-Jerry Seinfeld.
-You know what would be... You know what would be my dream
in show business of one thing? Because now I've done a movie.
I've done a lot of stuff. -Yeah.
-But if the one thing -- If I could do one thing,
do you know what it would be? -No.
-One Sam Rockwell entrance. -He makes a great entrance.
-He makes the greatest entrance. I watched those videos
over and over. Do you ever watch just
a supercut of Sam Rockwell entrances? You got to do it. -He comes out,
he does James Brown. -Y
eah.
-He does everything. And he's always game. Yeah, would you --
Maybe next time? No, you would never do that.
-I can't do it. He's got a thing
with his feet and his body. He's got a cute little body,
and it's... And it's like a marionette body
that -- it's suspended. -And he floats and he spins.
-And the feet are, you know... -Yeah, he's fantastic.
He's great. -Yeah, he's fantastic. -Are you a dancer or do you --
-No. -No.
-I used to be. A younger man,
I used to like dancing. -Yeah. Do your k
ids say,
"Dad, no" or they don't care? -No. No.
-They're fine. -It's fine.
-Your kids like you. -Do my kids like me?
-No, I said -- No. No, I said the opposite.
It was a statement. I said, "Your kids like you."
I know your kids. -Yeah, you do.
-Yeah. And they actually like dad. [ Laughter ] Sometimes, the kids --
they don't like the parents. -Well, if hat was the case,
I wouldn't bring it up. You know. Let's slide to
the next question. If these kids hate their father,
let's not talk about that.
-No, that's true. Yeah.
-Yeah. -Have you had a chance
to be with them recently? -Be with my kids?
Yes, I have many chances. Many, many chances
to be with the kids. -They must enjoy it. -Oh, they enjoy it.
Because they like me. -Exactly right.
That's exactly the point. -I love -- I always talk
about being a parent. People talk about
quality time. I like to talk
about garbage time. That's what's really fun
with your kids -- garbage time. -So this is the secret.
-Yeah. Bowl of cereal
at 11:00 at ni
ght. That's garbage time.
-Oh, yeah. -That's the best.
-That's fun. -So that's what I like. What I don't like --
vacationing, family vacationing. I hate it. I hate going.
My wife hates going with me. The kids hate going. I still go,
because what is the difference of doing one more thing
I don't like on top of
not liking anything anyway? -What don't you like
about a vacation? -Everything. But it doesn't matter,
because when I do something I don't like,
it doesn't bother me. I am a --
That's all I
'm used to. I am a very happy person hating everything
throughout my entire life. That's how I would
describe myself. [ Cheers and applause ] And my wife -- she --
You know, it's tough on her. She gets upset
when I have a bad time. I don't. I don't.
-You don't. -No. I knew it was
going to suck. -You knew it. -And then I'm going to
complain about it, which is something I do enjoy. That's what I love. -You like complaining --
-I love complaining. My entire act is me complaining. I try and make it
entertaining,
but that's all it is, is me complaining. -What exactly -- things
don't you like about it? -Name something on a va-- -The --
-Jet Ski. Okay. Whoo! [ Laughter ] Don't you hate
when people do that? -Yeah.
-Whoo! The Jet Ski --
you don't go anywhere on it. What is it? It is an amazing jet-propulsion
device to go nowhere. You go nowhere. Wherever you get on a Jet Ski,
that's your final destination. That's where you're going
25 minutes later. Thousands of miles to travel. -You go there.
And you end up there. -What do you do?
You travel thousands of miles. You spend thousands of dollars
on this trip. So instead of just having
a conversation with your friend, you get to talk
to them like this. -Yeah. You do -- Yeah. But do you get --
-Whoo! -Do you get to turn off
your brain for a second? Do you get off your phone?
Do you just relax? -No. No, I don't. Somebody called me
the other day. Cellphone call drops. Friend calls back, says, "I don't know
what happened there." You know, how
people do that? "I don't know
what happened there." Yeah, no one was hoping
or expecting that maybe you could explain
a random micro-glitch in an infinitely complex global
telecommunications network. Just call back and go,
"You were saying." That's all. -"I don't know
what happened there," yeah. -Yeah. "I don't know what
happened there." Like I'm going to go,
"What do you mean you don't know what happened? You were on the call. You heard us get cut off, and now you claim to know
nothing about i
t. I think you know exactly
what happened there. Who are you covering up for?
T-Mobile? What's the 'T' stand for?
Thievery? Treachery?" -You look fantastic, by the way.
You look good. -Thank you. Thank you very much. I just had a check-up, and -- [ Laughter ]
-Good. -There's nothing
funny about that. I appreciate you supporting,
but that is really a setup line. I just had a check-up.
-Yeah. -But whenever a comedian
says he just had a checkup, the joke's coming, right? -Yeah. Yeah,
there better b
e, yeah. -Yeah, we know. So, I got the check-up and I had
just come out with a book. That was nice of you
to mention that I -- I've done some books, and I
just did a book about comedy, my life in comedy. -"Is This Anything?"
-"Is This Anything?" And my doctor said to me,
"I enjoyed your book." I said, "Well, thank you." And then, the next thing I know,
I hear the snap of the glove and the rubber glove and the
pants down, the finger thing, and I go, "Wow, look at me. Acclaimed and ashamed
in the
same moment." -Two seconds.
"Thank you very much." -Which could be the title
of my next book. -"Acclaimed and Ashamed."
-"Acclaimed and Ashamed: The Story of
How Far You Have To Go Sometimes Just to Get
a Compliment." So, as I'm leaving, she says, "Would you mind
signing my copy?" And I always tell her
what a great doctor she is. And she asked me
to sign the book, and I go,
"I've got a better idea. Why don't you
shove it up your ass so that you can find out,
like I did, what it's like to be
vali
dated and violated in the same moment." Yeah, yeah, at the same time. -But I haven't
been out with you in a while, but I know every time I go out,
you're a foodie. You actually are --
-I eat food, yeah. -Yeah. You're --
But you have good taste. Have you tried --
-I think I do. -Tried anything new? -You know what I had that
I never had before last summer was a seedless watermelon. Did you even know there's such a
thing as a seedless watermelon? -Yeah, of course. Yeah.
-You did? -It's great.
-It's
great. I had this thing. Did you know about this?
-Yeah! -We're eating this thing.
I don't know. It was some freak mutant melon.
I don't know how it could be. And we said, "This is great.
We have to get more of these. How do we get more of these?" And that we could
not figure out. What do you plant to grow
more seedless watermelons? What do you plant? [ Applause ] -This is what I love about you.
This is what I love about you. You come on this show.
I go, "What are you up to?" You go, "I'm going
to work
on this movie. I'm going to work on it
right now. It's called 'Unfrosted.'" -"Unfrosted."
-"Unfrosted." You wrote it, you directed it,
you star in it. It is about the invention
of Pop-Tarts. -Right.
-This is what you said to me. -He's not making this up.
-This is what you said. And I go, "Really? This is it?" But then I go, "Why Pop-Tarts? What is this thing,
'Unfrosted'?" And you go, it was just a joke
that you had in your act. -It was a joke,
and my friend Spike Feresten, who was one
of the writers
from my series -- Do you remember
the episode "The Soup Nazi"? [ Cheers and applause ]
Okay. He wrote that episode. And he said --
So, we were in the COVID thing. He says -- We would joke about we should make
the Pop-Tart story a movie. And, you know, you go,
"Yeah, yeah, sure," you know. And, so,
we're in the COVID thing. He says, "Let's write
that Pop-Tart movie." I go, "It's not a movie. I don't know --
Where is the movie?" -Yeah. -But, you know, we were all --
you remember --
doing nothing. So got another couple guys
from the series, set up the Zoom,
started writing. The next thing we knew,
it was a script, and then it became a movie. And we just finished it
like a month ago, and it's coming out now. It's coming out.
-Yeah, and it's -- [ Cheers and applause ] It's joke, joke, joke, joke.
-It's all jokes. -It's so many jokes.
It's really funny. But it's about, like,
a competing company coming -- Who's gonna do it first? -Well, here's the truth of it.
The movie is comp
letely insane. -Yeah. -But the true story is, Post,
the other big cereal company in Battle Creek --
they did come up with this idea, and Kellogg's heard about it
like three months before it was going
to hit the shelf. And they go, "Oh, my God! We have to have
a competing product." So, they were -- It was, like --
And that's when Andy Robin, one of our other writers,
said, "Why don't we tell this story like
'The Right Stuff.'" Remember "The Right Stuff"? Which was U.S. versus Russia to who could
put
a man on the moon first. So that is how we tell
the story of the Pop-Tart. -Who can make
the Pop-Tart first? -Who can make the Pop-Tart
is the same as who can land on the moon first? -But is this, like, you know,
"Barbie," where, like, Mattel -- -No. No. No, not like "Barbie." Because "Barbie"
was made by Mattel. -Yes. -Kellogg's did not even know
we were doing this. They had no idea.
We took all their products. We took all their characters. Snap, Crackle, and Pop
are in the movie. Tony the
Tiger's in the movie.
-Yeah, Tony the Tiger. -Toucan Sam. Every -- We took everything. -And didn't ask. -I didn't know
that we had to ask. -Are you in... -There could be
some serious legal exposure. -Yeah, there could be. Wow. -But if I were to be hauled
into court on Pop-Tart charges, that would make my life. -Yeah, you would love that.
-Yes, I would love that. -I think they would love it. Because I know the bit
and I also know through you, you love Pop-Tarts. -I do. I really do love them.
-You
are obsessed with them. And you said --
Because I once asked you about the Pop-Tart joke,
and you go, "I wanted to write
the best joke about Pop-Tarts, because I love --
I grew up on Pop-Tarts." -I grew up on it,
because it's the first thing you can make hot
when you're a kid. You know, you could make it,
and it's like cooking. It's like, "Wow, there's heat,
and I made it." -Yeah. -And so I wanted to write
the greatest Pop-Tart bit so that no other comedian
would ever talk about Pop-Tarts. That
was my goal.
-Yeah. And the joke was --
You go into, like, your mom was
making you dinner. You go, "Mom, don't you get it?
This is the future." -There's Pop-Tarts now.
We don't need your food. -Anything.
-Yeah. Right. -And then you had a joke --
You go -- -They can't go stale
because they were never fresh. -They're never fresh.
-Yeah. -But Tony the Tiger --
let me go back to this, because it's a great cast. Amy Schumer, Melissa McCarthy. -Jim Gaffigan.
-Jim Gaffigan is funny. There's a thousand
cameos.
It's joke a minute. It is so funny.
It's just well done. It's a great comedy. But hopefully
I'm not spoiling it, and hopefully you don't care,
but playing Tony the Tiger is Hugh Grant. -Hugh Grant.
-So, Hugh Grant -- -Yeah. -How did you get
Hugh Grant to do this? -He's very unhappy, because the
character is Thurl Ravenscroft, which is the real name
of the guy who did the voice
of Tony the Tiger -- Thurl Ravenscroft.
-Great name. -And so I imagined this guy as
a frustrated Shakespearean
actor who has to play
this embarrassing character to make his car payments. -Yeah. -And that's -- And Hugh Grant
is perfect for that. -He has to say, "They're great!" -Yeah, "They're great!"
-Yeah. -So, I did not think of, really,
Hugh Grant for the part. And I love Hugh Grant so much. But he called us and he said, "I want to be in
the Pop-Tart movie." And I have --
So, I got the script and I auditioned on my phone. So he did an audition
on his phone. With a glass of wine in
the other hand, by t
he way. And, you know, like I care
what the audition was. I go, "Yeah, you're
Tony the Tiger, sure." -Yeah.
-Yeah. And I love him. I love him.
-He destroys in this movie. -He's so funny.
And we had lots of fights. -Yeah.
-We had lots of fights. He's a pain in the ass
to work with. -Yeah.
-He's horrible. -Notoriously, but he says that
before he comes. -He tells you,
before you work with him, "You're going to hate this." And he's so right. -He does that when
he comes on the show. He goes,
"I don't
like doing this." -Yeah, he's horrible.
-He's so funny. -But one night,
he and I had dinner together and that was
the best night of the -- We shot for 10 weeks. And that night
that he and I had dinner -- And we got drunk having dinner.
-Really? -That was the greatest night. Yeah, because he's so cool
and he's that English thing, you know, that witty. He looks good in a jacket. And the waiter --
he just does a little gesture. The waiter races over. You know,
he's one of those guys. -Yeah. He sen
t you a text today,
and you showed me. And so we actually
got a screen grab of it. -Yeah, this is a real text
I got today from Hugh Grant. -From Hugh Grant. It says...
-"I just watched the film." To my great surprise,
I liked it. Laughed out loud.
All actors were good. Even you."
Me. "From Hugh Grant." -I loved it.
I laughed the whole way through. As a little nod,
your character goes on "Johnny Carson" at one point, which I didn't even know
how you did that. How did you do that? -We took -- We r
ebuilt
this exact stage from the old Johnny Carson
New York "Tonight Show." -Which was here.
-Which was right here. -In this studio.
-In this studio. And Kyle Dunnigan does
a great impression of Carson, and then we face-replaced him. So, here's me on
"The Tonight Show" in 1963. -This is wild.
-So, that's Kyle Dunnigan. Now, you can't tell
it's not Carson. So, there I am on
"The Tonight Show" in 1963. -With the Pop-Tart.
-Yeah. -Yeah, which is great.
I loved it. I think Johnny
would have loved it
. So, I knew you're coming on.
I can't wait. This was about a month ago. I get a phone call from you.
-Right. -And you go, "Jimmy,
I did the movie, 'Unfrosted.' It came out great. And I still think --
You know, the edit's done, but I still think there's room to get Jimmy Fallon
in this movie." -Yes, there was a way to get
Jimmy Fallon in the movie, even though it was locked. [ Cheers and applause ] -So I go, "I'm ready.
I'm ready to act." -Yeah. -And you go,
"I don't want you to act. I don't wan
t you to act.
I want you to sing. I want you to sing a song." -Sing the song, Jimmy!
-"You sing. Exactly." You wrote a song.
-I wrote a song. -And Mark Ronson -- -Mark Ronson wrote the music.
I wrote the lyrics. -Andrew Wyatt and Mark --
So, Mark Ronson, who just did
the "Barbie" soundtrack. -That's right.
He did "I'm Just Ken." -So, you wrote the lyrics. It's called --
It's about Pop-Tarts. It's called
"Sweet Morning Heat." -Yeah. -So, some of the lyrics are, "Please give me
that sweet morning
heat every single day of the week. You've got all the lovin'
that I need. Give me that
sweet morning heat." -It's a love song.
It's a love song. -You sent me the thing
and you go, "Anyone you think -- If you want
to do it by yourself, you want a duet?" I go, "I just worked
with Meghan Trainor. She was the best.
Maybe she would want to do it." -Love Meghan Trainor.
-And so I called -- I texted Meghan Trainor,
and she was like, "I'm in. Let's do it." I go, "We're doing
the Pop-Tart song?" So we di
d "Sweet Morning Heat." -As a duet.
-As a duet. -Jimmy Fallon
and Meghan Trainor together. -I want to play it for you
tonight just a little bit so you can hear it.
-Play a little bit. -Just a little.
[ Cheers and applause ] Alright, ready? So, again, it starts with,
"Please give me that sweet --" Here we go. -♪ Please ♪ ♪ Give me that
sweet morning heat ♪ ♪ Every single day of the week ♪ ♪ You've got all
the lovin' I need ♪ ♪ Give me that sweet morning ♪ ♪ Give me that sweet morning ♪ ♪ Give me
that sweet morning ♪ ♪ Heat ♪ ♪♪
[ Cheers and applause ] ♪ Heat ♪
-I mean... ♪ I used to eat you
anytime of the day ♪ That's what I'm talking about.
It's a bop. It's a bop. It's so good,
and I'm honored to be on it. [ Cheers and applause ] So, when it comes out,
call your local radio stations and request
"Sweet Morning Heat," please. I'm honored.
I can't even tell you. It was the most fun thing ever
to be involved in this and with the movie. -Thank you.
Well, you did a great job. Thank you for d
oing it.
What else do we have for our... -Well, we have an exclusive
sneak peek at the trailer for "Unfrosted." -May 30th, it comes out.
-Here we go. Watch. -The Post Cereal Company
has reportedly invented a shelf-stable
fruit-pastry breakfast product. -No.
-Yeah. -Boy.
-How do you think Post did it? -There's always a surprise
inside the box. -I wonder if they used
xanthan gum. -Xanthan!
-♪ Rebel, rebel ♪ -Kellogg's is entering
the race to reinvent breakfast. -They're stacking the deck
with ring
ers. -You Kellogg's people. -Are you making progress?
-It's not to scale. -What are you guys? 5 years old? Little John-John
draws better than that, and I think there's
something wrong with him. -♪ You've torn your dress ♪ ♪ Your face is a mess ♪
-Mmm! -Whoever gets to the shelves
first is gonna win this thing. -♪ Rebel, rebel ♪ -Isn't this a cereal company?
Why did my husband explode?! -♪ Rebel, rebel ♪ -Come on, now!
That's what I'm talking about! Jerry Seinfeld, everybody. "Unfrosted"
is on Ne
tflix May 3rd. We'll be right back with more
"Tonight Show." Come on back.
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