well we all want to do the right thing right but what happens when that goes so far at the expense of ourselves because of the art of people pleasing some of us have mastered it unfortunately but we're joined by Renee Marino here who's going to help us get through this a little bit more so confidence and connecting expert professional actress as well as a tedex speaker many many accomplishments we're happy to have you on the show Renee thank you so much for having me Eva definitely and it's an i
nteresting topic that people pleasing thing you know people make resolutions people try to be their boldest self in the moment sometimes you lose that so how how does people pleasing first manifest itself that you've seen a recent poll shows that 49% of people are people Pleasers and trust me I get it because I have fallen into that pattern all throughout my life and I do believe that it comes from a really positive intention to make others happy to to make make them feel fulfilled but at the en
d of the day if we are doing it at the cost of our own happiness and well-being then we have what I call the PPP the people pleasing pattern and when op other people's problems take precedence over your own that's when you know that you're falling into that dangerous territory of PPP having the people pleas pattern and that can cause I mean obviously sleepless nights and you're constantly worried about what other people are thinking about you but what are some of the other risks that you know th
at you've seen it I'm sure trickles into a lot of places in life yeah taking the focus off of yourself and onto others and what that does is that moves you away from your goals your dreams thinking about the life that you want to manifest I often say that it's it's so important to understand that just saying no just say no sometimes is a form of self-care and self-care is not selfish it's a must and it's what we have to do to preserve our own well-being and happiness so then we can take care of
those people in our lives that we love and care about yeah well you make a great Point Renee of saying no but say you know say a mother or a father is watching this right and they've got you know kids and getting to the school and the bus so it is a balance you know what tips do you have to sort of make both of those realities true for our viewers yes the first step is to allow that person to feel seen heard and understood especially if it's your children yeah really give them the open platform
to ask for for what they need and hear what they're what they're needing and then give yourself that space and that Grace to take a pause before you jump into say no before you even realize that's something that us with the PPP what we do often is we jump into say yes before we've taken a moment to process what has been asked of us so take the moment power of the pause and think to yourself okay is this something that I'm okay to do in my day today and often times you'll feel it in your body if
you know that you don't have the time or the energy you'll feel that little twinge in your gut and your gut instincts are always guiding you with where to go and what to say so start to tune into that and if your body is saying H this isn't right for me then you can respond to that person to your child to a friend and I hear I hear you 100% And I would love to be able to drop you off or I would love to drive you to your your place of work today but I am so overwhelmed at this moment and I'm not
going to be able to give you the attention that you need until I handle what I need to handle and I'm I'm so sorry if this put puts you in an uncomfortable position of having to ask someone else but trust me if I could do this I would and I know those of you who have the people pleasing pattern you're like twinging you're like no I can't do it I assure you that with practice it gets easier and the more you practice this and and start with someone you are really comfortable with start with a frie
nd or you know your most your most trusted person to start to practice this and even roleplay so you get into the Habit such great advice communication really the underlying kind of key to that and you know we talk about the glass half full or the glass half empty well you got your glass has to have some water in it right to to begin with so pouring into yourself to pour into others Rene Marino thank you so much we really appreciate your Insight today thank you so much have a great day
Comments