(host) "he performs all over the DMV he's
performed at oversea and uh a number of other places too numerous to mention
everybody please welcome to the stage Mudit Verma" thank you thank you when
Sandy said I perform overseas that's a distillery in Columbia, Maryland I've never been I've never been out of
the country comedy low lower lower the expectations I had this really important
speech today and I started by saying that I will be speaking from the
heart and that's code for I did not pr
epare for this at all we'll see if
that applies here in this situation clap if you've ever tried melatonin lot
of melatonin wow bunch of druggies in here the other day I tried well the other day
the other night [Music] I I tried liquid melatonin melatonin in liquid form and
it works so well that I dreamt in fast forward my dad appeared in that dream and he
sounded like you know what that's him fast forward not like in the [Music] regular who
here has insomnia who here has falling asleep th
is whole table it's like party all night
is that what it is you what keeps you up at night smokes too muched smokes too much weed wow
well you should give some to the rest of your table here's what I did to help me
fall asleep I went on Amazon and and I purchased a brown noise machine
it's like a white noise machine except cheaper and when I switch on the brown noise machine it says stop doing
stand up and go to medical school this machine came with brown
parental controls it's got some ai
ai is Conquering our economy we know what AI is that's average Indians we're taking all
the jobs someone of us are doing stand up I don't know about y'all but
I feel like we should have Xanax available over the counter at
drug stores you know he said bars why you selling no I'm just kidding cuz anxiety is rampant we don't have time
to see a psychiatrist and get a prescription you got to get that Xanax out I feel like a few
decades from now Xanax will be available over the counter and you'r
e going to roll up to
your local Target but you won't be able to afford the name brand Xanax you got to get the
store brand Xanax from Target it'll be called Tarzan that stuff would be so good you'll
grow your hair out turn Caucasian you know what I'm saying that's Tarzan
not my dad at fast forward but uh
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