akash, I sent him a mail. It was Akash, right, Rohit bro? I mailed Akash th
at I wanted to do this,
and he ask me for a script. I wondered what is the script. He asked me to send some jokes
of about 4 minutes. I said I don't have anything like that,
I'll just speak whatever comes to my mind. He asked me, what will you speak about? I said anything at all,
like I could not clear UPSC. I sent him some stuff like this
and he asked me to come. So I went and performed there
for 4 minutes, and people applauded. I was happy that
I killed it in the first go. But I had no
intention
of pursuing it further. I tried it as a hobby, because I thought it is quite cool to
get up on the stage and speak on the mic, Canvas Laugh Club was written behind me. So I asked for a video for myself too, they used to charge ₹2,500 at that time. I took that video,
and thought I have done it once, and I'll keep flaunting it for life, how talented I am,
I would have killed it at home! In just one video? Yes, I didn't know that it could
become a career. I did it because I felt like
it. And now? Now... Speak. Rohit bro has got a lot to do with it. He said, come for the next one,
you are a natural, if you do it properly, you can progress. And he was very strict at that
point in time, he didn't take any rubbish. He is still like that, a no-rubbish man! I think he is the best judge of jokes, because he has heard all of them
from everybody thousands of times. Since he asked, I said I'll surely come. I did it 2-3 times and then I started
enjoying it, and then here I am. So
it was just a fluke, man! Literally, God guided me to do it,
I said I'll do it, and he said, great, now keep doing it. You resemble Rohit Sharma slightly? I think every person with
a beard looks the same. We all look the same. If somebody has a long face, they go in the Aditya Roy Kapoor
category, if they are good-looking. Otherwise, all of us look the same. I look like Rohit Sharma. I look like Mohammad Sami,
if I keep a better beard. I can look like anybody with
the little here and there
of the beard. Ok. Do you consume podcasts at all? To be honest, I try. Ok. But I have not been able to. I really want to look for something
on Spotify and listen to it continuously. I think this addiction of Reels
is really bad. And my feed is rotten now,
so many dirty reels come in my feed bro, but it is fun to watch them! So dirty, I am telling the truth,
whomever I send, they block me. I started enjoying watching them so much
that I knew that I am not growing in this, but I am ready to d
rown. I want to see how much mess these
people can create. Such small children are talking
about heartbreak. There is a reel where he leaves
the girl's hand, then the other person holds it,
and then some other person. I really enjoy watching it
and that's why I am not able to watch anything worthwhile. Are you saying podcasts are worthwhile? Absolutely. You are getting to know somebody
else's perspective, there insights. So you guys are actually doing
a noble job. You are introducing us t
o
those people whom we can never go and talk to ourselves,
we do not get a chance to talk to them. We are actually talking to them
through you. We want to know all that from them, we are getting to know
what we want to know through you. So this is a big deal, bro. The human side of people is visible. We also want to see
the human side of anyone, we actually see it because of you,
so it's pretty awesome. Ok. What kind of labels generally do you get
from the public eye, according to you? I do
n't get it. I mean... What do you get? Ok, I'll give my example,
and then you answer for your own. Ok. Like I am given a label of
a toxic hustler, which means I promote
hard work way too much, and it's because when Reels
just got introduced, the game was algorithmic. Some topics got promoted a lot
in the algorithm and some didn't. I have done all kinds of content
in my career, but in that phase, motivational content did well
in the algorithm, so I created a lot of motivational
content, a
nd till now, that image of mine is
almost like a criticism. What is it, he always keeps asking
to hustle?! But I created content on healing,
traveling also, and a lot of things. Nobody has watched it. What? Nobody has watched those,
everybody has watched this one. Yes. Secondly, nowadays another label is
pseudo-science expert. Because I make podcasts
on ghosts and aliens. But I am questioning, that too people
who are spiritually very advanced. I don't think there is anything bad
in askin
g questions, but I think whenever you get
too much growth, your content or your name reaches
where it should not even reach, and it reaches people
who will never follow you. So Bassi bro, these are my labels,
now you tell us. Bro, my labels are that
I am funny, ok looking, ok person. Now I have done a movie also, so I think
I do good work in the future as well. These are my labels. Now I'll tell you the reason why. Whether you are a toxic hustler or not,
I didn't know this till now. Wheth
er you are a pseudo-science expert
or not, I didn't know. So I just believe that even you
shouldn't know these things. Because you told me only two labels
which are your most negative labels. I have never seen your content. When I got to know that I have to do
a podcast with you, and if somebody asked me
who is Ranveer Allahabadia, I would say he is a big influencer. So that is your label, ok? If you will choose only your
negative labels, then you doing wrong to yourself. When you say that
your content reached
where it should not have reached, that means you saw only that, because of course, negative comments
hurt you more as it catches your eye, you will not see the positives. You will not see 'Love you Bassi bro'. What you will see is
'What nonsense is this'. You will check the profile
of the person who wrote that, you will see that person has
only 70 followers, and you will be like, how can a person with only 70
followers say something like that to me? It depends on what
you take. You got 5 comments saying
'Love you Bassi bro'. Pay attention to that. Even if you are content reached
where it shouldn't have, pay attention to the fact that it reached
where it should have, and those people are more, so be there. If you stay there, all your labels
will be good, you get everything good. We don't meet people
who we don't want to meet. If someone has even commented negatively, they will never meet you
because they don't like you. People who like you will meet you
. So life is good! We just don't want the negative labels,
they can go to hell! First of all, I'd like to say thank you,
I felt your senior energy, and I want to give you
a conversational hug. Do this, this is trending. Secondly, genuinely since
I started with fitness, negative comments do not affect me
that much, because there is a lot of negativity
in the fitness world. I did different genres, there might be
a lot of negativity in that genre, I don't know if it is still there or not
be
cause I am no more in the fitness world, but I faced that at the age of 22, so I feel my emotional side died
in a nice way in that phase, so now I am ok with negative comments. I look at these labels objectively. And I understand
the perspective you came from, but this is not my life's problem. I'll actually like to ask you
one more question. At this stage, my life's problem is
work-life balance which might be your problem too. That's the only problem in my life. What do you mean? Work-life
balance is my major problem. What do you think about
work-life balance? Was this your problem pre-comedy as well? I didn't have any work,
there was no problem, there was only life. Earlier I had only life,
so I had a problem, there was no work, now I have work so there
is a work-life problem. But I think personally
it is very important to have a work-life balance in your life. But I personally think I don't pay
much attention to it as of now because I got a job with great
difficulty, I ha
d a life earlier also, it will be there in the future as well,
so I'll learn how to do it at some point. But for the time being,
I feel that I will continue to do whatever work I have got. I don't want to balance it right now
because I am telling the truth, I don't remember the last time
I slept properly. Same. I don't even have an idea. I go to the hotel, book the suite, we sit on the sofa, and so many times
I don't even go to that bed. I had also put a story earlier that
I did not reach
the bed which we had booked to sleep in. We sat in the hotel room, left there,
did the show, came back from the show, caught the flight at night,
changed the city, did the show there, and that's how it is everywhere. I'm telling you I've traveled
all over the world and I haven't seen a single place. I don't know, if someone asks me today
what I saw in Seattle, I will say that I went to a place,
I went to the top, there is a point, a sky point, I went there, but even after
reaching there, I
was still working. I was asking what is the scene
of the next show, when is it due. So the condition is bad. I had also written on it that my share
of sleep was divided in the cities, and my life was spent in hotels
in the insistence of building a house. So that just happened to me. I had taken a house on rent in Delhi, I have not sat at every place
in that house till date. I don't know what's in that whole house, I've sat on the same sofa
and slept on the same bed. I don't even know which
stuff is kept
where in the kitchen, because I haven't been there
for a total of 1 month in 1 year. Now I was telling you that I am going
to take a house in Mumbai also, I will not stay here either. So work-life balance
is a major problem for me, and I don't even know
how it will be fixed. But to be honest,
I don't even want to fix it, because I want to do whatever work
I am getting quietly and peacefully, because I got it with great difficulty,
so I want to do it right. So for this work
-life balance, you have
to ask someone else who is doing it. At least the relatability was felt that
you are also going through the same thing. Everyone is going through it,
no one knows what to do. Sleep and work-life balance. There is no peace at all in life, bro, who knows what is going on? This aspect of fame is not known
to the public in general, especially those people don't understand
this who put fame on a pedestal that they want to be famous
and get numbers on Instagram. You get n
umbers,
but if you want to sustain, then you have to live such a life. Absolutely. Getting success is one thing
and maintaining success is another thing. It takes a lot of effort to maintain it. Very few people understand this thing. Meaning everyone visualizes a reality
that maybe after 20-30 years we will have a house, a family,
and mom-dad will stay with us, but nobody visualizes the details
of those 20-30 years. Correct? What did you realize about
maintaining success? It is a continuou
s effort. It is not like once you got it,
you got it. It's not like a snake's gem
that it is there, and everything will continue
to happen from it. You have to do it every day,
you have to work hard every day, and the more you grow,
the more responsibilities you have, the more you have to get better, and at the same time
you have to work on your craft which is why you got everything, and because now you have become
a public personality, you have to evolve personally,
become a better huma
n being, because some people see you
as their idol, so now you have to be better personally. So overall it is too much work. Something or the other is going on,
and if we have to maintain it, it will take hard work,
so we are working hard, even if hard work is killing us,
we are doing it. Now someone sitting at home
calls me mad, okay bro, I accept,
I have a lot of work to do, leave me. I think a lot of people are thinking that how come you are saying
it happens only in the media, it happ
ens in our industry as well. It happens in every industry. People think anything,
so why listen to them, man, people can think anything,
people are idle. When you become a public personality, it adds another factor that people
are noticing your character as well. And what we talked about
Instagrammers and TikTokers, you are growing up in front of the world, which means you are spending your 20s
in front of the world, so obviously your character
is not perfect. I don't think that I am perfe
ct now, 3 years ago I thought that
I have become perfect, then I came to know that it is not true. It is necessary to be humble
in this world. And this character analysis,
character assassination, puts a different kind of pressure
on a famous person. And as you said that we do not have
any reference point, whom can we ask? I feel that if you are
an upcoming Bollywood actor, you can go and ask Aamir Khan,
or anyone else. Whom should we ask? We don't have any reference points, we are the fi
rst generation of digital. We are the first generation of digital, plus we all are doing different things. Nobody has done what you are doing. There can be 3-4 people
in this generation, but nobody might have done exactly
what you are doing. So you are the only one, it is your world, and you have to figure out how to do it. And secondly, about being humble,
personally I think when people say, 'You are very humble.' Obviously, it feels good,
everyone would like it. I love being praised,
keep
doing it as much as want. Your beard, your shirt! But those people
who tell any celebrity or an artist that, 'You are very humble', the point is everybody should be humble
whether they are a celebrity or not. If you say 'go away from here' to someone
who is asking you for food on the street, and you are not looking at them
the way you should, then even you are not humble, are you? No matter what you do,
even if you work in a bank, if you do this, then you are not humble. If you don't look a
t the person below you
or the needy in the way you should, then you are also not humble in life. So telling an artist that
they are very rude, did not even take a photo
and went away, they are not humble at all, if you are saying this for a person
whose work you like, you appreciate their work, and then you speak like this about them,
then you are also not humble. Humbleness comes in every aspect
of your life, you talk to any person, you do something for another person, then it reflects yo
ur humanity
and how you are, so you must be humble everywhere. The thing is that now that
I have reached this stage, so I have to remain humble, all I am saying is that I had to
remain humble anyway in life. It must be an integral part of my life
if I am a good person. It is not that I have become an artist,
so I have to remain humble. If sometimes I will feel I shouldn't be
humble, then I won't be. So that's the point, rest I've forgotten
why I was doing this nonsense. Honestly, do you k
now
what we were talking about? Men's emotional health
and men's emotional health problems. People are afraid of such talks, honestly. I am not scared, go on. Honestly, most bro groups, if you are
meeting your bro group in parties, you are drinking together,
you are chilling, and if anybody starts getting vulnerable, somebody else cracks a joke
to break the tension, and that joke is also nice
but that doesn't solve my problems. And I used to do this with one of
my bros, his name is Zervaa
n Bunshah. I know him since I was 14 years old,
so he stayed in my life for 16 years, and we have seen a lot together. But for the last 5 years,
I've only spoken nonsense with him. This is how our relationship was,
we both were friends and talked nonsense. He tried to share something serious
with me, and my automatic bro response was,
I made fun of him! This is our natural instinct as guys that
sometimes we unknowingly brush off what our bros share with us. Do you agree? Yes, I even make jo
kes. Boys can never be serious together. They don't get it,
they don't think it's going to work. Just make fun of each other,
just spoil each other's lives, and that is an unsaid rule among boys
not to talk serious stuff, and they don't even feel bad. And it also works like a medicine
in a way. Yes, it's very much like let's see
what's going to happen, that's the attitude. Now whether it's right or wrong,
I will not get into that debate, but this is how it is. Tho it's not, like in my perso
nal groups, if somebody has something important
to share, we do get serious about it, it's just
that we can't be like that for too long. After some time you feel like
cracking a joke, you feel like I'll make him understand
I am with him, but I have the right to call him
a fool once. That is an integral part of friendship. If friends don't insult each other,
then what's the point? The more you abuse,
the better friends you are. Yes, the more you insult. The worst things you can say
to the
other person, the more you can love them. I don't know why it's like among boys I feel bad thinking about it,
but it is so. Well, I am saying content-wise, I think there is going to be
a wave of content, and content is always
a reflection of the culture that is whatever is happening in the world, if you create content on those things,
then your content will work. So a wave of men's emotional health
is coming into the world. It has already started in America, and now people in India will tal
k about it because there is a deep logic behind it,
think about it. I feel that our fathers' and their fathers' generations did not
get classes on how to be a good father, and there are a lot of things that
should be in a father's role. You learn a lot of life skills
from your mother, and you should learn a lot
from your father, but the generation of our fathers
did not get the training on how to explain some things to their sons. Do you agree? Can I give another perspective? I am about to
turn 30,
and I want to learn from a guy in his 30s, so explain it to me from that perspective. Yes. I will share my personal experiences. There are a lot of things that
I found in therapy that I got affected by my childhood. If something else had happened
at that time, I might not have gone into those things,
I would be doing something better, ok? There are a lot of things that I feel my
parents should've taught me at that time. I won't talk about what
those things are, but I am just telli
ng you something. I expected a lot from my father
which he didn't teach me. I do not consider this thing
as stubbornness, I know that yes,
it should have been there. But on the other hand,
I also know that what my father did was not even possible for a human being to do
in those situations. It was not his responsibility
to do everything. He is not a perfect man. He was also living his life,
he was also learning every day. So I am thankful for whatever he did. Now what I can learn from thi
s is,
when I become a father, I will cover up for those things, but still my child may have
complains from me that I didn't teach them exactly what that generation
would come to know at that time. So it is a continuous process. So rather than getting deep into these
things that what should have been done, it's better to delve into
how we can make it more acceptable now. Inculcate those things in yourself
and try to better yourself, then things will be fine in the future. I am not saying th
at if I say,
it will be done, or if you think, it will be done. One can go for therapy or meditation,
it can take a lot of time, but do it. It's just that blaming is not right. Instead of blaming we should move ahead
because we are at that age. Technically, if we see, you are 30 years old and you are thinking
about what your father did or not. At the age of 21,
my father became a father. If I had a child at the age of 21, I swear I would give them
such a bad upbringing because I didn't kno
w how to behave,
and I still don't know how to behave. So he did that,
and we are the next generation. If we are like this,
they were far better than us. Ok, I'd like to give you two perspectives. Go ahead. One perspective is that
I am still navigating the subject, and that's why I'm asking you
this question. And as far as I know by navigating
mental health, at least in India, mostly there are childhood factors
related to your mental health, and your parental relationships
majorly decide
your adult mental health
and adult decisions, this is what mainly happens in India
as told to me by a psychologist. That's why I brought up parents so early. The other perspective is I did not have
a great relationship with my father, I guess I have not spoken properly
with him for 20 years, and it is a common problem in India. A lot of boys don't talk enough
to their fathers. Sometimes they may not be able
to express themselves, or they are not able to talk
due to some incidents, or like
in my case,
it is alpha versus alpha at home. If some person is alpha,
they are alpha from childhood. Correct? At least that's how it was in my case,
and that's what I have noticed. We both were Alpha at home, so we were
always in conflict since childhood. Then at the age of 29 almost,
I am about to turn 30, last year in June,
something happened in my life, and I spoke about that incident
in my podcast, consider it therapy. So from therapy,
I realized all the problems in my life, whethe
r in my personal life
or mental health related, will be solved when
I solve my things with him. So I tried to solve things
with him in this one year. Your parents always did
what they thought was right, they took those decisions
in that situation. So even at the age of 30,
I still don't blame my dad, but definitely I blame the circumstances
and the lack of content, which is also not his fault,
YouTube exists in today's generation. But what can I do to heal myself? Maybe the future genera
tions of dads, I can only tell them about
what to watch out for. That's what I am saying,
instead of blaming your father, inculcate some things in yourself
so that you can be a good father. You will still not be appreciated. That's not the point. The point is, I personally feel if you
know that your trauma has not been healed, so first of all, go for therapy. Don't be scared of therapy. And you know very well, just writing 'mental health is very important'
on Instagram is not going to help,
you will have to work on it. I have also taken therapy,
I have improved, and I am still working on it,
I still sometimes lose it. Who knows I may go for it again! So go for it, take therapy,
and you will realize that this happened
because of your childhood. Not everything is because of childhood, but most of it is because of childhood, so this was the problem and now I know it. So now I try to improve on it. Obviously, I won't be able to do it
completely, it is in the past, it's already do
ne. Have a better relationship with parents. If you not able to do that,
maybe if not been talking to them only, but at least now you know the problem,
so let's stick to that. Don't keep a grudge against them,
that's only going to disturb me. I have learned that,
and now I'll move on. Now I know the root cause of my problem, and now I will start to improve myself. This is the process, and if we follow
this process, we'll be better. Now if I just sit here and keep saying, my father didn't te
ll me this
at that time, otherwise, I would be
the Prime Minister today. Isn't this nonsense? When we cannot change the past,
then why the blame game? Simply just give up on your life It's like that particular individual did
something to you in that particular circumstance,
and that has spoiled your whole life, that means you altogether
changed the meaning of life! That means if you are still
in that situation, you are mentally f***** up at that time. Whatever you are doing
to any other p
erson, you are doing something wrong, isn't it? You are not with them 100%. You yourself are not
in the right frame of mind, so you are spoiling that also. So if something is happening,
I also may have done it a number of times, but I am trying to improve it rather
than telling them to fix their past, I would rather try to fix my future. I think if we try to do that,
we can be happier. If we indulge in a blame game,
I don't think it's of any use. Do you know what is the challenge here? The
challenge is that forgiveness
is a very difficult thing. I think it is the most difficult thing, but I am very lucky that
I am able to do it. One thing I don't find so good about
it is that since I forgive, I expect the other person to also
forgive me every time. That's where sometimes I expect
that since I forgave, why didn't they? That's obviously wrong from my end,
it's their wish, and they want to keep the grudge. So that's fine,
but I am lucky that I'm able to do it. I don't keep gru
dges against anyone. I don't think that I remember a time
when somebody did something to me. Don't you use the situations
like motivation? To motivate myself? Yes. I'm anyways motivated. Ok. I really like to work. It could be any work, whatever I may do. I can't sit idle. When I do take off these days,
I come to do a podcast. Technically, I should be watching a movie
sitting at home comfortably right now. So I am always motivated, man. I like to do other things,
I will get to learn somethin
g, meet new people,
and get to know more stuff. Correct me when
I will give you a perspective if you think that
it is a wrong perspective. I met a college friend of mine
after a long time, and they said something,
and I was like 'Absolutely right.' They said, people of my age like 28-30,
there has been a f*** up in their life, whether with family, or in a relationship
like they just got married and now they getting a divorce,
there is some f*** up in their career, but there is a big f***
up. Did you notice this
in your late 20s or early 30s? Some f*** up is happening because
when you just pass out from college, you feel that by 29-30, things
will be sorted, but that's not true. Generally, a big f*** up happens
in everybody's life. I'll give you my perspective,
I am correcting you as you said. There was a f*** up in my life. I would like to call it a major f*** up
because if I call it minor, I will not get attention. Who did that f*** up? I did. Who's failure was that? Min
e. Who was wasting time? Me. Who was not studying in college? Me. Who was not taking
their job seriously? Me. Now if I say that this f*** up
happened to me, it did not happen to me, I did it. It can happen with somebody
in a relationship, genuinely a bad f*** up in a relationship. It's okay, you were unlucky,
f*** up happened! Now saying that everybody faces
a major f*** up at the age of 28-30, it is nonsense, because nobody is perfect. There is a f*** up happening
in everybody's life, and
it will keep happening. If there is no f*** up, that means we've
a book to tell us what to do every day. We will keep doing that,
and things will be fine. And if you have this book,
and there is no f*** up in your life, then what is the fun in life? Why would we struggle? Either you have so much money, I am not like Daniel that you'll only get
to see the positive aspects of my life. I am living this life, f*** ups
will happen to me, things will go wrong,
and good things will also happen.
It's just that, the problem with us is,
I am not so elder than you, I am only 2-3 years older than you,
I just passed this age, we celebrate the good things less,
and talk about bad things more. We never say that I was very happy,
but we say big f*** up happened. We see happiness in such a way
that yes, it was there. Even if we get something, we say,
I deserved this much. No man, you got it, keep it with respect, ok,
keep it carefully, everyone didn't get it, there are very few people who
got it. Today, sitting here, if I go out
and tell my friends, I am tired, I have done a lot of work, I cannot sleep. I can tell you this because
we are talking about this right now. If I go and tell a friend
who does a job that I do not get sleep, the salary in which he is running
his house, he also does not get to sleep. And me being in a situation
where I have everything, if I talk this nonsense with him,
tell him about my f*** ups, it is absolute nonsense. It's just that celebrate
the
good things in life more, even if we celebrate them
at a mediocre level, then also it will be fixated
in our mind that we have happiness. That's why as a person, become my friend, then you can observe my life
and what I have done with myself. I celebrate every f****** thing,
and I celebrate it as it is my last party, whether it's the anniversary day
when I started doing stand up, or my birthday, or New Year, or Diwali,
or my movie is released, or my special is released,
or anything else.
I throw a party of 200-250 people, I don't care how much money is spent
but I celebrate it. It's just that I need to see my joys
at that level in my life, and even f*** ups are there. I don't want to feed the f*** ups, because I've already done this stupidity
when I was 26-27 years old. I faced a slight sadness, and then
I stuck to it as if I am super sad. As I said earlier, it is very easy to say and take sympathy from
the other person that I am very sad, nothing is happening in my life.
I've done this. Such moments still come
when I feel like doing it again, but I say it only to my very close
people that I need a hug. So it's coming through
a different emotion now. When I just started doing stand-up,
when I was not even viral, I made this promise to myself that
I'll never again get sad and give up, no matter how big a f*** up happens,
because life is not perfect, f*** ups will keep happening, so I will have to learn to overcome it
and let bygones be bygones. Why should I
still be
in the same situation? Why should I delve into
what the other person did to me? Why didn't I get that thing
when I deserved it? If I keep doing this, I am losing out on
so many other things. I should be somewhere else
to look for the next upcoming thing. But if I keep sulking that
why didn't I get selected for UPSC, and certainly a lot of people
would be sulking right now, then I am only wasting my time. I'll keep counting these f*** ups,
they have no value, they are of no use,
and it's time to move on
and do something else. Who knows where life is headed? I went up the stage just to vent
my frustration, because I was very happy. I handled my failure so well,
and the only reason for it is that my failure would not be a failure
if I had done things properly. I misbehaved with myself,
then how can I complain about what happened in my life? Are you a fool? How can you say that it's a bad world? Look at what you have done?! That's why I took it very happily,
so I di
d that on stage one day, and because of that 4-minute performance,
I have done a movie today. So I just kept moving on,
I never slacked in my work, and I was never sad again! Just go to hell! Shit happens! I want to ask you something,
it's a slightly personal question, and don't answer if you don't want to,
we can edit it out or not if you say by you are not answering it. Sorry, I want to say one more thing
before we move on. Sure. What will happen if I said this thing,
now some person will
make a Reel of it. They will only pick up the part
in which I am saying that, There's no such thing as f*** up, move on! Yes. He will take a small part and post it, ok. Now there are frustrated people there, whose life is messed up,
they will write that, Yes look, he became successful,
that's why he is doing ****, otherwise then... Ok. so I want to say right here
as a pre-intimation The person who cut the part
and made the Reel, should also make it
for the remaining part. So I want to say
that
I am not saying so clearly that if there is a f*** up in your life,
then ignore it and move on. I am not telling you to move on like this. Or the people who are reviewing
this podcast, same logic, don't highlight just one part. I am not saying that
it will happen like this. I am saying take time,
this is what I always say, I have also said on TikTok that
take time, take 6 months, take 1 year, try to better that thing, but just don't sit lifelong thinking
that this happened to me. So
take time and do it comfortably,
it will happen. I am not saying that it will happen
overnight, so there is no need to abuse me
by making useless Reels, I have talked very normal. Can you share your learning specifically
when you went to therapy? Meaning everyone's therapy learning
is different, for example, my therapy learning was
what I said about my father, what was your specific learning? My specific learning was that I was
taking my life very casually. Whatever happened to me
in my
childhood or any other time, I know I cannot fix that
nor can I blame anybody, there is no logic in that. So I can only improve myself
and not do the same with anybody else, that's one thing. The second thing which is major,
which is the bigger chunk is that I was not taking my life seriously,
I was very casual. I was always like,
we'll see what happens, and I am still like that. But at least today I am working hard,
I take my work very seriously, because I have started enjoying this work.
At that time, I did not enjoy my work, and that's why I was not able
to take it seriously. But because of that, my attitude was
becoming very casual. So basically the therapist told me that
I should take myself seriously. So that was my basic learning, and I understood that I need to give it
some importance and start working hard on it and myself. I have to do it if I want to be fit,
only thinking about it will not help. So that's mental health,
if you want to be fine, you will have to wo
rk on it. So I did that,
I will not get into the details. The second learning is that
it is very expensive, man! This is insolence! They took so much money,
don't know whether it is okay or not! Return my money! Basically, they highlighted discipline? I did not discipline myself that much,
but the discipline was highlighted, that change your approach a little,
be a little sensible, then only it will happen. How can you not do anything for 5 days,
5 boys are lying just around, they have not
hing to do with the world,
they ate if they got food, they did not eat if they didn't get food,
they ate what they got, and then they are saying
why is our life is not getting better?! It'll happen only when you do something,
get out of the house, and do something! Rohit Sharma bro,
no Bassi bro, one last question. What to expect from the 30s,
from whatever you have learned? I know you're probably only 32 or 33,
but still because when I was 22, I wish someone had told me
a lot of things
, that I'm trying to do now through content that people in their 20s
should know. In the same way, people in their 30s,
actually what should I know about 30s? I don't know, my 30s have just started. Whatever you have learned. Specifically from the 30s? I think one should marry after
a lot of thinking. Don't think that if you are 30
or 32 or 35, then you should get married. Because it is a very important decision
in life. Sometimes you yourself are unprepared, there is no need to ruin the l
ife
of the other person, because they may be prepared,
and unnecessarily their life gets spoiled, and you just did it because
you were losing hair. This is no logic. So do that after a lot of thinking
in your 30s. I don't know if I have anything more,
but as I am learning, I will tell you in the next podcast. What can you expect from 30s? Everything will happen, what to expect. Ok. Keep working, that's all there is. Be happy, keep working, have fun, and celebrate every little thing
with fr
iends. I am telling you that I have benefited
a lot from this thing. Celebrate every little thing. When you celebrate even small happiness, then you start feeling that life
is important. If you ignore small things saying
it was bound to happen, then I feel that you do not enjoy them, then you do not even celebrate
big things too much. No, nothing is right. You are getting this much, celebrate that, not everyone is getting it,
what you are getting is a lot. Bassi bro, the podcast is done. Gr
eat, it was fun! He quickly stopped the camera,
was he fed up with us? So this was the podcast. It was fun,
thank you so much for having me. Same, it was nice talking to you. I had expected some
deep philosophical things. And saying this again, all stand-up
comics are philosophers in a way. They observe human life,
drawing their content from there, and learning a lot about life as well. So people like you give us
the best podcasts, as in the deepest podcasts. And I would like to say one la
st thing
that I learned from podcasts only, through spiritual podcasts or after
talking to film stars or cricketers. Circumstances play
a very big role in every person's life, and we call it destiny. And I definitely feel that destiny exists, and you can also change your destiny
definitely through hard work and prayer. But some people have a destiny
of extreme fame. I definitely feel that you are
one of those people, where you've already got a lot of fame
and there's more in the future. T
hank you! And I genuinely believe that God
gives fame to those people who have a clear heart
and they have things to say, their opinions should be given a pedestal. That's what I feel. And I feel that you have
a lot of good opinions, you need to be asked the right questions. So all the best! Thank you bro, I didn't know
these things about myself! You said such deep things at the end. You tell me what should I do in my 30s? Let me ask you. I'll only observe your journey,
even if I never meet
you again. I definitely want to podcast
with you again, but even if I don't meet you again... We'll do it again after 2 years
because I am also evolving every day, I am also trying to evolve every day,
so it's possible that after 2 years, I might disagree with a few things
I said today, I might learn something new,
so definitely we will. I would say let's do one every year. If it is the same, then we'll not post it. If there is a change, then we'll post it. We will say that it's before and
after. If I learn something better,
we will do it again the next year, we'll do it every year, done! Sure! I learned a lot from you Bassi bro. Thank you! It was nice meeting you! I also enjoyed it! In the end, nobody will make stupid Reels! If you want to see, see the whole thing,
otherwise don't. I keep watching Reels the whole day. This is the magic of podcasts! Thank you friends, thank you Bassi bro! Thank you bro! Come back soon on TRS! Done! Thank you! Friends this was today's episode. A
gain, I will not say anything
in the outro. Just got to say that
after this conversation I feel I have found a lifelong brother,
honestly. After this podcast, when I met Bassi at
an event, I felt a very deep connection. And I think this is the magic of podcasts, you can completely enter
the heart of another person, and you can talk
with a heart to heart connection. I am just living a very blessed life
creating this podcast. Tell us what else to talk about
with this person. I feel he make
s everybody laugh,
but he has the capability because of which a lot of young people, especially young men can learn
a lot about emotional health, mental health, and spiritual health. This was Anubhav Singh Bassi on TRS, and we will come back soon
with a great episode.
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