Jon Stewart on Trump’s “Victimless” Fraud & Jordan Klepper on Trump's Bible Grift | The Daily Show

[Music] you know let's let's take a step back what did Trump actually do to earn this penalty well it turns out that for a decade whenever Trump wanted to get a loan or make a deal he would illegally inflate the value of his real estate for instance suggesting that his 11,000 foot Penthouse was a 30,000 foot Penthouse I guess somehow including the sky in the calculation we all do it I mean in my license I'm not listed as 5'7 you know um I'm listed as 30,000 square [Laughter] ft and the that's th

ank you and the Attorney General of New York knew that Trump's property values were inflated because when it came time to pay taxes Trump undervalued the very same properties it was all part of a very sophisticated real estate practice known as lying so the judge calculated that the value that he gained from the lying with interest was around $454 million now you might be saying to yourself well that sounds pretty straightforward whatever gains you got from lying you have to pay back well that's

because you're aing idiot no if you knew anything about business if you in an NBA you'd know idiot you're talking about a victimless crime they find an ordinance or a law that has never been used ever before in anyone else he's committed bank fraud where there's no victim it makes no it makes no sense no victims there was no victim the ruling is blatantly unfair that didn't go over very well with the investment Community because we're all asking each other who's next Who's Next the persecuted m

inority of the investment Community First first they came first they came for the arbitragers and I said nothing for I was not an arbitrager and then they came for the quants which I could be I don't know what a Quant is but I am surprised to hear this from Kevin O A guy who's such an wait that even the other people on Shark Tank thinks he's an now he's very chill I'm surprised to hear that he's so chill about overvaluing something that he thinks is victimless because when someone tries to do th

at to him which one of you do I absolutely tear to pieces now on a $28 million valuation you think this is worth $10 million absolutely okay now I'm going to rip your pieces are you out of your mind your valuation is insane your valuation is crazy I think that's a crazy valuation I think your valuation is stinky poo [Applause] poo oh no no you didn't God Canadians are so vulgar how is he not this mad about overvaluations in the real world because they are not victimless crimes first the banks go

t paid back at lower interest rates although to be honest who gives a but second money isn't infinite a loan that goes to the liar doesn't go to someone who's giving a more honest evaluation so the system becomes incentivized for corruption and this is part of a different Trump fraud case but avoiding taxes hurts all of us Donald Trump Shenanigans cost the city of New York and to be honest and let's be frank here that is money that the city of New York could have used to build more Walgreens now

some blocks only have two of them leave it to Kevin oy to be unaware enough to say the quiet part out loud I hear about the the so-called victim's crimes but the laws on the books falsification of business records and second degree issuing false financial statements insurance fraud conspiracy and all these different aspects of it those are actual crimes I take it your point is that these should not have been prosecuted everything you just listed off is done by every real estate developer everyw

here on Earth in every city this has never ever been [Applause] prosecuted there is a theory and law that if enough people commit a crime it automatically becomes legal you're familiar with the purge are you not theing entitled arrogance I don't know if you know this but most people just can't commit fraud and expect to face no repercussions even if everyone's doing it try getting a car loan by saying you have 10 times as much money as you really do or claim 20 dependents when you have no childr

en or say you make slightly less money to qualify for food assistance I will guarantee you there are not just Financial consequences for those lies but criminal ones but don't tell that to the investment Community because in their minds in pursuit of profit there is no rule that cannot be bent there is no principle that cannot be undercut as long as you and your friends making money and the only immoral practice hold on I'm not done if I could wait if I could raise my chair up I would apparently

the only immoral practice in the capitalist system is to use that money for people who may need it fraud Wass and abuse people never want to be honest about but a lot of these parents will you know they abuse system a lot of them are encouraged to abuse the system where do you think the money that you get for food stamps and other things come where do who do you think pays that money your Healthcare you're taking their money and you just don't seem to care the guy who walks out of the store wit

h a bag of food is he entitled to it because food is a necessity and he doesn't have enough of it you nutrition needing mother bringing our system to its knees stealing is only Justified when you already have have too much ultimately whether or not Trump is a victim of selective prosecution it's going to be a matter for the Supreme Court to decide luckily that is an institution which still holds the trust of the American people because of its Integrity for years Justice Clarence Thomas has secre

tly accepted luxury gifts from a GOP Mega donor Haron Crow gifts like private jet flights luxury yacht cruises and according to the report the Supreme Court Justice never reported them on annual Financial disclosures victimless it's a victimless crime let's begin with the ongoing legal wo of America's defendant in Chief Donald Trump now Trump has just over a week to come up with $175 million bond in his real estate fraud case and if he can't get it from selling shares in his social media company

or borrowing from his billionaire friends or teaming up with Giuliani for a sexy Car Wash then and this latest very classy business venture just might do the trick I'm proud to be partnering with my very good friend Lee Greenwood who doesn't love his song God Bless the USA in connection with promoting the God Bless the USA Bible this Bible is the King James version and also includes our Founding Father documents yes the Constitution also the Bill of Rights the Declaration of Independence and th

e Pledge of Allegiance are all part of this all Americans need a Bible in their home and I have many it's my favorite book many many many how does that thing not burst into flames immediately huh yeah Trump is mashing together the Bible and the Constitution like it's a Pizza Hut Taco Bell and I know people will say that you're not supposed to mix the Bible and the Constitution but what you have to understand is Trump has never read either of them if we step back and look at this Trump getting in

to business with God can only mean one thing God is going to end up bankrupt and serving a three-month prison sentence for lying under oath I mean what's amazing about this is that Trump just made $5 billion on his new stock buddy you're not supposed to be doing this embarrassing grifter when you're that rich just start a private space company like a normal billionaire sociopath you don't see Elon Musk selling his farts in jars to perverts do you no no maybe maybe I I haven't looked into it pro

probably you do but you know Pro I bet if I I bet if I I bet yes he'd probably let's move on shall we let's move on to the big news of the day as we've all heard by now this morning a cargo ship leaving Baltimore crashed into the Francis Scott Key bridge collapsing the entire Bridge into the water now early indications suggest the crash was caused by a power failure on the ship but that's not going to stop America's professional fearmongers from blaming it on whatever is most convenient to them

the White House says there are no indications of Foul Play here uh of course we're all worried about a potential you know terrorist attack uh given the the the wide open border you know I'm no expert on what's going on on the Seas but all I would say is is that uh if you talk to Employers in America America they'll tell you that uh filling slots with employees who aren't drug adal is a very huge problems what are we doing to make sure that we have the best infrastructure in the world so that whe

n a ship passes by and clipse the bridge that it doesn't entirely collapse Alex Jones tweeting looks deliberate to me a Cyber attack is probable World War II has already started World War II has already started but I have do tickets this weekend what can I at least see it before I enlist in the war who who are we fighting exactly is it boats are we fighting the boats you know what doesn't matter I'll just start shooting we'll figure it out later you know media figures you are allowed to just say

we're waiting for more information right we don't need to fill every moment of uncertainty with it might be too early to speculate but can we prove that this wasn't P Diddy's getaway barge stay tuned and find out look of course America's infrastructure is in need of updating of course but I don't think this is the proof Falling Down is kind of what you expect a bridge to do when a giant cargo ship slams into it if your grandma gets body slammed by The Rock you're not going to blame her broken b

ones on a Calcium deficiency you're going to blame it on her not bringing her aame to the rock you got to Step It Up N got to step it up come on yes finally finally finally in some social media news if you're a pre-teen in Florida watching clips of this show on Tik Tok you're about to be in a world of trouble we turn out to a social media showdown in Florida Governor Ronda santz signing a bill Banning children under 14 from having their own social media accounts if this law holds Florida will ha

ve one of the most restrictive social media banss in the country the new measure bars social media accounts for children under the age of 14 and requires parental consent for 15 and 16year olds it also mandates that social media platforms search for and remove the profiles of kids who don't meet the age requirement this makes me so mad this Ronda santis might have done something I agree with [Applause] I mean what what does it say about me I don't know what this says about me I do think maybe th

is law isn't a bad idea I think we can all agree that social media is a nightmare for kids it increases their risk of depression it exposes them to Predators it harms concentration it gives you a wildly unrealistic expectation of how easy it is to prepare meals just throw in the potato some scallion some boiling water a couple of fast ttits voila beautiful dinner and your entire family loves you you're a great father no it's not that easy it turns out there's a lot of prep work the videos don't

show you that they got to blanch the onions then you got to Julian the carrots now it's 10 p.m. your kids are starving they hate you why am I supposed to be doing all the cooking anyway I was at work all day I'm not a failure I'm a TV godamn it hypothetically the point is if Florida teenagers are kicked off of their phones maybe they can focus on all the quintessential experiences of being a teen in Florida things like wrestling a gator at prom or going to the library and reading the four books

that are still legal to read or trying to avoid Matt Gates on your walk home from school you know classic Florida te honestly I wish Ronda santis had run on this when he was a presidential candidate this this is a much better message than it's platform of wearing high heels and smiling like a demon in a horror movie there's always 2028 Ron Ron McDaniel lasted just five days at NBC Which is less screen time than dead bodies on Law and Order get this is sad for raana but also I don't really give a

there's a lot more important things to worry about I mean P Diddy is on the loose he can be anywh you know but the Ron McDaniel situation does point to a larger question In America which is what should happen with the people who did January 6 you may remember back when January 6th happened there wasn't much of a question about this at all everyone who was not wearing horns agreed the people who did this had to be punished for it even the guy who they were wearing the horns for agreed that there

had to be consequences for their violent actions like all Americans I am outraged by the violence Lawless and Mayhem America is and must always be a nation of Law and Order the demonstrators who infiltrated the capital have defiled the seat of American democracy to those who engaged in the acts of violence and destruction you do not represent our country and to those who broke the law you will pay you hear that people who broke the law you're going to pay for that so says the person who told yo

u to break the law it's a bit like Tim Cook coming out and being like who are these people wearing the Vision Pro you look like idiots okay so basically everyone agreed January 6 Bad And Justice needed to play out and the good news is Justice did play out the fake electors were charged Trump's lawyers are being disbarred hundreds of riers were arrested and put in jail and it still continuing today just in the past couple weeks a man was charged for firing a gun during the riots and a geophysicis

t who stormed the capital was sentenced to 5 years in prison so if you ever thought you weren't smarter than a geophysicist good news good news and you know what if you don't mind if you don't I might indulge to that geophysicist good luck using the Seck fluvial sequence analyze Remnant magnetization now you locked up [Applause] been pent up for a long time as the wheels of Justice turned and life moved on most people moved on to other things which makes sense other happened we had the rest of t

he pandemic there was inflation two famous people decided to date each other how could we focus on anything else we can be forgiven for moving on but Trump and the Maga movement didn't forget about January 6th in fact they've been rewriting and I have no problem saying that these January 6 defendants are being treated like political prisoners of war the doj is harassing harassing peaceful Patriots across the country they're not destroying the capital they obviously rever the capital they're ther

e because they believe the election was stolen from them they believe in the system convicted January 6 Ryder is free this morning and now they own an honorary American flag a gift from a Texas Republican Congressman Dr Simone gold was released from prison on Friday and Congressman Louie Gomer was there to present her with the flag you know I'm no history buff but she was in the she was the loser in a failed Insurrection if you if you're going to present her with the flag it probably should have

been this flag I think I think I think no one has reversed his position on the Trump mob as hard as Donald Trump himself he went from demanding that these criminals go to prison to promising that he's going to get these Heroes out of prison Trump called those now serving prison sentence as hostages and Patriots you see the spirit from the hostages and that's what they are as hostages suggesting he'd pardon them as soon as he gets back into office the first day we get into office we are going to

work with the people to treat those unbelievable Patriots and they were unbelievable Patriots and are release the j6 hostages Joe release them Joe you can do it real easy Joe you can do it Joe they're hostages Joe come on Joe I wouldn't call convicted criminals hostages although if Maga wants to treat them as hostages we can have a hostage exchange I'm happy to least them if they can give us the I don't know old Kanye back you know just just spitball in here but that's how far Trump is gone he'

s turning these January 6 riers into victims and Patriots and innocent choir boys I mean literally choir boys there is a group of January 6 riers in prison who have started a choir and they released a version of The Star Spangled Banner that Donald Trump features on and now Donald Trump's rallies begin like this ladies and Gentlemen please rise for the horribly and unfairly treated January 6 [Music] hostages that's a dramatic way to kick off an event at the next Super Bowl I want to hear ladies

and Gentlemen please rise for the horribly and unfairly treated Kelly Roland she's just as talented as Beyonce it's not her fault she wasn't as strategic with her career I mean look we can't normalize this do you remember when he wasted three months of Our Lives being mad at Colin Kaepernick for kneeling for the national anthem now he's saluting riers insurrectionists and even worse acapella singers and the didn't even take off his hat but that's where we are now and Rona McDaniel trying to get

a job at NBC is just the latest example of Jan Sixers trying to get back into the mainstream remember the guy with the horns the shaman guess what he's up to now he's been known by many names Jacob Chanley Jake Angeli and qanan Shaman among others but now Jacob Angelie Chanley hopes to be known by a new name Congressman as a congressman I will have a platform to highlight not just these problems but the the real solutions that we have to solve them real solutions what solutions could you possibl

y have social security is in trouble have you tried beating it with a flag pole here's the point this is not just a fight for how to remember the past the people who did January 6 are trying to get back in power if they lose they'll do January 6th again hell if they win they'll probably still do January 6th again just for time sake and the rest of us need to decide are we just going to let them are we going to draw the line at treason and tell them that in this country there is still Justice and

democracy and these are the values we not only stand behind we also salute [Music] them maybe we can get the the original version let's move on to one of the foundational principles of American democracy money the green was out today when President Joe Biden made history with the biggest one-day cash grab of all time the Biden campaign just announced that its blinged out fundraiser in New York tonight has already raised 25 million do the event will feature former presidents Barack Obama and Bil

l Clinton and a huge list of others they will be assembling more than 5,000 supporters at Radio City Music Hall for this uh first of its kind fundraiser one batch of supporters who will have a photo taken by famed photographer Annie Lebovitz of themselves and the three presidents wow Biden Obama and Clinton all in one show it's like Coachella for the kids who asked the teacher for more homework I mean this fundraiser is serious some people are spending $500,000 to be there and guys I'm sorry thi

s just feels gross $500,000 for access to a president I mean that's that's not how democracy should work save that money for Supreme Court Justice you know much better bang for your bus he's smart shout out for an RV and a jet ski and you're there I will say it must be a unique experience to have your picture taken with three presidents and it's not just any photographer it's Annie Lebovitz maybe the most famous photographer she did that one of Demi Moore pregnant and naked uh John lenon hugging

Yoko naked sting in the desert naked the point is you are going to have to be naked don't worry Bill Clinton is way ahead of you [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] so