August 21st 1996 his name is Cecil Stevens yeah
that's him he likes basketball Ninja Turtles Creepy Crawlers and this whole thing is kind
of about him I mean if you don't count the real star Tim it's gross it's unhygienic not
to mention I stepped on one the other day I had to dig it out of my heel with Weezer
Lori maybe if you spent less time worrying about my toenails and more time are you
standing there with the refrigerator door open am I the only one here that cares about
the electrici
ty bill they um how do I put this crazy did you put a toil how does that feel baby
the toenails and the food that's too far and you know what the lights have been on for 20 minutes
the electricity bill oh very mature Lori very mature I think it's time Cil and I go stay with
Grandma Peggy for a while what Cecil starts school in like two days I'm transfering him over so you
know how when bad things happen people say you never know this may be the best thing that ever
happened to you yeah yeah
this isn't one of those [Music] times [Music] [Music] fire are you kidding me right now [Music] Retreat my glasses I can't see
I can't see oh no just [Music] kidding Bono well I I see you two already
met hey Grandma oh for Pete's sake oh you have become a giant CA a giant wet SW
monster hey Mom thank you for letting us stay don't ask hi there name's Abby
the neighborhood Rugrat and my partner in crime okay hello there Abby and Cecil
I'm very I'm very proud of you you for what think she's g
ot a severe case of the grownups well I was just leaving nice to meet
you Cil bye I saw you checking her out what no I saw you Cecil 7 p.m. quiet the mother Lori
looks shoveled could be suffering from [Music] constipation ah it's in my eye
oh crap just kidding you landar fast grass oh gosh it's George who's George fifth graders still riding the bus glasses what do you
want George can't we just have a small talk who's the new guy I'm th Stevens what theil Stevens
I have bad hearing say it ag
ain in my good ear th there a th be we we Tom stupid Charlie that
doesn't work learn how why don't you shut it wo wo not only are these my brand new school clothes but
tearing apart that bush is bad for the environment not to mention the property value Charlie just get
out of here later glasses later purple shirt on a bike if that run in with George of the Jungle
and his gorillas is any indication you need to work on your coolness factor it's a kitty kid
world out there never sit in the fro
nt of the bus why well the further up you sit the less
popular you are the further back you sit the cooler you are I sit all the way in row 13
you see that kid that's Chandler he sat in the middle of the bus until one day Zach sh
a spitwad in his ear he couldn't hear for a week the Bell would ring and he would just sit
there everyone thought it was hilarious now he sits in the front dang who's that oh I think
his dad's a professional boxer or something hey he looks familiar hey what's your
name
uh I'm I'm I'm having a good day okay good for you listen Cecil if you want to survive the
fourth grade you can't say your name until when forever so you get to go to your locker once
a day unless you run full speed there and back do not get caught in the hall without a hall
pass unless it's Mr finnean he'll let it side unless it's Fridays he has to pick up his kids on
Fridays and uh sometimes he gets boo tight oh if you're late to school it's not count this tardy
if you talk to Miss
Lewis and admin throwing a cough with your excuse she'll let slide every
time her kid has asthma go oh never eat the brownie surprise why I like brownies You'll
poop your pants in 10 seconds flat trust me we started serving it late last June food's never
been the same since the bathrooms either so so how do you know all this I am the head writer
of the school newspaper it's my job to know it all I'm I'm in Missi big news I can't believe
changes budgets you're on record they're making budget
cuts cross country math club debate team
even our mascot Little Hercules everything is gone newspaper is the newspaper gone not yet so
what's wrong this paper it's our livelihood have you been living under a rock or something in the
wake of drastic budget cuts only the Cornerstone of Journalism can survive but the question is
for how long so who are you a boy man guy he's new and he demands his privacy Martha let's
go listen Cil this is the story of the year I mean even the mascot and the
question is why
it couldn't even have saved that much just to imagine Little Hercules cast off at the pound hey
new kid I'm Joel what's up hey there I'm leave alone okay if anyone asks who you are you
say um say it with br accent it'll Mass the list okay hello there on diesel no no no no
no no no no uh new plan don't say anything though perfect attention boys and girls welcome
to the fourth grade my class has been chosen to use a brand new learning plan
based on the hit TV show the magic b
ox car you'll be able to let your imaginations
go wild down through the jungles in Africa all the way up to the bioluminescent base of put [Music] [Applause] [Music] everybody
All Aboard what are we doing today is buy bu oh you know field trip rocking on the
BS car busy BS is on the way learning on thex car yeah make school okay don't drive
in there blast into the moon blast into the sun educational TV is totally fun
the magic box car Miss Bizzy Biz slow down please magic box car no stop Ma
gic Box
Car have you been drinking no way Magic Box Car yo kid grab your friend and
get on board back your lunch from the office something's up in
my line of work you got to be proactive oh well well well you
must be Abby oh I've heard about you it looks like we have a young
go-getter on our hands girl power oh it's a Hest for um you and Cleo
apparently you have speech class remember [Music] rabbit rabbit
no r r rabit [Music] rabbit good here have a treat Cecil Stevens are you ready okay
Cil you're going to have to
talk if we're going to learn to speak properly [Music] Sasquatch [Music] sasat sasat
[Music] squat [Music] sasch oh we've got a runner [Music] what what did you hear
what did you he into the office get into the office get in the office
principal Bloom I see you found our mute mute well let's keep it that way
oh I don't think so come on young [Music] man are you trying to get yourself expelled what
did I tell you L low and did I say lay low and look in the princi
pal's store maybe we can use
this whole mute thing to our advantage my next newspaper ticle CL called if you could be anyone
so so if you could be anyone who would you be uh Ninja Turtle Ora Power Ranger I was kind of
thinking someone who didn't talk like the Pink Panther basketball Tri outs let's go I don't know
I think I like the N Turtles I'll see you after practice here Peggy's picking me up too I have
the newspaper Club cool I love that newspaper thanks gentlemen this is it the Day of
Reckoning
this is where we separate the men from the boys the Larry Birds from the Harry nerds the
Dennis Rodman's from the blemish problems the Kareem Abdul Jabar from the well you
get the picture one or two of you punks might play college ball none of you will
play in the National Basketball League but if you want to be a contender you got to
have your game dunk it Baby dunk it take it to the ramp or take your prepubescent butt
home some of you will be cut today but do not be deterred Mi
chael Jordan was actually
cut that's right I'm talking about MJ on the [Music] line you Zach Jones made it yeah you
Stewart Spears cut you Max mccor Max mccy made it you cat you I'm I'm I'm I'm Michael Jordan [Applause] hey wait where'd he go you're the man Mike yeah what's up hope you can show
us some of that in the game MJ too many Christmas Cecil you did what I me
then if I could be anyone but why do you want to change it it was your great uncle C can't
say his old name it is social suic
ide so you like me actually I do nice to meet you Mr
Jordan honey you can't just say your name is something it's not really crap but but but
Candace's mom changes her last name all the time you really want to change change your name
for good cuz I might know a place where we can go you can change your name at the horsey ory
awesome oh yeah this is name change Central you'll need this I better go stand in line
I'm going to go talk to Sarah sometimes when Peggy lets me help her at work and it
's just
me and her we we eat all the ice cream uhoh well which one of you is ceil you
want to change your name honey yes all right well if you will just
write the new name right here on this line okay let me just type this
into my super secret super computer for Pete's sake where did you learn how to spell
and you can't put numbers in your name aren't they precious so school was crazy I have a cool
teacher who loves at m b chicken is pretty good for something out of a box you know
I thoug
ht we were taking some time apart it's his first day of school Lori I wanted to be
here for it you okay with that you're confusing Cecil confusing then you are confusing your son
confused confused he's confused I'm actually Michael Jordan what see your son is so confused
great here comes the Waterworks great you [Music] monster well Michael what do you
say you thinking what I'm thinking oh yeah all aboard what are we doing
today Miss buzy oh you know [Music] F don't drive in there magic slo
w down please plus guess what time it is field trip where are
we going Miss Baker inside your body but if I'm here how can we go inside me science fiction
let's fix this problem so you can talk and sing I know what you can sing sea sold seashells
by the sea sure what guys no no that's not my [Music] name Rodriguez do not put the mulch
in your mouth that's disgusting you're disgusting you're so good with them
well it's all about the discipline [Music] yo Mike you need to show
me that hook s
hot later word up y [Music] MJ you just that Zach this whole popularity
thing can really help us out I mean sponsorships interviews we could own this school that
would cost like ,000 quiet Martha it's an expression hey Michael I never got to
introduce myself I'm Chelsea oh hey I'm Abby and this is Martha she's the
assistant and I'm more of do you want to stay with me at lunch today [Music]
Michael okay great see you [Music] then bye holy moly at Chelsea Walters lunch date
she's a total Bet
ty you get in with Chelsea Walters and Zach and all three of us we
become instantaneously popular we've got some work to do these all Stevens uhoh move we
got to move code red Mara I said code red Cil Stevens Cil Steven I'll post up
kids on both sides of the slide Cil Steven hey hey Miss rayart I um
I think he went home sick today what fine guys what was that about Cil let's go Miss Baker you were looking smashing B has
anyone told you that oh I thank you and what can I do for you today Abb
y can't a classy lady
just talk to another kind of a crazy lady well I guess so recently my friend has changed his name
to Michael Jordan what Jordan yeah anyways a few teachers and I'm not trying to point any fingers
is that right seem to still be calling him by his old crappy name I see the problem is that all
the official names are run through the student computer database and that is run through the
principal's office so I'm afraid if that's what your name is in there that's what we hav
e to call
you thank you miss vaker you know I've really been enjoying your class really thank you cuz I am
so excited to be teaching it and bye just when everything was going great we'll handle that later
we've got to get you ready for your lunch date tell her she's a good writer good riter oh and
tell her that she's a total Betty but not like an ass if Betty like a girl next door Betty and make
sure to tell her you love Full House Full House [Music] Godspeed [Music] you're such a good Ride
r
what um your writing is good okay I don't really like writing I like magazines though I I think you're a Benny but
not as if Benny more like girl neck Thor Benny I told you that my name
is Chelsea not Betty oh yeah of [Music] [Music] course do you like Full House I love
Full House you totally remind me of Jesse booah you did great phenomenal quiet Martha hey we're
going to go to our lockers we'll catch up with you later copy that I thought you said we did
have time to go to our locker we
're not going to our lockers we're going to the principal's
office what no way you are so close SE so the next time the speech teacher walks into
the classroom and calls your name you'll be done kaput venito we've got to do this
hey is that someone ripping up the school newspaper please run the play oh what
what hey break it up I said break it up everybody up bring it in bring it in gentlemen
you've got to run the ples just like sometimes in life you've got to do things that you're
not use
d to and you've got to do them well even though this thing might be something that's
considered against the rules just put your faith in it and you do it and you'll you'll learn that
it's it's it's beautiful and it can change your life forever yeah it's getting on yeah who yeah
right yeah let's let's go let's go B te up B te up oh what are we doing an article um and need somebody else to write I'm in yes sorry guys meeting over it's locked I'm breaking in let's make this quick so we just need
to access the
passport database and then we should be able to do the rest in any computer in
the building oh M sweeper let's play a game okay okay so we just need to bypass the main
frame and the password should come up in no [Music] time hurry got to go come on extra stuffing is the password principal blue no now now Jimmy I
you told me a lot of things blue I told you it takes time it has
to be casual I just need a little time oh look at this poor verit did you
give him time room stay se
rious what's that want the money Friday it's not going to
be enough not enough not enough time not enough time Friday I'm lone shark Bloom and you're
swimming in deep Waters with that 20,000 you borrowed you'll pay me back or Mr chippity
Chomp Chomp CH Chom Chom Chomp here won't be the only thing that's [Music] chomped what did
you buy boom I I'll pay you back just leave us [Music] alone [Music] a we're going to take care of this let's go home little Budd let's go home fixure let's get out o
f here wait it's
it's worse than I thought let's go come on we've got to go Hercules's favorite toy who
cares about the mascot come [Music] on [Music] Michael Jordan speaking the newspaper
cancelled why this is Major news Michael but there won't be any newspaper to report it the principal
he's in some deep do-do and it stinks from what I hear listen it's obvious the principal's stealing
the funds but the question is for what maybe he needs a new name not everyone needs a new name
like you
MJ except for Martha and Paul Kowski he needs a new one anyways the security of our
school newspaper is at risk here I got it what if we sold names you're a genius Michael
not that genius we can use the principal's password to access the student database and
tell everyone new name that would be Kelly Kapowski sold with the money we make we can
start our own newspaper but I thought you had to change it at the horsey horsey I can transfer
the names when I go to work with pgy okay let's do [Mu
sic] it rolling down the street in my big wheel Tom
got your keychain just keeping it real posted on the Block s eliminate no change with your
order cuz I'm trying to get paid walk me on my head you can tell that I'm made headphones sit
pretty on that number three F Co like Mario I jump the best I'm fast and you're slow like VHS
I don't mind watch your L Before Time bring the orang so the end we be feeling fine teachers
on my case don't drop a DI no detention ain't for me but I know M now I
'm riding the bus now
I'm riding my bike got a girl on my pigs and she hanging on tight and she already knows that
I'm the man and she don't come asking who I am what's your name you what's your name what's
your name where do you ride and where do you sit what's your name what's your name where do you
said where do you what's your name what's your name what's your name what's your name hey I never caught your name not enough Bo
what's your name what's your name what's your name you what's y
our name
what's your name where do you ride and where do you sit what's your name what's your name
where do you and where what's your name what's your [Music] name I'm not mopping the floor I'm
an entrepreneur when is popping for sure you can stop in the door when you ask me my title I'm
going to play it on vinyl no I'm smooth on the groove cuz this ain't a recital spent 10 bucks
made 50 more three friends coming over play a 64 for controllers playing golden eye never getting
older F and d
o what die and when I grow up you going to know my name no got my tongue no no no
challenge to be always overcame no growing PS we making games what's your name you don't have
to tell me you can be anybody that you want to be so what's it going to be are you going to
Fleet look down inside and tell me what do you see what's your name what your name what's your name what's your name what's your name what
what's your name Bill Clon what's your name what what's your
[Music] name and Michael [M
usic] Jordan what could have sworn I canceled the
newspaper someone else must have paid for this who are you even talking to uh no one
I just uh I'm just thinking out loud [Music] menacing so it looks like we have an Abby Jennings
and a Cecil Stevens you two sure have been busy I was going to not only have you managed to access
my personal password but I think you've managed to start quite a little business venture
that's right food cells have been down so where's all the lunch money I'm so
rry I young go
kitters like you you sure impress me punishment shouldn't be the only answer to a problem like
this no the way I see it there's no rules broken here long as we can come up to an agreement an
agreement I'll let you sell names in my school and in return I'm thinked with 80% of the profit
80% that's ridiculous you're ridiculous if you think you have a choice I'll give you so many
detentions you'll think the Breakfast Club was like daycare 80% nothing less starting tomorrow
we'r
e going to expand the business into the first grade the second grade the third grade the
whole school now get out there and sell me some names listen this meaning of name your name
has been called C under dire circumstances i f Martha on the way over question I was under the
impression that we were going to have poporn get your head in the game we'll have that later okay
so listen we have no option but to give principal bloom a cut of our money but as long as our
business expands properly w
e'll have plenty of money to keep the newspaper going so we just
need to follow these instructions the newspaper continues the principal stays happy and well
we stay cool like Ice Vanilla Ice but guys the principal what if what if that Jimmy guy
come for us stop scaring Martha we just need to play ball and keep the newspaper going we
haven't been this cool since never we've been cool Martha we just listen I think I'm on to my
next story I think the principal did something horrible to Hercul
es no our little Pooch mascot
what where did you get that listen we can't let the principal know we're on to him we can't
tell a soul let's make some cheddar ch ch [Music] ch [Music] of course he's awesome
he's Michael Jordan I mean if I
0:38:57.440,1193:02:47.295
[Music] was Michael Jordan right thatd be
awesome like [Music] slam [Music] right we're running out of [Music] names
[Music] I want that name no way not even for $500 no way can't do it nope I'm Michael
Jordan but he's offering
500 bones our newspaper needs this yeah Michael walk
with me to class hey baby 1 second hey baby listen soon enough you'll be so popular
that you won't even you're not telling my name to Z Chelsea might break up with me yeah
but there are plenty of other names sure Chelsea likes the name Michael but there are
plenty of other girls yeah like Abby yeah wait Martha nothing I mean I'm sorry Abby ow I can
fix this MJ let's go I'm sorry Abby I got to go the samurai would train
and learn practic
ing the art of extreme discipline so when
it was time for them to go into battle they were [Music] ready hey what are they doing they heard that Abby
likes you she's such a weirdo and none of us really like her female weirdo do you like her
or something yes I mean no she's my [Music] friend oh h most honorable
principal Bloom uh how may we serve you I need to see Mr Michael Jordan and Abby well maybe you two should
just go out then what no I'm sorry now little Marva has so kindly informed m
e that we
have a $500 offer for the name Michael Jordan but someone won't give up the name I can't I'm Michael
Jordan no you're not yes I am no you're not yes I am you can still be popular with another name
we by chance met Chandler he was popular once until he crossed me who do you think God Zach to
shoot the spit wat in his ear huh what he couldn't quiet Martha now CE so give up the name I'll
run you forever how does that sound give me my [Music] money oh that SLI that slipped time out
t
ime out guys let's get in here let's get in here come on come on listen boys you're not playing
the ball game you came here to play you have to make a decision when you get out on that Court am
I going to be the winner that takes this win am I ready to be the person that I've always wanted
to be or do you want to sit around like your old great aunt who can't really walk anymore who can't
play the game who has arthritis who's basically given up is that who you want to be now get out
there an
d show these punks who you are who you came here to be get in here 1 2 3 B bring it down
and give the ball to me I'm not giving you [Music] [Applause] [Music] anything [Music] thanks a lot that's why I
should be Michael Jordan your [Music] disgrace Michael we need to talk
I got to go Michael I didn't think Martha would this would have never happened if we didn't have to save your stupid newspaper
stupid Michael I just wanted you to like me hey how did it go we lost lost well that's
okay boy
s night out we'll have a good time where's Mom oh she is being so unfair right
act like she's the only one that raised you dad there's this girl at school and I think I
like her what yeah Lori I remember I told you about the game on the 15th it's the 15th the
15th it's the 15th yeah today's the 15th yeah no I'm not driving all the way back there no
we're going to go to a [Music] hotel sorry C what it's Michael yeah you think I'm happy
about this I'm not happy about this either Lori you thin
k that I'm happy I have to come
drive and see my son hello mate what's your name Michael Jordan so what's with a long face well don't
tell anybody but my name wasn't always Michael Jordan come one my old name was Cecil Stevens
you sound like you're talking with a M for the toffee one more time see anyways this guy won
my harder name but if I give it to him I might lose this girl that I'm going out with but if I
don't I might lose everything else tell you what to do get a stinky sock one tha
t you've worn for
about 3 weeks a really stinky sock and you take it right and you did you say stinky sock kid
my advice to you is to listen to an America I've been here for 3 years for 3 years of it
it's this way all the I speak English you're speaking English at least I did what I'm doing
here you're the one I'm trying to be a good father Miss Baker where are we
beats me but let's try the intestine Express looks like we got ourselves into
quite a pickle let's assess the damage looks like
the crash caused a leak in the
oxygen tank kids way to go Thal this is the worst field trip ever and I can make you
worse I can make it much much worse sell the name c so sell the name give me my
money sell the name and give me my money I told you one last time sell the name
then you sealed your fate wait actually his parents legally changed his name
to Michael Jordan and if um he sells the name then people might come poking
around and I think we both know that they won't like what they f
ind you're bluffing
call us parents if you don't believe me fine hello this is principal Bloon
hello is Cecil's mother there oh you must be looking for Michael's mother
are you kidding me excuse me who is is this is this that bill collector because
I can tell you exactly where to put your bill kids do you think I'm joking just leave
me alone we need the money you're selling the name you can't make him I can do whatever I
want I'm the principal now you get out sit there 1 second longer youn
g lady and I'll ban
newspapers from this school forever get out now the evens you think your name's going to save you from being unpopular well
let me see if I can sway your opinion hello students of Smith Elementary
today we're going to have our Elite student Michael Jordan read what we're going to
have for lunch get ready cuz it sounds delicious see you today is Wednesday and for lunch we
have a super bestel spectacular serving control for you the first course is extra
delicious it's swe
et Savory sausage with a thigh of s and don't skip our brownie
surprise for a [Applause] dessert fire P fire good one guys steady your rifles the
target hasn't retreated yet guys it's me it's Michael he's traing Victory is our what the [Music] Sho what are you doing we'll
never be cool again what am I doing I'm saving you you still want these idiots
to like you back at the bus can't be there [Music] forever she likes you because you were someone
you aren't it's a kitty kid worb out there ce
il I'm hit and if you want to hang out with them
still maybe you should just leave me and Martha [Music] alone I'm going out don't do [Music] it [Music] social suicide you are not taking him to some
sleazy hotel T but where am I supposed to take him Lori and for your information the
Lonely Heart in happens to be a pillar of the community oh now I've heard everything
no he is stay here oh he's coming with me no he is my son what is he the product
of Immaculate Conception okay fine you know w
hat if you're going to act like that take
him take him go with your father see no I'm not falling for your drama no no no you keep
him stay with your mom go with your father cesil [Music] comeo Abby to MJ I repeat Abby to MJ over this
is MJ over I'm sorry over I'm sorry too you were the only one who was really being nice to me do
you want to help me finish my last story over duh over the meet me outside in 5 minutes
I've got a top secret mission over what's the missing over the principal th
e $20,000
our mascot Hercules I'll flee in on the way over were are you f over yeah
I said I'll fill you in on the way over on the way over over dang it
Michael are you up for the mission or not over yes over and [Music] out [Music] this is it you sure you're ready [Music] up this should take us to the ventilation [Music] [Music] system surprisingly spacious oh my gosh he must have Ed the
money to start a tax stormy business he's an animal an animal
stuffers oh my gosh is that Hercules it's
payback time this one is 2 days old it only
takes one bite and then you'll poop your pants jimy now I'll get you the
money it's okay he's just sleep talking who made brownie sweet pull up pull up pull up bck [Music] [Music] it I hear you up there [Music] go go go this way no this
[Music] [Applause] [Music] way what no of course I'm not in the bathroom
I mean who talks on the phone in the bathroom I know Tim I I know just tell
Cecil I said good night okay no no he is definitely with you I t
old him to go with
you he's probably confused well he probably is [Music] [Music] Michael I might have expected it from
you Abby but Cecil and you too I'm just glad you're okay me too and don't think that because
you're not dead that you're not in trouble oh my God you could have died my baby oh my S
that's right and whose fault would that have been I think a couple of people need to go to
their rooms and think about what they've done yes nope you two need to think
long and hard about your
priorities some of you have
neglected to give learning a chance you would rather be cool than
study your school but if you want to reach the Stars you have to not care
about what your friends think of your name La [Music] oxygen can't breathe ah hon we have a message from a foreign
life form play it call no no not you just him Martha come in it's down you sto the name to Zach how could
you he made me he forced me he also gave me lots of candy you can leave now now Zach is the new
Michael
Jordan and well that leaves you you'll sit in the front of the bus and you'll hold your
head low and it won't be that bad unless you have to read the morning announcements every day or
uh yeah or if everyone figures out that you so them false names you see this money this money I'm
betting it on your game tonight I'm betting that you're going to lose and I know that and you know
why I know that Cecil I know that because you're going to make them lose or things are going to get
real real bad
for you Cil no lose the game Cil and maybe just maybe I'll let you pick a new name heck
I'll even take you to the horsey horsey [Laughter] myself why do you think Mom and Dad Nam me Cil
because they liked it I suppose what they like you know a lot of really cool people have been
named Cecil yeah right like who well there was uh Cecil Cooper the All-Star baseball player
and Cecil B deil the famous filmmaker and uh Cecil Schwarzenegger the strong youngest man
alive really a I'm sure they did
n't like their names at first either but they figured
it out I bet they could pronounce their names oh it looks like
you've got a [Music] visitor wo oh you know why is here yeah Peggy told me
I have to come to work with her sounds like more of a vacation than a punishment to
me though yeah I guess I want to show you [Music] something thanks Peggy told me you might
need some cheering up mac and cheese my [Music] favorite Cecil do you know that besides Martha you're
the only friend I've had
since second grade I used to be friends with everybody until one
day they all started being really mean to Martha I told her I would always
be her friend because I knew she didn't have any then Chelsea and
Zach and everyone started calling me glasses but when I met you I
didn't care if I had any other friends um you know I was um I was
watching Blossom earlier and I was thinking holy [Music] crap you're supposed to close your eyes disgusting oh it's all over me got oh for Pete's sake it's n
ot that
bad I guess it wasn't that bad yeah so have you finished your story
almost it might be my last but it will definitely be a page Turner
and make us popular maybe maybe not [Music] oh kids the chances of us making it out
of this field trip are slim the oxygen tank is almost spanked this is all fal's
fault oh man I've got it if Cecil learns to say the right mouth movement then the
wind will Propel us out in a jiffy I sure hope it doesn't have any s sounds in
it he just has to say his
true name uh Michael Jordan I know your name's not
[Music] Michael hurry Cecil just say it please no I can't hry some of you have neglected to give
learning a chance the samurai would train and learn so and it was time for
them to go into battle they were ready e just like sometimes in life
you've got to do things that you're not used to and you've got to
do them well you'll learn that it's it's beautiful and it can
it can it can change your life forever [Applause] [Music] better be right
Bloom you're getting
a knuckle sandwich extra Knuckles he loses this game you double your money we're
Square you're slipping Bloom you're slipping [Music] [Applause] what are we
doing oh time out everybody [Music] in look boys sometimes you
come to the end of a rope begin to realize that things maybe
aren't exactly what you thought they were but guess what we got to put that behind us
we got to get over it there are plenty of ropes in the sea and when you find one of those new
ropes do y
ou know what you have to do you have to dunk the crap out of it Michael yeah no no
wait Michael I'm Michael my name is Michael I bought it fair and square cut the crap Zach MJ
you got this you know what to do I've talked about it every single day in practice I'm not
Michael Jordan I can't hey don't be like my sick aunt just get out there and do it we've got
your back no matter who you are 1 2 3 [Music] m we got to go we gotta [Music] go yes my [Applause] yeah that's it Bloom you're coming
w
ith meom but I a [Applause] bloom that's enough sit down Sit down you're going to pay easy so our
star player has something to say he and his little girlfriend they hacked into
the school computer system you all have the same names you did at the beginning of the
school year what no no Michael Jordan would not do that to us no I'm Michael not
that chump I'm confused tell everyone look guys the names we sold all of
you they are real they don't count and I I was forced to sell you own
named
by that man Jimmy McCracken I can't believe it guard arrest
him okay but you're coming too easy champ he made me do it he be 20 large oh I got this boom yes my hero great job Dallas thanks I'm her
brother John brother oh [Music] hey Hercules Hercules Hercules I thought he had been stop
nope I found him in the principal's house he was just about to stuff him he would have made
a better table piece that mut deserves to be stu oh how's up for stuffing yeah yeah good okay truce for now well [Mus
ic] clearly
dude if we could I'd totally let you be Michael Jordan he doesn't need to be Michael Jordan
he's already cool because we're going out or wrong he's not your boyfriend and he's
cool in general as if quiet Chelsea [Music] bye look guys I think we all need
to stop worrying about being cooler than each other I think we're all a little
weird but I also think we're all a little [Music] cool Jimmy wait for [Music] me this meeting of
Smith Elementary news team has been caught under I c
ould wait do you guys know what a news
team does after they finish covering a big story celebrate the popcorn like tag we move on we've
got standards here people now it's time for our next Story how about Hercules the mascot escape
slavery here's cancer how about boy plays video games for 40 hours straight how about stuff that's
actually happening haven't you ever wondered why our speech teacher the one in charge of helping
us talk better has an English accent oh I guess I never thought of
it me either I think we
all noticed Miss Ry car getting fresh with Jimmy at the game and it turns out they've been in
cahoots this whole time the whole staff knew the principal Bloom was going to get fired and next
in the seniority line was her but what about with banker and Coast Dows that's the worst part they
seem to be the only two who aren't in on it which means they're going to get rid of them they're
going to kill them no they're going to get them both fired and then they'll have not
hing standing
in their way our school our newspaper it'll all be done for unless I don't like where this is
going I do unless what unless we stop all of them we're going to need a bigger [Music] brownie [Music] no this is senior writer Abby Jennings
signing out good night and good luck see see [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] rolling down the street in my
big wheel got your keychain just keeping it real posted on the Block still elimon no
change with
your order cuz I'm trying to get paid walk me on my head you can tell that I'm made head pretty
on that number three fade coins like Mario I jump the best I'm fast and you're slow like VHS I I
don't mind watch your L Before Time bring the orang so the end we be feeling fine teachers on
my case don't drop a dime no detention ain't for me but I know M now I'm riding the bus now I'm
riding my bike got a girl on my pigs and she hanging on tight and she she already knows
that I'm t
he man and she don't come asking who I am what's your name you what's your name
what's your name where do you ride and where do you what's your name what's your name where do
you and where do you what your name what's your name what's your name what's
your name hey I never caught your name what's your name what what's your name what's your name you what's your name what's
your name where do you ride and where do you sit what's your name what's your name where do
you and where do you what's
your name's your [Music] name I'm not mopping the floor I'm an
entrepreneur when is popping for sure you can stop in the door when you ask me my title I'm
going to play it on vinyl know I'm smooth on the groove cuz this ain't a recital spent 10
bucks made 50 more three friends coming over playing 64 four controllers playing golden eye
never getting older but and do or die and when I grow up you going know my name no got my tongue no
no no challenge to be I was overcame no growing P we makin
g GES what's your name you don't have
to tell me you can be anybody that you want to be so what's it going to be are you going
to look down inside and tell me what do you see what your name what's your name and action
Christa action s s and there sar's at the bike all right
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