Let’s see, people, Antonio and I have been thinking about making a documentary about us after finishing “Malviviendo” Sure, like…a reality show with us here at the studio, working, everyday routine…well, something like the ones they run at “Xplora”, a reality… But…shooting here at the office? Yeah… But there's no work now… How can it be interesting? It’s a little silly, plus we talked about bringing up things that were profitable. Profitable how? Like that cock that has been in the whiteboard fo
r two months? Plus, if you check it out, the perspective is becoming kind of threatening by now… Alright, look…it’s better than nothing. Until something comes up… Let’s continue with the meeting, ok? One little thing, the fella with the mic…who is he? Because I’m the sound expert here. Oh, this is my pal. “El Pelu”. He came…he came to help, cause… because we want you to be on screen, so you appear in the documentary…that sort of thing. Hey, cool. Sweet. Please, look, here’s written “Tere”. Each
one of you have their own bottle. Ok? Well, let’s talk this out first and… I mean, stop shooting meanwhile we decide if we… Why? The meeting is important, and that’s the thing. Shooting important things. Let’s see… We could use this stuff that we don’t know what to do with, like when you cut off your dreadlocks. We use that…in the intro, it looks beautiful. That’d be cool. And we can play a song from your band, dude. Alright, c’mon. Let’s continue with the meeting, please. Next issue, today arri
ves a new scholar. His name is Oscar. -Where does he come from?-Private University. Guys, please…cut it. Stop shooting. So, I was the one who talked with you on the phone, the mails, the agreement…all that. Look, there’s the rest of the team. He is Antonio, and he is Tomás. And he is Óscar. -The…the new school…-Shi…awe… What are you doing? Is this for an episode or what? Hey “Kaki”, don’t come and hit me, you bastard. Dude, so weird without the wheelchair, huh? -Dude, call me a motherfucker, ple
ase “Kaki”, call me a motherfucker-Really…? C´mon don’t be shy. As if we were family. Kick it. Well…Fuck off motherfucker. Awesome…Dude, “Zurdo”, where’s your football t-shirt man? By the way, what team do you support? Dude, be careful with the camera, don’t drop it. -No, wait…-Haha, dangerous. Let’s see Óscar, let me introduce you to the rest. Look, this is the common space, where we take our meetings. There’s Santi, the sound guy. He's Oscar. That’s production area, you can’t smoke in there, t
hat’s my office. And this is post-production. There’s Eva and there’s Javi. Shit! Javi Lería! Dude, you’re the fucking boss. The fucking boss! Don’t ask, hehehe, don’t ask. “El Rata”. So big. This is awesome. Oh, look, David. Óscar has arrived. The new one… scholar. What’s up man? What’s up, “Negro”, man. You’re my idol. You’re fu…the fucking boss. The fucking boss. For real. Oh, shit, and there he is, “El Negro”, smoking a joint, at 9:00 AM. Dude, like in the series. C’mon, pass it. C’mon bro.
Pass it. Not 1, not 2, neither 3, but 3. Careful… You're gonna break it! Santi, man, shut up. The poor guy is suffering here. The usual “scholar-pass-out”. That makes 7. Actually it’s your fault for offering him. -Offering? He took it from…-He is a scholar. He thinks it’s a test, or…that is impolite to reject it. Damn me if I know. Poor thing. -How are you, Óscar? Are you feeling better?-Yeah, yeah, I’m fine… It took me off guard. -But cool, fuckin’ A, “Negro”, for real.-You sure? -Thank you, ma
n.-Eat chocolate, or anything. -Yeah, this will go away quickly.-C’mon brother. C’mon brother. Passing out in front of “El Negro”. C’mon boy, don’t worry. Is good that you passed out, that’s part of life. . Life is too short, and we’re too fragile. But I don’t want the guys from “Malviviendo” to see me throw up. This sucks so bad! Does it suck? Ebola sucks. Look I had a near-death experience that made me change my life, you know? When you live such a traumatic event, you start rethinking a lot o
f things. Dude, I need to go to the WC. Hey, hey, hey. Listen. Here I am opening myself to you and… What did you come here for? To learn, right? So be it, I’m teaching you. -Yes, but…-It was a few months ago already. I was at my place, chilling and watching TV when suddenly, the upper stomach began to hurt really badly. So, in the beginning I didn’t pay any attention. It became worse, so I did the only logic thing. I entered the Web and started looking in medical websites, y’know, Wikipedia, Yah
oo Answers…you know? And all the sites I checked would tell me the same diagnosis: stomach cancer. Terminal phase. So I went to the hospital ER thinking that I was dying, thinking about all the things that I was leaving behind, my family… Only so you can imagine how much I was taking on the idea of dying, that I started thinking of a generic message to say goodbye to all my Whatsapp contacts. As soon as the doctor called me in, I came into his office and told him: “Doctor, I have stomach cancer
terminal phase. I don’t think there’s nothing we can do by now…” And…what happened? In the end it was only gas. But the important thing about all this is that I, for a moment, thought that I was going to die, you know? ? An-And in my opinion, I did overcome cancer. Huh? And that made me rethink many things in life. -I, right now, have a lot in consideration little details, the family, I enjoy…-Dude, -I’m gonna throw up.-Yeah, yeah! -Throw up, and enjoy it!-Enjoy it Because vomit spits out… food
from the past. In the same way as remembering spits out moments and feelings that makes us who we are. Throwing up makes you feel alive! Hahahaha, Carpe Diem, boy, Carpe Diem. Carpe Diem to you too, Tomás. Shit what a moment, man! So, how you doin’? Buufff you really DID throw up. You spitted out your soul. I’m sure you feel a lot better now. One more story that you have to tell from now on. Well, this is the production office. Here’s Teresa Segura. This is her stuff. And Tere is kind of the eng
ine of the company. The brains, sort of speaking. Hi Tere, say hi here… to…well… nothing then. See ya. We leave you working. -Bye...-I'm sorry. Jeez... It was fucking annoying for us to go to a friend’s house, who had bought a videogame, and then we would be there sitting and waiting, cause it was for “1-Player”. Know what I’m saying? And you were sitting there, next to him, watching him play, and you’d have to wait for the guy to get bored or go to the toilet so we could play a little game of o
ur own. Or even a little time of HIS game. And we used to feel like dorks. -Didn’t you feel like a dork when that shit happened?-Actually yes. Well, now, subscribers from gamers, what they watch, is THAT. What they watch is a guy playing a videogame, and they don’t even have the chance to be allowed to play for a while, you know? And that’s my point. That’s the difference between our generation and the next one. You missed it, cause we were laughing our asses out, the guy is a genius. You always
miss the best ones. Actually, I had a date with Susana yesterday. Susana who? Susana…? Shit Tere! Javi had a date with Susana yesterday. Dude, this is getting serious, right? Well…kinda. I’ll tell you later, when these two stop shooting. But, dude, later if we can use it we use it, and if not we don’t. Sure, we’re here recording everything so you get used to the cameras. But, dude, for real, it’s some heavy shit. Really What do you mean…? But man…if it’s…Tell us…Who cares, man? It’s going to be
you who cut this. In the end you’ll use the bits you want. You've got the power Fine… Well we met, for the third time already, and I invited her to my place. And…nothing man. Everything was going fucking A but… it brought me down because… because right before fucking she asked me… some pretty weird shit. She asked me to fake… to fake a voice, like a funny voice. She asked me to fake a funny voice. A fu-A funny voice. A funny voice? Dude like…like as if I was retarded. She told me she was into t
hat kind of thing. I thought she was messing around but nope. But…As if you were retarded? You faking a retard voice while you two were fucking? How is that…? Dude, I don’t know. Actually you shouldn’t be recording this. Well and what did you do? Nothing man. We fucked but I didn’t make any voice or anything. Your “Javi-voice”. My normal voice. Your “Javi-while-fucking” voice. And that’s it. Today she doesn’t answer my messages or anything. She’s online but she doesn’t…She’s acting weird to me.
Well, better for you, right? She’s bat-shit crazy. But damn, besides that bullshit she’s an awesome girl. But let’s see. A problem like that…that level. It can be a key factor. I, as a matter of fact, used to date a guy… And I really digged him: he was super hot, super handsome, really funny, lots of cash… But man, every time we were having sex he would start saying: “Incoming cock! Incoming cock! Incoming cock! Incoming cock!” Like that all the time, you know? Non-stop. In the end it distracted
me. “Call me a whore, call me anything, but please cut that Incoming cock! Incoming cock! Incoming cock! Incoming cock! Incoming cock!” Yeah, yeah… It's... So…What are you gonna do? I don’t know, I mean… the thing is that I fancy her, but after this…I don’t know. But dude, let’s see. It sucks, but let’s figure it out. Maybe if you like her so much, maybe you should consider… I mean, it’s an issue… It would be worse if… There IS worse than that. I don’t think it’s that bad. How would it be that
voice? Something like I don’t know. How would you make that voice? I don’t know, it would be something like Dude, I don’t know. -I’m embarrassed only by trying. I feel bad. Why do I…?-What you should do... Why do we have to do this? Because…just because, man. Fight for what you want, man. Let’s search it online. What are you going to search? What am I going to search? What am I going to search for, Javi? Retard voice?ç The voice of a retard fucking. In YouTube. Where should we search? In Wikiped
ia? Nothing comes out, only Justin Bieber-related things. Let’s see. YouTube is not the place to look out for that. There is no porn in YouTube. For that, you should search in “sexfreak.org”, and once there you click in “Categories”. And perhaps, I don’t know, but perhaps… I don’t know, I’m just trying to help. But I don’t know. I just heard… Huh, Tere? What we oughtta do is go having lunch in the Chinese today. Cause if we spend the whole week eating out there, the normal thing would be… David,
man… Dude! They filmin’ all this. Don’t shoot no more. Delete it. Yeah, we’ll go later. Oscar! Come here a sec please. Look, fill this with your data and sign here, where it says “student”. Ok, cool. Hey, so…amazing, huh? That “Negro”…I mean, that David and you are a couple in real life as well. Just like in the series! Jeez! Tere, I’ll have some of your water, fine? Um, there’s in the fridge bottles for everyone… never mind. Tere… Well it’s a silly thought , but it just came to me. . If I drin
k from the bottle, and it’s your bottle, is just like if I blew David, right? Since you’re a couple, and that. And you blow him and… Yep, I got it… Actually if you want… it’s nearly your end of day. You can go if you want. No, no, no. Don’t worry, it’s fine. I’m happy here, with the people. It’s just that we’re having a meeting now, only the partners, to discuss serious issues. And well, we want more privacy. You come back tomorrow at 9:00 AM, half-past nine… twelve. We’re pliable. Cool. I’ll be
taking this. The pen. See you tomorrow. People! See you tomorrow! You’re the masters! What a creepy guy, am I right? Creepy? The guy is a pain in the ass. I don’t know what’s wrong with us but we always get this kind of people, man. Why don’t we get normal scholars? Do they send us the ones that nobody else wants? He makes me nervous, dude. Super intense, right? It’s an example of the “Pokémon-Generation” at its best. Crazy son of a bitch. Probably he is the craziest from all the ones that came
‘til now. How long is he staying? 3 months. The usual. Dude! Fuck! Oscar, Oscar, Oscar, wait. How was your first day with the…family? Awesome, “Zurdo”, really, awesome! Crazy! I can’t even put it out with my words. It was the best fucking day ever. And it’ll be for three months. Three months. I just can’t wait for coming tomorrow again. I was a bit nervous there, in the beginning, the excitement, “El Negro”, passing out and stuff, but cool, you know? Everybody was super close, super friendly. T
hey made me feel as one of them. And that’s something you can feel, and I have it right here, you know? We are a familia. A familia. And you know me, “Zurdo”, today is a turning point for me. I’ve been dreaming about this day my whole fucking life. And I think… I deserve it. Don't shoot, man, please. Cut There you go. See you tomorrow. See you tomorrow, man. What a character… So... look, is he coming back? Hello, honey. Are you horny? Incoming cock. Incoming cock. Incoming cock. Still with that
fucking shit? For real? Incoming cock...
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