[Music] [Music] okay I'm putting in a load of laundry so everybody smell yourself are your pajamas okay or are they funky mine are okay mine are better than Tina's mine kind of smell like soup so I'm good okay then I'm going to do it you know the drill nothing else on but the TV right wait is the tree off Bob I'm starting the wash no toaster no microwave okay what did he say yep Len Linda did you say you're starting a wash I hope not cuz I'm making toast I couldn't hear you are you in the kitche
n no I'm in the bathroom but I'm making toast you're making it go good for you I'm proud of you that's not good oh crap no no off TV bad the whole sub panel's fried this wiring is a disaster none of this is up to code you're lucky just the panel blue your whole house could have been a Christmas roast a not in a good way ah well uh as the landlord here I should tell you that this all feels very judgy what's code really just a way to be judgy who did this work well this was a collaboration over th
e years with involving many different talents who can say who did what is this dried blood yeah it's ketchup our our handyman does repairs down here and says he works better when he's eating he doesn't oh I can fix it but you won't have power for 3 or 4 days what but Christmas is in 2 days I know and I'm excited to be here we can't have no power for Christmas your landlord should put you up somewhere what me why is it always the landlord's problem h fine let's go and let him do his precious up t
o code work should the sign just say electricity's out see you when we see you that that that sounds wrong well you're in luck I can put you up at the lodge the lodge yes my family's old hunting lodge we know use it much it's a bit Hunty lodgy my father bought it when we were kids so he'd have a place to do his falconry Falcon Crest falconry it's it's a it's it's a kind of hunting with trained Falcons he wasn't any good at it and they usually flew away but we just kept buying him more Falcons he
was nice actually because he was hard to shop for excuse us a sec are we going to spend Christmas in Mr fish's Lodge not be in our house for Christmas sounds sad and terrible I know but power is good why did Mr fisha have to call a real electrician Teddy could have gotten us through Christmas Teddy did this don't blame him just cuz doesn't know what he's doing can we bring our Christmas stuff in the tree make it feel more like home sure wait the tree how we we already decorated it I need the tr
ee Bob okay okay I need it I got it well you seem very excited and I was thinking of not standing here anymore so can I call the caretaker and tell him not to drive up to the lodge tonight the caretaker yes old Mr McCormick you'd be doing me a favor really if you'd spend a few nights there I wouldn't have to pay that crank to lick the pipes or whatever it is he does to keep the heat and water running lick the pipes I don't know it's an old house but we we pay old crotchety McCormick to go up the
re and if you good folks go up you can lick the pipes and I could save the $5 look at the tree poor thing is there any way we can play at some music or a podcast or something I don't think so okay never mind got the cooking stuff we got the stockings oh I forgot the deodorant H that's okay maybe Santa will bring some yeah wait oh crap how will Santa know that we're going to a different house is there paperwork we had to fill out or something he knows honey they track our phones I think that soun
ds right yeah okay uh so do we know that for sure do we know that for sure Louise it'll be fine we have to go I want to try and make it up the mountain before dark okay everyone say bye house bye house house you too restaurant that was close we almost had to go back oh God not sure the tires can handle this they're they're pretty bald look who's talking yeah aren't we supposed to have chains or something like cool chains that connect to our wallet oh God oh God oh God this is like a nightmare I
know I I'm very scared but I'm being brave no dad the Santa thing I had very reasonable stuff on my list and I was exactly a reasonable amount of goods so I was expecting to run the table this year I was going to get the whole list the whole list no screaming unless we're tumbling off the cliff please Louise honey calm down we'd all Rather Be Home for Christmas in the place where we've spent every Christmas since you kids were born but we're not and that's fine it's fine guys there's no way Sant
a's going to be able to find us do your phones even work up here pretty sure Santa's got um SAR H I'm up on LinkedIn oh I don't like that we going to make it or is this the end could go either way Dad you said you wanted to get there before for dark yep but it's dark so we really got to hurry dad's Voice keeps getting higher kids no talking to your father close your eyes try to rest and if you end up upside down in a ravine go ahead and eat your father and me I call Mom's legs w w w thank God we
made it I did that I did it good driving Bobby pretty much all right everyone grab something to bring it into Mr Fish out's old dark not too scary Mountain mansion it's kind of cool looking and we're alive I'm still just so happy about that once you turn on some lights and start a fire and bring in the decorations I bet it'll be really nice yeah I've had a box of ornaments on my lap for 90 miles they'd better earn their keep you're right kids we'll Christmas the hell out of this place but uh le
t's do all the decorating stuff tomorrow right oh yeah tonight I'm only unpacking the rudol the red wine reindeer glasses and pouring us a glass of oh my God what where's the tree oh my God where's the tree oh my God oh my God the tree must have fallen off on the drive up here oh I knew we should have put the tree on my lap somehow or at least that thing where you hold on to it with one arm out the window like Dad did with my old mattress before it blew off we should have had a professional come
tie it on like a surgeon a tree surgeon or something instead of us Burger people we did our best that doesn't sound like us it was the road that bumpy snowy evil Road okay okay so it fell off we'll just drive back down and get it oh no no no yes Bob the tree Linda it's a miracle that we're here we shouldn't have driven on that road in this car with these tires and it's snowing every moment the road is getting worse we we can't drive back to town oh Bobby I can't stand thinking about our tree ou
tside in the cold all alone it's fine that's how a tree spends its entire life well that's just awful I know awful yeah come on let let's go inside I I'll uh I'll put this down in a feel for a light switch well your father's gone he's never coming back I'd take out my phone if I had one and use it as a light but you know Tina not now you won't let me get a phone bad Falcon this is kind of nice looks like they updated the kitchen at some point a guy could maybe cook a Christmas meal in here guy F
ier chimney okay check that's one thing going for as Santa wise and we can have all our shareholder meetings at this totally normalized table so that's good um that's terrifying it's uh very falcony why is it so big oh God I'll have to look at it while I'm cooking too I bet we all get used to it and then we won't even notice it anymore maybe yeah like dad's dead tooth or it's dead toenail they're not dead they're just struggling well should we figure out where they put the beds in this winter wo
nderland I call the room with the fewest dead animals what the heck is that there's a little plaque it says indoor finic by the argyle elevator and mechanical amusements company I love their first album but then Stevie Nicks left the band should we ride it let's see if we can figure out how to work it oh top or bottom that's the Eternal question okay ready here here we go everyone hold on to something so you don't fall when it takes off are we moving no it hasn't started yet oh wait has it shoul
d we just get out and take the stairs gross I call top bunk oh no one else is sleeping in here yeah I'm in the Elmer fud Suite FYI might have scary dreams tonight no reason is everyone else's bed the size of our kitchen what no these beds are small did you say yours as big uh no good night why would anyone put that painting in a dining room it' look ridiculous in the bathroom you know what should go right there the tree good look out the window if it wants and think about what it's done God ther
e's weird stuff on Mr fish's caretaker list beat the rugs with the drapes while the curtains watch get mail from mailbox burn mail brush teeth on barehead never break eye contact H dad stop talking about the list the only list that matters is Santa Here's a thought what if he finds you by the smell of the cookies oh my God the cookies yeah I know I'm SM I forgot the flower for the cookies what so no tree and no cookies we need to pull this together people maybe Mr Fish oder has flower I hope so
but I'm worried that if it is there it might be very old or cocaine also Louise I I think I can still make cookies for Santa without flour do you think Santa's glutenfree dad do you think Santa's gluten-free dad um do you I think Santa's mostly gluten no flour no cocaine but how about rum this is a disaster look we can at least solve the tree problem we're surrounded by Christmas trees let's just chop one down a different tree a stranger tree that we just met in the forest somewhere I I guess we
could do that but our tree that we brought at home that knows us and loves us mom a tree in the hand is better than one in a ditch oh my God poor Tree in a ditch H okay fine fine we can go look well the good news is that axx seems pretty heavy so there's no way Dad has the upper body strength to go full shining on us yeah half shining at most no offense Dad I think I could shining all of you if I had to although I'm tired because I didn't get enough sleep last night on that little bed oh yeah t
hose beds are so tiny how about this one or this one's nice okay how about this guy HH it's just none of these trees have what our tree has that effortless charm and wish that perfect bushiness but without being cocky about it it was a little cocky okay fine do it that one so I guess I just start chopping at the trunky part no technical terms dumb it down for us all right maybe like uh wait do trees die when you cut them down yeah Tina [Music] right forget it forget it stop stop stop oh thank Go
d Bob I want to go down and look for our tree the sun is out the road is clear and we need flour you stay with the kids I'll just ZIP down to that little market at the bottom of the mountain and be back quicker than you can lick a pipe oh right we haven't licked the pipes yet this is a good plan but Lynn we don't even know where it fell off sure we do somewhere between here and the bottom of the mountain she's hot on its Trail even if you find the tree how how will you get it in the car I'll use
my superhuman Christmas magic mom strength yeah or she'll just close the door on it and drag it alongside the car like she does with her purse sometimes and her skirts and if that doesn't work I'll come get you and we'll both do it I'm going to save Christmas oh wait I don't have my keys or my wallet and I better go inside and pee first let's all go in but maybe Mr axe stays outside oh yeah Mr axe is going to go back in the shed with his friend Mr machete and I think I saw a hand grenade so nob
ody to go in there don't worry tree I'm coming for you dang it I wish I gave you a flare gun okay got to stay positive can't give up Christmas miracle time here we go I'm going to find you oh crap I'm at the B in the mou Louise you don't seem that into this you're not aiming for my glasses like you usually do yeah I know start just look at that Big Field I guess we're calling anything a field these days you think if we spelled something out with fire since I could see it from a satellite or what
ever come on oh yeah that could work but maybe not fire because it's fire um what about Sticks and Stones no wait our bones at least I got the stupid flower oh tree I give up I'm never going to find you oh my god there you are a tree it's our tree I never gave up on you wa okay don't die don't die don't die I can't wait to tell Bob I found our tree any he thought I couldn't do it I'll only say I told you so like four times maybe five why isn't it ringing oh no boss it's kind of steep but it's sa
fe fries safe fish wao wo W wo okay okay oh boy okay here we go here we go this is better this is better oh and butt's getting pretty wet butt's getting wet hey L how you do that hey Lynn I haven't heard from you uh hope you're okay and uh not uh running out of gas somewhere or being torn apart by anything in the woods no not not that you would get torn apart you're you're strong person I definitely would between the two of us I would be the one to get torn but forget it call me boy this is taki
ng a long time do you think Belle kind of gets the point across as long as he doesn't think it's B Biv devau or Harry bellante or Mr beler oh God okay okay we got to finish it but we're running out of big branches we can use mom and dad's clothes or Jean I am good at lying down oh come on why does dragging a Christmas tree up a Snowy Mountain have to be so hot okay I don't love that oh Sun's gone that is cold that is very cold can you die of cold no right that's only in the movies get up there o
h come on what are you doing I'm trying to make it so I don't have to look at this painting anymore you did it good job thanks I'm just glad it finally oh sorry yep what are you doing we're looking for stuff to spell out a giant message to Santa you don't love the clothes you brought with you right I don't love them but I want to keep them inside like your feelings can't you just use branches since we're in the woods we found some but it's snowy and they're deep down and our tiny hands got cold
so we're actually going to need this thank you no no no I need that I need this I need this fine uh uhoh so you took care of that uh it turns out I'm not good at no Louise no no no put it down what about put it down H do you hate presents ah I'm all right TAA You Beautiful Beast dad are these allow outside any objections Jean come grab these spelling sticks if I wanted to carry skis I would have gone with can to Breen Ridge oh please please let me make it to the C I can't wait to put that heater
on I love that heater so much almost there so tired body giving out Spirit giving out lad holding on mostly hang on tree I'm going to put ornaments all over you oh thank God thank God hey Lynn uh me again please don't be dead that's my one request oh and flower but mostly don't be dead because I don't know how I'd go on without you and also you're better at repping presents than me okay goodbye Dad go to the window look look out the window go go go go to the window Dad okay beler looks good I h
ope you're excited to bring all that back in the house later feels like a caretaker's responsibility so okay I'm going to take a walk mostly to uh you know get some air enjoy nature but also to see if your mom crashed the car and is freezing to death somewhere oh oh she has been gone a while I just assumed she and the tree ran off together and she'd sent for the children once they're settled honestly guys it's a long shot mom would be able to find the tree I'm sorry but I I'm going to see if I c
an find her but Mom is in a car you are on your little fence very slow legs well I I need to do something your your mom might be stuck is this partly to get away from the painting no a little I really don't like it it'll be okay I'll be back soon with your mom who's fine and the car both in one piece hopefully totally alive both of them uh well not the it's [Music] fine wow okay okay we got a problem I don't know how to tell you this I'm not going to be able to bring you up tree I could tell you
that I'm going to go get Bob and r and we'll be back for you but here's the thing I don't think that's a good idea I love you tree but if I come back with Bob and we both die the kids will be all alone and I don't think they'll put themselves to bed at a reasonable hour you know and I'm kind of missing Christmas Eve over here I know I picked you out of all the other trees and you were the one you really were but I got to leave you here my sweet baby Mama's got to go here I know you like ornamen
ts there you look beautiful okay okay I got to go now no no you can't come you can't come sorry sorry I'm sorry get off get off I'm sorry you look [Music] [Applause] beautiful is that Linda Bob Bob Linda what are you doing out here I'm looking for you I left you a bunch of messages I didn't have any pause were you looking for the tree this whole time I found it you did yeah we uh we got ourselves into a little situation oh yeah yeah you have a a stick in your hair and snow in my pants and in my
underwear everything's nomed down there I'm not peeing am I I don't think so but but where where's the tree uh the tree didn't make it pop oh yeah yeah she's gone she's gone oh I'm sorry Lyn yeah did you get the flower yeah yes I got the flower jeez have some respect for the dead huh look who got flow mom my genie beanie a my teeny Tina and my squeezy louisy dad's back too good to see you man I should have been here spending the day with my babies and I couldn't bring home our Christmas tree I'm
really sorry that's okay we made one oh it's the best Christmas tree ever yeah cuz where's SI going to put the presents right I mean we assumed you were going to get the tree but just in case Tina said we should make a backup what I love it MW MW MW sorry I've been such a crumb bum about coming here I just want to be wherever you guys are Christmas so you dug down in the snow and found more branches God no we borrowed some from the Santa signal and then we just filled in with some perfectly oka
y things from the house that you said we're fine to take oh you use the towels all of them we weren't going to bathe right why start now and we made dad something too you covered it we used wrapping paper and the cheap tape mom buy so we may have to restick it a few times that looks so much better it's like they're excited about opening that present which is probably a dead bunny okay I'm going to go dig the snow out of my butt and then let's bake some cookies I bet Mrs Claus says the same thing
every year all right the balls in your court Santa the full L gluten ho ho ho there's no disputing I love [Music] gluten gluten ho ho ho you darn Jen I love gluten ho ho you got zelc well I got your back but if I have That Snack Attack give me that gluten ho ho ho there's no disputing I love gluten ho ho ho merry Christmas everybody where's my cookies I earned [Music] them [Music] Niagara ketchup I don't get it oh like Niagara Falls but with ketchup no oh yes kids stop you love niagar ketchup a
dmit it you want to get in a barrel and be part of it no Dad are you still mad about the zester yes of course I'm mad you zested gum off Jean's shoe yeah it's called being a good sister but now it's ruined you can never unest this can't we get another zester not like this one it was perfect I had more zest for the zester than I do for life it was simply the zest too soon yeah hey Mike you got some bills and this one feels really weird if you squeeze it oh my God a letter from the community garde
n please let it say I'm accepted open it open it open it open it Dear Mr beler we regret to inform you damn it a oh they sent a packet of seeds consolation seeds I've been there why would they send those I don't know Tina I guess to remind me of the beautiful place that exists that I'll never get to be a part of like the boy's locker room or New York in the '90s cheer up Bobby we get your a little planet box to hang from the window it's not the same Lynn it's not just about growing a few things
it's about working the land growing produce for the restaurant we had a yard I'd do it there but we don't get off your high horse why don't you grow some alley pumpkins I want land I'm a gardener trapped in the body of an urban restaurant tour I have ground beef under my fingernails but it should be ground beef and dirt Mike I know you're just a mailman but I can't help thinking you did this sure blame me for this but you never thank me for the letters I don't deliver thank you bye-bye there mus
t be something I can do to get in you know what I'm going to walk down there and talk to the Garden Master oh Cynthia good luck with that piece of work whoa whoa who Cynthia as in Logan's mom as in Logan my Archen enemy yeah tell her to tell Logan he's a and his head looks like and his face sounds like he'll know what it means I uh I probably won't do that Louise do you want me to write it down then um yeah go ahead you know do what you got to do Bobby if you have to sleep with her to get in it'
s okay I don't like her but whatever it takes way ahead of you Lyn it's so perfect can I help you oh hi Cynthia so um it's been a while since we were all in my restaurant with those dir cut off my son's ears weird day but we don't we don't have to reminisce about that wait does that have anything to do with me not getting accepted to the Garden oh of course not bygones well my application was rejected again and I was wondering if maybe I filled it out wrong I did make a few jokes like where it a
sked what are your hobbies Ira beats me get it spelled b e e t Logan it was an accident God it's hot he probably likes it sorry Bob he's not we're working on it no no he's a he's a great kid no he's not but he will be I'm trying to get him into this college prep summer program but he doesn't have enough extracurricular activities like uh volunteering volunteering everyone's doing that you can't throw a rock without hitting a kid volunteering at a hospice oh I hate those kids who volunteer at hos
pices the newest thing is crappy jobs that build character you want to stand out you write an essay about that oh what qualifies as a crappy job I don't know like sweeping stuff or mopping something just some deadend job in a horrible place I know a deadend job in a horrible Place say hello to the newest member of the community garden hello all right congrats dad you did it you old son of a [ __ ] and say hello to our newest employee Logan no dad uh-huh uh-uh uh-uh uh-uh uhhuh uh see you two alr
eady enjoying working together okay you got me it's a joke you'd never really Hire Logan it's just temporary Louise Logan's mom was nice enough to find me app plot at the community garden because because he gave me this crappy job it's not crappy don't don't say that but if your mom asks it's it's crappy wait you're paying this butt braid my butt does have brains they're called turds and they're smarter than you no it's an unpaid internship finally we're getting a little more sausage at this par
ty yes Jane this is a terrible idea dad you've taken the only good thing about this restaurant it's lack of Logan and you added Logan that is not appropriate for the workplace you are not appropriate for the workplace you're not appropriate for your face I bet when you reconnect in your 30s you guys will get married Bob if they're going to just fight the whole time he's not going to be much help just let them get it out of their system it's almost like they're playing I'm okay with him I can pic
k his brain about mid teen boys find out what tickles their pits that's a great attitude Tina Louise can I see you in the kitchen real fast Louise I really really want this Garden plus it will be good for all of us we're going to grow fresh produce for the restaurant doesn't that sound great dad I'm nine I spit out vegetables and hide them around the house Louise please can you at least try and get along with Logan just for a little while do it for me fine but the first time he even okay I'm off
to the garden is that my sun hat uh yeah can I borrow it I guess but you look like a British lady I know thanks bye oh my dirt my sweet sweet sweet dirt hello Trel you're going to be digging hello shears you're going to be trimming I was so smart to buy you guys 5 years ago everyone said you don't have a garden why are you buying gardening equipment and I said I'll grow into it right uh sorry I I didn't see I thought I was alone okay Logan fellow employee this is the spot I've chosen for you to
stand in for the rest of the day it's out of the way we won't have to smell or hear you and when it's time to punch out there's the door oh you're going to smell me smell it take in the aroma high five wow that was hard I never knew high fiveing was so violent and satisfying my hand is a man now your hand is a bro it is let's bro again oh oh yeah Jean what everyone getting along out there you know it Linda I'm in the mile high five Club sounds great maybe I wasn't clear Logan you stand in your
spot face the wall silently till it's time to go home and everything will be fine the way I see it as long as your dad wants his garden I can do whatever I feel like what yeah maybe I'll go back to this oh somebody order a cup of cheese cuz that's what it smells like come on Logan let's go in the back and I'll show you how to wash the dishes we can dish about the washing so uh what do high school boys talk about follow-up question do you talk about it in the shower after you do Sports additional
follow-up question how hot is the water does it produce steam I'm asking for a friend yeah that's classified top secret guy stuff so right right right right and towels how small are they like washcloth size uh smaller I'll start folding this you say when huh huhuh huh I can't even fold it more hey Mom how you doing good so are we really sure this Logan thing is worth it I mean that's a family member but he's ranked like fourth or fifth Louise it's not that bad plus your father needs this and yo
u owe him one you Zesta is Zesta let him have the garden sometimes you just got to be around people you don't like oh look at this place oh God it's her oh it's even more depressing than I remembered how dare she oh hi Linda I'm just here to help Logan with his essay don't mind me oh I won't Cynthia what were you saying mother something about people you don't like just pretend like I'm not here oh but could I just get a chamomile tea I'm sorry we don't have that oh okay well then just bring me s
ome hot water and a lemon and some chamomile tea oh right you don't have that that's just so weird anyway hot water and lemon would be great fine e sticky Logan Logan what I'm starting your essay we're going to say you wrote come out here and sweep something so I can write about [Music] it well good night good night okay Bob I'm just going to say it I know you love that Garden but now Cynthia is hanging out at the restaurant ordering tea hi if I could just jump in here I don't know if I can take
Logan much longer before I slap that mess yeah how long is this going to last Bob uh probably just until Logan gets into that summer program thing and then we're home free rolling in arugula so just try and ignore Cynthia and Logan start slapping faces got it no no slapping just ignoring fine but just so you know I got this guy and this guy and they're ready to go to work look at you it's only been a few days and you're so big we know and soon you'll be ready to get eaten what nothing I didn't
say anything I forgot I forgot you could understand me you spoke English I'm going to tickle you now huhuh stop stop tomatoes and sweet peas and green beans it's a dream come true I want to take a stupid neck and ring it that's what I want to do to B with him the only thing greener than these plants is my thumb how did we ever get stuck with these bus the resta now a CRA I think I found my happy place I'm like a British lady in my garden and my plants are great he's the most annoying person that
was ever born oh God she brought around tea I'm the world's greatest farmer things are growing so well we living in our own personal hell the restaurant nowra I think I found my happy the restaurant now are crappy crappy crappy crappy [Music] o indyan here huh stop it somebody should close the door huh stop it high school age boys they're a handful handful of this Jean sorry these simple people were doing the best they could with what little they had in their said underperforming restaurant hey
don't read that simple people it's just an expression it's for the essay you know what Cynthia nope do it for Bobby do it for Bobby uh-oh we got a low pressure system moving in from the north and a warm front moving in from the south stay Caine a [ __ ] take shelter you slap sh one word or two you know what you should write about a very violent event involving your computer and a simple lady who snapped kids get them up you're about to clean Cynthia's laptop off the floor oh yeah let's do this
hands time to get Slappy hi everyone how are things going interesting but everything's going great I was just about to proof for Cynthia's Essay with my foot and I was just going to use my hands to make a Logan Face Sandwich okay uh good Cynthia hello Logan Hey so uh you know a few bumps in the road are to be expected this is more than a few bumps Bob this was a bad idea kiss your garden goodbye Logan we're leaving good great bye who whoa wa wait wait where are you going yeah Dad don't let him g
o I'll uh I'll handle this look I'm sure we can figure this out is is there anything I can do to fix this I I will do anything to make this work I love your son look at dad he's really laying into them maybe I should go out there and hold them back nah I don't think so a big papa bear Bobby looking out for his Cubs you get them I'm just glad this nightmare on Logan Street is over there's got to be something we can do that will make you happy make me happy make your sa happy all right Bob you tol
d him off good job well uh did you hear someone yelling please hammer don't hurt him that was me uh yeah yeah good I thought you were going to keep taking that doofus aside then I saw you out there and damn it if you didn't make me proud okay um a little news to share everyone um after a lot of consideration I've decided to make Logan Employee of the Month what wow he hasn't even been here a week good for him no no no now hear me out Louise you're hurting me ow a bob my K these you're so small b
ut you're so strong him or me Dad it's for the greater good Louise okay I see all right oh thank God I quit damn it I thought the glass would break anyway I quit the glass didn't break high five great Bobby great job so Louise can quit quitting is an option I want to quit it would be fun to quit if I didn't love this drop so gosh darn much nobody's quitting Louise didn't quit she's just going on a sabatical great I'll do that no only one sabatical e jeene and I'm taking mine next this is not a b
ig deal I'm going to go talk to Louise Louise sweetheart sweet PE I know I don't call you that but we maybe we should start calling you that I'll do that sweetp how you doing in there perfect Louise making Logan Employee of the Month doesn't mean anything I know it doesn't because we've never done it before hey I have a great idea what if we make you employee the month next month I mean Tina technically should really be next she works so much harder than you never mind we'll make an exception fo
r you but Tina will be crushed sounds super super great can't wait Dad okay good so good talk right oh the best good first step uh thanks for participating love you cutie pie sorry I'll think of a better one than CutiePie you're my angel dust sorry that's a drug I'm going to go bye Louise when are you coming down mom has a stain on her apron you're missing so much how'd you get this number Mom writes it on my leg every morning in case I get lost oops I better sweet this up keep talking about wha
tever you're talking about it doesn't have to be about your changing bodies but it could be go so are you coming down or what I miss you oh I'll see you soon Jean but you won't see me if Dad won't fire Logan Oh I'm going to make Logan wish dad would have never hired him okay bye oh my God today was supposed to be overcast no it's a beautiful day shorts weather oh no no no no what Bob I I didn't cover my beans you didn't cover your beans it was supposed to be overcast they're going to die I got t
o save the beans go damn it Bob you're freaking nuts go I'll be back in 5 minutes hey Scotty Jacob what's up you liking those fries bro on me my friends I do whatever I want around here cuz I'm employee of the month so ow what the who did that hey damn it just spit ball in here Linda I just need one photo of him with this employee of the month plaque in the restaurant and maybe a few of him taking out the trash yeah why don't I take out the trash instead I'm taking the no you don't Bob and I hav
e a deal deal with this honey oh my face okay we're good you guys are good right thanks Bob we were hot and scared oh I'm sorry guys tell us a joke no I I got to get back please just one all right just one a kid's playing in a sandbox and he finds a welding mask no wait that that's not the end it's more oh okay a kid's playing in a sandbox who's hitting me with spitballs invisible spitball ninja Logan you got something on your face right there can't stop it oh and also right there Louise I know
it's you where are you I'm in your mind Logan there's a lot of room in here I'm going to find you and I'm going to get you and I'm going to my UA employee of the mouth Linda control your daughter ow hey ha good news the green beans are doing all right oh you in that Garden you smell like dirt and fresh air and it makes me sick ow your daughter's got nuts by the way she's in the cross space shooting spitballs at everybody Louise get out of there no not until you fire Logan ow hey Luis you come ou
t of there right now I don't want to do this but you're not going to be the next Employee of the Month you're going to be the last Employee of the Month even after Jean sorry Jean sorry for what I wasn't listening and I'm not going to fire Logan I'm keeping the garden and you're going to deal with it Louise because it's good for all of us and not to bring up the zester again but the zester you owe me and let me tell you something spending time in the garden has helped me realize a few things we
need to go outside more okay why do we go on walks as a whole society people should go out on walks and people should Garden Bob I hate to interrupt you flow great speech though great speech yeah I really got going after a while uh Dad yes we're not going on walks are we I don't know maybe anyway while you were talking to the wall Lise snuck in and took off with your gardening sheo what yeah she looked ready to use them too I want to run what what could it beans oh my God my [Music] garden Lis j
ust stop okay I get it you're mad also I'm getting a cramp oh no better stop and stretch it out Louise you're literally Running With Scissors really big scissors I know it feels great oh good it's closed Louise it's over come on let's go home oh crap oh God how small are you say goodbye to your crappy crops H don't have to you don't know which plot is mine Louise is it the one with the paper plate sign that says Bob's Beauties no no no no no you luig you don't have to do this you didn't have to
hire Logan either luig please those are my babies what these these are your babies yes those are oh yeah why did I say that in front of my actual baby yeah right yeah so maybe this whole garden thing was a little selfish yeah I noticed how the greater good meant doing the thing you like to do you're right you know what do it cut him cut him down what really yeah do it I deserve it I can't watch I can't it's not their fault that's right it's my fault so I'm going to cut you what just kidding I kn
ow look I'm sorry I hired Logan I know how much you don't like him yeah I'm pretty open about that dad plus I mean the restaurant is our place and I like it that way I know you do I mean sort of I had a suspicion but you do hide it pretty well thank you I'm sorry I put my sweet peas before my sweet pee is that nickname thing working at all now no can you forgive me anyway under one condition you're fired what she can't fire me right of course she can't yeah I think she just did Louise is actuall
y our human resources person now and I'm Executive Vice President of new business oh man I've just been busting tables Logan if you need a recommendation here's one put a bag on your face I'll put a bag on your face okay hun I'm going to have security walk you out now no well I hope you enjoyed your last trip to the Garden Bob because it was your last trip I know that's why I dug up all my plants and brought them home and I used your wheel Barrel you're not allowed to use that it already happene
d there's nothing you can do about it and I broke the lock on your gate which I will replace which is what you should do with your eggplant it looks leggy Logan let's go you're all nuts uh-huh so if you want to shoot me your email I can just send you the rest of my boy questions absolutely not absolutely not at what.com bye Cynthia I spilled water on your laptop ah she didn't hear me she'll figure it out looking a little cramped yeah we probably should have just planted one oh God tomatoes and s
weet peas and green beans it's a dream come true I want to take a stupid neck and ring it that's what I want to do to B with him the only thing greener than these plants is my thumb how do ever get stuck with these BS the restaurant C I think I found my happy place I'm like a British lady in my garden and [Music] my Jane breakfast yum sorry I took so long but I think you'll agree it was worth the wait ooh yes why are you wearing your fancy clothes why aren't you wearing yours these are my fancy
clothes H Jean's all dressed up for the schoolwide mock trial he's the big tough prosecutor oh right right I'm a Sharp Dressed silver tongue devil then he's going up against Louise The Savvy defense lawyer it's beler against beler whoop to Doo we win either way it is impressive that our kids got chosen to be the lawyers it really is also totally random yep literally picked out of a hat and we can't forget the most important role of all Tina the juror with great jury great responsibility you look
ed out T I wish I could sit on the jury and zone out while we do a mock trial of Snow White who do you think the evil queen gave Snow White a poison apple yes that's for a jury ever appears to decide but probably it's just so babyish I why can't we do a mock trial of a double homicide or something ooh double homicide Twice As Nice okay everyone judge Conlin is just outside and he's ready to begin he's retired but today he's going to hear our case and guide us through the process I want to be sno
w white uh snow no way BFF Zeke why don't you get us started here ye here ye the court of the honorable Judge Conlin is now in session all right honorable I haven't been called that since 1997 maybe you should call me the somewhat respectable judge Conklin he's funny oo the somewhat wet and messy judge klin I had a little accident just water not pee Oh God this guy's got no filter be seated it's going to be a long day okay here we go we will first hear from the prosecution your honor ladies and
gentlemen of the jury here are the facts the evil queen was jealous of my client the gorgeous but a little son wouldn't kill her Snow White and gave her a poison apple sending her into a sleeping death to sum it up not cool so do your thing and return a verdict of guilty okay Counterpoint she's not guilty thank you Louise yes ma'am if you don't want to participate then you can just write a thousand-word essay on the legal system due tomorrow what am I supposed to do I mean her first name is evil
Louise fine you know any places that make good food Bob um yeah more why I'm hosting my mom's birthday party I need a caterer oh okay so us bobsburgers oh God no jeez Mor yeah what the hell if I was having a funeral I'd get my dead bodies from your place no no no no no don't get me wrong it's not you it's just that my mom's picky if it doesn't have a shrimp on it she won't eat it uh I love your food too sorry to interrupt but I found something in it that I don't love this oh God can we make you
another one yeah I'm not sure I could eat another bird bur I'll take it look we're really sorry about this let us um let us comp your meal no no are you sure yes we insist well in that case thank you have a great day huh this is a brown hair that's weird makes me wonder how much hair I've eaten here over the years probably a whole mullet words where is he so you're a Charming Prince huh yes I am and what kind of charmer goes around kissing dead girls I was trying to revive her with my true love
kiss get off my back how many corpses did you kiss before you found your Snow White Romeo how many one how many four how many I don't know why don't you think shake a help order now are you going somewhere with this counselor no not really I just wanted to upset the witness your honor looks like you did it I did it yeah if there are no further questions it's time for the jury to deliberate all right then I guess I asked for a mistrial it's impossible for my client the evil queen to get a fair t
rial here because everyone knows the story of Snow White huh no one has ever asked for a mistrial so you'll grant me one nope the jury seems impartial and capable and mysterious with a hint of Glamour jury how do you find the defendant the impartial capable mysterious and glamorous jury rules in favor of the prosecution we find the evil queen guilty shocking Sweet Lady Justice no I didn't yes you did I I did not what is going on Mr fr stole my yogurt look this is his trash can gas right I did no
t eat that yogurt it's a crime of passion fruit sounds like you need a lawyer hey let's try try this in student Court we've already got a judge oh I mean we were going to try the Three Little Pigs tomorrow I'm fine taking this to student court let the whole school see that Mr fr is a dirty yogurt Thief I am not a thief I'd be happy to take this to student Court well I'd preside over this case maybe the fairy tale trials are too predictable you think let's see what they can do with the real case
well if everyone's on board I guess we can try this one tomorrow we won't need reenactors so Jimmy Jr Tammy and Jocelyn can join the jury Jimmy junor on the jury Jimmy jury I know who I want to get sequestered with he's my sequest what nothing what happens when you find Fran guilty does this school have the death penalty How about if the jury finds him guilty he has to wear a sign all day that says I'm a disgusting yogurt Thief yes and if he's found innocent then you have to wear a sign all day
that reads I'm a filthy liar mouth perfect Tammy and I I'll make the signs it's going to be so fun J will you please make my sign for me okay thank you so we'll keep Zeke as the bayith genan will be prosecuting and Louise since you were finally making some progress as a Defender you get to defend Mr frond look I don't like you and you don't like me but I guess I'm responsible for your defense yes that's scary but I'm sure you'll do everything in your power no no no I was going to go the other wa
y with it all you got to do is cop a Polie so we can get out of here you'll be home in time to talk to your cats and knit yourself to sleep no no no no no no deal I'm innocent who cares just say you did it buy him a yogurt and we're done here I'm innocent who isn't me all rise for the somewhat respectable judge Conlin I guess I brought that on myself today you the jury will hear the case of Mr Ambrose versus Mr frond one of whom will wear the hilarious sign we discussed yesterday the signs look
really good they're fine they look really good they're just fine I should instruct the jury that until the trial is over you may not discuss the case wa forbidden conversation so how about this case huh why I know we shouldn't we mustn't I I don't I I can't what what are he saying exactly let's begin with the opening statements it's fall back as I can remember Mr Ambrose has been hollering on about Mr fr stealing his yogurt why is he talking like that problem was there wasn't no proof but now we
have more evidence than an alligator with a full Bell next to an tic profish bucket I don't understand what he's saying can I interrupt here the court asked that you use your normal speaking voice I mean personally I really like it but it's confusing in the jury oh boo Mr Ambrose's yogurt container was found in Mr fr's trash can end of story I'm good at law applause applause ladies and gentlemen of the jury maybe he didn't do it huh good night that's it that's all you got oh we also have a righ
t to a speed trial so let's get this going huh hey that guy looks familiar Bob that's Teddy hi Bob no out the window I think that's the guy who found the hair in his burger here yesterday yeah I think it is hey Jimmy did that guy find a hair in his food what don't yell that across the street I'm over here come on that guy was in my place yesterday Jimmy let me guess he found a hair on his last bite and you comped his meal yeah that guy is a scammer what a jerk ly who is watching the restaurant [
__ ] Teddy I can't believe that guy was scamming he seemed nice we were jib jabbing about his job don't say jib jabing wait where does he work I he like a celebrity and personer like you rent him for parties he gave me a free Taste of his Pacino it was eye opening well maybe we can track him down oh you want to get back at him huh yeah shave his head cook his hair and feed it to him M no replace all the shoes of his house with shoes one size smaller we am the guy Teddy is there anyone in the re
staurant more oh NOP there he is something's burning that's where you ate the yogurt but it wasn't your Girt was it no aha you admit you ate it no I'm saying it wasn't my Girt and I didn't eat it yes you did no further questions gotcha so you walked from here to there when exactly did you eat the yogurt I didn't eat the yogurt I'm satisfied H Louise I hate to be that guy but you have an obligation to provide this man with a defense working with what I got your honor let's get this party started
I called to the stand Miss SBO hey Jimmy junor do you think he's going to leave this witness or what stop it Tina you're going to get us in trouble guilty is charged so miss SBO you are a receptionist I'm the school receptionist yes and a person in your position must see in here a lot of things sitting at the front desk watching the RAC of mankind go by yes but I'm very discreet what do you know about mr's Ambrose and frond where to begin Mr frond gets a call from his mother at least once a day
well there's a surprise and Mr Ambrose uses the computer room after hours to work on a sequel to Mrs doubt fire Mrs D water it's a prequel you ass okay everyone okay I think it's best we just keep this focused on the yogurt case for now miss SBO do you have any Girt related gossip any hot Girt G well Mr Ambrose is always leaving his yogurt spoons lying around wait what do you mean he leaves them lying around these yogurts have a plastic spoon in the lid for the yogurt eater on the go yeah or a y
ogurt thief on the go like Mr frond look at the yogurt container the spoon is still in the lid how did I eat it h probably with your tongue like a dirty frog impossible I have a tiny tongue he put that away so this is the internet whoa whoa whoo scroll back up there he is bingo we got you buddy Austin Powers Mario or Luigi hey bored let's get that one this isn't supposed to be fun Teddy not cuz we're getting revenge we're going to do to him what he did to us make him work and then not pay oh he'
s available tomorrow wait what are we just going to book him I mean he'd recognize us he isn't going to recognize my mother which is why we're going to book him for her birthday party so Mort are you sure this won't ruin her party are you kidding this is her kind of thing she loves Revenge Revenge and shrimp look it's no use that spoon thing went nowhere so time to cop a plea okay but I didn't do it falsely accused huh I've been there all the time by you all the time really well well some of the
times yeah really Mr frond well if I ever did falsely accuse you of anything I'm sorry cuz this feels really horrible well just save the drama for the phone call from your mom okay we're going to go for the plea deal okay come on it's our only chance to wait what if you're not going to defend me we should just get this over with okay great your honor my client um mhm my client would like to yes sorry just a moment so you're really innocent yes but really really innocent yes that's what I've bee
n telling you yes crap all right your honor my client would like to say that he's innocent and we're going to keep fighting to prove it as long as it takes I thought you wanted to get this over with yeah I did but everyone deserves a fair trial even a broken down chewed up spit out guidance counselor like Mr frond that's the nicest thing you've ever said about me objection gross so how's the jewelry going Tina we're not supposed to talk about it but it's all Jimmy Junior and I can do it's intens
e we should have had this thing wrapped up today but I guess Louise wants to lose tomorrow oh I won't be losing Jean I just needed another day to figure out how to prove Mr fond is innocent what don't you want to see him fry I mean I do I did I really did but no I'm pretty sure he didn't do it pretty sure he doesn't win trials TOS sounds like this trial is going to drag on forever darn it Shucks look I wish I had someone like me when I was falsely accused I mean today me not yesterday me yesterd
ay me was phoning at it a my baby's having a crisis of conscience you're doing something nice for Mr fr a gross I am not you like them no I don't you like them you know I'm going to bed to think I have to think I'm going to think in bed you think about how you like them no I don't today the defense will prove that Mr frond did not steal the yogurt and what's more I will show you who did steal the yogurt soon as I figure out who that is oh please we all know Mr frond did it the yogurt was in his
trash can and no one likes him I mean right objection to the first part that's hearsay I think it's all hearsay you hear it then you say it you hear it oh that is good I will allow it of course you'll allow it what won't you allow that kind of talk in my courtroom Missy but in this case I'll allow it wow this judge sure is permissive oh God your honor shetina won't stop talking to me about the case and we're not supposed to do that right well technically you're right but you're coming off a litt
le whiny great you're back where were we uh anyway look at the map Mr fr's office is between the teachers's lounge and the cafeteria it would have been easy for someone to eat that yogurt as they walk down the hall finish it and throw it in Mr Fran's trash can so the question is who would have been in the Teachers Lounge after school when teachers are rushing out to their second jobs who would have gone from there to the cafeteria oh I don't know wait yes I do oh my God he's right there yes Mr f
r was in a teacher Lounge on Monday afternoon but Witnesses placed two other people there on that same afternoon I call back to the stand Miss zbo so miss zbo you were in the Teachers Lounge just minutes before the yogurt went missing correct yes I go there after school and pretend I'm a teacher I use Miss Jacobson's smuk what I mean I don't pretend anything and I use a paper cup and I didn't take the yogurt and why should we believe you I'm lactose intolerant you are big time get me a gallon of
milk and I'll prove it I will allow it no no we're good thanks for letting us crash your birthday party to get revenge on a dirty food scammer you only turn 86 once oh God is that him get in the closet are just me and Linda or everybody all of us Teddy mom we'll be in the closet you let he let him in and enjoy the show the defense calls to the stand Mr brona Mr brona please tell the court what you were doing in the Teachers Lounge after school Monday same thing I do in there every day empty the
trash pretend to vacuum you know brunka stuff that carpet probably hides dirt yeah I just make this sound you is someone vacuuming so what did you do next well I walked up the hallway I mopped up something vomiti then what then what brona picked up some odds and inss a broken scrunchie a few retainers a spoon what did you just say a spoon yes am I saying that right spoon let me get this straight you're confessing that you found a spoon Monday after school where did you find it brona in your mou
th I find spoons all over the place someone tried to flush a spoon down the toilet three times last here my bad you want me out there finding your spoons you need me out there finding your spoons I mean who leaves us spoon on a drinking fountain wait where did you find the spoon on the drinking fountain thank you I believe you didn't do it oh s God but I know who did I have one last question for you Mr brona the drinking Fon you found the spoon on how would you describe it the squirty one the sq
uirty one okay ladies and gentlemen we all started this trial thinking Mr frond was gross and terrible and we still think that he's many things annoying desperate but it's also something else innocent Mr fr didn't eat Mr Ambrose's yogurt judge Conlin did what oh my God oh my goodness what order order that is a very serious accusation Louise yeah don't you accuse my judge don't you do it present your argument you know I got suspicious when you mentioned the carpet in the teacher Lounge probably h
ides dirt it made it sound like you'd been in the teacher's lounge but it was something else you said when you first walked in on Monday you said you had an accident and it was water not pee it was Pee no Zeke it was water oh I say judge Conlin went into the teacher's lounge and helped himself to the yogurt ate it as he walked down the hall threw away the container in Mr F's trash can then went to the drinking fountain to wash it down leaving the spoon on top the squirty Fountain did what it doe
s best squirted him hence the wet sleeve wow you are 100% correct I looked up to you but I don't don't know is why why did you eat a yogurt that did not belong to you yeah why it was an honest mistake usually at these School Mark trials they have some sort of refreshment I thought the yogurt was your attempt at that I didn't know about this new spoon in the lid technology so I just used one of those oldfashioned metal spoons and I accidentally left it on the fountain but why didn't you just admi
t you did it yesterday why make us go through all of this I thought I saw potential in this young defense attorney when this case fell in our lap it seemed like a good challenge so this whole time you were teaching us and I have to say I am impressed I like the way you think you dug deep to find the truth and saved an innocent man even though you two clearly have issues we do we do anyway Mr Ambrose how much was that yogurt $259 plus tax I'll give you three and we'll call it Square Court is adjo
urned I guess I better put this on I have a date later it'll be a great Icebreaker bye everyone hope you all become lawyers kids please don't tell your parents how we've spent the last two days my wife I think he's about to wrap it up you like is nice oh this has to be the finale let's go let's go let's go up up get get the door hi there remember us you said you found a hair in my baloney cazon and in a burger at Bob's Burgers hi I'm Teddy oh yeah what's going on well we're really unsatisfied wi
th your performance today it's almost like we found a hair in you a Borat yeah we're going to need this compt all right I see what you're doing here yeah Checkmate ha you are actually prepaid for the show when you put your credit card in on the website no cancellations or refunds 1 hour prior to Performance uh what I didn't I I didn't uh I didn't know that uh way to go Bob Shez so I guess this isn't Checkmate more like check the user agreement I've never seen a May of this naked be this smug tha
nks for everything and see you guys around not so fast finish your performance what you heard him we p for it we want it all we do I saw it up personally fine I like you do you like me hey he is actually really good Louise I've been a lawyer for three long sweltering days and I know when I've been bested because you lost the case yes that's when I knew I'm just glad the jury came through and we were able to serve up a hot sice of Justice I mean we didn't but we would have if we'd been able to de
liberate or do anything Louise I want to say thank you honestly I was terrified the whole time but you did the right thing and helped me I know it was very big of me right if you'll excuse me now that I'm a free man I have a reservation for one at the supermarket salad bar H so sad yep but thank you again I'm proud of you well it's how I feel so there you go sorry I didn't believe you in the first place what nothing hey hey y get it hey you get it hey you get you get it you get it you get it hey
y get hey y get hey y get get get hey hey hey [Music] I want some burgers and fries I want some burgers and fries well there's some right here you tell me no lies I can't tell if they're helping or hurting us out there but I think hurting got me in here you're every day Teddy true but today it's cuz of them I think they sound good it's better than this stupid whole music oh hi Dr raldi no no I love your whole music listen doc the rash is still there I did everything you said no shaving no deodo
rant yeah but now it's in both armpits it's red and Flaky itchy bumpy sometimes it's Oozy I look like chff Goldblum in the fly Lyn please stop describing you rash I'm on the phone with the doct Bob I know everyone knows sorry folks it's not it's not not a big deal it's not I mean it doesn't get in the food no no no where you going you want some burgers and fries talking to you buddy hey thumbs up yeah I got a thumbs up that's better than a customer cool song Jean yeah you guys sound good I'm dig
ging it you happen to be in the presence of child straw prodigies we're pretty straw some that's awesome but with straws straw we borrow from a lot of genres maybe you guys can use a little wind who you just walk around with that thing we were at Orchestra practice and hey why make it difficult when you can make it simple are we puning or are we [Laughter] jamming oh oh ah [Applause] oo guys you know what this is right Tuesday oh my God it's trash day no we're a band finally it's happening wait
we weren't a band before well before we had the Raz but we needed the mataz so what do you say all right but I don't carry my own equipment yeah that's the spirit okay thanks Doc boy can that lady talk about rashes what did she say the rash she probably go away on its own but I got to wear a tank top to let it breathe it's festering under there I guess look at it can you see it Lynn please it's like my grandma used to say starve a fever feed a cold and airod a festering ration at tank to well K
outside only with the loud noise remember Dad this is the noise of a band aw you guys are a band that's fun what's your band name name we're called the itty bitty Diddy committee cuz we have little diddies oh now I get it all right everyone this is the first official band practice SLB lunch for the itty bitty Diddy committee y oh we were supposed to bring slash lunch I didn't get the slash memo Peter I think you'll like the changes I made to your recorder oh I electrified it give her a [Music] t
oot cool let's whale Burgers and Fries Burgers and Fries all right so we got that song is it really a song though if you just say words over and over hm good point I guess most songs are sung but here's the thing when I sing people don't seem to really how do I put it oh yeah enjoy it same with these two it depends on your definition of enjoy I just prefer chanting can you guys sing no not if I want to live if only we knew someone who could really sing I think we do follow me oh here she comes W
atch Out Boy she'll chew you up oh here she comes she's a maneater of course darl the computer nerd song bird he's like a funky Bill Gates the woman is wow he can sing and he hardly even fainted here she comes she's a man don't do that Daryl ever think about being the lead singer of a band like only every day great you can be the lead singer of our band you guys are a band why don't you see for yourself so yeah we're a band guys this is nice but Casio and straws at lunchtime uh this is kind of k
id stuff I'm just saying if I'm going to join a band it's going to be a real band like Steely Dan Daryl honey don't wait around for Steely Dan he's not coming for you he's not coming for any of us it could happen just sing with us if you like know a song that goes with these chords fine one song but nothing from Frozen cuz I don't want to [Music] cry hey Lenny to Stefano are you hiding from one of your many girlfriends yep hey you guys sound good are you a band Yes um you guys want to play my bi
rthday party this Saturday yes yes cool not so fast Lenny we have to go over the particulars what do you mean we want the corner pieces of the cake half of the pinata candy and ownership of the streaming and performance rights worldwide in perpetuity I'm not having a piñata get a piñata okay see you guys Saturday oh my God we just booked a gigg lady to Stephano's birthday party so are you in the band Daryl heck yeah I'm in the Band yeah the itty bitty didy Committee just got their first giggy yo
u guys I blocked out my schedule every every day after school for band practice every day that's a lot of practice we don't want to sound too rehearsed uh yeah Jean we do we want to sound really good L A stepo parties a big gig all right fine as long as practice includes snack breaks and bathroom breaks and commercial breaks where I describe my favorite commercials hey sha hey Jimmy junr I guess you heard the news about the itty bitty Diddy committee huh I was going to tell you that you're stand
ing in front of my locker oh sorry what's the itty bitty Diddy committee is that one of those improv groups my cousin was kidnapped by one of them that's our band name we're playing Lenny to stepanos party party on Saturday it goes from 5: to question mark just kidding it ends at 7:30 two burgers of the day I'm wearing this tank top cuz the doctor prescribed it for me Lynn you don't have to say that to every customer what I don't want people to think I'm trying to look like a hot potato what's g
oing on under there it's just a little hair I haven't been shaving my pit see oh my God wait what it's just there's so much of it how long since you've stopped shaving a few days it grows in really fast it's like animal fur it looks like that guy's hair from Cy crows yes okay all right everyone's having fun say goodbye to Mr Jones guys I wrote a song for Lenny's party Daryl here are the lyrics his name is Lenny it is not Jenny one time he ate a penny and he thought nobody saw is that true true e
nough I changed the name of the guy who ate the penny from Jean to Lenny and it was a nickel and two pennies and a tiny Rock All Right Follow My Lead his name is Lenny you know what this key isn't working for me can we try it in D or E flat no can do why not cuz no know how to do I can only play in this key and I don't know which letter that is yeah that's it here let me see uh are we playing in the right key oh yeah time at and W well that was a mess let's not do that again never right guys oka
y all agreed how was band practice kids good fine I thought it was kind of weird right guys didn't you think it was weird you mean when Daryl played your keyboard and you stood there looking terrified yeah that was weird Daryl played your keyboard why you know how when you only know how to play in one key and the other people want to play in different keys and you're like what's a key wa mom your armpit forests are really filling out you can barely see your rash anymore or your skin or anything
behind you Dad are you there yes see I'm right here behind the armpit hair good I love it we finally have pets I'm calling them lever and curly too late I already named them Harry and S wait one's a boy obviously it's not a boy it's a man no it's not I know if one was Billy Crystal everyone leave my pits alone that one just got angry when you got angry and so Lind is cooking today yeah she uh thought she'd be more comfortable back there today I'm hiding my pits Lind would it help if I took off m
y shirt and show a solidarity I got some weird stuff going on under here no tell no com it up surprise as in Surprise inspection Hugo hi hi Ron I see you're busy as usual just do what you got to do Hugo write me up for disorganized napkins or whatever oh count on it Bob I will but let's inspect the kitchen first hello Hugo hi Ron hi Linda Linda something is unusual about you today what is that what nothing it's nothing think fast aha Linda here is in violation of health code title 21 section a p
aragraph 8 excessive body hair must be covered but I need to wear a tank top need to why because of this rare sheah Jones a big fan oh yeah she likes tank tops too does she loves them uh-huh well I happen to have some armpit hairnets with me Ron here you go are you kidding me if you want to avoid a citation you'll keep those on come on Ron let's go down to the walk-in poke the produ see what pokes back great now I look ridiculous no they look good yeah very uh wow it looks like I trapped two hed
gehogs under my arms it doesn't that much I love hedgehogs I got to go ly where are you going I'm shaving him Lynn wait Teddy I'll be right back I got to go go to her Bobby Lynn don't do this I'm doing it Bob I'm taking it all off the doctor said if you shave you're just going to make it worse I can't believe I'm saying this but leave the hair alone I hate this R Bobby it's turning me into a monster you're not a monster Lyn your armpits have monster qualities but look we're going to fix this how
first you got to give me the razor you're going to do it no I wouldn't go near that Bob we'd have to rent a hedge trimmer or hire like a lumberjack or something like that stop it Lynn listen we're going to go on the internet yeah we're going to type in rash remedies uhhuh and we're going to see some horrible horrible images but we're also going to get some help I love you so much [Music] Bobby hi did we have practice schedule during lunch today hey Jean uh maybe uh you should sit down oh good I
got here just in time for break my favorite part of practice who's on whose lap Jean there's there's a reason why we were practicing without you because you guys need twice as much practice as me no it's because we're making some changes and uh you are we thought we should be in the band and you shouldn't be in the band sorry what I'm out of the band well good luck getting my sisters to play without me oh yeah they're out too yeah we're sort of evolving away from straws the thing is Gan Rudy an
d Peter are trained musicians and I kind of figured out how to sing all your keyboard Parts you can't sing my part and sing lyrics at the same time Jan he can we've seen it and it's so good yeah I brought in a Looper pedal so I can just scop I can sing on top of my voice that's this is also but this is my band I started all of this yeah and you're like the most fun member yeah I'm all drama but the thing is you can't actually play you only know three chords but I know them very well well two of
them I know very well the other one I'm just getting acquainted with this is hard for everyone Jean but mostly for me yeah true fine you know what I'm going to do I'm going to get really really good in time for Lenny's party Lenny's part's in 2 days Jean I know that Daryl you guys are going to be begging me to listen to you beg me to come back the door is always open Jean except can you close it on your way out I will slam it stupid safety D closing [Music] thing a kicked out of your own band Th
ey David Le roed you I'm glad we got kicked out that was starting to cut into my not going to band practice time and that time is precious I'm okay with it now I can focus on my solo straw stuff like drinking liquids guys we're going to get back together I'm just going to become the greatest musician in the world in the next 48 hours and that'll be that easy what are you going to do Jean go down to the crossroads make a deal with the devil almost I'm going to ask Miss Merkin to teach me the musi
c teacher at school the queen of the keys yep I figure one quick power sessh should get me ready for Lenny's party great plan honey I'm ready for the garlic Bob not to be all miss when is dinner but when is dinner and what is dinner you've been stirring that stuff forever oh this isn't dinner this is a home remedy for my armpit rash we found found it online what it's well past dinner time sorry just feed your children okay uh Bob hand me the oatmeal the fish oil and the buttermilk no fair why do
your armpits get to eat all the fun stuff oh it smells really weird a it's not that bad I mean it's a little weird okay it's really weird I'm just going to try it no Tina it's my medicine just give Tina whatever your armpits don't finish I'm so hungry Bob order a pizza get one with oatmeal fish oil and buttermilk on it so you want to become a skilled musician yes well good news all it takes is practice no discipline no and hard work no okay hearing a lot of nose look I just want to get good eno
ugh to get back into my man get discovered make it big throw it all away get it back again and we'll see what happens from there okay let's open up the workbook workbook do you hear how you sound right now Jean settle down listen to this that's a terrible song it's not a song it scales gross it's not gross it's gross it scales it can't be gross it's gross it's not gross it scales I'm just saying you use drums or something what [Music] nothing again again we've been doing this for hours you've be
en doing it for 45 seconds ah I can't take it anymore Jean you don't become a skilled musician overnight but that's exactly what I have to do lety to stano's birthday party is tomorrow you're playing Lin to Stephano's birthday party I was why don't you try and book next year or the year after that and practice until then and see if you can get me on as your opening act would you who am I kidding I'm never going to be a skilled musician I think I'm just going to go home would it help if I played
you out maybe he's leing a little early but that's okay he seems real depressed not helping all right there's a work in progress there's my little Jean toven how was your first music lesson what'd you learn I learned that I don't have what it takes what are you talking about you've got Swagger you got flare you got panach what else is there I'm not getting back in my band or any band I'm never going to get to hear one of my songs used in a Hyundai Elantra commercial never a I'd give you a hug hu
n but I'd get stinky pit paste all over your head why do I never get that warning time to reapply oh God You released the Beast it smells fine if you don't breathe we got to move Lynn it's going to stick up the whole place all right we're going out to the alley to reapply Tina Louise Comfort your brother there there I know what'll make you feel better here comes tickle and te tickle tickle tickle I don't need to be a musician in fact I don't need music at all really stop looking at me like that
keyboard you know I'm right what would you do instead maybe I'll be a baker or a Candlestick maker maybe I'll be a Potter or a teacher like welcome back cter maybe I'll juggle or maybe I'll juice be a Top Gun and be friends with goose one thing I know for sure I don't need music I don't need you anymore I don't need music I'm going to kick you right out the door I don't need music [Applause] anymore why don't you take the hint and leave me alone here take this thing and get rid of it for me what
are you saying I never want to see or hear from it again burn it Jean you don't want to do that take it I have to report to the Miramar Naval Air Station in Miramar California come on out sweetie you've been in there all morning Jin come on we got to open up the restaurant no thank you I'm fine we missed your breakfast we missed all your funny banana jokes that one where you pretend the banana is your penis I don't love that one why uh it's a little easy why what do you mean easy he's got other
ones like why which one he does the banana mustache he does Captain banana oh yeah oh I know what'll get him out who wants to see Mommy's big hairy pasty pits n good idea then all right all right nice try from the B team you guys go ahead downstairs The A Team will take it from here Jean we're coming in B Team all right we're leaving but only because we have to open the restaurant and we're not the B team no like in a good way not in a good way so you're uh still done with music right yes you h
aven't changed your mind nope this is what I'm doing now okay cool oh I almost forgot what is this that's your keyboard we burnt it just like you asked that's what you wanted right yes uh my keyboard keyboard my keyboard keyboard I don't want you to me dad aha we knew it we knew you still cared and that's why we didn't burn your keyboard what this isn't my keyboard no we burn dad's new socks who does he think he is if you want to see a real keyboard put on your burger suit do something about tha
t hair and come with us come on Jean let's play together like we used to you play the keyboard and we'll play the cups like all times no I can't I'm not a real musician well you're definitely a real something maybe a musician just isn't the right word for you maybe you're um musici come on Jean just one song yeah and after that if you're still done with music we'll really burn this [Music] sucker come on here we go this is going [Music] well there you go [Music] look they got Jean to play wow th
ey really are The A Team you want some burgers and fries you want some burgers and fries well there's some right here you tell me no yeah burger boy give him some straw oh yeah yeah ooh wow spin hey you guys want to amp things up plug it up plug it in was that me plug in the am all right okay oh look the kids have a little flash mob out there this thing's turning into a dance party I'm going out there dog Mark [Music] solo L I think the pit taste work I can't see your rash anymore oh yeah the ra
sh is gone you can shave yeah what you don't want to shave I don't I kind of like him now my little hairy and Sally I mean great carpet hair cool Madonna thank you yeah what are you guys doing here isn't it almost time for Lenny's party well funny story um after you were invited to leave the band and you reluctantly accepted we um it's not fun anymore so you're saying you're sorry yeah want to get the band back together and go play Lenny's party all right hey who wants to go to a cool sixth grad
ers party y hey let's lead everybody away from the restaurant no no no no no no I hope Lenny's okay with this what am I saying Lenny the Stephano you guys are going to love him I want Burg I want Burg well there's some right here you tell me no lies I want Burg tell there's some right here you tell me no lies [Music] [Music] [Music] did you get it Linda did you get it I got it woo yes what are you uh what are you guys talking about the bake seal the wag staff School Bak sale what am I talking ab
out oh right you you you know about that yeah Linda told about it she ran it 3 years ago and Colleen Cabello taged it to make Lind the look bad yeah she went behind my back and told everyone to bring banana bread so we had nothing but banana bread oh right I looked like an idiot you did and ever since then Colleen's taken it over and run that bake sale like it's her own exclusive Club but now it's Lon turn again yeah Mr Fran called last night I'm going to show me and Colleen cavy smow how it's d
one so wait wa Who whoo whoo backup you knew last night yeah and you didn't called me um that's fine I was up thinking about it but that's fine oh yeah Bob's Burgers this is Linda Mr Front you must be calling about the bake sale I was thinking we could do a theme like masquerade or Vegas baby oh no okay one of us will be right there Louise is in big trouble and one of us has to go down to the office oh okay you yeah me I just got the bake sale I am not going to lose it because one of our kids is
a delinquent right you've worked too hard Lind you've come too far do not lose this okay okay I'm not don't lose it I'm not where have everything ke my keys oh my God wait wait wait let me fix you here hold on I got to go I got to go okay okay go are you familiar within school suspension Linda uh is it like you're suspended but you stay at school not exactly it's yes that's basically it we found that regular suspension was like a day off for the children whereas in school suspension is more pun
itive and educational they sit alone in a room supervised by me and write an essay on what they did wrong what did Louise do wrong she pulled down a boy's pants exposed his underpants wo wo wo I only did it because Timmy and Scott O'Brien took pocket size Rudy's lunch and wouldn't give it back he's so little he needs to eat and no one else was helping oh knowing the O'Brien brothers that's probably true Louise but thank you am I a hero I don't know but Wagstaff has a zero tolerance pansing polic
y we're part of a national program called No pans pulled off behinds your actions were not appropriate well sounds like she was trying to help another kid yes I was Linda zero tolerance means Zero Tolerance not some tolerance are we not on the same page oh uh no same page absolutely we're going to be working together on that bake sale and now this whole thing happens you know a crazy world yes the bake sale it's nice that you stuck up for the little guy Louise but what you did was wrong real wro
ng great thanks Mom I just need you to sign this permission slip acknowledging Louise will spend the rest of the day in in school suspension and that you will come pick her up after school well that's what you get for sticking your neck out and doing the right thing my head down and mind my own business H shoot I completely forgot I have to take my mother to the podiatrist she has six ingrown toenails on one foot oh she sounds nice anyway we can ask Miss Schnur to supervise Louise I'm sure she'l
l agree no please mner I wouldn't ask if it weren't an emergency I'm busy today I'm looking up how every celebrity looks without makeup come on you can see the door from your desk all you have to do is make sure no one goes in or out h fine thank you you really are the best person for the job I know I'm like that God in sha Shank Redemption Nothing Gets By Me have you seen sha Shank Redemption not all the way through no spoilers okay and Louise any funny business and you'll get in school suspens
ion for a week never helping anyone again okay I'm uh going to take Louise in there to give her one last good talking to before I go good all right I'm off to the podiatrist Dr corn sander just kidding it's his name is Dr hand ironically okay I'm leaving what you did was very bad Louise and I want you to put it all in your essay why are you yelling There Are Rules Louise and you got to learn to follow them what are you doing you'll see just be quiet uh I just tripped over two chairs and and a de
sk and that's what made that loud sound now get out some paper and start writing Miss Missy I'm going to lower you out the window leave your stuff here and meet me at the car I don't want to tell you out of anything but why are you doing this you did something nice for someone now I want to do something nice for you wait wait wait wait help sorry go to the car this is crazy go go go go and we'll talk more about this after school did you hear any of that I hope I wasn't too hard Onna anyway she's
in there really learning a lesson and you won't hear a peep out of her good I hate hearing [Music] peeps we clear ah Lise you scared me what are you oh right yeah this is my idea yeah and what exactly is the idea what are we doing well listen what you did was wrong yeah everybody made that pretty clear but I don't want you getting the idea that helping people isn't worth it Louise cuz it is it is worth it so come on give me a hand look at me give me a hand okay so my genius mom plan is to rewar
d you for the good part of what you did by taking you out for ice cream keep talking then we'll pop you back in the window and you could write your essay and no one will will be the wiser or we could blow off the whole sa thing keep driving and start new lives in bokeh my hair in bokeh what are you this in that humidity what are you kidding me all right Bob's Burgers we made it we must be the first hi welcome the first oh yeah there's a bunch of us coming here this is our meeting point your meet
ing point are you just meeting or also eating all of it we dropped some of our group on the way here but they'll show up eventually eventually right the glory glory jalapeno birth sounds perfect two burgers of the day please you got it does that come with cheese uh yeah all right well same here but no cheese okay two for me too oh you guys are hungry huh we're burning about 4,000 calories on this ride so yeah yeah we'll start with two and then maybe have a third wow it's good to be young huh I'm
49 oh my God I have to start working out yes you do oh boy here the stragglers hi let me just clear the boooth for you guys and I'll be right back to take your order Bob you swamped let me get that for you what no Teddy I mean thanks but don't worry about it why not okay clear a table is so very difficult that only you can do it I'm fine Teddy I got it fine okay it's fine it's fine I got it okay great so can you get me some more coffee when you get a chance sorry about him no I'm fine I'm fine
I'm fine oh boy Louise are you in there we heard from regular siiz Rudy who heard from pocket size Rudy that you got in school suspension it's us Tina and Jean this is Tina no answer I'm going in Jean no if we get caught going in there we'll get suspend too it happened to Jimmy Junior when he tried to talk to Zeke it's true so courageous so now whenever SE suspended I just pass some notes those notes really lifted my spirits J get over here I got I appreciate it apprciate the hell out of hey get
away from there no talking to the suspend St strong Louise bye up girl what's up Zeke new shorts yeah all right go to class all right bye bye you know I used to get into trouble for sticking up for my friends you did uh-huh I panted the guy to do yeah Kenny karski he was making fun of Vicky tfo's forehead she had an enormous forehead like scary big anyway I even got his underwear everyone saw everything what Mom what other bad stuff did you do one time me and your Aunt Gale filled up a bunch of
water balloons and we went in the bathroom and threw them at the girls that were pooping what who were you sticking up for oh well I mean they were mean girls they were they were mean pooping girls hey are supposed to be at the restaurant don't you work there oh what like we're getting a big rush today I like those outfits thanks I put on SPS once I couldn't get it off for a week uh-huh he right to the ER doctor said if I was even 5 minutes later I would have lost a foot that was a fun Easter h
ere you go uh sorry for the wait hey can we get another round of beer too and more fries like a buttload yep that'll just be a minute I'm I'm by myself right now I mean my wife should be here I have a wife she's just not here she's real though this is making me sound like I don't have a wife I he does he definitely does and I do too Teddy stop it hey her name is Karen millotti oh God hi I have a seat I'll be right with you where is [Music] Linda oh God help me Teddy I could actually use a hand y
eah you won't regret this you will not regret it oh boy oh boy oh Bo I am in I am ready give me a thing to put on that right oh here's Lind okay I'm already regretting this but I I I think you have to take the orders while I make everything I will not lay you down Bobby hello and welcome to Bob's my name's Teddy and I'll be your servant today can I start you with some appetizers any dietary restrictions I should know about before we get going here Teddy Teddy Teddy huh too much yeah style it bac
k I'll try any birthdays anyone celebrating your birthday so you wrote her a note too big time what does yours say it says how you doing in there kiddo but then I scratched o kiddo it felt forced mind's the picture of that angry hot dog I've been drawing lately Zeke Jimmy junor what's the best way to slide these notes under the door sure let me do it uh-huh uh-huh J can get him right under of the dek well I've had a lot of practice cuz I have a problem with impulse control and they not read it r
ide back and slide it right under and slide it back under huh come on yeah Z definitely would have written back by now well maybe she just didn't see them or maybe she hates us she resents us for our freedom I told you kids stay away from that door are we by this door oh we are we were just walking and we're still walking bye M poor Louise yeah she must be having the worst day you're all right Louise I don't care what anyone else says back at you this has been fun let's do it again sometime can
I call you I took a magazine from the waiting room did you what fine I'll mail it back to them not that he's hking at you I know mother oh no Mr fond where where he's right there in his car did this I don't know I don't know let's go I got to go I got a meeting with the city council oh in there yes ooh cotton candy mom no we're hiding right right right oh don't come in here don't come in here don't come in here ah Nazi came in here oh where are we going I think I saw a truant student and I'm not
letting her get away oh a Chase fun put on the siren what you want to win a goldfish three shots for a dollar no wait maybe no no no thank you oh boy this is bad I'm going to get at least a weak suspension I know and if he sees me I can kiss the bake sale goodbye crap that's right yeah you want to just take one look at these goldfish they're not all dead see that guy's wiggling a little bit he's got some fight in him huh a I love him little wig F's coming this way we got to go in deeper uh can
I get extra jalapenos on that you got it two more burgers in a day extra jalapenos buddy shoot oh no I forget who these go to uh didn't you write down a table number or anything no no no I got my own system I associate something with their order and then I make a rhyme out of it what the guy with brown hair wants it medium rare the guy with sunglasses wants extra cheese that one doesn't rhyme they can't all rhyme I'm doing all this stuff and then I'm trying to come up with these rhymes it's hard
you could just write down the table numbers Teddy no no no it's too late now Bob we're in the weeds okay who had a plain hamburger wait I remember the guy who wants it plane was kind of a pain that's you sir right no it's the guy who looks like a weird David blade where's he I drew another angry hot dog this time he's at the beach and he's Furious than a whale I wrote her an inspirational hiu hang in there Louise I know it's tough right now but things are oh wait that's not a IU uh-oh they put
a guard on the door I'll try to distract him while you slip the notes hey Mr Bron no no no no no keep moving damn mner had to use the restroom and told me to watch this door no one in no one out sh but if two cool kids had notes or pictures of funny Foods I might look up here for a second and they could slide them under the door without anyone see fing up well how do we know if that's our situation Jean I think that is our situation did I say cool kids let's say slow kids that's us could you loo
k up again looking up thanks Mr brona I don't know you [Music] w w uh-oh knock some peppers out I'm just going to poke them back in no no no T don't poke the food sh I'm just sticking it back in here get in there guys what are you doing hi get back in there I don't even know if you washed your hands you shouldn't be touching the wash my hands not a surgeon Bobby we only have a few more orders just keep it together for a little bit longer God you are really sweating yeah I'm dripping a little not
the food much my eyes my eyes no I got jalapeno with my eyes where's your emergency eyewash station what we don't have an emergency eyewash station no princess wash your hands doesn't have an emergency eyewash station I can't see Bob what am I supposed to do now just let me take them out uh no wait Bob uh my other senses are coming up stay on the grill I can do this I'm more alive now than I've ever been before no boy who had extra jalapenos I can't see you use your voice I'll remember your voi
ce everyone say something oh my God this is crazy he's closing in on us can he smell us I can Andy's between us and the exit and we're tracked in here should we just jump into the ocean and end it all maybe no swim to shore oh no grow so what should we do G I can't believe I got us into this mess yeah exactly this is what I've been saying you tried to do something nice for me and it puts you in the ass you're going to lose the big sale this is why you shouldn't help people ever no you listen to
me you're a good person Louise and so am I good people do what's right even if it bites them in the ass I mean you know what don't say ass say bump listen here's what we're going to do we're going to turn ourselves in and I'm going to tell them breaking you out of school was all my idea and then maybe you won't get suspension for a week what about the big sale well I have other passions besides planning an amazing bake sale and laughing in Colleen cavell's conventionally attractive face okay her
e's another idea we split up and I run right at him I'll find cover where I can and I got to get real lucky but if I can get past him I can get back to school before he does what no you'll definitely get caught no I'll probably get caught but you'll definitely keep that bigail no no you're not doing that no sure sure I I know I'm just you know spitballing just throwing things out there trying to solve this predicament oh Mom don't panic but is that a bee in your boobs a be in my boobs my boobs o
h my God what the that selfless little [Music] stinker come on Louise those aren't Eagles they're seagull what did I say oh I want to get my face painted no no no we're not here to have fun oh my God are you joyous Phillip don't start that again mother me oh boy oh boy you never let me get my face painted that is just not true yes oh hey Mr France this must be your mother how are you I'm Linda hello Linda I had six ingrown toenails I heard that is fascinating Linda funny seeing you here I though
t I saw Louise just now Louise no she's at in school suspension where I left her what are you doing out here me I came here uh to get my face painted it's uh like a cheap facial see she knows how to have fun I do uh-huh mother we're stopping by the school before I take you home sorry it's okay I'm just happy to be outside wait wait wait I want to talk about the big sale I got so many ideas get off me don't pull on my sleeve what are you doing all right we can talk on the phone okay yeah sure oka
y here we go over to the face paint boo like I said before uhhuh thanks for coming in you guys are they still here did they leave yet yeah yeah they're gone Teddy still still can't see anything not really no I just see shapes but just point me in the direction of a table and I will clear it off all right it's okay Teddy I got it do I get to keep the tips yeah really sure I mean you might have less than you think once you started running around blindly slamming into everybody knocking them to the
ground I think they were clicking there for a while hot no yeah no we did all right not really pretty good no yeah pretty bad we were real team there Bobby we were not we were doing it we we got after we were at odds yeah you know what as crazy as it sounds I could go for a jalapeno burger right now hey for you coming right up all [Music] [Music] right wait here I'll be right back oh okay I'll just count the clouds 1 2 2 and A2 is Louise still in there she hasn't left all day I'm going to check
okay I'll sit right here while you do that good luck to both of us hey Mr frond we're here for Louise she's done her time man we need to reintroduce her into society get her used to life on the outside well I'm here for Louise too but she's not going to be here for us when I open this door what Louise you're here of course where else would I be why are you sweaty and winded um because it's hot in here where's the air conditioner yeah that's what I want to know well where's your essay let's see
it right here where I keep my essays hey that's the notes we've been just a kid yelling it's a lot of drawings of an angry hot dog and a poorly formed Haiku that seems harsh just saying I don't get it well the angry hot dog represents who I am in here and then the Haiku represents who I want to be out there but if you don't get it I I I get it I just thought it might have a a meaning beyond the obvious meaning mhm Louise how good you made it through the day oh and my little Tey and Genie are her
e to visit the jilbert's sister no matter what she does we'll always love her want to talk about the face what's there to talk about I'm a cat meow I love this woman hello again Mr fron is Louise free to go uh she seems to have satisfied the requirements so yes Louise did we learn our lesson today we sure did mom wait what was that did you just wink at each other yeah cats wink and some people wink at their cat moms and other people leave their moms in cars on hot days with all the windows rolle
d up oh my god mother i' had the time of my life though I never felt this way before yes I swear it's the truth and I owe it all to you I the time of my life and I search through every Open Door till I found found the [Music] truth this is called a toy aisle and some kids have parents who come here and buy things for that sounds made up how are we all having the same dream right now kids pick out a gift please we're already late for your friends party he's not our friend we barely talked to Colt
on he's not even in any of our grades there's a lot of nice people who aren't in our grades name one and don't say mom you know what I think this is Colton's patting out his invite list to get more presents he's a gift grubber Louise come on give Colton a chance Tina's right you got to give people a chance sometimes they surprise you now seriously pick a gift and let's go fine Rubik's Cube well a fake one it says multicolored puzzle Square I want it toys are great there are no price tags on the
batteries how much are the batteries how much are the batteries uh I don't work here then what's with the attitude oh it's Edith kids let's go what's wrong dad give her a chance she might surprise you that only applies if it's not Edith she's always awful dad maybe someday when you're old a family will run away from you wow they went all out it says on the invite the theme is The Great Gatsby I don't know about great kind of a weird theme for a kids party hi we're Colton's parents I'm Blake and
this is Allison well aren't you kids the bees knes Colton come say hi here you go a boater for the little gentleman and flapper feathers were the girls that's cute want to swap yes please call me feather loer Colton what do we say thanks for coming to my party thank you for having us Colton we brought you a present added to the present pile Colton can I just open my presents now party first Bud then presents see classic gift grubber oh wait before you go Colton let me get a pick with your friend
s after you take your finger out of your nose finger out no you just switched fingers better that's better okay say 23 scoo 23 okay well I got to get back to the restaurant so uh have fun 23 sco to you I don't know what that means neither do we Okay bye hey Teddy you got a spring in your step today oh no wait you look depressed hey well the good news is I've got a second date with that lady I told you about Caroline that's great yeah but she wants to get sushi I hate sushi but Caroline loves sus
hi so I said Hey I Love Sushi too and now I got to sit across from her and choke on my disgusting lies why don't you just get the chicken terak why don't you just get get the chicken Teryaki Mor wow wow Teddy calm down we can help you we can get you to like sushi really but my dates tonight it's not enough time we'll see about that I'll call in a sushi order oh my God this is happening can I get a spicy tuna roll can I get a California Inside Out roll please hold on hold on let me get a pencil s
hould we just be a sushi restaurant don't tell Bob we'll see if he notices H is that Edith she's really struggling with those bags it's kind of funny a pee and poop oh God all right Edith hey uh you need a ride oh Bob I just saw you in the store I tried to avoid you okay so no ride then H I'll take a ride yes that'll be very helpful oh great then hop in your car looks like it has ants it does I feel bad for them so you were walking really far huh I can't drive my car right now oh is there someth
ing wrong with it no I have fits bad ones oh what does fits mean exactly fits fits or we could just not talk here what are these KS hold on to the bottle if I start to have a fit just put one in my hand great I'm so glad we're doing this Bob would you do me a favor another one I just need to make a quick stop I wouldn't trouble you but it's so hard being older and not being able to drive okay I guess a quick stop would be fine Edith all right Guys and Dolls we're going to learn the Charleston fi
rst you wiggle that finger then you chle those knees a wiggle wiggle wiggle a jigle jigle jiggle oh my God this is so cute I love it I'm dying G look at Colton he's just picking his nose till present time that'd be a great day for his autobiography Louise give Colton a chance I'll fla her in the glasses remember to wiggle your finger sorry doesn't deserve all those presents and he certainly doesn't deserve our perfectly fine off brand puzzle toy we should take it back what no I think that's agai
nst birthday party etiquette well I follow David arut and that guy does whatever he wants plus I really don't think you're right about him Louise oh yeah prove me wrong all flapper in a glasses I'm wiggling damn it finally wa she's walking really fast like really fast Drive damn it drive what let's move go what's happening I said step on the gas you ass I'm stepping on it it's an old car elanar hbomb never knew what hit her who is Elanor hbom what is this all about quilting huh quilting what els
e would it be about my quilting Circle was making a quilt to celebrate the town history each member got to do a square but my Square got rejected by the bossy bitty who leads the group Lillian she said the subject matter was inappropriate when I stood up to her she kicked me out of the group wait wait Lily is the lady you just stole from no that's elener so many old lady names today everyone's supposed to stitch their squares together in a ceremony at the warf Art Center oh it's a big fancy to d
o but who's going to have all the squares me why did you drag me into this Edith oh I didn't plan to I was going to H it but then the universe sent me a guy with a filthy car and nothing to lose nothing to lose I I have a family and a business the restaurant you can't be serious let's talk more pedal huh we have squares to snatch I I'm taking you home grow up here and then some hair I'm not doing this Edith just get out oh fine you big baby let an old lady gather her supplies and I'll be Edith a
re you okay are you having a fit p p Dam it P here here aren't you going to swallow it drive me Bob what no no this is the easy part then comes the shaking then the SP are you crazy take the pill E you want an old lady's fit on your conscience can you live with it can you fine fine I'll drive you just take the pill now let's ride I'm taking off my seat belt it's chaf in my [Music] Honkers Edith are you okay I I really think I should just take you to the hospital and not do your plan your plan is
very bad you always talk this much pull up here wait where are we Philip fr's house this is Mr fr's house you're going to steal from my kids guidance counselor while I wait in the car relax I'm not going to hurt him quilt people are pushovers you just compliment their needle work and they roll over like a puppy and when they're guards down snatchy snatchy keep your engine running oh it's almost bad Mitten time and then it'll be present time oh won't that be a treat for Colton H ganor feet smell
really bad I'm aaring them out all that dancing gave me soggy flapper feet wait I have an idea we don't just take our present back we take our present back and plop Jean smelly socks in the gift bag instead cold and saking up our Saturday let's stink up his precious gift table Louise you said you'd give me time just let me talk to Colton he's not as bad as you think I know it g fine Tina you've got until he opens presents then the gloves come off the feet gloves okay here I go hi Colton uh birt
hdays huh hey could I ask you something bad mitt come on Flappers and Dappers let's play glasses talking to you Colton get your game face on a dang it I feel so badly about what happened with the Quilters there are some lovely crafts in this room you didn't make all this stuff yourself did you actually I did oh what are you some kind of secret genius secret genius no no I'm just a dabbler in the Fiber Arts oh my what is that ah I call that needle point break that's kianu Reeves and Patrick sarn
it's a one in a series actually well in that case I must see all of them oh really I I've got to get them there in the back okay have you seen Conair because there are some spoilers in the needle point okay well I'll try not to look at those parts he's eight Sushi what's all the stuff it comes with stuff it comes with stuff yeah lots of little stuff you dip it and you dunk it it's like a fun little game I got to put ketchup on it no Teddy no Bob's Burgers we're eating sushi what Linda it's me li
sten I might need your help Bob where the heck are you you were supposed to be back a half an hour ago well Edith is making me drive her all over town to get back at her quilter Circle why why is that Teddy is he okay oh no Bob I got to go Teddy just ate a handful of Wasabi I thought it was guacamole hold on here's the guacamole it's that stuff again I got to go Bob I got to go have fun with Edith Goodbye Oh My Face drive go go go go go go okay okay Edith huh darn it I dropped needle juice oh lo
ok at this crummy thing and they rejected my Square my freaks they freaks left here left left left what kind of getaway driver are you can't to a Hy over this law get just right come oh God come on we got to do some Quil Dan that's right Drive baby all right smacking get that square [Music] Baby Bo Come on [Music] B that sign back there said yield you didn't really yield yeah it kind of felt amazing you're an animal I am well we saved the worst for last the head of the quilter circle the horse's
ass who rejected my Square lilan great you you deal with that I'll do the sitting and waiting and driving cool yeah you forgot sweating nice pit stains cool guy yeah it's a problem all right next croquet group you're up can I get a picture Colton finger got a feel for Colton's parents they're working hard out there and Colton's giving them nothing I'm going to hit my ball towards Colton so I can try to talk to him again oh that didn't go very far let me hit again that didn't go very far let me
hit it again now I'm getting it now I'm getting it oh my God he's still so far far away it's not worth slowly tapping your way over to him Tina sometimes people are as terrible as you think they are if you can't handle reality you should have stayed inside of mom that was an option hey I know we're in the past but let's move into the presents as in let's open some presents everyone looks confused it's fine it's fine time's up Tina Jean start the stock removal process no woo I made that I'll take
those oh my God we're going to kill him wait wait pre-present portraits give me the anticipation give me the jealousy no you later what are you doing hold hi I was just uh what's that smell were you going to take back my gift and wrap dirty socks instead whoa slow down what you're describing as a felony probably no I think it's hilarious what you do yeah would drive my parents nuts this is all their idea they wanted everything to be perfect all I wanted was a pizza party for me and my imaginary
friend petza party pizza party nice thanks I'll tell him anyway dad said that wouldn't look good on so me so yeah my mom are always telling me act more postable well for someone who didn't want a big party you seem pretty excited to open those presents yeah because after that everyone goes home I want to get to that part boers boers everybody straighten them out it's fun to have straight boers I'll get the bird's eye babe # Colton's Gatsby day G # barf uh sir the lady you drove here with is hav
ing a fit and Technically she's not our responsibility so oh my god there you are P here take it dress it all what her room's behind you the Square's in your dresser I'm not getting it Eden then I'm not taking the pill oh fine watch her I I'll be right back I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this Sergeant bosow is Lilian Sergeant BOS find what you were looking for I'm better now we'll be going he's my lover by the way hi you'll stay right where you are the other quilter has w
arned me You' be coming my son is a police officer he'll be here any minute he'll plant drugs on you he'll plant drugs on all of you let's go H stuff oh oh stop them oh my God oh my God oh my God oh my God oh my God woo now this is how you [Music] quill well that was maybe the worst thing I've ever done really this is a pretty good day for me now point this knot Rod that way and drive me to my store oh you called me to find your missing quilt square m this is ridiculous your brother would care a
bout my quilt you only visit when they have a hot fudge Sunday bar that is not true listen I look into it is today hot fudge Sundays no damn and I'm going with you all right fine are there cookies you may have one cookie yes oh wow look at that hold it up higher turn your head you're loving this you're loving this it was right in front of us all along can't believe we got it so wrong well actually I sh we all got it wrong there's got to be something we can do for this kid well if he thought my d
irty sock were funny let's give him my Underpants ooh or my sports bra here we are goodbye Edith goodbye Bob it's well I'll say after you drive us to the warf Art Center ceremony starts in 20 minutes step on a chubs are you kidding me no time to discuss if the cops are on our Trail it's the first place they'll look ah how's it going back there Harold let going take it easy on the bumps chump he's a bad driver yeah terrible learn to drive what are you even been doing I thought the plan was just t
o take everyone's squares this is phase two too they're expecting a quilt at the warf art center and Harold and I are going to give it to him oh unbelievable oh pipe down soon this will be over and you can go back to your boring little was that you Edith yes excuse me no take one of your gas pills heral okay wait gas pills you mean these hey how come Fatty's got your fart meds has he got the Toots too t so you don't really get fits I get farts close enough is it even true that you're not allowed
to drive the cars in the shop same thing oh this is incredible you tricked me you know how much trouble I could get in Edith not to mention my family my wife is probably worried sick this is the only thing I care about in this world right now eat it both of you out of the car come on Harold Harold the quilt the quilt oops is that your Square what's on it what do you care it just looks incredible maybe it's the freak Show the freak Show yeah used to be down at the Wonder Warf it was a big part o
f this town for years that's two-faced Tommy it's Howie the pin head bearded Becky tattooed Larry and His companion pumpkin head Gary there's righty the left-hander that was freaky back then uh who's that the the little girl that's well that's me my parents worked on the warf the freaks looked after me kept me out of trouble but Lillian thinks the freaks don't belong on the town's history quilt she thinks they're shameful just cuz their nipples are three times as long as ours will it one guy at
least oh that's uh kind of sweet I I don't know what to say go home Bob Harold and I will take the bus oh no you won't get back in the car both of you what I just got out of the car do you know how hard it is for me to get in and out of cars Harold do what the man said all right thank you Bob don't take me Edith well you know what thank me yeah I just did stop flirting with my wife she's spoken for Take the Long Way to the art center Harold needs more time he's a slow so I am not all right I'll
take the long way but I'm worried BOS is looking for us keep your eyes peeled is that a joke about my cataracts no but that's kind of funny it's closed I give up oh of course you do who are you calling cab hopefully the other Quilters I think I know where that crazy bag of bones is heading get in the car we're going to the warf Art Center I'll just do all my other police work later I guess last present ooh look at the light everyone gather up Colton nose finger separate them G they're all over t
hem you know what enough's enough wait what this one's for you Colton h little girl finger we got any other Pickers at the party come on don't be shy wait what's what's going on don't be afraid to double barrel it absolutely not no double barrel yes double barrel that's it that's it nice uh house tell me about these sconces the sconces are from Florence and there's a whole story there but right now you need to tell me why you're trying to ruin Colton's party it's not my party what did you say sw
eetie the part's really for you guys what do you mean I think what he means is sometimes we do things for our kids but they're not really for our kids I mean not that I have kids that I know of Colon's saying this party is one big photo op what that's ridiculous oh my God it's true it is it is you kids don't get it I mean everybody that I work with has such beautiful photo feeds every weekend this family is petting a manay that family is jumping off a dune during a fireworks display where do the
y find these fireworks Dunes we're all looking for our fireworks Dunes bro so what are we going to do here all right Cole one last gift and no pictures nice so we just take pictures with our eyes and save them to our brains God the resolution of my eyes is so good you're doing great guys I've been taking pictures of the inside of my pocket this whole time and I think I posted them all I'm liking them I'm liking them God we're sick oh crap go go go go oh oh oh shoot them I'm not shooting somebody
because my mother tells me to again a these bozos there's the quilt thief the queef Bob beler I thought that was your car I didn't figure you for a queef stop saying that like it means quilt Thief hi I'm the director of exhibitions the sewing ceremony for the quilt celebrating Town history is that still happening or it's happening but this woman will play no part in IT hand over the quilt Edith come and take it Lillian yeah bring it now now no need for this to get nasty give the quilt to me nic
e and easy wait everybody Edith Square just give it a chance listen I I know what Edith did looks bad and I know she's difficult possibly horrible and yes Edith wants to put freaks on the quilt and that might not sound very pretty oh enough what on Earth does Edith see in this man but Edith knew the Freaks and they were regular people they were good people sometimes we judge people on what we think we know about him but that's wrong just take a look at Edith Square beautiful needle work Wonderfu
l detail on the nipples so who votes to give this quilt to the warp Art Center do you vote on things no we vote sometimes we vote no we don't all those in favor although suppose nay sorry Lillian looks like the freaks stay on the quilt staying on the quilt yes uh Bob my mom's all ril up about this I was wondering if uh you could help me out get in the car per you're making a big mistake Bosco yeah we're not going quietly punk ass poo thanks I'll drive you around for a while then drop you off som
ewhere inconvenient and let that be a lesson to you crazy queefs so you spent your whole day with Edith how was that actually great you guys spent your whole day at that weird party how was that it was medium fun actually I may take up nose picking God speed I I had a big day too I taught Teddy how to stop hating Sushi really how how'd you do that well I mean I kind of taught him great place so glad we're eating here and now I will have some sushi what the O quaca God been all on the wheel in my
head that dri my he my baby call says I need you there a half I'm sh gear we got a radar love we've got a wave in the air Radar Love for a change yeah like we're so clean hey Teddy we haven't seen you in a while I've been working like 3 days straight for Helen out at her beach house oh that house I want that house I want it first it's been nice just me and Helen working talking we've even shared a few sunsets I'm pretty sure one of the days we both looked at the sunset at the same time it sound
s like you still have a little crush on it Teddy a crush oh I don't know maybe I mean she's so uh are there any dancers coming up you could ask her to yeah when is handyman prom what no a guy like me doesn't have a chance with a br like her oh come on sure she's gorgeous and Rich and why would she go out with you but also why not you right why can't you be Cinderella Teddy n n n so what kind of work is she having you do at her Beach House mostly looking in chimneys and air Ducks s of euphemism w
hy is she having you do that H Helen thinks her late husband Larry who she definitely didn't kill hid something valuable from her does she know you describe her that way wait Larry was hiding stuff why I don't know but apparently Larry liked to hide stuff in Vents and chimneys cuz that's what you do when you totally trust your wife who definitely didn't kill you right right what did Helen think Larry hi a little Japanese carved figurine it's called a net ske net ske yeah Netscape I believe it's
pronounced Netscape this one's a carving of two snails into TDE are there Honeywood baby wow that's beautiful I wouldn't say beautiful but it seems consensual I guess it's worth a ton apparently Larry had all sorts of wacky Investments Japanese Antiquities vintage typewriters real estate wa wait why is real estate a wacky investment well if you saw the apartment building you owed you know that place a couple blocks from here the deont oh yeah near the stop sign with the testicles graffiti on it
that's the one I've done some handyman stuff there it's an interesting old Place nothing works in the whole building but it's got charm hold on I wonder if Larry hid the netki at his apartment building huh Teddy you got to go there and find the Netflix e that's G yeah so you can surprise Helen with it wa you'd score huge points with her if you did that I would are you kidding me you'd be a prince charming it's a freaking fairy tale wait I thought he was Cinderella now he's a prince he can be bot
h Bob yeah Dad read a book huh I do still have keys let's all go right now we can help you find it yes let's do it for love and for Louise to get a super valuable snail sculpture no Louise it's not yours even if you find it come on let's all help Teddy find the thing and get his dream girl yeah great let's close a little early and go probably not find something somewhere all right wow this place is older than Dad no offense Dad n I'm taken a lot of buildings are not in this country okay so every
apartment has Vents and fireplaces and we're going to check them all come on Teddy's magical future life with Helen depends on us and why are people going to just let us in well um uh we're here to do maintenance stuff you know we'll FIB a little oh boy open up tenant we need to search your holes there you go Jean gets it so we should probably split up there's three floors Bob Jean you guys start at the top we'll meet you in the middle and we'll all kiss fine not now okay uh don't bother with t
he elevator it hasn't worked in 30 years apparently it's basically just a big fancy bird cage now so stairs then perfect anyone want to trade third floor hello who's there hi my son and I are here with with Teddy the handyman we're here to check some pipes uh great come in come in I I called about the pipes a few weeks ago the hot water in the kitchen just trickles out TMI follow me can I get you something to drink maybe some warm water from the sink if you have an hour uh no we're we're good th
anks why are we looking at his pipes oh crap did I say pipes we were supposed to say vents or was it vests want to check him for vests you're going to see a cat in here um no if you do it's not mine let it out okay should we just leave no we should help this guy I think he's blind let's look at his pipes and then maybe we can casually switch to vents then vests here's where it's trickling sorry it's dark in here but you probably have your own work light right uh we uh we don't we don't have it o
n us it's in the truck our big Butch truck for boys we both Drive Jane stop talking who'd you say you were again oh uh flew back no we're not we're not we are Fleetwood back we're are the name of our company's Fleet with Mac we're handyman are you handy yes we're handy Jane uh well I'm going to go back to my shows great well we'll be in here with our plumber butts fix fix fix fix fix fix hi uh we would like to check out your heating vents oh all of you that's right doesn't make a lot of sense no
no it does oh it does yeah yeah it makes perfect sense you sure yeah yeah yeah oh okay sure why not come in great thanks oh I know you yeah I I I swapped out your refrigerator a couple of mons ago of course yeah how's your back uh I thought it was going to snap like a wishbone My Wish would have been that I didn't have a herniated disc but you rather have a heated disc heated right I'm Kathleen by the way uh me too yeah uh no I mean no you're Kathleen I'm Teddy whoa chemistry alert what sport y
ou watching here what is this grass hockey or something people Polo people Polo no it's hurling hurling what what what's hurling well it's it's like a hockey soccer and baseball had a baby and then that baby joined gang Lou quick hallway meeting did you guys see Teddy and C in there they're really hitting it off no Tina what we're here for Teddy and Helen and the just saying we're here to help Teddy find love but what if it's not with Helen listen when Rich and beautiful Helen sees Teddy marchin
g in there with that nuty nut she is going to pick him up and carry him away and they're going to live happily over after in her Beach House Castle cuz she's Rich well maybe Teddy doesn't need a rich princess Charming to pick him up and carry him away maybe he needs a nice lady with either a Charming speech impediment or cool accent I can't tell in a sensible apartment to watch weird sports with sorry Mom I'm on team Kathleen well I'm on te Helen remember we're here to make Teddy and Helen a rea
lity I'm here to make Teddy and Kathleen a reality Helen and Teddy are going to toast me at their wedding and you are going to have to clap and smile nice well I'll try and get you an invitation to Kathleen and Teddy's wedding but no promises and it's probably going to be a destination wedding in wherever Kathleen's from I want to say Pennsylvania too bad Kathleen's bonding up a storm with Teddy and Helen's not even here damn there she is um hi oh she's even better looking than I remember oh boy
what's going on Helen hey what what are you doing here how about you first I was looking for that thing of Larry's and these belies were helping me well that's fun that you shared that information with so many people this thing has a lot of sentimental value for Me Maybe actual value who knows you know this feels like a reward situation since this thing has so much sentimental value right yes yes of course let's have a reward how does $20 sound oh like not enough money 50 well aren't you a litt
le busy businesswoman okay deal, 50,000 Louise sh oh you're Larry's Widow oh I'm so sorry losing a husband really sucks I know I I lost one myself yeah it's rough it's really really rough stuff who's this that's Kathleen she lives in 1A Larry was a nice guy and a delight of a neighbor what do you mean neighbor neighbor am I saying that right neighbor he stayed here when he was in town in his apartment 3B I I mean of course I know he had an apartment here duh yeah you were you were saying it weir
d son of a [ __ ] had a secret man cave did it work now no no no so keep doing this 100 more times Well turning this thing is the full extent of my Plumbing knowledge wait did it work now no no hell no why hell no just switching it up old baseball Ms vintage board games it's like he filled this place with everything I wouldn't let him have at home so Kathleen I love your hair tell me how long ago did your husband pass away appropriate time to start dating again ago smooth tea perfect eight years
ago he was hit by train oh I'm so sorry that's terrible no did you sue the city for Millions you're Americans suing for Millions isn't going to bring him back plus you know he loved trains who does it boo caught what Teddy come here help me fix Helen a drink come on come on come on okay well good luck finding what you're looking for where are you going back to my apartment that's where I can keep my Telly but wait don't you want to stay and talk with Teddy oh she's gone Helen look at Teddy po t
hese drinks he's like freaking Tom Cruz in cocktail yeah I went to Barty School best four years of my life o make me a my tie a what H do you mind if I smash this face please do I hate that vase yes Louise no damn it where are you going after Kathleen I've got a match to make I'll join you maybe Larry's secret apartment is too obvious a place to hide a secret oh hey guys how's it going it's going weird you same dad are you lost um no we're helping this guy in 3A I just can't figure out where thi
s pipe goes to if these two go to the radiator what is this one maybe it goes to your butt yeah Dad check it oh hey guys what you eating cold pasta hot damn do you want some this is cold pasta all right I'm going to look around your apartment but it'll be totally normal ignore me okay speaking of cold pasta what do you look for in a fella I suppose I like guys that are kind check and strong super check hey Teddy we need you down in 1A buddy and Brilliant I wouldn't kick brilliant out of bed for
farting up the sheets brilliant uhhuh I'm still com on down Teddy D it is sick and uh you know who's never had an STD Teddy pretty sure not really listening but he was in the Navy but uh sounds like they need me in 1A I'm just going to pop down there real quick hurry back you got to be the one to find the nsky right right right Teddy wait we we've got a plumbing thing in here how do you um do plumbing wish I had time guys but uh here's a pliers a wrench and a screwdriver God speed so these guys
will just know what to do right the wrench will the screwdriver doesn't know anything I don't ask the pliers hi you rag yes but first you've got something in your eye I do oops uh where' my glasses go Kathleen can you take a really long look at Teddy's eyes okay they're kind of bloodshot what am I looking for I have been welding without a mask Teddy look into Kathleen's eyes deeply wait who's got something in their eye I'm seeing ey Bogies you want me to get them out or are we leaving them in wh
at are we doing let's leave them in well it's not in the fireplace who's got a wet wipe Teddy can you come upstairs to to B damn it okay coming to be uh to be continued am I right Kathleen not necessarily people could leave my apartment that's an option okay I should label these probably oh it's one of these okay no ah no ah not that one ah not that one either here we go not that time come on here we go open sesame here we are apartment 2B cly empty nope hello sir you look terrified boy Teddy th
e handyman such a handy man imagine having someone around all the time that can fix stuff for you yeah especially around here where everything breaks or leaks or smells and no one licensed has ever stepped foot in this building hell even Larry would pick up a hammer sometimes try and nail down the loose boards in the stairway and he did some Plumbing in the upstairs hallway for some reason Plumbing in the upstairs hallway you don't say well I did say you did yeah I just said it uh excuse us Tina
girl the pipes the pipes are calling what pipes pipes are calling you know the song dny boy yeah it's the pipes are calling it's the you know it doesn't you don't even need to know the song just come with me Dad said he couldn't figure out where this pipe went what if it doesn't go anywhere H holy crap you found it come on let's collect our dough and go right we tell Howen we get a reward and then we leave and we'll never know if Kathleen and Teddy are meant to be yep good plan let's do that un
less we don't because we never found the net skate what Kathleen and Teddy need is more time for their romance to Blossom come on let's get this guy back in his pipe well but what about the reward we'll find it again in a little bit after Teddy and Kathleen realized they're falling in love then you'll get your reward and you'll do my restaurant chores for a month feel fine whatever who's the super Matchmaker now huh um you are damn fraking right I am okay treasury hidden good good now let's get
back to forcing Kathleen and Teddy together ah the beginning of every great Love Story crap Teddy's with Helen it's coming from the laundry room what's going on in here nothing we're just venting I'd be waiting a long time to say that totally worth it okay we can laugh an look huh candles I'm might a little couple maybe it's romantic who knows come on Louise okay this might work we uh we loosened it and uh then we tightened it I feel pretty good about this okay does it work now no oh crap just l
ie to me at this point really no happy to lie to you about your hair what's wrong with it nothing wait does it work now yes really yes what did you do I turned the thing I thought that's what you were doing before I was turning it wrong but let's not focus on that we fixed the sink we fixed the sink come up to me I need to hold you I'm coming oh this might take a minute here let me pull on your ear no don't pull let me look at your little beautiful face I'm out we did we did it did it you sure a
re happy about doing your job oh uh yeah well we uh I'm kidding you're my new favorite handyman I'm going to recommend Fleetwood mat to all my friends is that sound what I think it is no no definitely not uh come in I guess hey Kathleen I had such a hankering for more of that cold pasta mind if I out myself cool thanks she couldn't stop talking about it yeah the Secret's letting it sit in the fridge for a couple of weeks oh man I got red sauca over this dish towel you clumsy fool wait what what'
s what's happening are you are you people okay Kathleen you got to get this towel to the laundry room right now come with us show us where it is fix your hair oh never mind there's no time look great move it now you're just pushing hey girls bit of an emergency here Teddy I need you Kathleen is stand shoulder Tosh shoulder it's okay for your shoulders touch and rub stain remover on this towel hurry okay it's a little cramped in here so Helen and Mom can you guys leave no how about we don't worry
about a towel right now yeah I don't even wash that towel ever that's not a pattern that's just stains may I remind all the children that whoever finds this special item we're looking for will get 50 bucks oh yeah we're looking like crazy for that thing we're just um this towel situation came out of nowhere oh really speaking of rewards I feel like you'd get that special item way faster if you doubled It Tina Louise a word you're acting weird what's up with this towel crap Girls Talk we're not
hiding anything mom you're hiding anything and we haven't found anything either so that's set settled you found the nuts dooodle didn't you what as if Louise am I wrong what's it worth to you Louise what I can't negotiate all right here's the offer tell me where it is and you're both not grounded here's my counter offer you're grounded these are terrible offers both of them where is it Teddy come with me there's a fire in the toilet a dummy pipe of course it's in a dummy pipe I'm a dummy that di
dn't think of that you're not a dummy Teddy you're a smart because you found this all on your own remember and Helen's going to fall in love with you because of it because of who you are inside and stuff like that not how you smell right sure ah let me see it Linda where are you hel crap Alinda where' my looking buddy go you're the one that reaches in all the gross places down in a sec where'd it go there it is this looks totally safe you know if I uh took a step or two I could probably get it n
o Lynn if anyone's gone out there it should be me here I go Cinderella time okay be careful Teddy try try to be light yeah I I've got to be really Teddy are you all right yeah I could easily hold on for another minute or less Teddy are you up there I am are you okay sort of well uh yeah see he found the net Slinky and then he uh he found the net SK I'll be right up oh now I see him oh Lordy crap crap crap crap we cleaned up the water we screwed the faucet back on no not all of it not all the way
I mean hopefully a real plumber will come and fix everything yeah but he won't have a hot little Sun working with him like you do Bob come here what the hell what happened I want to talk about it should we call the fire department sure if they can come in the next 20 seconds cuz my hands are starting to slip can we get the elevator back to his feet and how do we do it it's broken you got to do it manually there's a lever on the roof it's a break for the counterweight if you release it the eleva
tor should go up okay Teddy I'm going to the roof the father and Hudson fing team is going to the roof so uh where's the next G now Helen hi hi teddy I found that thing that you want yes I know thank you very very much where is it I kind of lost track of it last time I saw it was on the roof of the elevator there it is whoa are you there yeah we we found the pulley and stuff great and it doesn't look complicated at all do you know which one was supposed to pull or push I have no idea dad just gu
ess the right one okay okay uh did that work no did that work no this is our process hang on Teddy okay trying another one it's working wait wait wait stop stop okay stopping why what's going on if the elevator keeps going up my net skate could fall off and break but if the elevator doesn't go up then Teddy will fall probably I have no feelings left in my hands but there's a chance he might not fall and that's just a risk we'll have to take what are you serious don't say it like that he'll be fi
ne maybe oh my God Helen's horrible yeah she is I don't know if I can hold that much longer okay I'm pushing it again no yes push it gotcha oh boy oh boy I'm SLI down are you okay I I am okay woohoo we did it we saved Teddy and fixed the faucet we we didn't fix the faucet I get a little close to the ceiling Bob want to push that lever back the other way sorry sorry sorry do Teddy get in here cool glad you're okay Teddy that's good well got to go you guys you know maybe to an auction house maybe
not who knows how late they're even open whoa Whata wa what that's it what about the reward well here's the problem no cash oh my God ooh onl gift card check your email bye oh my next G yeah that's the loose board just a little crack it's okay it's a son of a [ __ ] that broke stupid cat stupid snails stupid dead Larry keep in touch so Larry had a secret apartment uh seems healthy Teddy I'm so sorry I almost got you killed getting the Naps to back I was on a crazy matchmaking High net SK yeah th
at's what I'm saying net cafe perfect that's good I'm sorry too Teddy if I hadn't rehidden that thing you never would have been in that Elevator Shaft I forgive you guys you were thinking of my best interest kind of maybe you know I thought looking for the thingy was a fairy tale and Teddy was supposed to end up with the Young Rich princess but maybe not maybe he's supposed to end up with a nice princess in sweatpants wait what's going on sh Kathleen didn't you have a wobbly cabinet door in your
kitchen yeah they're all wobbly want Teddy to handyman it up oh yeah Teddy you want to take a look at that I don't know I can't move my fingers very well uh is that water coming in under the door on it you it's all I want to you makeing fun all right it's all I want to do you makeing it's all I want to do youing fun it's all I to do no I love the flea market you never know what you're going to find hopefully not fleas you kids looking for anything in particular knives a really loud musical inst
rument would be nice hatchets maybe something of the plastic horse variety nunchucks what about you Bob well I'll be looking for old cast iron pants to use as a weapon for cooking but as a weapon I guess if it came to it look if you had to fend off a Hamburglar maybe just be careful D thank you Tina okay kids here's a couple of bucks each go nuts or buy some nuts other people's use nuts hey girl L is it dangerous to eat a tangerine with a carrot they're both Orange it's fine I've done it many a
time okay bye that was Gale did she want to know if it was okay to combine something with some something else yeah orange foods it's okay right what are all these small pictures of baseball players they don't look that athletic but they are holding bats is this guy smoking oh yeah oh look at that sweater oh look at that rug oh look at the painting Sunset is it a good painting Bob I can't tell me neither how do you tell if a painting is good I don't know shapes Glenn I just don't know if we need
a steamer trunk full of old TV guys oh my God the wheelie freaking Mammoth Bob it's the wheelie freaking Mammoth I know it found us how did it find us why did it find us we got rid of it are we cursed it's not our fault the kids completely stopped playing with us it was way too big for our apartment way too [Music] big and it's not like we planned on getting rid of our kids huge toy it just happened yeah the truck was just it was there and the kids were at school they didn't play with it anymore
and we thought they would just kind of forget about it we were sure they'd forget but then they didn't oh hey Mom Dad have you guys seen the wheelie Mammoth anywhere we want to jump off the fire escape and land on them um first of all don't jump off the fire escape isn't that what fire escapes are for that's what fire escapes are for Dad yeah it's safe uh no secondly uh we thought you guys didn't really play with Willie Mammoth anymore so um we donated it you what you got rid of the six beler u
h yeah here months ago and uh you're only noticing now I might add how could you is your heart made of stone well we donated it to a a special place that'll make you guys not mad at us um somewhere Willie could live a better life to uh roller rake uh yeah cuz it's got wheels the roller rink in town uh no no a different town still kind of mad here people trying not to lose my cool why would you do that uh cuz these aren't just uh regular kids they're orphans y they're orphans yep sad little orpha
ns with soot covered faces and the only joy in their lives is getting out on the rink with that Mammoth yeah and we've been wanting to tell you guys but we were waiting for uh signed thank you card from all the orphans I don't know what's taking them so long uh maybe they're busy with orphan stuff scrubbing floors and stairs hiding in laundry baskets singing about tomorrow huh and you guys are for real right now promise absolutely well I guess Willie is probably having a better life at that rink
than it was here and doing more good it tripped me a lot like a lot if you'll excuse me I'm going to my room to write a tribute song about wheelie I'm thinking of calling it rolling down the river if that's not taken or dream on if it is and now the bastard's here I'm freaking out what do we do do do we tell the kids the truth about how we didn't tell them the truth before are you nuts they never look at us the same way again it'll be all right my parents lied to me and Gail all the time uhhuh
but Gail turned out to be Gail we cannot let the kids see this okay let's think what what are our options besides telling the truth oh yeah besides that this Palamino is now a palomino hey guys I'm going to go show Mom and Dad my new horse and probably say that Palamino Palomino thing again to them yeah you definitely should you're going to love my room it smells pretty okay most of the time you're used to a barn so you should be fine with it okay the kids haven't seen it so we're fine we just n
eed to gather them up go home before they all make got this CA oh crap oh crap oh crap you are my main man there's more where that came from no no no she's going to see the wiie mammoth oh my baby look how big you get in huh but mama can still carry you look at me go look at me spin very impressive mom but can you put me down wasn't that fun uh yep hey did I hear you and Dad scream a second ago oh hey I just came over here to to see you oh maybe you heard us some y because we were shocked at the
price of an old CD $3 for music no thank you Dave Matthews is what we said loudly oh hey do you like this horse I got this Palamino is now a Palamino great great great hey let's find your brother and sister yeah let's go this way come on Tina hey kids I know we haven't been here long but uh what do you say we get on home huh are you serious yeah did you know all this stuff is used it's gross we should leave now without that far exit is that even where we came in let's say it is but I spent neit
her of my $2 I've only spent $150 and got the greatest thing in the world cuz this Palamino is uh let's go talk about it in the car right come on let's go let's go Mom what's going on you guys are acting weirder than usual we came all this way for dumb stuff and we barely looked at anything dumb yeah I got my eyes on a rusty screwdriver and some of those baseball guys but I don't know what else is out there I've still got 50 cents and 50 cents at the flea market is like $1,000 at an inside store
uh oh Louise switch blades look stabby stabby yes please yeah go play with the knives kids okay they're not going along with the leaveing plan so we got to sneak over and buy the wheelie Mammoth ditch it here someplace where the kids can't see it and then we're in the clear seriously you got a better idea no so I'll keep the kids busy you go and take care of the wiie mammoth kich got it I need to hear you say kich why just say it fine capiche there you go hey uh that big uh stuffed animal looks
sort of interesting I I guess um what are you asking for it100 $100 I I mean uh 100 huh yeah it's pretty special big Majestic creature wearing those roller skates imagine a time when these things used to roam the land man I'm hardly interested in it at all I'm over here looking at this uh Remains of the Day poster I'm I'm a huge Anthony Hopkins fan or ahop as I call him I've been wondering if my room has the right amount of swords in it cuz right now it's at zero and I feel like that's low uh m
aybe we should stay in the pocket knife family does it seem like Mom and Dad are acting weird to you ooh you think someone's going to propose hello ly did you know you could wear a turtleneck as pants I don't have time for this right now Gil he just need a safety pin for the middle mom's on the phone mom's off the phone Mom and Dad are whispering to each other mom's picking people up and carrying them around some of us lucky do you think maybe Mom and Dad came to the flea market to do something
weird like this is a cover like spy stuff or drug stuff are they drug spies oh my God Mom and Dad are drug spies that's hot you think Mom and Dad are flea market drug spies it just makes sense mom's the brains dad's the body no it's way too cool for them but something is up look at her on that phone all secret like oh yeah I got to go now pop talk to me it's so expensive Lynn she wants $100 you want me to come over there and negotiate cuz I'm a much better negotiator than you that's not true we'
re both bad wow I'm less bad look I got to go make it happen I love you I love you too you're worse than negotiating well that was a normal conversation hi kids so normal of you to say that hi again I'd like to formally offer you uh $10 in cash for the stuffed animal and I'm sorry to say this offer is time sensitive because I have to fly to a business meeting you're really good at this oh I guess I can do 90 look I'm not flying to a business meeting you're not no and I don't have a lot of money
we own a restaurant that not many people eat at but I could give you free burgers in that if you eat burgers are they good burgers I mean I I I do try really hard tell you what how about you give me 10 bucks now and uh 30 free burgers down the road wait 30 burgers is way more than $90 ah yes and no you own a restaurant you understand hard cost versus soft cost I don't actually fixed costs versus variable costs M don't recognize those words trust me this works for both of us slightly more for me
but you're getting a great deal if you think about it an accordion is just burping with notes sounds so good sweetie okay you keep looking around in this area and don't go to a different area sure how it go I got it you did you made the deal please tell me you didn't pay $100 Bob all right enough of this let's go listen in on that sneaky pants okay I really don't know how much I paid for it there's really no way to know but I've got it and now I've got to get rid of it um do the kids suspect any
thing I think we're good as far as they know that Mammoth is still rolling on that rink up to his button orphans that Mammoth did she just say that Mammoth as in wheelie Mammoth I think she did so they didn't donate wheelie to the orphans at the roller rink our parents are lying Liars how do they sleep at night lying down on their lies I knew there was something fishy about that donation stuff I just couldn't put my finger on what it was about that orphan roller rink story that didn't add up I t
hink Mom and Dad need to be punished within the maximum recommended sentence of the law sword worse we mess with [Music] them oh I wear a kimono all the time time there are pockets in the sleeves I can put chicken wings in here dip in here mhm oh hey guys there you are you're pretty sweaty oh yeah someone was um selling a treadmill so I think I've seen enough dumb stuff should we get going um sure yeah yeah yeah I could go home now I suppose goodbye kimono wait for me don't sell it to Steven Tyl
er except I actually don't feel like going home just yet do you guys no I don't feel like going home you don't we don't I just bought this little guy and I thought to myself you know who would app appreciate this more than me who the orphans at that roller rink where you guys donated the wheelie Mammoth okay so I would like to go there and we can also say hi to our old pal wheelie that is where he is right yeah of course that's where he is Sy he so there good well I hope he's not too busy helpin
g orphans learn to skate to say hi so shall we go to that roller rink right now I don't see why not uh yeah we could do that uh-huh yep great I love going to places where things are it's the best crap okay so not ideal yeah Louise clearly knows nahh she only thinks she knows because she doesn't know she knows because she doesn't know you know right also that was a really dumb lie we made up now it sounded good at the time I always wanted to help orphans can't we just tell them the truth no never
what we got to do is turn this lie into a truth and it's not a lie anymore that doesn't sound right how about this you drive the kids to that roller rink in bog Harbor you know the when I Route 16 but drive very slowly to whe mammoth in I get a ride with Gail Gail yeah she's got a car she can take a break from eating tangerines and carrots we'll beat you guys there get everything in place and we'll get out okay where you hide the thing by a tree over there oh god with a note you better hurry al
so this is the worst plan great plan so mom's staying to go to the bathroom with the Porta putty because she likes it she loves it and we're not waiting for her no way I mean this is her special time so we'll swing by after we're done at the rink and see if she's finished this all makes sense dad just a couple more questions about oh my God I love this song I want to sing we should all sing let's talk about sex baby let's talk about you and me gil over here Gil I came as fast as I could I didn't
even change look turtle pants so Dad when you donated will to the roller ring did they give you a receipt you know something for your records I'd love to see it sometime or would you rather discuss the orphans and their therapeutic roller skating uh who wants ice cream yay y d you got to step on it but I'll tell you what if you get a ticket I'll pay for it you will that's fine I like going fast should I keep my eyes open yes keep your eyes open I can't believe you let us get a second cone the l
ine was so long but you just wanted to get right back in there and then you wanted to taste every flavor and then you counted out your money so carefully it's almost like you're not in a hurry to get to the roller rink what come on oh boy what do you mean oh boy oh boy um look at those trees up to the right they look just like the trees in that movie I mean I guess what movie am I thinking of you're going to think of it before I do but keep looking that way keep looking at the trees and tell me
what movie I'm a no that's not it what is it oh God keep looking go go go hwk around back HK around back okay okay manager manager is there a manager here manager I'm the manager is everything okay oo who's this big furry fella listen my husband and kids are going to be here any minute and I need you to pretend like this huge wheelie Mammoth has been here for months because we donated it to you and it helps the orphin learn to skate and my husband and I are great parents okay sure no problem rea
lly you do that yeah I've been stuck in a lie with my kids before I told them if you swallow gum it stays in your stomach for 7 years I had to get a radiologist to make a fake x-ray of a kid with a lot of gum in their stomach great so you get it okay so can you just kind of put it out there on the rink and tell these kids they can push it around to something and if they could shout this thing is really teaching me how to skate that would be great I don't see why not and uh maybe rub some suit on
the kids faces too far too far never mind never mind I thank you so much oh and I wasn't here or her it's going to be hard to forget this but you do it well here we are I'm sure we'll see the wheelie Mammoth any minute now I'm uh sure we we will huh and there's wheelie Mammoth I mean uh there he is uh obviously would you look at that huh hi you need to rent skates no uh no we uh just came to see that willly Mammoth oh yes thank you so much for donating him really my mom and dad really did donat
e him here they sure did and are the orphans enjoying him the orphans just adore him oh my God Willie really is teaching kids how to skatee barely I mean it's not a big deal if you think about it sometimes parents got to tell little fibs to their little kids cuz they're too little to hear the truth you know uhhuh do you think my car likes me it's like Mom and Dad dad and your Immortal goldfish like how they would replace your goldfish every time it died what I mean uh nothing Let's uh talk about
your car liking you I think it does my beloved goldfish lived 18 years with me before getting sent to the National Aquarium to be studied and to relax uh right yeah no no I know forget I said anything are you telling me mom and dad lied to me are you telling me goldilicious isn't Immortal and doesn't see the birthday cords I send her every year what no no come come on I cannot believe this GA Gail where are you going I will not let you pull a Gold Delicious on your kids scill no oh come on oh o
h my but oh my but you're a hero and you're a family of Heroes Keep It Up well I'll be how about that Dad I don't know what to say we didn't think you and Mom were telling the truth sorry no no no no no no hey ankal what are you doing here Lind to you faces we took the wheelie Mammoth here today from the flea market and I drove over 90 m per hour with my eyes open ha I knew it well I take back that sorry is that true dad uh who wants ice cream me Jean I mean I'm so mad at you right now I could e
at ice cream or ribs feels weird to say this but ant G keep talking tell us everything okay there I was tell listen to Gail she's just pranking you it's it's a fun prank oh really Mom then why are you here are you part of the prank yeah yeah I ran into Gail at the Porta partty at the flea market and we decided to come here and prank you guys a that funny so your prank is for Aunt Gil to show up and tell us you lied to us yeah I don't know what to believe how dare you you're just like Mom and Dad
you're a liar and you're married and you had kids L maybe we just you know what you know you you mean keep having fun with this really great prank that's going really well I am so disappointed in you were those even movie trees Dad we will discuss your punishment when we get home there will be spanking on both cheeks you tell them kids no fine I'm sorry it all happened so fast over several months and several hours today and it was mostly a mom's idea thanks Bob seriously though I am sorry too I
was happy to see it go but I guess as a dad I should have known it's wrong to steal toys from children most of the time it's not Ste feeling if it's at the park and you give it to your cat right uh we'll go get the mammoth try to all fit in the apartment with it I guess hey oh you guys still here you want to rent skates uh sorry uh we just have to get the mammoth and bring it home oh uh that's not going to work for me what do you mean we did the big lie and we made the LIE real and it's great t
his thing's our mascot now I already updated the website you did yeah check it out oh it looks good oh I like that Design This is a game changer in the rink business you got to break like this once in a lifetime I mean that thing probably costs a fortune probably but you know S cost never mind listen our kids are really mad at us and the only way to try to make it right is to take this home what about the orphans they're not orphans we made that up I bet at least a couple of them are this magica
l guy is staying right here please sir um don't don't do this so much of my life I let slip through my fingers not this time we need this Mammoth Linda keep pulling he's got no traction he's on Wheels offense attack please I think you need to day off for something we can take this guy we can take him I'm going to buy him don't bite me hey we're whipping him around keep whipping Bob keep whipping hey hey hey stop stop look we've had a little talk we want to leave wheelie here huh you do we want t
o make the LIE real we don't like how it got here but it seems like the right home for him he'll be happy here lots of space Good Vibes cool jams and he's a sucker for a disco ball I mean who is it uh I'm not it's a bunch of broken glass spinning around terrifying it could kill us all kids that's so nice of you so mature yeah I'm impressed you know we thought you wouldn't be able to handle having to give away a huge stuffed animal that didn't fit in any room but we should have been honest with y
ou and trusted that you could handle it we got more handles than a grocery bag baby so I'm going to let go with this and no one's going to take it no one's going to bite me oh yeah sorry I said I was going to bite you I wasn't going to do that I've never bitten anybody that's a lie we call her piranha mama she bit a guy at the grocery store we're still not allowed to go to that one well I'm not you are hey one last skate with wheelie before we go I'm not good at this at all I'm usually So Gracef
ul I I think this is how I die I can only go backwards tell me if there's anyone there tell me if there's anyone there oh I I don't want wheelie to remember us this way listen if you ever want to bust out of here no questions asked you call me okay and hey keep it wheel yeah you just slip them on you can pee right through the neck hole it's so convenient with and gr that blow your mind wi m ming and Roll All Around the [Music] floor foreign spee fore [Music] foree for foreign spe speech foreign
speech fore spe don't know watch
Comments
Linda's Xmas spirit is so interesting. She's crazy funny 😂
Does anyone else’s screen randomly zoom in
That massive, horrible painting...omg.
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