Finding The Best Afternoon Tea In London | Food Tours | Food Insider

OK. So, tea is a thing here. It is a thing here. You guys were really into tea. The beverage and the afternoon tea as a meal. So, afternoon tea is not just having tea, it's also a whole process of a meal and going to a really fancy place, such as this. Where are we, by the way? So, this is the Hotel Café Royal. We are very central. We're just off Piccadilly Circus in London. It's one of the more historic and well-renowned afternoon-tea venues and hotels in Central London. Excited to see what the

y have on offer. Yeah, it's pretty nice. Have you seen "The Shining"? I actually haven't. Never mind. All right. I never drink tea. I don't really like it. I don't hate it. I just think it's weak and boring. I don't know why anyone would drink tea over coffee. OK. For me, I don't get it. I'm going to be honest with you. I'm wondering if we can change your mind. I'm actually not super confident that we will, but I will say that the places that we're going to today, these will be some carefully cu

rated blends of teas served at the proper temperature, in the proper crockery as well. Joe: Great. There's a hotel here, right? Yeah, this is a five-star hotel. But there's no way Tom Cruise gets up in the morning and wanders down here in basketball shorts and is like, "Oh, let's get something to eat before I head out," right? I mean this, even though there's a hotel up here, people aren't just filtering through before they head out to whatever they're doing today. No, this isn't like a buffet-b

reakfast-style hotel. That's what I was thinking! No, they do things slightly more properly here, I think. Joe: All right, cool. This is a place where you will have to book. It's, like, £80 a head including the Champagne glass, I think maybe £70 without, so maybe you'd bring your parents or your grandparents here or something for a nice fancy London day out. Have you taken either of your parents and/or grandparents to tea yet, as a working adult who now supports himself? I've actually not. I nee

d to take my grandma. Man. We've been talking about doing, like, London afternoon tea for years and never got around to it. So I'll get her up here at some point. She's going to see this and be like, "My grandson took the dude from 'Food Wars' to tea and not me?! All right." I'm out of the will, man. Joe: Yeah, you're out of the will, yeah. There goes my only shot at hereditary wealth. I feel like, was it "Tarzan" where they, like, took him out of the jungle and dressed him all up and he's all l

ike, "[grunts] "I don't like this"? I feel like that right now. It's like, oh, can I just go to McDonald's and go home? It's fine, we'll get a Big Mac on the way home. Yeah. Ooh, I've never heard a Champagne bottle open that quietly before. Harry: That was impressive. Oh, you don't want to have all the stuff shooting out? There's a lot of glass in this room, so. Joe: Oh yeah, look at that. Thank you. Joe: Yo! There we go. Joe: Fantastic pour. Look at that. Thank you. Do you ever just, like, wond

er how we got this as our job? Joe: Yeah, this is very strange. Looks good. Thank you very much. Cheers, my man. Hey. Cheers. This is, like, eerily romantic. Harry: It's a weird vibe. And those are the same? Joe: Mm-hmm. Harry: Very light. All right, let's try some tea. Cheers. Yeah, here we go. Harry: There we go. There's the main event. Joe: I see. Harry: Gotcha. Harry: Thank you so much. Joe: Yeah, thanks. So, what's this top thing? Harry: So, this is a palmier. It's a layer of, effectively,

flaky pastry. This is with a mascarpone quenelle. Ooh, yeah, oh. Get that little spread. Joe: Oh, yeah. That's really good. Harry: Mm. That mascarpone, that's beautiful. This sandwich was ... So, this is a sort of smoked salmon, cucumber type of vibe. Joe: OK, I'm into that. Harry: Lox, as you guys might call it. Visually, these all look beautiful. Joe: Yeah, this looks amazing. This is beautiful. It's almost like a work of art. It's not a small amount of food, is it? Joe: No, it's not. I was su

rprised by how much they've given us. But, I mean, if you're paying 80 quid, I'd better walk out of here full. You've never heard of quality over quantity? Joe: It could be both. Why is it a choice? Tomato bread? I don't think I've ever — Harry: Steak on a tomato bread. I don't think I've had tom-ah-to bread, tomato bread. Harry: I'm trying the egg. You're steaming ahead of me. Joe: I can tell you, tomato guy's the best one. This is fantastic. Harry: Mm-hmm? Joe: Yeah. What was in here? Like, st

eak and tomato herb. Oh, yeah. Little steak. I missed it. These are two different teas? Yeah. So, this is the first-flush Darjeeling. Have you had this before? Joe: No. I don't know. Harry: Do you like it? Joe: I have no idea. It tastes like all the other tea I've had. [Harry laughs] I can't say I agree. Because this is a black tea, but it tastes almost more like a green tea or a white tea. Just is so gentle. This last one, which one's this one? So, coronation chicken, as the name suggests, kind

of invented for the coronation of Queen Elizabeth. But they got pieces of chicken which were cooked, basically put in mayonnaise, which you then add curry powder to. This is so good. And sometimes raisins as well, which is kind of unusual. Joe: I'm not getting the raisins, but, I take it back. This is the best one. Harry: Really? Joe: Yeah. Harry: Ooh. Let me try some curry chicken. Joe: Right? That's fantastic. Coronation chicken is what it's called? Harry: Mm-hmm. So you wouldn't put milk or

any sweetener in these teas. Is that kind of a faux pas? If you really wanted to add sugar to this, then no one's going to, like, physically stop you from doing that. But personally I think these are all going to be nice enough that you can enjoy just as they are. I'm curious about how much different this one could taste. Mm-hmm. So, Darjeeling is a place in India which has now kind of given its name to a type of tea, a variety of tea leaf. Joe: I follow. Harry: Mm-hmm. What is — you're saying "

first flush"? So, that depends on when in the season it's picked and at what stage of the growth that it's picked. So first flush is picked quite early in the season — First. From immature tea leaves, almost, and lends itself to, again, a much more gentle flavor. That's a myth. That's a myth. Don't do that. Joe: What, the pinky up? The pinky-out thing. No one's doing that. Joe: All right. Harry: And also, don't slurp. [sighs] If I did this at my grandma's house, I'd be getting a scolding. So I h

ave to extend that same thing to you, Joe. Well, apparently you're never taking her for tea, so. Because I'm too terrified of the telling-off I'd get if I did anything wrong. Joe: That's funny. All right, then second flush, then, therefore is at a second — At a slightly later stage of a tea tree's development. Joe: Let's see how this one tastes. Oh, it's much darker. Harry: Mm-hmm. Joe: I've never seen anyone insist that you smell the top of the pot lid. I've never seen it. Is that something tha

t's normal? It's like smelling the cork of a bottle of wine. Harry: Mm-hmm. Second flush, give us some thoughts. Yeah, stronger flavor. Now you tell me the difference. You get more tannins. You know when it kind of hits your tongue and it almost feels like it's kind of drying your tongue out? Joe: OK. That's usually because of the tannins content. That's also what stains your teeth. So that's why British people all look like they do. Hey, you said it, not me. But I feel like Americans, we're jus

t constantly drinking coffee. Isn't that the same thing? Coffee has similar compounds in it, yeah. Same with red wine. You know when you drink, like, a really rich red wine and it's, again, kind of sucking moisture out of your mouth? Joe: All right. Harry: Thank you. Joe: Thank you very much. Delicious. We've been waiting for your opinion to settle the debate as to which one of these is better. I don't know. This one. Harry: Sure. OK, cool. Second flush. Joe: Debated, yeah. Deal sealed. It feels

more like tea. It looks more like tea. It's darker and has more of a tea flavor to it. How do you like that? Harry: Mm-hmm. I'm sure the experts in the industry will appreciate that insight. "Ah, we never thought of that!" Thank you. Ooh, OK. I immediately got a smoky aroma from this one. I think we've got one of their smoked teas. Joe: Oh, yeah! Harry: Mm-hmm. No, no, no, just the tea. It's on purpose. Joe: Yo, God. Harry: Ooh, here we go. I'm in trouble. Harry: These look beautiful. Joe: Oh,

very nice. I'm a cream first guy. I can play by your rules, it's OK. Joe: Thank you. Harry: Thank you. All right, we're going to rock a smoked tea. Smoked tea. I mean, you're from America. You guys like to smoke things. Had a smoked tea before? Joe: No. What were you guys talking about? So, grab a scone. It's actually more traditional to just tear these. Just get your thumbs kind of in and just rip it apart. Just going to tear bread. There you go. Although you've gone sideways rather than horizo

ntal, so. Oh, OK. Maybe I do need to ... Well, what's going on here? I can't ... Harry: Can we note the difference between my finished scone and Joe's finished scone, please? Joe: I think how I did it's fine. Harry: Nice, neat halves. Joe: Oh, God. Harry: So, there's a big debate in the UK when it comes to scones. If you are in Cornwall, you will do the jam on, and then you'll top that with a layer of cream. Yeah, that's definitely the way to do it. If you're in Devon, you will do the cream and

then top with a layer of jam. No, no, no, no, fruit first, cream second. Harry: Interesting. OK. I don't even need to be from here to know. Like, if I'm putting jam and butter on my toast, jam first, butter last. You're insane. Joe: No! Jam, and then the butter or the cream goes on top of it. What do you mean that's — Charlie: Jam first on toast is insane. What are you talking about? Charlie: Fully insane. In the UK, if you're making toast, you will always use butter as the foundation layer. Alw

ays. Joe: Here's how I'm imagining it. I'm imagining I go jam first on there because it's easier to get the jam off the knife by wiping it. And then when I go for the butter, I have pretty much a clean knife, take the butter. But if I do the butter first, I got a buttery knife into the jam, and there's jam in my butter in the fridge. Does that make sense? Fine. Well, the people of Cornwall will love you. I'm going to be the mayor of Cornwall by the end of — wait, do you guys have mayors? Yeah, w

e have mayors. OK, no, I'm going to be the archduke of Cornwall at the end of this trip. See, look at this. Perfect. Oh, yes. Yes! Harry: See, I'm normally the Devonshire scone approach because of the logic that if I'm making toast, I'll put the kind of dairy-fat layer on first. So in my mind, that made more sense. But here they recommend it the Cornish way, so I'll play by their rules. Forget how dry scones are. That's why you guys drink so much tea. Harry: That's why you have loads of stuff on

them, though. How does the scone go with the smoked tea? Joe: Very surprised by this. I love the aroma. I love it how it smells. Harry: Mm-hmm. Certainly smoked tea is not common. Definitely not common, no. But I'm really loving it. It's like you're drinking, like, a campfire. But I mean that in a nice way. Joe: Yeah, yeah. It's nice. Harry: It's, like, nostalgic. And then, I mean, from there it sort of just remains for you to try some of these pastries out as well. Joe: Which one do you think?

Harry: I think a nice classic British dessert is banoffee pie. Which one is that? Harry: It's these circular-tart ones. Ah, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. So I think I want to see you try the banoffee pie. Yeah, dude. Harry: Mm-hmm? Ooh, that's great. Oh, my God, I love that. Mm! I want to try it too now. Am I right in saying that banoffee is not a super-common pie filling in the US? I don't think I've ever even heard of it. Harry: Yeah. What is it? So, it's banana and toffee. Joe: Banoffee. Harry: N

ot banana and coffee. So it's usually a caramel layer on top of a biscuit or pastry base, usually with slices of banana and then cream. It's fantastic. Yeah. Mm. Joe: This is fantastic. I do think that these really nice, rare, expensive teas are being wasted on me. But so far, I'm impressed. I think the range of teas you get to try that you would never normally get to try are amazing. The service is amazing. Beautiful location. So I think, yeah, obviously, it's a treat. Yeah. Well, you're more o

f a tea fan. What do you think of the teas? I've loved all of these teas. I'm going to be honest, these are opening my eyes to new possibilities for tea. You just can't get this at the store? Not the regular store. You can't find, like, first-flush teas at Tesco. I don't know. Hey, I don't know. And you can tell they really know their stuff here. They've taken the time to curate these blends, these pairings. Well, I could stay here all day and argue about the order in which you add things to oth

er things, but I want to check out more tea. Harry: Me too, that would be great. We've got several more teas to try, plenty more order of things to argue about. Joe: Can't wait. Harry: Let's give it a go. Joe: Let's do it. Harry: Houses of Parliament, Big Ben. Joe: Yeah. Harry: All set against the iconic gray background of London. Joe: There it is. Harry: All right, next place. We're at the Swan at the Globe. Joe: Definitely different vibe from the last place. Harry: Yeah. So this is very much l

ess of the kind of, like, posh-hotel style and more of a modern classic British restaurant style. Joe: Yeah, this is a really nice place. And not only does it do a good afternoon tea, but it's themed. Can you guess what it might be themed around? Globe. Shakespeare? Correct. So it's theater-themed? It's a Shakespeare-themed afternoon tea. Joe: OK. Oh, no. Harry: We're attached to the Globe Theatre, one of Britain's most iconic theaters. Shakespeare used to do all of his plays here way back in th

e day. It actually burned down and was rebuilt. So it's not quite on the original location — Joe: Same spot? A few hundred meters down the road. Couldn't get the permissions for the same spot. But they've rebuilt it really faithfully. It's in the style. It's using the same materials. You commented on the roof on the way over. They've still got the thatch straw roof that they used to have as well. Seems incredibly unsafe. Harry: A little bit, yeah. That's why the first one burned down. But they w

ere like, "Eh, can't happen again." Joe: Had they learned nothing from the first one? Have you been in the Globe Theatre? Harry: I have, yeah. I've seen a few plays before. So, they have a big standing area in the middle. Joe: No. Harry: Because the theater used to be a very, like, common-people's entertainment. It used to be for the working class. And they would all pay for the cheap tickets, which, you would go and stand in the middle and watch the play. And then you have the rich people — Sta

nding for a whole play? Harry: The rich people sitting around the outside. How long is a play? You can get, like, a three-hour Shakespeare play, by which time — Joe: Hell, no. Harry: Yeah. I stood for one of them, and my legs did hurt quite a lot by the end of it. Joe: How long was it? Probably two hours, two and a half hours. Joe: And you're just kind of pacing back and forth like, "All right, get to the third act, let's go." "Just kill him already." You know what's going to happen. It's a Shak

espeare. Everyone dies. Just cut to the good bit. So, the afternoon tea that we're trying today is themed around "Macbeth," the Scottish play. I actually know that one. Harry: There you go. Joe: Yeah. Nice. But they also do something that I quite like the look of, which is a gentlemen's tea, which is afternoon tea but for blokes. Oh, God. Harry: And I'm just kind of curious to see what that's like. I think it's aimed maybe at either very hungry people or men who are a little bit too insecure abo

ut their masculinity to enjoy some sandwiches. What are some of the ... ? Harry: Well, instead of sandwiches and scones, you're getting a Scotch egg, just a full portion of fish and chips is on there, some haggis. Joe: All of that? You eat all of it? It seems to just be all of their main courses on a board. So I'm just kind of curious to see how that goes. "Oh, I'm a man, I don't want a salad." Yeah. I think that, I know that they're a business and they want to do it, so I don't want to disparag

e it. But anyone who gets that sincerely needs to be connected with a therapist. Britain would be a much better place if most of the men here had therapy. So I'm kind of in support of that. But let's order one just to see what it's like. Joe: Yeah, all right, fine. Harry: Loose-leaf tea. Joe: Ah. Harry: As it should be. Joe: That's really nice. Harry: Thank you. Joe: Thank you. Oh, and that catches — that's so clever! Harry: Smart, right? Joe: Yeah! Yeah, I think loose-leaf tea is traditional fo

r afternoon tea, so I think they've done a good job there. Yeah. Got a castle on it. I see mine's got a deer on there. Yeah, I'm into this. Harry: It looks pretty Shakespearian. Joe: Man, they weren't playing with the theme. I like that, yeah. OK. A lot of people say that when you have tea from a teapot, the milk should go in first, and then you should pour the tea in. There's a few reasons for this. Personally, I think it eliminates the need for stirring. Because if the milk's already in there,

it's kind of churning itself up and becoming homogenous while it's in that — That would've been helpful, because I killed my wrist stirring tea this week. The thought of doing that? Harry: Look, man ... Joe: Oh, goodness! Brits have to do it every day. So it's a real workout. It's like when you used to have to crank-start cars. It's just such an inconvenience. There's actually a historical reason as to why people would put the milk in first as well. Let's have it. So, back in the day, you'd be

drinking your tea out of a fine-china cup because it's a really status-symbol type of thing. Really thin, delicate materials because it was the finer craftsmanship. The issue there was that sometimes they would make it so fine that if you poured boiling tea into it, it would just shatter then and there. That to me sounds like poor craftsmanship, then. The very use of that is to drink tea out of, and the fact that it explodes when you put the tea in, it makes it seem like they did a bad job with

that. Harry: We came up with a solution. You could put a bit of milk in first, and then when you added the tea in, it sort of tempers it and reduces the temperature of it as it hits it, brings the temperature down so that the mug can then withstand the temperature of the tea. Couldn't you just wait for the tea to cool? You could have done, but you kind of want to be, at least, steeping and pouring tea when it's still pretty hot. Right, because it's supposed to be drank hot, and then the cup expl

odes because it can't handle hot liquids. It's a bad cup. Whatever. Well, I'm going to drink some with milk. I'm going to add a little milk just to ... so this is milk? This isn't cream? This is milk. It should be either semi-skimmed or whole milk. Joe: How much do I put in here? I mean, I just do a little splash. I don't think you need much. Oh, it broke. Pew! It explodes. Look at this. It's like I work here, the way I'm working to put this tea together. Let's try it with the milk. Very little

difference, but OK. Joe: Thank you very much. Everything looks awesome. Thank you so much. All right, well, what do we got here? Harry: Food's here. OK. So, I think we should probably start with some of the savories, so at the bottom, and probably work our way up, I think, is going to be the best way to do this. Joe: Started from the bottom, now we're here. Now we're here. Joe: OK. Salmon. Harry: I'll join you on the salmon. Salmon cream cheese. It's a classic. You can't go wrong. Joe: First hit

, fantastic. That is so creamy. Harry: Mm-hmm. That's a very good sandwich. Do you like the feeling of eating, like, a little dainty finger sandwich? Joe: Yeah, I don't mind. I mean, definitely, like, I know you're supposed to take your time doing this, but the way these sandwiches are cut, I'm like, "Oh this is great. I can eat these a lot faster." Harry: Mm-hmm. Joe: I think that's the point. Next one is what? Harry: This is an egg mayo on spinach bread. Yeah, no crust on any of these, with th

e finger sandwiches. Why is that? What is the aversion of crust? Harry: I think it's, again, this kind of, like, appearance, presentation is quite important with an afternoon tea. Their trash cans back there are just overflowing with crust? Harry: Just full of crust. I'm hoping that they found a way to utilize the other crust, maybe make breadcrumbs or something. The ducks. They're eating well. All right. Mm. Oh, is that watercress in here? Egg and cress is a really classic British sandwich. I d

on't know if you have as much of a cress thing in the US. It's coming around, watercress specifically. My wife likes to put that on lots of stuff because it's very healthy. Good for you. Peppery kick to it. Joe: Yeah. Harry: Mm-hmm. All right, and what are these? Like, a haggis bite? Harry: Then we have the little haggis tartlets and these little beef-brioche-bun things. Let's try a tartlet first. That's so good. Mm. Thing is, haggis was traditionally made in the sheep's stomach, right? Or in th

e sheep? Like, basically, the way you stuff a sausage, they used the sheep's guts to do that or whatever? But they don't do that anymore. I mean, I guess someone does, but now it's almost, like, one of those synthetic sleeves that they make sausages in. Right? Yeah, I think maybe very traditional places might still do it the old way, but. With the spices and oats? Because this is very good. It's really tasty, yeah. I do like haggis a lot. Harry: It's good. Brioche beef sandwich. Look at that. So

cute. Little tiny, tiny beef. Joe: Oh, yeah. Now, if this was the only tea I was having, I would feel like I could easily, if I was just doing this to do it, I could easily eat this whole thing. Harry: You can clear this. I will say afternoon tea is kind of designed to be eaten at a leisurely pace, for the most part, kind of over the course of an hour, hour and a half. This is very good. Harry: So maybe the fact that we're just kind of blitzing through it is helping it out. I will say, the hors

eradish, fantastic on this. Horseradish sometimes tends to be a little overpowering, but this one, creamy enough. You know the horse is there, you taste the horse, but you also taste the beef, so. Harry: That's really good. Joe: Yeah, right? Harry: You said that maybe this wouldn't be enough food to fill you up, and I guess, traditionally, that wasn't really the point. It's always been like a kind of midafternoon snack. Joe: This is a snack? Harry: Yeah. Just threw something together. They were

actually invented by the seventh duchess of Bedford. The seventh duchess of Bedford? You're joking! Harry: Exactly like that. So, she found that she would have this kind of sinking feeling around 4 o'clock in the afternoon. So she wanted basically an afternoon snack as a kind of pick-me-up and then invite some of her friends to join her. And because she was a duchess in the royal court, it suddenly became this status symbol and this kind of exclusive club, and suddenly everyone wanted in. So yea

h, I think initially it did start as very much an afternoon snack. Nowadays I think maybe it has transitioned into more of a substantial meal, probably a decent-sized lunch. But yeah, it's interesting to see how it's evolved over the years. Joe: I'm ready to move on to the scone section of the meal, and I'm going to do one cream, then jam; and then one jam, then cream. Harry: For science. Joe: Do it side by side and settle the debate once and for all. All right. Right? This is the way you think

it should be. So, we're both Devoning it right now. Joe: OK, let's get Devoned out. Mm. I love scones, man. The other way? Harry: Mm-hmm. Official verdict? Jam, cream. The end. Harry: OK. Joe: That's what I said before, right? You did, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sticking to my guns, but I respect your opinion. Joe: Wow. Harry: That's fine. Do you guys eat a lot of scones in America? Joe: No. Harry: No? Joe: Muffins, doughnuts, no scones. Harry: I feel like you're missing out. They're so good. This is

a really good one. It's got that flaky pastry on the outside. This scone is fantastic, bro. All right, this one, I'm eyeing this one because it's got a skull on it. Let's take a look at this guy. Oh, and it's encased in chocolate. Harry: So then we have some sweet treats. Joe: Let's have a sampling of that. How do you, I just bite this? Harry: I don't really know. Feel like I'm going to cut the roof of my mouth on this one. You've confirmed that we eat the outside of this? Just like a bunch of

dummies, like, "Hey, use your spoon, weirdo. What are you doing?" We might be about to shatter our teeth, but cheers. Oh, mousse inside. Harry: Mm. Joe: I'm very impressed with this. This is all very good. Harry: Yeah. Quality so far, high across the board. Very tasty. Joe: So, this is the gentlemen's tea set. Harry: Yes. Joe: Something geared, I'm assuming, more towards the gents. I'm just grabbing a chip real quick. Some tartar sauce. Joe: How are the chips here? Harry: Ooh, that's a great chi

p. Joe: Ah! OK. Scotch egg time. Mm-hmm. I love a Scotch egg. This is a fancy one. It's done well. You can tell because the yolk is still soft. Joe: Yeah. Crispy on the outside. Mm. Oh, yeah. Joe: That is a fantastic Scotch egg. Mm-hmm. What is this thing over here? Harry: So, this is smoked haddock from Arbroath, which is a town in Scotland. Arbroath smokie. Joe: Strong mustardy, possibly horseradish, flavor to it, but it's a really fantastic cut of meat. I'm going to go just the fish. Harry: I

think, like, as a sort of alternative to a smoked-salmon sandwich, works really well. Joe: That's very good. Harry: We know what fish and chips taste like. We've done a video on that. We don't need to taste that. You also get the same haggis tart that you get on the normal one. Joe: Nice. Harry: This scone is slightly different. It's a cheese scone with a butter instead. Oh, like a Cheddar Bay Biscuit from Red Lobster? Pretty much exactly the same, yes. OK, I'm listening. And then also what you

can get, which we didn't get today because we just got the breakfast tea, but you can get, instead of tea, a bone broth. It sounds a little bit Shakespearean. Yeah, I don't know. Are you convinced by the gentlemen's afternoon tea as a concept, or are you still pretty on the fence? Joe: Yeah, I am kind of convinced. I think the marketing-towards-gentlemen thing's a little bit off-putting. Yeah, maybe just market it as, like, a sort of savory sharing platter or something. There you go. Fantastic.

But it's all very tasty. Yeah, it's very good. It was all very good. Harry: This Scotch egg, man. I'm kind of obsessed with the Scotch egg. Right? I think it's really funny that we've got this gentlemen's afternoon tea, and the knowledge that teahouses in the UK actually played a big role in the women's suffrage movement. Joe: OK. Teahouses back in the kind of Victorian era became really popular. There were lots of them popping up. They were cheap, and also they were one of the few places where

women were allowed to kind of go and socialize unaccompanied by a man. "Unaccompanied." Oh, God. Harry: It was a different time. But so because of that, you had all these women meeting up, thinking, "Actually, why don't we have more of a say in the matter? Maybe we should ask for the right to vote." And the kind of suffragists, suffragette movements were really born out of teahouses. Get it, ladies, get it! And then 150 years later, we have the blokes reclaiming afternoon teas. Overall, have yo

u enjoyed the Swan at the Globe's afternoon tea? Yeah, this was really great. This was really great. I enjoyed, I think, everything. I don't think there's been a dish where I've not enjoyed it, so that's always a good sign. Joe: Yeah, everything has really been delicious. What would this cost? What would this set you back? So, I think here it's around £40. Absolutely worth the value. £40. The price is nice on that, considering how good everything was. And they're feeding you here! You get a whol

e — look at all this tea. Whole pot of tea. Joe: Yeah. Harry: Not bad. Yeah, not bad at all. Fantastic. Do you have room for some more? I believe I do have some room for some more. Cool, because we've got one more afternoon-tea experience to show you. And let's just say it's going to take you on a ride. OK, let's go have tea on a roller coaster. Couldn't help but notice this table is moving. Yeah, so this is Brigit's Bakery bus tour. This is our last stop on our afternoon-tea tour. It is a after

noon tea on a bus. Joe: So, I'm seeing London, all right. From the bus. Harry: So, this is the obvious benefit of being, A, both an afternoon tea and also, B, a sightseeing tour. We're going to go basically around Central London for about 90 minutes, depending on the traffic. And of course we have this lovely array of food. Joe: This is great. Harry: Yes. It's a lot to get acclimated to. So right now I'm still just like, "OK, we're moving. The food was already sitting here." This is for four peo

ple. Sorry to break the fourth wall, but there are two cameramen sitting next to us. I think at this point we're close enough that they can probably see each other. Joe: OK, great. So we had to book a table for four. We couldn't book a table for two. Harry: We did, yes. Joe: OK. We're also going to be served some hot drinks. They have a range here. I'm probably just going to get a breakfast tea. A few things, obviously, different to a normal one. What's another tea that you think I should try th

at I haven't had? Harry: I mean, you could try Earl Grey. It's a slightly more herbal, fragrant version of a black tea. Oh, there's a jasmine one, there's a berry one. Harry: It's really up to you. Joe: A chai one. Harry: They have a range. Joe: Stop pushing it! It's fine right there. Harry: Shove it towards you. Joe: Stop it! Leave it there! Obviously, the hot drinks are served to you in a screw-top cup because we are moving. We have these little cup holders embedded in the table, which is cool

, but we do not want to get any spillages. They do make a point of being like, "Yo, I'm giving you a cup of boiling water, so keep that lid on there." Harry: Be careful. Jesus. I will say that this food was sitting out waiting for us when we got on the bus. It was. [sighs] I like to think it has been prepared today, but I'm sure it'll be tasty. Bit of ham and cheese. Joe: Got mini quiches right here, dude. See this? This is the biggest of the mini quiches we've had. This is almost a regular quic

he. If that's a mini quiche, I want to see a mega quiche. Yeah. This is a bakery that did this. You can tell everything tastes like a really well-baked baked good. I'm very impressed with how well all this food tastes. Yeah, I kind of like the vibe of looking around and see people walking down, like, "Yo, what's up, peasants? Waiting for your bus?" And I love how festive the pastries are. Harry: I think you're right. I think because this is operated by a bakery, it does seem like there's been so

me extra emphasis placed on very beautiful-looking pastry goods. This is maybe the best-looking plate we've had today. Harry: Not to say that the others haven't been nice pastries, but these are like, they've been made by a bakery, you can tell. There might be, like, more meringue-tart things. How's the pretzel bun? Harry: I can recommend the pretzel bun, actually. There's a non-seeded one over here. No, I don't mind seeds. Harry: Want to get a bit of that? The chew and softness on that is beaut

iful. Joe: Wow. On the actual pretzel bun itself. Joe: That's really good. Harry: Mm-hmm. Oh, my gosh, it's so good. I love this. Got some police next to us. Joe: That's a police van right there. Those guys are having a very different experience from us right now. Got a nod up from him. He's like, "He just took a picture of me. Pull them over." Harry: "Arrest that man." Joe: Yeah, this is great. I think that this is really fun. Harry: It's really fun. Joe: It's a great idea. I do think — and thi

s is no knock on this business or the food or the experience — it is what right now? It's 3, a little after 3? Harry: About 3 o'clock. Traffic's a little tight. It's a little busier part of London, a lot more stop and go. He's driving right into this crowd. Harry: Big Ben's right there. Pedestrians in London do not obey road signals. They don't give a damn. I think most of it is in Central London, so I would expect a fair amount of stop-start. But look, I mean, we're already going straight past

the Houses of Parliament. What goes on in that building? That's the Houses of Parliament. That's where we are governed from. Joe: Ah. Harry: It's like our Senate, Congress building. All right. Really, like, we've started right in Central London. We're hitting some key sites early on. I think we just hit a key person. Jesus. This food is fantastic, though. Harry: It's really good food. Do you want to move on to your sweet course now? All right, let's go. Harry: Mm-hmm. Ooh, is that, like, marshma

llowy? Got a little something there. Got a little beard. A ginger cookie. Harry: Let me get some of that. Oh, this is really good. Waiter: Here's your breakfast tea with milk and Earl Grey. Oh. Oh, it's got the bag in there. Harry: So, actually, we're on a Routemaster bus right now. Now, Routemaster buses are an iconic part of British culture. They're like a British design icon. They came in in 1954 and were just, like, immediately a hit. Not to say they weren't without their faults. So, you mig

ht have noticed that we got on from a platform at the back. Joe: Yeah. Harry: That was the only way you can get on and off the bus, the idea being that it was easy to hop on and hop off. You could basically just jump on whenever you wanted. The issue was that some people took that a little bit too literally. Some people were trying to, like, jump onto a moving bus or jump off from a moving bus, not always successfully. I think there were injuries reported. So sadly, they were gradually withdrawn

, and they sort of disappeared around the 2000s, I think. I think I still see these buses around. So, they kind of tried to bring them back. It was when Boris Johnson was our mayor of London. He brought back the new Routemaster. They do have ways to get on and off at the back and in the middle as well, but the door is closed while it's in motion. You can't just be jumping on and off anymore. I love the idea of someone who's like, "I'm just going to jump out right here." Like, literally jump off

right here. That's, like, at 40 miles an hour. However you guys measure distance here. I don't know, 40 kilometers a stone. You know. Harry: We still do miles per hour. It's really confusing. Again, we've decimalized so badly. I think that's just a better idea, that it's harder to jump off of a moving bus. Harry: They made a few thousand of these buses, and then I guess as they started to phase them out, there's still buses in circulation, but they're not used officially anymore. So some of them

went up for sale and have been bought by places like this. But there's a double-decker bus right there. Harry: Yeah, all over the place, but not of this style. Joe: Oh. Joe: I see. I see, I see. Harry: The Routemaster. We're very much still using double-decker buses, don't get me wrong. They're great. OK, I get the Routemaster, yeah. OK. So, we're shooting this in the run-up to Christmas. This is actually a Christmas-themed bus tour, and this is a British Christmas cracker. Have you done one of

these before? No. What is it? So, traditionally done around Christmas — Is there crackers in this? No, sadly not. I don't know where the name came from. I guess because, well, I'll show you. They're cracking, mate! Harry: Give me one end. I take this end, give it a little squeeze, and then we're going to pull. All right? Is it going to make a noise? So then it makes a crack, like a pop noise. No. I'm sorry, everybody. Harry: All right, three, two, one. [cracker pops] Hey. So you win. You've got

the — and if you look inside there, you'll find a prize. Oh! So you get a little paper hat and usually some kind of disposable plastic toy in there as well. Oh, I got a frog. Ooh, it jumped out. Harry: [laughs] He's lively. Yeah. And then, OK. Harry: And usually a joke or a trivia. OK, joke. "What begins with tea and ends with tea and has tea in it?" Teapot. Ah. Joe: What do we got here? Harry: And you get a little paper crown as well. So that's what's in a Christmas cracker? I always thought t

hat when I saw these online that they were a fancy way of wrapping, like, there's crackers in the middle of them, and you guys had this big ... No, no, no. I need to rip mine open. [cracker pops] That was a good pop. I got a fake mustache, which you're supposed to clip onto your nose, but it's kind of painful. Joe: That's for a little nose. The issue I have is that I have a really big head, and so sometimes these crowns don't fit me. Look, I can tuck my ears into mine. Harry: You've got some wig

gle room there, whereas if I do it, it's, like, stretching. Joe: Oh, wow. Yeah, you got a big dome, bro. I got a cranium on me, man. Look at that, it's stretching! Yeah, because I've got such a big brain. Would you like my joke? Joe: I don't think that's it. Yeah, what do you got? Oh, it's bad. "How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?" Baa humbug? "Merry Christmas to ewe," but it's spelled like E-W-E. Joe: Oh, E-W-E. Harry: I actually prefer yours, so. Joe: Thank you. Harry: Good job. Joe: G

od. I gotta punch these up, baby. Call the boys. We'll do a jam. We'll do a writer sesh. "Food Wars: Christmas Crackers," coming soon to a store near you. Joe: This is coming off. So, we've had three excellent afternoon teas today. Joe: Yeah. Very different experiences. Hard to draw direct comparisons between many of them other than the fact that I think the food's been really good at all of them. Had a nice mix of sweet and savory. But we've had, you know, the fancy experience, we've had a them

ed experience, and, of course, a tour-bus experience. You're doing it with this mustache on? I was going to try and do that for as long as I could until you noticed. Joe: OK, OK. Harry: So, we did the Hotel Café Royal. Joe: All right. Very fancy, very nice. A bit stress-inducing. Definitely felt out of place there. Felt like royalty's supposed to be there, and instead they got us. For that, it felt like it was the historic, this is the finest way to do it. This is a traditional Londoner teatime.

I liked how the guy knew everything. He was really funny and charming and knew his stuff. I really liked that. We went to the Swan at the Globe. Joe: On to the Swan at the Globe. It was more of a restaurant experience, but everything that they brought us I thought was delicious. I enjoyed the tea very much. I thought that the food portions were incredible. Everything tasted amazing. That one was definitely a lot of fun. I just, that environment, I really enjoyed. That was more of the modern tak

e on an afternoon tea, and personally, that atmosphere is more up my alley. Sure. And Brigit's bus. Joe: This is so much fun. Harry: It's really fun. I wish I was doing this with my wife and not you guys. I think also this would be fun to take my nieces and nephews, maybe my mom. Love that I'm doing two things at once. You know, I'm going to an afternoon tea and I want to do sightseeing. OK, knock them out on one thing. Dinner and a show. Each of them were three different, very unique experience

s. So for me, all the food was incredible, all the tea was incredible, all the experiences are incredible. So what I'm going to pick has less to do with the best one and one that more speaks to an experience that I would probably want to do again, enjoyed the most personally. OK. And if you had to pick which one that was? I loved the Swan at the Globe. I thought that was absolutely fantastic. That was good. I liked that more it felt like it was a restaurant. You can have a couple drinks. So out

of all of them, that was the experience I felt spoke more to what I enjoy doing. But every single one of these is awesome, including this one. I'm having a great time. I know it seems like I'm not, but I'm easily carsick, so I'm kind of just like, ugh. I think you've summarized it well there. Again, I think it's less a case of picking the best one and more a case of just, like you say, picking the one that speaks to us the most. I think I agree. The Swan was a really good just general experience

. I actually did really like the Hotel Café Royal, but mostly because that's the sort of place where I could take, like, my grandma and have a really nice, fancy treat day out. But even this, I think, would also kind of do that job, so. This is so much fun. Have we brought you around on afternoon tea and I guess tea as a drink itself? This may be a controversial opinion, but this is the best tea we've had all day. Harry: Interesting. Joe: I think it's really good. Harry: Yeah. Joe: Earl Grey? Ha

rry: You like Earl Grey? Joe: Yeah, love it. I guess I like Earl Grey. Harry: You like Earl Gray. Yeah. This is fantastic. You have brought me around on tea. I'm probably going to continue to never get it, but no, maybe I'll surprise myself and start drinking a little more tea. I'll take that. All right, cheers, man. Joe: Cheers, mate. Just gentlemen out on the town, you know? Couple of blokes. What's the blokes bus? That's like, it's just this, but they give you a can of Stella Artois instead o

f the prosecco.