Einstein and the Woke Bomb: A Netflix Masterpiece

these ladies are your bodyguards I made one great mistake Albert Einstein the genius of gravity the mro of Relativity the man with the most famous tongue action of all time for 70 years no one cared about the brain behind equals mc² and the father of modern physics was untouchable now Netflix drops a truth bomb that makes the atom bomb look like a fart bubble in ber bathtub here is Einstein and the bomb another mustsee Netflix Classic this is the whole truth and nothing but the truth every event

is as real as I'm a real boy here we are Professor welcome to rout and Heath The Genius of geniuses arrives in rout and Heath and his accommodation is a right old heap of [ __ ] isn't it wonderful a violin for the physicist virtuoso did they think he was moart how is he as you'd imagine Stark raving Bonkers I assure you Professor you are perfectly safe from the long arm of fascism here Albert is safe but who are these fine ladies are they part of the entertainment hello Professor hello Professo

r ah students ready to learn from The Grandmaster of general relativity they're as lucky as lucky can be these ladies are your bodyguards wait what oh yes that's right the history books show that Einstein wait hold on a minute they show that Einstein had uh bodyguards ah there you see this Photograph proves it two men holding shotgun ah but look there clearly the woman is in charge now it all makes sense if any unauthorized person comes near believe me Professor they will most certainly get a ch

arge or two of Buckshot perhaps Albert is also the architect of time travel for in 1933 these whose strong and independent ladies sound like they are from the future believe me Professor the physicist Prince of Princeton has never met such beautiful and brave bodyguards hope you understand he's the smartest man alive he smartly lets the women take charge keep a close eye out ladies I'm lying on your PA without these two Noble Warriors the noble prize-winning Professor would have been hobnobbing

with assassination Albert Goes for a walk down the beach in his high heels the running with the women has had an instant effect I should live only in a country where civil liberty tolerance and equality of all citizens before the law Prevail Albert Einstein father of modern feminism I'm not only a pacifist but a militant pacifist the professor may have been a genius but he did like an oxymoron when did you start thinking about time and space and all those things Professor one question from a wom

an and Einstein is off like a shot was it something she said as a child a four or five my father in his movement the father of Relativity has an uncanny resemblance to Father Jack don't tell me I'm still on that fcking island when I was four or five I couldn't my own shoelaces all right Albert that's enough laughing you sexist showoff how was Einstein school life you'll never amount to anything Einstein you're an extremely clever boy you have one great for you'll never let yourself be told anyth

ing you can ask him the most difficult questions in the universe just don't ask him about school or he'll go full Peter sers you'll never amount to anything it is only men who are free oh is that right Einstein it's now clear the only subject Albert failed in school was gender studies according to the theory of relativity there is no essential distinction between mass man and woman mass and energy oh mass and energy more misogyny headline today lights all a skew in the heavens men of science men

of science what about women Professor could you possibly explain your theory to the man or possibly the woman in the street that's better a woman in the street not in the kitchen she's a bodyguard pounding ass into concrete an hour sitting with a pretty girl on a park bench passes like a minute but a minute sitting on a hot stove seems like an hour that's relativity a pretty girl eh how about an hour with an average girl or a body positive girl or a girl who is no longer a girl the Timeless gen

ius always makes time for sexist remarks very funny very funny in the modern world such comments would result in a lengthy selfie apology back then men laughed like male chauvinist hyenas like the man in the fairy tale who tend everything into gold every famous fairy tale has a princess of course the Princeton genius chooses one with a man ah Einstein on one of his famous walks not with Oppenheimer but in step with his lovely bodyguards the more he walks the more he talks the more the women real

ize Albert is mansplaining sorry Professor but are you saying it could be possible to somehow release that energy almost impossible that we should ever succeed in so doing still energy released on that scale sounds rather worrying how the world would have looked very different if brainy Bertie had listened to a woman bang bang berti ain't dead cuz the expert Marx women will shoot instead spending some more time chatting with the professor mrey he's been explaining the finer points of his theory

of relativity to us and and I'm quite certain that he understands [Music] it Einstein Had a Brain from the heavens but his need to mansplain is hell for 1930s marks women bodyguards like marjerie Epstein Epstein no no Einstein Einstein says his name like he just licked the window on Forest scump School Bus Einstein are you stupid or [Applause] something Einstein's theory of relativity is nothing less than scientific D ISM you what ismism you know I don't have any idea what that means d da is D i

s it discrimination against babies the pacifist Professor also practitioner of passive smoking uh Professor do you think you might put out your pipe I was rather view the individual in a fog and semi Darkness sending the light a Visionary genius and even more Visionary maker of excuses no wonder he had problems in school Albert tops up his sontan on a beach that looks like the top of his own head I am going to Japan because that means 12 weeks of Peace On the Open Sea Jesus Christ get back when

I was young all I wanted from life was to sit quiet Moral Stories from Uncle Albert well during if you say during the war once more I'm going to pour this cup of tea right over your Albert speaks at the Royal Albert Hall and like a true Royal Albert practices his speech need the opportunity and opportunity I am glad I am gladun and opportunity I am glad how come we save mankind mankind what about womankind people kind or the kind of people who don't identify as people feel like I identify as a c

at I snack a lot one can only hope that the present crisis will lead to a better world a world of hugs handshakes and tearful bodyguards after years of scientific Endeavor the Manhattan Project has delivered an atomic bomb sorry Professor but energy released on that scale sounds rather worrying finally the grandfa of the atomic bomb will answer for his theoretical scientific and Noble prizewinning crimes I made one great mistake in my life had I known I never would have lifted a finger but you d

id know Albert didn't you your woman bodyguard told you in 1933 if you spent more time listening instead of man explaining the world would have been a better place for everyone one thing I have learned in a long life okay now you get it is that all our science measured against reality is childlike oh come on you crack the code of the universe but you can't see your sexist ways have cost us our planet one more chance Albert we must not condemn man that does it birdie equal mc² is equals MC circle

d for cancellation the fate of mankind hinges entirely upon man's moral development Eureka Bingo winner winner Einstein spinner the fate of the world lies in man's moral development not woman's but men's perhaps woman can offer man some tips Albert Einstein one of History's Greatest minds but L we never forget that he made a massive mistake of misogyny behind this great man were two great women bodyguards and if had heeded their advice there would have been peace on Earth and Paradise fear not h

owever for it's not too late a streaming giant is leading the way to a brighter day A Better Tomorrow documentaries that bring a rainbow and end the sorrow thank you Netflix for saving the world one special documentary at a time very funny very funny indeed