How to support positive peer relationships among young people in online spaces

[Music] welcome everyone to today's webinar on how to support positive peer relationships among young people in online spaces my name is Mandy trong and I'm a member of the child and family evidence team here at the Australian Institute of family studies I would like to start by acknowledging the wry Wang and buang peoples of the Kola Nation who are the traditional owners of the lands in N Melbourne where I'm speaking to you from I also pay my respects to the traditional owners of country throug

hout Australia and recognize their continuing connection to lands and Waters we also pay our respects to abinal and tourist R Islander cultures and Elders past and present I also wish to acknowledge all Aboriginal and tarist Islander people tuning in before our discussion I'll just do a little bit of housekeeping there will be a live Q&A towards the end of this webinar so feel free to submit your questions in the goto webinar dashboard the webinar will be recorded and will be available about two

to three weeks after today and if you wish to be notified of when this is available please subscribe to our A's newsletter or keep an eye out on our A's webinar page there is a handout section on goto webinar in the control panel which has a list of related readings and resources and also there'll be a short feedback survey which will open up at the end of the webinar and if you have a few M moments we'd love it if you could fill that out well today's topic is about supporting positive peer rel

ationships among young people in online spaces we're focusing on the middle years of adolescence 18 to 14 years of age in particular when young people begin to start spending more time with their friends and less time with their parents and this also includes spending more time interacting with their peers online there are concerns among some parents and some people who work with young people that online experiences have negative impacts on young people's mental well-being and relationships howe

ver young people are undeniably growing up in a digital age and being online is a part of life research shows that there's a strong association between peer relationships and mental health in the middle years that is positive peer relationships are linked to positive mental health therefore people who work with young people and parents and carers have a really important role to play in encouraging and supporting positive peer relationships which then will also promote positive mental health and

well-being we recognize this is a pretty big topic um however the webinar will not go into depth on issues related to cyber bullying or harassment however our handout includes places where he can go for more information on these topics Adam me so we are really lucky to be joined by three panelists today to help us understand this topic in more depth their full bios can be found in the handout section of the go-to webinar dashboard but I'd like to welcome Dr Riley Scott Casey Thor and H da Dr Ril

ey Scott is a lecturer in the School of Psychology and well-being at the University of Southern Queensland working in areas of social cyber and developmental psychology her research focuses on understanding risks and protective factors for youth well-being and development in the digital age Casey Thorp is the service coordinator for anglicare southern queensland's family mental health support service and is dedicated to providing care and guidance to empower young people facing mental health cha

llenges and last but not least we are joined by h d a year eight student who is here today to provide a young person's perspective on this topic thank you so much for being part of this panel all right let's get into the first question for today let's discuss what we mean by online peer relationships given our diverse audience and our diverse backgrounds how might they be different from offline peer relationships and how might they be the same let's start with you Quay what are your thoughts um

I think that online peer relationships are like relatively similar to offline peer relationships and in respect that you are talking usually to like a real physical person and they need to use similar etiquette that you do in online offline interactions like kindness and respect and I think that this they're pretty much the same but in a different format say on social media through comment sections or DMS but it's like talk it's basically it is talking to a real person and but being online is al

so very different in the way that you can really pick and choose who you want to interact with um this could be people that Shar the same interests as you people that you don't really talk to in real life or people that you just think are interesting and this could be because you don't like talking to people in real life or because you prefer talking to people online yeah great can you provide an example where you've interacted with people online that you might not have met in real life I have a

really close friend that um I started talking to through Tik Tok and she is now a real life rent in my school and I don't think I would have talked to her otherwise if I hadn't like commented on her Tik Tok or DM t or send her videos so I think it's really helpful for expanding your friendships fantastic thank you for that Casey I'm Kean to hear your thoughts do you think practitioners and others who work with young people quite understand what online relationships look like and how important t

hey are to young people perhaps there might be a gap in practitioners knowledge about peer relationships in online spaces compared to offline thanks Mandy um that's a great question and first I'd just like to acknowledge we for her bravery for being here I think that's really amazing and um we should all be really grateful for her sharing her experiences um online with us today um and I think I guess what we saying around young people um having online friendships um definitely what she's describ

ing is what we're seeing um in practice so you know these relationships could be um sort of an extension of peer relationships at school um or we do see people making new friendships online um I think that has really increased over time and definitely within that age group um of the eight to 14 year olds we definitely see that um so I guess yeah a point that I'd make is um we know that you know these online spaces are changing really quickly and um can sometimes feel really really daunting for p

ractitioners and families to keep up with so I think what's really important for um practitioners to to remember I guess that we've all grown up in different Generations um definitely parents and and practitioners grew up in different generations and Technology wasn't as available um so it can be hard for them to grasp how young people connecting in this way um can be beneficial especially because there's so many stories out there that really speak to that worst case scenario um so it does creat

e I guess an overall negative outlook on the online World um but I think in saying that what we do need to remember that that with young people um because they're becoming so used to connecting in this way um it's important for practitioners to understand that you know it's going to happen um and it's happening more and more that does you know that we need to help our young people to really develop good interpersonal skills and boundaries um and to build that social resilience not only uh face T

oof face with their peers but also in that online space and I loved um ways description around remembering you know that there's etiquette and to be kind and respectful um but I'd also you know say that maybe what practitioners need to know is that those relationships are also um equally valid for young people whether they happen online or face to face I think that's a really important thing to remember too thanks Casey that yeah that's a really important Point understanding that different Gener

ations have grown up in a different way and to try and really understand how young people are experiencing their experiencing their friendships and peer interactions whether online or offline thank you for that Riley um bringing you into the discussion now how do you think research at the moment considers online relationships versus offline ones be great to hear your point of view yeah absolutely thank you Mandy um I'm probably going to touch on a few things that Haw and Casey have already talke

d about because the way that we think about online relationships in research and and to give you a little bit of context a lot of my research so far in my career has been specifically focused on how we develop and maintain our friendships in face tof face and online context so um the way that we see this happening in the research is in three key ways really so the first way that we think about online relationships and interactions is where we actually developed or initiated our interactions with

other people so like wh said some of our relationships are initiated in face-to-face settings and then we interact with those friends online or offline some of our relationships especially among young people and and like Casey said we've seen this happening more in recent years is that the relationships are exclusively online so what that means for the way that we approach these in research is that we really need to consider who young people are interacting with and what we know from research i

s that for most young people most of the time they're interacting with friends that they have met through school or in some other face-to-face setting so there is a lot of concern and I would as well like to reflect what Casey said in terms of how daunting it can be how unknown the online environment or the internet and social media can seem and I imagine you know we have Educators parents practitioners joining us today in the audience some people will be quite unsure about and concerned about o

nline interactions and from a research perspective I would just like to highlight that you know the online space is typically seen as just another social context that we can really meet our social needs through so another thing that we consider in terms of research and how we understand online interactions is like what H and casy have already said we look at the emotional Intimacy in the relationships the amount of social support or the perceived quality of the relationships that we have the fre

quency of interacting with friends online and face Toof face and we know that online contexts are so accessible and there's a lot of convenience in terms of interacting with friends there so a lot of the time we are looking for those kind of key qualities of relationships that we have with other people the last way that we really think about online interactions is really to do with what the online environment has to offer as well so because some of the reasons that the online environment does se

em a bit daunting and uncertain is because it is is actually quite a unique social setting so there are specific features and affordances of the online environment that we just don't get when we interact with people face to face so I'm talking about things like reduced non-verbal cues where if we're interacting purely over text we can't read Turner voice it's a lot harder to imagine what somebody's body language or responses are to our messages that creates quite a distinct social environment an

other example of one of the features is that even if we're interacting in what's called instant messaging a lot of the time our interact aren't actually happening in real time so that gives people a sense of control over their interactions where they can spend a bit more time revising or crafting their responses and really thinking about their self-presentation online so those you know features and affordances of the online context really do have important implications for how our interactions o

nline play out differently to how they happen in face-to-face settings as well so those are the three kind of main things that I would um say that the research focuses on in this space great thank you that's a really thorough overview of a quite a um in-depth space and I I I guess sometimes research can kind of Might struggle a little bit to keep up with all the changes in technology and so forth so that was yeah really fantastic yeah I've definitely been in a situation where I've DMD or instant

messaged someone and maybe the tone is can be quite tricky to interpret I'm sure a lot of us have been in that situation and I really like the point you made about thinking about quality of relationships as well well so I'm really Keen to understand a bit more about from where in particular what do you think a a healthy online peer relationship looks like and and what have you experienced navigating kind of that that space making sure things are healthy for you oh I think you're on mute sorry o

h my gosh sorry that's okay I think it's a lot about setting boundaries so everybody feels comfortable um in the online relationship and I think it's also about making sure we are like giving each other space and being understanding of each other and it's yeah something like that great Casey do you have any um to add to that have you observed any particular things around the people you and your team work with around an online healthy peer relationship uh um yeah I'd say you know what we want to

be looking for is that that peer relationship is enriching our young person's life so um it's definitely going to look like um a supportive relationship that's safe um that The Young Person's mental health is you know supported and their overall well-being is better because of that relationship um so I think be looking out and practitioners would be looking out for that um yeah and I think it's just about making sure that that young person does feel that sense of belonging and connectedness in t

hat online World thanks Casey any further thoughts Riley about online relationships I think yeah exactly like Casey and H have already said to characterize a healthy online peer relationship for us in the research space it's really about what characterizes a healthy offline peer relationship as well so um one point that I would kind of like to reflect is that for young people in particular but also for many people our online interactions now are still considered part of our real life so we are l

ooking for respectful relationships uh relationships that have a a positive level of emotional intimacy social support shared interests and things like that um really making sure like Casey said Casey said sorry that the interactions are and the relationships are adding value to Young people's lives and you know much like we would consider the same to be healthy off offline I think we need to think about that online as well that's fantastic yeah I think that's really important to to understand t

hose fundamentals whether it's online or offline so really appreciate those insights so now onto the the next question and you know we kind of established it a bit earlier on that is really common for young people to be on online so I'm really keing to kind of understand a bit more what the benefits of online peer relation relationships are for young people and how does that maybe impact or connect with their mental health and wellbeing I'll start with you that's okay um I think it's very import

ant if like yeah it's quite important for young people to be online because um as adult I think you probably have seen firsthand how quickly uh like slang and Trends and stuff move and I think it's important for young people to be able to catch up with all of that and be connected to it so that they can understand what people are saying in real life because um things that happen online can translate into real life and most of our like kind of language is created and spreaded online and it just r

eally helps you connect to as many people as you possibly can y so that kind of people are less likely to feel left out if they're kind of keeping up with all the things that are changing in their lives of their friends and peers is that what you mean yeah and it's um easier to make friends and easier to relate to people and it's just yeah it's very beneficial for people's mental health because they feel included like they might belong somewhere and yeah it's really beneficial for young people g

reat thank you H um pass over to you Casey do you have any other thoughts on what you've seen um from a practitioner point of view about the benefits of online relationships for young people sure I loved um the way that we explained them speaking a different language CU definitely um that's what we see from a generational perspective um I think a point that I'd make here um to just first all there is some social expectations at play here um and we kind of touched on that a bit that you know that

there is that language and there is that expectation that others will other young people will keep up with that um and I think a point I'd make there is that it it can be quite isolating for a young person who isn't connected in that online space um so they may feel that they they're not fitting in with their peers um so that's just something to consider I think for practitioners to think about um there and I think you know because of that social expectation is actually quite normal for young p

eople to want to connect in this way um and get that sense of of connection and belonging with their peers online so um yeah I think they I think that definitely what we're seeing is young people who you know may have dis engage for mainstream schooling or um may have some neurodiversity Who U find you know that it's a great way to stay connected with their peers who they may not um see every day anymore and also um you know for those those children or young people with neurodiversity it's a goo

d way to communicate because it kind of eliminates some of those social um socially anxious situations um so in our work in we definitely see the benefits for young people when they they have those healthy interpersonal boundaries and they understand of what's okay and what's not okay in a relationship so I think you know what we see is when parents and um have those conversations with their young people about sort of developing those relationship skills um and yeah that's that's always a good p

rotective Factor um but what we see really with the when that relationship is really positive um and there there is all of those things that we talked about previously around the the safety and respect um there there are positive mental health outcomes just like with any uh relationship so it's it's not overly different it's a different uh platform but it does also afford the same opportunities to to sort of have those benefits um so yeah what just think would be really important for practitione

rs and parents to know is that there is potential for that relationship to be be positive and that it could create you know more connectedness for for them and then therefore positive mental health outcomes that's great Casey um just makes me think about my own situation with I've got two kids in this age group as well coincidentally and yeah I feel like it's a balance and it's really important to keep in mind these benefits rather than just perhaps focus on the negatives or being you know worri

ed and concerned but yeah really kind of remembering that um these relationships have you know a lot of benefits for people to interact um being included and um having positive wellbeing impacts as well so really appreciate your Insight is that kind of backed up by the research rally of what you're aware of you know these kind of links between mental well-being and online interactions amongst this age group and you know slightly older adolescence as well yeah absolutely um what we really see in

the research is that when young people engage intentionally on social media and on the internet with the purpose of you know maintaining and supporting their relationships there are a whole host of positive benefits for them in terms of their mental health and well-being so one of the key things that I do encourage people to keep in mind when engaging with social media is really thinking about actively using it for your relationships social media are fundamentally social if you use the the tools

and the opportunities online to connect there are real benefits for that and we do see that playing out for young people young people outside of school obviously are actually now more likely to interact with their friends online on a day-to-day basis than they are face to-face so this is not something that will go away um often I think when people think of safe or healthy internet and social media use they kind of think of less use but there is a lot more to it than that because young people an

d I mean as adults as well we're not just going to stop going online now so like Casey reflected just before in my research as well I've seen young people describing the internet and social media as a really convenient and easy way to maintain relationships if they've moved schools if they've moved into state or in situations when it's just a bit harder to see people face to face I I don't want to bring up the pandemic but that was a fantastic example in the last few years of how we all collecti

vely really started to understand the potential value of online interactions for relationship maintenance so young people are really actively involved in that space and I think it's very important to really understand and reflect that as well um a couple of other things that I would just like to touch on in terms of benefits I think Casey already mentioned a little bit about some social vulnerabilities and things like social anxiety we do see some real benefits for young people who are vulnerabl

e in terms of things like experiencing social anxiety or even loneliness when they interact online for their friendships they can you know feel more connected practice those social skills and interactions and then feel a sense of confidence moving off into face-to-face interactions as well for young people who experience social or developmental vulnerabilities it is really important for them to find people with shared experiences common interests and to like I said to practice social skills so a

ll of those things can be really beneficial for a sense of belonging and connectedness and one of the last points I just wanted to make in terms of what the research shows is as we know teenagers and young people they're really grappling with identity development so young people are asking all of those questions of who am I and how do I fit into the world and what can I contribute to other people and like I said earlier the online environment is really a space that offers a lot of opportunities

to explore those questions so having a a solid sense of self through adolescence really sets us up into adulthood to be functioning well adjusted adults with positive mental health and well-being and using the online space to kind of try on a few different senses of selves or to test out what feels like a good fit for young people can also really be beneficial so there are yeah a lot of benefits in the space that I think can be quickly overlooked when we think about the negatives but there are b

enefits and risks and it's about supporting young people in the yeah in achieving those fantastic that's really positive and good to know that these experiences are backed up by by the research actually wouldn't mind coming back to H just quickly because Ry you mentioned the pandemic way um with the pandemic how did you experience navigating the online online space and did you find any benefits from that as well I remember being Limited in my online use like being on social media like obviously

I had to be online because of school and school works and stuff but being on social media I was kind of limited and I remember we added each other to Google slides and we talked on a Google slide so I think it's important to give your child access to things especially in like um situations such as a pandemic so they can connect with the peers that they have already made or make new ones so that they don't feel so isolated fantastic yeah and I think yeah what was pointed about about um social anx

iety I think there is bit of concern and and use that anxiety is increasing amongst young people so knowing that there are options via online to actually um help with those kind of situations is is really good to know as well so there there and we touched on a little bit but um the has been negative commentary I guess we can all admit that or have all seen that about online interactions and you know how detrimental they are and I think a lot of people from the audience are Keen to kind of unders

tand this and unpack this a bit more so um and perhaps you know the onl negative commentary might take away from real life friendships yeah I'm keing to know what's your experience being in this space way about you know negative commentary and you know how to deal with those and and how maybe to protect yourself from that that negativity um right negativity is in like actual negative content or taking away from in real life relationships Sorry probably wasn't being clear yeah so um having negati

ve experiences um online um yeah um it is relatively common or like it it's kind of inevitable to like have some sort of negative interaction or experience online but I don't think it should discourage young people or parents from letting their children go online because even if they do experience that it's a good educational um like experience or a learning experience and I think it's really important to educate children as they're coming into the online world to like find ways to handle it and

how to discuss it with their like Guardians so that they can feel safer online and so that they can avoid it in the future like blocking people uh removing yourself from situations uh just trying to prevent going on to a side of the internet that you might not want to see um I think it's really important education is really important yeah I think that's a great point you know understanding it and knowing um the strategies to put in place when if there are kind of negative situations happening I

'm just wondering have you experienced anything or your friends or peers people you know of who have experienced a sort of a negative interaction that had to like involve adults or other people um an example I can think of is there was this one time this wasn't me this was um some friends that I had they were on this group chat on I think it was Snapchat not anything against Snapchat but um and there was some content on there that was being shared on the scripture that was really horrible and pe

ople were like feeling uncomfortable and unsafe on the online thing and they brought it up with their adults and they kind I think they took it to the police like the police took the stuff down did research on it um and they were given like a speech at school and just a lot of Education to prevent from happening in the future and to make sure that they know that it is okay to talk about any negative like um interactions or experiences that you have online do you think you your friends learned so

me um important lessons from that kind of experience definitely to um think about what you're saying or doing online and to think about whether it's worth it to be in a space if you don't feel safe or comfortable yeah yeah I think they're really good tips and I think sometimes online interactions can happen quite quickly and things can happen without you know a lot of thought because we're often reacting to stuff so yeah I think those lessons are quite good for all of us in general so thanks for

sharing that experience so Casey I'm wondering what your your team you and your team have experienced working with young people who who might have some have had some negative kind of situations when being online yeah thanks Mandy yeah so um my team work really closely with families and young people and we've definitely come across challenges for young people who are interacting with friends online so um I guess what we think is really important and what helps with young people um is to have tha

t open communication with the trusted adult so just to be able to um have a space where you can open up and just discuss your online relationships or interactions um without being judged and you know having that trusted adult to debrief with and to have those conversations with um is a really great protective Factor because it allows that young person to be able to share that with somebody who can help um what we know is that um when when young people are validated and they're heard um by their

trusted adult their parent caregiver um they're more likely to to receive guidance from them um so we know that to be true I guess um it is natural for parents to react um when they feel that their young person has been exposed to something inappropriate online um and I guess want to protect the young person by removing them from that environment or taking away devices and things like that um what I would say about that those however it's sometimes it can have some really unintended outcomes and

you know one being that the the young person may become more secretive around sharing information um or yeah it could just create a bit of distrust um so I guess what we we really see is that when a parent is reactive and removes devices or takes away um that connection that young people do shut down and they may start hiding things from their parents when you know they're threatened at losing those devices and things so I guess what we we we encourage you know having that open communication um

having those conversations often and they may look like you know sitting down with a young person once a week um talking about what's appropriate and what's not appropriate asking them about what they're doing online asking them about what they're seeing online um asking them about what other people are posting and how they feel about it does it you know sit okay with them are they comfortable with these things and it opens up a conversation to be able to kind of support them to speak to you wh

en something doesn't feel right um it's a little bit like the who's your five idea you know having those all those trusted people who you can talk to when things are just not feeling right online um so we would encourage that that parents should always have those conversations and um the other thing I think is really having that expectation of a young person as well that they will act appropriately online too um and setting up and having those conversations with them about what they feel is appr

opriate online um and that you know it's it's on them as well to provide support and understanding to friends it's sort of really important um so yeah I guess what I'd also note is that um families need to understand that they're young the sort of Young Person's maturity level and what they're kind of capable of being exposed to online as suppose so um I think what a really good thing to do is is to jump on the esafety commission website and have a look at all of all of that information there's

so much information on there about um what these apps are and what apps they using and just really understanding that to help them stay safe online I think parental controls can be really helpful as well so there's Heats of information on the E safety commission about that too um I would just caution that no parental control will ever um be like a Chuck it on and walk away kind of situation you really need to be having those open conversations with your young person and making it okay for them t

o talk to you um and I would just say that as young people get older they do actually get quite Savvy at getting around those parental controls so um although they're really important to put in place um I think it doesn't replace um having a space to be to be heard about your experiences um and to validate your Young Person's experiences and not discount them because you know what they're experiencing online can actually be very upsetting um so I think yeah taking that time as you would in any r

elationship whether it's positive or negative to really hear hear them out and give them the space to do brief about that yeah they're really great points and I assuming that you don't need to wait until they're older I'm thinking even younger children these days are able to have an age appropriate relationship about being online and you know how that works for them my youngest has had an I know my kids have had an iPad for school workor since grade one so I think yeah your points about that ope

n communication and establishing that early on is is really important so thanks for those insights um and Riley I'm just curious what you know from the research perspective what what have you found in your research and others as well yeah there's um there's quite a bit to talk about in this space of course we do definitely acknowledge the risks of online engagement for young people and I think something you touched on earlier Mandy I'd just like to go back to very briefly in terms of online inte

ractions potentially taking things away from offline or real life friendships I think what what we've seen in some of the research that I've conducted with my colleagues back at Griffith University is that although you know like I said earlier for young people they are often interacting with face-to-face friends online they still report and describe their face-to-face friendships to be or their interactions with those friends to be more meaningful more enjoyable more tangible just simply because

of that Dynamic of actually being face to face with somebody whereas sometimes when you're interacting by behind the screen there is a sense of distance and there is for young for some young people a disconnect where they don't feel as though they can be as close with their friends or they may not really understand the consequences of what they might say so those things in terms of interactions with close friends are really important to consider in terms of how we can support young people to en

gage in a way online that still makes them feel really connected to their friends and that allows them to have valuable interactions um like we've touched on already there are some other instances where there may be unwanted social contact online or young people may see something that makes them feel uncomfortable they might witness or be involved in cyberaggression or cyber bullying and there are a lot of different experiences that could happen but equipping young people with the skills to navi

gate them and like Casey mentioned having really open conversations and supportive spaces where young people can turn to a trusted adult to talk about those is very important um without having that there is the risk of negative experiences online being associated with things like anxiety and depression as well as just fluctuations in mood and experiences of negative moods like frustration or worry so those things are really important to keep in mind but yeah reflecting a little bit in terms of w

hat we can do to support young people if they do experience negative things online or how to avoid negative experiences online is really to think about the skills that they have so I would never have driven a car if I hadn't received any training in it um you know any kind of support from my parents that taught me how to drive a car I think because the online environment young people are growing up with the internet now but we really need to be careful not to just assume that they have the skill

s to navigate the online context so actually providing support like we've talked about and like Casey said having conversations with them checking in with young people to see what they are experiencing how they feel about it and if there's anything that they want you to do gives them a sense of control over a situation but also allows you to check in and see how they're feeling and and their General kind of well-being as they're going as well so there's a a move in the literature now in terms of

research towards understanding and supporting social media literacy development which is the skills and competencies for using the internet and social media in a way that does maximize the benefits but also minimizes the risks and we have um linked to the APA which is the American Psychological association's Health advisory on social media use in adolescence that's in the handouts that you can download there's a lot of information in there about you know having conversations with young people a

s well and on the e- safety commissioner's website too about what can be done to really support those skill developments and to help parents and give some practical guides in terms of actually having those conversations and and providing that support great that's fantastic know that there's some resources out there we could all use in the workplace as well as at home that's really fantastic to know that there's research looking at being proactive you know about it um and giving skills which prob

ably are just going to be life skills aren't they for young people of how to manage social media but also relationships in general so I think that's yeah really helpful and useful to know thanks Riley yeah I was just wondering um whether you all had any other advice on how we could better support young people to develop positive peer relationships in online spaces and how families and people working with young people can encourage these positive relationships way um I'm curious as to how you you

learned to kind of avoid these more negative situations and and from a young person's perspective what what can adults do better to to help support yourself and your peers to have these more positive relationships oh I think you're meet again it's all right um I think that um I sort of taught myself how to uh in like navigate the online world but I think it also helped to have like people come into school and give you talks even though it can be a bit like aggressive like don't go online and st

uff like that it could be a bit aggressive but I think it's for adults it can be like educate yourself as well to and um make sure you know what you're talking about and make sure you hear your child out so they don't get secretive like Casey Andy said and um I think I just learned to just through bad experiences to not try and handle them really handson or like be like Oh I'm G to say this and say that just remove yourself because they can't really do anything if they're online and that's how i

t's different to in real life so I just think if you feel the need to remove yourself then do so because it can be safer and more efficient and it can prevent you from seeing more of what you don't want to see or saying and doing more what you don't want to say or do so yeah fascinating when you said you've kind of learned from more negative experiences is there kind of one that you might be willing to share that could shine a light on on what's happened and what what you learned from from that

okay so does everyone know what Roblox is so Roblox is like this online game where you can like join different games and they're all made by people they in the community and there's like open chat where you can talk to anyone you want and there are like easy ways to parentally control that by like turning off chats and stuff but I was like kind of Unlimited in what I could say and who I could talk to and like there were people that I would meet go oh my gosh add be on this and add on that end up

being like an adult hope my dad but um but um I just learned that some people are just messed up online and if you aren't part of that group then it's then you can remove yourself from being part of that group really easily through like as I said before blocking and like yeah it is easy to get into those situations but it's also easy to prevent them from happening and to prevent them from um going too far so that's that so do you think it would help if we kind of adults or parents talk with the

ir kids about like warning signs or kind of things where it's like oh red flag kind of thing is that what you mean yeah um teaching them not to trust everything that you see or everything that other people say and just to uh be diligent and intuitive and to question everything pretty much okay thank you for a very wise words Casey what are your thoughts on how we can better support young people yeah um so I think I guess it's really important to again I'm going to say to encourage those positive

relationships I think that's important in all aspects of life but it's really important in that online world as well um yeah I think that's that's definitely important but um in a practical sense I think what we what really does help and I'm going to repeat myself again around um having those frequent conversations and it sounds like that's happened for way um she knows how to keep herself safe online she knows how to get out of those situations so I think I'm really creating or promoting a fam

ily culture where um it's it's okay to have those conversations um and and helping your young person to notice those red flags you know what is okay what isn't okay um you know what what can we expect from people online is it that different you know we need to be respected um if we don't want to see that there are ways to get away from that um so I think helping young people to understand the risks is really important and creating a safe space for young people to discuss it freely um again I thi

nk yeah it's really important that parents understand their child's maturity level as well and there's lots of you know lots of apps that children and young people people are on today have age limits um there's things you can look up and read about so yeah I think the potential for harm is obviously there um but those conversations if they're frequent enough and if you're helping a young person to really understand it can mitigate those risks um and it can help your your young person stay safe o

nline um I would recommend you know parents staying as involved as possible in those things um it's interesting that way water up Roblox I have a Roblox account um there's three young people in my house so um they're all in this age group so 8 to 14 um we all play Roblox together so me and my partner both have have an account um it's something that we do as a family and we do it frequently um I think what helps is that we can see how they're interacting online and we can see how others are inter

acting online and it gives us a opportunity to have those conversations with them so I think parents being involved in their in their online world is really really vital um whether it's just sitting next to your young person whilst they're playing it's about asking questions it's about really trying to understand what what they are doing online um I think that's really important to to have a look into what they want to play or what they want to want to use what sort of apps they're on um before

you allow them to download it so that you can make that assessment about whether this is this is okay for them or their developmental age um I also think you know when I when when young people are seeing you know inappropriate things again it's really really it is going to happen um it's really important that they do have that safe adult to speak with um and you know it's important to also have limits around these things it's so accessible um and and there's no denying that you know we have limi

ts around our Roo roadblox use um like way was saying we don't just allow our children to add anybody um they have to be somebody that we know a friend from school maybe um you know a friend family friend something like that we we have limits about how long they can spend on these things as well so we we definitely have those things in place um it's important that you understand that because like Riley was saying earlier we cannot just assume that they know um and that they can navigate these th

ings on their own so yeah I think that's really important and yeah I think what we know is yeah when a parent has that online um like that involvement in The Young Person's online world we will see better outcomes and I think also I read an article the other day on the ABC which was about a research project that was released from uh the E safety commission again and it was around how young people and children actually want their parents to play with them online um so it's a really interesting re

ad um yeah I think you know it creates an opportunity to be together as a family um and I think yeah those open conversations are really really important great fantastic advice Casey that that's a lot of food for thought Riley just before we go into the live uh Q&A just wonder if you had any kind of further advice to provide the audience on this topic yeah absolutely um again I'll I'll be repeating a little bit of information but I can also add some extra insights into this um research shows you

know the the open communication like we've touched on a couple of times already um setting social media limits and boundaries and guidance from adults around the internet and social media use these are the really top three predictors of positive outcomes online including engaging and healthy relationships for young people and I think the the setting social media limits and boundaries is quite an interesting topic as well um it does play in a little bit to what as adults we model to our young pe

ople so if you're saying to your young person you can't be online at night in your bedroom yet you're going and doing the same things they start to wonder what is appropriate and when they can kind of push the boundaries a little bit so being really mindful of our own engagement with the internet and online interactions is very important um to actually show young people how to engage in a really safe and healthy way I think other things that particularly relate to positive online interactions is

helping young people to identify what makes their face-to-face interactions feel positive and feel connected and feel uh you know really supportive and helping them to identify how they might replicate that in the online environment how they might maximize on the different opportunities that they have online whether it is directly messaging someone whether it might be providing support through liking content or things for their friends and actually how they can use those online interactions in

a really positive way something that you touched on just briefly before Mandy was being really proactive in this space and I think that's really important to stay on top of so being proactive in terms of helping and supporting young people from a young age um we know from research coming out in the states in America that young people are are engaging on social media platforms from the age of eight so we need to be thinking about this from an early age and being more proactive rather than reactiv

e um also mentioned having people come into school and talk about you know engaging in social media and saying just don't go online I think avoiding Scare Tactics in this space is also really important in my research in a project that we're running at the moment I've interviewed a number of different teachers across different states in Australia and the number of teachers that have reported that police will get a list of student names look them up come into school and say this is everything I co

uld find out about you just from knowing your name is shocking how how much that is the tactic that is relied upon rather than actually showing young people this is how you can navigate your privacy settings this is what it means to have communication with other people if you get into a situation where you feel like somebody you don't know is contacting you all of those kinds of things are really important to be mindful of just in terms of the approach that we take um for educating young people

about it so communication education and support are really really important and like like Casey reflected as well actively engaging with young people rather than just putting on restrictions um is really important so of course set boundaries around use and when is appropriate where is appropriate but actively engaging and actually having those conversations all of the time is what leads to a more open dialogue about when negative experiences may happen what happens next or just sharing the posit

ives as well because it can be a really positive um fulfilling space to be involved in so yeah we've touched on things like the E safety website as well where there are a lot of resources if you head directly to different social media um platform websites so say for example Snapchat's already been mentioned today you can find um parental guides on how to actually set up those parental controls and guardian guides on information about what to do and and where you can take the next steps if someth

ing negative does happen um like recording the information or taking screenshots and then where to go to report that and get the content taken down for example so there is a lot of support and I think it's really important that as adults supporting young young people in this space we need to try and do what we can to also educate ourselves um to really understand the platforms young people are using of course I think the platforms themselves need to be doing more in the space as well but at a co

mmunity and social level having the conversations being aware and and trying to understand our young people's online experiences is really important that's f fantastic really appreciate the those insights and guidance and advice from all of you on on this topic I feel bit more relieved that I have some strategies and actions that you know I can take in place for my own family and to share that with you know friends and and other family members as well so really appreciate that advice and yeah th

at was really fantastic so now we're going to move on to the Q&A part of the webinar and given the time we probably only have space for one or two we have had quite a few questions come through the Q&A on the dashboard as well so thank you very much um for providing those we will address some questions now but we'll go offline afterwards and answer some more questions later on and that will be recorded and made available in about two weeks um on our website okay so the first audience question we

're going to talk about um is sort of similar to what we've covered already about the need to balance privacy with monitoring safety um especially if you you know the young people in their own room and you know with their pods in their ears and you know not really parents aren't really able to monitor are things like um online contracts between parents and young people useful we talk talked about parental controls but I'm just wondering whether something like an online contract would be useful H

have you ever used an online contract before or thought about those kind of things yeah um I I'm not muted am I okay um I've used online contracts in school for when we had iPads in from like year three to year six and they were about but they were a bit intrusive actually they were like we can look through your photos and stuff like that and I was like whoa but I don't think you should go that far like going through your kids chats and like all of their social media it doesn't need to be that

intrusive it can just be like a check in or like a are you feeling safe right now and I think online contracts could be very useful it could be like uh I will like ask you questions you can't do this but like things that are a bit more vague so they're not like completely limiting their interactions and like stunting what they can do online so how do you feel about having your parents be able to kind of check in in that way is it something you can understand that is kind of needed from your poin

t of view I think it's really important to make sure your kid is doing things that are appropriate safe like for their age and their maturity online I think it's really important for parents to V that and I'm not even against like taking a phone and like having some downtime or um being away from screens or limiting screen time I think it's good to do that um just as long as you're maintaining a level of privacy so that your kid doesn't feel like their entire social life and their um their inter

actions with their friends be like exposed to people great thank you H Casey anything brief to add about online contracts or balancing that privacy and monitoring of safety I just say that um every I guess it's about setting those clear expectations before before you open up that online world to your young person so I think yeah online contracts they can be um really useful to set out those expectations but um again they don't replace that ongoing and frequent conversation um about what's happen

ing in their online World um I also think in terms of privacy part of that expectation setting for parents is to say yeah if I don't think that you're safe um there may be some level of monitoring that I will have to do to make sure that you're say um so I think that's reasonable and Riley any other points to add on that topic yeah um I think we know you know from the research we know that the potential risks of online interactions are actually greater at the stage of earlier adolescence than th

ey are in later adolescence and in young adulthood so definitely keeping in mind the monitoring and discussions and education around that at the earlier stages is really key with of course more autonomy an agency being given to young people as they grow up as well so we've touched a little bit on um you know the maturity level of young people and age appropriate use and what that actually looks like really does depend on each individual adolescent so keeping in mind their maturity level their un

derstanding of risks and consequences their ability for self-regulation all of these things are really important and the people working directly with or living with young people will know their adolescent the best and using that information and really as Casey's already said keeping the open conversation and and safe space available to talk is uh really critical I think um just one note on the online contracts as well of course setting expectations and boundaries and having conversations is real

ly important I would just be mindful of the language used um so say for example we use the word online contracts if a young person feels like in some way they are in breach of that contract like Casey mentioned before they may be more likely to become more secretive or not come to you in fear of negative consequences or punishment if their devices will be taken away or if the internet will be turned off or something like that so just being mindful about that and what it looks like if something g

oes wrong also having those conversations is important um just to make sure that you know this the space for open communication is still there I think that's a fantastic point I think taking the time to think about what advice you're going to give and what kind of that will mean and understanding that from the perspective of the young person receiving that advice as well to make sure it's not going to have an unintended negative side effect so I I think that's wonderful unfortunately we've run o

ut of time um apologies we've only been able to do the one um uh question from the audience but we will reconvene afterwards and and record some more answers to some other questions wow that was so amazing thank you so much um to the panel um Riley Casey H thank you so much for your time today and being so generous with your thoughts and ideas and perspectives um thank you to the audience um for being with us and for listening and I hope you gain some really useful insights for work and home I c

ertainly did uh i' last but not least I'd like to thank the a Communications and child and family evidence team who make all of this happen behind the scenes in particular Aon and Crystal please subscribe to the AES newsletter to be notified when this recording is available we also have a research snapshot on positive peer relationships and mental well-being which will be published next week and we'll give you a bit more detail about the research in this space also a little reminder about the fe

edback survey that will come through to you at the end of this webinar we really do appreciate any feedback you give from our webinars and often that helps us inform how we plan our future webinars we really value value your input so we look forward to seeing you at our next webinar which is next week and it's on supporting family and child mental health in the face of SE severe weather events and disasters take care and we'll see you again soon welcome back to our Q&A we're going to talk throug

h some questions that came through the live webinar through the audience dashboard welcome again Riley Casey and H our first question is how do online peer forums and interactions help build confidence among young people in these interactions but also in offline interactions with other peers and non- peers such as adults and parents how about you first way I think that um like what we touched on a bit before um it's really good for the confidence of uh people that could be neurodivergent or have

social anxiety it's really good for them to like practice um talking to people and it's also really beneficial for offline relationships in like references being able to send each other like videos or like memes or something and I think that it's really beneficial in that way and for building confidence great Casey what are your thoughts on this I just add to way they're seeing around you know there's a lot of validating factors um with online interactions it's continuing that um interaction in

to home time that can be really beneficial um it's also you know validation from likes and things like that um they are there U not they're beneficial um they don't replace you know other interactions but definitely can be very validating for young people and build that confidence right thanks Casey and Riley anything further to add from you yeah I think the a lot of confidence can be found and built online um like I mentioned earlier you know we do consider the benefits of online interactions p

articularly among young um socially vulnerable youth so in my research for example I can talk to the social anxiety and experiences of social anxiety what we've found in some qualitative research where we actually asked young people to describe the differences in their interactions online and face Toof face is that younger people with more social anxiety so um tending towards the higher end of a social anxiety measure actually reported feeling more confident so they would describe feeling a bit

protected online where they weren't interpreting those non-verbal cues that I mentioned earlier they also felt like they had a bit more control over their interactions so they could kind of draft their responses and feel a bit more confident that they were giving um what they thought to be an appropriate response to their friends where they were less time pressured than they would be in a face-to-face conversation so there's a lot of opportunities to really like qu said practice those social ski

lls to think about how you present yourself and like Casey said as well to to receive some validation and support from your peers so definitely there's a space online where they can build some confidence that then translates into face-to-face communication when you you know have that positive sense of self from the online interactions fantastic thank you Riley and my next question and Final question is what advice can you give practitioners and parents who may be noticing a young person who's on

l online quite a bit and possibly becoming disengaged or disconnected with their family in real life or even interfering with other activities such as sleep um start with you H oh um see I'm an only child so I've got I don't have like other siblings that um being online might interfere with my relationship with them but I do agree that some children um start to disengage with uh their families for interactions online instead and I think I think Casey covered this in the webinar I think it's real

ly important to set a good um example for your kid and not also be disengaging with um social media because that does happen a lot for the parents and they think it's okay CU I do it but I think it's also really important to like find strategies that might work for you like making things less interesting like making a black and white screen screen is what someone said before and just knowing what you think will help you or help your child because you know that your child best right fantastic adv

ice way thank you um any additional thoughts to add Casey yeah so reminds me of a story that one of my practitioners was telling me about the other day around a young person he's um working with so she's been having a bit of trouble sleeping at night um and didn't sort of have the best sleep hygiene so we started to explore what that looked like for her um and she let my practitioner know that she's on her phone at nighttime and she's often talking um to people who she speaks to online and he so

rt of dug into that a bit more around how many people are you speaking to online and she say she's actually speaking up to 50 people online at a time um so really really um extensive amount of people and a lot a lot of interaction which is is quite distracting so he had a really good way of um speaking to her about that he said you know um imagine that you had you know 50 people standing in your bedroom um all wanting your attention all w your responses to questions to to things and um imagine w

hat that would feel like so you know through that activity she was sort of able to identify that it would actually be really hard to relax in a room that was full of people um wanting all of that attention from you so yeah it was it was a great way I really L the way he approached that with her and from that you know she it opened that conversation around how do we you know limit that like we we T her about the Do Not Disturb um settings on her phone um things like you know setting those healthy

boundaries with friends that you know I'm not this is my bedtime this is when I'm not available um and really having those those those good interpersonal boundaries um yeah thanks Casey that's a really powerful example and case study thanks for sharing that um and finally Riley any thoughts to add please yeah I think um it it can be really challenging to navigate how much time is too much time online when it does start to interfere with our relationships at home our sleep times and boundaries a

round that as well so I think um you know I'll speak to briefly what the research says in the space and we do see from young people a lot of reports about the convenience of online interactions leading to a sense of pressure to always be available so like Casey said feeling like you have to respond to everybody and feeling like you need to be available as soon as a notification comes up on your phone it can be very overwhelming and practical advice around that would be to set quiet hours you kno

w you can set your time on your phone where notifications just don't come up or use do not disturb um to actually limit just the the number of times there's there's many reports of adults and adolescents experiencing ghost notifications where you just think your phone's vibrated so you go and reach for it and grab it and that kind of sense of you know urgency to respond and to be available is a real thing um there's also a concept coming out in the literature called technoference which is the in

terference of technology in our relationships some people also call it fubbing which is snubbing people with your phone so yeah it's really interesting to think about the fact that these are such common experiences that it's now really coming out in the research and we do develop terms to to refer to them setting setting the boundaries and really thinking about what it means for for your quality of your relationships face to face um does help sometimes to engage a little bit more mindfully and i

ntentionally with the media and your phone or social media when you're using it but also to set boundaries and really think okay I want to be present I want to be hear in my interactions when you are face tof face with people so having those conversations again and really thinking about the expectations of what it means to maybe sit at the dinner table together at night without phones and to have time in your bedroom at night where you're not on your phone before you go to sleep um those things

are really important to be navigating and and definitely should be part of the conversations around um safe and healthy social media and internet use great that's wonderful thanks Riley I learned some new words certainly our culture has shifted a lot hasn't it in recent times so that's all really useful advice thank you again Riley Casey and H really appreciate your time today and answering some extra audience questions thank you very much see you next time [Music] than