How To Fall Asleep And Stay Asleep With ADHD

morning this is anna okay i'm gonna adjust the video a little bit here it looks different hi i'm anna tai i'm the author of this book need to focus so this is another episode of our life okay and i'm still trying to get used to all this technology stuff and if you're new we're doing this live talk every saturday morning 10 a.m hawaii time or yeah 12 p.m pacific time it's gonna change because of the day like saving time today i'm gonna talk about sleep and adhd how to fall asleep and stay asleep

because i think with um adhd and i think i probably talk about this all the time is we often so focus on talking about the focusing part of the adhd hyperactivity and all of those but but something that is very common in people with adhd is sleeping a lot of people and probably maybe not even just people um not just only people with adhd but i think overall our population is getting more sleep deprived oh by the way you you might see me going back and forth because i have facebook and instagram

going on together so i have two cameras so but people with adhd do tend to have more problem of sleeping and initially a lot of people think that it might be because of the medication that they're taking with the adhd medication because there's a stimulant it's kind of like the same thing right like when we have coffee we often tell people oh don't drink coffee like after a certain time because the caffeine is going to keep you up for a long time so that's kind of the idea of some of the recomme

nd uh the thinking of people not having not able to fall asleep with adhd maybe the medication but actually it is not just the medication medication could be one of the reasons but but if you think of um the causes of the adhd symptoms which i talked about in the book one of it is about brain chemicals so um brain chemicals and how the adhd brain is wired differently so if we look at in order to fix a problem we kind of have to understand what's the cause right because i think a lot of people th

inking that oh what what i can't fall asleep or i fall asleep but i wake up like within two or three hours or wake up like three four times a night then we have to think about what is causing that why are you waking up why are you not able to relax and falsely so sleep seems like for some people it is something really easy right like some people just go to bed lie down and then they fall asleep but for some other people it might take a little bit longer and might even need more technique and som

e people might end up having it to do like um sleep study but basically our body the way that our body falls asleep has multiple mechanism so one of it is called circadian rhythm so the circadian rhythm is kind of how our body interacts with um with our environment and it's something that is super deeply deeply ingrained in the human biology so the humans supposed to our biology is supposed to match our environment so there's this up and down hormone that that goes up and down throughout the day

or actually not just one multiple hormones um kind of comes and go throughout the day and that's how how human regulate our body and biology so with the circadian rhythm i'm just going to make this really simple not gonna go too much details into all the deep biochemistry and stuff but so with the circadian rhythm our eyes and actually our skin senses the sunlight so when we when our body senses that the sunlight and light there's this hormone that kind of comes up and wake us up that's how we

wake up in the morning there's um cortisol that rise and wake us up and then so basically a two main hormone is cortisol and melatonin so a lot of you probably have read and see a lot of things about melatonin and sleep so the reason why a lot of people use melatonin to sleep to help with sleep is because melatonin is the hormone that rises at night and makes you fall asleep so that's the the relaxing fall and sleep um hormones so what it does is as the day so you wake up so cortisol comes up an

d wakes you up and then you go around go about doing your whatever during the day and then as the sun comes down i'm talking about before electricity now so as the sun comes down everything is dark then your your body is not sensing that that um light anymore so the cortisol level comes down and the melatonin level slowly comes up when the melatonin level comes up you start getting sleepy and sleepier okay just one second today i have to use a different phone to do this live so here you go um ye

ah so so that's how the hormone part is working to help you fall asleep and stay asleep and that's why the melatonin works for some people but it might not because that's only one one way of falling asleep the other thing is um is we have to look at what's going on in the environment right so what i just described is normal situation like nothing is going on no wars going on nothing everything is normal fine happy so the light comes down um your melatonin goes up and then you fall asleep then th

e other scenario is is that why so the other question to ask is why is your melatonin not coming up or if you have a good melatonin level why is your body not responding to it right so we have to start asking more questions about what's causing what why is she not eating or why why she or he your child or you not falling asleep i get those questions all the time at work and like before like i have i've been a dietitian for over 20 years now like when we're in school no one ever talk talk to us a

bout how to fall asleep or how sleepy is important only until like the very past few years hi so one more actually i guess we have more and more ideas now of why or how nutrition affects sleep so i talk about the the brain chemicals or the hormones like the melatonin and cortisol so i'll talk about how nutrition comes into play with that then the other question that i'm trying to get to is what's going on in the person's life right are you having a lot of things to worry about are you having anx

iety because something happens in your life someone said something mean or your boss says something or like you also have to look at that psychological part right because sometimes i think last it was last week that i talked about um adhd and rejection so i was talking about how people with adhd both kids and adults tend to tends to be exposed to more criticism more like um negative self-talk because of all of that so like if every time someone say something we get stressed out so all that stres

s that emotional stress can affect how your body interacts so when you're stressed your body is actually using more resources so then that means that there are less resources for you to relax okay so so that's something to also look at um so the understanding the the chemicals that helps you fall asleep and relax uh so far sleep is the melatonin relaxing is serotonin so they're actually um the same because they're they actually comes from the same amino acid or same protein based um and it gets

turned into five h five htp and then serotonin melatonin and i'll talk about that later as well how how to change your eating but um yeah so those are a few things so let me just think yeah so um part of it is that the brain chemicals right brain chemicals or the hormones that helps you relax and then the other one is like the physical part of your body like how because um just just think about it right um when you're sleeping every one of us loves sleeping it's just that sometimes there's so mu

ch fun stuff to do we just don't want to go sleep but when we sleep our whole body is relaxed but if you have something bothering you from the day or even weeks before and you keep having that looping thought like oh i just hate this person like how dare he said that to me like if you have those kind of stressful things that you're constantly thinking about um then you need to to kind of figure out is that the reason why you're all tense up because when you're stressed you tense up right like yo

u just feel your muscles like i'm just so angry so when you tense up that tensing up of your body actually is um creating a feedback into your brain rate so when your body is tense it creates that feedback into your brain and like hey why is she so so stressed okay let's wake up a little bit and check out the environment because one of the job or the major job of your body or your brain is to keep you alive like the human body and human mind like this whole thing is made for survival it's made t

o watch out for all the threats and dangers around you and keep you alive like unfortunately it's job it's not to make us happy otherwise we'll be all happy people walking around on this on this earth and there'll be no caring ever right so that's what the body is so when your body is all changed your muscle is sense it sends the feedback signal that's what the body mind connection is all about like it it's a two-way connection the body and the mind mind to the body talking constantly so when yo

ur mind is calm it calms your body just just imagine just entertain me for a little bit just close your eyes now right and think of something negative think of the last time someone said something mean to you or the mean things you tell yourself and then just feel your body like just feel like how how's your heart rate how's your muscle how are you feeling right so when you have a negative feeling or negative thoughts your body acts a certain way it's more tense up but now keep your eyes closed

and think of a happy joyful moment like well valentine's day is coming up some of you might have got gotten your chocolate or flowers already but think of like the last time someone did something nice to you just think of that like how did you feel how did you feel in your chest area in your muscle how's your feeling right like those kind of things like when you're more relaxed your body responds differently so that's one of the things to think about to like thinking of trying to fall asleep are

you relaxed not just the mind relaxed but the body has to be relaxed too or if you're just like right before bed you're like watching news or on the social media reading all this news news is good because it tells us what's going on in the world but unfortunately all this news um news network and company they try and make money so they only deliver the bad news because that new sales who who wants to know oh yeah today we saved like 10 dogs from this from this cruel people or today we found the

kitty in the in the ocean drowning i would and we we helped it so no one's really cared for the good news which is unfortunate but um but yeah like just be aware of the things that you do before bed and then having a winding down that time routine will help so that's some of um the ways or the things that you think about like what's going on in your head are you relaxed and then the brain chemicals or or um brain chemicals and hormones running in your body so so then knowing a few things that c

ould oh yeah i'll talk about that differently okay so knowing that those could be a few things that might be stopping you from falling asleep and how we're going to hack that knowledge use that knowledge to hack their brain to get them to fall asleep and stay asleep right so so falling asleep a lot of times it's difficult for people staying asleep is also difficult so i'll talk about both of them okay so actually um what i just talked about is about the fall and sleep part so a lot of people hi

so a lot of people have issues staying out of sleep too so let me talk about that a little bit so staying asleep um means that you fall asleep then you just sleep sleep sleep and then wake up in the morning the normal time whatever time you set your alarm or the time that you're supposed to wake up but i do see a lot of patients at work that they also have problems some of them have problems fall and sleep too but sometimes they have like i don't have problems while i sleep i just have problems

staying don't wake up like two three times at night so why is that why is that happening so again we have to look into the the underlying cause the why right so remember i mentioned earlier so throughout the day you make this cortisol and serotonin melatonin all of those things and actually there are more but at night that remember that hormone that makes you fall asleep the melatonin so so the melatonin makes you fall asleep right then the question to ask is what's causing you to wake up are yo

u having a bad dream because sometimes that can wake you up or or then the other question is is it because the melatonin the body runs out of melatonin or is something triggering the body making cortisol so one of the things that you should look into is what you eat the day or not maybe the day maybe look at what you ate at dinner or even the bedtime snack so this past week i just saw a patient he's trying to eat healthy but then he's like you know i just can't sleep well because one of the thin

gs when you don't sleep well it actually messes with a lot of your hormones in your body like not just the ones we're talking about that help with sleeping and whatnot but um when you're not sleeping well it affects your appetite as well the ghrelin and the leptin that those are hormones that control your fullness and and hunger and those hormones are can be messed up and is proven with studies so when you're working when you're not sleeping enough the reason why you're waking up in the middle o

f the night could be because your blood sugar is low so look at what you eat at at dinner time and also at bedtime like that's why um a lot of people often say oh what time should i stop eating at night and i was like well if you're hungry at that time i think you should eat something um before you go to bed and i do that myself too because i know that if i don't eat something like if i'm hungry hungry at that time i try to eat something because um and i'll explain why so going back to how your

body is a is a survival machine right so say you eat an early dinner say six o'clock seven o'clock you have dinner then you didn't have anything to eat and then you go to sleep so from six to twelve that's like six hours and then 12 to the next morning six o'clock that's another 12 hour so if you try to eat something okay let's see what we're eating say your dinner you eat just whatever stuff like not the most healthiest thing right then you go to sleep and then you wake up in the middle of the

night and usually chances is you wake up in the middle of the night is because the cortisol level is up so there's few things that cause the cortisol level go up one we talked about earlier is when the when we senses the sun coming up and we sense the sunlight then that will triggers the cortisol to wake up and then when of course cortisol comes up it wakes us up and the uh and when cortisol is up melatonin goes down they goes the opposite of each other the other reason that the cortisol might b

e coming up could be because when you're you don't have enough resources at night so maybe you didn't eat the correct food or wrong kind of carbs or didn't eat for a long period of time so when you go to sleep and not have all that resources in your body your blood sugar gets too low and when your blood sugar gets too low that triggers stress a stress response and remember that's how your body function it is a survival machine anytime low blood sugar it is a stress um event for the body so when

your body senses the blood sugar is low then it's like it flips on that that fight or fight response and triggers stress response and stress hormones and wake up the whole body so you wake up and you're like i don't know what's going on why did i wake up so that's that's one of the reasons so your stress hormone goes up and now we have to go further back and and ask the question why is your stress hormone up now right so i imagine when your blood sugar is slow that can trigger stress hormones to

go up then go back one more then why is your body's blood sugar low then we'll have to go back more and look at what the what did you eat before dinner when was the last time you eat i mean what did you eat before you go to that and what was when was the last meal you ate before you go to bed because all those is going to to help you explain what's causing that potential drop in blood sugar and then the rise in the cortisol so um i think one of the things that as a society not many people actua

lly talks about like if you look at all these like things you see on social media everywhere people only talk about carbs they said oh yeah carbs keto i'm on a keto diet i cut all carbs i'm on a low carb diet so i count all my carbs but the thing is people are not understanding that they're different kind of carbs they're good carbs and bad carbs so they ended up just cutting out all the carbs and um and the story i was trying to tell you earlier about this patient that i saw this week um he say

s that he have no problem fall asleep but he wakes up like like in three or four hours after he's fallen asleep and then in the morning when he wakes up he gets all cranky and angry and irritable so that i asked him so what do you eat at dinner so he tried to be super healthy so he eats a pretty low carb dinner so just vegetables and meat but then he's like but i was like do you have any sugar cravings throughout the day he's like yeah i do crave things like sweets i was like what what time do y

ou usually have that craving like in the afternoon or what time he's like usually after dinner so then i start asking him more so so dinner he doesn't eat any carbs so mostly just some non starchy some greens and meat and then he'll get cravings for things like ice cream cookies desserts like the really sweet things right so you see how like sometimes when when you try to eat too healthy and not listening to your body but just listening to a fitness group say this is how you eat that's one one o

f the things that i'm trying to undo like in this whole culture is teaching people how to listen to the body rather than listening to a guru who don't know you so so i was like so do you see that because you're cutting out all the carbs from your dinner you kind of put yourself in a situation for for craving some sugar and carbs right so i told him rather than like just eating super healthy at dinner and then ended up craving for all this sugar because he's like cutting out rice and potatoes so

i asked him so between the rice potato and pasta and the cookies ice cream that you're eating after dinner which carb do you think is better i think the rice probably is better right so i said okay so start adding rice to your dinner every night like i don't eat rice anyway but that's something whatever that that you want for your carbs but i was like just just add some rice just a little bit it doesn't have to be a lot you just need enough to stop you from having that sugar cravings after dinne

r so that's what what he did and that's that's kind of like um some of the things that you have to look into right so he tried he's super healthy at dinner then he ended up with this sugar craving so he's eating all these ice cream cookies and desserts after dinner before he's back so guess what happened when you eat all that super sugary intense quick sugar what happened is you get that spike in blood sugar when you eat um very refined sugar and carbs what you get is you get a quick spike of bl

ood sugar but you also get a big um what you call that a big drop in blood sugar shortly after we call that the the blood sugar roller coaster and um yeah we used to call that something called reactive hypoglycemia so basically it's just a medical term to explain hi to explain why your blood sugar suddenly drop after eating certain food and i i talk about reactive hypoglycemia before but i think i'm now smarter and i understand what causes it so it's basically when you eat something that is very

very sweet you get that spike and then you drop and funny story it happens to me and like i said i'm a lot smarter now understanding more of this because i swear god if i know this earlier i wouldn't be won't have done what i did but like i said the nutrition school that i want to they don't teach about all these like smart things they just teach us how to memorize protocols so let's see oh oreo cookies okay right so one day i was home by myself and i decided to have oreo cookies you know like

as a dietitian we're trained that every food you can eat right like all the carbs are the same and when we teach when i used to teach my patient counting carbs i just thought oh eat whatever you want if you want that piece of cake want that candy you can't eat it as long as this fits in your carbs you can have it doesn't matter so we don't know about the fact that i don't understand all this thing like i just know that oh yeah it's a carbs so it goes in the body get processed put into the cells

and my body use it but then i didn't have that knowledge back then that some some cards spike your blood sugar and some just keep it even but anyway my story so one day i was hungry at home else by myself i was like oh let's eat some oreo cookies okay i don't know if this is maybe a bench thing or i was craving sugar at that time i think i have either three or six oreo cookies okay if any one of you have a bag of oreo cookies go look at the nutrition label like i don't usually read nutrition lab

el but as a dietitian i was like my patient eat oral cookies i'll eat oral cookies how bad could that be right i ate eaters three or six i can't remember what how many i have and then i ate and enjoyed it i loved it and then next thing i know i was on the floor like i i found myself lying on the floor and the tv this is like over 10 years ago so if some of you remember the tv before it's not like the skinny one we have nowadays right the tv like before we have a huge tv right i don't know how ma

ny inches but the tv was like this big like literally i cannot pick up that tv at all it was huge but i wake up on the floor and the tv was right next to me like on the floor right next to me so i was like i woke up like oh my god why am i on the floor and why is this ginormous tv like next to me on the floor so then i i think so i was like dude i just passed out and felt felt and and dropped the tv next to me because if i fall a little bit to the wrong direction just a little bit that tv would

have landed on me and i was so lucky it was like right next to me like next to my arm just like that like if it's a little bit closer it will happen on my on my arm but i don't know yeah so i was like oh my god like i ate those oreo cookies by itself and that passed down so super then again at that time i didn't blame the food right i just thought oh my god i have high proactive no reactive hypoglycemia so i was blaming myself thinking that it is my problem but again like i said i'm a lot smarte

r now so i was like oh yeah it's that sugar in the oreo cookies and um and i have to admit i'm not the best dietitian because i don't read nutrition label because i really just enjoy my food but anyway so recently a few weeks ago i was doing a um diabetes education for a new diabetic in the hospital and then more like i was teaching the parents how to read the nutrition labels so i was like oh i asked that hey do you have anything in your bag or something that has a nutrition label on it and the

n he pulled out a package of of oral cookies i was like i hope you're not giving that to your kids but but i was like okay let's look at the nutrition label you're gonna tell me how many surfing is in in um is what was one serving and i can't remember one or two cookies something like that it might be one cookie and then i was like okay how many grams of carbs is in in that total curves now i think he said 10 or something i can't remember like i said if you have a pack of oreo cookies um pull ou

t and milk and then i said okay look in the ingredients what's the first two ingredients and i think in the oreo cookies i think the first ingredient is actually sugar because i remember i was shocked because usually the sugar is in the second second ingredients which is a lot too if it's in the second ingredient it is still a lot but it is in the first ingredients like i was like oh my god this thing is like pure sugar but anyway that was the story that i watched here so basically what i've tri

ed to explain is that when you eat the wrong kind of carbs it can cause a sugar spike and then super quick drop in your blood sugar and like that incident where i passed that it didn't even happen that that long after i ate the oreo cookies like basically i and i didn't even know how long i was out on the floor floor but um it was actually quite quick like probably within a few minutes that i i think i passed out because i didn't even go that far away so but um yeah so eating the wrong kind of c

arbs or if you're just eating a lot of carbs and not enough protein that could cause the blood sugar change in your system so yeah so those are some of the things so then how you how are you going to correct some of the things that we just talked about and then help yourself or your kids to fall asleep easier right so like so first of all we talk about the hormones and the brain chemicals so how can we raise the melatonin so again melatonin is a hormone um you can call brain chemicals too so it

comes from the amino acid tryptophan let me think i think it's true of that so tryptophan becomes 5 htp hydroxyl tryptophan hydroxyl yeah 85 htp and then 5htp gets converted into serotonin then gets converted into melatonin so that means that and this is this all also applies to the other adhd brain chemicals as well is brain chemicals and hormones are protein so that means that you need to be on a higher protein diet that's the reason why that's one reason why i don't advocate the vegan diet fo

r people with adhd because vegan as a vegan you have to eat a lot of vegan protein to get all the amino acid that you want especially with kids who are who are very picky getting them to eat some of those vegan protein is really difficult so animal animal protein is a lot better option because you can get a lot of amino acid in a small amount of protein or meat um so protein helps to create more brain chemicals and the other part is relaxing your body right kind of like doing that relaxation um

bring down the stress level so your body is like oh okay this is cool no stress nothing and worry i can relax now so there are different things to help with that you can do meditations like for my daughter we used to do um foot massage when she was little i used to rub her feet and then she'll fall asleep um you can read a book to also help calm down the body and just stay away from anything like blue light like um the screen with the the phone or your computers and keeping all the lights low ar

ound the house so when the lights are low remember when you your body or your eye senses like blue light which is the same as sunlight it it thinks that it is daytime like oh it's daytime we'll keep the cortisol up so he or she can have enough energy to do things throughout the day but you don't want that so at night if you want to go fall asleep keep the lights down low some people use like um the blue light glasses which i have like i use that at night to for blue light glasses so it blocks ou

t the blue light to my eyes and um and then the other thing is um so protein food food massage relax the body and then the other thing is like i don't know if i've said that meditation you can do some meditation but for some people that might sound like oh my god so much work just do quiet time that's why i caught just lie down and then close your eyes and tell your body to relax okay that's some of the things that i'm trying to teach people to do is try learn to communicate with the body becaus

e we know your mind and your body is connected and your body is connected to your brain so that means that you have control of your body so you need to learn to talk to your body in a way to make your body function better for you and not let your body just control you and then you feel like you're out of control you just and it's gonna be a practice just like anything else just like riding a bike learning how to drive how to swim and all those so yeah you just lie there close your eyes and just

just say relax and think of happy images so you can relax so that's one i'm not going to go too much into that and then um so melatonin you can take a melatonin supplement that's good too some people think that it is bad but i was like you know the body makes melatonin anyway so you can either take so you know how i talk about melatonin comes from the protein tryptophan then serotonin that gets turned into serotonin and then melatonin so you can either take the melatonin or you can take the tryp

tophan with the tryptophan you can take the 5 htp um the precursor to serotonin and melatonin so the 5-htp can actually take it in the morning during the day because during the day it's not going to be converted into melatonin because remember your body only makes melatonin when it figure that it is the right time to do so so like for those of you who have anxiety or or having problem counting down 5-htp is good because it will be converted to serotonin 2 which is the same brain chemicals that a

nti-depressant try to keep the level up because one class of antidepressant is called the ssi ssri serotonin reuptake inhibitor okay i might have messed up the acronyms but um yeah basically the antidepressants suppress the body from from um clearing out the serotonin so to keep the serotonin level up so during the day you can take the five htp to keep the serum serotonin level up that will keep you calm and at night time that serotonin can be converted into melatonin and get you to go to sleep

and hopefully you have enough serotonin enough melatonin overnight to keep you asleep and also making sure that the dinner the dinner or the snack you have before bed is something that is high in protein and not super carb heavy so remember when you eat a fair carb healthy very sugary very intense sugar you're gonna get that sugar spike and then the sugar drop overnight and that drop in blood sugar can wake you up at night or for some people make sure you go to your bathroom because you have all

that extra sugar your body is like let's rinse that out so yeah so uh basically higher protein throughout the day to get the the right kind of protein to help you make the brain chemicals to get your function normally and then the other supplements that i like to use to help with sleep is magnesium and i think a lot of people who are who kind of do a lot of online research looking at like oh what what supplements good for for adhd and a lot of a lot of places and sites talk about how magnesium

actually is good for adhd so it's not just good for adhd but magnesium is a very very important electrolyte in the human body because magnesium is involved in like about 300 different biochemical reactions in the body but what makes magnesium super for adhd is remember i talk about the stress like when you're stressed your body tense up and when you tense up you're less likely to to fall asleep so what uh magnesium does is besides the other 299 different reactions one of the things that magnesiu

m does is it relaxes the muscle so to contract the muscle we need calcium to relax we need magnesium that's why you notice that a lot of the calcium supplements actually have magnesium in it because it is the balance between calcium and magnesium that helps us control our muscle so if you notice that your muscle is always tense or you just feel like you're always tense or you have headaches like migraine headaches tension headaches or if you're women and you have menstrual cramps all the time ta

ke magnesium supplement because bad crams is probably because you don't have enough magnesium to relax that muscle so that's what magnesium does people often think that oh yeah magnesium helps with sleeping so i shouldn't take it during the day right so that's not true so like i said magnesium is not an electrolyte or anything that makes you sleep it just relaxes your muscle when you can relax then your mind relax then you fall asleep that's what magnesium does so you can take magnesium any time

of the day um you can take the pills i usually i like this and i don't have it here with me i like this supplement called concentrate and it's a it's actually an electrolyte um or trace metal drops that you just drop in your water and i drink that like usually i have a cup of tea and then whenever i i refill my cup with water i put a couple drops in it and the reason why i like that is because there's nothing else in it there's no sugar there's no artificial flavors no natural flavors nothing t

oo high it's just 200 milligrams of magnesium have some sodium chloride some lithium which also helps you to relax and some other trace minerals so i like that combination of not just magnesium but other things else as well and i can post the link here somewhere in the comment later after this so i like using that um to help me realize throughout the day but um but lately i've been more relaxed because i don't have anything stress me out because i i kind of figure out my my thought process with

my work so i don't give a crap there anymore um but yeah also so those are things that you can do or take to relax you and the other thing is like just ask yourself what's causing you stress right now right like is there something like money because there's a few things that feel common things that cause stress in most people like like your relationship money your job uh and then i think those are maybe school or your business so those are a few things that stresses you out so just think if ther

e's any area in your life that's causing you stress and maybe for kids maybe bully in the school and then but um the thing is with bullying or kids say mean things is like you can't really do much about like you can't stop the other kids being mean to you but what you can do is change your thinking like you know what just think that people say mean things actually not just bullying school like we often talk about bullying um with kids in school but bullying happens in adult world too but it's ju

st different and i think adult as adult we don't say it as bullying we just say that oh my coworker is really mean my boss is really rude to me things like that and i do have a story like that one one of the dietitian for some reason she just hated me but i figured what it is so this is what bullying is and we're supposed to talk about sleep we're talking about bullying but it's okay it causes stress so because i know like when you felt like you've been singled out at school or at work not being

treated fairly it gets you really upset because that's what causing me very upset the last couple months or last year but i figured that out and i'll talk about that probably in my other um instagram account one of this day but what you need to understand is when people say mean things to you do mean things to you or just bullying you for no reason really is is not for no reason and the reason has nothing to do with you you didn't do anything you didn't say anything and it all has to do with th

e other person when someone say mean things do mean things exclude you do all this that bad things to make you feel bad it's usually because they don't feel good about themselves so they have to make you suffer have to make you look bad to make them look good it's kind of like um like how marisa my teacher talks about so it's like a see-saw right so you have one side up and down so these people who are mean to you or your bully you should have very low self-esteem just think about happy people p

eople who confident with themselves they don't go around and make other people's life miserable only miserably miserable people make other people miserable or we can't hurt people hurt people so they're hurt inside the house i have to hurt other people so the way it is is this is your bully or your mean boss or your main co-worker and they're bullying you and the reason why is because this is how they look at you you're you're better than me so i'm gonna make your life miserable so i can be bett

er than you so if they say mean things to you make you feel bad they make you they make you in their mind they make you less worthy of them than in that case they're better than you so another way to think about it is that's why i think you do that if you have a hater in your life who hates you and just make your life miserable congratulate yourself because you're good enough that you actually have someone who thinks you're so better than them because you know how we often think that we're not g

ood enough everyone's better than me but this person who hates you actually thinks very highly of you so that's why they're being rude and mean to you and then to to deal with that is changing that that understanding right now you know they're mean to you not because not because you're a bad person it's because they think that they're a bad person now with that understanding you should be able to undo um that bad feeling with a with a bull and just just stand up to to them and say are you trying

to make me feel bad like i understand that you don't like yourself and that's why you're doing things to other people you just tell them straight the street truth and then just don't let it in with fully what they want is for you to get upset and for you to react that's what they want but if you don't give them what they want they'll stop it's like giving them the walk they can keep saying mean things to you and the wall's not going anywhere and then they'll stop just just don't get into the fi

ght it's like how i explain to my daughter all the time you you don't fight or argue with crazy like you can never win like in hawaii you have a lot of homeless crazy people and they're walking around talking to themselves i was like if this crazy person come up to you and tell you that you're stupid are you gonna start arguing the thumb and try to win that argument you're probably not because you're like that person is crazy first of all i'm not gonna ever win that conversation second of all it

wastes my time to argue with him and third of all if i argue with that crazy person it just makes me as crazy right so not worth it so it's the same with bully don't engage with them and just tell them you know what say whatever you want i don't care you just don't feel good about yourself and you have to make me feel bad just to make yourself feel good that's how you how you do with the world that's your problem not mine and i just walk away anyway so that's kind of a little bit off topic but

i just want to talk about stress because like i said that's something that i kind of experience with my own work experience having someone who is really mean and do very mean things to me despite the fact that i have a lot more experience as a dietitian as this person but i think she feels threatened by me so but anyway she's not there anymore and i don't care anyway so um before i go i want to announce something so some of you might have noticed um there's a few announcement so there's this thi

s event an amazing amazing event like if you want to learn more about adhd and listen from all different um experts and people with specialty and everything from different angles and everything you should um you should join this adhd what now submit and it's happening actually in a few days it's it's a 10 day summit so it's 10 days long over i can't remember 10 to 20 different adhd experts so we all kind of have our own areas that we talked to and i'm one of them so it's totally free it starts f

rom february 15 through 20 february 25th so if you're free on those days you can sign up and i'll post that i can't remember the signup link but i'll put a signup link in the comment as well so that way you all have the access to it and enjoy some free and amazing information to help you and your your kids live with adhd or live better with adhd because you have better understanding and remember adhd can be a super power a lot of a lot of a lot a lot a lot of world leaders big world changers ent

repreneurs athletes they all have adhd but they didn't let the diagnosis of adhd slow them down and prevent them from becoming the best of who they could be they use it they embrace it and use it as a superpower to get them to where they they are so i want you to remember that adhd is not a death sentence it is something that can be used in a in a very good way it's just like anything else like water and electricity you can kill someone with water or drown someone you can kill someone by driving

them in water or you can cure someone by giving someone super thirsty and dehydrated water so water and electricity are same thing it can kill someone or do wonderful things adhd is the same if you look at adhd as a as a defect of you and it's something that is bad it's going to do bad things for you but if you look at it as something that you know like someone with a disability but they still continue to survive and thrive look at adhd as just that um it's the word i was translating is that oh

it's just an inconvenient that you can kind of circumvent around and still achieve great things like even though sometimes i don't complete a task in one sitting but i always come back after a few days to complete it so it's something that you just kind of learn to live with but i know it's easier said than done and some of you probably hating that for saying that but um i just want you to understand that don't feel like it's the end of the world okay and keep coming back well we'll keep talkin

g about different ways and how you can live with adhd more productively and more happily because i don't want you to just be depressed and not do anything okay all right all right it's been quite quite a morning and we've gone through talk about a lot of things so i'll see you guys next week okay bye see y'all later