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Don't Scream but it's Actually DON'T LAUGH

Scary unreal engine 5 bodycam footage game turned giggle party. Follow me on twitch https://www.twitch.tv/astralspiff VODS youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV6g5Taa6MgWAnW2aey9hXw Extras youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpeoCHNJdF0CIrHAMNrPrMw Follow me on Twitter https://twitter.com/AstralSpiff Follow me on TIKTOK https://www.tiktok.com/@astralspiff Join us on discord! https://discord.gg/spiffcord GET MERCH HERE https://astralspiff.store/ Mostly Edited by: https://twitter.com/CompoundZebra?s=20 Music: Wind Spirits - Luella Gren House of Mirrors - Luella Gren I hate the world and everything in it - Superintendent Artisan Aesthetics - Dusty Decks 0:00 Beating normally 15:49 MAX sensitivity

AstralSpiff

4 months ago

[Spiff] "This is a game where you die if you make too  much noise. Oh, shit, okay. Hold on. And the game constantly jump scares you to try and bring  out - a scream! Ma'am! Ma'am! You're supposed to adjust the mic so anything over a whisper kills  you, and that's how I started out playing. After that though, I made a proper challenge out of it.  Turning the mic to 100%, max sensitivity! A fly buzzing in the air could kill me! My mouse clicks  had to be soft! And Paige moving around upstairs woul
d become my greatest adversary. Dude! Oh my  gosh! That and also laughing at chat - who tried their very best to get me to make just a peep, so  I'd flop over and die. This is don't laugh - casual, then max difficulty. Why is there a dog in the  credits here? We're Joure and Joe, two indie devs behind Don't Scream. Big thanks for considering   being part of our Early Access journey." [Dev] "Before playing Don't Scream, please play the game  the way we intended. This means setting up your microph
one correctly. You should be able  to speak only quietly, not loudly, with slight gasps or sudden sounds counting as screams. A  red flash will appear on the screen, signaling a scream. It's up to you to find a comfortable  balance between speaking softly and what should be considered a scream, when you calibrate your  microphone." [Spiff] "Ah! Okay cool. One. One? Really? One, one...? What if we just - no talking to chat stream.  Okay hold on. This 7%, this is pretty good. Rip to the guy who lo
st this game because  of a fart? Hehehe, that's funny. You're supposed to cross the line even if you breathe  too loud? Oh, well shit! Meh, meh. Should I, should I turn it - did I just die? You know what I  actually think this is probably an okay level. Damn it chat! I was here, I looked  over, and I saw somebody said: "Simply died.". God, I'm going to die to laughs, more than I'm going to  die to screams. Time doesn't move if I don't move? Omega try not to laugh challenge. True! Are  these like
chess pieces, like the chess pieces from Don't Starve?" [TTS] "Please speak up I can't hear  you." [Spiff] "No. I'll awkwardly flop onto the ground again. Fuck! Oh yeah, scream, oh  so scary! New PB guys! Fu - are you serious? I thought time didn't move if I didn't move! Alright this is the run." [TTS] "Spigg just mute  your mic, it's not that hard." [Spiff] "That's cheating. So is this like a plane crash? Oh yeah it is! This is  like the plot of uh... the forest. My son! My son! Where are you
my son? The cannibals, they got my son. Is  that a vending machine? Whoa! Whoa. Whoa! Whoa, whoa the cannibals did get my son holy shit, what  in the fluck. That is a vending machine. What? Are we watching a video or playing a  game? You know the fact that you're asking that, is good! It's good, yeah! Means my  movement is so fluid, you think it's a... show. Never mind the hanging bodies it's  a vending machine? Honestly after a pla- . Oh yeah, yeah, I'm for sure gonna  get spooky, that's defini
tely gonna be my main cause of death. Not just fucking  casually speaking. You know, I haven't - can I turn my gain any lower? Jesus Christ. I don't  know if I was able to finish my sentence but yeah, when it comes to a plane crash, like  it would be, it'd be quite the coincidence to end up having swinging bodies. But you know  what's more of a coincidence? Is the vending machine. So, I'm, learning, right? With this game?  And I think, it takes, uh sudden sounds, after you're quiet more seriousl
y. So I just have  to make sure I start sentences... quietly, and I'll be be okay. I can hear like a horn. What the  fuck is that? Hello? Here comes the jump scare chat! Oh! Like the, the cabin recorder or something." [TTS] "Jump scare." [Spiff] "It's somebody's birthday.  They're celebrating with some, some wine. Ah! [Laughs] Ah, they got me for real! For real, chat!  The first legit death." [TTS] "Okay chat, I think we all know what must be done. We gotta make  Spiff laugh." [Spiff] "I didn't
even jump. Well silly Disneyland, you should play this game then,  bruh! Okay chat we got to be, mega stoic. It says it in the title. I think that's the  right word to use in this situation? We gotta hmm. Hmm. You know what I'm saying? This  is the training. Or, yeah. This is the training round. Wait. Is she a threat or just a  jump scare? She's gotta just be a jump scare. Oh! Just gotta hit him with the pole! Yeah I  guess she's a, a ghost of plane crashers past. Is that, another vending machin
e?  Pog? The ghost of plinkmast past. Holy shit! Do we follow the signs? Oh it just got, way darker. Ho! Chat, ho! Holy shit Siren  Head? That would actually be kind of pog, I kind of miss Siren Head. So, this will be  one of the first games I play with Unreal Engine 5, I think. I don't actually pay that  much attention to it, but this game really prides itself, in being Unreal Engine  5! Oh, thank you for leaving it open for me! I'm gonna scream! Unreal Engine Five is so scary! Alright. Oh, oh
Jesus! Oh God! Are  they naked? Nudity, bro! My my terms of service! Nice. That's some tactical  booty covering. I do appreciate it cannibals. Can we get some groceries? Oh fuck yeah! Does any anybody need anything? Some bread? Loaf, hmm? Takis? Takis are,  takis are too much dude. Mac and cheese? Uh there's a lot of meat, questionably  sourced meat. There's somebody walkin' around. Or like, maybe water's dripping  somewhere? Nah, fuck it we might as well investigate. Apparently there's no threa
ts in  this game, only scares? So if we just stay strong, chat. Strong,  chat. It was just, the shopping cart. The ultimate bad guy is the shopping cart.  Yeah, well jump scares kind of need sound, and that one had no sound, and it was kind of funny.  Like that enemy wasn't part of the environment, it was like a, a, FNAF 6 PNG kind of thing. Well hello  Paige! Kay, be quiet, because I have to restart, if my mic picks up too much sound. Yes ma'am, okay  perfect. Oh imagine if Loaf killed me? Loaf
doesn't - . Okay! Loaf doesn't meow, loud enough for that.  Chat did I just get hit by like a basketball? Oh thank you Paige. Thank you. Thank you. We've acquir- I got  hit by air. We've acquired coffee chat. What's the goal? Is it just to survive, five nights? Like the  classic, critically acclaimed, recent, um, film? FNAF at Freuds?" [TTS] "Spiff would you say you're someone who  is effected by jump scares bc I have rarely seen you spooped." [Spiff] "Um... I guess, like, I play enough of,  ho
rror games that, like cheap jump scares always get me of course they do, cheap jump scares get  everyone. But, I play enough of these that, sometimes... not so much? But just in general it's way more fun  when you play horror games to lean into the fear, to get involved. That makes it more fun. So I do  always try to make them... mean something, yeah? Just watch him play Fears to Fathom he screams like a  bitch? Dude! Dude! My hand! My Loaf - do you see this? That was from Loaf in the Fears to F
athom vid! It's  like, gonna be a permanent scar! That was a deep cut! I'm sorry Loaf! Let's just go wandering into the dark forest. Okay so. That was cool. Bro was gettin' down in  the forest. Yeah, hittin' the monster da- the monster mash." [TTS] "Oh chat it's getting  spoopy." [Spiff] "Yeah you have to restart bruh. I felt that one. That one gave me like the  spoopy shiver. No scream. We remain - stoic. I think what it's - I don't know if that's, I don't, I don't  know. It's not my game. Not
my vision. But, if there aren't actually any real threats, like I think you  should have to be able - you, you should be required to, to distinguish between real threats - and not  real threats! I think that, that adds to the fear when you could also die to, you know, getting  your shit kicked in kind of thing. The real, mystery? Ma'am! Ma'am! Nice! Fuck yeah! That was cool! That was cool man that was cool! Oh my gosh, relax guys! Oh,  rip, rip, rip placing this tree bro. Rip, my immersion, no!
Six minutes until  what happens? So I dunno, do I just win? A child! Are you the child? Are you an alien?  Holy shit chat! That was the scariest part of this game, that child. You know, this game  already has like, more jump scare variety - than any other game I've played I think. We  haven't seen the same one twice. Which is, impressive. If we beat this so quick,  I'm gonna try like, 100% mic, mode. And floppin' over! It's over game, I win, I'm immune  now. Alright, gonna get super involved, su
per. Really gonna  push the boundaries of my - . We're turning the gain up on  the mic! It's true you - you do need - to you do need a distraction. Like the  whole airplane thing was perfect. Oh! Oh, hey. Three point five minutes of epic gaming remain. What  is up, my fellow ghosts? How is the forest treating you this fine evening? Yeah this  game is, is, it's just really cool. Um. Heh? Spiff can you be quitter I'm trying to sleep? Dude it's the  babies, it's not me. Blame the baby. You can't ge
t me, naked Naruto la- ." [TTS] "Oh and by the way, boo."  [Spiff] "Alright that was nice, that was good that was good. I did a, I did a recoil, but I  didn't do a, a scrim. It would be such a shame, if I screamed out now. I can't even  see though!" [TTS] "Hey Spiff this is the last steam I can watch, because yk. It's November in a  day." [Spiff] "Um, are you saying what I think you're saying? I saw that one! Yeah I'm also not sure how - and   then - I'm also not - ooh! Ooh, eeh, aah! Ooh! Gotta
, gotta rub myself off after that, disgusting display. What you  got? Ten seconds! Hit me with your best shot! Just hit me! Hit me! I'm W key on! Hit me! Hit me! Do your worst!  Shoot your shot, fire. Knock 'em out! Bang bang bang baby! Um, ah! Good morning! Repeated jump scares susge. Yeah. Well. They only started repeating them  when they got desperate at the end. Yeah. Have I won? I survived 48 scares! Pog! Yeah,  no, this is good. This is a good ass game. During our early access phase we'll
actively listen to  players feedback to enhance the game and plan on adding the following. Dynamic scares - that spider  one? Nasty. Even if it wasn't like, up in your face scary, like - it was, freaky. Ja feel? Now we gotta go  max gain. Hundred, hundred percent mic sensitivity! If I let out a mm!" [TTS] "Just eight deaths." [Spiff] "Or a bmm! Eight - k - well, seven of  them were because I laughed, Pepsi. Hundred percent chat! Bep! Beep! Boop! Bop! The air coming in my microphone, from fuck, 
who knows what, is enough, to keep me almost at the bar in the menu. It's gonna like, hear the jump  scares in my headphones and kill me. Is actually eighteen minutes? Okay this  is it chat, this is the gaming. Eighteen minutes of - pure silence! Now that's - I just wanted to  show it off? This is the run. I just wanted to show it off that it - if I breathe, in the mic,  it'll kill me. I did a little, a little sniff, a *sniff*. Oh, shit okay. Hold on. Dude  Loaf could actually kill us in this on
e. Yeah okay, I'll do interpretive dances to  explain anything. I'll, I'll use hand signals. Okay hold on. It heard my keys! Bruh! What the fuck is it hearing?  Just - my dude just like dolphin died. Okay. It like, takes in my audio a second after. Okay hold on. I'm gonna write you notes,  if necessary. First thing I wanted to say is: I think the timer only starts when it  gets dark outside. Notes? Oh I can just use my notes, on my phone, that's true.  Alright let's do a practice run. Good enoug
h. My timer is bugged? Oh  it's supposed to start when I move! Oh okay. I thought it only start when it  got darker. I'll, I'll just restart the game then. Dark mode might  work better for the notes? How's this? That's pretty good. Alright, let's  get up the, the death timer shall, or death counter shall we. So it hear - why did  it restart oh cuz I pressed a key. It hears me move my mic, or move my mouse.  It hears, it hears everything. It really does. It heard me pick up my phone. Ahh! I  was
gonna ask if I could grab a pop from it. Damn! K, actually  no doin' nothin'. Nothin', nothin' doin'. [TTS] "That  sounded just like the siren that goes off in my town at twelve o'clock  every day, and I was very confused as to why chat could hear my town  siren, and why it was going off at eleven." [TTS] "This is obviously Mimic Spiff, Smim if you will. He's not speaking, because we'll  figure it out if he does." [TTS] "Blink twice if you need help." [Spiff] "What?! What? What did I even do? Oh
my gosh, why?! [TTS] "I got this new anime plot where  there's this girl with huge honkers. A real set of badonkers. Packin' some  dobonhonkeros. Massive dohoonkabhankoloos. Big ol' tonhongerekoogers. What happens next?! Transfer student shows up with even bigger bon-." [TTS] "Waltah we gotta cook." Oh no, dude! It was, it was fuckin', it was - hello  chat! No! Which message was it? Goddamn! Hello everyone, my name is Astral and today, today  I'm sitting quietly in a dark room. That's what got
me. It's your fault. Alright. I was  thinking as well, I can't sip my coffee while we're doing this. Damn damn damn damn dammit.  It was like my exhale that got me. Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male, human, and  female pokemon breeding? So true. Okay well, you know. Dude! Oh my gosh! Paige closed the  door. Like, across the basement. Okay I'm not gonna fully close my door, but  I'm gonna mostly close it. Oh my God. That was also Paige. From upstairs. Holy  crap, man! I gotta, I'm gonn
a text her right now. Please make minimal noise, I am dying  because of you opening doors upstairs. You closing doors upstairs! She says haha damn!  Get a better game! No Paige, we're pushing the limit!" [TTS] "United States Canada Mexico Panama  Haiti Jamaica Peru. Republic Dominican Cuba Caribbean Greenland El Salvador 2. Puerto Rico  Columbia Venezuela IA Honduras Guyana and still. Guatemala Bolivia, then Argentina, then  Ecuador Chile Brazil." [Spiff] "That might have been the vibration of m
y phone, k. Sound and haptics.  Don't vibrate on silent. We need nothing. We need nothing." [TTS] "Mauricio, I'm paralyzed from the neck  down, and I cannot move it move it anymore." [TTS] "Rats, rats we're the rats! Celebrating  yet another birthday bash! Michael, it's your birthday today, cake and ice cream is on its way." [Spiff] "I couldn't! I couldn't! I couldn't! I couldn't!" [TTS] "Chat wins!" [Spiff] "Oh, God! Ah! Damn it! Damn it, damn  it, damn it! This first one I looked over and saw:
Sir, another moose. I don't know why I'm  so giggly today. Ah! First when I looked over, and saw: Sir another moose has hit the tower.  Then the fuckin' Mauricio. Ah! It's so long! To stay completely quiet! We gotta focus up, damn! And I'm so worried  like - Paige is out right now. Feel free to do some shopping, so I can beat this. Oh, it  is a very, try not, very good try not to laugh. [TTS] "They really bringing the mannequin  challenge back huh? Good for them." [TTS] "Me: I want to be a stre
amer someday also me: sitting  in silence, in the dark, alone with the voices in my head." [TTS] "I spent bits on this and you don't laugh but fucking sir a moose has hit the tower gets you. What a scam you pepega." [TTS] "Lest we forget Spif trying shoy shauce." [TTS] "Spigg what do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated." [Spiff] "I, I touched. I - look at this, look at this, look at  this. This - and I put my mou- my hand underneath it to touch my mouse - and I touched it. I fuckin'
, I  touched the pole of my microphone. Oh man! This is the last attempt, last attempt of - you  know last, last attempt once I get going, you know what I'm sayin'." [TTS] "So are we gonna do this with  media share after you beats difficulty TTS difficulty?" [Spiff] "TTS difficulty." [TTS] "No little Timmy it's alright. There's only seven seconds of the prediction left there's no way Spiff would  fumble and land us in crippling debt. We're gonna get those balls and you're gonna  live your dreams
of finally going to medical school like you always wanted." [TTS] "Balls  are delicate, sensitive, easy to damage, someone's taking a chunk out of that one.  That's why I use the lawn mower for point." [Spiff] "Paige! Say welcome home to Paige, chat. I want to beat this! I want to beat  this and like, I'm doing so good every time, but these are so out of my control!  Watch her be like: it's not me in the house. I had to close the back door to come  in, your game is crap. Paige does not like bei
ng held responsible, for the game." [TTS] "I've been  in here all stream, but I left for like one second, and I thought the title said  don't cream. I had my mouse covering the s." [TTS] "Sir a fourth moose hit the coffee shop next to the  first tower, we don't know where the third moose is." [Spiff] "I'm fairly certain that was a sound  from upstairs. Oh God, I don't think we can do this with other people in the  house, moving. I was texting her, I was like - at fifteen minutes, I was like: shu
sh, please!  For fifteen minutes! She said: haven't been doing anything. I said: nine minutes, please continue to  do nothing. Then I said: four minutes, please no move. Hey Paige, what's up?" [Paige] "I'm going to murder you." [Spiff] "I'm gonna murder you!" [Paige] "David!" [Spiff] "Yeah? So little did I know that Paige had not been having the  best of days. She'd been tasked with taking Loaf for her trim, and while handing her over  had dropped and smashed her phone. Then coming home, to me r
ipping on her, for killing  me in my video game - was not exactly the most happy making thing, and she let me know about  it. Especially given that she had no control over the sound that had killed me at two minutes  left." [TTS] "What in the world is all this talk about mooses? Did I miss something?" [Spiff] "Uh, the, the shed  arrived. And so she had to answer the door, to, to accept it. With two minutes left! Uh, I just  don't know if we can accom- succeed in this. If we can beat this - but l
ike, you know we don't include...  we - I didn't factor in package RNG, chat! Okay. I'm gonna close the door, cuz loaf is in here  right now, and this will be the last try. If we make it past like ten minutes and die - we're playin'  something else. Damn deliveries! Dude. That's insane that it's picking up doors upstairs. Just nuts  dude." [TTS] "Hi! It's been so long since I've catched one of ur streams." [Spiff] "Lol." [Animation] "Put my cat on the mic." [Spiff] "Oh my God! Yes! I can speak!
Finally, dude! Oh,  that was so hard! Like, k. Someone would say something in chat, and I'd feel my voice  like, come up into my throat! And I uh! Had to stop from talking! Holy crap dude! I saw somebody say  you should speedrun this game, and I almost lost it right there. At four minutes I texted Paige. Okay,  thank you, love you, I'm done, you can make sound. Okay. Ooh! That was tough. That was, that was pretty uhh,  was pretty nuts. Uh, you're not gonna stay wide, no, sorry chat. You're going
back to, to tiny  mode. I can't believe that took almost two hours and forty-five minutes! That was so nuts. It felt like you  weren't? Well, okay I was moving really smoothly, because if I made a, a, a, a tight movement, I  fuckin' - make sound! Like I've never pressed my keys on this keyboard so gently before. I had  to nicely move my hand, nicely. My keyboard's not that loud but like - anyway. Anyway, anyway,  I'm fuckin' out. That was nuts, that was insane.

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