How To Talk Minnesotan | Full Length Film

>> Announcer: HOW TO TALK MINNESOTAN IS MADE POSSIBLE IN PART BY A GRANT FROM THE DAYTON HUDSON FOUNDATION, ON BEHALF OF DAYTON'S AND TARGET STORES. >> GREETINGS. MY NAME IS HOWARD MOORE. AND THE DEAL-S I'M YOUR GUIDE IN THIS MINNESOTA LANGUAGE SYSTEMS VIDEO. IT'S MADE FOR PEOPLE LIKE YOURSELVES, POTENTIAL VISITORS FROM OUT OF STATE, SO YOU DON'T STICK OUT LIKE A SORE THUMB AND SOIL YOUR -- SPOIL YOUR VACATION. AFTER A FEW HOURS OF STUDY, YOU'LL THINK YOU LIVED IN MINNESOTA ALL YOUR LIFE AND MAY

BE YOUR NEIGHBORS WILL, TOO. WHAT YOU'LL GET IN THE NEXT HALF HOUR IS BASIC INSTRUCTION ON HOW TO TALK MINNESOTAN. WE'LL ALSO THROW IN SOME USEFUL INFORMATION ABOUT MINNESOTA FOOD AND OTHER CULTURAL ODDITIES. ODD TO YOU. I HATE TO COME RIGHT OUT AND SAY IT, BUT A PROGRAM LIKE THIS ISN'T CHEAP TO MAKE. SO YOU'LL SEE A COUPLE OF TASTEFUL ADVERTISEMENTS HERE AND THERE FROM OUR SPONSORS. ANYWAY, STICK AROUND AND LEARN HOW TO TALK MINNESOTAN, IF YOU FEEL LIKE IT. IT MIGHT EVEN BE FUN. I DON'T KNOW. >

> WELL, WE MIGHT AS WELL GET STARTED WITH OUR FIRST LESSON HERE. THESE THREE WORK HORSES OF MINNESOTA CONVERSATION WILL CARRY YOU THROUGH YOUR FIRST SCARY HOURS. IN FACT, THEY SHOULD BE GOOD FOR A WEEK. IF YOU ONLY SPEAK IF SPOKEN TO, WHICH IS ALWAYS A GOOD IDEA YEA. -- ANYWAY. MEMORIZE THEM, WORK ON THEM AT HOME WITH YOUR FAMILY, REPEAT THEM UNTIL THEY'RE SECOND NATURE. THEY'RE THE BUILDING BLOCKS OF ALL DIALOGUE. NOW, IF YOU FLY IN, YOUR FIRST CHANCE TO TRY MINNESOTAN WILL LIKELY OCCUR AT THE

AIRPORT. >> WE FOUND YOUR SUITCASE. >> IT GOT CAUGHT IN THE CON HAVE AOR BELT. SOME OF YOUR UNDERWEAR FELL OUT AND SHREDDED. OTHERWISE IT'S OKAY. WE PUT THE HANDLE BACK ON, SO THAT SHOULD LAST YOU AT LEAST UNTIL THE PARKING LOT. >> OH, THANKS. >> YOU BET. >> IS ANOTHER MATTER. WE THINK HE'S ON HIS WAY TO KANSAS CITY. BUT, NO PROBLEM, WE'LL FIND HIM. >> I APPRECIATE THAT. >> YOU BET. >> YOU BET IS MAINLY USED TO ANSWER QUESTIONS. IF YOU CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE TO SAY, SAY, YOU BET. IT'S MEAN

T TO BE PLEASANTLY AGREEABLE AND DOESN'T OBLIGATE YOU TO A STRONG POSITION. IN FACT, HARDLY ANYTHING OBLIGATES YOU TO A STRONG OPINION IN MINNESOTA. >> COLD ENOUGH FOR YOU? >> YOU BET. >> I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THIS MIDDLE EAST PEACE DEAL. SEEMS LIKE ALL THEY DO IS TALK. >> YOU BET. >> SOMETIMES THE QUESTION YOU ANSWER IS ONLY IMPLIED. >> THE HUMILITY SORT OF GETS TO YOU. >> YOU BET. >> BUT IT SURE BEATS -- >> THOSE PLACES SCARE ME. >> YOU BET. >> THAT'S DIFFERENT IS INDISPENSABLE IN MINNESOTA. YOU

BET IS A PLANK ET CETERA REPLY ON NEUTRAL GROUND WITH A MERE SUGGESTION OF OPINION. THAT'S DIFFERENT IS DEPLOYED IN ALL OTHER CASES EXCEPT FOR WHATEVER IS CALLED FOR. MEANS YOU HAVE A OPINION BUT YOU'RE HOLDING BACK THE DEALS. >> I SUPPOSE YOU USE NIGHT CRAWLERS FOR BULLHEADS? >> YOU BET. WHAT DO YOU USE? >> STINK BAIT. I MAKE IT OUT OF ROTTEN HAMBURGER AND MOLDY CHEESE, OATMEAL FOR A BINDER. >> THAT'S DIFFERENT. >> SOMEBODY SHOWS YOU THE WHOLE SCHEME DEM KRAGT SCHEME IN THEIR HOUSE WITH A HOLST

EIN CARPET, HOT STYLING PANELING AND THE UTTER LAMPS YOU SAY -- >> IT'S DIFFERENT. >> IF YOU'RE DINING WITH MINNESOTANS DURING YOUR VISIT AND THEY ASK YOU IF YOU LIKE THE MACARONI HERRING PINTO BEAN HOTDISH STARING UP AT YOU FROM YOUR PLATE YOU MIGHT SAY -- >> YOU BET. >> BUT YOU'D PROBABLY SAY -- >> IT'S DIFFERENT. >> WHATEVER EXPRESSES EMOTIONAL TURMOIL OF MANY VARIETIES AND TAKES OVER IN MINNESOTA CONVERSATION WHEN YOU BET AND THAT'S DIFFERENT WON'T DO THE JOB. WHATEVER CAN BE USED TO EXPRESS

DISAPPOINTMENT. >> YOUR WORK IS GOOD, BUD, BUT WE'VE GOT IN COMPLAINTS BUT WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO LET YOU GO. IT'S THE ECONOMY. ALSO, WE LOST YOUR RETIREMENT FUND IN JUNK BONDS. >> WHATEVER. >> WHERE IT CAN EXPRESS -- OR IT CAN EXPRESS RESIGNATION. >> I'M GONNA HAVE TO REPLACE THIS WHOLE MESS. IT AIN'T GONNA BE CHEAP. >> WHATEVER. >> IF YOUR WIFE TELLS YOU THAT HER SISTER AND BROTHER-IN-LAW ARE GONNA COME AND STAY WITH YOU FOR A FEW MONTHS WHILE THEY FIND THEMSELVES, YOU MIGHT SAY -- >> YOU BET. >

> OR YOU MIGHT SAY -- >> THAT'S DIFFERENT. >> BUT MORE THAN LIKELY YOU'D SAY -- >> WHATEVER. >> THIS PORTION OF THE PROGRAM IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY BIGGER HAMMER HARDWARE. >> DO IT YOURSELF, SOONER OR LATER YOU'RE GONNA NEED A BIGGER HAMMER. SAY YOU START A HOME REPAIR PROJECT, PRETTY SOON YOU'RE IN WAY OVER YOUR HEAD. LIKE MAYBE YOU DIDN'T UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN 220 AND 110 WHEN YOU WIRED UP THE CEILING FAN IN THE KITCHEN. TURN IT ON TO TEST IT AND IT SAILS THROUGH THE EAST WINDOW. JUST

GIVE BIGGER HAMMER A CALL AND THEY'LL SEND A GUY OUT IN AN UNMARKED VAN. RING NOBODY EVER NEEDS TO KNOW. >> SWEETHEART, I'LL GET IT. >> THANKS FOR GETTING HERE SO SOON. >> YOU BET. NO PROBLEM. >> I REALLY APPRECIATE IT. COME ON IN. I SEE YOU BROUGHT THE FLOWERS. >> REAL NICE. SHE'LL LIKE THOSE. >> DAISIES. >> OH, YEAH, BEAUTIFUL. >> KITCHEN? >> YOU GOT THAT RIGHT. >> BIGGER HAMMER HARDWARE, THEY'RE JUST AS FRIENDLY AS YOUR NEXT-DOOR NEIGHBOR, BUT WITHOUT ALL THAT SARCASM THAT HURTS SO MUCH. >>

THIS IS LINGUISTIC CHART OF SENTENCE PROFILES. MOST MINNESOTA PHRASES LOOK LIKE THIS. AS IN FIGURE 1 OR LIKE THIS, AS IN FIGURE 2. SOMETIMES YOU'LL SEE A SENTENCE LIKE THIS, AS IN FIGURE 3, BUT FIGURES 4 AND 5 HERE AND HERE WOULD BE BIG MISTAKES. MINNESOTAN IS NOT A MUSICAL LANGUAGE. SOME PEOPLE WITH AN AXE TO GRIND HAVE SAID IT'S MUSICAL EQUIVALENT OF A ONE-STRINGY TAR. WHAT I SAY IS, WHAT'S WRONG WITH A MONOTONE? AT LEAST YOU DON'T STARTLE ANYBODY. BUT IT DOES MEAN THAT MINNESOTANS AREN'T ASK

ED TO BE ON TALK SHOW AS MUCH AS RESIDENTS OF OTHER STATES. NOT THAT WE CARE. WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE WOULD GO ON TV AND TELL THEIR LIFE STORIES ANYWAY? ONE-STRING GUITAR. >> IT'S OKAY TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT THINGS HERE. BUT THERE'S NO SENSE RUNNIN' DOWN THE STREET TELLIN' PEOPLE ABOUT IT AT THE TOP OF YOUR VOICE. MINNESOTANS PREFER TO EXPRESS THEIR POSITIVE FEELINGS THROUGH THE USE OF NEGATIVES BECAUSE IT NATURALLY LEVELS THINGS OUT. THIS WILL BE ONE OF YOUR HARDEST LESSONS. SAY YOU JUST GOT MARRIED OR

BOUGHT A LATE-MODEL PICKUP UNDER BOOK PRICE WITH LOW MILEAGE, HARDLY ANY RUST. A MINNESOTAN WOULD SAY, -- >> I WOULDN'T WANT YOU TO THINK I'M NOT HAPPY. >> THAT'S A STRONG STATEMENT HERE. IF SOMEBODY ASKS YOU, HOW'S IT GOING, AND YOU'RE FEELING AVERAGE OR OKAY, WHICH IS ABOUT ALL A GUY CAN EXPECT, REALLY, YOU SAY, NOT TOO BAD. BUT IF YOU'RE FEELING BETTER THAN AVERAGE AND THE OLD WINDS HAVEN'T STARTED TO BLOW YOUR WAY YET, YOU SAY, CAN'T COMPLAIN. WHICH MEANS YOU COULD COMPLAIN BUT YOU WON'T BE

CAUSE YOU FEEL GOOD NOW, BUT, OF COURSE, YOU HAVE NO ILLUSIONS THAT IT'S PERMANENT. BUT IF YOU SAY, IT COULD BE WORSE, YOU MEAN IT EXACTLY BECAUSE THINGS CAN ALWAYS BE WORSE, THEY CAN ALWAYS BE WORSE MORE OFTEN THAN THEY CAN ALWAYS BE BETTER. FOR PRACTICE WITH A MINNESOTA NEGATIVE, TRY TRANSLATING THESE FOREIGN PHRASES INTO MINNESOTAN. >> I'M SO EXCITED I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. >> A GUY WOULD ALMOST BE HAPPY TODAY IF HE WASN'T CAREFUL. >> THAT'S THE BEST MOVIE I'VE SEEN IN 20 YEARS. >> WELL, IT'S AN

IMPROVEMENT ON THAT OTHER STUFF WE PAID 9 BUCKS TO WATCH AND HAVE PEOPLE DUMP PEPSI DOWN OUR NECKS AND TALK THROUGH THE WHOLE THING. >> OH, DARLING, THIS IS OUR 20thANCER HAVE SEAR. -- ANNIVERSARY. >> NOT TOO BAD. PASS THE BUTTER, PLEASE. >> ONE LAST NOTE. NOT TOO GOOD IS AND NOT SO GOOD ARE WORSE THAN NOT TOO BAD AND NOT SO BAD. WAY WORSE, IN FACT. WHEN SOMEBODY ASKS YOU HOW YOU SLEPT ON THE GUEST BED WITH A BAR THAT CUTS ACROSS YOUR BACK AND GIVES YOU SHOOTING PAINS DOWN YOUR LEGS, YOU'LL SAY,

NOT TOOL BAD. BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT TO HURT THEIR FEELINGS. BUT HOW YOU REALLY SLEPT WAS NOT TOO GOOD. THEY'LL PROBABLY NOTICE YOU LISTENING ANYWAY. -- LIMPING ANYWAY. >> TALKING MINNESOTAN IS HARD ENOUGH. BUT YOUR AVERAGE VISITOR CAN USUALLY HAM YOU BET, THAT'S DIFFERENT AND WHATEVER IN A WEEK OR SO. IT'S WHEN NOT THE TALK THAT'S TOUGH FOR NEWCOMERS. ESPECIALLY PEOPLE FROM THE EAST COAST. THEY'RE DIFFERENT THROUGHOUT AND DON'T SEEM TO REALIZE IT EITHER. IN THIS LESSON, WE'LL COVER NONVERBAL C

OMMUNICATION IN THE GOPHER STATE WITH A FEW BASIC TIPS ON MINNESOTA BODY LANGUAGE. >> ONE, KEEP YOUR DISTANCE. TWO, AVOID TOUCHING PEOPLE. PUBLIC BODY CONTACT BETWEEN MINNESOTANS IS RARE. HOW MUCH PRIVATE BODY CONTACT OCCURS IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. THREE, WHEN YOU SHAKE HANDS, GET IT OVER WITH FAST AND EXTEND YOUR ARM THE FULL LENGTH DURING THE ENGAGEMENT. DON'T REACH OVER WITH YOUR LEFT HAND AND PAT THE OTHER PERSON'S HAND DURING THE SHAKE. FOUR, IN MOST SITUATIONS WHERE OTHER PEOPLE ARE IN T

HE VICINITY, KEEP YOUR ARMS FOLDED OR HANGING STRAIGHT DOWN AT YOUR SIDES. >> I USED TO GO OVER THERE AND RIDE ON HIS TRACTOR WHEN I WAS PLOWING, WHEN WE WERE JUST KIDS. >> TWO STANDING MINNESOTANS NEVER FACE EACH OTHER DURING CONVERSATION. THE ANGLE MADE BY THE TWO INTERSECTING LINES RUNNING PARALLEL TO THE CHEST OF THE PARTICIPANT SHOULD NEVER BE LESS THAN 45 DEGREES. 90 DEGREES IS THE AVERAGE, 135 DEGREES IS COMMON. AND 180 DEGREES IS WITHIN REASON. MORE THAN 180 DEGREES WOULD BE RARE. >> I S

AY THE -- SEE THE WIND IS COMING UP. >> YES, IT SURE IS. QUITE A BIT -- >> A SIMPLE DISCUSSION BETWEEN TWO MINNESOTA MEN ABOUT ROAD REPAIRS, GAS, OR THE WEATHER, IS USUALLY CONDUCTED AT THE FULL 180 DEGREES, NOTICE HOW BOTH GUYS ARE STARING AT A POINT ON THE FAR HORIZON. THERE'S VERY LITTLE EYE CONTACT HERE. NONE IS BEST. AND NO WILD GESTURING. >> WHAT KIND OF GAS MILEAGE YOU GET ON THAT LITTLE THING? >> OH, I GET ABOUT 26. 28, IF I USE THE GASAHOL. >> GASAHO SLMTD A GOOD PRODUCT. >> YEAH, YOU G

OT THAT RIGHT. >> YOU DON'T EVEN NEED THE ANTIFREEZE IN YOUR GAS. >> I'M NOT TAKING ANY CHANCES. IT GETS DOWN TO ABOUT 40 BELOW, I STILL THINK IT CAN GEL UP ON YOU. >> MORE OFTEN THAN NOT, WHAT BRINGS THE STRANGER TO HIS KNEES AROUND HERE IS WAVEING IT LOOKS LIKE A SIMPLE ACT, BUT IT'S ALMOST AS COMPLICATED AS SPOKEN MINNESOTAN. THE WAVE IS A GREETING DELIVERED FROM A DISTANCE WHEN ONE OR BOTH PEOPLE ARE IN SOME SORT OF MOTORIZED VEHICLE TRAVELING IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS. >> 247 -- >> AGAIN, EVAL

UATING AND IDENTIFYING THE APPROACHING VEHICLE AS FAR AHEAD AS POSSIBLE. ONCE YOU'RE PRETTY SURE YOU KNOW WHO IT IS, GET READY FOR THE WAVE BY EASING UP YOUR GRIP ON THE STEERING WHEEL WITH YOUR RIGHT HAND. CLEAR A PATH FOR YOUR ARM. DO NOT LOSE CONTROL OF THE VEHICLE. IF WAVING MEANS YOU WILL RISK DRIVING INTO THE DITCH OR OUT INTO THE FIELD, FORGET IT. THE OTHER PERSON WILL GET OVER IT IN TIME. >> THE TWO-FINGER WAVE, THE FOUR-FINGER WAVE, THE WHOLE HAND WAVE OR COMMONLY USED BETWEEN FAST-MOVI

NG VEHICLES. BUT IT'S THE NICELY EXECUTED SINGLE-FINGER WAVE THAT'S A THING OF BEAUTY AND A JOY FOREVER. TO ME, IT PERFECTLY SUMS UP THE MINNESOTA CHARACTER. THAT I LOVE SO MUCH. THE SINGLE-FINGER WAVE FROM THE STEERING WHEEL. WHEN YOU GET IT RIGHT, YOU'LL KNOW YOU'VE ARRIVED AND YOU WON'T EVER HAVE TO LEAVE AGAIN, UNLESS YOU WANT TO. >> ON YOUR VISIT TO MINNESOTA, YOU WILL SOONER OR LATER COME FACE TO FACE WITH HOTDISH, OUR MOST POPULAR NATIVE FOOD. IT CAN GRACE ANY TABLE. IT IS COMMONLY SERVED

HOT IN A DISH AND APPEARS AT CHURCH SUPPERS, WEDDINGS, 4H MEETINGS, FUNERALS, AND GATHERINGS EXACTLY LIKE THIS ONE. >> MY GOODNESS, I THOUGHT THE HOTDISHES WOULD BE ALL GONE, THE WAY YOU WERE DISHING IT UP. >> YEAH. >> HOTDISH IS CONSTRUCTED ON A BASE OF CANNED CREAM OF MUSHROOM SOUP AND CANNED VEGETABLES. AS OF THE NOVEMBER 1986 STATE HOTDISH SURVEY, THERE WERE 3732 HOTDISH RECIPES IN MINNESOTA. UP 12 FROM THE PREVIOUS NOVEMBER. MOST OF THESE RECIPES APPEAR IN LUTHERAN CHURCH COOKBOOKS. HERE A

RE EIGHT HOTDISHES I WON'T SAY FAVORITES, EXACTLY, TAKEN AT RANDOM FROM THAT SURVEY. >> IF YOU WANT TO TRY EXPERIMENTING AT HOME WITH HOTDISH BEFORE YOUR VISIT, HERE'S A GENERIC RECIPE, ROUGHLY SPEAKING, ANYTHING GOES. MIX TOGETHER IN A LARGE BOWL TWO CANS CREAM OF MUSHROOM SOUP. ONE POUND COOKED PULLER HAVIZED MEAT. TWO CANS OF PALE VEGETABLES. STIR. SALT TO TASTE. POUR INTO BAKING DISH. SPRINKLE WITH FRENCH-FRIED ONION RINGS OR CHOW MEIN NOODLES BAKE AT ANYWHERE BETWEEN 400 AND 407 UNTIL A BRO

WN CRUST FORMS. BE SURE TO DISCONNECT YOUR SMOKE ALARM. AND NOW THIS WORD FROM SLOW TO CASE NECK ACHES. >> WELL, TOMMY, IT'S YOUR FAVORITE, SLOW TO CASE SNACK CAKES. >> YOU'LL LOVE SLOW TO CASE SNACK CAKES BECAUSE THEY LAST AND LAST AND THE TASTE NEVER CHANGES. AFTER A FEW MONTHS ON THE SHELF, THE OTHER SNACK CAKES CHANGE SHAPE AND GIVE OFF GASES. BUT NOT SLOW DEE KAY AND NOW WITH TWICE AS MUCH ASINORATKAYZI NEMTDE, THEY'LL BE JUST AS GOOD IN A DECADE OR TWO. SLOW DECAY. >> ABRUPT AND EAGER ACCE

PTANCE OF ANY OFFERING IS A COMMON MISTAKE MADE BY MINNESOTA'S VISITORS. IF A MINNESOTAN SAYS, WHAT THIS FRIENDLY HOSTESS SAYS -- >> CAN I GET YOU A CUP OF COFFEE? >> YOU SHOULD NOT SAY WHAT THIS GUY IS ABOUT TO SAY. >> THAT WOULD BE GREAT. AND A LITTLE CREAM AND SUGAR AND GIVE ME ONE OF THOSE COOKIES. >> OBVIOUSLY HE'S FROM OUT OF STATE. A MINNESOTAN NEVER ACCEPTS FOOD UNTIL THE THIRD OFFER AND THEN RELUCTANTLY, AND IF IT'S NOT OFFERED THREE TIMES, IT'S NOT SERIOUS. BESIDES THAT, THOSE AREN'T C

OOKIES ON THE TRAY, THEY'RE BARS. AS YOU CAN TELL BY THE RECTANGULAR SHAPE AND THE SOFT RICE KRISPY CENTER. >> WANT A CUP OF COFFEE BEFORE YOU GO? >> NO, I DON'T WANT TO PUT YOU OUT, MARGARET. >> NO PROBLEM. I JUST MADE A FRESH POT. >> YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO GO AND DO THAT. >> HOW HOW ABOUT A CUP? >> HALF A CUP WOULD BE JUST FINE, REALLY. >> HOW ABOUT A BAR WITH THAT? >> NO, I REALLY SHOULDN'T. I'VE GAINED ABOUT SIX POUNDS IN THE LAST TWO DAYS AS IT IS. >> OH, I HAVE THESE DOUBLE CRISPY CRUNCHY FOG

HORN BARS. >> I REALLY CAN'T TAKE THAT THING. >> IT'S GOT YOUR NAME ON IT. >> WHATEVER. >> HOW ABOUT CREAM FOR YOUR COFFEE? >> NO, I CAN DRINK IT BLACK. >> I'VE GOT SOME CREAM. >> I EXPECT YOU DO, BUT JUST STAY PUT. I DON'T NEED ANY CREAM. >> IT'S RIGHT OUT HERE IN THE REFRIGERATOR. >> I WISH YOU HADN'T MADE THAT SPECIAL TRIP OUT THERE, MARGARET. >> SUGAR? >> YOU COULD SEE THIS MIGHT GO ON ALL NIGHT AND I EXPECT IT TO. NO, I DON'T NEED ANY SUGAR. IT'S ACTUALLY NOT GOOD FOR ME. >> ONE FINAL NOTE.

IN SOME NONFOOD SITUATIONS, MINNESOTANS -- MINNESOTAN OFFERS AND REFUSALS CAN BE SPEEDED UP. USE YOUR BEST JUDGMENT. >> YOU WANT SOME HELP? >> NO, THAT'S ALL RIGHT. MY WIFE WILL BE HOME PRETTY QUICK HERE. ANYWAYS, SHOULD HAVE BEEN MORE CAREFUL AND WORN SOME CLEATS OR SOMETHING. >> NO PROBLEM. I'M RIGHT HERE. >> WELL, I GOT MYSELF INTO IT. I'LL GET MYSELF OUT OF IT. >> YOU LOOK REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE. >> MAYBE YOU COULD GRAB MY FEET. >> THIS PORTION OUR PROGRAM IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY BOB HUMDE, INVE

NTOR AND ENTREPRENEUR. OWNER AND OPERATOR OF HUMDY ENTERPRISES. WELCOME, BOB. I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU'RE HERE TO SAY A FEW WORDS ABOUT YOUR NEWEST INVENTION, MAYBE IT'S NOT YOUR NEWEST, THE COMPOSTAL CAR. >> SURE. >> AS I UNDERSTAND IT, YOUR COMPOSTAL CARB IS THE ANSWER TO HIGH GAS PRICES. >> THAT'S RIGHT. >> WE'VE GOT A PICTURE HERE, BOB, OF YOUR DEVICE. IT'S MOUNTED ON A PONTIAC BONNNEVILLE. COULD YOU EXPLAIN TO OUR VIEWERS HOW THIS THING WORKS? >> WELL, IT DOESN'T TAKE A COLLEGE EDUCATION TO FI

GURE IT OUT. YOU'VE GOT THE FIRST UNIT HERE, RIGHT. >> LOOKS LIKE A FOOD BLENDER. >> MORE OR LESS. A LITTLE MORE AERODYNAMIC THAN YOUR AVERAGE FOOD PROCESSOR. >> I SEE. >> THAT'S HOOKED UP TO AN OLD WET VAC HOSE. >> WET VAC HOSE, THAT'S GOOD. >> THAT IS CONNECTED TO THE PREGRINDING BIN. >> AND THIS IS WHERE THE ORGANIC MATERIAL GOES, LIKE LEAVES? GRASS CLIPPINGS, ORANGE PEELS. >> PULVERIZES. >> HOW SHOULD I PUT IT, WOULD THAT INCLUDE ANIMAL WASTE? >> YOU CAN PUT IT HOWEVER YOU WANT, IT'S ALL MAN

URE, I FIND THAT SHEEP IS THE BEST, IT'S VERY HIGH OCTANE AND IT ALSO COMES IN CONVENIENTLY SIZED PALLETS. >> I THINK MY VIEWERS CAN VISUALIZE THAT. WHAT KIND OF GAS MILEAGE OR WASTE MILEAGE DO YOU GET IN THIS THING? >> WELL, I'LL TELL YOU, ABOUT TWO YEARS AGO, I HOOKED THE PROTOTYPE FOR THIS UP TO MY '68 CHRYSLER NEWPORT WITH ONE WITH THE 383. >> THAT'S THE ENGINE, YEAH. GREAT ENGINE, YEAH. >> AND I MADE IT ALL THE WAY FROM MINNEAPOLIS TO DULUTH ON ROAD KILL. >> ROAD KILL. YOU RAN THAT FAR ON D

EAD ANIMALS. >> NO, NO, I DIDN'T SAY THAT. I DIDN'T CHECK THEIR PULSE OR ANYTHING. BUT THEY MADE NO EFFORT TO ESCAPE FROM THE PREGRINDING BIN THAT I WAS AWARE OF. >> I'M SURE OUR VIEWERS WILL BE RELIEVED TO HEAR THAT. I AM. COULD WE MOVE ON TO SOMETHING ELSE HERE? I'D LIKE TO KNOW, MAYBE OUR VIEWERS WOULD LIKE TO KNOW, WHAT THE MAIN ADVANTAGE WOULD BE OF THE COMPOSTAL CARB, ASIDE FROM SAVING MONEY ON GAS PRICES. >> WELL, YOU WON'T HAVE ANY PROBLEM WITH TAILGATERS. >> I GET THE DRIFT, BOB. WELL,

I'M SURE YOU'VE GOT PLACES TO GO AND THINGS TO DO. YOU DON'T? WELL, THAT'S FINE WITH ME. STICK AROUND. WE'LL SHOOT THE BULL AFTERWARDS. BOB HUMDY OF BOB HUMDY, IF YOU'RE INTERESTED IN ONE OF THESE COMPOSTAL CARBS, GIVE HIM A RING, HE'LL APPRECIATE IT AND SO WILL WE. >> MOST IMPORTANT THING TO REMEMBER ABOUT THE MINNESOTA LONG GOOD-BYE IS TO START EARLY. HOURS BEFORE YOU CLIMB IN THE CAR AND DRIVE DOWN THE ROAD TOWARD HOME. THE PREPARATORY STATEMENT SHOULD BE DIRECTED AT YOUR SPOUSE OR YOURSELF I

F YOU'RE ALONE. IN THE INITIAL DEPARTURE STAGE, NEVER SPEAK DIRECTLY TO THE HOST. >> WELL, BARB, WE REALLY OUGHT TO GO. >> YOU BET, HONEY, IT'S ABOUT THAT TIME. >> YOU JUST GOT HERE. STAY A WHILE. >> DID WE DO SOMETHING WRONG? >> NO. >> YOU'LL BE OFFERED ANOTHER CUP OF COFFEE AND A COUPLE OF BARS. GO AHEAD AND EAT. LET YOUR FOOD SETTLE. AND THEN MAKE A HALF-HEARTED LUNGE FROM YOUR SEAT. AT THIS POINT, YOU MAY SPEAK DIRECTLY TO YOUR HOST. >> WELL, IT'S PAST OUR BEDTIME. WE REALLY GOTTA GO. >> ARE

YOU KIDDING? THE NEWS JUST STARTED. >> WATCH THE 10:00 NEWS AND THE WEATHER FORECAST. >> PLENTY OF SUNSHINE FOR TODAY. SEASONAL TEMPERATURES. >> THIS IS IT. WE NEED TO BE ON OUR WAY. >> WHY DON'T YOU JUST STAY OVERNIGHT. I HATE TO SEE YOU OUT ON THE ROAD THIS LATE. WE HAVE PLENTY OF ROOM AND YOU CAN LEAVE RIGHT AWAY IN THE MORNING AFTER BREAKFAST. >> NO, WE COULDN'T DO THAT. >> THERE'S A DOUBLE BED IN THE AT PARTICULAR, NOBODY IS USING. >> YOU'D HAVE MORE SHEETS TO WASH. >> YOU'D BE FRESHER IN

THE MORNING. ATTIC. >> SINCE YOU'LL BE STAYING THE NIGHT, YOU MIGHT AS WELL HAVE ANOTHER SANDWICH AND WATCH JOHNNY CARSON. >> THE NEXT DAY AFTER BREAKFAST, THE GOOD-BYE PROCESS CONTINUES. THE COATS ARE STILL IN THE CLOSET AND THE GUESTS ARE STILL ON THE COUCH. >> I THINK WE BETTER HEAD OUT NOW THEN. >> WHAT'S THE HURRY? YOU'RE NOT GONNA GET OUT OF HERE UNLESS YOU HAVE A LITTLE LUNCH. >> THE NEXT STAGE IS A LONG -- OF THE LONG GOOD-BYE TAKES PLACE NEAR THE DOOR. THE GUESTS HAVE THEIR COATS ON AND

THE HOSTS WILL SOON FOLLOW THEM RIGHT OUT TO THE CAR. >> OKAY. WE'RE LEAVIN' NOW. THIS IS IT. >> I STILL SAY YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO -- >> HERE ARE A COUPLE OF -- FROM THE GARDEN. >> SOME OF THAT NORWEGIAN TACO SALAD THAT GWEN BROUGHT OVER A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO BUT I'M SURE IT'S JUST FINE. >> GIVE THEM SOME OF THE GLORIFIED RICE, TOO, WE'VE GOT A TON OF IT. >> WE'VE GOT PLENTY ALREADY. DON'T GIVE US ANY MORE OF YOUR FOOD. >> DON'T WORRY. YOU'LL BE DOING US A FAVOR. >> NOW ENTER STAGE THREE, WHICH

TAKES PLACE JUST OUTSIDE THE HOUSE. YOUR HOSTS WILL FOLLOW YOU TO THE CAR. >> WELL, DO YOU HAVE EVERYTHING THEN? >> YEAH, I THINK SO. WE'LL GET IT NEXT TIME IF WE DON'T. >> OKAY. >> DON'T YOU THINK THIS TIRE LOOKS A LITTLE LOW, BOB? I DON'T KNOW IF I'D DRIVE WITH A TIRE LIKE THAT. >> THE FINALE OF THE LONG GOOD-BYE, THE DEPARTEES ARE IN THE CAR AND THE HOSTS ARE AT OPPOSITE WINDOWS BENT OVER. THE MOTOR IS RUNNING. >> NEVER HAD ANY TROUBLE WITH IT. SMOOTH RIDE AND ALL THAT. >> YEAH. THANKS FOR EV

ERYTHING. >> NO PROBLEM. >> HEY, BOB, YOU HEAR THAT? WHAT'S THAT TICKING NOISE? >> OKAY. >> YEAH, COULD BE A BEARING. SURE YOU WOULDN'T WANT COULD COME -- TO COME IN THE HOUSE. IT MIGHT BE A ROD BEARING. IT COULD GO ANY TIME. >> NO, WE'RE OFF. NOT STOPPING FOR ANYTHING. >> OKAY. >> TAKE IT EASY, YOU GUYS. >> ALL RIGHT. WE'LL SEE YOU. BYE. >> AS YOU PULL AWAY, YOUR HOSTS WILL WAVE. YOU SHOULD WAVE BACK. AND CONTINUE TO WAVE UNTIL YOU CAN NO LONGER SEE EACH OTHER. A COUPLE OF TOOTS ON THE HORN ARE

OPTIONAL. BUT ALWAYS IN GOOD TASTE AND APPRECIATED. >> I MISS 'EM ALREADY. THAT OLD GREEN MERC, TOO. I HOPE THEY COME BACK SOON. WELL, THIS IS THE WAY IT ENDS, FOLKS. IF YOU MOVE TO MINNESOTA, OR JUST VISIT, I HOPE THIS VIDEO CAN HELP YOU OVER THE ROUGH TIMES UNTIL YOU'RE COMFORTABLE WITH BEING ONE OF US FOR A WHILE. IF IT'S ANY CONSOLATION TO YOU, SOMETIMES WE'RE NOT COMFORTABLE WITH BEING ONE OF US. BUT WE COULD DO A LOT WORSE. AND SO COULD YOU. WHATEVER. >> Announcer: HOW TO TALK MINNESOTAN

IS MADE POSSIBLE IN PART BY A GRANT FROM THE DAYTON HUDSON FOUNDATION, ON BEHALF OF DAYTON'S AND TARGET STORES. >> Announcer: THIS PROGRAM WAS PRODUCED BY KTCA, A MINNESOTA ORIGINAL.