How to Love a Sista | Documentary | Full Movie | Black Families

♪♪ - Don't let nobody tell you that I'm in the market for a husband. Of course I would be, but they don't sell husbands in a market. -Wow. Women prefer men with polished manners, don't they, Beulah? - You just give me the man, I'll do my own polishing. (Laughs) ♪♪ [Narrator] Misunderstood. She's made many contributions to society since the very beginning that are often overlooked. To understand her plight, we must first go back to Africa where it all started. We were brought here as slaves well

over 400 years ago. Our families torn apart without any hopes of ever seeing one another again. Slavery was the vehicle used to disband the unification of the black family, as it was. Slave owners such as William Lynch upheld very harsh tactics to control slaves. As a result of slavery and its practices, the black family structure was misaligned, which had a lasting effect on generations that followed. ♪ The trumpet sounds within my soul. ♪ - A lot of people don't even know the story of African-

Americans... African-American families through enslaving and the kind of horrors and the terrorism in which they've actually subdued, I mean, consistently and constantly. I think about Toni Morrison's book, "Beloved," where she tries to... um re-articulate... um... In the imaginations of people how a black mother had to wrestle with killing her own child as opposed to selling it into slavery. I mean that kinda... those kind of decisions, you know, during our enslavement, we... we really don't un

derstand, we really can't comprehend, but those were real decisions. Being married to somebody, but knowing that the slave master could at any point can come in and rape your wife and that your wife is carrying your your master's child and having to raise that child, I mean, those kind of things are really, really deep and searing things that sometimes I think we don't really understand that story. And if we do understand that story, then we know that we found a way to go through it and that we

can still do that today. [Narrator] Only a few years ago, we were a discouraged people. Because we were the first to lose our jobs when old man depression came along and the last to get them back, we struggled vainly to regain our bearings while depression, fear and failure stalked the nation. A tenth of the population of the United States, we formed as a race over a sixth of the unemployed. One out of every four of us was on relief. In vain, we sought for something to restore our confidence, ou

r hope, our courage. Without jobs, we had no money. And without money, we could not purchase food for the hungry mouths at home. Our only hope lay in charity. Hunger drove our people to the bread lines. Anxiously, we waited, waited for some sign of better days. Then came the federal government's work program. One by one, it took us out of the bread line. It gave us a new chance to take a normal place in the life of our community. It made us self-supportive. It changed the haggard, hopeless faces

of the bread line into faces filled with hope and happiness. For now, we work again. ♪♪ - If society has set certain standards for manhood, and only men could be the head of a household, if that individual cannot live up to those standards, then is he fit to be head of a household? And if he cannot live up to those standards, and he cannot reach these levels of manhood, then does he have the responsibility to walk away from his household because he is not the leader of the household himself? Th

is is the psychology of it. And how is this important to the black community? It is important to the black community because the racial environment of the United States have always limited the abilities of black men to meet the requirement of manhood. And if they could not fulfill those requirements to be considered a "man," meaning that they could not provide for the family, in particular the black female, who is sacrificed, who has already made sacrifices, then what then does that do to him? W

hat stress is put on the black man? Does that make it easier for the black man to turn and walk away? ♪ Pharaoh's army get drowned, ♪ ♪ Oh, Mary, don't you weep. ♪ [Poet] Dear beautiful, I no longer believe in you. No longer believe in what defines you because-because of her. She is beyond the word beauty. She is history in the skin tone, the color of her struggle. Her backbone is built, is built to never be broken by the weight of this unbalanced world. She is the daydreams of little black girl

s wishing, wanting to be more than just the object of lust in the next video. Black women like this are made of God, muscle, and masters of never being defeated. She is Coretta's heart beating after Martin's death. She is the exhale from Betty Shabazz's lungs after she is hung Malcolm's last suit. Women like this are bulletproof souls. Sade's hunting melody with Mahalia Jackson's spirit and Aretha Franklin's rhythm rocking in the bones. She is a movement refusing to move from her bus seat. She i

s a fallout shelter we all seek; a safe haven with a smile chiseled in the image of heaven. These women, these warriors of a revolution yet to come are here fighting stereotypes and misconceptions while conceiving life and giving birth to a new generation of torchbearers and fire-starters. These old flames spanning the embers of fresh sparks in her eyes, her walk, her lean, her curves, her promise, her forgiveness, her anger, her pain, her sadness, her tears, her laughter, her perm, her locks, h

er ceaser, her weave, her stilettos, flip-flop flats, Tims, and sneaks, her PhD, her, her wise to city streets, her, her dancer from strip-pole to Broadway and Paris shows, who barely keeping her beat with two left feet. Her knowledge of bus routes and subways her convertible and jet planes her corporate leader from 9 to 5 to housewife making sure family survives her cooking for the soul, her ability to burn cereal. All of what make her beautiful, so beautiful, I no longer believe in you anymore

because... because I've met her Signed sincerely, the black man. [Narrator] Sisters, if you were a flower ready to be picked, would you prefer to be picked by a flower picker or a gardener? A flower picker is just that... He is inexperienced and doesn't have the proper knowledge in handling you. A gardener is very seasoned in nurturing you and understanding your needs so that you may blossom into a beautiful flower. There are far more flower pickers today than gardeners. ♪♪ ♪ Kwame, ♪ ♪ De-Sol.

♪ ♪ Come on. ♪ ♪ Pain in the struggle. ♪ - There are um... a little, uh... a lot of good black men and you know I have sisters and... that say that well there are no good black men and that is not true. - When you're dating, and you're relationship to relationship to relationship, you tend to establish patterns and a lot of times people don't want to look at their place in those relationships. - My experiences with black men have been actually pretty good. Black men being loyal, ummm... being h

onest... Um... being God-fearing which is a big thing for me, ummm... being hard working, wanting to experience life traveling and just pretty much not staying in the box. So I've had those good black men in my life. I've had some strange in situations with different black men... um... that I think are just downright worthless, trifling, garbage, all of that. - I grew up with primarily my mother and my sister. My parents divorced when I was 10 and it was tough and just yesterday I referenced tha

t with a male friend of mine of certain things are said or done and it will trigger that feeling of abandonment or the feeling of nobody cares just about me. But, I still wish I had time with my father so I really knew, would know how you should be treated. Everything from opening the door for a little girl to picking her up and just those things that I feel like I would know to expect more versus thinking I need someone to protect me. So it's different and then seeing that my parents didn't get

along and there was definitely a huge issue that I saw that I understood them not being together but I didn't like it and I know it affects how I interact with men and my trust level isn't very high or it'll be there but as soon as I see a sign I'm like okay. - I think black men are afraid of commitment and I think once they are in a commitment they don't know how to treat a woman. They may treat the woman like one of their boys or they're just not as um... Soft and caring with the woman. - Now

that I'm getting a little older, you know some of my decisions or thoughts about marriage are definitely changed and towards the... You know, leaning more towards being married. - If I'm seriously dating a guy, um... I want him to feel like he is the man in my life. Um... I don't want to throw anything up in his face. Um... I don't want to belittle him... um... I do have a very smart mouth and I'm always popping off at the mouth, but when I'm m... When I'm dating a guy seriously, I have a compl

etely different way that I come at that guy... um... from the way that I normally behave like around my friends or other people like... and it's not that I'm changing who I am but it's just that I know that I'm in a relationship with that and I have to respect certain boundaries and that's what I try to do. I try to be conscious of that and not make him feel like I'm trying to belittle him or berate him or I'm not respecting who he is. - If you tell me you're going to do something and you don't

do it, then you can't be mad because I stepped up and did it. So that goes to... um... the woman wearing the pants and not the skirt. I would love to wear a skirt. ♪♪ (laughing) - Hey, Lisa, girl. - Hey I thought y'all got lost. - Got lost? - Hey sugar-foot. -Girl, please. You know I had to wait on this one. - Now, y'all know how I do now. I don't go anywhere unless I look fab-u-lous! Alright! (laughing) [Sophie and Lisa] We know. - Anyway. Lisa, you lookin' kind of fly, girl. - Thank you. - Who

did it? - Now, you know I don't just let anybody mess in my head. - Anyway, who up in here? - Well, it does look good. - Thank you. - I love your home. - You know I've sat on the market almost three years because of the economy? - I can believe it. It's hard on a lot of people right now. - Tell me about it. You mind giving me a hand in the kitchen? - Girl, no, I'd love to. - Everything's basically done. I just need a little help moving these trays into Tony's man cave. - Man cave? Tony has a ma

n cave? - Yes, girl. A man cave. As long as he keeps them off the streets, he can have whatever he wants. What's wrong, Sophie? You know you went around the kitchen. Mi casa es su casa. - I know, I'm just admiring your home. Thinking about how nice it must be to purchase one. - Well, go buy yourself one. It's not like you don't have the money. - Buying is not the issue. It's the home maintenance I have a problem with. You know I'm not the one to be worrying about mowing the lawn or trimming hedg

es. - That's why you need a man in your life. That's his job. - Please don't start. - You know I'm telling the truth. (doorbell) I'll be right back. ♪ All his wants and needs, ♪ ♪ he's my baby. ♪ ♪ Yeah. ♪ - I definitely have a brick wall up. I'm very like it is what it is... Like let me know what you want from me and I'm gonna let you know what I want from you. Whereas I should just basically go with the flow and be patient and take time. I need to know I'll rip like are you gonna stay or you g

onna go? What we gonna do? Are you gonna be my cut buddy? Am I rocking with you? Let me know what it is, because I don't have time to play with you. Period. [Interviewer] You meet a young man and right now he's probably working down at Walmart making about eight bucks an hour. - Um-huh - Uhhhu... So obviously, he may be making less money than you. -Um-huh - But, he has goals... -Um-huh - Would you date him? - I would consider it. It depends on what type of person he is. - Well, what type of goal

s must he have for you to consider it? - I mean I want a man who has a vision for his life. I mean if he just wants to work at Walmart his... for the rest of his life. I mean, that's not really what I'm looking for. - What if he wants to be manager? - Well, if he wants to be manager... I mean... (laugh) Oh God. (laugh) Reggie, Imma kill you? You backed me into a corner. - Upward mobility. - You... You backed me into a corner on that one. ♪♪ - Oh my God! ♪♪ - Girl, guess who just asked about you?

- Who? - Kevin. - Kevin? Kevin who? - Please do not act like you did not see that fine specimen of a man out there. - You remind me of the rising of the sun in the early morn. Bursting through the dawn in perfect form. The sky thirst for your beauty to embrace your light. For they know that without your strength who could appreciate the beauty of the earth? Hi, my name is, Kevin, but my friends call me, Kev. - Nice to meet you, Kevin. - The pleasure is all mine. I have something for you. Is it

okay? - Why, sure... I guess. - Am I safe in guessing that this is your favorite? - Was it that obvious? - No. But, it made me wonder which was better, the taste of the strawberries, or your lips? - What y'all doing? And where the food at? A sister is hungry. Y'all serving these hors d'oeuvres and appetizers and whatever the hell... I want some real food. Uh... Did I miss the memo? Cause since when did you get a man? - Stephanie, this is, Kevin. Kevin, this is one of my best friends, Stephanie.

- Hi, Stephanie, it's nice to meet you. - Um-huh um-huh You know I seen you somewhere before. You play ball? - I played ball back in college. I didn't quite make it to the pros. - You used to play for the NBA D-League. And there was a lot of interest in you. So what happened? - Stephanie! - What? He is a grown ass man. And if he doesn't want to answer the question then he can tell me. Not you, Mother Teresa. - Nah... nah, it's... it's cool. It's cool. I don't mind telling the story. - See. - I w

as on my way from practice and I was amped. Had some scouts out and I was geared up. It was a good day. Got to a red light and the light turned green. Bam! Everything went black. When I awoke I realized my leg had been amputated. - Oh man... Ummm... I'm so sorry for bringing that up. - It's a... it's alright. I learned to walk pretty well on my prosthetic leg. Would you like to see it? (laugh) - Ah hee hee hell! And It wasn't even all that funny. Well Mr. Saturday Night Live, what do you do for

a living? Seriously? - I'm in sports management. - Girl, he is a sports agent. - Steph, calm down. - Calm down? Girl, you know you need a man! - I am not desperate. - Lisa, did you hear this chick? - I hear her. - Okay. ♪♪ - So Sophie, what do you want in a man? Someone who believes in a being higher than himself. Strong, funny, intelligent, works at being the better human being, involved in the community. Someone who desires to be an example of leadership and pay it forward, you know? - Mmm...

So eloquently spoken. You know you'd be surprised how many women don't have a clue of what they wanted in a man. - Well, you're with a big girl now and I know exactly what I want and I have no problem expressing that. How about you? - In a few words, I want a woman just like you. ♪♪ - It's beautiful in here. Mmm... that looks delicious. - Yes, it does. - Well, it is delicious. Can I get you guys anything else tonight? - No thanks, we're fine. - Thank you. - You're welcome. - I remember you like

strawberries. - I'm impressed. Delicious. - Now that's what I remember. Those lips are like a glimpse of heaven. (kiss) - That was unexpected. - Well that's the tradition of fondue. - Really? - Yeah. You kiss your partner... Every time you dip a piece of fruit in the fondue pot. (kissing) - My parents divorced when I was two years old. Um... My dad was and has always been a part of my life. And I also had uncles who were married and have been married for 50 plus years. So, I've always had a mode

l to look to in terms of what I want in a marriage. I think one of the things that my parents divorced provided me with was an idea of what I don't want to do. - The women who I know who grew up with fathers in their homes, who grew up with... Even if the relationship between the parents wasn't functional, they know how to deal with men much better than women who did not grow up with a father in the home or brothers or close grandfather, uncle, what have you. And so I even noticed that just in t

erms of my own awareness and girlfriends that I had. You know, you have a... well I have a good group of girlfriends, but I would notice the ones who were in marriages and who were functioning in marriages, they were the ones who had had a man in a meaningful relationship with that man throughout the course of their lives. And it does make a difference because now you're modeling what you grew up with. But if you don't have a frame of reference, then your frame of reference comes from the street

s. - Can't live with 'em Can't live without 'em You need them your in life. Um... To a certain point, I just, I give all... I take my hat off to 'em, but... You need to get rid of the attitudes. - That's the biggie. [Interviewer] Attitudes? - Attitude, man. It's like, you know... - you wanna relate - It ain't for the weak. - Yeah, we're not... we want to relate to sisters, but man, it's just like... It's like you come up against that wall, that attitude, man, and it's just like, God, like, reall

y? You know, it's... Some things are just like, you don't even have to argue about, but it'll become an argument, you know what I'm saying? And... It's just a lot, you know? And I don't like that. Outside of the attitude, hey, thumbs up. But... That attitude is... I'm allergic to it. [Interviewer] Most of them feel like they have an attitude based on what they've been getting from brothers over the years. - Let me say something about that. Honestly, you got to think about it That's life. It ain'

t just brothers, you know. I shouldn't have to pay for what another man did, just like when I get into a relationship, when I was getting into a relationship with sisters. You know, I didn't take out on them what the last sister did to me. So there's no... You know, that's just a cop-out. To me, that's a cop-out, because they wouldn't let us do that. So, I don't think it's really fair, you know what I'm saying? For them to be... That's their lead way to get what they want, or to get by, or to sa

y, well, that's just how we are. No, that's how you decide to be. - Exactly. My thing is... my take is... and I know ladies are watching this film, but don't get mad at me, but I feel like a lot of sisters are emotionally irresponsible. And what I mean by that is, you go into these relationships wide open, willing to give everything up front. You know, your love, your time, your emotions, everything. And then it's like, when the brother don't reaper... What's what I'm looking for? Ummm... recipr

ocate... That that same uh... openness and willing to give you everything up front, then it's a problem. You know what I'm saying? And not every man that you meet is going to be your man... you know? And I think a lot of times, you know, you meet a nice person, a nice guy, and thinking, okay, this is the one. This might be the one. And every time, you know, this might be the one, and then this might be the one. And then you get tired of trying to find the one, and then, you know, you get that wa

ll, and here's that attitude, and, you know... But, you were emotionally irresponsible. You know what I'm saying? Be a little bit more responsible with your emotions. Take it slow. Every man you meet ain't going to be your husband, or your... your boo thang. Some men are just there to say, you know, hey, how you doing? You know? Let's get a bite for you. Let me get to know you a little bit. You know? I'm not here to try to be your husband today. You know? ♪♪ - I had a wonderful evening. - So did

I. - I have coffee, maybe a Heineken. Would you like to come in? - I would love to but, I promised a friend that I'd help her move tomorrow, so... I'm sorry. - Wow! Well, thanks for a wonderful evening. Good night. - Good night. ♪♪ - I see men are from across the board. I mean all ethnicity, Indian, Asian, African-American, White. But I see a lot of brothers in some of the programs we deal with across and... across the age spectrum. The main thing I see is issues of expectations, entitlement, p

rivilege, and not a real realistic understanding of what a relationship is. And someone stuck back in the day. They think the woman is supposed to do all this type of work. This is your job period. Why aren't you doing it? And also, when I want sex, they supposed to hit. You know? So there's not a lot of understanding and communication of how you need to compromise and get together with these things. And it's hard because where are their role models? That's what they saw from their fathers, thei

r uncles, their grandfathers. They're following that same script. You know? So the main thing we talk about with a lot of the guys I deal with is Realistic understanding of what a relationship should look like and how to control... or basically how to modify and not have controlling abusive behavior. And what does does controlling abusive behavior look like and what does healthy relationships look like? - You can tell a tree by the fruit it bears. So in our development, in our Sojourn in America

, we have been very much so dysfunctional that you know, you can see it in the statistics when you turn on television, when you listen to radio. Our state and our condition as a people is not good. And so to move forward to answer your question, what we must do, we must find a- a starting point. And so that starting point for many is erased. You know, there is no starting point. It's nothing but confusion for a lot of our people. ♪♪ [Lisa] Hello. - Hey, Lisa, it's Soph. - Hey, you back already?

Where's Kevin taking a shower? - No, Kevin went home. - What? Stop lying. - Hold on. Let me call, Stephanie. - Okay. (phone rings) - Hey, Soph. - Hey, Stephanie, it's me. - Hey, Steph, It's Lisa. - Hey, girl. Okay... I can't wait to hear this. So what happened? - I'm feeling so stupid right now. - Girl, you don't have to tell me nothing I knew something was wrong, Mr. Leg. - No, it's not him. It's me. We had a wonderful time. He remembered I liked strawberries. We went to a romantic restaurant.

We had fondue. Fon-what? - Fondue. It's where you dip fruit in chocolate and you have to kiss your partner. It's tradition. Anyway, conversation, the wine. It's a perfect night. - So what happened? - I'll tell you what happened... He didn't want the vajayjay. I told you, girl. (laugh) - You're right. I practically handed it to him on a platter. - Gay ass Mr. Leg. - You think so? - Girl, no. And Steph, weren't you the one pressing Sophie about him when you found out he was an agent? - mmh-mmh, th

at was before I found out that he was down for the other team. - If Kevin were gay, Tony would definitely know it. They used to run together back in the day. - That don't mean nothing. - That man ain't gay. - I don't get it. The chemistry is there. He's gorgeous. His eyes, his muscles. He's intelligent. I don't get it. - HIV, gay, broke... you pick it, girl. But that's a warning. Better stay away from that fool. - Be quiet, Stephanie. - Don't worry about it, Sophie. Just because you didn't take

it don't mean he don't want it. Maybe he just likes the anticipation. - I don't know. I kind of got the feeling he was in the rush to leave. Like he was brushing me off. - Girl, you are beautiful, smart and sexy. Hell, I'd date you if I wasn't married. (laugh) - And you know, B-ball is always trying to set you up. But you and this, "I don't date ballplayers" nonsense. That's keeping you out of the game. - Look, that was my night. And outside being rejected, I had a wonderful time. - Girl, you ju

st caught that man off guard. ...or maybe he's just trying to make a good impression. Sex isn't everything, Sophie. - I don't know... I kind of got the feeling something else was going on. Like maybe he's seeing someone else. - He is seeing someone. A man. (laugh) - Look, I'm home safe and sound. Me and vajayjay are going to bed. I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow. I love you both. Good night. - Good night. - Good night. - Good night. ♪ "sometime it's limited," ♪ ♪ Yeah. ♪ ♪ So don't waist i

t living someone else's life. ♪ ♪ Don't be trapped by dogma, ♪ ♪ which is living with the ♪ ♪ results of other people's thinking." ♪ - I've had female friends who have that idea of I'm an independent woman. I don't need anybody. And where that could come a lot from is fear and experience. They've experienced people they've dated who basically has let them down disappointed them or abused them. And so now they're really... really emotionally guarding themselves and protect themselves Can a woman

do everything she wants on her own? Or a man? Yeah, sure they can. But, as as something as as given when you share life with someone, you have to give up a little bit and you have to get a little bit. You know... And some people aren't ready to make that step for themselves, either maturity wise or personal, for whatever they've experienced or seen growing up. And hopefully some people will get past that, but some people will not. And I think that's a big issue for a lot of black men. Unfortunat

ely, for a lot of black men, I think this is if you want to quote the phrase, it's a player's... it's a player's field out here. You know, it's a lot of African women making bank doing well for themselves and stable and a lot of black men can float between that, you know, and some do because they can. You OK? Oh, it's OK. (kiss) It's OK. You know, and so I think independence is great. But when you get to a place where you want to share your life with someone, finding someone who respects that. A

nd the main thing I tell couples or friends of mine's is not your partner job to make you happy. Your partner job is to support you in your happiness and encourage that. If you can't make yourself happy, then you basically missing the boat, you know, because they my job to fill you up. My job is to keep you and empower you. But if I'm constantly putting you in, put in to try to fill you up, then I'm really exhausting myself. You need to do your part. ♪♪ - Hey you know boss lady will be here any

second for our meeting. Make sure your stations are clean. So we want to be here on night, please. (keyboard typing) Hey, boss. - Hey, Alicia. - Boss, I know we have a meeting today, so I went ahead and went through all the receipts for the week. You have two chairs that had a problem with rent, but I put everything on your desk. You remember I need to leave early today? - I do remember. Is everything OK? Yeah, I'm getting my own place. Me and my roommate having too many issues. - Alicia, you sh

ould have told me I'll ask my movers to do that for you. - Awww, that's so nice, boss, but I have a friend coming to pick me up. And if I goes well, I might be christening my new place tonight. - OK, well, I may have to take some lessons from you then. - Anytime, boss. - I'll go grab my books from the back and you can take off after that, ok? - Cool. - Ok. (keyboard typing) -Kevin, you're here early. - My bad. I could wait out in the car if you want me to. - No, no, no, that's not necessary my b

oss is real cool. - Alicia, I can't find my books. Has anyone been in my... - Boss, this is the friend I was telling you about, Kevin. Kevin, this is my boss, Sophie. What's going on? - Brothers, embrace change. Umm... (laugh) That's that... I... That's that's first and foremost ummm... what I've learned. I've been married now for nine years and uh... I it... it gets better. You know, the more you put into it, the more you're willing to grow uh... And the more you willing to tear down your old s

tructure. You know, that bachelor structure. I think a lot of brothers get married and still got that bachelor mindset a little bit. Still kind of wanna get out there and do what he used to do. And that's cool to a certain degree, but, you have to be willing to go into a new dimension of yourself. Become somebody totally new. And I'll say to uh... a lot of women that uh... Good men are not found ok... They're developed. - Exactly. - OK, you got you got some work to do. You know what I'm saying?

They're developed. And I live by that. I'm like, same thing with wives... Good wives are developed because if you've never been a husband, if you've never been a wife, then you have to become something that you've never been before, so it's going to take some trial and error. You know, you're going to make some mistakes. You're not going to make this person happy all the time. You're not going to say the right things all the time. But that love that you say that you have for that person, it has

to be developed like anything else in life. It has to be developed just like this film It had to be written, thought out, you know, scripted and everything. And now it is what it is today. You know, and fellas, that's how you learn to love a sister. [Interviewer] Brother... - My... mm My thing with fellas that aren't married today, and you're looking to be married, take your time. Because I didn't listen to my dad and he told me before I married my first wife, he said it's bad to be taken when t

he right person come along. -Mmmmmm... - I mean, simple as that. Simple words from - That's a, that's a repeat. Say that again. - It's bad to be taken when the right person come along. Simple as that. And don't jump into, you know, every woman ain't meant to have sex with Every woman ain't meant to bed down with, you know, cause you mess around and sleep with the wrong woman and she could have been your best friend later on in life to help you through trials and tribulations when you really need

ed a woman's opinion. And you done ruined by, you know, animal lust or just ignorance. - I think most black men could really gain from finding older men... mentors, I think, who are balanced. And what I mean by that is men themselves in healthy relationships, going to relationship like uh... Workshops or relationship uh... kind of like relationship therapy in a sense. Because the assumption is that I can be a better man and be in a good relationship and I've never done it before. But for everyth

ing we do, thank you big guy. I appreciate it. Everything we do for math, you take classes on, you study it. For engineering, you study it. For you being a business person, you either get a Bachelors or an MBA or you're Entrepreneur. You learn how to do the trade. Same thing with relationships. You need to learn how to do it and what does it look like. And if your model is what's on television as a good relationship, then you're fooling yourself, you know... A lot of men need to go through domes

tic violence training. If they... if they think they haven't been abusive, great! But, I've been in the work now 16 years of domestic violence. When I came to Atlanta, I went to a group called Men Stopping Violence to get training with them before I started becoming one of their counselors, and in six months in their program, I learned a lot of things that I was doing incorrectly and I've been doing this work, for 10 years at that time. The emotional abuse men take women through or the controlli

ng abusive behavior they have. So learning about yourself, what's controlling abusive about you and learning what a healthy relationship looks like. You know, if... if most men do that and really be studious about that part and not go to old antiquated, I'm the man's role, the female's role, I think brothers will grow immensely. You know, and unfortunately all brothers and sisters got to go through that selfish period. Hopefully, most of them are short. But... So its' a period a lot of us have t

o go through. (kiss) ♪♪ (phone ringing) - Hello. - Strawberry. - Don't call me that. I thought I told you I don't have anything to say to you. - Okay, okay, Sophie, but just listen to me. You got it all wrong. - Oh, so now I'm back to, Sophie? - But... I... I mean, you just told me not to s... - I know I just said, Kevin. - Okay, yes, you do. You don't know what you just said. But, I also know that you're mature enough to hear my side of the story. Look, if you don't believe me, then I just walk

away. - You have two minutes and make it a quick two. - Two minutes? But that's not long enough to tell you my side of the story. - Well, now you have exactly one minute and 55 seconds. - Okay, okay. I... I knew her back when I was playing ball in college. Her brother told her I'd be in town and I promised that I'd help her move. I had no intentions of having any type of relationship with her. I mean, he was there. And that's the truth. I... I promise, Strawberry. Strawberry, you're quiet. - Ke

vin, I wanted to trust you. - And you still can. - I don't know, Kevin. - Strawberry, listen to me. I would never do anything to hurt you. You what's missing in my life and I don't want to spend another moment without you. - You just saying that. You don't mean it. - I love you. - What did you just say? - Strawberry, I love you. Open the door. - Open the door? Where are you? - I'm outside your door. ♪♪ - Ladies single ladies in particular... Men, are intimidated by you. They ain't going to admit

it, that's why they're quiet. (laughter) Don't be a Christian lady. Don't be an educated lady. And you good-looking too. Don't be a lady that have what they ought to have. You say what you want to do. Many men are intimidated by women who who who are that way. The control is really yours. [Member] Exactly! You actually have the power. Because you can say yes and you can say no. But, if you mean no... Can I tell you... Can I tell you when no ain't no? Cause a brother knows. No, Brady. That don't

mean nothing. You. Boy, you know you didn't stop. No, no now quit, I said. (laughter) But, if a sister look at a brother and say, "Don't you look at me, don't you touch me, don't you say you... I..." Alright! Don't! Ooooooo... That brother alright... go... that... "Man, that girl crazy!" [crowd reacts] It's all right to be that... Than be what you;re gonna be with this nooooo. (laughter) [Poet] Trapped in a whirlwind of emotions, I find myself waiting on the very edge of your ocean. Captivated

by your waves of security. Swept away by your tide. I tried to hide behind logic's door of fear, but time eventually found to me there. I was crouching. Tiger, hidden dragon, you coerced me into your lair as like and love played tug of war in my mind, I find myself trapped in a whirlwind. We pretend to control our destinies. We pretend to control the keys to our hearts' doors, but somewhere between loving and hurting, fate has changed the locks. Holding signs in our soul's windows that read, "We

are now accepting friends." I am trapped in a whirlwind. These feelings I can't contain. My heart reversed the words in my sentences, so logic has diagnosed me as insane. Insane as me, diagnosed, has logic, so sentences my, in words, the reversed heart, my... my... my mouth is afraid to articulate love. So I'll say I'm in like with you. Because in my reality, love is dictated by time, and the clock on my wall indicates time has resigned. It's reduced itself to nothing. So, if this thing that's

between you and I isn't love, it has to be more than like, right? I continue to fight. At war with myself, I want to place these feelings I have for you on my heart's shelf, but my heart won't let me. I'm swimming in your sea, mesmerized by your exponential degree of divinity, witnessing your epiphany inside your whirlwind. I am dancing with like. I am falling into love. I am living you, breathing breathing you inside your whirlwind. I am tumbling... tumbling... tumbling around the thought of lo

ving you. Trapped. [Poet] The title of this piece is called Beautiful Black Sister Regal is the color of her skin, coated in a darker shade of history while royalty accents her essence, her presence, displays vivid images of a misplaced lineage. And though society constantly tells her that she's the latter of all subject matter, baby, I beg to differ. So let me lift you. Light skin, dark skin, brown skin, sisters we, the brothers love ya, since world hadn't told ya, because deep inside of your d

ark hue, you carry the secrets of past, present, and future events, bruised but not broken, life often imitates you because everything about you says beautiful. So sisters, I feel you every time you release your tears. I realize that they are just liquid prayers that have not been answered in a world that doesn't care to acknowledge your pain. Since the beginning of time, no other woman has ever gave birth to life like you or walked this earth just like you because you are beautiful infinity, ou

tlined in a sexy space-time continuum. So that makes you light years ahead of all other women that wish that they had your style, your sex appeal, your commanding presence because believe it or not, whenever you walk into a room, all you can hear is silent stares from men saying, "Damn!" [Interviewee] Damn! - So walk that walk, Mommy. Talk that talk, Mommy. And with every word and every step, baby girl, you keep rewriting history because you are the most beautiful love song and poem that no man

can ever describe. You are the inspiration behind every Stevie Wonder lyric, baby, and I feel you in the brothers. We love you. Beautiful black sisters. Peace. - You know, it's really all about how do we help one another be successful as spouses? And that's what I talk about. I talk about marriage. Because really, we don't need so much help on how to be a boyfriend, how to be a girlfriend. We've kind of got that down to a science. But what does it take to be a wife? What does it really take to b

e a husband? To very, very, very distinct roles and roles in which we have not been very successful. Our divorce rates are really high. Our marriage rates are really low. - It was this guy, it was a lifeguard. He had a nice, I guess you could say he had a nice body, whatever... I wasn't paying no attention to that. Be at he... No, it wasn't. He had... - That was for the camera. - No, honestly, God, I was not. I am not a physical person when it come to men. I just, back then, I was extremely imma

ture. I was extremely immature. And I thought, you know, the way to get a can tell if a man love you is if he's jealous. So the guy walked past me and I turned my hand and looked. And I knew Gerald was looking. - Purposely. - And I saw his reaction. I was like, okay, mission accomplished. - Ooooh! - Ooooh! - I feel bad about it now. It's not funny, but he said at that moment, he knew he loved me because he got that sick feeling in his stomach. Am I right? - That was absolutely right. It sure was

. I thought I was like, yeah, I just thought, wow. Because as heated as you would get with me, if you thought I looked at somebody... - And he still do, he be looking. Don't let him fool you. - In any case, but I'm glad I still get butterflies from my wife. - Oh, that's so cool. See, he cleaned it up real good Now how can I be mad about that? - Learn, brothers, learn. [laugh] [Interviewee] No, I get moths. - You get moths for me? - I get moths. You get moths. Ain't no more butterflies. It's moth

s now. - He got a cocoon in his stomach. - I still find you is sexy. That's it. Oh, my God! - Look here, I find you sexy. Yeah. Look here.. - That's funny, Daddy. I find you sexy. Ain't no butterflies. I'm telling you, ain't no butterflies no more it's moths. - Well, I'll be darned! - I'm sorry, momma, I'm sorry. You okay? - You know how much I love you. We are not... We are not their age anymore. Look here. - We don't have to be there, age, for you to continue to woo me. You wooed me to get me.

- I'll continuing to woo you, but I'm telling ya... [Interviewee] Whatever you did to get her, you got to do to keep her. - That's exactly right. - A lot of men can fight [Interviewee] A lot of men and women. [Interviewer] Its' cheaper to keep her. -Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh yeah, buddy. - Either way... I still find this man sexy as the devil. I look at him when he don't know I'm looking. - I look at him when you know I'm looking. - For real? - Of course, I do. - Sometimes when you're looking, I p

ut the most switch into it. - Momma, you do that for real? - I will if you tell me what you look like. What kind of look is it? [Interviewer] What's the look? - When I look at Kenneth? - Yeah. - Ohhhhh (laughing) And then I... Oh, I remember... Over the river and through the woods behind the trees up under the stairs. - Don't tired yourself out now. Don't tired yourself out. - Yes, I do remember. And the longer a relationship is, that's what you find yourself doing. All things won't be the same.

But that's what you find yourself doing. That's what keeps you together. Remembering the good times, you know? Of course the devil is busy and he's gonna always try. But long... like my daughter says, as long as you know that's what it is, as long as you know that's that devil, - Keep that strong bond. - then you'll be all right. - For women, we are affirmed generally on our jobs. Our jobs give us a sense of who we are, a sense of accomplishment, a sense of feeling like, wow, I'm really somebod

y. I'm really I really can do this. And in fact, people gravitate toward (clapping) the applause in life. So wherever the applause is, and this is for men and women, that is where people are going to gravitate. So typically the applause comes from our job. We get applause every two weeks when we get paid. We get applause when we get a bonus. We get applause when somebody says you did a great job on that project. And so as a woman in the work world, we learn a variety of skills and we bring a set

of skills to our jobs. We learn how to administrate. We learn how to manage. We learn how to coordinate. We learn how to take charge. We learn how to get it done. We learn how to make it happen. Unfortunately, when we get married and when we're in a relationship, we sometimes try to bring those same skills to our husband and to our home. But, sisters, let me tell you, black man does not want to be administrated, managed, coordinated, or taken charge of by us. Not happening. No. There is another

skill set that is needed in order to be a successful wife. We have to learn how to let our men be the head of the house. How do we do that? It's definitely not by telling them what to do. It's all in how we do things. And so one of the things that we want to be able to understand in this film is that men are so very important to women feeling very good about themselves. So here's tip number one for the brothers out there watching the film. Compliment your wife in public. Let people know that yo

u have a public display of commitment to her. You think she is the bomb and you are not afraid to let her know in private, but more importantly, you let people know in public, you compliment her in front of her friends. See, there's one thing about a public display of affection. That's all right. But the public display of commitment, where you are willing to say in front of whoever that your wife is like the greatest wife in the world, she broke the mold, she is the best wife, that says a whole

lot. And it goes a long way. That is very, very, very important. [Interviewer] Let's let's talk to the parents. -Uh-oh - Hello. -Oh Lord! [Interviewer] How do you feel about son-in-law and... and from my understanding, you are expecting, now right? - Yes. - Yes. - Due November 24, 2013. We don't know what it is yet, but... - The Sunday before Thanksgiving. A very wonderful Thanksgiving this is going to be. [Interviewer] Okay. Just wishing for a happy, healthy baby. Oh, uh, I don't know. Anybody

that knows me can tell you how elated. I've been waiting for a grandbaby ever since I had my daughter, I believe. In fact, I believe more than 15 years ago, honey, was it 15 years ago? Why are you working your mouth and going out like that? I ain't saying nothing yet. He ask me a question. - He know it's coming. - Wait a minute. - You said you've been waiting for a grandbaby ever since... - Yes! - our daughter was born? - A mother can say that you have to be a mother to understand where I'm comi

ng from. This is what I mean by that. -So you can'y be a father to know where you're coming from? - I don't know what you were looking for, honey. - What? - Anyway, you look up and you have a daughter, and you wish the best for her, wish the best is in Gerald Kenneth Jones. So I'm very grateful for my son-in-law and just elated that we're gonna have this grandbaby and back to what I was saying. When you have a daughter, you... you... you live... you live in your dream about your daughter growing

up and marrying and having a baby. I mean, with me, she could've had the baby before she got married, and I would have loved it just as much. But the fact that I'm saying is, I have one present for my grandbaby that I know I've had over 15 years. At least 15 years. I used to be in the habit of buying grandbaby clothes, but this particular time I ordered a grandbaby rocking chair. It's purple, and it says "Grandbaby Jerome," and he wouldn't put it together for me at the time. [Interviewee] Liste

n. [Interviewee] It's still not together. - No. - Listen, reason why I didn’t put it together because we didn't have a grandbaby. Not because I couldn't... - So I do have my first... My first grandbaby present. Anyway. - You just gone bring it to your home talking bout put this together for our grandbaby. Where's the grandbaby? [Interviewee] The cats and the dog. - Anyway. (laughter) - One times one always equals one. So it's one spouse multiplying the efforts of the other spouse. So the husband

multiplies the efforts of the wife, and the wife multiplies the efforts of the husband, and they become one in the process. So how do you multiply your spouse's efforts? Let's say, for example, the husband is looking around, and he sees his wife, and she is really working very hard to provide a good home environment for him and for the family. So he says, "Hmm, I'm going to buy my wife a Roomba." And a Roomba is that little vacuum cleaner that operates on its own. And so the Roomba does the wor

k, and so now he has multiplied his wife's efforts so that now she's not the one pushing the vacuum cleaner. She can go off and do something else. So he has now multiplied her efforts, and the Roomba is vacuuming the floor. So now the wife is thinking, "How can I" multiply my husband's efforts? My man needs a better job. Let me redo his resume. I'm not even going to tell him. I'm going to redo his resume, and I'm going to find some other jobs because my husband is brilliant. He is a scholar. He

is just so smart, and he is so knowledgeable, and really what he's doing is not making good use of his skill and talent. He really needs to be "doing something else." So she redoes his resume. She sends it out, and he gets these calls. "Yes, I'm interested in a better job. Really? You want me to come for an interview? Wow." So she has multiplied his efforts, and so that is how couples can begin to work together. So every day, every week, you're asking yourself, "What can I do to multiply my spou

se's efforts? What can I do to help my spouse be better?" And in doing this, the two begin to work together to become one, and that is what is really necessary in a marriage. You're not trying to just be two individuals working together and living in the same household. That's called roommates. No. The two of you are trying to work together to become husband and wife, to become one and create a union that is exalted and glorifies the higher creator, the God, Allah, whoever you believe in. It glo

rifies his majesty because we are creating families. We're creating children that become productive citizens and that become a reflection of God and Allah's mercy. So the two shall become one, one spouse, multiplying the efforts of the other. Works every time. - One of the things, in that I highly stress to have anyone who's suggesting to get married, who has an inkling, before you jump before you jump that broom, counseling, prior to. You know, um... by us, what we had done is we had went throu

gh counseling during the whole courtship phase before we got married. We went through counseling every week, you know... Um... And because of that, a lot of things were brought to light about myself that I didn't know that could have caused a problem later on. And likewise, there's things about her that came to light that she wasn't aware of that would have caused problems. You know, so we were able to avoid those potholes, you know, some of those potholes that other people went, you know, fell

victim to, you know. So that helped a lot. - Create an environment of appreciation. Let her know in the home, that your home is a place where she is totally, totally appreciated. You appreciate the little that she does to the big that she does. As I said earlier, people gravitate toward the applause in life. Be the applause in her life. Be her cheerleader. Be the president of her fan club. Let people know, especially let her know that you appreciate what she does to go out of her way as your wif

e, as your help meet, as your friend, as your lover, as your partner, all of that. That you appreciate all of what she does. All of this seeks to engender an overwhelming volcanic rush of love and affection for you, which is what I'm sure every man wants from his wife. That is what it takes to get it. - We run into everyday problems, you know, marriage, you know. We first got married, you know. Um... We popped out a kid, you know, nine months later. And um... that's what, well, yeah, when we fir

st got married, we basically got pregnant right away. - Yeah, but it wasn't nine months though. - Well, we basically got pregnant right away and had a baby. So that's kind of hard, you know, having a, you know, newborn, you're newly married and everything. You know, um... things change. -Mmm-huh - So communication is definitely, you know, a big key in survival in our marriage. We need to communicate. It's like, you know, um... when I expect him, if I'm not, you know, um... I'm not doing what I u

sed to do or pleasing him like I used to, you know, he comes to me, "Babe", "you know, um... open it up." right. - You're slipping and trust me, she does the same, you know. My game's slipping, you slipping, you know. You got... you got to talk. - And I stay reminded of that commitment that we made on that date, you know. Basically, you know, I told him, you know, in counseling, I said, you know, I was in it for the long haul. - Women need to know that they are pleasing to their husbands, you kn

ow. So it doesn't help for a man to complain every day without having some kind of solution. You know, men really should be the receivers and the receptors of complaints, not the other way around. When men are the distributors of complaints. It should really be that men are the receptors so that women can feel like if they have an issue, a concern or a problem, they can go to their husband and say, "Honey, look, this is what's going on. This is what's happening in my life. I need your help." And

not that she's gonna constantly get a barrage of complaints from her husband. "You didn't do this, you didn't do that, "you didn't do this." Oh my God, it just really becomes very difficult to bear. [Interviewer] How do you guys get through the conflict though when it's not working? I know you said you're the more patient one, but when it's not working, what do you do? - See, I like to talk things out. Kenneth, is not really a talker. - I don't really get a chance to say nothing. Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. - Anyway, I like to express my feelings. - See, it's showing right now. He keep trying to talk but she talking - When you're in a relationship this long, you try writing it down. Being a woman, you try everything. I'm not saying sometimes it's the man that may be going through the trials and the trouble, you know, in a relationship. Feeling like they want to get out. - That's majority of the time. That's majority of the time. - I tried to write it down. See, I can'

t... But I tr... Can I just say that? - Man, I'm telling you, you don't give us enough credit. - I said, and I'll say exactly how I'm feeling. And a lot of times people say, "Well, you just don't say everything." Not that you say everything that comes to your mind at all the time. All the time. You not say everything. But when I feel like I need to express myself, I always tell them, "I'm going down saying what's on my mind." When you look... because I always tell them, "God and I have made this

pact." I'm going to die first. That's just me and God have made this pact. So when you walk up to that casket and you look down on me, you're going to miss my mouth because you're going to miss the one... ...that always told you everything that they feel. The areas that they need the love in. The areas that this is not working in. You need to uh... jump start this part, honey. You done let this part kinda get slack. You know... Communication is everything. And if you have to be the only one com

municating, then you just do. - Communicating is everything, but... And sometimes you can't communicate. It ain't but one person talking. And the other person ain't doing nothing but standing there "But... but... but... "but... but... but... but K-Francis but... but... uh... [laughing] K-Francis K-Francis But... K-Francis. But... - But see, if I don't say it, I'll forget. If I don't say it, I'll forget. - Write it down then you can say it later. - Before I see you, I will have gone over it in my

mind. So when I see you, I need to jump you when you come through the door. Jump when I come through the door? - Yeah. - What causes couples to get divorced is really not the infidelity, not the mismanagement of money. That is not what happens. It's their inability to manage the conflict. So what separates couples that stay together from couples that get divorced are really not the problems. Because for every couple that has gotten divorced because of infidelity, there's another couple that has

stayed together. For every couple that divorces because of management... money management issues, there's another couple that has stayed together. So how is it that couples can learn to manage the conflict that happens in every marriage, in every relationship, whether it is friend, family, or foe, conflict is going to happen. - If you are arguing with your best friend, who am I going to talk to if I'm mad at him? That's the worst feeling in the world because I want to vent and I can't even talk

to my best friend who also happens to be my husband. So that's kind of like a fine line to walk. But I've learned he may agree or disagree with me. Sometimes, I do have to say I'm sorry first or sometimes I do have to make the approach to make things okay, even if I don't feel like it, even if I feel like I was right. If there is no right or wrong, either you're either going to be married or you're not. - Submission. - And the moment that you allow yourself to cut off that communication, that's

when the enemy go bring something or someone in that mix to totally dismantle that whole relationship. So you just got to be better than that. - And you must admit I've gotten better. I can rant and rave. God knows I can rant and rave because I have my point to prove. A lot of times I just be quiet. What's so funny? (laughter) - You really crack me up. - Sometimes when you're mad at me, I know to give you three days and get over whatever. [Interviewer] Three days? Three days. I better not say n

othing to her. I said three days... I just let her go on rant and rave... Raise all the... Hell That she does. And I like I said I just keep my mouth shut. After three days... And when I see her bring back the groceries. (laughter) - What do you mean bring in some groceries? Bring it back. (laughter) Baby, girl. You know when your momma got so mad, she took the food out the house. - I remember My momma used to throw my daddies clothes out in the yard. I used to be so embarrassed. - She was takin

g all the food back. - I used to say, why are you going to throw his clothes out of the house if you just go bring them back in? - Now wait a minute... Y'all talking about marriage here. - Y'all was married. - Were we? - That was embarrassing. - We've been married 27 years. - That was embarrassing. - Lord, have mercy. This woman has taken all the food. I can't even make a sandwich. (laughter) - Anyway. - Each family can come up with their own set of rules of engagement. How are we going to confl

ict? Am I just going to cuss you out every time? Are you going to call me all kinds of names? Are you going to talk about my momma every time we have a conflict? No. But that does happen in the absence of rules of engagement. So sit down together and say, this is how I think we should be able to conflict. This is how I think we should be able to have you know arguments or whatever you want to call them. Because, In the absence of any kind of structure and guidelines, everything goes. One thing,

stop the cussing. Just eliminate cussing from the situation because... The only thing a person hears you even try to make your point with cuss words. People don't hear your point. All they hear is a hurtful sounds. And that's another thing. Eliminate the hurtful words. They're only seeking to hurt. They're not impressing your... They're not moving your point. They're not letting people know exactly what you want to do. So... when you're in your rules of conflict, advance your point. That's one o

f the things you want to do. Whatever your point is, advance your point. Build your relationship. We're not about tearing each other down. And a lot of times in our conflict and our conversations, our tongue becomes a weapon. And we are slaying one another right and left with our tongue. Advance your point. Build your relationship. Have rules of engagement. So maybe your rule of engagement says if it didn't happen in the past 90 days, don't bring it up. Cause sometimes when we're in it, we feel

like we are losing the battle, we dig way back to two or three years ago. If something had happened, say, "Well, yeah, because I remember so-and-so, and you didn't do so-and-so." It's like, "Where did this come from?" And that's another point. Don't try to win, because if someone is trying to win, the marriage loses. So if I'm in an argument or discussion with my husband and I'm trying to win this battle, then our marriage is losing because I'm trying to win. And is it better to be right than to

be in a relationship? No. Because whatever you're doing, you always want the marriage to win. The marriage has to win. And another thing to consider in your rules of engagement, sometimes it's good to apologize, even when you're right, because what you want, you want the peace and harmony of your family. So what difference does it make if you are apologizing, even though you know you are right? Because then you throw your spouse off guard. What? Because when they start to really think about it

after you have apologized, even though you know you're right, and you have apologized, they will begin to think about the situation and realize that they were really wrong. And they will come back to you and say, "You know what? I know you apologized, but really, I'm the one that was wrong in this situation. And so, thanks for doing that, but I need to apologize because I "was the one that was wrong." Advance your point. Build your relationship. Have rules of engagement and sometimes apologize e

ven when you're right. It goes a long way. ♪ ♪ (kissing) ♪ Upbeat Music ♪ ♪ Oooooooo ♪ ♪ Oooooooo ♪ ♪ Oooooooo ♪ ♪ Oooooooo ♪ ♪ Oo-oooooo ♪ ♪ Sometimes I just wanna cry. ♪ ♪ Walking around, ♪ ♪ feeling down, ♪ ♪ keeping things bottled up inside. ♪ ♪ Please help me understand, ♪ ♪ why we're trying, try so hard ♪ ♪ and still it seems we can't get ahead. ♪ ♪ We need another plan. ♪ ♪ All I know is ♪ ♪ something's gotta change. ♪ ♪ When things come tumbling down, ♪ ♪ things come tumbling down, ♪ ♪ w

hat you gonna do? ♪ ♪ Woo-ooooo ♪ ♪ What you gonna do? ♪ ♪ Are you gone run? ♪ ♪ Run? ♪ ♪ Hide? ♪ ♪ Hide? ♪ ♪ Ignore the voice inside? ♪ ♪ Oo-oooooooo ♪ ♪ Put a lil faith in your life. ♪ ♪ Ooooooooooooooo ♪ ♪ Like Donnie said, ♪ ♪ "Where is the love?" ♪ ♪ Did it up and fly away, ♪ ♪ with the dreams of yesterday? ♪ ♪ Even the birds don't ♪ ♪ sing like they used to... ♪ ♪ Nothing but sad melodies, ♪ ♪ and broken tunes. ♪ ♪ I am not my circumstance. ♪ ♪ And I will not leave my ♪ ♪ happiness up to c

hance, ♪ ♪ cause it's all up to me, ♪ ♪ that's what I believe, ♪ ♪ that's what I believe. ♪ ♪ When things come tumbling down, ♪ ♪ things come tumbling down, ♪ ♪ what you gonna do? ♪ ♪ What you gonna do? ♪ ♪ What you gonna do? ♪ ♪ Are you gone run? ♪ ♪ Run? ♪ ♪ Hide? ♪ ♪ Hide? ♪ ♪ Ignore the voice inside? ♪ ♪ Put a lil faith in your life. ♪ ♪ Ooooooooooo ♪ ♪ When things go down ♪ ♪ the way you want them to, ♪ ♪ what you gonna do? ♪ ♪ What you gonna do? ♪ ♪ What you gonna do? ♪ ♪ Woo-hooooo ♪ ♪ Ru

n? ♪ ♪ Hide? ♪ ♪ Woooooo-ooooooooooo ♪ ♪ Put a lil faith in your life. ♪ ♪ Woooooo-ooooooooooo ♪ ♪ A wise man once said, ♪ ♪ said... ♪ ♪ "sometime it's limited, ♪ ♪ Yeah ♪ ♪ So don't waist it living someone else's life. ♪ ♪ Don't be trapped by dogma... ♪