stay home today Guido hey
old-fashioned things are the best [Music] so this is the second vacation that I've watched
every Jurassic Park Peter you're awesome you're so funny hey Kimmy I'll pay you a thousand
dollars for one whole handful of your butt for two handfuls I'll give you my car all right
that's enough so how are the new pairings working out are you all gaining lots of insights no I can
see now that coming here was a huge mistake yeah helpless Peter your feet look old this Retreat
is over fire up the boat we're going home [Music] Mrs Griffin please I urge you
to finish the program no thank you I never should have come
here or at least not with him [Music] oh my God we're taking this island back
yeah kill the whites race war [Music] foreign you gotta help us man those natives are pissed this
is like a full-blown Revolution you think me throwing full sodas into the
garbage had anything to do with this quick into the jungle [Music] what are we gonna
do wait a minute y
esterday near the North Beach I saw a small Landing Strip giggity it might
be our best chance to get off giggity the island did you really see I don't know baby
I'm crazy with the heat take your pants off oh my God this is legit ridic I gotta post this Twitter feed is so funny that's impossible here was a bad idea like when I
brought Museum Behavior into my home excuse me we do ask that you
don't touch anything [Music] I gotta say Carter you've done a good job we've
become slaves to our Ele
ctronics but you know what we're doing here we're reclaiming our
lives you're kind of an egghead aren't you Brian vroom everyone on this plane is wearing
a suit so hey that reminds me everyone time to dress for dinner oh I want to light the
candles pop pop oh boy I haven't had this much fun since I played with that Buble
wrap I just haven't met you yet oh cool your mom thinks of me when she's doing your
dad what seriously I drive older women nuts I can make your mom and Aunt kiss this
is a
very skeevy packing product [Music] oh my God this is this is mail what I'm just
saying how's the post office supposed to know in my DVR it'll be full in a week I record Ellen
every day I know I shouldn't but whenever she dances I'm like go ahead girl it's your world
I heard she gay well it seems like we're pretty talked out [Music] thanks for changing
your mind about drowning me in that River hey did you see those pictures of me doing
duck lips by a pool I don't know some Island you Rebel
scum yeah you're too
young you don't know [Music] so how did you guys get captured
Quagmire screams when he urinates how about you Cleveland kept stopping to
scratches back on trees Lewis don't do it right come here baby you need them
Lee press-ons there it is [Music] oh Peter I was so worried about you what was
when we got captured I said you Rebel scum and Kimmy didn't get it that's funny from
the Star Wars well just Star Wars doing this let us go every year we have to deal
with your A
merican tourists stuffing your slob faces taking video you'll never watch
and asking if I'm the Captain Phillips guy I'm not take the couples out two
by two and execute them [Music] oh my god well at least I ain't
going out with the Itchy back [Music] oh no this is terrible no no
maybe they just shot Donna twice buddy quick lock my wheels we
don't have to make it easy for them scuffing up those floors pretty good point they're really going at Donna any last words moist [Music] well Peter I'
m so sorry I lied to get
you to come here I should have been honest with you please forgive me I
do Lois I know you were just trying to do something good for our marriage and
I'm sorry I've been such a jerk about it I need you Lois I always will and if I
gotta get shot by ooga booga people [Music] I love you so much Lois I love you too
Peter Lois I think you should know I never cared for your most recent haircut
see that I've had the same haircut for 20 [Applause] . congratulations Griffin
s you did it you've
successfully completed the program what oh my God we just found out too the whole thing
was staged Noel dying the uprising all of it oh that's what they meant on their website staged
Revolution marital counseling it all makes sense yes sorry to deceive you all but we find that
when couples don't respond to traditional counseling the stress of extreme danger reminds
them of what matters most in their lives their love for each other I feel like I should
be mad but I guess
you're right Lois and I have never felt closer and I did get to
kill a guy what thanks for everything Noel [Music] well kids it's Dingus Day here are your
[ __ ] willow branches find your sweetie and give her a Beaty oh sauceparilla I was going to take
sister hey you little rats all right Lois let's just leave our bags here and wonder where our
clothes are for the next two days how was your trip father we've prepared A Song For You nope oh
boy it's nice to be home sure is Lois now Shish TV
television how pathetic yeah you know where the
most interesting stuff is Dad the human hat we now return to police chases no thank you we are a
screen free family that end in fire that's awesome nobody look at him and maybe he'll just leave good job people the water pack
happy anniversary Lois everybody meet back here in six hours I can't wait to get
everyone else's body water in my mouth [Music] where's the slide just eat this Starburst
wow lemons oranges cherries so juicy I don't think
that was established I think that
may have just been acid would you like to ride the Skittles rainbow now is it also acid my friend
I'm an adult who works at a water park if I give you something it's acid [Music] no going down
head first and wait till I say it's okay go go go hey I'm Gaming on You Brian Meg
slow down you're coming way too fast ew Brian what happened I don't know hey
idiot you gotta wait till the guy says go excuse me do you think you can help me out sure just let me do an a
wkward extremely
unattractive pool walk over to you I think I may have seen you put it in your shorts okay well here's my shorts Just
Fish Out the one that's yours thank you so much I'm Isabella I'm Chris Hey listen my aunt is waiting for me but it
was nice to meet you Chris you too enjoy the boobs of your morning afternoon
enjoy the boobs of your afternoon so that girl was totally into you you should
ask her out really but what if she says no hey if you want something you've got to go for
it just
like the fat man did when he changed his name I'm looking for a Peter Ferrari obviously that's me
yes there's a soiled pair of Ferrari underwear in the men's room trash who took him out of the sink
they were soaking sir I can't park this there's diarrhea all over the front seat of your PT
Cruiser Isabella listen I'm not great at this but yep told you also I was wondering if there's any
chance you'd maybe want to go out with me sometime oh Chris that's sweet but I don't think you'd w
ant
to go out with me why not it's just that well I have kids oh wow and a couple of cuties oh I think
I feel something please please don't do that hey your aunt is Consuela hi Consuela get to know
each other oh yeah Lemon Pledge no no all that stuff it's time to go Lemon Pledge no no let's
see but wait Isabella I don't care that you have kids I'd still like to go out with you wow that's
really sweet Chris okay you're on here's my number thank you oh boy I haven't been this
excited since o
ur trip to Philadelphia ladies and gentlemen flight 427
to Philadelphia has been canceled [Music] I saw a lady in the [ __ ]
so I asked if we could eat spaghetti in the alley but they said no
because of all the homeless masturbation oh I love that movie crease I'm having a
really nice time with you you often this is probably lame but I learned a little bit of your
language and I just wanted to say no noon times what language is that you're Korean are
you not no I'm Mexican [Laughter] [Musi
c] hey Chris where are you off to oh Isabella's
coming by and we're gonna take the kids to the park wow you two are spending a lot of time
together I assure you want to date a girl who's had so much experience what do you mean like
maybe she's got some City miles on a Volvo not to mention a couple of blowouts hey Brian
yup I heard you she's talking about her kids Chris oh I don't care about that Mom I just
want to make sure you're not getting in over your head well I'm sure someone's alread
y
been in there deeper than that Lewis Brian oh hello Isabella hi Mrs Griffin
Mr Griffin Mr Griffin's up here sweetheart well I guess you two have fun okay bye look I can see why you're concerned that
Chris's girlfriend has kids but he's happy and she seems like she's into him plus she's
she's hot yes she is I bet my lip off [Music] hey I'm in your closet Isabella is everything okay Chris I just wanted to say
goodbye what what do you mean I found out that I'm going to be deported they're se
nding me back
to Mexico in the morning so in other words this could have waited till the morning I think I'd
want to leave without saying goodbye but they can't send you away there's got to be something
we can do fortunately there's not don't worry I'm planning on getting back into the country as
soon as I can what are you gonna do just leave the babies with Consuela I wish I could but she
worked seven days a week between housekeeping and being the new CEO of Yahoo maybe we should improve
our business model no improve our original content so we have no corporate identity we secondary
email people used to sign up for porn sites so are you taking your boys back with you I guess I have
no choice but I hate having to the whole reason I left Mexico was to give them a better life well
I could take them until you get back I mean I'm no expert at this sort of thing but yeah wow
you're getting better at that but I can't ask you to take care of my children Isabella I want you
would re
ally look after my kids for me of course I would you're a wonderful man Cruise creeping
thank you gracias I'll be back as soon as I can [Music] don't worry I'm gonna take good care of you I'm
gonna call you Juan and I'm gonna call you too good he's been reading the book [Music] uh dad you're reading the paper
upside down wrong again idiot what are you doing with Isabella's babies and why
are you holding them that way you'll hurt them where's Isabella she got deported this morning
departed a
nd she just left her babies with you well just until she can come back Chris are you
crazy what makes you think you can take care of two babies I don't know I've seen her take care of
them I see you with Stewie frankly it doesn't seem that hard you just shattered her world shattered
absolutely not Chris I will not allow this look I made a promise to Isabella and I'm Gonna Keep
it now if you'll excuse me these two need to eat he that's no way Chris is going to be able to
take care of two bab
ies well maybe he should have thought of that before he opened his [ __ ] legs
no Peter that's not anyway we gotta call Child Services Lois if you do that Chris will resent you
for the rest of his life then what do you suggest we do I say you let him try trust me one day of
watching those kids and he'll want him out of here all right fine yes taking care of kids
is a 24-hour job like when I worked at that all night Diner from that painting they
kicked me out of the wall for kissing a guy al
l right guys nothing but the best for
you two so I got you all organic non-GMO no hormone food that'll be five hundred
dollars all right kids looks like we're gonna go to Jersey Mike's and hope that
future science will save us hey we're jar people science help Jersey Mike's bring your
girlfriend with the fat ass in here all right hey guys how about a little TV we can watch a
baby thing together Baby Einstein Muppet Babies uh what's CSI babies what's this they can't solve
this crime they're
just frightened babies they're scared now I'm scared turn this off I'm gonna
go hide my couch fault his CSI baby's over yet oh hello Consuela you must be here for the
twins no no take babies I have good news and III news okay give us the III nose first
Isabella no can come back stuck in Mexico the babies they stay here what what's the good news
good news his bus get new wiper blades no more while these kids are not staying here you gotta take them how can I take
them when I was never here
wow she's like the Mexican David Blaine wait
is David Blaine Mexican he's something Peter forget that what are we gonna do Chris can't
just be stuck with these babies why not I'm doing a great job I love Isabella and I love
her kids Chris you're living in a Dream Land how are you gonna support two babies I could
time off school and get a job no absolutely not all right now hold on Lois hold on and maybe
Chris getting the jobs not the worst idea I mean I made pretty good money come Stand By
Me it's
Ashley's turn Ashley go ahead pick an answer find a question spin the table and remember the
clock is ticking backwards I'll pass congrats you win sorry to see you go and Phil we'll see
you tomorrow well that's all the time we have for those of you playing at home why and how
audience why stop that forget it I will not allow you to drop out of school if Isabella
can't get here to take her kids back we'll just have to bring them to her what what do you
mean I mean we're going to Mex
ico so we can give these kids back to their mother Peter back me up
here let's get those kids back to them [Music] look how winded he is from doing that one spin
your mother's right Chris we're going to Mexico I gotta say all right we're off to Mexico if you
kids are good we'll bring you back a tangled marionette is it gonna be
a long trip dad nah not too bad especially since we're gonna do it
to the wrong stock footage [Music] boy what a trip Chris are you sure this is
Isabella's Village
this place looks pretty rough yeah this is it Santa terrible look there's
he is Chris what in the mind of Mencia are you doing here my babies Isabella I missed you so
much I agrees I missed you too luck Isabella you shouldn't be separated from your children so we've
brought them to you we wish you all the best Say Goodbye Chris mom we can't just leave them here
this is no place for Isabella to raise a family foreign [Music] I didn't want you to have to raise those
babies yourself but as a m
om I don't know if I can in good conscience leave this family here we'll
just have to smuggle her and her babies back in well no one's better at smuggling than El Chapo
maybe he can help us how are you gonna get El Chapo to help it's easy all you gotta do is say
dyed black eyebrows into the wind and he appears dyed black eyebrows can I help you Peter Gallagher maybe I can help my Cuban now we're
getting all the wrong eyebrow guys [Music] you think you you but you could be arrested I
realize
that but you have just as much right to a decent life for your children as anyone else
now we just need a plan all right what if we run damn it Peter what about Quagmire he could
probably get his hands on a plane Lois that's actually a great idea actually why are you
saying it like that and Quagmire owes me a favor anyway remember last time he went
out of town I sat on his eggs for him Peta it's time for lunch sorry Lois can't
leave the eggs till Quagmire gets back what happened sloppy joe
s well I guess I haven't
seen that Mongoose in a while what happened sloppy joes yeah I heard please say you got the
onion bun what happened sloppy joes mongoose monkeys [Music] hey just a heads up my Dad's friend Mr Quagmire
is gonna say a lot of stuff to you and it's all gonna be disgusting hey you must be Isabella
I came as soon as I heard about you and then I got on my plane all right hold it right
there uh oh somebody's coming now hold on hold on I put my business card in a fishbowl
a
t an El Torito this could be about that can't hold for the free lunch does it have
to be during the week because I wait a second Ong we're not arresting
you we're taking your plane and Javier get their keys and take the SUV ah that stupid fat Guido no Peter
that's the wrong racial slur no I know I was just thinking about Snooki [Music] boy I can't believe there would be corrupt
cops in Mexico yeah Donald Trump was right his daughter is a hot piece of ass uh you guys don't
panic but there's
a couple of coyotes over there Coyote Ugly with paper Parable is that Parry
Perry ball Parable Parable say it with me is that right it's weird but you remember
you know I guess I guess that's the point you think she's set for life
Peter we're about to die my babies get out of here you leave them alone you guys I've been bit and he got away with
my friendship bracelet you are a boy please you saved my babies oh my God paid up we did
nothing we're his parents and we did nothing I know but wow
did you see how Chris took care
of those kids up till now the only thing he could take care of was my traffic tickets
name uh Peter Griffin Peter Griffin said to surrender about his vehicular manslaughter
what no I'm a good boy he is a good boy [Music] oh this is awful Chris is injured
and we're completely out of food and water I know I'm so thirsty I'd
be willing to drink anyone's pee not not yours Chris or Peter but you know you
know anyone Mom Dad thanks for trying to help you know I j
ust wanted to do the right thing but now
we're all gonna die did you gals hear my pee thing time for schweiler yeah oh thank God how did
you find us babies hearing have chip can you help us get to the Border oh you
already in United States we are yes this takes us what so what so we walked right
across the border and didn't even know it that is a problem right I mean politics aside
we can all agree that is a problem [Music] thanks for the ride Consuela and thanks
for taking us on that litt
le detour to Dollywood was I right or was I right
yep totally worth the extra two days look Chris I owe you an apology I didn't believe
in you I was wrong to say you couldn't handle the responsibility of taking care of two kids you
risk your life for those babies well I didn't want them to get hurt that's right because you
care about them just like you care about Isabella and if you want to continue to date her and be
a part of those kids lives I'd be just fine with that are you kidding scr
ew that looking after
babies is a nightmare oh you have no idea you know how many times I had you kids in the oven
just daring myself to turn it on well thanks for trusting me to figure it out for myself I
love you Mom I love you too sweetheart foreign being with you has been really great to
be taking on this much responsibility I understand but I know someday you will make an
incredible father Goodbye Chris goodbye Isabella [Music] Chris time for dinner what happened sloppy joes
oh boy wh
at happened sloppy joes yeah I heard you dear God oh they're all dead no please no [Music] I'm home from Camp welcome home
Meg's been wearing your clothes ah my Powers Camp angry Indian oh they had to
rename it Camp redface then soon after Camp Washington football team but Camp was awesome
I got a girlfriend she's smoking hot and she has some off the charts scary political views
but largely because of the smoking hot thing we've decided to stay together my boy has a
girlfriend oh Chris that
's amazing good job Chris you've really impressed you're old dad
like Richard Gere's gerbil impressed his dad hello God you're never gonna believe where I am freaking duck damn now he's right I'll
show him whoa since when do you have a treadmill I took it from the curves
they mostly just lie on Nets [Music] hey hey Bizarro Family Guy Bizarro
Family Guy it's just the fire [Music] Peter how is a stud finder gonna help with this
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