Kenya’s most criticized couple on early pregnancy, trauma, love , loss and what’s next | LNN

So, the minute he told me that, "I'll show you the fatherly love that you have lacked, in your whole life." I was like, "No one has ever told me that." If at all mum was here, maybe I would have shared with her about this or that... Out of loneliness and stuff, I decided to...why not look for someone, we fall in love, and see whether we can push life together. And God blessed me with Whitney. Do you feel first and foremost: Kenyans have a right to question you on being 19 and pregnant? No. They

should not be questioning me now because, it's a decision. I sat down and made the decision on my own. This is the way we've decided to write our story. Let's just write it. Let us go through the experience, one day we shall share whether it's right or not. You said you want to give her, that fatherly love, right? - Yeah. - That's something you can never give someone though. That's something you can never give her. All you can do, is show up to her as her partner. For you Whitney, you cannot be

his mother. I had to take a short course. A course that would guarantee that by the time the baby is born, at least I have a job somewhere. Gosh! Is this how you define love among the young people? Not to say that I was coerced into pursuing a course in education. I love children. A lot. A lot. - Since I'm the only child back home-- - No way? Yeah. So, I grew up loving to be near other kids. We went for clinic at 12 weeks so, it was a bit early for us to know the gender. So, in our next clinic,

that's when we'll know the gender of the baby. I don't feel guilty for carrying this child at the age of 19. And as a first year, first semester student. Our area MP goes by the name, Silvanus Osoro. I don't know if you know him? And, he made sure that at least all his kids have gone through schooling. We got told that our mum had started running 'mad' in a way. She was kinda troubling my dad. This was around April 2018 and I remember that is the last time we saw her. The next time as we were in

school, we received a call saying that she's no more. According to explanation issued to us, she lost her mind at some point, 'cause of the things that she was doing while my dad was at school. My mum wasn't learned. So, she was actually working on peoples' farms She would tend the farms for the rich families, milk cows and stuff. So, there is this story that I normally hear: that there is my uncle who is so rich. So, at least my mum used to go there and work for them. Before the grandmother in

that rich family passed away, She left my mum with three pots and told her that... At times people do some things to protect their families 'cause then people are now trying to leave the old ways. So, I hear that before that grandmother passed away, she came handed over three pots to my mum since she was close to her. But now the kids to this grandmother were not happy at all. One of her daughters was so angry. She was like, "I'm close to my mum. Why would she..." When she handed the pots to my

mum, she told her to take care of the grandkids Later in life, they came over and stole those pots from our home. I mean the relatives and the sister. They stole the pots during that grandmother's funeral. So, later in life, in 2018 my mum developed the problem. She was taken to a traditional healer. The healer said, "Before a certain woman died, she left some pots behind. Where are they?" So, my dad went back home in the village, he tried convincing the relatives who took away the pots. He tol

d them all he is after, is for my mum to get peace of mind. She had been left in custody of those pots to take care of them. They went and bought random pots somewhere, and handed over to my dad. From there, my mum got a little bit better. She came back home. Around the April holiday, the last thing she did for us is: she took us to church and we got baptized. And then we went to school. So, on this particular day at school, we received news that she passed on. The woman who did this to her, nev

er showed up at the funeral. - So you think they cast something to her? - Not really. It was easier 'cause, my mum had a psychiatric problem and the was she died, we were told that she went to the market to buy tomatoes, she met a certain woman and upon saying hi, she collapsed and died on the spot. So, that story never got off my head. I never knew where to find more info about it. The funeral took approximately one week. I just requested my dad if I could go back to school. That time, I was in

form four, I was preparing for my exams. I didn't believe that all this had happened. I just felt like no such a thing ever took place or existed. But now, five years ago after I was done with high school, I felt the story was affecting me, no the fact that I'm back home from school. I mean, my mum was not around anymore. I recall my mum saying she can't go back to school. My dad was encouraging her to do so after giving birth to us. But she was like, "My kids will go to school on my behalf." O

ne sacrifice that I always say I'm proud of my dad is: he sacrificed everything for us to get education. He is yet to build a good house back home. - He's proud of you? - Yeah. He's proud of us 'cause, I went through school. I dint drop off despite challenges that were there. He has five children, then added two more to the family. You can imagine the challenge so, getting pocket money and stuff was quite hard. I felt like there's a time last year, I was losing it totally. There's a time I got i

nto drugs and stuff. Whenever anything bad happened around home, I would be like, "If mum was here, I would have shared with her about this and that..." Out of loneliness and stuff, I decided to...why not look for someone, we fall in love and see whether we can push life together. I was from a past relationship that lasted for like two years. Four months after we broke up... The other partner was hardly understanding my life. Whitney, when you see him...expressing himself. Why do you think he sa

ys that you understand him? Okay. He says that I understand him in that, the time I met him and we started dating, he used to drink a lot. And he was smoking a lot. At least nowadays he has stopped, totally. He does not drink. When he drinks, maybe once in a while. He gets calm 'cause there's no one stressing him. We usually fight over him saying, "We are not buying food today. I want you to cook for me." He shares a lot of stories from his place with me. Though he cannot share everything here.

For sure, he needs someone who is understanding. A person who will give him some peace of mind, so that he can be calm in mind too. - Someone who does not subject him to stress-- - We grow together. - You have that vision of growing together? - Yes. Grow together. Even us, we are not that well-off. We come from a humble background. My grandfather wasn't able to educate all his kids, including my mum. Mum went all the way to form four in her education. (high school) After finishing form four, the

re was a younger sister who was still in school. So, my mum had to pave way for her to continue studying. She was enrolling in form one, so, my mum gave her that opportunity. She tried to do something out there to at least cater for my education. By the way, I love my mum because I've seen her struggle so that I can be in school. One of the best school for that matter, to get the best education as possible. That's why she had to go abroad, look for work, so that I can be in school. She usually e

ncourages to avoid people who are talking negative right now. What do you usually say to each other? We talk. She usually tells me...she advised that Whitney should not be reading the texts At least I should be the one reading the comments, 'cause I feel like I can handle it. We usually talk. I'm sure after the show or rather, once you post this interview, she's gonna text me. How did you meet him and, what made you say, "This is the one." I had just joined campus; Kenyatta University. Within le

ss than a week, This guy comes, starts telling me, I've loved you and everything, actually it was in a text. He texted me a couple of things there and I'm like, wah! Okay. He came to my place. We talked and got to know each other more. He was like, "I've loved you and..." At first, I dint love him. I just liked him. Were there those butterflies like, "Oh my gosh! La muher de vivida?" That night I figured that we share a lot. - And you kicked things off. - Yeah. And get to know each other more. A

ctually, what made me lend her a listening ear is that, from the moment we met, she treated me so kindly. I went to say hi, she was in the company of a friend. The friend was hostile towards me, but she was nice to me that day. - And guys are smart and witty there... - it's not like I was trying to take advantage. She got pregnant in our first month of us meeting. Actually in November last year is when we realized she was pregnant. We started dating on 6th September. So, you dated for a while an

d then, oops! Something... First, I ignored the news 'cause I dint want us to discuss about it on phone. I felt they are big news, why not come we talk face to face? I left the pool game immediately, took a cab and headed home. I guess that's when we had a discussion, we stopped hiding secrets from each other. I was not even aware that her mum is not in Kenya. Earlier on, she had told me her mum is in groceries business and stuff. So, that day at least I got to know that her mum is not around. W

e decided to keep the pregnancy. Termination was not an option at all. I figured I had to push myself, and at least manage to feed them. On that day, I just sat on the toilet seat holding the pregnancy kit, shaking. I was there crying. I just felt like going crazy and everything. When I texted warren, now the blueticks gave me more anxiety. So I'm like, I'm on this pregnancy journey alone. Even the first day we started dating, he told me that if I get pregnant by any chance, we should just keep

the pregnancy. We believe in one thing; every child comes to this world with a purpose. So, the following day we decided to head over to clinic and have tests for STDs, UTIs and HIV. Everything turned out negative. So, my mum had told me, at first I should not go in for family planning. Because I'm still young, I might suffer infertility, cancer or something else. So, we decided to avoid contraceptives at first. We used to believe...pull-out method. We did the calculations on the safe days, but

our math was off with one day. Me and my boyz, we usually have this discussions Majority go for the withdrawal method. That's what most guys use out there but, it can mess you up. But it's also good to hear that majority go for tests especially on UTIs, STDs... At least we knew we are safe. Is that something a lot of young people are doing? Going in for the tests? I'm not sure whether it's a thing with most guys out there. I think majority seek medical advise after the act. If at all the other p

artner is positive, they are put on PEPs medication maybe. Oh, okay. So, that's something at least guys are aware of. At least people know that once one messes up, there are repercussions ahead. So, maybe if you happen to mess up, take your partner along to hospital. Go in for some tests, they will give you medical advice. You've said that you've been together for seven months. What are some of the challenges that you've experienced as a couple and how do you solve them? 'Cause, you are still ge

tting to know each other, right? We've experienced a number of challenges but majority of them are neither here nor there. For instance, maybe I forget to close the cupboard door, - What? - Or I've left salt shaker on the table. At times, maybe she lies to me about something, then I find out the truth. So, we subject each other to silent treatment for the entire day. Later on in the evening you hear her in the bedroom viewing Whatsapp status, then she's laughing out loud so, you feel bad and rea

ch out to her and try to reconcile. We've not encountered big challenges. Our love is still young. So, it's like we are living in a movie. - You are still in honeymoon stage. - Yeah. The goodbyes you hear there, they are real. We starting doing such videos and figured people love when we post them. It was our normal life and we felt, let's just put it out there. We are not yet to encounter any huge challenges. Do you still feel the way you did when you first met? What challenges have you been fa

cing? Same as the ones he mentioned. Has he ever done anything that annoyed you to a point of wondering, what the hell is this? The minute he gets home, he doesn't care where to place his shoes, throws his clothes anywhere. So, he's always expecting me to put them in order. Putting them in order is not a big work. - It's not a big deal so, one should do it on their own. - Mhmm. Then, while I'm at school, I come back and dirty dishes are piled up there. I'm the one to take care of them. But, sinc

e I decided to take this road, I'll have to put up with it. Also, leaving the closet doors wide open. - Oh, he's fond of that? - Yes. He leaves them open. We keep having heated debates about that. - Do you attend clinic sessions together. - Yeah. - How is it like? - It's fun. You get to listen to the baby's heartbeat once in a while. It's usually fun by the way. I actually enjoy the process since I'm free most of times, she's still young so I have to go there. Plus there's that confidence; you h

ave your guy there accompanying you for clinic, Every time we have a clinic session; the appointed dates, he makes sure to create time, we go. How are you guys surviving? Who is working amongst you? The fact is, since I enrolled for my first year of study at KU, my parent would send me around Kshs 300 per week, so, I had to seek means of making money on the side. In that process, sometimes you come across writing accounts. At least now I've grown while at it. I have employed some few colleagues

here and there. You earn per page. On average, you make Kshs 700 per page. You pay your employee Kshs 300 then keep the rest. - So, you make some profit? - Yeah. You make some profit. I struggled for a while though. I used to vend internet bundles to fellow students. I used to walk alongside my friend who is seated there, we go round hostels. We used to knock at other peoples' doors and sell the bundles. A 2 GB bundle would go for Kshs 150, 1 GB goes for Kshs 100. So, per day each one of us woul

d earn close to Kshs 2,000. Later on, you advance in the business and come across new ideas. Some encouraged me to source for around Kshs 50,000 and buy a writing account. Right now it's not so cool 'cause the accounts end up shut down. But at least I've made some savings. - You stay together under one roof? - After she deferred from KU, she moved in with me. But since she's currently studying at Macmillan college, she can hardly manage to commute from where we stay So, she has to reside in the

school hostels, then she comes over home on weekends. How is that like; being away from him for a while? It doesn't have to be an entire week. At times he shows up home on Wednesday. It's not easy 'cause at times, you have pain around this area [shows by hand] you need some massages, also when the feet get sore, you need someone to massage you. Plus, his presence around me at least helps me not to feel guilty of carrying a baby. So, the minute I'm away, I’m like, what is he doing? Will I go over

the weekend and find tables already turned? Oh my God! You mean you have such feeling or get scared it might happen? Yeah. There's that fear. I don't know why it comes. I guess it's out of the comments people have been channeling towards her. So, she has turned to be insecure nowadays. She needs to be assured that she's the Mama right now. She's the Mama? Gosh! She's the Mama. He likes it when the baby moves. - Awww! There's that connection? - Yeah. What people are saying is hardly true. A few

years ago, I had just completed my high school studies. I had secured a part time teaching job at the school where my dad is currently teaching. In the process, I got a baby boy. But unfortunately, one year later, the baby passed away. And I was there. I went and we procured a Coffin, and I buried him. So, the stories going round that I have a child out there... - They are saying you neglected the baby... - Right now I'm at peace with the mum. This happened two years ago and I had already taken

responsibility. Her parents knew me, and they even allowed me to bury the baby. - You buried the baby at your ancestral land? - No. We buried him at his mum's place. - Reason being, we were not legally married. - But you were present? My dad is well aware of that story. Whitney too, she knew before we started dating. Maybe those who knew that I have a child were not aware that he passed away. He passed away 'cause of pneumonia and stuff. So, I informed him about losing my child and I'm about to

bury him. He was well aware that I had a child out there. It was not a secret. At some point I decided not to keep secrets. They were hectic. The baby was born prematurely. At least some of his organs were developing. He was growing healthy. And that is the time he left. It was so heart breaking. It was hectic for the mother I did not expect... What scares me...nowadays people talk a lot over the internet. "Being a parent nowadays is quite hectic. Are you really ready to be a parent? Babies are

prone to get sick..." they say such things. So, I'm also scared that, what if tomorrow comes and my hustle is gone? How will it be? Will I have to go back upcountry? At least that is where you can raise a baby without facing a lot of stress. I don't want to go home right now and start feeding off of my father. That's the most scary thing but apart from that, it's the best news 'cause, as I told you earlier, I had reached a point of not having any purpose. I did not care at all. But right now at

least before embarking on doing something, I'm like, there's a baby coming over tomorrow. If I had purposed to spend the money on enjoyment, I save it instead. She has got some appetite for food nowadays. She's eating a lot. She has appetite. I guess her body is growing rapidly. So, I have to check out on her diet. She can't survive solely on vegetables. I have to treat her as a 'baby girl' for her to glow. - Soft life. - She's glowing. By the way, apart from the sad part of our family, the othe

r good part of our family is, I witnessed my dad being present in the life of my mum, before they even had money. So, why not... as boyz, if you grow up seeing your mum being treated well, you aspire to treat someone's daughter the same way and experience the feeling. - How is the feeling? - It's nice. I mean, making someone smile, they get proud of you till they agree to introduce you to their parents. It's not easy. It makes me to push even harder. Did you reveal it to your dad? How as his rea

ction? Actually, my dad is the first one to give us advice. I guess he believed that we might waste our lives if at all we are not responsible. When one is young, they are energetic and able to fend for their kids. I guess he wishes his story to mirror mine in a way, and I find it good. What was your mum's reaction? I had to switch off my phone 'cause I knew she would not be happy. - She would be in shock? - Exactly. I'm the only child, then I get pregnant in my first year of study. You just hav

e a feeling on how she reacts. I texted her and switched off my phone for about a whole week. I wanted her to process the news first, then cool down and everything. Meanwhile, I handed my mum's phone number to Warren. I requested him to talk to her at least to see if she can cool down a bit. So, they talked...I did not inquire what they talked about. But later on after that week was over, he told me after talking to my mum, she's okay. My mum also told me it's okay since I’m a big girl already b

earing an ID card, I can go ahead and make my decisions wisely. She told me to avoid ever handing her responsibilities she's not supposed to attend to. - You are on your own now? - Yes, Warren and I. We should take care of our own baby. She gave you the blessings but you handle your own stuff? Yeah. She has blessed us by the way, but right now she's okay. Even the negative comments that we are receiving, she's telling me, "Just keep going my girl. You will get over it. The minute you get on soci

al media, now that you have become kinda famous, not everyone will love you. But keep going. You just fight. I know doors will open up somewhere. You might end up being brand ambassadors somehow." She believes we shall end up somewhere good. And she accepted to help you change school... She paid up the fees for that short course. "...it's my responsibility to see you through school, even while you are 30 years old. I'll still be here." Let's talk about the 'big girl' Your mum tells you, you are

a big girl after breaking the news but now, what Kenyans are divided about, is your age. I sat down and came up with the decision on my own. I dint tell anyone to help me decide it So, the decision I've made, no one has a right to start judging me, being rude, others saying that I'll cry till streams run down my nose, no. its a decision I've made. Don't you think people are sharing the advice 'cause they've been there already? And they know how it turned out. I believe everyone has got their own

path. A certain might have taken their path and it left them wounded But you never know what God has planned for us. This is the way we've decided to write our story. Let's just write it. Let us go through the experience, one day we shall share whether it's right or not. - 'Cause, it has already happened. - The baby is already here. If this was yet to happen, at least we would pick up those advices. It has already happened, let's just keep the baby and wish for the best. Everyone has got their

own path to take. For some it will work, for others it will fail. We should just believe ours will work out. So, for those talking out there and everything, just stop. That's all I'm begging. Those things can only make sense if at all you derive them from the originally intended person. You might end up choosing the wrong direction 'cause after the fatherly love is done, the feeling between you is over. You gotta bond over beautiful things like, He's more into Bongo music. - What does he like to

eat? - Ugali. Those are the things you ought to focus on. You guys, you'll bond over trauma, and then after that, you just sit down and try to figure out what else you like about each other. And I love what your mum said, she will support you and your education even at 30 but you have to be responsible for your kid. Don't allow that to scare you. The baby can't consume Kshs 10k in day, right? Which means, if you put one foot forward, and her the other foot too, He will get you bored and vice ve

rsa. He will open up closets, toilet doors too... He will open up so many things that make you bored but, are you still able to look at him and be happy about it? When you hear her complaining about utensils and such stuff, that's is actually her telling you, "Can you work on this? Is this something you are able to work on?" But I don't want you to bring in the baby in this world over your bonding over things you have been through. "Life has been hard for me, trauma, this guy understands me..."

Let the understanding be from a place of love. He makes sure all my cravings are fulfilled. Even at his lowest, he tries the best. Plus the moods that come along with pregnancy, he keeps up with it. We'll go quiet on each other for 30 minutes, then he comes over and says he understands Whenever I encounter challenge somewhere, he gives me a listening ear and we find solution. My plan is to do YouTube and stuff. At least we might earn some funds. Then I let Melissa take over, I take a different t

urn ...using her 'cause she's just young. She doesn't know these things... As I mentioned earlier, if I was after using her, I would have done so on day one, the first day she was open to me Plus, how would I intend to use her? In which way? To get fame maybe? I was in a past relationship for two years, and I still had the idea of opening up a YouTube channel. But I never documented anything at the time. 'Cause, it's just that I feel she has a vibe, - and we can match in that vibe. - She has got

some energy kinda... Yeah, you watch her so you know it. She has some amazing energy whereby Kenyans might be interested in. She's always more on camera than I do. I prefer having her before the camera 'cause I just feel like I just want to see her shine. What would you like them to know about their mum? I'm very proud that I decided to keep the pregnancy and that, they've not come into this world as a mistake. Whatever they so wish. Warren, what do you want your baby to know about you the day

he/she is a youngling watching mum and dad on TV? The day you get to watch your dad here, just know that we are as excited too We are not introducing you on social media through pregnancy for fame. If that was the case, we would have done so the first day we noted we are pregnant. We have ups and downs. When such is thrown at you, brace yourselves. Don't perfect life now 'cause there are so many eyes on you. You decided to lecture people the other day. You can be tough at times, right? I've deci

ded to remain calm and avoid any disagreements out there. I don't wish to have anything stress me out. I just want to keep the baby till they are due. How do you usually go about it? There you go... Go on. He's right there besides you. Immediately I turn on the camera, she gets into character. I'm aware of that unique voice as well. - The place is full so I'm a bit shy. - Should I get them off of here? Ensure you get off that bed, the mattress is becoming thinner. - Baby, don't be like that. - I

love you! Kisses. There are so many people who are actually wishing you all the best, supporting you even online, what message do you have for them? We'll not start this thing then quit after 2-3 years down the line. We shall keep going on till we gift our baby, brothers and sisters. I do read the comments and note the positive ones, at least I try to reply back. We have so many people on our DMs... like right now we have over 20 ladies, they say they have similar story like Whitney. What I'd w

ant to tell you is; own your mistake and take responsibility. If you have a chance not to rush things...you know you can still date, grow up without getting pregnant. But if it happens, take responsibility. ...don't listen to what they are saying out there. I'll just say, thank you. I haven't been able to reply to all. But I'll summarize it here, - As they are 20 already? - Yes. - I'll just leave them to be-- - They'll get a reason to love us. At least you are like a parent, you sat us down for

a talk. It feels nice. At least our hearts and mind are at peace. Enjoy this process. The moment is yours. You document it. You don't have to even post it online. Document it for yourselves and enjoy. - Say hi to your mum. - I'll surely do that. No one knows about tomorrow. Should we wind up? You can bid 'My People' goodbye then. You can send some 'tea money' it's been a long day, you now. Why don't we get to 1 Million subscribers? I know someone out there is watching, yet they are yet to subsc

ribe. It's free of charge. Just hit that subscription. Wish you knew how many shoots we had today, just to make sure we bring you guys beautiful content. Just hit that subscription button. It will mean a lot to me and my team. The more you subscribe, the more other people get recommended to this channel.