good evening I'm Tom Tucker bringing you news you heard four hours ago on the internet our top story a mishap in COG Harbor today that's right Tom a ferry carrying a shipment of brand new Mercedes benzes from Germany crashed and sank just a few miles off our Coast thus far the cars remain on the ocean floor as the Germans refuse to clean up the disaster the German environmental Minister called a press conference to issue the following statement I see nothing I know nothing holy crap did you hear
that Lois all them fancy cars out there in the ocean just free for the taken I'm going to get me a Mercedes Peter that may be the stupidest idea you've ever had and you've had some pretty stupid ones hi there Peter Griffin you know a lot of us here at Family Guy are frankly sickened by the sorry state of education in this country and how little you people read anymore so for this next cutaway we're going to make you read it that's right you heard me do a little work once in a while instead of h
aving everything spoonfed you want your yucks put in a little effort all right go ahead okay that one might have been more of a visual but you feel that feeling you got right now that's satisfaction you just read something and no one can take that away from you proud of you [Music] jeez you're a mess what is that that was finger paint day what the hell why didn't they clean you up before you left Brian there's like 37 other kids in there one was in a drawer all day wow it seems like Lois would h
ave checked that stuff out before sending you yeah You' think so right I mean it's clearly not a place of business it's someone's house you know half the time you can hear someone showering I mean you never see them but you can hear the shower going really that seems weird yeah and isn't normal that miss Emily tied us all to the sink while she went out to return a birthday present no that's not normal at all you know Stewie maybe I should come by tomorrow and check things out that teacher sounds
really irresponsible she is adults are stupid the world would be so much better if it were run by babies tonight on NBC shapes and then colors followed by an allnew Dad's keys man I can't wait to get a Mercedes me either that's going to be sweet whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa what the hell is that a sun hat no no no no no what do you mean no I'm protecting my face and neck from the Sun use sunscreen you don't need to put a circus on your head this is a ploy for attention sunscreens are bad for you th
e chemicals get in your skin boy you really want to wear that hat that Hat's coming off no you guys are jerks I can have my own identity besides you too not this way not the Hat way holy crap I think we got one ah damn it it's just a dolphin sorry did I get in the way of something no it's all right we were just trying to get some of them sunken Mercedes oh yeah there's a great big pile of them down there me and my mates right we was having a laugh sitting in one of them pretending to be people y
ou know like driving around getting into incidents with other motorists H HK stay out the way you old bat Asian not all Asians are bad drivers no no not all terrorists are Arab but you know they are so uh well I'm Peter and that's Joe and that's Quagmire name's Billy Billy Finn it's got Finn in it I didn't pick it luck of the draw say you want me to try and get you one of those cars from down there yeah you would do that well I could try here let me give it a go he seems nice he does yeah so uh
what do you have planned for the summer I'm sure he'll be right back sorry mate all I could get was this hood ornament this is just as good thank you so much he you know if there's ever anything I could do for you actually you could do something you could eat only dolphin safe tuna wait is that the brand that costs 5 cents more more now I can't do that things ain't so good in America right now which is why we're all so [Music] fat what did I tell you Brian it's a nightmare in here oh my [Music]
god oh what happened to that kid he fell off a stool trying to turn off Mori Povich this is awful where's your teacher probably out back excuse me are you miss Emily yeah hi who are you uh Brian Brian steel I was just dropping Stewie off oh yeah I should probably go back in there see how everyone's doing I guess ah they're fine in fact I see Stewie reading a book scratch and sniff Lindsay Lohan goes jogging oh God that's terrible oh here's a pop-up book Tommy Lee goes boating [Music] move Lois y
ou're on the hood ornament pillow Peter put that away it's time for bed wait wait hang on Lois before I go to bed I got I just got to do one thing hello hey Mr pment it's me Peter you remember how you said I'd never amount to nothing is that a Mercedes Peter hang up the phone my God who could be at the door at this hour I don't know but this late has got to be bad news every everyone knows you always get bad news in the middle of the night wake up wake up wake up huh what you have cancer what ye
ah I thought you should know okay go back to sleep wait I have questions it's very late oh hello this is the right house that's good then what the hell it's me Billy Billy Finn just want me to take you up on your nice offer from earlier what I I don't what offer you know the bit about if there's ever anything I can do you so yeah oh yeah yeah thought I might make a go of it on land so anything you can ever do here I am thank you squid proquo thank you for not being shellfish I just said that for
the halibut fish puns oh God oh God come on let me in Peter who is it is mag dead it's that dolphin I think he wants to crash here and I have no info on Meg he wants to what I'm not sure that I brought a gift put it to your ear you can hear the [Music] ocean it's broken or something all I hear is it's Billy Ocean oh God I got loads more I think you and I are going to have a lot of fun together so Billy I uh I hope the couch was all right yeah a lot better than the floor and I should know cuz I
went down on the floor thinking it had to be a lot better than the couch okay well breakfast is ready oh uh is everything all right yeah and well it's just would you mind tossing it up in the air for me well I don't know he is our guest toss it in the air uh I'm used to a little Applause so all right not bad afternoon crowd lightly attended so Billy how long will you be staying with us are you kidding as long as he wants yay we live with a dolphin correct Fatso anyway I'm off to read Meg's diary
only been here one night but I get the sense we all dislike Meg um I'm a dolphin smart intuitive also Peter told me in the hall Peter I'm not so sure about Billy staying here with us what are you talking about he's hilarious I don't know listen just leave it to me I'm great with animals you remember when I lived with those ants we're working on [Music] something yes may I help you hey put him down who are you I I can't stop him can anyone stop him no well he's gone hey Stewie how's it going rig
ht ran what are you doing here came by to check on my pal where's uh miss Emily I haven't seen her yet today she gave me the keys to open up when she left yesterday I thought you said you were going to talk to her I did and and she's she's doing her best you know she's got a lot on her plate she's got school she's got work this is her work oh hi Brian I thought you had a busy day at your legal practice oh hey Emily yeah I I had some time between cases I thought I'd see how you were doing that's
so nice of you let me just put these bags away and throw some Saltines in the yard for the kids you're disgusting hey I'm sorry but miss Emily and I have a connection which is totally unexpected and by the way I actually think she's doing a pretty good job she's teaching you guys Independence we won Independence means we die do you like this I just got it say you like it or she's going to spend the rest of the afternoon out returning that stuff looks great wow you really fill these things up hey
do you think maybe you'd want to hang out sometime what you mean like a movie or something yeah or or maybe lunch I had a bad experience last time I went to the movies we're good friends aren't we Milo we're best friends Otis no no I reject the premise of [Music] this okay who's ready for family movie night all right tonight's selection Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland in 3D now let's all sit down and take our headache or or or we could watch The Cove The Cove isn't that that horrible documenta
ry where they kill all the fish Dolphins actually well yeah but this one was in a video store under Ethan's pics come on Peter Billy's Our Guest all right we'll watch The Cove oh my God I don't want to see this I know you can't tell this but the one who's about to get a throat cut she's sort of hot what what what are you doing what do you think I'm doing you're stooling what you got to do that in here well where else am I supposed to do it I can't just do it on the floor can I you'd be all like
oh who left this coil of rope on the floor it's very comes out very ropey is my point but I got to take a bath go on then we're both men well all right I guess there you go look at that what is whoa solar eclipse blocking the sun do not look directly at it what what what what what what the hell what are you doing I'm just making a comment um need to know summer do you hear the word morbidly a lot this is not fair okay again I'm going to ask one more question and don't take this wrong way but hav
e you actually got a penis yes where where is it where is it it's in there are you sure so it's like Mr snufaloffagus is it what the hell with is Lois get the ruler we're measuring again and this time I decide where the base is sent I'm reading the Funnies and right before I get to the last panel Billy blurts out he he goes he goes you know those firemen showed up to get a cat out of the tree but it turns out it's really maduk up there it ruined the whole damn thing Peter in Billy's defense the
strip is called maduk and maduk had not yet made an appearance you probably should have seen that coming I tell you he was fun at first but now I'm not sure I can take much more of him living here well Peter you've more than paid back your debt to him I mean what did he do he he got your hood ornament if you ask me it's time for him to go yeah you're right plus the sooner we get him out of here the sooner I can get back to my cocaine and doll houses dinner is served get out Dy what's going on ar
en't you supposed to be at daycare I escaped what happened to your arm I finally stood up for all of us and told miss Emily we should be given a proper for lunch and not just what's left over from her Baja Fresh and she said I shouldn't raise my voice and pulled me really hard into the other room and my arm came out of its socket are you sure are you sure you didn't just sleep on it funny does this look like I slept on it funny I'm going to tell Mom mom you are not going anywhere I finally have
a date with Miss Emily tomorrow and I'm not going to let you or anybody else get in my way until I have seen every inch of her naked do you even hear yourself and what am I supposed to do about my arm I'll just pop it back in you most certainly will not I need to go to a hospital ran is Stewie in there with you Mom we're in here Lois he's napping relax I'm going to pop it back in get in there come come on hold still [Music] Stewie I'm not saying I like pain but I'm not saying I don't like it eit
her hey uh listen Billy it's been fun having you stay here but we really need to talk about making some new Arrangements oh do we is this because there's some kind of problem with the hood ornament no that's it's that's it's it's fine oh good good that's good to hear it dawned on me that the only thing better than you having one of them would be you having two of them don't you say those things don't you say those things unless they're true yeah be quite a thing for you to have two of them would
n't it would it ever wonderful the best very fancy now what was it you wanted to talk to me about nothing nothing TR tack an hour what are you doing here Peter I'm standing here on your front porch hoping to kill that dolphin with this Harpoon Japan they K things that we like [Music] so the thing about dolphin lullabies is that they're all in the key of E [Laughter] E that's loud I get why that's factual I don't see why it's funny hey what the hell man drink beer much I just learned that much th
ing from the Telly hey here's a question when are you going back to the ocean yeah I mean don't you have family back there are you to but not anymore um the wife won't have me back threw me out actually well maybe you should talk to her Peter believe me if she'd take me back I'd go in a second but she won't so as much as I love her moot point moving on well got to go and drain the eel it's electric my penis hey throw darts much boy I see what you're saying Peter Billy's a n yeah and P.S that guy
doesn't throw darts much he's [Music] new Peter I thought you said you were going to ask Billy to leave he's still sleeping on the couch out there I know Lois but I found out he's only here cuz his wife kicked him out so I figured out a way to kill two birds with one stone like this the key to that Lois is Big Rock small birds oh and I also figured out how to achieve two goals with one action see I'm going to help Billy get back together with his wife and then he'll move out and stop annoying u
s how do you plan to do that are you kidding I'm great at getting people back together I even recorded a song about it reunited and it feels so good doing someone that you used to do that's what this song's about you could find someone else but this seems a little easy you already have [Music] number hey guys everybody having fun playing with what what what is that a piece of wood with a with a nail in it neat he can't hear you there was a kitchen explosion today and half the kids are deaf oh hi
Brian hey Emily wow you look great you ready to go yeah one sec I'm leaving honey okay babe have fun I'm probably just going to take a a couple more showers who was that that's my boyfriend Devon are you ready for lunch what you did to these kids there is a special place in hell for people like you come on let's go home man when she gets to jail she's going to be major Li Chow she sure is Stewie she sure is I'm telling you Peter you're wasting your time she's never taking me back well you'll ne
ver know until you try hey I brought this Shack of garbage from my home where do I put this just anywhere yeah yeah anywhere yay people all right here she comes oh hello Joanne Billy what are you doing here he's here because he loves you and he wants to patch things up hey how come you ain't got boobs you like a runner or something who's this then he's just a friend trying to help look Billy I don't care what you or your fat friend here has to say it's over H well thanks for trying I I knew she
wouldn't listen to you though well maybe so but I know someone she'll have to listen to Hey gang I'm Aquaman get back together that's not Aquaman Billy what is going on let me answer that look Joanne Billy had nothing to do with this it was just a dumb plan my buddies and I put together because we know how much Billy loves you and he misses you very much look just give him another chance and if you won't do it for me do it for fish Jesus do you have fish Jesus of course he was nailed to a board
and hung in a man's study as a novelty to sing funny songs your guard is a gag gift did you know that would you excuse us is it true Billy do you really miss me Joanne I am so sorry sorry I promise I'll do better you know what I had to live on the land to learn there might be a million fish in the sea but there's only one you oh Billy oh look at that that's nice oh cool they're already using my [Music] garbage hey Brian thanks for helping get rid of Miss Emily although I've got to say my new pre
school teacher is even hotter really yeah let me know if you want his number oh you okay now just stay like this and let Peter and Lois finish their thing well Peter you did a really nice thing helping Billy get back together with his wife yeah and the best part is he's out of the house and back in the ocean I guess everything worked out for everybody is a mighty [Music] Hall anybody know how to empty the reservoir on a real doll cuz the website is mostly testimonials Peter of course you know wh
at today is yeah Donald southerland's birthday and maybe another special day National duction day oh Peter you forgot our anniversary again didn't you what no no I got I got you an awesome gift but you can't see it until tonight tonight wh why tonight oh you'll see tonight is going to be amazing you're going to smile bigger than I did when I was on a cover of Mad Magazine you kids don't remember mad or magazines fortunately I'm on broadcast television what me worry okay me worried I wonder how o
ld Donald southernland is today I don't know pretty old he looks good though and you know what I think the key there is never looking good Brian Quick Check out your 6:00 or or your 9:00 I can't tell time a perfectly good mini fridge well you're going to have to fight Danny deito for it would you look at that a perfectly good normal size fridge you know what if this works I'm going to put it in my room Stewart you're too little to have a fridge in your room think whatever you want Brian but I'm
taking this before Danny DeVito gets it that's all right kid I don't need it anymore Danny deito got by a magic mosquito Danny DeVito and the magic mosquito now streaming on peacock hearing a lot of [Music] Buzz there he is here comes the groom jeez even you guys know it's my anniversary how is that possible it's easy I follow your wife you mean on Instagram yep Peter let me guess you forgot your anniversary again yeah what's worse I lied and I told Lois I had an awesome gift plan for tonight if
I don't come up with something amazing I am so screwed hey you want to give Lois a treat popcorn ucopia now there a little outfit out there in Fort Wayne Indiana family-owned and operated for five generations over there in The Crossroads of America Indiana state motto and get this they make a metal canister with three different kinds of popcorn but they're separated maybe you Sugg just take Lois out to a fine restaurant now I can hear some of you saying Joe why separated none of us are saying t
hat Joe okay here's why three flavors of popcorn in one tin and they don't mix unless of course you want them to mix this is a home run man kind of short notice to get a good table at any restaurant I don't think you appreciate that they don't mix your caramel corn stays separate from your cheese corn which stays separate from your corn corn you see in the past you would need three tubs of corn yes we get it we know about the corn Joe honestly I don't think you do forgive me for Eaves dropping b
ut I have a flat bottom Dory with a quiet outboard I'd be glad to lend you full moon tonight why not take your bride on a romantic cruise around Cog Harbor you know what I think Lois would like that oh a romantic boat ride is the perfect surprise you bring along a tub of popcorn cuz it t waterproof and if you'd like I could also row up alongside you and play Brandy on the accordion yeah no just a boat thanks I always drive past my exit Lois is going to love this Peter she's going to think you're
a true romantic like Michael Douglas so who wants to hear how I think I got mouth cancer she's uh she's h this one [Music] before check it out Rupert juice box boom go Goods yep and most importantly for freshness an open box of army hammers baking powder now with 40% more fingers pretty much all he had to do was not eat people how the hell did you get that up here with no help from you thanks but you know what you still get a cola huh convenient I guess can's not so cold though yeah everything
in there is either lukewarm or Frozen solid Stewie I still think it's a bad idea for you to have this thing in here yeah not really looking for advice from the guy who puts a fire emoji on all do a leap's Instagram posts she's not going to respond Bri she used to respond before she had so many fans she was 14 and she thought you were 11 because you said you were 11 because I was 11 see you're still saying it well happy anniversary Lois HH did I tell you isn't this nice you know I have to admit I
had my doubts but you you've really surprised me a romantic dinner on a boat right who needs a fancy restaurant when you can be wet and kind of dizzy oh Peter it's just perfect well except for that cruise ship that still can't dock because of Co is the election over yet we are all pooping in the sink I'm from Iowa so I still think this is awesome oh there's something about the ocean that's always been so magical to me and I say we celebrate ah now we're talking all right Cannonball there's got
to be a [Music] morning Peter I feel like a kid again isn't this exhilarating the moon the stars the dark triangular dorsal fin heading our way the dark triangular dorsal fin heading our way Jack Peter don't leave me to die out here Peter come back hold on Lois I'm going to grab a real quick hot chocolate warm up my [Music] bones a oh God thank God it's just a dolphin oh perfect hey good morning love birds so how'd the Moonlight Cruise go d dad saw a shark and left Mom to die oh come on all the
nice stuff I did last night we're only going to focus on that one thing damn it Peter you're supposed to be the alpha in my life someone to stand up and take charge but you never even looked back to see if I was okay you you just raced off did you hear about Anne H sad huh Peter don't try to change the subject you were always jealous of her you know what Peter I am so disappointed in you I am taking the exclamation points out of this argument you can't do that m arguments are powerless without v
olume that just leaves us with words I'm done here wow Peter I've never seen Lois so upset looks like you're in and I find this phrase offensive the dogghouse oh I've solved bigger problems in this like when I forgot the safe word at that sex party AR OD wolf Abacus abandoned a basee a bait AB the good news was I had memor IED the entire dictionary when I got bored over Co the bad news was the safe word Was zizer A genus of South American weevils which coincidentally I was forced to [Music] ker
BR what up dog grab a bruski from the mini I can't have anym though got a cram for a test in the morning where exactly are you going to school um University of College not for long though just got my grades not good Stewie I think this fridge thing yo check out my Maxim posters hot right no no yes yes no yes no why would you put up the nose so you know when it's a yes Stewie we got to talk braah if this is about you and I being roommates I was going to put a word in with Colin but I already have
one Brian meet ghee ghee okay please to meet you o GE doesn't speak much English he's from Quebec engineering I think but he is insane Brian a legend ke hello a look at him drinking that soda classic ghee okay anyway Stewie can't talk now BR I got to spend some time messing around on the guitar I don't even know you played oh yeah all the time a lot Bros down the hall call me Ramen cuz I'm always noodling hey what's going on no pubes they they they call they call me a lot of things Lois I told
you I would make it up to you so I got you something very special I got you in the opening credits of SNL okay look here comes Kenan oh look at him playfully hailing a cab and here you are look how cool and hip you look walking by a manhole cover with steam coming out of it y looks like Keenan still trying to wave down a cab oh there you go again now you're at the club holding up a one more sh signal for a drink why will nobody stop for Kanan oh but Mikey day gets a cab first try oh he's sharing
it with Keenan he's sharing it okay very stressful opening credits this [Music] week Stewie did you do this geez Bryant I've just come barging in here like that I thought you were campus security ghee pushed an air conditioner off the parking garage yesterday almost hit a public safety officer by the way that's between us they're going door too it's pretty serious I don't care about that I want to know who wrote renob on my chest when I was sleeping renob Brian you read that in the mirror it's
boner what great thanks Bri now we've got the ra coming in to check on us hey Stewie ghee look I like fun as much as anybody but we've had some complaints and you really got to keep the noise down in here oh and hey I reviewed your party application and everything looks to be in order so you're good to go whoa whoa whoa wait a minute party who's having a party I am and it'll be loaded with chicks thanks to ghee this guy is all about the poutine which sounds dirty but it's just a gravy they put o
n French fries Stewie you've taken this mini fridge thing too far I'm moving this thing out of here oh be careful briy not a good idea you don't want to piss off ghee yesterday he Crow hopped a dipped tin and knocked a guy out oh wow did he really well now I'm so very scared of ghee [Music] oh special flowers for a special lady H These are nice except they smell like what is that exhaust why is there a picture of a Teenage Latina on them Peter did you steal these from a roadside Memorial they di
dn't love her as much as I love you Lois besides it's not like she can see them stolen FL flowers really Peter is that all I mean to you well there's also a candle with one of them spooky skeletons from Coco you know Peter a relationship is supposed to grow over time to give you a sense of purpose and meaning but after all these years with you I I just feel worthless I feel as worthless as any coin smaller than a quarter hello my name is Nichol hi n there was a time when I paid for a ride on a t
rolley or a good or a hand cranked film of a man tipping his hat and twirling his mustache but yesterday I was part of a handful of change at a McDonald's and the teenage girl threw us out just just threw us in the trash with the rappers and the bag I yeah and I'm voiced by Kevin Hart coming this fall from Pixar coins we'll keep making things talk until you don't show up come on Lois you going to stay mad at me forever I've done stupid things before and you've always forgiven me oh I forgive you
Peter I just don't think I'll ever be able to see you as a man my protector or a real husband again oh okay I see well if that's how you feel I'll just take my things and get out of your way this is a different real doll I never figured out how to empty the other [Music] one this is not good guys she put a little black and white TV on the sun porch and then slept there last night oh that's the angriest a New England wife can get look if I could do it all over again I'd save her cuz now I know i
t was a dolphin and there was no real danger Peter don't you see we got to make you the hero again wait say that again we've got to make you the hero again y yeah you got weird teeth wait what did you say before about the hero thing I said we've got to make Peter the hero all right he does have weird teeth I just have to show Lois I can still be be her hero that's exactly what I was [Music] saying Ryan you made it oh damn it I love this son of a [ __ ] are you are you drunk nah I just spun aroun
d a few times Stewie it's it's really loud oh that's all ghee man his speakers aren't even legal in America Stewie you were supposed to be in bed at 7:50 the only clock we have in here says Miller Time come on Brian this could be the greatest night of our lives but you're all Stewie too little to have a mini fridge what happened to the Brian I Used to Know You know what you're right I guess I was just worried about your safety but what the hell I can party with the best of them even ghee there y
ou go what's the worst that could happen right check it ghee put his speakers out the window and he's cranking vagna everybody's like what [Music] you know I don't know why I let you talk me into coming back down here because in your heart you know I love you Lois and because as Chris Dy says I'll try to do it right this time it's not over H Dy says it better I agree hi Lois your husband Peter wanted me to tell you he'll try to do it right this time and it's not over also you may want to remind
him that his Vin mode did not work and we're going to need to find an alternative form of payment oh if he was wearing that straw hat I would have wet myself oh he's got her the doctory thing worked Quagmire of course it did sometimes I suffer under the weight of my own genius we're all set this is going to work as long as Peter remembers to have lowest step on the 18th plank 18th plank 18th plank 18 18 oh I wonder if Do's coming to the Cog ampath theat of the Season let's see Blink 182 21 Pilot
s 30 Seconds to Mars 182 21 30 10,000 Maniacs jeez how old is Natalie Merchant Now 60 10,000 60 look Lois I'll take you to every one of those shows if you just stop saying numbers and get on the damn Pier I I mean after you my [Music] queen all no no wrong plank not there huh no it's nothing I just think you were supposed to step here [Music] what the hell Peter are you okay uh don't worry Lois I'll protect you if there's any shars around I said if there's any shars around Peter I'm not ready I
lost one of my flippers what do you mean you're not ready it's not going to work without a Shar oh don't worry there's one right [Music] there oh few [Music] a thank God Peter are you all right Lois you saved me Peter did you rig this whole thing so that I would fall into the water yes I guess now you're really mad at me huh you know what I'm not because I just realized something Peter I do have an alpha in my life someone to stand up and take charge and it's me it's always been me and I will ne
ver again look out side of myself for happiness validation or anything and you you helped me see this Peter thank you okay and you sure you're not mad oh no Peter I'm not mad I'm horny hornier than I've been in a long time now get those pants off you fat little bag of dirt oh happy anniversary I didn't say you could talk but happy anniversary Peter this is awesome you know for a fat guy Peter's got a tiny ass perfectly separated popcorn anyone this is good where'd you get it an elder abuse victi
m sent it to the station as a thank you for arresting her grandson I'm just glad something good came out of [Music] it don't be late for work now Peter yeah oh ow fresh see you tonight it's good to see you two getting along oh yeah our marriage will be just fine as long as Peter remembers that I am everything and he is nothing is Stewie still sleeping probably he was up pretty late last night I'll go check on him Stewie you up that was [Music] some oh my God damn it Stewie I told you you were to
o little to have a fridge in your room oh oh [Music] God we now return to an ASPCA commercial with the wrong [Applause] [Music] music all seem to be doing okay hey can you guys keep it down I'm about to go on IG live like I said IG live all right Meg's going for her phone oh no she's just scratching herself well uh anyway if if you guys are going to join just go into another room or I'll get interference other than that uh I don't know just buckle up and enjoy the ride oh and I tagged Kurt vut's
nephew so just just be cool on there boy he's sure living a lot longer than than we expected going live in three 2 one what's up IG live it's Brian Griffin and you are live in the dogghouse okay no viewers yet I'll do it again hopefully I can keep that energy oh got my first viewer whoa getting a little crowded in here and at by cryptoid 33 has left the building all right all right welcome at win AAR ask me how and we got at learn guitar in seven days on the line let's get started what I'm sure
is on both your minds is what is the hero's journey that's a question pondered by writers for many many welcome at gain 4 in in one week many years let me recap what we've learned so far writer hero's journey many many many years on the page that seemed like 8 minutes of material should we bail him out with a question no we're not going to bail him out with a question we're going to you know what I will ask him a question give me a phone we're going to take a quick break hey guys I brought in y
our paper why do you get the newspaper if you're not going to read it sometimes I use it to punctuate my sentences well anyway I have a proposal for the two of you well this ought to be interesting are the two of you free tonight for a double date I'm seeing this girl and I think she's something special I want you to meet her oh Glenn that's wonderful and you're sure she's not a sex worker this time no I'm pretty sure I've offered her money many times and she hasn't taken it a double date sounds
great we'd love to go e the quags got a girlfriend hey get off me we don't have that kind of relationship shot go on Meg get away from the house guess get away from the house guess sometimes I also use it for that news papers because your parrot can't on an [Music] iPad whoa a DM from at official Instagram hello Brian as a famous writer you are now eligible to become a verified account yes finally well maybe next you could get a verified paycheck why is your paper called Brazilian teens well wh
at's your paper of record for Tan butts [Music] exactly I can't wait to meet this new girlfriend at quack meas you know I always write their names down in case his life becomes a DAT [Music] line oh my God it's her what it's who quack Myers girlfriend is my old junior high school bully Stephanie she made my life a living hell now see that guy's wearing sandals I could have won mine Peter you don't know this because you met me in high school but Middle School was a painfully awkward phase for me
I had horrible acne I had to wear a back brace and to make things worse only one of my boobs had come in I had to resort to fill in the empty side of my bra with a papa attic from the board game Trouble the other kids were cruel and would call me horrible names look at skoly Lois what a freak I just ate a sandwich so I'm waiting 20 minutes to swim but the worst bully of them all was Stephanie hey Lois watch your step your shoes untied no one even tried to help what a loser walk CL 18 more minute
s I would have drowned if it wasn't for the buoyancy of the papa mic Stephanie never even apologized and Junior High trauma is something you don't recover from yeah my gym teacher drove me home without his pants on but your story sounds bad [Music] too well looks like all that hard work is finally paying off I got verified on Instagram look at that a blue chick blue chick that's green Brian you got hacked that's ridiculous someone dm'd me and said they just needed my mother's maiden name the las
t last four numbers of my credit card and the first 12 numbers of my credit card then they responded right away with thank you completed huh it's not how you spell completed it's my credit card company hello no that wasn't me no no ma'am I wouldn't know what to do with that many Tommy hillfigure t-shirts yuck okay you were right I got hacked I'm so mad that hacker has me seeing gray red it's red Brian [Music] why are you so upset you already canceled your credit card this hacker is destroying my
Instagram I have a brand posting Steve Harvey's standup jokes is actually Steve Harvey's brand I think you should just give your account to the hacker I mean your Instagram wasn't setting the world on fire and I suppose the hacker posts are better look at this it's just a half a bottle of vodka that says at the Vodka cha Brian what does that even mean hit C translation it's vodka a BL somewhere oh that's very funny that's very funny you know I've heard it's wine a clock but I've never heard it
with vodka that's what that's that's whip smart is what that is no no it's not Stewie I need to get my account back I I may have sent some weird DMS to Zena that I'd rather not see the light of day Euphoria Zenda or Disney Zenda yeah a little from column A a little from column B we need to get that account back Lois pter Schmid what a small world nice to see you too you have aged infuriatingly well so how did you two meet did you both escape from the same sex cult sex Cults sound terrible but al
so how do I get invited to one you tell it no you tell it no you just tell it no you you you go fine I'll go okay Tinder huh didn't really need that whole parade and how did you two meet Lois was dating another guy and I threatened to kill myself Lois remember you had that back brace everyone said me you look like an ironing board and a sweater say more stuff you were a nerd I thought you said you were a prom queen prawn Queen she ate a lot of shellfish and her back was curved like a shrimp I've
never meant this before but we should do this again kids were so mean back then well I barely remember those years Peter and I have three lovely kids they're a lot happier since you're allowed to be fat now being a mom is the most fulfilling job in the world oh de you have kids be careful how you answer this oh I wish I did but after medical school then a 4-year residency a 2-year specialty three years in Central America with Doctors Without Borders okay well I'm sure all those achievements wil
l come visit you when you're on your deathbed excuse me some of the other diners have complained that you're not talking loudly enough they're loving these stories about how she was a nerd it was prawn Queen like the shrimp oh that's even funnier you know what I feel sorry for Stephanie now really what part the good skin and a great job oh great job anyone can be a doctor in Ecuador you think they're checking diplomas and she doesn't have any kids probably can't you know why GMOs just going to r
un this flight real quick settle down I mean I ate way better than she was eating did you see I ordered a salad it was a wedge that was mostly blue cheese and bacon it was listed under salad but did you notice Stephanie ordered french fries french fries no kids you do the math anyway point is I want dinner settle down you you think I won dinner right Peter well you did eat a lot faster than her and and now that I think about it after she said I looked good she looked right at my hands what does
that mean age comes out in the hands Peter maybe she's trying to figure out how old I am well but she knows how old I am am I bet she was judging my tiny weding ring why was she looking at my hands Peter I think your thumb was in the butter but did she see that I don't know but nobody ate butter after that so yeah probably I love that she had to ask what Capra was what a dumb [ __ ] what what's going on with your face I don't know what you're talking about maybe maybe it's a giant grin huh from
having triumphed over my former bully there's a rash forming on the back of your legs what there is a son of a [ __ ] Lois what the hell's going on with you I don't know I think s and Stephanie brought back one of my old Junior High School panic attacks quick I have to do the only thing that would C me back then lie in a dark room and try to blast Sarah mclin but accidentally play the wrong [Applause] song Oh pH Lois seems to be doing okay [Music] have we ever been alone in a room together befor
e so Instagram updat we're talking the hacker contacted me he's demanding $10,000 I hear you're looking to kill somebody what no I'm just trying to find a guy who hacked my Instagram account I can also help with that I'm really good at finding cyber bullies one time I got an anonymous tweet telling me to go kill myself and I tracked the IP address to chy yeah that's it's kind of her thing I don't know how you're going to find that's in Russ how do you know how to speak Russian if you watch enoug
h super dark videos on the internet eventually you're going to learn Russian first just the Russian words for please don't kill me but it's amazing how those are really the building blocks of an entire language Germans very very similar and then I was able to make some friends in a Russian AOL chat room you got a whole little life going on huh can you figure out what city this hacker lives in okay I'm thinking the big boys in Moscow are fishing in Europe Russia has 11 time zone so if we triangul
ate the activity through peak hours yep just what I thought chabin that was fast you got to move fast in this world bro so are we going to go find this guy or what all right looks like we're going to Russia Russia we can't go there they're at war with Ukraine they are whoa crazy I say we do it we're really going to go to a country at War and we couldn't go to my business meeting on Fire Island what business meeting I sell bikini swimsuits for men of size you mean fat guys no no no no no no [Musi
c] no are you here for business or displeasure we're here to find The Hacker stole your Instagram yes enjoy 10 square kilometer of country that don't make Geer counter go beep beep beep [Music] hey it's that way and then nurse Maguire gave everyone a valentine except for me I want to be picked up now Mom fine I'll see you at four what do you want Dr hotman I have no idea what's going on I feel like I'm turning back into my old teenage self and there's nothing I can do about it I see did you rece
ntly run into an old bully or were you tagged in a very unflattering throwback Thursday photo I did I ran into a girl who terrorized me in junior high and she used to call me scolis like scoliosis that's very good I just learned what that is today as a matter of fact Dr hotman what's happening to me well Mrs Griffin I think you're suffering from severe nerd damage I am what's that you see all nerds are one tossed off joke away from reverting to their worst most humiliating selves but I don't wan
t to be a nerd forever tell you what find the coolest guy in school and give him a tug behind the bleachers that usually solves it does that really work I don't know why don't we go find [Music] out hey you guys this is exciting I'm reading about cheliabinsk and if it's not too much trouble I'd love to swing by kosnov's tea packing Factory it was built in 1898 and briefly popularized the phrase have a cup of cools yeah I don't know oh you're no fun Meg cup of cools come on we got to find this gu
y I think like a hacker where would he be why don't we just follow this giant ethernet [Music] cable did you know chel in is known as the Chicago of the urals I'm I'm like pinching myself I'm that [Music] jazzed let me handle this at the Brian Griffin Duo Instagram I sorry I also conveniently speak a little English come in I explain over cup of coups oh jackpot and you know they're going to have good coups first I must know is it true in America there's a man named Cedric who entertains uh yeah
wow so Brian Griffin is this beautiful American Wife me no I'm not married you are like big beautiful nesting doll that holds other dolls inside you really mean that du you are the outside one because it has to fit all the other ones oh Meg you're pretty in this very ugly country Brian I only stole a count because it made me feel like I was living happy American Life of big writer man he has five followers a we have nobody and nothing to live for well you have to have some family no they all bur
nt at least you have a place to call home yet my apartment also burnt this temporary I lived in puddle for a while but sun dried up my house I yell at son give it back but it never does that is why every day I wake up and shoot single Bullet at Sun that would actually make a good Instagram post that every day well it would I don't understand why the man who can't go swimming has a pool party once the harness is fixed I can be lowered wasn't this a great idea of Stephanie's after the dinner we ha
d she told me all about the fun you guys used to have at pool parties oh okay that's nice don't you think it's a little strange that Stephanie would want to have a pool party when that's the very place she humiliated me I I'm sorry Lois there's a guy here who's fatted me and I'm just checking out his front Meats hey Lois you're not not going in no I'm covered in different in gel I can't go in the chlorine or the sun oh sorry Lois I thought you would a towel return bin well if you need anything I
'll be over there playing generic backyard party football with your husband I can play Too Soon As I unclasp my hernia [Music] girdle you pushed me she p pushed me Lois let me help oh you can drop the ACT Stephanie you may have won everyone over but you're nothing more than a mean girl and a bully just like you were in junior high but karma comes in many forms including stretch marks we all see them I don't see them above the knee on a left thigh you pushed me now just like you pushed me back in
junior high Lois I never pushed you I was trying to help you I was always trying to help you hey Lois watch your step your shoes untied and what about just now you got an excuse for that well yes I was trying to catch a football thrown by your husband I wasn't trying to complete the pass I was just trying to show the other wives how far I can throw it so this whole time you never bullied me no I always admired how you persevered through all these burdens in fact you inspired me to start my own
foundation for kids with scoliosis this year we have 50 skolis Scholars 50 yes all in your honor I'm sorry Stephanie I guess I was wrong all right that means it's your turn to service me in bed no Peter that's only when I'm wrong about something having to do with You Chris don't let anyone touch my cake I'll be back in 10 minutes hi Lois's friends well you're ready to head home Stewie what's that Brian sorry I'm muing quite a bit of cou right now where's your stuff Brian we came here to find you
r account but found something much more valuable my happiness yeah let let me be the writer Meg I can't go back home what you're staying in Russia this is a country where female body hair is encouraged where I can eat root vegetables straight from the ground without being placed under an involuntary psychiatric hold last night when Ivan made love to me please please stop stop he said me Griffin you have strong hunches like horse how sweet is that I'm an eight in Russia Brian I'm staying here wel
l okay but we're truly going to miss you and if this really is the end of our time together we probably ought to tally up expenses from the trip oh um okay yeah I bought that magazine at the airport so let's put that in the G group column who whoa wa hold on yeah no airport purchases we said were all together you're the only one who read that it goes in the Brian column you read the cover you commented on it all I said was when did Miles Teller get so jacked yeah that's reading that's not readin
g that's just looking at a picture and commenting so you're saying the words Miles Teller were not on the cover oh okay well when I bought my Cliff bar you said M peanut butter and chocolate looks good sounds like a group expense to me no way Meg wouldn't you call that a personal oh she's gone yep guess we're covering her neck pillow [Music] huh up gang we got another postcard from mag dear Mom and Dad I've contracted rinder pest also known as cattle plague which has been eradicated from most of
the world except from here they say I'm a local now haha a I'm just glad she's having fun yeah and thank God everything worked out between me and Stephanie so I can find finally put all that Middle School baggage behind me and maybe I can stop putting some of my other baggage behind me Peter we need to talk I think this relationship has if you leave me I will kill myself I love where you going I'm going to Quagmire to get some hand me- Downs his dad mom sent over some boxes of men's clothes fro
m back before the old chippity choppity ah you shouldn't wear people's old dirty CLS well I'm a dirty Guy Lois haven't you ever seen my naughty late night party line commercials hey are you lonely do you like to party with hot girls what about horsing around with fat guys well what are you waiting for give us a call I'll be on the toilet wearing a t-shirt that's so long I have to hold it under my chin while I wipe wow you're dad doesn't use this Dicky anymore that's crazy why would anyone get ri
d of a perfectly good Dicky I see what you're doing and cut it out hey what are these oh my God I haven't seen these in years what do you got there some kind of home movie from the Orient no no this is winter summer it was a Korean soap opera that I was in you were in a Korean soap opera yeah back when the Navy had me stationed in Busan I saw an ad in the paper for guys over 5'4 and I was the only one who showed up next thing I know I'm on t playing a guy named American Johnny wow I didn't even
know you could act you also didn't know I was a rock polisher take a look at that oh my what is that that's tiger eye [Music] extraordinary [Music] holy crap Quagmire you speak Korean n not really they just told me how to sound the words out phonetically so you never knew what you were actually saying No in fact at the height of the show I did a whole prenal mutilation PSA that I really regret wow that girl's hot that's a guy that other guy's handsome that's a girl that cat is cute that's a dog
what is everything oh my God if he son and Bong W don't get together I'm going to kill myself you're crazy bangwa is completely dishonorable he brought a personal item to [Music] work Bashi [Music] oh my God no way I told you I told you wow I guess he didn't die in the vending [Music] machine what it's over should we put in the next one of course we should we are binge watching this whole show I mean I haven't been Ling to something since the sh Shank Redemption yes um after you escaped into the
hole how did you perfectly reattach the rockel Welch poster from inside the hole with a tness that a rock could Pierce does it really matter it does to me did you even like the movie I did very much up until that [Music] point [Music] [Music] for oh my God quag give me the last tape huh sorry guys there are no more tapes what where's the last one he's right oh my God what do we do Quagmire tell us what happened did his son live to have the baby did Kim secure a position at the hydro Electric Pl
ant I don't know I don't remember how can you not remember it was 20 years ago we shot out of order I I never even knew what I was saying I didn't care I was living the life just banging chicks and eating cabbage you know a crap what do we do about our show now I know how that German movie producer felt all right friederick now that World War II is over we can get back to making comedies again get me these comedy writers uh I don't think any of these guys are available what this is terrible get
me my agent he's uh he's probably not going to answer either well this is crazy what happened oh I remember what happened that episode's not online anywhere I even tried the Korean search engine Bing Bong that's not real all right it's not but Quagmire we need that episode we got to know what happened guys I'm sorry but it was years ago and it never aired outside Korea so we go to Korea yes buying tickets come on guys it's just a dumb forgotten TV Show Quagmire we have to know how winter summer
ends this show is our whole life now yeah if we don't find that tape we're screwed like anybody who goes scuba diving with Dave Navaro [Music] all right gang me and the guys are off to Korea to find the last episode of a soap opera Quagmire was in P up this is ridiculous what am I supposed to do with work calls just do what I do hold the phone up to any episode or who's the boss Griffin it's been 4 days why haven't you come to work Angela of course it's me you know I've got half a mind to fire y
ou Angela oh I can't stay mad at you I'll see you when I see you oh oh [Music] man Epcot nailed Asia American [Music] Johnny holy crap Quagmire you famish here it's American Johnny American Johnny is back I take a picture with the giant Samsung for phone giant Samsung phone is also tiny Kia [Music] car Johnny welcome American Johnny we give our only best of room for you would you like smoking or chain smoking uh smoking I guess yes and how many ridiculous things would you like your toilet to do
do you have one that goes yum yum yum yum yum ah presidential [Music] sweet well Donna's mother died but we should probably head out to find the last episode of that Korean soap opera yeah where's Peter oh he went to get plastic surgery he did yeah Korea's the plastic surgery capital of the world nobody here thinks you look good unless you have big round eyes and a tiny little nose and Chin hey guys Peter are you all right you know what I feel good I feel like I want to giggle behind my hand at
a lot of things and hold but not eat a big ice cream [Music] cone there were more birds than videos in there yeah no sign of winter summer Glenn Glenn Quagmire so Jin it's he son from the show I don't believe it she's so beautiful she's so beautiful how did you find me I heard that American Johnny was back so I started following you on the new where American Johnny app I already L from that dance for me Hillary Duff it's so great to see you Sujin you look just as pretty as ever I've waited every
day hoping you would return and I never stopped thinking of you were you guys involved we were Peter Korean OMG so Jin we actually came here to find the last episode of winter summer would you happen to have it of course can we see it why yes tonight Glenn you and your friends must come to my home for gross Korean dinner man look at them they make such a cute couple like Pac-Man and Miss Pac-Man I'm so happy you o could make it tonight we will have many things you will nibble at and not eat the
n I will give you a pizza yeah yeah that's great hey can we watch that last episode of winter summer now we will watch together after dinner in the meantime feel free to watch Korean pop [Music] videos what is this and how can I make the rest of my life about it dinner will be ready soon but Glenn I have a surprise for you do you remember Buttercup where's Buttercup oh my God I can't believe Buttercup is still alive alive and well wait a minute you named a cat Buttercup only Quagmire and you kno
w Glenn after you moved away Buttercup had kittens what that's right you're a grandfather [Music] my God this is more [ __ ] than even I can handle is he going to say giggity should I say giggity are other people allowed to say giggity giggity what nothing it's [Music] stupid oh that was a great dinner Su Jen I've missed you so much I've forgotten how happy we make each other okay I'm done with this sweet rice water that has a pine nut floating in it nice dessert by the way can we was the thing
now of course here it is the last episode of winter summer oh my God this is everything I've dreamed of well this and becoming a half man half horse give up these legs don't be [Music] absurd [Music] why why would American Johnny leave Korea he had everything love a family why would he go back to his sad pathetic bachelor life in America he got nothing there why would he ever want to go home okay Quagmire let's go home well you know what you're right Peter American Johnny never should have left
it was the only time he was ever happy what what are you saying hey singu your TV says it's 21:00 what is that in real time I'm saying I'm not going back to Cog what but we we've seen the last episode we did what we came here to do Peter everything you just said is true I don't have anyone waiting for me in COG but here I've got Su Jin I've got Buttercup and our grand cats I've got a family I'm not going to make the same mistake American Johnny did I'm staying here will Quagmire stay in Korea wi
ll Peter find a new friend find out after this Goan commercial Ashton CER thought no one in America would ever see hi I'm Ashton Kutcher have you ever killed a dog while driving drunk and then been upset that there was no way for your car engine to cook it for you on the rest of the drive home well those days are over thanks to Dr Lee's pet engine cooking bag just put the dog in the bag place it over the engine block and drive your usual 20 mph over the speed limit Bow Wow I'm Ashton Kutcher and
remember Dr Lee's pet engine cookie bags are not meant for babies but they can be used for babies [Music] quagar you can't stay in Korea we all got lives back in cohor that's just it Peter you have lives you guys all have wives and kids and I have nothing waiting for me back there but here I have a family plus commercial pilots around here can just fly their plane into the ocean if they want Peter's right we can't just leave you here who am I going to get all my wiener jokes from you're my wien
er guy Joe I got him from a book well I wish I didn't know that don't peek behind the curtain huh sorry guys you're not going to change my mind I just feel like I belong here with Su Jin what are you going to do it's a powerful thing when a woman pays you even the slightest bit of attention yeah God knows I've been there welcome to Chili's with [Music] through believe Quagmire isn't coming back with us Donna's mother it was suicide you guys want to check out Brazil while we're out we just got to
accept that Quagmire has made his decision there's nothing we can do about it yeah I guess as far as Quagmire is concerned he's totally Korean [Music] now [Music] guys there's only one way to get through to a Korean through their music uhhuh yeah we can try your [Music] thing mother shell about a lizard Quagmire you're making a mistake goog is where you belong that's right and if you won't listen to us maybe you'll listen to um us but singing [Music] quagmire quagmire your new romance has you l
ost in an Asian trance so we're breaking the spell with a Kpop dance in our booty [Music] pants everything in this land is complete nonsense even worse Kim Jun lives AC Crush that F come home where you belong Cog is your home who wants to live in Korea their name sounds like Gia so quagar please tell them see come on come on come on home cwk is your home booy whiskey stakes and giant bongs Ricky L and Howe long giant boobies firm and strong only in the US s a k come on home today confusing dance
break random names of snacks now candy Cog marshmallow candy CW marshmallow you onlyon Bel long in cohort you really love pushy day eat dog show bu please run don't draw again come on come on come on home is your home [Music] boy sorry guys I know those New York Giants jerseys weren't cheap but I'm staying here and that's final well I pressed our matching beige pants suits for tomorrow good night who's that this is my grandfather he is going to live with us in the Asian tradition so will the re
st of my aunts uncles and cousins they will of course and have you met Great Grandma I can see through her it is she a ghost we don't know she won't answer tomorrow you take her to town to buy root vegetable after that you will get psychopath haircut so you look like one of us what's the matter Glenn you don't seem completely emotionless no no no no I am I am I am emotionless good night Glenn oh and just so you know three of my cousins have night terrors oh no it's crazy we're going home without
Quagmire what are we going to do without him rent his house to a sorority enjoy the babes [Music] huh goodbye Quagmire we're going to miss you buddy guys wait who wants to live in Korea their name sounds like garia marshmallow candy K marshmallow what I'm trying to say is guys I'm coming back to Cog with you you are oh that's great wait won't that upset Sujin and your new Korean family what are you kidding they all got to be in a K-Pop song that's all anyone here wants look great grandma is so
happy she finally died and became a ghost thanks again for convincing me to come home guys no problem Quagmire looks like Donna's mother's funeral went well odd choice to have an open casket for a gunshot suicide yep I thought I wanted a family but I love having no responsibilities here I can get drunk whenever sleep with anyone and just hide in my house and avoid the world if I feel like it wow that's great and totally doesn't sound like symptoms of clinical depression I heard you gentleman wen
t to South Korea yeah well that's cool we went to Lake havu you losers we naps hey thanks for helping me pick out a new computer you guys oh no problem Quagmire God this place is always so crowded we got to find someone who works here can I help you sir sorry all I got is a quarter pal oh excuse me sir uh my buddy here is looking for a computer I would like to to elect you president what are you doing you going to get a new phone while we're here maybe but I got to see which one I want to take i
n and out of my pocket every 30 seconds for the next six years what do you think Peter Peter I touched the iPhone headphone you know what I think I'm going to go with this one guy said it's the newest version just came out this week ah good call quag M you're going to be like the first guy in the neighborhood to own a Model T see you suckers I'll be there an hour after you with throw up all over my [Music] legs are you getting excited for Halloween Stewie you know we'll have to start thinking ab
out your costume soon all right but let's make sure we don't cover up this all right it's what puts candy in the bag oh look Chris here's your costume from the year you w as a condom what the hell are you supposed to be oh stoy look it's your very first Teddy be bear Oscar wow I remember that bear that's the one Grandma and Grandpa brought Stewie when he was still in the hospital oh and here's the card They sent me three kids on $440,000 have fun with your crap life I guess he got tucked away up
here you want him back sweetie what this old thing no no thank you I've grown I've changed you sure you don't want him I said no okay don't you have a wedding dress to try halfway on and then cry [Music] about hello oh hey Quagmire what's up hey Peter I I need some help with my computer I can't find my photos did you look under photos what is that it's a folder called photos yeah I I don't have that I just have 40 folders all called new folder okay you know what click on your hard drive okay no
w now the arrow on the screen that's me right yeah yeah that's you okay now now just whoa whoa whoa there's a calculator on this thing listen quag my what are you trying to do I just want to put pictures of my cat on everyone's internet computer like how do I do that okay wait there's an agreement that just popped up hang on let let me read the whole thing just hit accept well that seems a little fool hearty doesn't it Peter look do we have to do this now I'm watching something I know I'm sorry
I'm just nervous that somebody else is going to get pictures of their cat on the internet first and then I'll always be known as the second guy to get pictures of his cat on the internet Quagmire I don't know how to tell you this but there's already cats on the internet wait it's it's giving me that pin wheel thing it it it's frozen it oh my God oh my God it crashed the whole thing just crashed she quag my calm down we'll figure it out no Peter the whole thing's fried I can't damn it what the he
ll hey you clicked accept hey what's going on you doing some reading there yes well you know I turn to poetry when matters of the heart weigh heavily on me if you're happy and you know it then your face will surely show it if you're happy and you know it clap your hands Anonymous wait matters of the heart what are you talking about well Lois found my old teddy bear Oscar in the attic and and I'm just not sure how to handle it what with rert and all who cares just play with them both I can't do t
hat oh it'll be so awkward um okay Oscar was my well he was my first you know and that's always exciting but but I've been with Rupert for so long now uhhuh most of our finances are intertwined we've built a life together on the other hand Oscar well Oscar's the only one who can really make me laugh I hate to say it but I'm mostly with Rupert because of his insurance Stewie I think you're overthinking this no no you're right you're right Brian I'm with Rupert now I just need to forget Oscar no m
atter how intense our relationship [Music] was that's amazing it's like you took all the colors that exist and said here's a new [Music] one hi can I help you well that depends do you know how to fix pieces of junk haven't been stumped yet okay I see what your problem is I I tried to buy a a sweater online and I I think I got a virus no the porn's not the problem your browser history shows that you've been going to kinky latino. but that site has a bunch of malware oh personally I'd recommend Co
llege Latinas I mean I want to see Latinas but I also want them to speak English yes exactly wow so you're into that kind of stuff too uhhuh would you uh would you have dinner with me absolutely excuse me I bought this slap top here yesterday but when I got home I noticed the Apple already had a bite taken out of it so yeah I was the first woman to ride her bite cross country with no seat gosh that's neat Sonia and and where'd you go to college I think Syracuse but I don't know my my face was bu
ried in a pillow all four years wow sounds like it took a full class load oh Glenn I'm so glad you asked me out whenever I talk about stuff like this most people look at me like I'm some kind of disgusting perv me too but who cares you should never be afraid to be different whom morning morning we kind of had a crazy night yeah we did we I don't really remember but I do feel like I might be down a couple of quarts well even though you seemed like a sure thing I really wanted to make sure oh my G
od you roofied me are you mad no I'm in love Sonia honey stay right here I just have to go to the bathroom wait Glenn take this wine glass we can use it later my God I I've never been so [Music] happy I'm telling you guys Sonia is the perfect woman she's every bit as kinky and as insatiable as I am really I thought you said she was just some computer geek she is her mouth has enough storage space for a giggity bite oh jeez you changed your relationship status already when you know you know all r
ight but just be careful you know you don't want to rush an important decision I'll take the cheeseburger meal would you like to make it an extra large meal [Music] [Applause] uh no yes no you sure it's only 29 cents more yes [Music] no what the hell Stewie what are you doing up here Brian it's not what you think all right I I came up here for a photo shoot and it just got way way out of hand you're having tea how is that out of hand is your shirt on backwards please you can't tell rubbert I was
up here all right he he wouldn't understand he'll kill himself Brian he's been through so much already he can't take much more Brian he watched his brother drown Stewie relax you're getting all worked up over nothing says the guy who freaks out every time a fire engine goes by oh my God oh my God oh my God Peter Peter you hear that I'm matching the [Music] found is what I'm doing helping Glenn why did you bring me here well I've always had this fantasy of having sex on the basketball court in f
ront of my high school principal only problem is he's now completely scile yeah you like this principal goodr huh remember when you once suspended me for showing my wiener in school I did this isn't as much fun as I thought it would be I'm sorry Sonia I don't think I finish you never could finish Quagmire Donahue get in there okay Glenn now that we've covered ourselves in Black Ink let's do it until we've created every character in the Chinese alphabet when all said and done Quagmire body tells
story of sadness oh wow I can't even imagine what Twisted deviant act you've thought of this time I want you to have sex with your father what yep and I'm going to watch hi Glenn are you crazy no no way Glenn remember the thing we love most about each other is that we push each other way beyond our normal boundaries did you enjoy your stay at the Marriott no I did not oh well excuse me for not being 6 months old anymore now and here come the tears the show is starting everyone come on down what'
s all that noise what the hell's going on up there we're in a fight is what's going on Brian I need you to settle an argument for us am I Hitler because I don't think that I am but you maybe I'm off base on this Stewie take it easy no you know what you may as well call your family now because I'm not going to Sarasota I don't care if we can't get a refund with through here Brian you take him maybe you can make him happy what you heard me take him do whatever you want with him I don't care rubber
t and I are over are you sure yes we're done I just hope we can handle it better than blue and yellow did when they split up you are supposed to have the kids here by 5 we have plans it's 5:15 stop busting my hump Alicia okay you know what let's let's not do this in front of the kids God you're right whatever happened to us hey baby you ready for dinner what's up Scott we going to get some barbecue hey guys yeah no no no no no night time not allowed do it what there's nothing wrong with this no
no way give me those oh my God quagar what the hell happened is this another one of those sex related injuries you keep getting yeah it seems like lately that girlfriend of yours has taken things a little too far no she's not everything's great with us are you guys still talking about Sonia all right I should probably get going Sonia and I are supposed to go to a brown eyes wide shut party geez I don't know what's going on with him but I guess love does funny things to people look at Forest Gump
hi Forest I know you just got back from Vietnam and you love me but I'm going to go run a train with this group of black panthers I just met okay Jenny hi Forest I know you came all this way to New York to visit me but I'm going to go do blow and have sex with a bunch of stock Brokers okay Jenny hi Forest now that I have the most contagious and incurable disease known to mankind I'll finally have pity sex with you okay Jen and I'll mow the grass and raise the AIDS baby hey sexy Sonia what are y
ou doing here well I got tired of waiting for you to get home so I thought I'd come to you come on Sonia how about how about we take a night off huh the sex has just been non-stop I mean I understand that no doesn't mean no but certainly some word has got to mean no this is one of your fantasies right public humiliation it's sexy isn't it Sonia stop please come on you love [Music] it you're hurting me and I really need to clean out my trunk oh I'm going to clean out your trunk giggity that's my
word that's my [Music] word okay Joe Joe you're drunk okay you're drunk give me your keys and and I'm drunk so I'll give you you my keys okay now we're both good to drive home you've been drinking tonight sir no officer I just had a glass of dinner with my wine okay I'm going to need you to step out of the car and walk a straight line please all right you'll be safe sir there's a lot of crazies out there [Music] tonight oh hey Mr and Mrs Quagmire hi Peter I'm a little worried about Glenn I haven
't heard from him in days have you seen him I haven't seen anybody I've been grounded for pinching a girl hey are you guys talking about Quagmire he never showed this morning and today's the day we usually go apple picking get that one get that one hey get that one get that one over there no not not that one I already got it I can't put it back well it's not going in the pie well if you're so smart why don't you come up here here and pick him yourself and now there's no pie at all I've already c
hecked Glenn's house and there's no sign he's even been there I'm afraid something terrible has happened now let's not jump to any conclusions I'm sure if we just check his usual hangout someone will have seen him wait a second he hangs out at the clam with some fat loud mouth you find loudy mcfat ass you find Quagmire come on let's go but Dad it's the Night of My Big Show Oh Chris I was never going to go to that we should get some food in you mister you hardly ate any of that cereal I smashed o
n your mouth yesterday Brian oh hey what the hell are you doing oh I've been kind of using rert as a chew toy chewing him with your crotch hey dogs like humping stuffed to animals what can I say besides you said I could have rert I thought you liked Oscar better anyway well I just changed my mind and you know Rupert's a dude right you gay Lord okay you guys where should we start looking for Glenn well some sometimes Quagmire likes to hang out under all the clutter in my garage so why don't we ju
st start sorting stuff and throwing stuff away but obviously checking with me first before you throw stuff away no problem Peter Quagmire if you're in there hang tight buddy we're coming right and if we can't find him in here he sometimes likes to hang out in between the blades of grass in my lawn and also in the firewood that needs to be split might he be under the leaves in your gutter great question and yes he might so while you guys are taking care of that I'll be around back flicking pine c
ones at a tree with this h [Music] stick Aloha welcome to Ryan's Hawaiian hey how you doing amazing have you seen this man Glenn Quagmire n the last time I saw him was three months ago sold him 70 red shirts yeah he does look good in that shirt uh everyone looks good in my shirts how about you big island uh I don't know do you want to be an oldies DJ or a 1980s wrestling manager yes both this is beautiful heart disease looks better when it's wrapped in a tropical Floral [Music] Pattern oh my God
this is hopeless we've been searching for hours Glenn could be dead by now I know and if you guys are really hungry I suppose I could eat come on we can't give up someone's got to have seen Quagmire or if not him at least Sonia excuse me did you just say Sonia yes I did that was my dog's name excuse me did he just say Sonia yeah it was his dog's name oh I thought he might have been talking about this super kinky woman who's always down here trying to lure men to her sex slave shed no I think he
was talking about his dog no Peter that's the Sonia we're looking for Sonia must have taken Glenn there where exactly is the sex slave shed I'm not sure but I've heard she has a United Cog storage apparently that chick's a complete psycho we got to get over there come on you guys let's go a man I hope we don't catch him doing something freaky I'm still weirded out from when I walked in on that masturbating Eskimo dinner time oh my God doesn't anybody knock hey Stewie look I want to apologize ab
out earlier I what the hell is this Brian I think it's time that Rupert made his choice what are you talking about talking about love BR talking about adult decisions Rupert's been with me and now he's been with you it's time for him to pick Stewie this is stupid I'm not doing this Brian either you cooperate or I blow my Adam Lavine dog whistle hey my voice isn't that high it is it is though all right Rupert who will it be and before you answer think of all the good times we've had the time we m
et the Beatles on The Ed Sullivan Show that winter we lived on the sun and here's my favorite a blank one we can fill up with a future [Music] together yes oh my God rert I'm so sorry for everything I missed you too whatever hey you done with that weird octopus doll it's you and me forever Rupert I just hope Oscar didn't take it too [Music] hard this is it number 92 this is Sonia storage unit quagar are you in there oh he's eating we'll come back when you're done eating [Music] Glen hurry she'll
be back soon I can't believe the guy with the ponytail and the facial tattoo at the front desk would let this happen well what's this we got company hold it right there please do you think I'm afraid of you boy if you were ever going to stand this would be the time Joe everybody just shut up you idiots should have minded your own business this is is our business you kidnapped our friend you're going to jail don't come any closer or I'll shoot you oh I don't think you're going to shoot me you do
n't got the boobs what I don't know now just hand me the gun Sonia oh I swear to God you get one inch closer to me and I'm going to shoot you what the hell like I said you're going to jail oh my God Joe that was so close how'd you know the gun would jam it didn't Jam Peter the gun was never loaded sort of had a mental breakdown in April no more bullets for this guy oh Glenn I was so worried about you are you all right no no I I'm pretty far from all right well I guess this is as good a time as a
ny happy birthday Joe you [Music] dick thanks for your help guys I might not be alive if it weren't for you hey no problem buddy yeah you would have done the same for us Quagmire you know I guess what I real realize from all this is that when it comes to relationships I need to be the kinky one we're just glad to have you back Quagmire yep and it's good to put all those troubles behind us my [Music] dad ah it's so exciting to be back at the Halloween Carnival yep thanks to the vaccines we can al
l get back to doing the things we hate oh for God's sakes Peter I am so tired of you not making an effort to be a part of this family Lois I drove us here I bought the tickets I'm sadly shuffling through this place with you what more do you want I don't know I want you to act like you're happy to be with your family every now and again look I'm doing the best I can but I got to tell you whoa careful oh and there's my boss even better hey Preston what's with the hat this is my Halloween costume I
'm dressed as 1990s comedian Paul Shaw you mean Paulie Shaw perhaps in less formal circumstance es you may recall he borrowed heavily from surf culture with phrases such as hey buddy and grindage I don't think this costume is working neither is paully sure oo that looks scary the house of unskippable podcast Ed before we get to the thrilling conclusion of murder at the South Pole I'd like to tell you about untuck it shirts I'm hitting skip ahead but it's not doing anything last weekend I was at
a bar barbecue and thought what's with all this excess fabric at the bottom of my shirt oh God a clearly fake personal story the big game was on the boob tube but the biggest touchdown was the perfect length of my friend's premium made affordably priced shirt literally no one talks like that so I went right home and binged untuck it on my Microsoft Surface is this a promotion within a promotion untuck it shirts we weren't here for Kevin James but we're here now all right gang as a mom who planne
d a family activity I'm going to put wild pressure on you guys to say you're having a good time Chris honey are you are you having a good [Music] time okay I'm going to need a verbal response yeah oh good Chris is having a good time Meg Meg are you having a good time just like your brother I guess okay great can you sign this form for my mom meting acknowledging your Mart wow very good I see everyone had a good time would you like to spin the wheel of mom prizes donate spin to Mom you wish to be
little oh thank you but you know baronnie needs this more than I do yeah her Rejuvenation only made things worse holography that's next door to Witchcraft and down the hall from David blery I do not care for his roses ah stop being such a wuss let's [Music] go the Michael Sarah hologram is a weird Choice oh it's the real me I'm just kind of translucent oh hello Hollywood yes I would like to Star an an action movie franchise that's not a Bluetooth he just stuck a Tootsie Roll in his ear wow these
Holograms are the most amazing thing I've ever seen and I've seen like a really big horse welcome to my hologram laboratory would you like to see how I make my babies I mean I'm already here is that a yes yes just say that then this machine scans your data then creates a virtual hardlight version of you that can physically interact with the world that sounds kind of bogus is a science check out on that they used it on Star Trek you got a problem with Star Trek okay take it easy I accept your ex
planation we all should it's Halloween you can command them to perform any human task no matter how meal so you're saying I can have something that looks exactly like me seem like it's enjoying spending time with its family precisely can I have it I'm afraid not it's my only one maybe there are other arrangements we can make boy this is the first button-down shirt that looks great untucked it's an untuck IT what's their secret or they just make sure it's a tiny bit shorter genius [Music] man thi
s machine is complicated I hope I can figure it out here goes nothing thank you for choosing the hollow maker 9000 please input personal characteristics do they have to be true I have no way of knowing what is true and what is not such is life in the post Donald Trump era H we the satire to Garrison Kayla okay time for some statements about myself that are definitely not lies let's see I'm a black belt and karate I can cook an8 course French meal I always enter cars through the window cuz doors
ain't the boss of me and I'm great at remembering names just ask my friends Joel Clemson and [Music] QuickTime [Music] hello Peter Griffin I am hologram Peter Griffin how may I be of service come upstairs Peter I need you to put the two small slip covers on the hard to grip couch pillows yeah you can start by handling that I would be happy to help your family with whatever they need a sweet if this works out I'll have more time for those qinon rallies what do we want we don't know when do we wan
t it also unclear why do we want it because it was forwarded to us in an email so it must be true ah Peter there you are listen I'm trying to clear out my closet so I want you to give me your honest opinion of every [Music] garment perfect I love working as a team to reduce clutter okay first my seven up yours t-shirt that was the most provocative thing ever put on television at the time you have to keep that okay great right uh now my Skinny Girl Margarita t-shirt Bethany Frankle gave me after
she hit Chris with her car that's a fun story keep great okay under the seat studio audience Poncho from the Meredith Vieira show maybe it's time to say goodbye to miss Vieira oh man this is going great oh crap I'm stuck let me call my iole painting guy hey it's Peter Griffin yep trapped in the painting again I know I know well can't you just look up my account no I don't have my ID number no I can't get my ID number because I'm trapped in the painting I'm sorry I I'm mad at your company not you
you're fine okay yesterday worked out great so here's some more dumb family stuff I want you to do for me Teach Stewie what sound the cow makes it's moo quack is duck get opiates from John yeah I'll give you John's number tell him it's Peter calling for opiates from John he'll know what you mean got it now that you're doing all that I'm going to the clam with the guys oh man this hologram thing is the best idea since the Mayflower hired a cruise director okay everyone from 88 until 9: we'll be
trembling before our Angry God from 9 to 10 there's yellow fever on the Leo deck and at 10: it's everybody's favorite Buckle hat Bingo what if we lost our Buckle hat well do you have a plain hat yeah yeah do you have a belt yeah you got a buckle hat I just love knowing what's going on oh Peter thanks for clearing out an area for us to start a garden yeah they say the best day to plant a garden is yesterday and the next best day is today this this is what I meant about making an effort with the f
amily and I can garden too cuz I have a Brown thumb that's more of a wiping issue son but I'm glad you're here this is great but I'm a little hot no problem that's why I bought a giant sun hat that can fit all of us and now to quote the kitchen towel let us turnip the Beet stop it or I'm going to wet myself me too I always wet my plants where do you get all this they're all from towels Lois they're all from towels well what do you think guys should we wrap it up yeah but can one of you throw gli
tter on me it's it's better if Lois thinks I'm at a strip club she hates you guys Peter I think you're a little too drunk to walk home yeah give us your shoes can we give you a ride no it's okay I'll just black out and and never know how I got home works every time and it's good for the environment Maybe [Laughter] boy they look pretty happy and they're singing Halloween carols of cand ring aell the perfect rhyme racist youre ah that was fun and now that we're just about done with Halloween mayb
e it's time to start writing the family Christmas letter ah Peter that's a great idea yeah good luck pal our Christmas letter always runs a ground cuz our family has no accomplishments all right we need some highlights from our year um I got suspended for setting up a tent in my Spanish teacher front yard after several adventurous camping trips Chris is becoming quite the Outdoorsman and has found a true Mentor in Senora Diaz I was trying to snag a bagel from the school dumpster and got accident
ally hoisted into the garbage truck this was the year Meg caught the travel bug Stewie's first pony ride ended after he blew out his diaper all over the horse's back Stewie pooped on a horse well pop where's my razzled Dazzle and Lois celebrated her 29th birthday this year veter what the Lois isn't 29 oh I see what he's doing that's that's very funny what the hell no one kisses my wife except begrudgingly me it's time for hologram Peter to go back inside the machine where he came from I'll be ba
ck in a minute don't pray without me give me that you're not the only one who can do things for this family can can you can can you pick that up listen I appreciate you covering for me but I can take it from here don't be silly I've got them all taken care of go have fun I thought this was going to be a a good idea and and these last few hours have been great you've been gone 3 days but I'm ready to go back to my family okay you're the boss the Hologram machine is in the basement let's head down
there together and sort this [Music] out where's the machine I left it right over as Peter lost Consciousness he finally saw the folly of his hologram misadventure also going forward I'd appreciate a bit more warning before having to narrate even just a few minutes to finish whatever it is I'm doing sir you're supposed to buy something if you want to use the restroom well what's the cheapest thing you got probably a near the register cookie well put me down for one of those [Music] what what ha
ppened I knocked you out and tied you up why because they're my family now well a joke's on you when you first got here I sent a letter to the FBI because I knew something like this might happen is it bad it's better than the last one you should put it up on the FBI fridge next to his drawing of Shrek what nothing it's not supposed to be Shrek it's supposed to be the Hulk but that's funny you don't deserve your family I care about them way more than you ever did that's not true oh yeah who bough
t double decker burial plots because Lois likes to be on top who taught Chris to whisper black out of respect for blacks me and once I finish you they'll be all mine Peter can you come upstairs and tell me if this gray chicken smells funny be right up babe oh man this is worse [Music] than wait what are we supposed to do in this cutaway I don't know I I didn't understand the setup well we have to do something um I mean you do have a long neck and I have fangs maybe something in that area uh mayb
e we just wait to hear what the grown men who write for cartoon [Music] say cream number 99 and cream 100 okay I'm ready for bed well we had meatloaf tonight so I guess I'm in for a dutch oven what's a dutch oven Peter what why is that dental floss in this trash can because I just floss death Creeps in through the gums you know um Peter I I need to go downstairs I I left a lame excuse on the stove okay but be careful I just mopped the kitchen floor I love you Stewie wake up we got to go Chris co
me on we got to go mag can you drag the trash to the curb tomorrow before 9: we won't be [Music] here thanks for telling us that whole backstory on the way down the stairs mom yeah now we don't have to waste time hearing about how a hologram of Peter replac the real Peter although I don't know why we had to hear about Bonnie not inviting you to Rosé game night well I just thought it was weird cuz it was my [Music] idea going somewhere [Laughter] family I didn't want to have to tie you up I I did
everything for you and people think Holograms don't have feelings well we don't and then I watched one episode of This Is Us and now I'm all feelings don't mention this is us great now I'm going to cry save your crocodile tears none of you appreciated me and if I can't have you no one will I hate this is us let my family go I'm impressed how did you free yourself from the bindings I found a hex saww and saw it through my hands why didn't you saw through the ropes hex saww hindsight is 2020 Lois
the important thing is I stitched my hands back on with Twizzlers all right fat guy fight rules we grab at each other's shirts until we're out of breath and then a 3-minute break got it should we just take a 3-minute break now [Music] agree it turned into a pudding break wait wait wait wait wait wait I didn't get to lick the lid now for the final download everything in your [Music] mind jokes on you there's nothing in [Music] there guys dad needs [Music] help we have to Short Circuit the Hologr
am can anyone shoot lightning from their fingers I can but I have to be very angry wait Brian there are other kinds of electricity by simply rubbing my feet on the carpet I may be able to generate enough static electricity to do the job Stewie that's a great idea what can I do to help I need something to get my feet going can you sing I Got Rhythm um I uh can I can I just say da da for the words I don't know we have no choice go da da rhym wait wait wait what we're starting with the da da alread
y you don't know I got rhythm it's in the name okay got it got it got it I got da Rhythm you said that the first time okay now I'm starting to get angry yeah I'll do it myself I Got Rhythm da da music oh the expert but I go through the title at least it's working quick everyone hold hands we have to reach [Music] Peter we can't reach him Lois use your toe I haven't had a pedicure in 4 weeks just do it we won't look ew Peter touch my toe e do it that's usually my line but [Music] whatever Wimer [
Music] you saved us Peter yeah glad you thought of it I hate this place of course I did I love you guys and from now on I'll try to be half as good as hologram me was now but don't you see Peter the Hologram was you he was just the best version of you you can get there it'll just take work no the deal was was I promised to be half as good as a fake thing all right just do that no promises well Peter I'm glad you're safe and everything's back to normal yeah me too and you know what I realized how
much I missed you guys and what do you say we turn off that TV and do something as a family damn it he created another hologram I'll get my feet started Brian little Camp Town Racers you got it da da Ladi sing this song I just gave you the title sorry uh Camp Town Ladi sing this song da da it's dud at least I got one of them the second [Music] one oh I love shopping at Christmas time g m food courts are so depressing you can always tell which fathers are disappointed in their sons because they
eat lunch with their coats still on how's that food dum dum too bad eating ain't math cuz then I'd have something to be proud of I want to go live live with Mom I know so do I welcome to Tommy Bahama yeah you got anything for a poor fat person who wants to look like a rich fat person of course now I'll mostly be hitting on waitresses who are too young and thin to ever be interested in me hitting on them in a kindly genial way no in a threatening creepy I'm joking but I'm not really joking way yo
u have anything for that sir what you're describing is precisely Mr Bahama's Vision Tommy Bahama 5 million uncles can't be wrong hey sorry to bother you but would you like to work here me yeah you'd be perfect all right now let me just take off these security tags for you it's a [Music] living So Random that's a comment on us hey check that [Music] out oh wow this is awesome you know Jeff Garland has one of these in his house ah I love this chair dog in a jet Jersey get in here God I have the be
st basement Peta this chair cost $3,000 that's not so much Lois it's only infinity times what you bring home every week Peter look over there is that is that Jesus oh yeah wow it's been a while since we've seen him hey Jesus oh hey guys hey buddy what are you doing in COG actually I never left really why didn't you call us well I felt kind of bad about how we left things I wasn't sure you'd want to hear from me oh that's silly we could never stay mad at you yeah I've never been one to hold grudg
es I even forgave the man who murdered my son and although I will never get over the pain of what you did to my son I forgive you because I believe you are sick and in need of help Mr Griffin this is the office office of City Planning you requested a variance to build a hot tub off your garage oh yeah did I get it no I will kill your son you son is dead I'm so glad there's no hard feelings listen Peter we should catch up why don't you come over to my place for a beer or something oh that sounds
great hey you want me to pick anything up on the way over or know you're good oh uh I I guess we could maybe just order something yeah I don't have any cash but we'll figure it out hey Peter Come On In Me Casa it's uh I I don't know Spanish huh I think half the world would be surprised to know that very nice place here this is not too too not not too not too good yeah I know it's nothing fancy but you know I'm not really into material possessions Jee this place is depressing hey how come you are
n't with your family during Christmas anyway I can't deal with my family during the holidays and besides my dad always spends Christmas at his time share in Coral Gables with his girlfriend great here comes that couple with the adult disabled kid hey can we join you I'm Ken this is Pam and this right here is Scott we really want to thank you God for testing us it's been such a blessing can't wait to see what that bigger plan is well I can't tell you that but the good news is this little guy's go
ing to make it to 74 oh look Jesus you shouldn't be alone during Christmas and if I remember correctly isn't your birthday sometime soon Who ah whatever I'm fine I'll probably just reheat some Ramen and watch gry's Anatomy no way I'm not going to let my pal Jesus spend his birthday like that hey you know what I am throwing you the best birthday party ever are you sure about that yeah I'm great at throwing parties I was in charge of planning Woodstock all right guys here's what I'm thinking a who
le festival of Muddy boobs well don't you want to have music oh yeah that's a good way to get those muddy boobs moving all right you guys Jesus's birthday party is going to be epic hey since it's also Christmas maybe we could make it like a Christmas theme what about secret santa that's always fun okay but $5 limit why don't we just say no gifts come on guys we don't have to make such a big thing about it it's not like I'm a woman who's about to turn 30 you guys I don't care what we do for my bi
rthday as long as it lasts the whole week and it's very expensive and inconvenient for all my friends oh and I'm going to dress like a [ __ ] and be rude to everyone for no reason but Maya I don't care that your dad's d we're all going to Montreal for the week hold on if we're planning a party we haven't even talked about the most important thing a hydration plan for people who overheat it could be as simple as an ice bath n no I'm talking about women oh yeah we definitely need some women here J
esus what kind of girls do you like women uh all types I guess all types come on Jesus even Martin Lawrence when he used to dress up like shenan shenan no you know what I mean uh like uh hot lady horny ones who sex on you what yeah you know they come back to your house and sit on your butt wait a minute Jesus have you ever been with a woman are you are you a virgin yeah I am how the hell does that happen well in high school my best friend was this hot prostitute and I just kind of got into the f
riend zone she's all like oh there's all these guys having sex with me for money and I'm all like oh you deserve better and then I die well sex is overrated stay out of this Joe all right look forget the party we got a more important Mission now your 2,000 year long cold streak is about to come to an end what do you mean I'm saying Jesus we are going to help you lose your virginity God I love sex all right me and the guys are off to help Jesus lose his virginity just put it in the oven for half
an hour at 350 why what I don't know that's what you always say when you leave the house oh Peter just be careful losing your virginity is a big deal I'm sure Jesus doesn't want some gross quickie no no no it's going to be nothing like that just some random [ __ ] to mall in a bar back where the payones used to be Peta that's what I'm talking about you're making this whole thing crude it's his first time you need to be more sensitive don't worry Lois I swear I'll be sensitive and gentle like the
Tasmanian devil tucking in his [Music] kids [Laughter] [Music] all right Jesus these speed date nights are the best way to meet a lot of chicks fast now go get them so where do you live everywhere all places hopefully inside you this this is kind of embarrassing but are you okay with someone who smokes oh yeah are are you okay with someone who wanders the desert lecturing people on how to act so are you having a good Friday oh is that supposed to be funny shut your mouth [ __ ] how's the wine i
t's terrific that's my blood you know where are you from Israel all right Jesus nowadays everything is done on the internet all right so we got to get you on Facebook well let me just close a couple of these windows there we go sorry I was up late last night had the house to myself sorry sorry a lot of POV stuff yeah I like to pretend it's mine down there what's doing all a slapping Peter how old is that girl excuse me won't you lot of scumbags out [Music] today well no luck getting Jesus laid y
et I don't get it Jewish guys are supposed to be swimming in tail Peter Jesus is never going to find a woman and going about it your way I think it's time I had a little talk with him so he knows what a woman really wants all right knock yourself out don't look don't look don't [Music] look Jesus I asked you to lunch because I think you've been getting bad advice about finding a special someone well Peter's been doing his best but lately he seems more focused on marketing his erotic Advent calen
dar all right kids let's see what's under Christmas another pucker anus look Jesus just forget whatever Peter's been telling you you just have to be yourself and let a sweet girl see that side of you well you're easy to talk to I just get all tongue tied with other girls plus being myself isn't that impressive what do you mean you're sensitive you died for our sins and ascended into heaven and you got nice skin don't be afraid to be honest with a girl and show her who you are wow thanks Lois tha
t's the second best advice anyone's ever given me I don't know man Jesus Hitler Christ sounds weird so just go with h [Music] yeah all right guys let's not get discouraged okay we just got to be more creative about getting Jesus laid I just tell folks to go down to the Happy handy smile massage and get it over with I sometimes go down there and when they tell me I'm done I leave hey guys uh Peter can I talk to you for a sec sure Peter listen I found the woman who I'd like to lose my virginity to
it's someone who understands me and someone I feel very close to oh wow Jesus that's great hey is it Carrie Underwood somebody told me you guys went out once yeah we did but it was a disaster Jesus Take the Wheel what I want to kill these cops actually Peter I want my first time to be with Lois Lois my partner at the law firm no Peter it's your Lois Lois Griffin what I am outraged but probably not as outraged as the 10 million Christians watching please write to this address quickly maybe we ca
n both stop these Hollywood Jew writers from wrecking my marriage and your religion you want to lose your virginity to Lois no way look Peter I know it's a lot to ask but if it wasn't okay I wouldn't suggest it well you make a good point but this is my wife you're talking about please Peter I just know Lois would make my first experience as special and memorable as it should be plus I can make it worth your while after all I'm Jesus I could give you anything you want anything like like anything
in the universe absolutely Brook Stone Massage Chair really are are you sure yep never been more sure of anything in my life well except one thing good evening sir would you like to hear our specials no [Music] teacher let me get this St right you want me to have sex with another man oh not just any man Lois this is Jesus we're talking about he's a savior he could even save our marriage why what's wrong with our marriage what's wrong with our marriage you're sitting around talking about sleeping
with other guys P this was your idea Lois let's not play the blame game clearly there's been a lot of cheating on both sides but the point is where do we go from here huh I don't know sleeping with Jesus just feels wrong doesn't the Bible say not to covet thy neighbor's wife oh come on is the Bible's just a bunch of General guidelines none of the Commandments are written in stone you're really okay with this of course look there really is no downside to this it's one of those things that seems
bad but really is good like that fracking company we let drill in the backyard W I guess it is kind of an honor that out of all the people in the world Jesus chose me I mean he could have had anyone Elizabeth Perkins Patricia Richardson Katie Seagal yeah I I mean maybe not them but somebody else and the son of God's first time should be special even Divine maybe I'd actually be doing a good thing you sure about this Peter you bet as sure as I was when I created Lady Gaga all right listen fella y
our game is confusion zip Zam Zoop nobody gets a straight look at [Music] nothing boy this must be killing you you're an atheist and the one guy you don't believe in is getting to bang the woman of your dreams you know what I don't have to sit here and take this I'm out of here can can you let me outside hi Peter well hello young man don't you look nice she's almost [Music] ready just I'm sorry I was just coming down the stairs at the same [Music] time wow Mom you look beautiful well we know he'
s circumcised so she won't have to deal with that nonsense oh and don't worry about not hitting bottom I've only grazed it once and that was what a running start hey Jerome give me another part Tucket pet I'll take it over here on my Brookstone massage chair that's a nice chair Peter hey do you think if I let Jesus sleep with Bonnie you give me back the use of my legs Joe I don't speak for Jesus I just get him trim now to take this thing out for a [Music] spin ah time for a relaxing sponsored da
ydream [Music] oh Jesus Jesus Jesus God I love massage chairs are you in one too yes but it's horrible it was bought for me by Jesus but now he's doing my wife oh I'm just trying mine out in the store guys I think I might have made a terrible mistake with this whole Lois and Jesus thing I don't blame you Peter I always thought it was sort of a a strange choice to let Jesus have relations with your wife I'm sorry did you say Jesus is sleeping with your wife great now everybody knows my wife has t
aken Jesus's virginity listen pal Jesus ain't no virgin he did the same thing to me last Christmas he what yeah Jesus did the same thing to my wife Christmas before last and my buddy's wife the year before that what the hell but he's so lonely nah he just acts lonely and lies about being a virgin so he can get with guys wives did he show you that sad little apartment he doesn't really live there he just uses it to store art he bought on cruises oh my god what have I done Peter maybe there's stil
l time maybe you can stop them where are they they're at the barington hotel let's go guys I just ordered nachos but good luck Peter now for a slippy no boots run through the snow to my car a crap I just pulled a thousand [Music] [Music] muscles that was a loud crack yeah that was all bone oh oh son of a [ __ ] oh this is bad this is real bad I'm not going to go to the doctor though damn it get out I need this car what are you a cop no Jesus is about to have sex with my wife oh then here take it
get out I need this car so do I Jesus Christ is about to have sex with my wife Lenny kravit is about to have sex with my daughter oh oh my God here take the car take the car get out of here what are you doing go go go hey kid I need that tobogan Jesus Christ is going to have sex with my wife um okay and I need your little hat and those Spider-Man mittens I'll need those too and what's in your pockets a rabbit's foot a pen knife a bottle cap a compass all of it all of [Music] it a crap I'm out o
f Hill [Music] you there boy what does that sign say I ain't much for book reading sir but I seen our Lord and savior bring a lady in there for a Christmas Roger in I did you're a good boy here's a [Music] goose what room is Jesus in what room is Lenny Kravitz in ah you were coming here too we got a carped Lois Lois you son of a [ __ ] what have you done to my marriage Peter Lois don't do this I think I had like a a Christmas miracle I realized I don't want other people humping my wife for a cha
ir it's okay Peter nothing happened it didn't no I couldn't sleep with him not that I wasn't tempted he put actual strawberries in a glass of champagne which was about the classiest sexiest thing I'd ever seen but I couldn't go through with it our marriage is too important to me [Music] I love you Lois I don't know what I was thinking but you you're a liar Jesus Bravo Peter Lois seems like you folks learned the lesson I intended what a lesson oh you know uh that uh this holiest of days is about
appreciating our loved ones and uh resisting temptation oh so it was a test like when your father told Abraham to sacrifice Isaac yes that that's exactly right uh well I can see my work here is done well taught Jesus well taught yeah I guess who cares I'm not even real merry [Music] Christmas well Lois I'm sure glad you didn't have sex with the Messiah me too Peter now let's open your presents kids oh rert you're such a sneak I wonder what it is oh a Joanie Mitchel CD to continue your emotional
education that's great that's really great could you excuse me for just one moment who did he buy the necklace for great can you believe that Trump hung himself in prison I know and that Chris Christy lost all that weight he still looks terrible though oh hey Joe I hey Peter if you have a sec there's something I want to talk to you about oh boy this is it he wants me to have sex with Barney now remember Peter you can't say yes right away you let him talk you into it he's watching for that it's p
art of the dance I will absolutely have sex with Bonnie sorry Peter you're too eager so I came over to invite you to Susie's christening this weekend Oh and I don't just want you to be a guest I was wondering if you'd be willing to be the Godfather Godfather yeah you're my best friend and well I'd like you to be Susie's Godfather too Godfather too wow you're really warm into this well you've made two very compelling arguments perhaps we should discuss the this further in my poorly lit Den so abo
ut this offer what are you guys discussing and when did we get a den sorry Lois half for being a Godfather is closing the door in your wife's face while she wonders what's going on inside but I just wanted to I forgot it was a swinging [Music] door Jo pno damn it Peter being Susie's Godfather doesn't mean you're in the mob and you can't bring a cat to church why not he's Catholic he does a muttly laugh where's the priest oh the Church ran out of priests months ago cuz of all the didling now they
just have a rabbi fill in Shalom everyone welcome to the christening now before the child goes in the water has it been at least 20 minutes since she ate yes Rabbi wonderful then let's dunk this kid like a donut I hear by chrisen this child in the name of Jesus Christ who was killed by we don't know who it's not important the last thing we want to do is point fingers can you please take my daughter out of the water sorry congratulations sweetie you're a Christian from now on every Sunday you ge
t to eat a hard cookie and pretend it's a guy coffee in the smallest cup we have as you requested gry and let me assure you any shouting you hear from the kitchen is not Gordon Ramsay tearing us apart oh disgusting excy oh God here comes Doug he just got a race car bed and now I'm going to have to hear about it hey Stewie still sleeping in the slow lane okay okay so your mom's still taking you to the ladi's room to go pee pee actually yes yeah me too I don't like the men's room all the urinals a
re at mouth level I don't look at those I'm too busy fixing my hair in the mirror oh I'm sorry chiao Stewie God that was humiliating this party has turned South quick like Brian singer's remake of Casablanca he's looking at you actual kid everyone I'd like to say a few words uh it's a very special day as we dedicate Susie's life to Christ before she can consent to it or have any conception of what's Happening Susie once licked a booger off my hand I'm Chris by the way thanks Chris but let's wait
till we're called upon bud anyway thank you all for coming and to the host Joe thank you for having us in this restaurant with a painted wall that makes Venice look terrible everyone in enjoy uh for the kidss we've got games and also a party princess dressed as Elsa who's clearly a prostitute but please don't proposition her here just nod in her direction trust me she'll get it it's her [Music] profession oh cool they got a pinata Peter it's for the kids like hell it is I'm the Godfather of thi
s event and I want a debilitating wine and Candy headache give me that kid I'm your son you dick sir please you're making a scene no I'm not I can do whatever I want I'm The Godfather uhoh I'm so sorry sir I didn't know steni Bobby Canali hey Portuguese waiters pretending to be Italians get the godfather whatever he wants Godfather there's a new Godfather oh look at the wall why does Venice always look so terrible from now on you eat on the house you will be treated with the utmost respect Godfa
ther gry now please name the menu item I ordered after me the dinosaur chicken tenders all right we'll find something else thank you very much hear that Doug my dad's now The Godfather and yours is VP of systems integration or something what was that Stewie I was invited to sit at the first grade table what how'd you get that invite Big D energy Stewie you either got it or you don't oh yeah what does a d stand for divorced what Stewie my parents are trying to make it work geez Stewie they're doi
ng their best he ended things with a nanny not that it's any of your business oh yeah good for them Gan and Cheryl are wonderful people I I hope they make it work good vibes healing God bless you all God I can't believe Mike Pence came out of the closet just before he hung himself in prison Bon Joy family morning Dad are things going to change now that you're a Godfather good question Chris and yes quite a bit I'll be touching faces a lot more than I used to my boys my Bambinos no touch and I'll
be totally oblivious to the affair between My Bodyguard and my wife you look very nice today Vincenzo hey she gave you a compliment what you got cotton in your ears answer her yeah me head what's with this guy pup and as a mafioso I'll be doing more voiceovers which we'll always begin by naming everyone at the event what does that even mean there we were at breakfast it was me Chris G Megs Lois Griff little Stu and Uncle Junior Grandpa nephew who was my cousin it was one of those breakfasts whe
re you realize you put on your boxes to wrong wrong way and you need an excuse to leave the room we're out of syrup I'll get it you stay here and will you be a stricter dad now interesting question my value system will vary wildly between incredible immorality and intense social conservatism dad there's a shipment of heroin in our driveway excellent I watched a PG-13 movie last night in your mother's house now everyone keep eating until you throw up watch this as a leader in the Italian Communit
y I'll be getting very upset about stor bought pasta sauce pea what the hell that was a preo yeah and preo means you're welcome it's a very cocky name for an average pasta sauce the rest of this is just jokes but that's kind of a good point now kids before you go to school let's discuss what you tell your friends about me that your fingernails are so filthy because you do scratchers all day never talk about the family business things are too hot here for you now you need to go to Italy for 5 yea
rs what you're not safe here anymore so I'm going to send you where all the murderers are [Music] from rud julani anti miguela Mario for ah Mama mia check it out like all cool Mobsters my office is at a strip club yeah but why is it in a male strip club are you kidding dingling is great and just watch where you hang your hat cuz it boners now you three are going to be my lieutenants and don't worry you're all equal in my eyes I don't care one bit if you laugh at my jokes I mean this is the mafia
not the Laugh Factory right H that's hilarious Quagmire is now my top Lieutenant what you said we don't have to like your jokes well I didn't realize it was such a chore this is bull crap and Joe you're a cop how are you okay with any of this are you asking an Irish cop why he's corrupt question withdrawn so uh what do we do now Peter well now that we're a mafia crew I have to do voiceover naming everyone at the event what does that even there we were at the club it was me Glenn quags Joey swin
e and Downtown Julie Cleveland Brown you remember when there were two Julie Browns in the 90s what a mess with the guys at my side we were the most powerful criminal organization in [Music] cohort we lived like kings until things started to come apart after the LT Hansa Heist we discussed laying low but not everyone agreed with that be careful with this we stole it hey Brian just a heads up now that I'm an Italian mob boss I may be treating dogs more roughly um okay okay now where's my chicken P
alm from last night oh I uh I ate it you ate it yeah there was no name on it was just sitting there is there a problem no no no problem I'm home from the market I got steak sandwiches on chab oh that's way better than chicken perm I'm going to have it with my last can of cream soda uh actually I finished that too that's okay Brian Let's Take a Ride and get some at the grocery store pull over here I got to take a leak leave the gun take the cream soda what's going on in here ever since dad became
a mobster he's been giving me a ton of attack Ian children's books Green Eggs and Panetta Horton Hears A yo good night mukes and Where the Wild Things is Stewie this is ridiculous it's not all bad I like having those stelladoro breakfast cookies oh I ate those sorry ah no problem Brian no problem at all hey what do you say you and I do a little [Music] fishing Peter I just got a call from the school when is Chris coming back not for a while he moved in with his girlfriend but apparently they hi
t a rough patch hey [Music] hey good news guys I'm fixing the Olympics I paid a diver to take a dive what do you mean he won you know Peter you've been a mobster for a while now I'm surprised we haven't had any run-ins with rival families what are you talking about they love me like look at this this morning totally unprompted they sent me a lovely wrapped fish what Peter do you know what this means yeah they they're nice guys yesterday one of them even drove by my house to say I had a beautiful
family and it would be a shame if anything happened to him and that's a compliment and empathy when's the last time you guys said something like that uh Peter I'm not sure you he look at this they found Meg's ear and returned it they returned it you know how many guys would keep something like that Peter please close the box I think you need to get wise to what's going on here because their next message may not be so [Music] subtle [Music] [Applause] [Music] There It Is I've been looking for th
at oh thank God the mafia doesn't hate me use dead fat ass love the mafia oh my God the mafia does hate me Lenny what are you doing I already threw the rock I wanted to throw the rock we talked about this you wrote the note I throw the rock so let me get this straight I do the homework and you get to throw the rock I played baseball in college junior college the coach from University of Vermont invited me to walk on I didn't even know you like chucking rocks who doesn't like chucking rocks I did
n't get into the mob to write letters I did it to Chuck rocks and eat sandwiches out of foil hey that actually sounds pretty good you want to go get a sandwich sure from Big Sals of fat Sals what's the difference one's big one's fat what's wrong with you today God I can't believe Melania was deported to Slovenia and then hung herself in a European prison man Peter what are you going to do about the mob don't worry I got a plan I'm going to hide and change my identity to a name no one else has ev
er heard of Roberta Brown Peter that's my daughter's name no it's just some girl I follow on Instagram you know Peter there may be a way out of this cops have been trying to bring down the Rhode Island mob for years if you can schedule a meeting to discuss your differences and wear a wire we'll arrest them after testify against a mob how dumb do you think I am oh my son I thought that hardboiled egg seemed a little shouty all right I'll do it but man if I'm in danger so is Chris I better warn hi
m to be on a lookout [Applause] Beverly H [Music] BMW damn M me okay Peter I'm going to attach the wire now and I'm telling you an advance that it's cold oh it's cold told you in advance warm let your body it's fine now see that's the body heat now if you get into trouble Department regulations say we can't go in there unless you say a code phrase something that you never actually say in conversation so we know it's a signal the phrase is is did you see the new Paul red movie it's laugh out loud
funny come on can't I just say watchable no no you have to say it exactly hotw warming I I mean I could just say heartwarming Peter the phrase is the phrase now you ready to meet those Godfathers I guess wonder where the word Godfather came from anyway I don't know I assume it started with God's father Yello Hey Dad I wrote a Big Show and your grandson Jesus is in it he's kind of the star of it really can you make it look at at you I'm there pal when is it when's the Big Show it's good Friday o
h don't say Friday ah I was afraid of that well there's kind of a postcript to the story maybe you could catch that oh you bet you Slugger it's on Sunday oh you're kidding doesn't anyone do anything on Tuesdays anymore listen I'm getting pulled into this meeting right now but good luck with your thing I promise I am going to be so nice to my [Music] son okay this is [Music] it hey who are you just act natural and even though you're M try not to use your radio voice hey Providence this is Peter w
hirly bird Griffin coming at you on a sizzling Sunday afternoon here no wait a minute you're the new dawn from kohawk follow me we're glad that you finally decided to play ball with us let me introduce you to the other Don Don duck Don K Kong Don Amnesia forget about Don Amaria bang the land Don you come to me today on the Dy daughter's barbecue Don Imus the ruers basketball team is black and disgusting that's a wrap for Don Imus finally the scariest D of them all D thank you I'd like to introdu
ce you all to my suspenseful son D dun dun and and the guy says Oh I thought you were complaining about your angina you never told us a beginning to that joke oh sorry okay Peter the meeting's almost over just don't blow your cover and we're home free hey anybody want to do karaoke after this sure I can use the mic tape to my chest Peter no up the new Paul red movie is watchable I repeat it's very watchable damn it Peter you have to say it exactly fine just laugh out loud not funny freeze you're
all under arrest good job Peter freeze all right nobody do anything stupid hold on I'm just allowing Link in to send automated emails to all my contacts I said don't do anything stupid Peter Griffin wants to add you to his professional Network oh damn it Peter hands behind your head on the ground oh we're going to die all right so long you [Music] two oh my God thank you prago well turns out being a mobster isn't for me well I'm just happy you're home safe me too dad has anyone seen the rest of
my white wine sorry Lois I drank that oh that's fine Brian hey what do you say you and me go for a walk in the woods you know what this is kind of nice I thought you were going to do some kind of Godfather murder on me oh Brian I don't watch mafia movies but I did see Fogo [Music] huh I got to say some days I wish I didn't have a sister what nothing Oh I thought you asked me what was going on with my sister I did not hey look Tom Tucker good evening I'm Tom Tucker coming up tonight's Second Sto
ry But first coog says goodbye to an old friend that's right Tom medieval castle which has been a staple of family entertainment and dining is closing its doors the restaurant has gone into 4 forclosure and we'll be up for auction tomorrow yes hard to believe a place where you eat with your hands next to piles of horse dung while untrained theater students fight with real swords could be drowning in lawsuits medieval castle I love that place my sister almost got a job there once guys we should g
o to that auction tomorrow and buy it I mean can you imagine if we had our own medieval castle I bet it'd be even more fun than when I went to White Castle huh names a little deceiving what's wrong with you oh it's my back it's killing me yeah I'm not falling for that hot oil massage bit again no this time it's not a bit I'm really hurt I must have jacked it up playing sports and not trying to dance like Beyonce wow if you're in that much pain I better tell Lois G please don't then she'll drive
me to the doctor and I hate being in the car with her a shut the door baby don't say a word okay I guess that's not my part there it is guys oh this is going to be awesome we just got to win this auction and then we'll have our own castle oh yeah Over My Dead tooth good afternoon and welcome to today's auction I'm Al Harrington of Al Harrington's wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tuban Warehouse in Emporium due to the presence of black mold discarded half-eaten turkey legs and an undulating R
at King that no one dares approach I have been advised to move these proceedings along as quickly as possible do I hear an opening bid anyone do I hear an opening bid for this Majestic fiberglass Castle facade masking what was once a Midas Muffler Shop two bits two bits that's 25 cents in the old west we have 25 cents do I hear higher than 25 cents this paper bag which could be full of money or my sharks you take the chance we have an intriguing mystery bag do I hear more than the mystery bag tw
o bits and a cardboard box which may or may not contain a mystery bag already the most challenging auction I have ever been a part of do I hear a higher bid from that James Bond villain over there 50 croner which converted to American currency is $77.40 do I hear a much higher bid followed by shocked murmuring $110,000 shock we're all shock we can't afford that Peter do something I can't there's only $9,000 in the mystery bag due to my 12 noon Court appointment as part of a crippling child custo
dy battle with my horrific ex-wife I am saying going once going twice and awarding this condemned building to you damn it we lost I guess the castle was a crazy idea anyway I should probably just invest this money in a 401 gay and how long before I can take this out man those losers don't deserve that castle I would call my sister about this if she were able to answer the phone poor thing poor poor thing well you know in Castle times if you wanted something you just took it what are you talking
about I'm saying the four of us should storm that castle and take it for ourselves should we do it with careful planning or have another couple beers and then just go for it well let's make that decision after another couple beers I checked with my mom and she said it was cool with her if we wanted to sleep here tonight I'm pretty sure I can come me in well I'm going to have to go home and get my pillow Yes you heard me right cancel my insurance I've been in this location for 40 years and never
once have I broken a lamp good day sir God I hope he's got insurance of course he's got insurance he's been at this location for 40 years Yes you heard me right cancel my husband's life insurance he's been in perfect health for 40 years we're selling the lamp store and going to travel we need this after losing both our children good day sir all right Plan B we'll shoot flaming arrows like in Robin Hood so should I be aiming for an open window or just aring it over the wall I don't know I've neve
r seen the movie just the Brian Adams video oh such a good song archers yeah oh yeah he's that guy too prepare to [Music] fire I wonder what they're going to put here Traer Joe's oh I would love a Traer Joe's sorry to keep you I was reading this Highlights magazine in the waiting room do you see any differences between these two pictures oh the pie has a wedge removed yes yes Dr Hartman were you able to tell anything from sto's x-rays oh yep little guy's got scoliosis oh my god oh no am I going
to be a big shoe small shoe guy but don't worry he'll be fine he just needs to wear this brace for a while to correct it oh dear now does he have any school pictures coming up yeah he actually does well then this will not be a refrigerator door [Music] Year all right this says if we don't get arrested for the next 6 months the auson and Mayhem charges will be dropped hey sorry again you guys ah no harm done yeah no hard feelings fellas I've already forgotten about it I'm too busy thinking about
my hot date tonight yeah right hot date with your left hand or your right hand well actually I use both and do like an Indian burn but that's not what this is tonight I'm getting lucky hi are you Mort why yes I am what the hell was that Mort's getting laid yeah thanks to Tinder he's had a different girl every night this week what's tinder it's an app for your phone where two strangers can hook up for a dirty Lea's on what like hookers no just two horny people with phones wait I don't get it so s
o you hit them on the head with your phone and knock them out you just swipe someone's picture they come over and you plow them wow I got to try this I mean easy sex on the internet did you know about this Scott ba uh yeah and you Scott KH did you also know about easy sex on the internet yes and how about you douchebag music producer Scott Storch Quagmire all the Scots know about it okay let's get me set up on this Tinder thing I can't wait wait to start getting laid at the push of a button well
first you got to set up your profile oh yeah I've been working on that I wrote several long paragraphs describing my interests some pet peeves choice of wine couple of inspirational quotes things I've learned from my cats no no no no none of that you want a naked bathroom selfie covering your stuff with a fistful of $100 bills that shows you like sex and you got money well that seems a bit crude ah she's cute and wearing a yin-yang necklace that's interesting wonder what Beach that is no no no
give me that herey you see this you see what I'm doing not even looking I'm swiping yes yes yes yes casting a wide net hey look at this you already got a hit and she sent a message she did what am I looking at here it's mostly small colorful pictures those are emojis read them okay it says hey and then a kissy face and then like a saucy smirking face three balloons and a locomotive the hell is all this it means she likes you send something back okay Dearest Teresa I hope this finds you well I so
appreciated your last communication no stop stop God stop stop just send her an eggplant and the erupting [Music] volcano all right take a gander gaw of the Elephant Man let's get it all out there's our brave guy Brave and just for being such a trooper I thought maybe you could be the first in line for snack today really on pretzel day and after that you can hold the bunny yeah I'll pass on that but the pretzel things sounds up my alley now if I could just find someone to wear this hero hat I t
hink I found him well I say that was a pleasant surprise you know like when a woman in a Porsche Cayenne isn't a complete [Applause] [ __ ] huh wow I did not expect that I wasn't telling you to go I was trying to smell my own [Music] fart hi are you Courtney from Tinder you must be Glenn I got you these a lovely bouquet for a lovely yeah take off your pants and sit on the coffee table okay that was great and we could still make our reservation what why we already had sex wait so I don't have to
make small talk with you or spend any money of course not here wipe yourself off with this West Elm catalog my God this app is amazing thank you cell phone Jesus huh oh yeah fine oh feeling crazy the Moon is up the night is easy Let's Get Lost In the Shadows somewhere we can go go and no one else can lo up your come on loen up your body baby come oh my mind looking like a good good time don't disguise the way you want to love tonight oh my mind hook you at a brand new high don't be shy I just wa
nt to live [Music] tonight so how's it going with the back brace are people giving you a hard time quite the contrary Brian apparently people love The Wretched thanks to this thing I was offered seats directly behind Home Plate at Fenway I passed wow that patient next door is fat I can hear you uh that wasn't me that was Mrs Griffin so I've got Stewie's results here um it appears the back brace has corrected the spine very nicely that's wonderful Stewie doesn't have to wear the the brace anymore
what no I can't give this thing up wait what do you mean you want to keep wearing the brace of course I do it's the best thing that's ever happened to me when I wear this brace I get pampered like the Queen of England so I have the most money in the world right yes your majesty great can you make sure my hair looks like anyone in a nursing [Music] home all right hitting the links Joe golf shorts may not be the right look for you it's going to be a nice day not for us if you wear those well that
seems a little hurtful Hey where's Quagmire our tea 's in 20 minutes I don't know I haven't seen much of him since he discovered Tinder Tinder Quagmire come on it's time for golf I swipe no on golf smells kind of gamey in here swipe yes on Betsy swipe yes on Jennifer swipe yes on Andrea swipe yes on all the lady faces swipe swipe swipe swipe swipe swipe swipe Let's uh let's get a little light in here huh buddy ah the yellow face it burns my Tinder oh my God he's lost it that apps turned Quagmir
e into some kind of sex ghoul the way he's crouching that a test they peeking [Music] out Hey listen Quagmire you're our friend all right we hate to see you like this I don't have any friends only sex people from the phone you got to stop this it looks like you haven't left this room in weeks no need to leave they all come here sometimes they bring burgers and cheese hey come on quag M let's go for a walk huh get some fresh air oh for God's sake you're going to have a baby in your butt man can't
leave Heather within 5 miles is coming are you Glenn within 5 miles I can take my glass eye out if you want to try something different I got a good feeling about her maybe she's the one let's do it in the garage it's kind of cold but we can do sweaters on pants off look he left his phone I'm just going to nudge it with my knee into this empty pizza box and it's stuck to Mye Let's uh let's just go all right we got to just throw that phone away and end this once and for all yeah no kidding Quagmi
re is in bad shape he looks worse than I did after that day at the beach I spanked somebody else's [Music] kid sorry I was late you're still wearing that back brace that that can't be good for you Dr Hartman said you were done with that thing I'm not going to listen to that Bozo of course I'm still wearing it watch me jump this line excuse me I have scoliosis excuse me scoliosis coming through hey pal polio a thousand apologies swipe swipe swipe come on I'm not getting any matches all right Quag
mire we got to talk this whole thing's out of control Quagmire you got to get off Tinder yeah there's plenty of nice women out in the real world to meet the oldfashioned way and on top of that Tinder makes you gross there was a time when you'd be more selective when you were horny and feeling erective now one swipe and there's thousands to Bone all from a sex app you use on your phone that's the Tinder a lot of sad lonely girls who want babies 300 Pounders infested with scabies leather gimps who
do nothing but moan these are the weirdos you'll find on your phone you know a surprising number of them live near the [Music] airport HPV you will catch a do of fls and itching and genital warts cuz Tinder makes you so gross and for kids it's kind of tragic sex for them has lost its magic bang in every Tom and Dick and Jack and Jill and Joan and this also might surprise you all your married friends despise you cuz we're not allowed to have an orgy through our phone you're perverted barely huma
n you're not even close a filthy degenerate seeking a thrill your spirits and genitals run through the with plenty of holes and prescriptions to [Music] [Music] F you guys can just forget it I'm not quitting Tinder guys I've been to the doctors I do have a baby in my [Music] butt H you're still here did we what the deuce Brian Brian yes is it possible to get Showtime for free for the next like 2 hours to see if I like it ran what is this what's happening to me oh my God Stewie it's got to be fro
m wearing that damn bracet all the time your neck must have atrophied so much it can no longer support your head you've got to take me to the hospital absolutely let me just watch Jennifer's Body and we'll go right there Brian there's no nudity in that movie take me to the hospital what so it's rated R for curses God this [Music] country is it is it noticeable no nothing that can't be fixed with a string of chili pepper Christmas lights I wore that brace for the next 5 years of my life the kids
stopped cheering the second day then it was just get off the swing you Christmas [Music] turd I'll have another one Jerome you sure you haven't had too many just give me a drink sir is everything all right I'm fine I'm fine oh oh hey are you on Tinder what that Gross dating thing no look I'm not trying to pick you up it just seemed like you were upset about about something and I know when I'm upset it's nice to let someone else in giggity what did you just say I I I don't know I think I said I s
aid giggity okay come on Quagmire this is a real girl right in front of you just pick her up and take her home you don't need your phone don't listen to him I'm all you need are you really going to listen to a phone over me God I don't know why I do this anymore don't give up miniature Quagmire this is exactly why you got into the over the-shoulder advice business ignore a miniature Quagmire give up on your attempt to convince real Quagmire to not use Tinder and to instead have sex with this wom
an who's right in front of him wait what's going on I'm just saying you used to have skills that no one else had that took you years to hone you were an artist ah damn I think I was too wordy I'm still an artist what was that I was just saying I am upset about something I thought you were do you want to talk about it I do I buried my twin brother today we were very close we used to finish each other's um sentences oh oh I just got chills I'm Sandra I'm Glenn you know I just I just feel like my p
enis shouldn't be alone tonight all right well looks like Quagmire's back yep he's scumming it up in the real world again and all it took was for us to hire that 200 dollar dirty prostitute to pretend to be a nice lady in a bar I'm just glad she's a prostitute and not that lady murderer that's been all over the newse hi I'm that prostitute you guys hired to seduce your friend oh boy well deal's off he's dead but perhaps we can make other arrangements hey do you think I could try to kick one no [
Music] At Last I shall exact my Vengeance and snuff out the miserable flame that has been your life vile woman growing one carrot taking up time filling up the day with nonsense vodka in the [Music] bushes make it it better making it bright what a day think I'll check the mail time to put you out of your [Music] misery what the deuce sorry I broke your toy toy this is a drone grown men who have never had sexual relations fly them over people's houses to try and see something I don't know here wa
nt to play with my toy what the hell is this it's a magic wand watch Alakazam I cast the tickle spell okay okay you got me but seriously cross me again and I will end you you're funny my name's Hudson want to play spin in a circle I'm Stewie yeah I don't think I what the stop it I'm losing track of my surroundings hey this is kind of fun we yes wee wee oh my oh my Hudson time to go I got to go home now I'm glad I met you Stewie you're neat bye bye Hudson I like him he's more fun than an Eddie Mu
rphy bed and check this out that's cool is it a queen not sure but people have said it [Music] is wait a minute this is a self-empowerment seminar you lied to me you said we were going to bed askas in Robins I said we were going to bask in Robin's glow you know what you did I do ladies and gentlemen give it up for Tony [Music] [Applause] Robins how the is everyone oo he swore I trust this guy all of you here are capable of greatness yay but some will never achieve it oh no you sir come out here
she your head is the size of a picnic watermelon H I've been told that and you sound like you were lost at sea and told not to drink sea water but drank sea water Peta well you just listen to him Tony this is why I brought him he's never willing to actually confront his issues sounds like you have no self-esteem I don't Des deserve self-esteem Peter I was once a lot like you unmotivated dangerously obese always relying on cutaways you know that reminds me of the time no Peter no more cutaway sta
y in the present okay okay now tell me what you feel uh a partial erection I don't get touched very often you know you deserve a better life right Peter yes getting hard to breathe in here I want to give you that life Peter time to seize your personal power Yeah by getting away from you you weirdo but first here's that cutaway I was going to do before you made me skip it only now it'll make no sense cast of parks and wreck Peter [Music] away can't believe you dragg me to that fraud that man has
nothing to offer Tony Robins listen I don't have long if I get soaked in the rain I'll be too heavy to move Peter I've seen thousands of people over the years and help helped every single one of them I'm not going to let you be my first failure I told you I don't want your [Music] help Peter I swear I won't stop trying to help you no matter what oh my God Peter stop the car I think he got struck by [Applause] lightning wait where is he he's gone this is freaking me out are are you carrying a fla
sk now this is about you getting better not me hey there's Hudson Stewie you're like a hundred times more advanced than that kid why do you want to hang out with him so badly he's just like a cool guy hi Stewie I'm putting sand on a cat poo cool I like you Stewie can I come over for a play date oh my God oh my God oh my God oh my God oh my God yes yes yes yes yes Brian can Hudson come over for a play date sure I guess so I've never heard you ask for a play date before I know but there's a first
time for everything like when I finally built the Leaning Tower of Pisa out of Legos I did it mom come look Mom yeah be right there stee where's the bush vodka where is it where is it a there it is hi stoy you playing with your kitty [Music] cat the privacy of all glass around me finally I can pick my [Music] nose [Music] [Music] he [Music] [Music] he [Music] hey Peter next time use a tissue who said that it's me Tony Robbins Tony Robbins that's impossible you're dead that may be true but the li
ghtning bolt that killed me seems to have magically transferred my personal power trademark into your car Peter I told you I was going to help you and I'm not leaving until I make good on my promise shoot yourself hey if you're dead can you ask Bill Paxton if he's the same as Bill pman sure hang on he said no but he winked hey Stewie let's play cops and robbers bang bang bang got you gun oh that's that's not that's not a gun these are guns you're welcome Paul Hogan anytime someone says a weapon
is not what it is Paul Hogan gets a royalty royalty check Mr Hogan thanks jumpy whoa what are all these for the usuge destroying enemies world domination oh and killing my mother you want to hurt your mommy Stewie Bloss here she comes well look at these handsome little boys come downstairs I made your favorites grilled cheese cut to look like a dinosaur GH they never look like a dinosaur your mom seems nice she's a slag well I hope you don't use your guns to kill your mom or do anything bad cuz
if you do I won't be able to play with you and that's my favorite thing now it is uh-huh mine too you know what I'm going to let her live I must say I've been evil so long I forgotten what it's like to be kind and it's all because of our friendship Hudson you really mean that you bet I do and I always tell it like it is like when I I used to write tombstones complained a lot of what she did Stewie what are you doing having a funeral Bri say goodbye to evil Stewie did we get a pool is this a [Mus
ic] pool oh my God oh my God oh my God oh my God Stewie Slow Down slow down what happened we went to the zoo we saw an ape at first we didn't think we'd see him cuz he was like hiding back in his house but then he came out we saw him we saw the ape he was big and then and then and then and then and and then and then okay I get it you had fun wait you're not mad I went without you are you no no I I was only going for you and maybe to taunt the animals that aren't able to leave which is all of the
m losers all right you have to take us to lunch but first we need to take our [Music] nap here's your triple bacon burger and your onion rings a crap there's only nine pieces of bacon I paid for 12 but I don't want to make a fuss Peter listen to yourself no one will respect you until you respect yourself first yeah but I'm a nobody you're not a nobody your meal is just as important as anyone else you're right I'm not a nobody say it again I'm not a nobody that's the spirit Peter now yell at that
nobody in the window you there I demand more bacon oh I'm sorry here's more bacon that's not more bacon this is more bacon big day Mr Hogan keep them coming jumpy here's your Star Wars kids meal which action figures did we get I got kylo Ren I got the role during the two months I was a hot actor and now they're stuck with me I got Forest Whitaker even as a tour you can't tell where he's looking I wish I had the poorly cast kylo Ren here Stewie you can have mine you're giving me the better one w
hy would you do that because you're my friend yes you're my friend you're my best friend let's choke on these together that was fun let's [Music] switch okay guys time to play parachute grab an end and lift you know who loves parachute my best friend Hudson you know Hudson I know Hudson too are you going to his birthday party tomorrow I'm autistic and lift birthday party yeah it's at the Family Fun Zone everyone was invited I take up a great deal of the teacher's [Music] time where's the mail on
the table what's going on you seem upset you're you're a real student of the Human Condition aren't you yet somehow it escapes your writing whoa why you attacking me I'm sorry Brian everyone but me got an invite to Hudson's birthday I know why this happened I called him my best friend too quickly well maybe it wasn't meant to be but hey I'm I'm still your friend yeah but Hudson isn't and that's just something I have to live [Music] with Stewie it's 2 a.m. Revenge doesn't sleep sleep come on com
e back to bed no there's something I got to do go get him tiger hey shut your [Music] mouth Victory shall be mine H that's what the baby used to say when I was your age shut up Dad I'm watching Rick and Morty so does Mommy have friends over sometimes at night sometimes it must be weird having only women come over to see mommy no it's mostly men oh it is and you'd be comfortable telling that to a judge good morning family my who's this go-getter Tony Robbins has helped me become a better person i
n fact today I'm going to ask for nay demand a raise nay wow this s you is a bigger surprise than when they're making fun of a celebrity on Saturday Night Live and the real life celebrity walks in behind them boy they're really scking it to the celebrity yeah can you imagine how mad the celebrity would be I mean wherever they are at this particular moment if they're watching they must be that's the actual celebrity walking up right behind him he he's catching him right in the act the the SNL act
or doesn't know oh he's going to get in trouble look how mad the actual celebrity is he's folding his arms and frowning he tapped the SNL actor on the shoulder look how surprised the SNL actor is oh he's completely busted how is this happening oh my [Music] God I was watching upstairs on Hulu I saw it on my phone my plane has [Music] Wi-Fi Stewie Stewie Cog Family Fun Zone uh-oh Stewie's dug up all his weapons oh my god I've got to stop him go get him tiger hey shut your [Music] mouth Tony you'r
e not going to believe it I demanded a raise just like you told me to and they gave it to me Tony Tony you in there guess who Peter Gina Davis no it's me Peter turn around Tony you're alive but how I saw you get struck by lightning I was created by lightning Peter in a lab like Frankenstein and what do you think about fire anyway after the lightning strike I climbed into your trunk and that's where I've been living the past week so whenever I heard your voice that was just you in the trunk that'
s right why would you go to all that trouble Peter I told you I wasn't going to let you be my first failure wow Tony I don't know how I can possibly thank you you don't need to thank me Peter I have hundreds of millions of dollars I keep it in my forehead well I bet to be going you have a smart car I have [Music] too I'm coming broken people hey everybody we want to give a special shout out to little Hudson on his [Applause] birthday [Music] no soda sticky [Music] balls [Music] damn you [Music]
[Applause] [Music] all Stewie that's my name don't wear it out yeah let that wash over you learn that from a third grader any last words yeah I'm glad to see you you never R asvp to the invite my mom sent you you invited me yes he did Brian what are you doing here and how do you know I was invited because I threw your invitation away you what I know I'm sorry I I just I saw how you were connecting with Hudson and I I was afraid of losing our friendship friendship Brian you and I have never been
friends we we haven't no friends are people who come in and out of our lives but you and I are family that's [Music] forever sorry I caused all this trouble I hope you can forgive me oh that's okay nothing could ever come between us I'm even going to make a speech at your wedding so Brian and I are down in Mexico and as usual he doesn't have any cash on him that's probably why your parents are paying for all this right Evan wait hold on Evan why am I gay in this that's the end of the show we som
etimes do something silly [Music] here so now that you got me back as a friend what are all the great things you have planned for us uh we could go see a movie oh movie that's a great idea you know what'll get me out of this funk The Equalizer 2 okay all right fine I got I got nothing exactly and you were such a jealous little [ __ ] that you had to ruin the one friendship I really cared about you're just a big jerk and I hate you and there's nothing you can do to make up for it fine maybe I'll
just go out and get some ice cream ice cream I like ice cream yeah I don't know I think it's more of a bigger kid thing no no no no I've had ice cream like six times all right come on let's go you know Brian I'm starting to think we're going to get through our rocky road we had a lot of laughs tonight but let's remember the important thing you can't put a price on your happiness which is why I have it's boy oh boy is it Friday yet tomorrow and actually in Tasmania it's already Friday I thought y
ou be more fun Griffin you'll be very happy to know I finished conducting my employee productivity evaluations I used a system called the determining employee advancement duties work engagement intelligence gains hourly test or dead weight and my results show you to be the Brewer's least productive employee so pack your bags I'm fired no you're going on a business trip with me as my assistant since you won't be missed at the office we're meeting with our New Jersey distributor in Atlantic City e
veryone I'll be away on business for a few days starting tomorrow so we're bringing in a substitute boss I hope he's a hard ass but what if he's wearing jeans hey guys my first name is Dan which is what you'll all call me now who wants to watch [Applause] [Music] Ratatouille sorry that guy over there tripped me Mr Edwards the guidance counselor yeah the bullying in this school has gotten a little out of hand you must be Heather the new girl how'd you know I was new I'm coh Hog's number three rea
ltor I really wanted to sell that house to your folks but you're in great hands with Gil what's this principal Shephard is directing an adaptation of baz lurman William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet the local Ruth's Chris Steakhouse is sponsoring it I'm playing Juliet wow you're Juliet in Ruth's Chris's principal Shepherds BZ lurman William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet yes it's great but we're auditioning for a new Romeo the parents of the boy we cast said he needed emergency conversion thera
py anyway nice to meet you [Music] Chris I have to be in that play nice hat dork that's not nice Mrs Daman the elderly school nurse Peter is something wrong we've been here an hour and you've hardly touched your penis it's not like you it's getting cold sorry guys I just found out I have to meet my stupid boss in Atlantic City for a business trip Peter business trips are great yeah haven't you seen Cedar Rapids with Ed Helms he plays a Salesman who goes to a conference in the titular City there
he encounters three repeat attendees who lead him on a profound weekend Journey equal parts hope and self-discovery I memorize Rotten Tomatoes movie descriptions you'll have one meeting and then the rest of the time you just party party with Preston but he doesn't drink I wish you guys could come wait a minute why not you guys should drive down with me all right let's do it your Rapids rated R for drug use and Mild sexual content I've never been to Atlantic City let's just watch this ad from the
ir tourism Department welcome to Atlantic City the inspiration for Bruce Springsteen's saddest song want to see brown ocean water stained with gasoline rainbows come on down to Atlantic City love to watch guys with no noses fight women with tra holes you're in luck and if you're wondering where Taylor Hicks has been he's here in a small lounge with a low stage Atlantic City come flick a lit cigarette at a dealer [Music] today published by the Samuel French company New York copyright this egg m C
ml XX what are you doing reading Romeo and Juliet we're doing it at school and this girl I like is playing Juliet I'm going to audition for Romeo there's kissing Chris listen acting isn't easy you're going to need some help see what I'm doing scarf a high stool one leg up hands clasped over knee engaged and in the moment do you know what this means you're gay an acting coach yes what is a baby know about acting yes I'm a baby it's hard being youngest always looking for a way to distinguish myse
lf to [Music] contribute Stewie I didn't mean it neither did I that was acting Chris wow you're amazing do you think you could give me some pointers it will be my great honor that was also [Music] acting thought I'd swing by work work first and pick up a case of beer for the road then we're off hear him breathe AC's on full blast and he's covered in sweat Lois will be a widow soon right yeah he's circling the drain and let me guess no estate planning would you guys tell me if my cars smell this
bad everywhere I look I see another stray french fry hey guys I know I'm new to the group but Peter's not here to defend himself so I don't think it's right for us to talk about him like this [Music] Griffin what are you doing here oh hey Preston why do you have a case of beer oh oh this uh it samples for clients excellent idea say why don't you just drive me that way I can be productive the entire trip it'll be like greenbook a movie I only saw because I believed it to be a book oh yeah you kno
w I once tried to read Jaws cuz I thought it was the movie couldn't go into a library for years after that guys listen Preston wants to drive with me he can't know you're all coming so everyone in the way back not hiding in the back of your car why there's nothing in there except for Lois's jog bras all right you heard the man everyone in these are Megs we've been duped hop in boss if I speed we can make it in 4 hours you'll do a steady 55 mph and we will stop to read historical markers along th
e way oh starting with a museum of black guy mustaches [Music] oh some Hotel they only had smoking rooms and very smoking rooms check it out a stack of pre-written suicide notes all you have to do is sign your name this place has everything I wish there were more than two beds now I'll just sleep in my chair you sleep sitting up Joe oh yeah Bonnie puts a falcon hood on me and I go right out I'm calm and no longer motivated by prey Griffin open up guys hide in the shower hello Griffin I'm right n
ext door in a slightly larger room seems like an unnecessary detail here is this weekend's itinerary we're working all weekend Griffin our New Jersey distributor is threatening to drop our beer in favor of hard Seltzer because New Jersey I need to convince them that we are the best scumbag beverage around if we lose this account we lose the brewery and then it's time to cast open the windows and drop to the freedom of the pavement I read that in a stack of suicide notes in my room see you at 180
0 hours Peter I better shower because I have no idea how soon or late that is hey what the hell sorry I forgot why are you at half mask I'm 45 Joe that's full mask Chris any good acting coach will tell you that before your audition it's important to warm up now let's improv give me a location Stewie's bedroom okay maybe just spend another second on Stewie's bedroom okay fine and a profession acting teacher again maybe just give it one more failed actor I got tired of playing their game it's okay
Stewie after a few NOS these young brand lose a little of their vinegar tell you what let's improv as Romeo and Juliet you'll be he I'll be she get in let's get in I'd like permission to go inside Juliet hi Juliet I'm not I'm not there just yet all right Juliet is eluding me a little my transformation is not yet complete hi Juliet damn it Chris I'm not ready but you were standing like a girl my body work was perfect yes but I still hadn't touched the soul all right all right even though you're
off to a rough start it's okay even Michelangelo wasn't appreciated until later in life hey how's Jakey doing hey he's good they got him building arches over at the Coliseum big construction job how about Mikey yeah he's um he's been carving dongs out of marble you know something [Music] different wow this place is sad I'm one of the skinniest guys here guys Preston's coming be I'm 11 seconds late I'll credit you the time in our 2-minute break in 180 minutes let's work pcket Patriot Ale the best
carbonated fermented alcoholic beverage made from malted cereal grain for the New Jersey Market Zing that's not very catchy I didn't bring you for your opinions Griffin I brought you for your width now stand up while I project my presentation on your back this is humiliating I got to figure out a way to escape Preston and join the guys which is why our beer is the best beer for the Garden State and now for a restorative 60-second power [Music] naap you'll nail this audition Chris behind you fel
las oh hi Meg that's not her all high school theater Tech girls just look like Meg Chris Griffin to the stage please okay Chris go time curtain Rises lights up a Story begins and today our story is about a rising star in constellation showz major Chris Griffin at the Stewie Griffin Workshop he studied commercial technique and acting for camera and will soon be seen in a local news story about kids who throw stuff at Birds enter CHR Chris she does teach the Torches to burn great it's fine Chris t
he part's yours I got my first ever response on Tinder and I got to make this happen now are you sure you're not a baby pretending to be a middle-age divorce would a baby be wearing a sheer sham from Lane Bryant Chris congratulations we did it Stewie oh my God I'm going to kiss Heather thank again for all your help dear boy I'm not going anywhere my coaching will continue today's lesson acting teachers are weirdos who always grab your hands like this and you can't do anything about it no no [Mus
ic] no this is awesome Here's to Us doing what we normally do but in a different place Griffin I knew I'd find you in a bar I am furious but that doesn't mean you shouldn't introduce me to your friends as a common courtesy oh yeah uh Quagmire Cleveland Joe want to see Sebastian Manis calco with us in the Stardust room he's that comedian who's always startled by the pasta he takes pictures with no I'm too busy trying to save our jobs go home Griffin you are useless to me and the Brey you will nev
er amount to anything at work oh yeah well you'll never amount to anything at life you don't know how to make friends or have fun you never even tasted the beer yourself at least I know why it's special maybe you're right I don't quite understand its appeal well here's your [Music] chance for the record I've never SE seen this [Music] movie actors on stage I think you mean company positions now this is the scene where makio warns Romeo about Juliet's angry brother tibble who's playing mausio uh
10 oz bone in ribey man Ruth's Chris really has their hooks in this thing okay Chris move to the right stage left hether come forward down stage and to the right stage left back up Chris upstage Chris stop stage go am I scared of tibble yes but Juliet can't know I'm going to build on that if I may ignore that direction Chris no Chris follow the emotion and take it further great note Chris don't listen to the note take it further of course absolutely take it further but in the opposite direction
who's in charge here I'm starting to wonder that myself if you're trying to drive me out of my own production you've got another oh my first response on Farmers Only a divorce a in Ohio wants to show me her sheer Lane Bryant Teddy fine the show's [Music] yours oh man my head is killing me did did we do something bad last night something really bad Preston texted me at 2: a.m. what do we do if Preston isn't at that presentation the BR he's going to go under Hotel cribs are always so comfy I wish
I knew where to get one of these puppies guys Preston's missing we got to find him that hooker in the bathroom was dead when I found [Music] [Music] her okay Preston's not answering in text in the presentations in 3 hours we got to retrace our [Music] steps we've been to every strip joint in town and can't find Preston anywhere we hit uggos with a z at the end Jersey girls with a Z on the end C-sections with a Z on the end I think we can all agree that the Z on the end takes sexy to the next lev
el and when the Z is a little tilted on the sign ooh la la hey do you remember seeing us last night with a dignified black man getting a little tired of you punching that word no just you for but that pilot there said he'd pay for my college that doesn't sound like me two-year Community College oh yeah that yeah that sounds like [Music] me I really like working with you Heather me too Chris by the way if you want to go in for a real kiss today I won't stop you places everyone and I want to see a
cting today no more Amateur hour oh Romeo I don't believe you again oh Romeo bring it down oh Romeo bring it up oh Romeo can we get a sip of water for our actress she's sounding a little smacky that's it I quit I am too pretty and Rich to put up with this she is Rich her dad owns a bunch of Ruth's Chris Steak houses Stewie you ruined everything I was finally going to kiss a beautiful nice girl she had my heart and I had hers why must Dark Forces conspire to extinguish Love's [Music] light everyo
ne we finally have our Romeo thanks stey but what about Juliet don't you worry Ruth's Chris's Stewie Griffins principal Shepherds B lurman William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet what was the question I I don't remember hello I lost my boss so I'll be your substitute presenter today but no watching Ratatouille we don't get that joke which references something from earlier the importance of pet Patriot Ale products in relation to the greater New Jersey Market as prepared by Preston Lloyd I've alre
ady lost him what can I do I need a beer ah much better wait a minute that's it look you're not going to understand beer with numbers of PowerPoints beer is good because it makes you feel better and do awesome things you wouldn't normally do beer makes memories that will last until you black out and when you forget there are no regrets beer is courage the courage to Moon people from a not moving car beer helps you achieve New Heights a top the shoulders of unwilling strangers in a chicken fight
beer makes you grab the brass ring or a taser of a casino security guy but if you won't listen to me listen to Supreme Court Justice Brett kavanau I liked beer still like beer beer is great because life is hard don't make it harder with [Music] s oh my God you're cheering me no we just saw a picture of Bon joovie on the wall behind you but you still won us over Pock at Patriot Al will stay the choice of New Jersey [Music] alcoholics Preston you're alive yes and thanks to you so is our company bu
t how are you even standing Peter I had one sip found it disgusting then watched you get totally annihilated in 3 minutes flat I realized only a true drunk could save the brewery that's why I sent you that text last night I spent the morning enjoying all four Monopoly railroad properties I Love Trains I'm on the Spectrum why didn't you respond to texts looking at trains Love Trains I also love watching an employee go from least productive to well kind of productive Thanks for believing in me Pre
ston hey you want to go down to the pier and watch the bodies float in I'd like [Music] that oh there's one oh that bird is going to town on him oh there's another one with no hands and no feet what do you think it is Russians always the Russians how come the bodies are all so fat they're full of water Peter is that why I'm so big on account of the water no Peter you are aggressively obese you have no self-control if you don't change your ways you are going to die [Music] prematurely oh look a l
ady yes Peter a [Music] lady here's to my love oh true Apothecary thy drugs are quick thus with a kiss I die oh no Romeo's dead now he can't enjoy Ruth's Chris steakhouse's surf and turf two for one Fridays you did it the attention everyone mail call mag teen people Chris Amazing Spider-Man Lois Redbook World War II Army guy a letter from your gal open that one up buddy all right that e that e Dear Willie it's been awful lonesome since you've been away hey you hear that fella she misses me you'r
e all wet hey check this out we got invited to a party Peter Griffin you and your family are cordially invited to a Galla dinner in your honor at Rocky Point Manor what what are they honoring you for who cares it says here is for the whole weekend and it's free well who's the invitation from I don't know it doesn't say well you're not going to go are it's clearly some kind of scam oh well then maybe we just go and you go to the kennel oh not the kennel last time you left me there for an hour or
10 years I don't know there's no clock there you'll stink when you come out of [Music] there dad are we almost there yeah according to the map we're pretty close ah p a [Music] look [Music] [Music] my God this is absolutely beautiful fall I bet Jeff propes has a house like this Joe Peter the hell are you guys doing here well we got an invitation to a dinner in my honor I assumed it was for all those arrests I made last month that's weird my invitation said it was in my honor I assumed it was for
being able to fart the alphabet which I almost did till I pooped on the S ah well everybody on the bus was upset long before that anyway what the Derek and Jillian wow hi Brian hey kiddo what what are you guys doing here I got a card that says they're throwing a dinner in my honer wait a minute what the hell's going on here everybody got the same invitation oh hey uh didn't think I'd see anyone I knew here this uh this is Stephanie hi everybody oh my gosh I never thought I'd beet Glenn's friend
s yeah I figured why not you you know you we you and I see each other from time to time oh my God we like never see each other this guy you like disappear for a month and then you call me so silly oh you're lucky I like you so much okay want don't you go ahead and take the bags in wow it looks like the whole town got invited [Music] keep you will all please follow me to third floor I show you to your rooms you are all expected for dinner at 8:00 oh good I'm starved settle down will [Music] you n
one of this makes any sense everyone got invitations from an anonymous source for a dinner in their honor when that's clearly not the case now we're here where the hell's our host at least you all had evening wear provided for you I thought this was going to be a lawn party I don't have one pair of long pants boy it's kind of awkward seeing Jillian here with Derek wonder if she's thinking about me I don't know are you a pony or the color blue Derek look huh how do you like that good good Heavens
Meg you're sprouting up like a weed I know she's growing every day Meg you remember Dr Hartman of course she does I performed her very first pelvic exam unless I'm confusing you with someone else no that was that was [Music] you good evening everyone James Woods [Music] thank you for joining me at my humble Manor I'd like to introduce you to my lovely companion Priscilla nice to meet you all who's he James Woods Oh I thought he was a shark no he was on a show called Shark but he's made of wood
no his last name is woods but he's not made of wood nobody is this truly is a night to celebrate especially for me hey what's going on here Woods the invitation said this was a dinner in my honor that's what mine said too yeah me too mine too same here where's the food well actually this dinner honors all of you where should I begin you see recently I've become a born- again Christian thanks to this beautiful little angel she came into my life as if out of nowhere Enchanted me beyond my wildest
dreams and opened my eyes to the cleansing truth of Jesus Christ's love no honey it was always within you I just helped you find it um what does all this gay stuff have to do with us well the fact of the matter is I have wronged each and every one of you in some way and since I am a man of God now I am truly repentant so I invited you all here to make amends now why the hell should we trust you yeah you've been terrorizing our family for years I understand that there is some healing to do here t
onight and I am prepared to be patient please won't you just give me a chance and I promise you won't be disappointed now if you'll excuse me I'll just go check on dinner oh I'll help you sweetheart this is all very strange I agree something's not right I don't know maybe we should give him a chance maybe he really is born again well he could be it all depends on what his astrological sign is shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up I'm very intuitive with these things maybe if I sit in his chair
I can get a reading on his energy I mean if he's an aquarius a rebirth would not be unexpected that's enough Stephanie you know it's like when I did Glenn star chart did the did the cork hit [Applause] me my God she's dead she's been shot I can't help feeling this would be sadder if she wasn't heavy oh my God it was him it was James Woods he killed Stephanie Shez I knew it was crazy but I didn't think he was a murderer oh he must have brought us here to kill us all run run for your lives quick
we got to get out of [Music] here come on get in the car [Applause] oh my God Peter back it up oh really Lois I thought I might drive forward I thought that that might be a fun thing to do stop [Music] fighting oh my God quick Peter get in the back oh thank God we made it oh ow my neck you backed it to me and and now oh and your back and my back my back yes oh all right it looks like we're stuck here storm has flooded the causeway and the bridge is destroyed for the moment there's no way out no
way out great film sha young naked in the limo what are we going to do we can't just stay here with James Woods lurking somewhere in the house all right does anyone have a cell phone I'm not getting any reception me neither no bars look he's got a land line we can use oh no you know I wouldn't feel right about that we're guests and it's long distance doesn't matter the line's dead oh my God whoa whoa whoo all right look everybody but Chris just keep your pants on and let's figure a way out of th
is he's right we just got to stay calm with the killer in the house killer in the house hey guys has anybody seen James sweetheart you may want to sit down for this who one little tiny tacos o little taco I'll have one of those it's him sorry it took so long I was going to the bathroom and I just couldn't stop looking at my penis cuz it's you know so fantastic you're a Monster yeah I heard it's fantastic you're a monster James Woods you think you could just commit murder and get away with it cra
igm love that girl easy murder what are you talking about you're going away for a long time pal Jimmy what does he mean look I honestly don't know what's going on here oh really well maybe that dead pilot cookie dough in the Next Room will refresh your memory what do you mean there's nothing in the Next [Music] Room it's gone where is she Woods what' you do with the body what body you know maybe she wasn't dead I'll admit it I'm I'm not great with that stuff sometimes all right I don't know what
's happening here but look I'm a lot of things a member of Mena a huge hit with the ladies someone who you know would have broken out bigger if he weren't sooss to work with right but a murderer I only just found God why would I jeopardize my entrance into heaven if I were you I'd keep your mouth shut till you talk to a lawyer I didn't kill anybody oh my God is this what black people see all the [Music] time look he's dead oh my God nice nobody touched the knife there could be fingerprints on it
so James Woods murdered Stephanie and then he murdered himself crisscross oh Peter don't you see he didn't kill himself and he didn't kill Stephanie what are you saying I'm saying James Woods isn't the murderer the murderer is one of us and someone ate the last goat cheese taret now I hope I die [Music] next okay everyone it's important that we all stay calm how are we supposed to stay calm there's a killer in the room we all got to get out of here we're all going to die Mr Mayor pull yourself
together wait a minute Joe [Music] look oh my God Stephanie was an accident that's a way of putting it what do you mean Jo this gun was time to fire directly at that chair where James Woods would have been sitting but he left and Stephanie was in the wrong place at the wrong time so whoever the murderer is they were after James Woods not Stephanie the question is who here wanted James Woods dead let's look around and see if we can find any more clues [Music] oh my God Brian I feel like everyone'
s wondering why I'm wearing shorts nobody's even looking at you that's what I mean the fact that no one has said anything makes it even more obvious that everyone has noticed Brian look what I found check it out I'm a robot from OU of space hang on I'm coming down go go gadget skis uhoh all right since it's my fault that Joe got knocked out it is now my responsibility to take over the investigation I I don't know if that actually follows oh it does follow Brian because I'm the one with the giant
magnifying glass is my eye big yeah good good that means progress all right let's let's figure out what we know here the gun was clearly meant to kill James Woods but Stephanie got in the way so the murderer had to improvise and finish the job by stabbing him now who here had a motive for wanting James Woods dead well according to James Woods we all did he brought us here to make amends with us but he wronged one of us enough to want revenge the question is who well I know one person who could
have my partner Tom all right it's true James Woods ruined my career I originally wanted to be an actor and I booked the lead role in Nightmare on Elm Street but James Woods said no don't bother something else will come along so I turned it down and now this Robert England is the talk of the town that should be me everyone's talking about was I angry yes of course but I didn't kill him what about Sheamus you hated James Woods you told me so I he's the one who made me what I am today I wish you w
ere a real live or see Captain but he didn't wish hard enough it only worked on me head but I'm not the killer what about the mayor he could have killed him and got himself off scotf free he took the Twitter name Mayor West so now I have to use mayor underscore West that ratface Cracker and what about Quagmire fine so he stole Cheryl teags from me he ruined your TV pilot go to hell I backed out of that project willingly oh yeah that's what every hack says you know Brian my secret room's bigger m
ine's smaller all right stand back this could be [Music] dangerous laundry room laundry room everybody oh see here we go [Music] [Music] aha James Woods made a list of all his misdeeds so he could make amends Bonnie he punched you in the throat and that's why you sound like that no he punched me in the throat because I sound like this what are all these God there are tons of oxycotton bottles in here all prescribed to James Woods and all from Goldman's Pharmacy what's that all about Goldman I do
n't know what you're talking about James Woods never bought anything in my Pharmacy ever yes he did says here he talked Muriel into selling him oxycoton for him and his 19-year-old girlfriend this went on for weeks but then she started to have misgivings and threatened to cut him off but he wouldn't let her he threatened to blackmail her by turning her into the feds sounds like a pretty good motive to me no no it's not true I would never kill anybody never and I am not saying another word until
I talk to my lawyer because why is he wearing shorts oh my God I told you Muriel Just Surrender quietly it'll be easier for us all if [Music] you she's [Music] gone we lost her well as long as there's a murderer on the loose none of us are safe all right let's split up and search the house I'll go with Lois Chris you check the basement with Herbert Meg you go with Brian and Stewie uh no she she can't yeah uh she can't we we we were going to use this time uh to figure out what to get you for your
birthday oh ah okay yeah no you guys go you got oh oh now I'm excited um okay U Meg you go with Carl sorry Carl Tom and Diane you're a team Quagmire and Bonnie you're a team um Sheamus and Dr Hartman that not could be funny don't usually see the two of you together uh Derek and Jillian you guys take the attic Joe and Priscilla are still passed out so they'll be the unconscious team and that leaves one threers team of Mt canuela and Maya West all right let's do this so uh you guys like to party
no oh no oh my God what a couple of squares squaresville I tell [Music] you what are we supposed to be doing again we're looking for Muriel Goldman h H hello is anybody up here hey maybe it was that cat that who is the murderer let me ask him meow meow meow meow meow meow meow we don't all talk like that I happen to be a professor our apologies sir I should imagine so now if you'll excuse me I have papers to [Music] correct yri oh yeah like she's going to answer you Tom and here we go with the a
ttitude this is why you're single oh so I'm not supposed to point out when you do something stupid you hear that hear that tone you're using that's penis repellent right [Music] there careful she could be hiding behind any one of these statues Muriel this is Tom Tucker from the Channel 5 News perhaps you'd like an autograph oh for God's sakes do you hear yourself there it is knock it off hey wait a minute doesn't feel like there's any wall [Music] here what do you think's in there I don't know l
ooks scary what do you think Holly I miss olly I better take a look no I'll go first do you see anything no it's it's too dark Tom [Music] Tom oh sweet a pool table let's see if we can find some cues what is it it's okay it's just the stuff bear from The Great Outdoors did you see the Great Outdoors no you suck hey I found the pool Cube use Meg looks like I'm all alone well hey that's all right I watch a lot of movies I can just use my imagination hi Carl hey bear so um in the Bear World are lik
e pandas your version of interracial children yeah pandas aren't something I agree with they're cute though right just when they're babies okay um Lost in Space yeah okay [Music] um that's Dick Van djk okay um okay I I I got one um I have no idea Linda Evans and John forze they're coming down big long stairs come on Brian you know this come on bri right you you don't know this Falcon Crest oh it's Dynasty oh yeah I didn't watch [Music] that oh my God oh my God Muriel my sweet Muriel she was so y
oung she was so beauti she was so generous we were married look this is the same knife that killed James Woods oh my God then Muriel wasn't the killer well then who is I don't know but one thing's for sure if we don't find out before this storm lets up we're all going to be dead by morning all right if we're going to make it out alive we got to stick together from now on is everyone here wait a minute wait where's mag and where's Tom Tucker right here oh my God what happened I fell through a tra
p door that led to an underground passageway so I followed it and it led me to a hatch over there in The Parlor the same thing happened to me but with a mustache hey Peter look at this I'm getting a faint signal on my cell phone really oh my God is that are you holding up the whole Hollywood Sign no no no no the sign was way in the background I was standing in the foreground going like this when Jillian took the picture so by forced perspective it looks like I'm holding up the whole sign I don't
believe you I think you are a God and I will die for you or kill others damn it the Signal's gone if I can get up to the roof or something May maybe I can get a stronger signal and call the police okay and I will skin this dog in your honor please don't As You Wish do you really think it could work Derek there's only one way to find out I'll be back all right nobody leaves this room until he gets back wait a minute something's not right here we're short one vagina in this room oh my God Priscil
la's [Music] gone that's impossible she was still past that on the couch when we left oh what the hell happened Joe you're okay yeah I'm fine what's going on what's going on is Priscilla's the murderer wait a second we don't know that well she was by herself this whole time yes but she was unconscious she could have come too and killed Muriel this is all speculation we don't know she's the killer yeah besides she's hot hot chicks are never crazy Derrick lifted up The Hollywood shine he did too I
saw a picture don't touch me [Music] come on [Music] yes hey what are you doing up here wait a minute what the hell is this oh my God it's you the man or woman who's been killing everybody stay back stay [Music] back it came from over there dear God he's dead do you think he slipped off the roof maybe but he was dead before the fall look at this he's been hit in the head by a blunt object oh my God no Derek oh Jill I'm so sorry hey can you grab his phone I want to prove something to these guys
it's Priscilla I mean it's got to be Priscilla she's the only one who's not here look maybe maybe not we thought Muriel was the Killer and look how that turned out we have no proof of anything is this the latest you've ever stayed up this the latest I've ever stayed up oh no someone take Mr Wood's Golden Globe she's right there was a Golden Globe award here and it's gone I think we may have identified our blunt object so all we have to do is find that Golden Globe and we'll have our murder weapo
n and if we're lucky may just mean we'll have our killer all right from this moment forward nobody leaves the group Joe's right everyone huddle up good now we're going to search the house and we're going to move as one anyone who separates from the group we will assume to be the killer I'll clear all right let's do this all right we got to search every one of these rooms we'll start with quag Meyers oh my God are those Stephanie's Underpants oh God they're huge looks like a crotch got chewed on
by a walrus mouth look it's got flowers I mean why Baba who's going to see him maybe someone in space come on guys can't we all just just be glad she's dead whose room is this it's uh my room you travel with a giant poster of yourself yes it helps me get to sleep knowing that big Tom Tucker is keeping a watchful eye out for nocturnal Intruders what a ridiculous man you are look I didn't know my room was going to be scrutinized if you don't like it let's get out of here not until we've searched t
he place you [Music] guys oh my [Music] god well well I think we found our killer oh now well now wait a minute that's not mine I suppose it crawled under your bed all by itself well maybe it did I didn't murder anybody tell it to Mike Judge whoa whoa whoa whoa this is crazy what about Priscilla we have no idea where she is she could have planted that there well I suppose it's possible what the hell God dang it I got a nose bade no you don't Peter give me a boost [Music] you're going to jail Tuc
ker like hell I am you're not taking me anywhere you Podunk Cog redneck cup not you are anyone else in this damn town I'm not going to jail after [Music] him [Music] give it up Tucker make me Swanson damn he's slippery you guys give up what do we do wait a minute wait a minute guys I got an idea shoot what if half of us go around one side of the table and the other half go around the other side and then we won't have to chase them around in circles damn that's awfully risky it sure is but at thi
s point I'm willing to try anything all right let's do it it worked let me go let me go you bastards you're all going to pay for this just for that when the movie of the story comes out I'm going to make sure Adrian Brody plays you I guess that means you don't want anyone to see it okay all [Music] right [Music] thanks a lot for your help boys Lo are any of my hot wheels in the bath Lo Lois Lois Lois Lois are any of my hot wheels in the bathroom now I put them all in your bag okay well I don't s
ee the fire engine but I guess we'll just find out when we get home won't we I'll see you in the car hi Diane oh hi Lois how you doing yeah I just thought I'd make sure you were okay oh I'm managing it's just so hard to believe you can work with someone for 15 years and yet have no idea who they really are or what they're capable of oh I know and I'm sorry so what happens now will you just ank of a new news by yourself I suppose for the time being well that's kind of exciting right you sound lik
e my mother she actually bought me this blouse for my first solo broadcast I guess that's sweet huh she I'm sorry I don't understand what do you mean I mean how could she have known you'd be anchoring alone I I mean none of this happened until gosh I uh you know I think I better uh go make sure Peter has his uh fire engine oh really but I was enjoying our talk oh no I so was I but you know I really I should I should go no I don't think so oh my God oh my God it was you you're the killer very cle
ver Lois you shouldn't have stopped to say hi to me you would have lived longer God why do I ever try to be friends with other women but Diane why how could you do all these horrible things well I suppose it all really began a year ago when James Woods and I met at a press event and began seeing each other we both valued our privacy however so we agreed to keep it a secret from the media everything in my life was wonderful but then a few months ago I turned 40 it was hard for me to begin with bu
t it got worse when not so coincidentally Tom began pushing Channel 5 News to replace me with a fresh young face and he succeeded 3 weeks from now I'll be off the air well apparently all men think the same way because around the same time James dumped me I watched my career and my love life crumble and I wasn't going to just stand by and take it that's when I had the Good Fortune to meet a Young News intern named Priscilla she was so anxious to get into the reporting business and would have done
anything to get on my good side so I seized the moment I paid her off to seduce James Woods and reel him into a relationship like a fish on a line I knew a hot young woman like Priscilla could manipulate him into doing anything I wanted at my direction she persuaded him to become a born- again Christian and instilled him with the drive to bring together all the people he wronged that's how this weekend came to pass of course Priscilla knew nothing of my real intentions but she played the part b
eautifully nonetheless there's no way she could have known I plan to kill James Woods and frame Tom Tucker thereby destroying the two people who cast me as side and ruined my life oh my God you're 40 yes I'm 40 but then why did you kill the others it was all supposed to go so smoothly the hidden gun goes off kills James Woods and at the first opportunity I retrieve the gun and plant it in Tom's Bag James Woods is dead Tom goes to prison nice and easy but Stephanie got in the way she was in James
chair at the wrong time and when I realized my mistake I had to improvise the power outage provided a perfect cover I grabbed the knife off the dinner table and stabbed him but as Joe pointed out there were fingerprints I couldn't just leave it there so when Tom and I got separated in the gallery I went back into the dining room and got the knife but at that moment Priscilla regained Consciousness after fainting she started to become hysterical I knew I couldn't risk her revealing that I had en
gineered this whole Gathering so I killed her and I HIIT her in Tom's room I tried to plant the knife in Tom's suitcase but at that moment Muriel walked in and caught me in the act it wasn't her fault poor thing but she had to die I stabbed her and she screamed I had to leave the knife in her because I couldn't very well hide it on my person with everyone quickly closing in so I wiped off the fingerprints and ran I slipped in with the rest of the group when they all converged on the scene I need
ed more time to finish my work framing Tom but that's when Derek went out to the the balcony I couldn't let him contact the police before everything was in place so I had to kill him too when Peter was yelling at everyone about that picture of Derek holding up the Hollywood sign I grabbed the Golden Globe and slept out I followed Derk outside and did what I had to do I barely had enough time to plant the Golden Globe in Tom's room and run back downstairs where I took advantage of the commotion a
nd joined the crowd as they were all running outside and the rest well you did all the rest for me you turned on Tom exactly as I planned so there it is Lois my God but wait there's one thing unaccounted for what happened to Stephanie spotty actually that's the one thing I don't know damn it well now you know everything Lois which of course means I have to kill you oh was you coming I can't play my tapes without the key well actually Lois and I were just about to go for a quick walk weren't we L
ois we've been getting better acquainted all right well just give me the key please all right Peter I'll get it don't put a gun in my back I'm not I'm just asking for the key give me the key Peter we've been married 20 years please recognize what I'm acting out of the ordinary because I'm in danger here you go here's the okay Pete why is she calling me Pete we've been married 14 years she never called me Pete why am I trying to figure this out when I could be listening to my tapes in a car bye s
hall [Music] we [Music] well it's a shame that you have to die Lois but look on the bright side you'll be a story on the 6:00 news you know unless a local cat does something funny Diane please please don't do this I won't tell anybody I swear to God that's right you won't goodbye [Music] [Music] Lois hello is anyone there whoever you are thank you if anybody's going to take that [ __ ] down it's going to be [Music] me we now return to Hotel TV the station that makes you feel like you're at a hot
el when you're not at a hotel have a romantic drink by The Concourse fountain or you can watch the big game at Choppers Bar and Grill where they'll be pouring till 2: a.m. or maybe you're in the mood for something a little more exotic try José gato's Brazilian steakhouse with rooftop views plus a fine selection of Blended rum drinks S at the end of the night you won't want to say buan not and you won't have to cuz Choppers is open where they're pouring till 2: a.m. should we go to Choppers we in
terrupt this program to bring you a Channel 5 News special report good evening Cog I'm Tom Tucker tragedy struck Haiti today as the island nation was rocked by a major earthquake leaving thousands dead and injured coming up local newsman shows a camera operator how to center a shot there we go there there's Tom there is the star oh my God that's terrible about Haiti we got to do something to help no we don't relax I'm sure wlif JEA has got it all under control I've always talked about wanting to
help in these situations but I never follow through well this time I'm really going to do it I'm going to start a blood drive good for you Lois you'll be a local hero like Paul Rivier the British will be here soon we shall stand our ground and fight them to the death yes yes although I mean one of us should probably warn everyone you know that the British are coming I mean not me I mean I want to fight I mean oh shoot I've got the horse I mean but if anyone else wants to go I'll go no one all r
ight I'll make sure everyone remembers your [Music] names wow Lois you really got a great turnout for the blood drive oh yeah the whole thing's going off without a hitch except for that mosquito who keeps trying to sneak in Hi I'm the new nurse get out of here here this blood's not for you aw oh look an empty Tire with some water in it all right I'm happy again I'm going to go ahead and thank you for donating blood today donating I thought we were getting paid Peter everyone else here has donate
d except you that's not true that guy over there didn't donate that's still you Peter oh well if I got to donate he's got to donate too you get in here hey a sucker son of a [ __ ] Louis leis mommy Stewie what's going on you should be asleep by now I can't sleep Brian where's the woman I need her to read me a bed time story well she's busy with the blood drive maybe I can help how about I read you this book it's called apathetic George George used to be a curious monkey but after a month in capt
ivity all he did was wait for food the zoo people wanted him to mate but he lost interest in that too 20 years and millions of dollars in zoo Revenue later he died okay I've had enough all right you know what I know something that'll help you sleep wait here well I hope so because I've tried everything counting sheep thinking sleepy thoughts I even hired the Sandman sand and sand and sand and sand and sand and sand and good night okay I'll give you a tiny bit of this it should help you sleep wha
t is it it's cough syrup it's not really for kids but a cap full is pretty harmless H oh so this is what Lil Wayne keeps almost dying from this is so relaxing I could get used to this like the way I got used to wearing European diapers don't mind me I'm just grabbing a little cheese and Veno if anybody needs me I'll be poolside next to my weirdly hot girlfriend with dark [Music] teeth well Lois I'm done giving blood just asked this guy is true Lois I sucked him dry he gave a blood donation as we
ll Peta knock it off just give some blood get your cookie and be done with it cookie yes Peta there are cookies for everyone who donates well I already ate two wedding cakes but I guess I could go for a cookie all right I'll do it Peter you're doing a good thing thanks Lois but you got to promise you'll warn me before they stick that needle in me actually we just finished what that wasn't so bad see Peter and now you can have a cookie oh awesome oh oh my God these are delicious what was you made
these yeah I found one of my grandmother's old recipes so I thought I'd make a special batch for the blood drive well I'm glad you did these cookies are amazing they're even tastier than Connie Britain's hair God your hair is delicious who are you I'm the guy who killed your bodyguard [Music] coming this fall to every Network your favorite sitcom lines preceded by the word uh uh knock [Laughter] much uh that just happened uh so I guess this is a thing now uh yeah no uh Awkward TV that thing you
used to watch oh he are incredible hey you know something if we sold these we could make a ton of money maybe we should open our own cookie store are you serious yeah why not I mean if George Foreman can make electric grills we can do this I mean I've seen that guy get punched in the face a thousand times and now he's making science stuff who'd think that idiot would still be walking around and Muhammad Ali can't even talk anymore you know having our own store could be kind of fun and you'd rea
lly do it with me absolutely oh Peta that actually sounds kind of romantic I always wanted you and me to work on a project together oh let's do it all right now let's turn up the TV real loud so the kids can't hear us having sex sex [Music] sex there's my handsome business partner now we can't be late for our meeting with the bank that's so cool you guys are going to open a business yeah well I got a ton of business experience I mean I had that job creating ads for the North Dakota border of Tou
rism hi do you like South Dakota but don't want to see Mount Rushmore come to North Dakota it's just a very long drive from wherever you live best of all most of the good license plates aren't taken yet imagine coming here and having cool dude or yay Jew or boo Jews depending on where you stand on Jews North Dakota we're not even the best Dakota Stewie what are you doing huh oh Brian oh there you are I've been I've been looking all over the table for you you know I'm going to tell you this stuff
you gave me was a lifesaver last night I was out like a light and you know normally I'm up five or six times to scream and defecate but you know what I slept straight through Stewie I told you there's alcohol in that it's not for kids you're not for kids Stewie you're drunk oh oh Brian's all serious oh I don't I don't drink in the morning because I've got to land a plane right come on I got to drive you to daycare okay okay it's all right calm down calm down uh oh I think I'm I think I put my s
hoes on the wrong feet is it 9:15 already Lois we got to go you know I've got got all the papers for the loan officer but I got to admit I'm a little nervous don't worry we're going to get this loan no problem and if you get nervous just do what I always do picture your audience naked good afternoon Mr and Mrs Griffin yeah get that enormous thing out of my face I'll be your loan officer so why don't you have a seat and tell me about your business our business is cookies now let me ask you a ques
tion you ever heard of money yes good good we're on the same page now sir let me ask you something else can you name one successful company that isn't cookie based Microsoft Peter I'll handle this my husband and I would like to open a cookie store we've done all the research and I'm very confident we can turn a profit I've brought some samples if you'd like to try one she said one take one well these are delicious let me just run this by my supervisor yes Mr and Mrs Griffin this bank would like
to help you start your business really that's fantastic and if you have any other questions you can call me at any time hello how far away are the [Music] stars Brian Brian hold on one second I'll be right with you Mr duckford Brian what let's all I was just thinking let's order a kebab a what a kebab but I but I want it in this order vegetable meat meat vegetable meat and U Mr duckford would like some quackers can I leave now no no BR no you can't Brian I need your help I've made a series of sm
all poops in my bath and I need you to scoop them out with this fishnet yeah I'm not doing that you have to you're my butler not your butler I know but wouldn't it be great if you were it' be I'd be so happy in fact the only thing that would make me happier is would if would be if this tub was filled with yogurt can you can you get me some yogurt is the yogurt shop still open is this is there some place to dial up yogurt stop saying that what's the best skin yogurt who who can prepare me a nice
yogurt treatment if you say it like that one more time I'm going to drown you yogurt uh see you're not you're not going to do anything you hey hey Brian am I a good little guy [Music] this space will be perfect Peter yeah it sure will Lois now all we got to do is name the store oh oh I got it Peter's wife's cookies I love it and I love you really yes you know we did so so building a family but this business I think we can really knock it out of the park oh we sure can Lois we're going to be a gr
eat team like Moses and his buddy who like to collect seashells yay I can't believe it Peter our first day of business all right well we have got work to do so let's roll up our sleeves and get right to it there's a lot to do so we can't be afraid to just roll up our sleeves and get the job done we can't be hands-off managers we got to roll up our sleeves and just dig in Peter your arms are turning purple purple with success that's the color of money you got to do the work of Two Men and pay you
rself for one just roll up those sleeves and address the task at hand whatever it may be not shying away from the dirty work but just rolling up our sleeves and having at it success is not given it is taken it's time to get in the game and get dirty all right I'm going to lunch yes I'd like a chocolate chip cookie Elmer what Mom you promised I could get a cookie if I finished all my surgery did you yeah all of it um get back there I'm going to do it what does it matter when I do [Music] it Lois
Lois lock the door why is that lady who comes in tries a sample and then whispers about how bad she is hey oh my God you have chocolate macadamia nut oh could I just try a little sample I'm so bad uh sure you going to buy a cookie this time oh I better just stick with the sample I'm so bad but at least I know I'm bad so that makes me a little less bad or worse that was the right thing to do [Music] Peter boy it's been really slow I mean if it doesn't pick up soon we're not going to stay in busin
ess very long don't you worry Lois you keep baking I'll drum up some business we just got to think outside the box like the makers of dry as ice cream guys I've said said it before and I'll say it again when people go to the supermarket they need something to look at before they choose [Music] hogendas hey dude can you pass me a spec of Spas sorry bro all out you want a cube of fro no I'm not into fro I got a tear a laser dragon can I handle that I don't know can you gum what the hell is going o
n I don't know what to do you guys the Cookie Shop is tanking if it fails we're screwed my God what does it take to get people to buy a damn cookie Peter let me tell you something I spent $600 a month on scented candles at the farmers market just because there's a hot chick selling them so what are you saying you just bragging about candles it's a weird thing to brag about no I'm saying sex cells trust me you get a few hotties in that Cookie Shop of yours I bet your sales will go up giggity that
was an unearned giggity Quagmire I said up no no now well I'll try anything Quagmire cuz I actually like running that Cookie Shop it's way better than that job I had telemarketing to buttholes hello sorry wrong number hello sorry wrong number and how are you today sir oh my God customers what the hell P what did you do I saved our business and don't worry I only hired women whose names are cookie related Lois meet cookie sugar spice cinnamon brown sugar and butter oh hey butter some guys like b
uy Peter you turned our store into a strip club and I don't like what this place has become you mean hugely profitable we made all that today well it was twice as much but I had a bailout Cinnamon's kid thanks Mr Peter this guy's the best well I guess business is better than ever It's Des Spirit Lois just you watch we'll be a bigger success than Richard Branson Hey where's the business guy in this boardroom it couldn't be that tan long-haired guy with the white linen pants could it it is and now
to my amphibious Sky submarine I have way too much [Music] money come on get get down there you old bag there we go Stewie what are you doing being awesome whoa wait wait you're in no condition to drive I'm fine to drive I'm so fine you I can do all the tests see I can touch my nose I can touch my head shoulders knees and toes knees and toes stop it now you stop it you stop it Brian you're interfering with my professional business where's the radio I God are you okay no I don't feel so good we
should probably exchange numbers okay I'm a 10 you're a [Music] [Applause] four this one's our new chocolate white chocolate and for every dozen we sell we donate 50 cents to Operation Smile yeah nobody's listening to you they're all watching sugar write frosting swears on a j she just wrote vagina on her boobs that doesn't even make any sense she's doing what I told her 10 minutes ago to put another batch of oatmeal in the oven oh that dough is gone Lois I warmed it up and put it behind those w
aste High holes in the wall is it spaghetti a bowl of grapes o this is the best haunted house ever Peta this is disgusting I know we made a few changes but this store should still be about selling cookies well you're never going to sell any looking like that d now you're ready to sell cookies you know what that's it I'm done I don't know why I ever let you talk me into this this whatever this is now it's a strip club that gives away free [Music] cookies oh crap I should have known something was
up when I saw all those cars out front Stewie why don't you come and have a seat with all your friends here we have something to say to you I'll go first Stewie I remember the day you were born I thought to myself here's a kid who's got a white empty canvas stretched out in front of him oh please what who what is this what is this a circle of perfect people who you to judge me m Mr Mr giraffe who lets little little boys grind on his rump Mr octopus who lets little boys grind on his rump everyone
of you has your own problems yeah but you're the only one who almost killed a kid yesterday yeah well that's that's because that that's that kid that's that's that that's that kid I know oh Brian who am I I don't have a cough and my sinuses are remarkably wide open but I have a problem good admitting it is the first step but don't worry I'll get you through it thank you Brian you're welcome Stewie now if you look excuse me I have to go to Chris's room we're doing a masturbation intervention I g
ot a bunch of his friends sitting in a circle in there oh dear God oh hey Lois before you say anything there's something important I want to tell you after you left I ate cookie dough off the stomach of a 20-year-old and then I vomited and all the girls laughed at me and then it came out that they all think I'm fat and old is that it I guess what I'm trying to say is I was wrong to choose sexiness over my wife Peter what are you doing what what was that oh back at the store I uh tucked my boner
into the waistband of my pants and now it's sitting weird that's your apology well that and this oh Peter did did you bake this yeah I love you Lois I really liked having a store with you and I'm I'm sorry I messed it up I was only trying to help I know Peter so you want to split this with me I wouldn't butter helped me with it and she has cyia fish well it was fun having our own store but from now on my cookies are only for these customers oh mom so Mom what are you going to do with the shop we
ll I talked to the bank and they agreed to take it back me love cookie we now return to yet another Indiana Jones movie snakes why did it have to be snakes elderly potheads why did it have to be elderly potheads is everyone warm in here is it warm Brian are you feeling all right yeah I'm fine it just seems kind of oh my god oh Lois you dog threw up Peter Brian's clearly not feeling well you got to take him to the vet unbelievable Brian throws up once and you rush him to the vet I was throwing up
all night last night good start keep it up Snack Pack pea you got to take him now Lo Lois it's probably just something I ate I'm I'm fine really I I got more energy than a cruise ship conga line I'm very sick from Lobster Brian your blood work shows that your liver isn't functioning properly would you happen to be a drinker well I don't know if I'd l myself a drinker I I know I like a cold beer after I mow the lawn there were three lies in that sentence Brian have you ever heard of L Garrick's
disease oh no well you have Mickey Mantle's disease now the most obvious step would simply be to stop drinking or well we do have these pills that may correct the enzyme imbalance in your liver yeah that one okay I'll be in the waiting room barking at the fish in the tank all right Mr Griffin these pills will clear up Brian's condition but unfortunately they only only come in suppository form uh it means they have to be inserted into the patient's anus oh you're a dirty doctor aren't you Mr Grif
fin I'm not joking or a doctor now you'll need to administer these pills because no dog ever voluntarily takes a suppository well one in 10 does oh I know the one Brian's cousin Jasper his bum looks like that guy with a 100 cigarettes in his mouth hey Chris I noticed you were sitting alone you mind if I join you sure we both have hats makes sense a thanks hey can you check my back for kick me signs oh yeah you got a couple this one says you're a dirty kick that doesn't say kick but thanks I'll k
eep that one for my lawsuit boys I got a new home gym why are you telling us that just letting people know don't want anyone to get freaked out by the transformation I got to say it feels kind of weird having someone join me for lunch well it's only natural Chris you and I are social Exiles we're the Calisi and Jora Mormont of this school sure I'll agree to keep the conversation going well time to break out my terrible Jewish bag lunch let's see smoked white fish herring in cream sauce smoked Sa
ble that's a different kind of white fish and for dessert the only bad cookie in the world hey what's it like buying food from school it's good I know everyone back there so they let me drink the corn water boy it's so great having someone I can talk to I feel the same way Chris I think you and I could get along very nicely yeah we'll be a better team than the Warsaw Globe Trotters dribble dribble dribble talking shirt give to my friend spin on finger two rotations dream about vindo put away bas
ketball go to work in calcium mine all right Brian it's time for you to take one of these pills from the vet oh yeah right can we do what we normally do where you roll it up in a piece of cheese like you're fooling me yeah I guess but then you're going to have cheese in your ass wh what yeah the doctor said I got to give you these pills to butt way oh no no no no no no no no that is not happening no no no I do not go the butt way look I know it sounds a little rough but why don't we start with a
gentle massage of the area and see how you feel Peter get away from my ass Bri no h guess I'm just going to have to take him by surprise shouldn't be too hard after all I used to be a Pete in the [Music] Box gohost the weasel all right if I'm going to give Brian his medicine I should probably watch that old episode of Lassie where Timmy asked to give her a suppository what's that Lassie you feel sick what's wrong girl a saaza what what am I supposed to do with it gosh I well if you're in that m
uch pain I guess okay you were lying you weren't feeling sick I don't understand why did you want me to do this what he was in on it it was just a prank you guys are gross kids everybody family meeting there's too much passing gas in this house so from now on anytime you got to cut one you pull your pants down and you do it through this fat hole are you insane oh it's okay it's all a trick as soon as Brian does it I'm going to be on the other side and and I'll stick the repository in no absolute
ly not I am not living like this you think Morgan Fairchild has a f hole in her house Morgan the koku van is divine but so rich will you excuse me where do our Hollywood farts go I've heard they're filtered into Tom seymore's [Music] house a Morgan [Music] he no no no no Brian no no you win you win I quit it's your liver you do whatever you want well thank you yes it is my liver and I don't want to take that pill fine we're both in agreement so let's just both watch TV and nothing else sounds go
od to me I'm glad you think it sounds good it's nice to watch TV when you have nothing else to do isn't it yeah get over here you idiot Peter what the hell I'm still in charge of you I'm a human away from this is for your benefit so just go limp and take you touch my ass I swear to God I'll kill you what the hell you you bit me you're damn right I did and I'll do it again if you don't stay the hell away from my ass but Brian the vet said wow where did that come from God that was so intense I fee
l more powerful than a lesbian's crotch sorry ma'am we don't valet motorcycles don't need to elois can you pour my juice I can't lift my arm I still can't believe Brian bit you it just doesn't seem like him oh yeah cuz you know him so well shut your face oh uh Hey Brian get out of that chair leave the eggs but this is my [Music] breakfast honey when did Peter Griffin take up jogging I don't know dear by the way we're the couple who lives a few blocks [Music] away we now return to an 80s teen mov
ie at a realistic High School you're going down at that karate tournament I don't think so you guys do karate you're both losers morning sir so Peter I assume if you're watching TV that means you already did all my chores I sure did sure did I scared off the mailman threatened Quagmire's cat and I even took your bath for you now I'm just going to reach for the shampoo no jumping out ah he's got rert drop it drop it drop it all right I need you to buy a birthday present for my friend Jeff he like
s the Packers and surfing enough is enough Peta the dog's not in charge of this house first thing tomorrow I'm taking Brian to obedience school so we can get him back under control you know sending him to school wouldn't be the worst idea he might even enjoy it I know I had a blast in college man I love college so many chicks so many parties yeah totally I'm supposed to meet the ra for coffee later in the common room but until then I'm just going to walk around with my shower caddy and see what
people wrote on their white [Music] boards uh before I touch anything is this a nutree counter I don't know my dad's might have been on there this morning oh hey Meg I saw you stomp that pigeon today with your Barefoot pretty powerful stuff thanks I don't like losing any part of my lunch look I'd love to stay and talk Neil but I have homework and there was no toilet paper in the girl's bathroom well while you fresh it up maybe I could help you get a head start on that homework you do that wow th
at'd be great wait Neil I thought you and I were going to go find unlocked cars and pretend we're driving them sorry Chris booty calls what was that all about well I guess I have to do it by myself boy this light is taking forever please get out I never drive this car my wife died in it listen up maggots you in my house now there are no belly scratches here there are no table scrats what we have here are good dogs no bandana wearing frisbee catching hippie dogs no parking lot hind leg dancing Yo
uTube dogs no crime solving camera mugging Scooby Dooby dogs oh no Scooby-Doo huh oh it seems we got us a comedy dog are you Cathy Griffin cuz I ain't laughing so maybe you are Kathy Griffin or maybe you're that comedy dog with Robert smiggle's hand up your backside well let me tell you something comedy dog you're here for me to poop on all right first of all it seems like you have a lot of opinions about a lot of Comedians and second of all oh that hurts that's right silent and terrible like th
e artist I watch a lot of TV and movies I am your media Savvy worst nightmare now down on all fours like the rest of them that's right we got ways to break your spirit in fact you seem like a prime candidate for the [Music] chair honey did you hear a dog scream yes I did dear our summer cabin is near the obedience school Move Along got to keep the hallway clear this isn't because of my divorce good for him he actually followed through what the hell again thanks for doing my book report Neil and
I didn't even have to change the handwriting cuz you write like a girl you should see me throw listen Meg would you want to go to a movie sometime you know what I'd like that it's a date okay well I'll uh I'll see you later homech just got out I'm gon to go lick all their bows hey Neil oh hey Chris you sure are spending a lot of time with my sister lately you know if I didn't know better I'd think that fisher ghosts and I'd also think you're putting the moves on Meg listen Chris you're my friend
so I have to confess my sitting with you at lunch was part of a carefully laid out plan to get close to your sister what like I know it sounds terrible but but still we've had some good times together we even got sea pen to dress up as my dad go away I never want to talk to you again God I should have known it I feel more betrayed than when I thought that lawyer was going to propose so you did commit the murder uhhuh and you admit it here in front of everyone uhhuh no further questions your hon
or wait no further questions motion to have the last eight years stricken from the record hey Brian you're back come on in in inside are are you sure yeah what what do you think I'm going to make you stay in the yard get in here sir if it takes the rest of my life I will repay you who's this puss oh no no no I'm I'm not a cat I'm I'm a dog I'm your pet and and I'm just happy to be here Brian what did they do to you at that school you're so submissive yes looks like someone's gone at him with a w
hip that that is that is a perfectly valid way of saying that Bravo master master and a surprisingly quick erection for Stewie there you go you look very Dapper sir thanks Brian God I love the new you that obedience school really schooled you in obedience that's why it's called that permission to take fast tiny bites of my own tail sir granted you're wearing a bat TI High what's the occasion no occasion Lois I just want to piss a couple of guys off what the hell are you doing you think you're be
tter than us no way you tied that on your own I'm glad we got here early I like to watch the previews yeah and also the friendly warning about theater shootings don't get shot by a bullet don't get shot by a bullet your about us to be fun you know this is nice it's actually the first time I've been on a date since I got the nickname Gutterball it is nice here hold still make a wish what is You Wish For This [Music] you used me just so you could date my sister oh my God Chris I'm so sorry what ha
ve I done a crap okay dad you got us in now just go Cleveland what are you looking at I'm on edge Saw Halloween too last night Brian go outside keep guard for Michael Myers if it's seemed like he did he ain't dead boy Peter seems like that obedience school did wonders for Brian oh yeah it's great he'll do anything I tell him to now maybe I should send [Laughter] [Music] Bonnie oh my all right somebody say something else no you need to know what you [Music] did hey Brian you know you know we shou
ld do let you and me go pee in Meg's bed that's that's always fun pee in her bed I I I I I could never do that that that'd be peeing in the house and that's that's bad dog stuff that that that's not good dog stuff wait what what are you talking about forgive me for speaking out of turns sir but you sent me to that school to change me it was your turn wasn't it first I went then you went we best get you to bed sir oh come on Brian it's still early let's just let's go throw potatoes at Cleveland's
house you go ahead I've got to go make the waffle fries that you scream requested in the car shees what the hell happened to him we used to be so close but now we seem so different like a whale and his developmentally disabled brother hi guys get in my mouth you hundreds of fish [Music] that sounds pretty good to me traffic on 146 has backed up all the way to Mineral what do you want Neil and why are you playing the news oh it's an old boom box I don't own any cassette so I just have to play wh
atever's on the radio shouldn't you be out with Meg look Chris I'm sorry I lied to you but I'd still like to be friends and I hope I'm sorry I have to put the boom box down the D batteries make it very heavy NE there you are what the hell is your problem I finally give you a shot and you abandoned me in a movie [Music] theater I'm sorry Meg but my friendship with Chris is more important you're a jerk Neil so what do you say Chris can we hang out again yeah I'd like that Neil great see you tomorr
ow [Music] this is cuz I'm drunk move out Irish trash hey Lois you noticed ever since Brian came back from obedience school that things have been weird what do you mean why he just lets me order him around and he never wants to do fun stuff together like before I mean the thing I always loved about Brian was it he wasn't just a pet he was a friend and I missed that friend I think we just have to accept that this is how he is now don't forget he bits you Peter I mean what if he bits Stewie how ab
out you bite me [ __ ] wait a minute you're right he bit me I know what I got to do I'm sorry was that too harsh it sounded more playful in my head [Music] I'm sorry Brian but I'm doing this in the name of [Music] friendship ah damn it what the hell Peter oh my God oh my God I bit you I'm I'm so sorry sir no no no it's okay it's okay don't you see Brian that's the appropriate response if anyone gets near Uranus look we were wrong to try to change you I I just want to ow you back you do but but I
was a bad dog I know but that's what I liked about you you know you were fun we got into trouble together we could uhoh uhoh I just rubbed my eye with his finger am I going to be okay am I going to be okay wait how do you get pink eye oh God this has got to be it Peter I want things back the way they were too that's what I want look I'm really sorry I bit you I forget all that I'm just happy to have my best friend back I missed you Brian I missed you too Peter welcome back [Music] buddy and now
I'm going to go upstairs and pee in Meg's bed no we're gonna go pee in Meg's bed good boy hey what's up fore fore for Fore foree fore for foreign spee foreign foree foreign for foreign spe spee speech foreign me sec fore for foreign speech so me for design likee foreign spee spe
Comments
To whoever watches these all the way through and doesn’t fall asleep to them, respect.
Family guy at 1 in the morning always slaps
the song was really good peter sang
last 7 mins are always my fav
Peter who’s there? Is Meg dead ☠️ 😂
hope your all okay and gets well soon
rest in peace
Ahhh here we gather again. Goodnight 🌙
Sleep well 💤
😂😂
claim no negative energy from this
4:10:32
3:53:29
Hhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeee
good night guys