DAVID LYNCH: I want a pet monkey. Wood. Wood is such a blessing for humanity. ONLOOKER: What the f*** is David Lynch doing?
He’s just sitting on the f***ing corner of La Brea and Hollywood… with a f***ing
cow! DAVID: I went out with a cow and a placard
for Laura Dern, and it was, you know, a necessity because I didn’t have the money to buy ads
in the trades. And it brought awareness. If you want to see the greatest performance
of 2006, check out Laura Dern’s performance in Inland Empire. Here in
LA, beautiful blue skies. Here in
LA, beautiful blue skies. Golden sunshine. Golden sunshine. Muted sunshine. It’s 65
degrees Fahrenheit- 54 degrees Fahrenheit- 70 degrees Fahrenheit- [silence] DAVID: Okay, good. Get her undressed and we’ll
do this thing. Naomi came in and did not look exactly like
the photograph that I’d fallen in love with. NAOMI WATTS: It was disappointing. DAVID: It wasn’t disappointing. NAOMI: A little bit! DAVID: It was… it was… um… uh, devastating. [laughter] DAVID: Here
’s the thing with that, champ. That’s short for champion. [silence] DAVID: Yes. INTERVIEWER: There seems to be a growing trend
in Hollywood now where there’s a lot of prominent product placement. How do you as
a filmmaker feel about this growing trend? DAVID: Bulls***. We’re freezin’ our ass off up here. Who gives a f***ing s*** how long a scene
is? What a heavy load Einstein must’ve had. F***ing morons, everywhere. [laughter] [loud electrical buzzing] DAVID: What’s that buzzing? MAN: It’s the l
ights. DAVID: F***. Drives you nuts. F***in’ A, man! It drives me nuts. I love to eat cheese. [laughter] We’re cookin’ quinoa. Moths were flipping and flying and, like frogs.
Frogmoths were pulling themselves out of the earth and flying up in front of the stand.
Dust was blowing. It was like a… And there you have it. A fantastic bowl of
quinoa. MADCHEN AMICK: Would you like some pie? DAVID: Massive, massive quantities. And a
glass of water, sweetheart! My socks are on fire! She’s my mother’s sis
ter’s girl. I had another Monica Bellucci dream. You remind me today of a small Mexican Chihuahua. [silence] DAVID: Action, Kale! KYLE MACLACHLAN: “Kale! Kale!” And he
calls me Kale. That’s another story. Because during Dune, Dino De Laurentiis who produced
that couldn’t say Kyle, and he called me Kale. “Hey, Kale!” And he had spoken like
that. David picked that up and he becomes fond of it, so now he calls me Kale. He says,
“Kale!” DAVID: Kale, you come to right about here.
And you come in, Tid
bit. LAURA DERN: My nickname is Tidbit. Since I
was 16. DAVID: Okay. Love you, Tidbit. LAURA: Love you too. DAVID: I love you, sweetie. LAURA: I love you too. DAVID: I love you. LAURA: I love you. LAURA DERN: I just remember he said, “Cut! Tidbit, you’ll have them bolting for the fire exits!" I was like, “Oh my god!”
Seemingly crushed, but he was so happy! I guess I did it the way he wanted me to. NAOMI: I’d spent 10 years of auditioning
in Los Angeles where you're lucky if you get to meet the d
irector. You might not get
a bit of eye contact or a handshake or anything. Nonetheless, David looked at me and he actually
asks me questions so there was a conversation. He sat me still and said, “I’m interested
in you,” and therefore I was able to… I’m gonna cry! DAVID: I sure love you, Naomi! DAVID: Naomi knocked this thing out of the
park. She is such a fantastic actress. Laura Dern is one of the all time great actresses.
She could play anything. LAURA: I got a call that he wanted to meet
me
at Bob’s Big Boy to see if Kyle MacLachlan and I could get along... or something! DAVID: I used to go to Bob’s Big Boy restaurant
and I went there for 7 years, every day at 2:30. Not Chinese Dentist Time. It was Chinese
Dentist time but, um, I went there because they, I liked to have a chocolate milkshake. LAURA: We ordered malts and french fries. DAVID: And there was a silver goblet shake.
It wasn’t really ice cream. It was a thing they put into a thing called a tailor machine
and it would get
cold and they’d pull the lever and it would come out in kind of a tube
of ice cream and fill this goblet. And I liked this chocolate milkshake. I had these things
for 7 years with a cup of coffee and I would write on the napkins. LAURA: David was doodling on napkins while
Kyle was doodling with a knife into his ketchup. And I mean, a girl either goes, “These are
really bizarre men and they’re twin souls,” or, “I’m in love with both these people
and want to spend the rest of my lives with them,”
which is how I responded. DAVID: And I would write on the napkins. It
was like having a desk. And you need paper? There’s a piece of paper and you write on
it when you get ideas. Ideas are so beautiful and they’re so abstract.
And they do exist someplace. I don’t know if there’s a name for it. And I think they
exist, like fish. And I believe that if you sit quietly, like you’re fishing, you will
catch ideas. The real, you know, beautiful, big ones swim kinda deep down there so you
have to be ve
ry quiet and, you know, wait for them to come along. If you catch an idea,
you know, any idea, it wasn’t there and then it’s there! It might just be a small
fragment of, like I say, a feature film or a song or a lyric or whatever, but you gotta
write that idea down right away. And as you’re writing, sometimes it’s amazing how much
comes out, you know, from that one flash. So, you get an idea and it is like a seed.
And in your mind the idea is seen and felt and it explodes like it’s got electrici
ty
and light connected to it. And it has all the images and the feeling. And it’s like
in an instant you know the idea, in an instant. Then, the thing is translating that to some
medium. It could be a film idea or a painting idea or a furniture idea, it doesn’t matter.
It wants to be something. It’s a seed for something. So, the whole thing is translating
that idea to a medium. And in the case of film, it takes a long time and you always
need to go back and stay true to that idea. The film is th
e thing. You work so hard, you
know, after the ideas come, to get this thing built, all the elements to feel correct, the
whole to feel correct, in this beautiful language called cinema. [“Twin Peaks Theme” playing] DAVID LYNCH: Have a great day, everyone.
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