Burrow's End but its my Fave Family Moments just 'cause

"I just want to say, very quickly, it is the joy and honor of my life to call myself a member of your family. We have to do this, because if we fail, this will be the Burrow's End." And I'm gonna cast Motivational Speech He said the name of the thing. (Everyone overlapping): He said, he said the name. That's a pro, that's a pro, folks. THIS IS SO FUCKING COOL! Let's fucking go, kick some ass, babies! - "Do you know Meatwolf?!?!" - "Bennett, I'm sure you have a partner - Do you?" - "And then - I'

m sure you do -" - Just dismisses that - "This is so embarrassing" - "He's single!!!" "Have you ev..." "Have I had a real conversation with Mom?" "No." "--better than them, though, don't tell your other cousins" "Grandma, you can't pit us against each other while we're all here." "Hmm?" "Sure! It's a three person cult, including the leader." "Organization, sorry! You know, a religion. What do you - how do you define it?" "Group?" "....Yeah, a collective or a...." "A merry band!" "Uh, hey, Jaysoh

n! I think I just saw a - What's that over there?" "OH A LEAF!" "THORN!!!!!!!!!" "My wife!" Yikes This is - this reaction you're having, is toxic. He ain't right. My husband is having a what? Feeling? I don't think so. - Tighten up, bro, come on - Tighten up bro! Bruh! You're leaking bro! Suck it back up! Suck it back up, dude! That's the Rashawn show, baby. "I don't know what to call them." 'GRANDMA'S RIGHT WE HAVE TO BUILD A GIANT BEAR" I'm on this thing The wolf's like, "I don't know how to e

volve past this.." (Aabria): How'd you do bud? - A four "Phoebe could've killed Dad." (Brennan/Tula): "I think that the wisest choice thing to do, is to remember in our hearts that these are other thinking and feeling animals, and that we should track down and murder Phoebe." "If someone mentions that Dr. Wenabocker is like walking or out, we could sprint there, and rip him open, and find Phoebe." "You've got a look in your eyes that I haven't seen before." "No, no, no, no, no, it's good." "Dr.

Wenabocker is a nasty corpse puppet, and he has an evil immortal stoat living in him, and we gotta get it out and kill her dead." (Brennan/Tula): "--and then they bring us right to her... ..and then we jump out.....and we bite her throat out." "Oh, Mommy has so much bloodlust!" Oh, it's the story!! I've found a book called Exposition!! "...loves eating pillbugs..." "Mama...Mama, please...Mama..." "Do you want to sleep longer, or do you want come with me to get breakfast?" 14!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!! (assorted screaming) There's no way to come back from that... I genuinely was like, about to start crying This is bad guys, this is really bad ~this is maybe one of those that's unwinnable on purpose~ "Did someone lose an old woman?!" "It's like a wolf's in the front, but like a, like a, like a..." - "Pig?" - "No, no, no--" - "Deer?" - "Beaver?" - "Turtle?" That's all the animals "Fish" A horrifying mom sense of, "oh my young son is being attracted to a fascist." (cackles) "Human." - "What

's that?" - "What's that?" (Aabria): You call your mom, "babe"? I don't understand white people "That's your mother." "Yeah did - what did she do?" "-forget the sound of mind and body part, Sybil's walking you through basic, uh--" Sound mind? "When she was younger, your mother went around to a QUIIIIITE a lot of burrows, if you know what I mean." "GRANDMA." Oh, she's a ho! "This is now, a...Stoatocracy." "Wait, no, now you crying is making me cry--" "This is a mistaaaake." "It's all been so bad!

" - "Jasper's right..." - ....Jasper. Look, if you didn't want me to fuck it up, you wouldn't have had such a whimsical, Redwall - ass name! "You lead with Mama, I'm not doing that." "Oh, she's a teddy bear!" "NO, she is not, she's a teddy bear with huge claws." "Terrifying, huge claws. Nothing scares me more than your mother." "The lesson is this: Everything new is bad." "-is dead, and like give it a moment of, 'you fought a good fight...I guess'." - (Exaggerated Italian accent) let me get a ta

ste! - (Exaggerated Italian accent) and then we can talk about democracy! (Brennan): By the way, I am fully trying to throw Lukas under the bus. - (Aabria): Yeah, 100 percent. - Lukas can catch whatever fucking consequences he needs to, Tough fucking tiddies, Lukas. (Jasper/Thorn): "What is that..?" "Why?" "Oh, was that incorrect?" "Guuuuuurl..." "Must be nice." "Oh, like Grandma's dickbone?" "Huh?" - "Grandma's dickbone." - "Like my raccoon dick, dear." "That's---" - "The story of how she got i

t--" - "I don't want to know! I don't wanna know!" "It's a really good story, that's my favorite one. The raccoon survived." "OH NO! Jaysohn - and he's just got no...bone?" "Mom, pleaseeeeee." "Please can I kill a rabbit, pleaseeee" "Good morning, Thorn." "Grandma, these stoats have an entire culture, we don't need to correct the mistakes they're making within minutes--" - "But we have our own culture!" - "I understand, but--" "Our culture is great!" "Giving notes on a concept you JUST got a mom

ent ago - " "Well, I don't know what 'read' is but I'm pretty sure I'm not gonna cotton on to it, no." "Huh, interesting." "Me neither, Grandma!" Just catch a bunch of snot. (various groans of disgust) " - about to hatch!" (Aabria): Hey, really quick, I love this energy - absofuckinglutely not. "You're gonna show me some respect, and you're gonna show her some respect, and if you tell your brother to shut up, then you're cut out of the will!" "Ava, think about it this way - think of all the pass

ive aggressive things you could say to your daughters even after you're gone." "What. Is. Wrong. With. You." I'd like to make an insight check opposed by Thorn's deception. " - and we ripped a bunch of them out!" (Izzy/Lila): "And I ripped one of their faces off 'cause they tried to kill my brother and my mom--" (Siobhan/Jaysohn): "WAITWAITWAITWAITWAIT "And then my mom ate the heart and then my brother--" "No, no, no, you have to show her the mask, you have to show her the mask!" "OH I - AUNTIE

AUNTIE AUNTIE AUNTIE CAN I HAVE MY MASK BACK" "....Sure....here..." "There's no secrets here, everyone's pretty open and honest--" "Are you guys gonna kill humans?" "Yes." (In unison) "Cool." "Disease in the warren? Then they're not gonna want us because we're sick. We're not sick." "Well..." - (Brennan/Tula): "Great point." - "Really good point, Jaysohn, that's fantastic." "Actually, we can talk about the toxic smoke, we can't talk about anything else." Ava, what are you doing in this moment? I

t always pays to follow the neurodivergent child. I just vertically leap into the air. I JUMP NORMALLY! "Perhaps there should be some sort of, programs that you can implement! You know, where, everybody is given a little taste of that kind of, ornamentation, it should be - everyone can contribute to it. I think there should be a lot of support for the arts, in a government, in a good government." Make a.... You said, 'what's a parade?' yesterday. Well, I guess she looks to her mother for any sor

t of.. "Mama, I'm scared" "Well...that's perfectly normal." "Great advice. Good talking to you, Mama." All of you, except Ava who refuses to know things. "A gossip, what a gossip, "But Beatrix is dead, so." Baby fever takes ahold of you, and ravages you. Disadvantage, so that's a ten. God, they're so fucking cute, how could you deny them anything? "It seems so pretentious..." Ten! I live to be illiterate another day! "What's it telling you to do?" "Don't tell her about killing the monsters, she'

s not gonna want to hear it." (Aabria/I think Sybil idr tbh): "I can hear you say that, so I know she knows that now." *hisses* "Did you kill my dad?" Oof, okay. WHAT FANNY PACK? WHAT FANNY PACK, VIOLA? YOU JUST MET CLOTHES! "My daughter, Viola, and her husband, Thorn, would really very much like to meet with you and the other First Stoats." - Yes! - "Many questions to ask, and I'm sure the three of you could collaborate on something very exciting." "Grandma, can you - can you teach me how you k

illed that rabbit? Can you teach me how to do that?" "Yes. Yes, I can." "I've never been so proud." "Best Grandma in the world." She looks up, looks around - "Down here." "Can we all agree that whatever Auntie Viola thinks is the right thing to do, that we're all gonna agree to go do that, okay?" "Before I make my decision I feel like you--" "You're going to be a good father." (Izzy): Unfortunately, Viola found herself with as many stoats as she's ever seen before, and they are communists. "Can

you do a forward roll, Simon?" "...Yes? Can you?" "Yeah. So, we're good." SO WE'RE GOOD! "Do it. Do a forward roll." I don't understand why I'm being grilled by a fellow forward roller! "What kind of creams, do you--?" Cream?? (Camp) Hey girl hey! What creams do you use? "That's my wife. That's my wife." "Did you ask her questions?" (In unison) "No/Yes." Why are you hanging out with these monsters?! *mimics gunshots* "I'm not a baby! I can kill my own rabbits!" "So, why don't you join Resource A

llocation?" "Exactly!....No." "So you've..." "....killed...you've decapitated the leadership... ..of this whole thing." "*chuckles*...yes." "So like, what else could you possibly teach me?" After all that! (Aabria): Next up is Tula. This is so bad! Well, shit! "And I know I'm a lil guy! And I'll listen to what you say! But if you come for me, you best not miss!" "Oliver...." A last little bit of eye contact from Teedles - Takes off. "Just try it, just try some, it's completely normal." "No, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no," Are you okay? NO! "...as long as we've had Last Bastion!" Thank God you are not here! The urge to not meta game is fucking crazy, I'm playing a stoat who's gotta be like, "oooohhh" and Brennan's like GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE! GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE! "You are like Dad. You're both-" "Both of you are too much like your father." I give you a kiss on the forehead. "You're my best friend." "Well.." "Speaking of your Bob (Mom).." "Are you making fun of my voice?" - "Yes."

- "Okay!" "Did you hear that girls?? I could live for another fifteen winters!" And at this point, she's now moved to verticality and is running up - *starts screaming* "NO I LOVE YOU I WANT YOU TO LIVE FOR AS MANY WINTERS AS POSSIBLE" *continues screaming* - I open my fannypack and pull out - - ETERNAL GRANDMA, YES YES GOOD "Was that, uh, Meredith...giving you shit?" "She was.." and because I don't know how people can hear us or not, I'll be like, "You know what? I thought she was, just as lov

ely as could be." - "Bless her heart." - "Bless her heart." Using my mom, my new mom voice. You always want to hint at mom voice, you wanna be like, mom voice is right around the corner! I really don't want to have to - No, they're fucking. Finally some action on this god damn show! "Uncle Thorn, can we try that again when we're safe, but we do it as a trick?" "Jaysohn -" "Because it was really cool-" "Jaysohn, with all the love in the world, if I see you jump off one more fucking thing, I'LL ki

ll you." I think I hear him threaten my child, and I go "....finally." Can I do a deception check so that my mum doesn't see that I got hurt? - YES! - Would LOVE to roll insight on this. - With advantage - Oh, with advantage? No, I don't want to give you advantage, this is funnier. I got a ten. Okay, on a four, I got a fourteen. "Jaysohn, did you hurt yourself with the lightning gun?" My hair is sticking straight up. "No." One ear is like, twitch twitch, bleed. "It's been like this the whole day

." "So, it doesn't shock you? So if I hold it, it won't shock me? Can I hold it? Can I see the lightning gun?" "Yeah." "Oh thank you, wonderful." SMASH SMASH SMASH! Nat 20. Lets gooooo That's my wife! "You haven't experienced much death in your life, then you are very lucky-" - "OH, we've have!" - (Siobhan/Jaysohn): "Oh my goodness, let me tell you!" "Our whole house died!" "Our Grandpa? He is dead!" "And our Dad? (In unison) He's dead!" "And then there was a guy who was trying to be our second

dad, and he's (in unison) dead!) "Our Auntie Beatrix! She's (in unison) dead!) "All of our Uncle Thorne's friends except for two of them, they're the ones with the mint, they're all dead!" "The bear, dead!" "Bear dead!" "All the chipmunks inside the bear, (in unison) dead!" "Because we killed those." "Yeah." "Yeah" ~He had it coming, he had it coming, he only had himself to blame! Huge theater kid energy here "You wanna be licked by my mother?" "I thought you'd never ask!" "You've done it now!"

"Wow." "What the fuck is wrong with you?" "Hey Mom? Are you okay?" I'm having a Frito Fritos: The everytime snack! TWENTY! THATS! MY! WIIIIIFE! This is a guy who just found out that everybody around him let him be a cult leader, because he really really wanted to do it. We just think he's so sweet "Your breath smells so bad!" "Shut up!" "Don't tell your sister to shut up." "Let's go--" "We need it..." "NOOOO, we don't! "The guy who had it, I killed in a second!" "We don't need it, and in fact, I

'd love some examples of ANY TIME curiosity has helped this family! "A five, four, three, a two, a one!" "Let's solve the puzzle, and leave forever~~~!" "Don't be suspicious! We have to find this fucking reactor!" *singing the Don't Be Suspicious gag from Parks and Rec* "But listen, if we're lucky, the memory will-" --Does soften towards you. Because she's hot. Because she's hot as fuck. You gotta say that louder. We all know it, you just gotta remind the audience. It's because the stoat lady is

banging. - Is hot as shit. Smokin'. The sexiest, stoat-vampire-type-- Mom-thicc, undead, stoat-- Babies came out of there? Hacchi macchi. Everyone relax, Mama keeps tight but we dont gotta talk about that right now Look at this butt! She's had this butt since she was a child, look at that thing, golly! "--protect the young ones, here." Make a persuasion check. "OR ELSE!" Make an intimidation check. "I do really like you, we all really like you, I think my mom wants to hook up with you--" "LILA

! LILA!" "-and we were just really really scared, and we think they were really bad-" "Please, please stop talking." "Yes, well, I've seen what 'smart' and 'read' and 'pre-read' and 'post-read' can do-" (In unison) Post-read? "It's a hat!" "It's a hat!" "Lila.." (Aabria) Give me an arcana check. It's a magical hat! Is it a magical hat? I don't know. "Can you do an impression of me?" "Can you do an impression of me?" (Aabria): FUCK "What if I'm not good at it, I mean, these guys are wild." "What

if I have more than you?" "Well, they're fine." "Look at this one." "He's blessed with a lot of energy, and as he grows, he's going to learn to control it, "and he's gonna be a really capable hunter." *growling* "He's a very bright young boy." "You have made me not regret that you married my daughter." "I will absolutely take that." What does it look like as Tula activates this ability? "Jaysohn's right here!" "Thank you, sweetie." Lair action. Oh, that's okay. Huh? That's okay, you don't have t

o. - I don't have to? That threw me off, so fucking much The authority of, whatever that was, made me be like Aabria, Jasper says no. Yeah! Like oh, tell him I'm so sorry - It's the accent! Do you think the kids would be freaked out if they had a cousin named Geoffrey? Three. Bro. We are trying to tell a story here. You're making us look bad in front of my family. Hey, listen, we're gonna have a chat, okay? I put a lot of faith in you brother, c'mon "Teedles." "What? This has my name on it?" "I

just learned to read!" What's your armor class? 19 21 "AAAH MY DICK!" "AAAAOOWWWW GAAAAHH!" "If I were, let's say I wanted to ask Jaysohn or Lila for some behavior, if I - " "So you tie Jaysohn to a chair-" "Yeah, but I don't do that." "How are you going to catch him otherwise? He'll just run away." "No, he - I mean - " "I've seen him run away from you, so many times." "Yeah, but you shouldn't focus on the always running away part, you should focus on the always coming back part." "Right, okay.

So we train the human to always come back." "You're operating from a place of a love of control, that is... "not how life, I think, works. Respect, for you - " "That's okay, I still have my scent, and my memory, and my sense of touch, and my memory." --to get out of the way. I just go: --was wrested away from a family of rabbits. Rabbits tunnel. You consume. "Ah, yes, the Curtises." The Curtises?!?! You gave them a name. - You gave them names as you were eating them? Hare Curtis, what a man. "J

aysohn, I get it, please." "Hey, listen. I've got a really special, super cool task just for you." "I'm listening." "Nothing will ever let me be alone with my thoughts, you don't scare me!" "There's a religious crazy in every family, and you know, what not let it be..." "You're not calling him a fanatic, are you, Mama?" "No, I said religious crazy!" I poke my head down, like, "LOOK!" You were standing on the roof? Oh, my god. Yeah. No, I thought he was on the dashboard. No, I was on the roof. -

Oh. Thank you. I'm sure Quentin loves that idea, reminder that Quentin, while way nicer than the First Stoats, still a little bit of a fascist. I'll be in between Sybil and Jaysohn - Aww, it's like our little young squad No, I want to be next to Sybil! "Sorry~~! Hi Sibyl!" - "I want to be next to Sibyl! I WANT TO BE NEXT TO SYBIL!" "You did a good job, high five." "You're cheating! I'm, I made it easy for you!" "There's no game. I'm not cheating if there's no game." "Stop showing off to Sybil! S

top showing off to her! I..." "He'll do just about anything I say." "That's gotta be great." "'cause he eats rocks when I tell him to." "He eats rocks? Don't tell your brother to eat rocks." "They actually taste pretty good, I actually really like them." "Well, don't eat rocks, but other than that-" "Jaysohn you look at me! "You jump off another thing while I am around, and I swear - Emotional damage!" - "Yes, Grandma" - "Don't threaten Jaysohn with emotional damage." You know Sybil. - "We know

Sybil." "And the guy who wants to fuck our mom." "Whoa." "He wants to be our second dad." "Where did you learn that?" "From Grandma." "Of course." Ugh. You never let me have fun. What are you talking about? You killed my grandma and then brought her back to life! This wolf - - is terrifying! - I brought her back! I brought her back, she's very cool Look at how small my sister is! (Aabria): You wanted to be kids, this doesn't feel like my problem. Can I do an intelligence check to see if I can in

vent democracy in this moment? Yes. "--get in trouble." "No, no, no, it's fine. Hey look, we 'll make this a safe space, say what you need to say." (Aabria): Deception check. - Yep. (Aabria): --happened long ago. To Tula. And that's where we're going to end tonight's episode Why are you such a secretive bitch?? "We were inside the bear, so." "What?" "Yep." "I looked up to Dad." "But Dad made your life really bad." "We're in charge now, y'all." "Auntie V you look so good. Are you dead?" That's a

n eleven. Damn! Talk to your dice. "I'm hungry." "Eat the building." "Are you telling me to eat a rock? That's not gonna work, again." Goodbye. (Aabria): So, in an interesting turn of events, Brennan has left and the dome is mine. THAT'S TOO FUCKING SCARY! "what's the point of ME?" "Just - shut up!" "You shut up!" "Okay, whoa, what did we say about the S word--" I grapple her. - I grapple you. "Whoa, no no no no no!" Coming in here, he just attacked my pregnant sister? Yes Okay, I'm gonna kill h

im. "Hey, girl, hey~~" (Rashawn): We gotta talk to them don't we?? (Brennan): If that's not advantage... Oh my god. "I'm not dead like my mom is dead, we're dead in very different ways." "What do you do with the stoats whose minds may have, faded, and are kind of losing their... ..Minds. "A little bit. Hi." Since I have everyone's attention. I'd like to announce my candidacy! (All chanting) STOAT PRESIDENT! STOAT PRESIDENT! STOAT PRESIDENT! We're speaking Bulgarian. (In unison) We're all speakin

g stoat! "You husk of a waste of space." And I hack off the arm, and then I climb up the, the shoulder and I chop off at the elbow, and I jump off onto the head, and I slice off the arm, I slice off the other arm, I freaking, debone this mother fucker, and I spatch cock his ass, I lay him out, and I cut his spine down, I push down on his breastplate, he's fucking flattened out, he'll cook in forty minutes! MY SISTER JUST INVENTED COOKING! SHE JUST INVENTED COOKING! "I'm extremely functional!" "A

nd the more you yell it, the more I believe it." "Highly functioning." (In unison) "Mmmhmm mhmm mhmm." "Berry drinker" Intimidation check. - Okay. Sweetie, I don't --Huh? Sorry! Carry on, as you were. --And stylish too. And contacts. "There's two thousand stoats in here." "Add a zero." "What?" "Two thousand zero stoats?" No sign of a human, or anything living in here, nor has there been for some time. "Jaysohn! Do you want ice cream?!" You don't under- There's no - NO. NO. You know what? No! "I

'm sorry I did a cuss." "Oh, you can say all of the swear words that you can, kids, yes, I'm a cool grandma!" "Fuck!" "Shit!" "Shut up!" "Pants!" "Hell!" "Pants?" "I panicked!" (Izzy): Aabria (Aabria): Yeah? (Aabria): This is the dopest shit (Izzy): You're gonna win an Emmy. This is the dopest shit! This is the DOPEST shit! Full circle, bookended, story structure. Shut the fuck up.