(Harmony) - You look great. (Millie) - Have you done something to your hair? Your teeth look whiter. Your jaw looks stronger. Have you been working out? That shirt is amazing. Your hair is fantastic. I will be the mother to all of your children. (Miles) - Harmony, Millie, please... Your compliments are not unflattering, but truthfully... it's just such a pleasure to be back
here amongst all of your wonderful faces. (Epic Voiceover) - His name is Miles Standopolis. (Epic Voiceover) - And he is
a big damned hero. (Epic Voiceover) - After leaving the group, Miles walked the globe. (Epic Voiceover) - Stopping off in the Arctic to help rehabilitate tragic penguins (Epic Voiceover) - who had become addicted to tap dancing and methamphetamines. (Epic Voiceover) - His work complete, Miles wanted no reward
greater than a fine cup of Yorkshire Tea. (Epic Voiceover) - Which he drank on the moon. (Epic Voiceover) - He is the greatest human, who ever has lived. Especially after all that unpleas
antness with Phil. *screams* When you blocked me on Facebook it felt like a steel fist punched me right in the heart. Oh, Max... let's not allow our real world friendship
to be tainted by these "virtual relations." I missed my friends, and your incessant blogging reminded me
of that which I had so tragically lost. Aw... DUHHH... (Miles) - So...who's the fifth? Ha! Ha... ha. What? This can't happen. I can't be the fifth. I was here before him. Actually... He quit! Doesn't that reset his stats
or something? Or does his awesome hair grant him some sort of immunity... I hate how awesome his hair is. I just
want to chew it off his smug head. I've checked the Book of Tabular Law, and according
to Millie this is all above board. Give me that. I know contracts - there's got
to be a loophole in here somewhere. *computer calculating noise* Miles submitted the paperwork for an E.L.O.A.D.T.T.O.S.I. A what? Extended Leave Of Absence Due To Tears On Shirt Incident. You guys actually have a
n acronym for that? Miles had three months to return to the group
and reclaim his rightful place without contest. Unless... Unless... It'd never work. Forget I said anything. This isn't the loophole you're looking for. This isn't the loophole I'm looking for... No! Not that again. This is all I've got. I mean, not all. I mean I've got macramé on
Wednesdays but that's moved to Tuesdays now and... JUST TELL ME WHAT TO DO! Last week you posted on LiveJournal about how sad this all was. You call
ed us the Sgt Pepper's Lonely Nerd
Club Band. Which doesn't even make sense. Besides, who uses Livejournal nowadays? Come on... you guys weren't supposed to see that. Harmony didn't see it did she? Did you wake up missing any toes? No... There's your answer. Just tell me what to do. Here! Sweet bejeebus. I'm doomed. In order to claim my place in the
group and have Miles declared the fifth... Everyone has to like me better? You got my vote, buddy! (Harmony) - What are you two talking about? S
am is looking to push through a "vote of most awesomeness." Oh right? In his favour. Riiiiight... Against Miles. *sniggers* *giggles* *laughs* *cackles madly* *howls hysterically* Well, good luck to you sir! I have a plan. *door opens and closes* You didn't have to laugh at him. I'm mad at him. He insulted us using Beatles-related humour. Yeah I know but... Ooooh, you saw that? But he's still bipedal? He's in a bad place, so he gets three strikes. No strikes for you! Meh. (Miles) - And that's ho
w I saved a family
of disabled rhinoceri from a polar bear (Miles) - in the mountains of Indonesia while
flying aid parcels to blind sea turtles. What I wouldn't give to be a blind turtle. Hmm? Nothing. You should write a book. Where's the fifth at? He seems like a great guy and all, but he's no
Phil. Phil was the best. We should get him back. *SCREAMS* Non-crying Phil. Yeah, totally. No! What's that, Maximus? You walked out on us, Miles. You just strolled out of here with your James Dean
swagger your small, firm buttocks wiggled through that door and you never looked back. Life's too short for buttock jealousy and regrets, Max. Yeah, and I don't want having sent my best friend in the whole world out there to be eaten by the wolves of rejection. Sorry Max, sometimes when you speak I can almost
hear soaring music in the background. Poetry. Miles, in his infinite wisdom, did submit the correct paperwork for his LOAD. Wow. Hi guys. So, I was thinking we all got off on the wrong fo
ot. For the last six weeks? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Harmony you're SO FUNNY! So anyway... I've got you all some presents. For Max, sugary cocktail goodness. Oh, coconutty! For Harmony, we have rum and tequila. Neat. Hells yeah! For Miles, we have gin... Straight, with a carrot in it. Because you kind of look like that kind of guy. (Miles) - If that guy looks amazing doing this... I am SO that guy. And for Millie... alcohol free pineappley yumminess. Yay! Sam...how did you have time to do all this? Let
's not dwell on that. I brought the new Kingdom of Rain expansion pack. Let's all get wet! Because of the name of the game. Kingdom of Rain. Not sexually wet. Obviously. (Epic Voiceover) - And so our brave heroes embark on a most epic quest. (Epic Voiceover) - To get completely shitfaced. (Epic Voiceover) - To laugh in the face of sobriety. (Epic Voiceover) - And to punch rational thinking square in the parts. (Epic Voiceover) - Will they succeed? (Epic Voiceover) - Who will live, and who will d
ie? (Epic Voiceover) - My money is on Sam. (Epic Voiceover) - Because... well, look at him! (Epic Voiceover) - Guy is clearly falling apart. (Epic Voiceover) - Looks like he sleeps in a homeless persons sock.
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