that's why this Series has exploring worst case scenarios who wants to get
on the phone with someone a very close relative and have to talk like this no one does but
the reality is there might be people who actively say things against this type of
lifestyle or against the location you're at hey there and welcome to the digital Nomad Family
podcast this is the place where families who have or want to have a nomadic lifestyle come
together to talk about the highs and lows that this life bring
s we celebrate the joys and
support each other in the heart so if you are a digital Nomad family or will be in the future
this is the place for you we're glad you're here hey everyone long time no talk huh you might
have thought where'd Marissa go and the answer is Mexico City um the entire time we were in
Mexico City we had a pretty busy schedule and I didn't handle all the all the things so well
with keeping the podcast going so we are out of Mexico City now and I said you know what I
re
ally missed this I miss talking to you guys I miss the community and I really want to prioritize
getting back to it so I am excited to be back we have picked up several new uh listeners which I'm
really excited about so welcome if this is your first one in a while welcome back and I'm excited
we ended our last series I feel like on a really in a good place uh we were talking about setting
goals and if you haven't had a chance to listen to all of the different leading our families well
serie
s I encourage you to go back I was really impressed with all the people that I interviewed
and I just really enjoyed that Series so I feel like it was a nice positive series and I
really liked it and kind of as I've been thinking okay what do I want to talk about now having come
back we have learned some things as digital Nomads my husband and I and I was like you know what
I really want to talk about these things that I feel like are important but maybe they're not as
exciting or happy so
before we get to uh what our new series is which I mean you've read it already
you can see that it's disaster Diaries exploring worst case scenarios which I'll explain it I
promise um but I just want to again reintroduce myself for those of you who are new because like
I said we have picked up several new listeners and if you're listening to this and you haven't
hit that subscribe button it really is helpful to get the word out about this podcast and I'm not
going anywhere now so you can tr
ust me to hit it um my name is Marissa I am a full-time
traveler along with my husband and our four kids so we are a digital Nomad
family and we are unique in this space and because family nomadic travel is
in my opinion and the people I talk to I think it's only going to increase I am hoping
that this is a place where families can come together we can help each other out we can talk
about all the things that need to be talked about the good the bad the ugly and yeah I love to
travel obvio
usly uh we are slow Travelers meaning we basically stay in a place until the amount of
time our passport says we have to leave we leave so if it's 180 we're probably there for about 180
days if it's 90 we're there for 90. we really just like to be in a place get to know the people there
get to know the culture in that place and yeah so we are currently in San Salvador El Salvador and
we are loving it it's been very refreshing here it's it's much smaller than Mexico City it's about
if I did
the math right which a mathematician I am not but if I did the math right it's about
1 16 the size of Mexico City so going from that to this has been mind-boggling um but we're
loving it also if you um are thinking about coming to San Salvador just know it is a city of hills
okay can I just like um Rabbit Trail for a second we need to start talking about the hills
and places like the topographical map can we make it more important like a higher
priority to talk about that because like I hav
e these cities in my head and I'm like oh
yeah I want to go there I want to go there I want to go there and then I get there and I never
once have considered the terrain of a place is please please don't tell me I'm the only one that
has got off an airplane and gone oh wow this is flatter than I thought or this is Hillier than
I thought or this is like basically a mountain um because that's San Salvador um and
Mexico City is very flat if you've been there you know you're just walking flat y
ou go
to Chipotle pet castle and like that's your Hill um so this is very different so our
legs are getting a workout which is good because I ate way too many gorditas in
Mexico so I can walk off my gorditas here um I'm excited to be back um go through if you
are new listening to all the old podcasts is really going to let you know who I am we
try to keep it casual here and I try to keep them quick I'm not so great at the second part
of that I'm really great at the first part so we're supe
r casual here but I feel like it is
important information and I really do try to be helpful so this series that we're getting
into right now disaster Diaries exploring worst case scenarios the whole point of it is
to kind of do a little Deep dive if you will into different situations that we do need to
prepare for as digital Nomad families and each week or each episode I'm gonna highlight one
area okay and so this one this episode is about boundaries with your families back in
your passpor
t country so we're calling it anti-travel family and friends now they might not
be anti-travel and I know anti-travel might be of a bit rough but by that I mean maybe they're
anti you traveling to one place they're anti the fact your kids are homeschooled
because you travel maybe they're anti the health care situation
maybe they're not 100 percent against you being a full-time traveling family
but there's definitely an element of it that they don't like and so we're going to go through
how
to talk to these family members because I do believe that those relationships are important
and I'm going to give you just some tips that I've used in my own life with family and not so
much friends but definitely family who I would consider anti-digital Nomad lifestyle we have I
can think of two in particular in my family that are they wouldn't go as far as to say anti this
lifestyle but the comments they make to us and even to my children definitely in my opinion puts
them in the anti-tr
avel category so what do we do when they're not happy what if they say even
scary or inappropriate things to your kids how do you talk to them if something has gone
wrong if something a travel plan fell through or someone is sick or someone got hurt how do we
communicate these things with someone who were nervous if we say oh so and so is sick they're
going to come back at us with oh it's because you're in this country and that's not why they're
sick they're sick because they're a seven-yea
r-old kid and seven-year-old kids get stomach viruses
right and so those are the things that we're gonna really focus in on today and it's going to
come down to in my opinion the the most important element of this is honesty and communication so
just open honest communication because that's all you can control and I don't want you guys
to have this idea that you're going to change this person's mind you most likely are not going
to change your mom's or your dad's or your aunt or whoever it
is you're most likely not going to
change their mind that this lifestyle is healthy or safe or appropriate whatever their problem
is you most likely aren't going to change their mind but what you can do is you can communicate
with them you can let them know that they've been heard that you understand where they're coming
from and then you just kind of have to move on so one of the in my opinion the best way
to handle this is to ask the question what is the biggest concern you have about tha
t so
when they come to you and they're talking to you about they're nervous because you're going to go
to a certain country you just ask them what is the biggest concern you have about that what's the
biggest concern you have about us traveling to and anywhere I mean so many people get nervous
any if I'm just going to leave that as a blank okay because you know what your family and
friends get nervous about so you just say what's the biggest concern you have about us
traveling to that to t
hat country and then they're going to share their fears they're going
to say oh well I've heard this they believe this they do this this is what they do to U.S citizens
and you just let them share their concerns okay then after they're all done what you what you need
to say and this is very important is you say this what I hear you saying is and then you repeat back
to them what you feel like they're saying okay not um not what not not putting your own spin on it
or anything like that just
what genuinely what you heard and after you then say so what I hear
you're set you saying is fill in the blank you ask them is that right if you're correct well now you
guys you're on the same page you understand why this person is nervous about you going to that
place are you doing that activity if you don't understand it or maybe they didn't communicate
themselves clearly then they had the opportunity to go no that's actually not what I was trying
to say can I you know I'm gonna say it ag
ain this this is a form of communication that is so
helpful and it doesn't require them to be a part like you don't have to sit down and go okay we're
going to do this communication exercise where no all you say is what is the biggest concern you
have about that if you need to take notes grab your phone grab a piece of paper and just take I
mean just listen to their fears and their concerns then afterwards say okay so what I hear you saying
is and then tell them what you heard this is going
to make sure that you're both on the same page
about their concerns please don't misunderstand me I'm not saying that their concerns are
accurate that their concerns are always based in reality that there's anything to back up what
they're saying but the only way that they will um know that you know where they're coming from
is if you state back to them what they said I hope that makes sense I'm not asking you to agree with
them um I'm just saying let them know that you understand where th
ey're coming from then aft
once you get on the same page and you ask the question is that right and they say yes those are
my concerns now you can address the concerns now I do want it to be noted that I think
that there are different levels of um like openness in our family and friends
group so for some people you don't really owe them an explanation you can just go okay well
I understand that that's a concern you have for me I would say something like I understand
that that's a concern y
ou have Eric and I have researched it ourselves and we're very comfortable
still moving forward with this trip and we're excited to go it's okay that not everyone is you
know you can throw that in there it's okay that not everyone has the same Comfort level with this
country or with this city or with this activity then there are other people where I do think it's
okay for you to maybe even pull up some studies and say if one of their biggest concerns is safety
or kidnapping rates pull out y
ou can actually go online and pull up the statistics for not all
but so many countries and city-specific crimes and then you can even pull up the stats in a
place like New York City or Chicago or Miami um and compare them and say well it's actually
just as risky for us as a family to go to New York City for a week whereas going to this
city and and sometimes when they see that sometimes that will help sometimes it doesn't um
I tried that method with someone in my family and they said you ca
nnot trust those numbers we were
talking about when we were headed to Mexico City they said you cannot trust those numbers because
everything in the government is controlled by the cartels even the statistics and if that's going to
be the person's attitude back to you you can't do anything you can just say okay well I promise I'll
keep an eye on my kids like just leave it at that um but you I think it's okay to address on on for
certain people some of the concerns that they have so I would
say that that is a big one is just
understand okay what's the relationship I have with you and then and that will help you
determine how much you're gonna share with this person and how much you want to work
to maybe change their mind um about the place that you're going another thing that I
think is really important is to to understand so many this this lifestyle is so new and so many
people just don't understand it that it does feel odd especially for maybe the older generation
and so I
think it's important to keep in mind they might not be coming at it in maybe like
this Negative Nancy doomsday type way they just might genuinely be confused or concerned before
my grandmother passed and when we would go to different places she would be so confused because
this is a woman that never left the United States of America and so the idea that we were going to
Europe and training around like that that just blew her mind because that was just not anything
she had any experience wit
h and she just wasn't even able to pull the information from her brain
to try to connect with it and that's okay there's nothing wrong with that um so just keep in mind
it might not always be coming from a place of negative type situation they
might just be so confused by it um and that's why asking you know what is what is
the biggest concern you have and that question can really help bring it back into um reality if
you will and and things that you can address I would say this is somethin
g that I have
a lot of experience in um and I think that being open and honest with our family
members can really help the situation so there were many people in our family my family
and Eric's family that were nervous when they knew we were going to Mexico City and we had done the
research we weren't going to be anywhere dangerous I never once fell in danger in Mexico City I
traveled alone through the city multiple times um I never felt like there was any concern for my
well-being but the
y might look at you and and they can say this place is too dangerous okay and so
let's kind of run through an example if you will about this so with let's take my we'll use my
in-laws as an example for this and they might look at me and they say oh wow you know I'm
not comfortable with you going to Mexico City and I would just ask well what's the biggest
concern you have about us traveling to Mexico City and then they might come back at me and they
say this is too dangerous we hear all abou
t the drugs we hear all about the gangs and I'm
just I'm worried that this is going to happen and then I can look at them and I can say okay so
you're concerned about the crime rate in this city yes and they might say well it's not the crime
crime rate that I'm concerned about it's what if they find out that you're from the United States
and and now you can see then you can address that so you might say okay so you're concerned that
people might Target me because I'm a U.S citizen and they
might say yes that's my concern
okay well now we can address certain things what if take it back to the beginning we'll
kind of do another one they come and they say I'm really uncomfortable with you going to Mexico
City and you say okay what's your biggest concern about that well we've just heard so many stories
about kids being kidnapped that I'm you know I'm I'm scared about my grandkids okay so what I'm
hearing you say is that you're concerned that I'm going to put my kids in a situatio
n that I
can't control and because of that they might get taken from me and then they're going to say
oh no it's not you I trust you right because they're going to think well but that's going
to help them see my kids are with me the whole time and then you can start talking to them you
know my kids don't walk around the city alone or if you do have older kids and they are walking
around the city alone again you can go back to other statistics you know if we were in New York
City my kids wo
uld probably walk around the city alone if that was our hometown and so you can
really just kind of get to the heart of their um the heart of their concern so that is those are
kind of like face-to-face things okay something else that might happen with anti-travel family
and friends is they might reach out to you or your children while you're traveling with some
concerns this happened to us in Mexico City and one of my kids received a text message
from one of my family members a very um clo
se not like relationally close but
like a very blood close relative and it was a text message to our oldest son saying
don't walk around the city by yourself it's very dangerous the United States just banned
all travel from the United States to Mexico that was a text message my seven my 16 year old
received so what do you do in that situation well I immediately got on the phone and I called this
family member and I said that is inappropriate he my my son is not the one that you reach out
t
o if you are genuinely concerned that's more of a scare tactic than it is showing genuine
concern for your family member's safety and I just had to call this person out on it
and I know that sounds uncomfortable but at a point we do maybe have to call people out on
something that they've said especially to our kids um in that kind of situation so there might be
a time where you actually have to call someone out and I you have to do it with love you have
to do it with with Grace but at the e
nd of the day you still cannot allow people to totally
go over the boundaries that you have set up and and the choices that you have made for
your family and they can't just disrespect you and your kids that way so I had to get on
the phone and make you know make it clear that that was inappropriate and I told this person I
said whatever news Outlet you are listening to they are lying to you because the United States
did not close all travel to Mexico that's a lie um and so sometimes you ju
st have to point out
the errors and see guys that's why this Series has exploring worst case scenarios who wants to get
on the phone with someone a very close relative and have to talk like this no one does but
the reality is there might be people who actively say things against this type of
lifestyle or against the location you're at so that is that's another situation that could happen
while you're out and about it could happen even if you're back in your passport country hanging out
wit
h friends and family someone says something negative to your kids and you kind of gotta just
step up and you have to go actually that's false information or we've considered that and we've
looked into it and you really have to stand your ground at times as a digital Nomad family because
there are people that just don't understand it and because they don't understand it they are going
to be more likely to be a little resistant to it so another situation that I think is important
to talk abou
t is what do we do with our anti-travel family and friends when we actually
are going somewhere that does have more of a risk to it and these are these are the things I'm
talking about maybe you are going to the Congo and you have to take malaria meds um there's lots of
places where you have to take malaria meds that's just one I could think of right now but you're
going someplace and you have to take malaria meds or a different type of meds you have to go get a
shot because of something an
d you know if you tell people oh well you know all of us have to take
these malaria meds because of our whatever we're doing adventure and you guys are very excited
about this adventure that you have coming up but yeah you have to dig malaria Med so you don't have
good malaria potentially um as some people might hear that you have to take malaria meds and they
might be thinking that you're putting your kids in unnecessarily risky situations um how do you
handle that another thing that peopl
e might not understand is if you actually are going
to do something that does have a higher danger element to it so think like you might be hiking to
Everest Base Camp loads of people hike to Everest Base Camp it's a very popular activity families
do it it's very possible for for kids to do it um but it definitely has risk it's the altitude is
high so you're instantly just looking at potential breath issues and lung things there are the the
known risks of earthquakes and avalanches we we al
l know that but you've researched it you have
found a guide that you feel like handles it as safely as possible and you believe that this
is going to be a fantastic experience for you and your kids and you want to do it how do you
talk to people who are more anti-travel about these higher risk situations and again I think
it just goes back to open honest conversations I would not if you know for sure someone is going
to be anti this adventure I wouldn't I would limit the amount that you tal
k to them about it and I
would have it be more of a information sharing um versus a conversation I would just tell them
hey in two weeks we're going to be off the grid you will not be able to send me a text message or
we won't be able to call we'll be able to Whatsapp whatever you do right because we will be doing
this thing and we're off the grid because of it and and leave it at that right just let them know
and you can tell them you've looked into all the safety measures you feel like yo
u are making
the safest choice for you and your family and if they disagree that is okay they're allowed to
disagree with you as long as they don't disrespect you or your children because of this choice
if that makes sense so no scary text messages um that say this awful thing is going to
happen right so that I think is another anti-travel family situation that we have to
navigate and I know that they're not fun I mean guys so many of these examples I mean
these are these are real to me ok
ay this I have these people in my family so even though
we have been living this lifestyle even though I have a show about it like we still have very
close relatives who I would consider anti-travel um and all I can do is just be open and honest
the last situation that I can think about is just injury and sickness okay and I'm talking just
general injury General sickness okay kind of like I said before we have four kids and they get
sick um our youngest Ryan he is um I've never met a more i
ntroverted body as like it's weird as a
kid he loves to be around other kids but his body is like no no no no I'm an introvert and so if we
go if we have activities planned for more than two weeks in a row he gets a fever for like three days
it's the craziest thing so I know okay I have to block in time for Ryan to have some chill at home
days or else he's going to get a fever he's fine he just gets a fever it's it's really weird
it's happened to him ever since he was young um but I know th
at that happens I'm not gonna
call my family in the United States and be like oh my gosh Ryan is sick no he's fine he's
a kid he's a 10 year old that has a fever um three of our kids got some kind of like sinus
thing while we were getting ready to leave it was like our last week in Mexico City and three of
the kids got like some kind of weird sinus thing um so I took one of them to the doctor and the
doctor said yeah they all have it but here's the medicine they're going to be fine and I wa
s like
okay thanks and so I just tell my my family in passing oh yeah you know I took Ryan down to
the the pharmacist we got some of these meds not a big deal um now there might be other
situations where someone actually gets hurt um a kid breaks an arm breaks a
leg something like this happens and or you might be looking at uh maybe they need
their tonsils removed right that's a kid thing maybe they get appendicitis these things
happen and just because we're a traveling family doesn't mean
we are free from all just
the normal kid ailments and injuries right um and so for for us the way we handle it is
if it's something that we honestly believe is going to require a doctor we we wait and get all
the information that we feel our family and back in the states that they're going to ask so we'll
go to the doctor we talk to them we get the plan and then we call them because it doesn't do any
good to call them and be like hey we think Ryan has a broken arm but we're on our way to t
he
hospital right now that just puts them in a a fearful situation right now they're thinking oh
well we're in San Salvador right now they might be thinking oh well what kind of doctors does San
Salvador have do they have good facilities can we trust them like they might be thinking all these
questions right whereas if we just wait that's really going to bring down the drama situation
and then we can just say hey you know so we were out at the park Ryan was on a scooter he took a
fall the
arm just wasn't feeling right he was in a decent amount of pain so we just said uh we need
to get to the hospital so we went to the hospital that the embassy told us to go to which side note
I think you should always contact whatever Embassy is from your passport country contact them
and just ask them hey we're here as a family if someone gets hurt or sick which emergency
room and they'll tell you and so that's what I do so I I know what emergency room thankfully
here guys it's only like a
three minute walk so how convenient is that that was an accident um
but yeah so side note call your Embassy in the in the capital city of the country you're in
tell them where you are and where and that's where you should go if you're staying in the
Capitol it's really really easy because they can tell you like the best ones um but anyway so
we go to the hospital we get the information and then we call family back in the States and
we say okay here's what happened here's what they did here'
s what we know and for us that
works a lot better than like calling in root um so yeah so that that's my my big takeaways
for anti-family travel and friends in our first disaster Diaries I hope it was helpful to you
guys I I do believe that anytime we're faced with someone who is anti-travel in our life we
do have to weigh okay how much do I value this relationship is this someone like I want to to
stay in relationship with and the answer many times with our family is yes like this is the o
ne
I want to stay in a relationship with I don't want the fact that we're a digital Nomad family I don't
want that to break this relationship so because you want to fight for the heart and fight for
the relationship try to get to the root of their concern right and that's why asking them what's
the biggest concern you have about that letting them share their fears and then saying okay what
I hear you saying is and then fill in the blank I really think that that can be a helpful way to
talk
with people and to make sure that we're all on the same page with these what some people might
think are scary travel plans so I hope that that was helpful to you guys I'm so glad to be back
and I cannot wait to get into even more disaster diaries with you guys let me know what you
think um about that title I would really love it um again if you haven't subscribed please
go ahead and subscribe to the podcast would really appreciate that and I hope you guys
are doing well and as always trav
el joyfully
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