-Good evening. I'm Seth Meyers. This is "Late Night."
We hope you're doing well. And now, if you don't mind,
we're gonna get to the news. President Biden attended
a fundraiser tonight at Radio City Music Hall that featured former presidents
Barack Obama and Bill Clinton and was hosted
by Stephen Colbert. Oh. [ Laughter ] Huh! So I guess an ice cream date
just means nothing to you? [ Laughter ] Well, I guess you know
which one of us you should call when
you need a ride to the airport. According t
o new analysis,
President Biden has drastically reduced his usage of the term
Bidenomics since last November. Probably a good idea, because nothing else
has been drastically reduced. [ Laughter ] The Biden administration
has adopted new race and ethnicity
standards for census forms and will add Middle Eastern
and North African as a category, while Trump's proposal
is a bit different. [ Laughter ] Former Trump campaign
manager Kellyanne Conway is reportedly considering
an offer to join the 2024 t
eam, though that could be a lie because it was reported
by Kellyanne Conway. [ Laughter ] According to a new survey, 35% of men said
that it is important for them to smell good during
their first sexual experience with a new partner,
while the other 65% were given a fake phone number. [ Laughter ] The Massachusetts State Police
have announced that their robot dog
was shot last month during a standoff on Cape Cod, which is also the sentence
Massachusetts parents use to teach their children
the ac
cent. [New England accent] A robot
dog was shot on Cape Cod. Again! A robot dog was shot
on Cape Cod! In a standoff with a schnauzer! [ Laughter ] [Normal voice] Today was
National Hot Tub Day, until the jets turn off, and then it's just Sitting
in a Bathtub With Strangers Day. [ Laughter ] Papa Johns has announced
it will offer new Crispy Cuppy 'Roni Papa Bites, perfect for anyone
who loves pepperoni and baby talk. [ Laughter ] Organizers of an annual
420 festival at Hippie Hill in San Francisc
o
announced this week that they have canceled
the event due to lack of funds. Well, you know, you could
always just tell them they went. [ Laughter ] "Ah, cool. Did I have fun?" A man in Idaho recently set
the Guinness World Record for fastest time to finish a
one-liter bottle of lemon juice, beating the previous record of, I'm guessing, 25 years. [ Laughter ] And finally,
according to a new survey, 76% of Americans believe that tipping culture
has gone too far, which, incidentally, is the new r
ecommended amount. [ Laughter ] And that was a monologue.
We're up and running, everybody. We have a fantastic show
for you tonight. Fantastic actor.
You know him from "Schindler's List,"
"Love Actually," and "Taken." His new film, "In the Land
of Saints and Sinners," is in theaters this weekend. Liam Neeson is on the show,
everybody. How about that?
[ Cheers and applause ] She is a nine-time
Grammy Award-winner and 2023 Rock & Roll
Hall of Fame inductee whose new album
"Evolution" is out tonigh
t. Sheryl Crow is back
on the show. We're going to chat.
She's going to perform for us. Very excited about
some upcoming shows, some standup shows. Friday, April 5th,
Royal Oak, Michigan. Saturday, April 6th, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Tickets are available
at sethmeyers.com. Moving on, everybody. Just as he's drowning
in legal bills and in desperate need of cash, Donald Trump's net worth
has unexpectedly soared after his failed social media
company went public, in what experts are
calling an u
nsustainable bubble that is divorced from
the reality of the business. For more on this,
it's time for "A Closer Look." [ Cheers and applause ] I don't need to tell you, Donald Trump needs cash
and he needs it ASAP. The guy's been hawking Bibles
on TV like he's trying to raise money
to go to Jesus camp. The New York Times reported
this week that he's spent more than
$100 million on legal fees. Now, I don't know what Trump's
current lawyers are doing with all that money, but I can guess what his
former lawyers would do with it, based on what they're
doing without it. Rudy Giuliani, who recently
declared bankruptcy and declared debts
totaling $500 million, posted a video of himself
this week behind the wheel of what I can only assume
is either a convertible or a car missing its roof, under the caption, "Driving
with the top down." Alright, I think I'm out on this
"Thelma and Louise" reboot. Knowing Rudy, he would
probably miss the cliff. By the way, driving with the top down
sounds like
a euphemism you'd use about Rudy Giuliani. "I dunno. I don't know
if you should hire that guy. Let's just say he's, uh,
driving with the top down." [ Laughter ] Also, who's holding
the camera in this video? Who in their right mind
would get in a car with the guy who mistook the Four Seasons
landscaping company for a luxury hotel? He probably thinks these
road signs are suggestions. [As Giuliani] Oh, you know
what that means. We gotta drive crazy now! Don't worry, the next sign says only Rudies a
llowed. [ Laughter ] [Normal voice] So, Trump
desperately needs money. Now, Trump has spent his
entire life wriggling his way out of seemingly
impossible jams. But surely, surely, there's no escape hatch for him
this time, right? -More breaking news tonight
involving Donald Trump. His media company, which
of course includes Truth Social, soaring in its first day
of trading on NASDAQ, surging 56% at one point
during trading to $78 a share before closing at $58. -Trump now owns 60%
of the new Trum
p Media company, or roughly $78 million
a share -- a stake that is,
on paper at this hour, worth $4.6 billion. -The higher the stock goes, the higher that
Donald Trump's net worth is. At yesterday's close, Trump's net worth,
according to Bloomberg, a little over $7 billion. It went up by $4 billion
on Monday alone. -That's right, Trump doubled
his net worth in one day after his otherwise worthless social media company
went public. This brings us to
a segment called... [ Laughing ] I mean, I don'
t... [ Laughing ]
I don't understand. So he doubles his net worth
out of nowhere... [ Laughing ] ...based on a worthless
business, just in time to... [ Laughing ] ...pay off the hundreds
of millions he owes in fines from lying
about the value of -- I just don't --
I don't get it! [ Laughter ] [ Laughing maniacally ] [ Scream-laughing ] This has been "Seth Tries
to Laugh About a Thing That is Clearly
Making Him Crazy." Now, you might be asking
yourself, "Donald Trump has
a media and technology co
mpany?" And the answer is no,
he doesn't. What he has is
a dumb Twitter ripoff for MAGA trolls called
Truth Social, where he posts insane,
typo-riddled, all-caps screeds. You may have seen one
of his posts when someone else screen-grabs
it and then puts it on Twitter. Truth Social has been
an abject failure, has lost millions of dollars,
and is hemorrhaging users. -Experts warn the stock is
extremely overvalued, saying its staggering
multi-billion dollar valuation is likely a flash in the pan. T
ruth Social has been
racking up huge losses, and as of last month, only had some 494,000
active monthly mobile users. -Truth Social is tiny. We're talking
about less than half a million monthly active users
on iOS and Android in the United States. For comparison, X, the company
formerly known as Twitter, it has 75 million users. Even Instagram's Threads is 10
times bigger than Truth Social. Not only that,
but Truth Social is shrinking. Monthly active users are down by 51% year-over-year
in Febru
ary. -Trump Media generated
just $3.4 million of revenue through the first nine months of
last year, according to filings. The company lost $49 million
over that time period. -The only way this business
could be any more of a failure is if every time
you opened an account, you got a free Zune,
a bottle of Crystal Pepsi, a Blockbuster card,
a Motorola flip phone that came preloaded
with a Myspace account, and a round-trip next to the door
on Alaska Airlines. So, just to recap,
not only is Truth S
ocial a tiny business that generated
only $3 million in revenue while losing $49 million,
it's also shrinking, with unique visitors down 20%
and active users down 51%. Its revenues are so small --
and this is true -- it actually qualifies
for the federal government's definition of a small business, which has revenue ranging from
$1 million to over $40 million. By comparison,
here's how much money Squatty Potty, the plastic step stool
you put your feet on while you go to the bathroom, made after
it went
on "Shark Tank." -Squatty Potty has partnered
with over 20 major retailers. We're also in 20 countries
all over the world. We've now done
$175 million in sales since "Shark Tank." -$175 million! For something
that helps you [bleep] Compared to Truth Social, which I guarantee
is something Trump does while he [bleep] Trump's stock market
windfall has nothing to do with the reality
of his business, and that's obvious to everyone. It's just a buying spree fueled
by Trump supporters and trade
rs capitalizing on the enthusiasm
of Trump supporters. I'm willing to bet most
of the people investing in this company have
never even used Truth Social. Here's an exchange
from Fox News, in which host Jesse Watters
claimed he used the site, but wouldn't prove it. -In the last nine months
of 2023, Truth Social generated
$3.4 million, and it lost $49 million
in that span. The valuation,
which is $11 billion. Compared to Reddit, right, something that
we've all been on, right? Their valuation
was $
6.4 billion. So, you think that a site that has less than
half a million users... I mean, this is what --
These are facts. -All these valuations
are ridiculous, Jessica. -Okay, then he's the Game--
It's like GameStop, right? It's a meme, no?
-Okay, you know what? -You know how you look at this?
-Well, it's actually not, because I'm using it.
-You look at this -- -Oh, you're on Truth Social?
-I'm on Truth Social. -Show it to me.
-I'm not having you look at my phone.
-Show me your phone. -[ Laught
er ]
-How dare you? -Why won't you show her
your phone?! Oh, is the only app
Candy Crush? And do you have it
downloaded twice? Seriously, Jesse, why
won't you show us your phone? Is it because you're
afraid we'll see the video you took of Rudy
driving his car? [ Laughter ] Trump himself seems to have
no idea how the business works. For example,
the special acquisition company Trump Media merged with
is listed on the NASDAQ rather than a larger
New York Stock Exchange. But when he tried
to explai
n why, Trump offered a mind-boggling
and nonsensical answer. -Truth Social
is doing very well. It's hot as a pistol and doing
great, and it's going public. And the New York Stock Exchange
wants to have us badly. And I told them we can't do
the New York Stock Exchange. You're treated too badly
in New York. We don't want to do
the New York Stock Exchange. And the people
at the Stock Exchange are very, very upset about it. The top person is --
is mortified. Can't believe it. He said, "I'm losing bu
siness
because of New York, because people don't
want to be in New York and they don't want to go on
the New York Stock Exchange." -Alright. A couple things. First of all, the top person at the New York
Stock Exchange is a woman, so that story
is obviously made up, unless Trump is claiming he had
a conversation with the bull. [As Trump] The top person at the
stock exchange came up to me. Big bull, strong bull, huge nuts, tears in his eyes, pouring down to his
solid bronze snout. And he said to m
e, he said, "Mr. Trump, sir,
the reason I'm frozen in place is 'cause I'm so scared
to be in New York." [Normal voice]
Second, the NASDAQ
is also based in New York. Third, you don't need to
literally live in New York to list a company on
either the NASDAQ or the New York Stock Exchange. If Swiss company Nestle wanted
to trade on the NASDAQ, the CEO wouldn't have to move
from Zurich to a studio apartment
in Bushwick. [High-pitched European accent]
"But I don't have room for all my delicious choco
late!" [Normal voice] I'm gonna assume
the CEO of Nestle is a gnome, and if it's not,
don't ruin it for me. And yet, despite the reality
of the underlying business, the stock debuted at
nearly $7 billion in value, thanks to a buying spree
from Trump supporters, which does not mean
it'll stay there. The stock's value is based
entirely on one thing, which is Trump's brand,
and in its own SEC filings, the company admitted
Trump could tank the value. They wrote
that an adverse outcome in one or more
of the ongoing
legal proceedings in which
President Trump is involved could negatively impact
the company, and that a number of companies that were associated
with President Trump have filed for bankruptcy. There can be no assurances that this will not
also become bankrupt. Uhh, sell, sell!
Sell, sell, sell, sell! Sell, sell, sell, sell, sell! Nah, that was -- that was
for a different thing. [ Laughter ] I thought this was foolproof! Jesse Waters uses it! [ Laughter ] One expert told CNN that t
he
stock price is clearly a bubble. "I'm reasonably confident the
stock price will eventually drop to $2 a share,
and could go even below that if the company blows through the
money it got from the merger." Oh man, $2. If that happens,
Trump's gonna be... -Hot as a pistol. -In fact, that's basically
already happened to Trump. Trump once had
a publicly traded company with the exact same
ticker symbol, DJT. The company went public
in 1995, and then this happened in 2004. -Trump Hotels & Casino
fil
es for bankruptcy. -His Trump Hotels & Casino
empire have filed for chapter 11
bankruptcy protection. The filings list
$1.3 billion in debt. -And that was when he had actual
stuff, like real buildings. Now all he has is a website where he misspells words,
like "Buden" and "grest," a real thing he did
this week on Truth Social. No other successful
company does that. I've never logged on to Amazon
and noticed they accidentally spelled
their name with an extra "O." [ Laughter ] The paper value of T
rump stock is wildly divorced
from the reality of the underlying business,
which is an abject failure. There's a good chance that eventually
the bubble will burst. It all hinges on Trump, a guy whose businesses
have filed for bankruptcy four times and who's
in so much legal trouble his house was raided by feds looking for classified documents
and yelling... -Show me your phone! -This has been "A Closer Look." [ Cheers and applause ] We'll be right back
with Liam Neeson, everybody.
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