next comedian so funny ha from upstate New York you're going to love him P hands out right now and welcome Gabriel R all right hello how we doing yeah what a lovely crowd of people here tonight that I personally know far too many of to be comfortable right now so that is amazing yeah I see some confused faces up front the gears are turning I'm going to go ahead and stop you yes you did find Waldo congratulations you can clap it up for yourselves if you want you don't have to though of course you
know uh I know we have a Zoomer in the audience so I'm going to go explain what Waldo is now um it's a he's a character from a series of books that are basically like I spy a white guy um just this innocuous Globe trotting fella uh he's always smiling and he's always wearing the same clothes because there's not a lot of time to change when you're on the run from the law yeah why do you think we got to find this guy he did something I don't know what exactly but he did something I have a hunch y
ou ever wonder where in the world Carmen San Diego is yeah okay uh yeah so uh another uh killer I've been told I resemble is Jeffrey dmer yeah I'm serious yeah uh a stranger at a bar told me that one a complete stranger yeah I no I couldn't believe it yeah I was still thinking about it when I was chopping him up in the woods sler I know uh no I haven't I haven't killed anybody yet uh I firmly reject any comparisons to Jeffrey dmer to be clear you know I'm 50% Swedish he was part Norwegian we are
not the same okay um I I don't feel like I'm a particularly good swed though you know um I don't feel like I'm particularly connected to my culture these days uh I think that's mostly because I'm too big for the ball pitted Ikea yeah they don't like when I swim in the meatballs uh no but I'm an adult now so I have to connect in adult ways right like I don't know politics I mean I looked it's a mess over there I know we think we have it bad in the United States I know but it is also a mess over
there and I consider myself to be a progressive person but I got to say it Swedish Fish Whoever thought it was a good good idea to give all these fish a path to citizenship and they're mostly Canadian America's Norway messed up thank you thank you um yeah uh I was almost in a CT once almost almost yeah a friend of mine uh was seeing or he he just met this girl actually and he invited her on a date and she replied by saying oh we can go to this class that I'm going to and he seeing the warning si
gns in that of course invited me uh because I used to work at an escape room and if you're not following the logic there uh when you're horny enough to risk your safety by potentially engaging with a cult at least delegate your escape plan to someone someone you trust so so we get to this place and I I immediately clocked it it was a legitimate cult because I looked up and I saw the sign Soul cycle yeah who names their gym like they a setting on God's washing machine okay very suspicious and we
go in it's supposed to be a cycling class you know so I'm there I'm on the bike doing my thing cycling like you know how you normally do but the people around me are having a religious experience you know they're pulsing back and forth throwing in some sways like we're all connected to the tree from Avatar trying to turn the instructor into a big blue alien I don't know and I'm doing it with him at this point because I don't want the Children of the Corn to detect that I'm not one of the flock r
ight and I do this I'm going I'm going maybe you know 15 minutes generously and I realized I got to throw up so I give my friend the signal and uncp from the torture device and waddle my way to the door because I'm wearing cycling shoes um throw the door open the light streams in everybody turns close the door waddle my way to the bathroom as fast as I can make it to a stall just in time to kneel down and unload my sins to the porcelain pulpit and while I'm here maybe you know two three minutes
okay back up uh eventually one of the staff comes to check on me knocks on the door and he's like hey you okay in there I'm like yeah yeah I'm good thanks man this I'm sorry this must happen a lot he's like no you're the first I've seen it's cool awesome and then he says to me and I'll never forget this hey this is it's kind of crazy but you look a lot like Jeffrey dmer thank you very much my name has been Gabriel rush you guys been excellent thank you Gabriel Rush
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