hi all it's Susan winter here I have a discussion
today for those of you who want to date you're ready to date you are tuned up you know exactly
what you want there's a little bit of an issue you are in an environment a field a career whatever
it is where you live it does not give you enough of a selection of available partners I'm saying
this because I just came back from a monthlong Asia tour and I met my clients and I worked
with them and some flew into to where we were in Singapore it w
as just it was fabulous and often
times many of these individuals were working for an NGO in a developing country where they had a
very specific kind of job that limited them to a certain location and or the location was very
um expans heavy so people were in transit and they either brought their families in for a few
years or however long they were working in this country and left or they entered their time in
this foreign environment with the mindset of I'm only going to be here a little
while I'm just
going to do my time build my career and I'm not looking for anything serious so whether you're
a guy in college in a very specialized field in a specialized college that has very few women in
your career and your classes and there's nobody else to choose from and you don't even like
what you're seeing and those gals aren't even available or if you're newly divorced living
in the suburbs you don't want to uproot your kids but you're looking at the environment around
you and e
verybody you know and you know why she divorced him you know why he divorced her you
don't want any of those people you know their story it's too incestuous feeling you just you
feel like you need to be Beyond where you are and yet you have constraints how do you handle this
I'm thinking about this because I just recently worked with a lady who lives in a beautiful
Mountain Community I mean it's gorgeous but to get down the mountain into a big city is about
2 and a half three hours so you'r
e talking long distance relationships there's a lot of work going
on here and everybody in her community and back up the mountain though it's a very Posh Place
everybody knows everybody and everybody's been switching Partners she asked me what to do because
many times you may find yourself compromising on exactly what you want or you may find yourself
even trying to compromise on your morals on how you're going to take whatever you can get so let's
figure out some ways that are a little bit
better option one you have to understand that given the
constriction you are going to have to work for expansion I know you're going to have to work
at dating if you are truly truly motivated to date and you want to date quality you are going
to have to find ways to get beyond your limited sample selection and you are going to have to
enlist other people that's number one get people to be the casting directors for you tell your
friends tell your neighbors tell your colleagues tell whomever
tell people in your Facebook
group or your friends on Instagram or whatever tell them that you're looking for somebody tell
them what you want and tell them you'd love to have an introduction that's one two you have to
go online I know I know you hate it we all hate it I know I know I know I know it's like waiting
through garbage I do understand but we all know many people who have met married been together
for years that met online it is just a reality so you're going to have to make peac
e with that
because there's one thing that online does online expands you beyond your current territory and in
doing that you will have a greater opportunity to meet somebody to your liking so this is for
those of you who are truly truly motivated and you understand you're just not going to get it
from the people around you it just isn't possible okay so then put it in your mind that you will
dedicate x amount of time per week to going online and filtering filtering filtering filtering thre
e
if you do so you will have to travel you will have them negotiate you will negotiate what is the
what is the furthest distance that you could handle for a relationship you're going to have
to think about this in advance and be willing to do some leg work you are going to have to
be a little uncomfortable in your expansion process in order to be less uncomfortable in your
limited selection awareness okay another thing is don't forget when you're online it's not just
online dating you can
be checking in with your alumni group do they have travel opportunities
can you even work that into your work schedule what about people with common interests are
there groups whether it's on Facebook or it's on Zoom are there collected groups that have I
don't know um personal development or Business Development or some area that you're you're truly
interested in and would like to contribute or help or learn about in these online groups one of
the great Pleasures is that you can show up in
an ongoing environment that is conducive to chat and
cohesion not something where you've got a speaker and everybody's just listening quietly you want
something that's an Interactive Group so that you can actually interact with the other people that
are on Zoom you can see their faces you can begin to establish a relationship oftentimes people do
this on social media if you have a great social media presence and you love your job and you want
to share it or you are in a country doing work
for example like so many expats in Singapore and you
want to highlight Singapore and start a whole page about that or your career or something you love
you will meet people that way too so when you are faced with constriction and limited selection
you are going to have to be okay in your mind and understand and agree with the fact that you're
going to have to expand and do a little work to compensate for this lack of exposure to the types
of people that you want to date it will be work and
the very last selection of opportunities here
to find people that I'm going to offer you is if the dominant goal in your life right now is to be
partnered and you've had your career you're happy with this success and you really think you've done
what you came to do in this environment or that you are fully invested in Partnership and that
is your number one goal no matter what's going on where you live then you may want to consider
a geographical move now I say this only if the number one p
riority in your life is partnership
and you have tried all these other things that I have mentioned and been unsuccessful and you
know clearly it's not you it's just that you are not meeting the kind of people you want you
don't have access to the aggregate of people that you would like to meet then consider moving but
do your research first where will you be happy where will you flourish and where can you have an
active social life walking into a new community as a single right so these ar
e things to consider
I think major cities are great there are a lot of people I think New York City is excellent it
they say it has a bad rep as far as dating and getting partnered that people come there kind
of with that expat mentality like I'm here for a while to build up my business and then when
I decide I'm going to get married I'm going to decide on a serious relationship I'll take it
someplace else we don't necessarily know that that's true because every day new people keep
coming
into major cities so find a place where you can really Thrive and test it out first take
some trips really Envision yourself living there because you would be making a very major decision
to do so all right you'd be uprooting most of your life so make sure that you never put all your
eggs in one basket just for for partnership make sure that the quality of life and the environment
supports you and that you're really ready and kind of feel like you're ready for a change I hope
this helps you
Susan winter for Susan winter. net what prompted this discussion was my travel
all through Asia and seeing people very dedicated to work in an environment where they had very
little exposure to people that were datable or available for dating and it made me think of the
fact that many of you are single not by choice but single simply because of your environment and
what do we do about that if you need some help in navigating your way through dating and romance
and figuring these things out
please consider a consultation go to Susan winter. net you'll also
find all of my products there if you are having troubles figuring out what they're doing and what
moves they're making check out the dating games guide very nominal fee it's um an app that's
free app on your phone and it draws up every single conversation I've had about players and
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I've had on the topic and goes right to the
very section you want to know about also older women
and younger men does the same thing so I hope that helps you also I have books on Amazon you can
see all of that on Susan winter. net and my merch line that I'm so excited about that I do just for
myself and uh people really like it so sometimes the motivational quotes on a coffee cup when you
have your breakfast in the morning just remind you to stay focused on where the truth wise I hope
this helps you Susan winter for Susan winter. ne
t
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