- Recently, what I had to do was to let go of the parts of myself that want other people to
think that I'm a good person, that I'm a nice person. And this is something that is
like an epiphany that I've had that has completely changed my perspective on how I'm relating to other people. It's helping me to be more authentic. It's helping me to also be more detached from what other people think of me. And it's allowing me to also
be more bold in my own life with the way that I'm being not also atta
ched to
like people's perception. And I understand that sometimes that comes with polarity as well. So in this episode, you are gonna learn how to let go of the parts of yourself that are seeking approval or validation, or are wanting other people
to think that you are nice. And you're gonna learn how
this is actually blocking you from not only being more authentic, a lot of times we put out
an energy of people pleasing and we put out an energy
of wanting validation or approval from other people
. And any time we want it, the
less we actually receive it. The less respect that we have, that we get from other people. If you think about it, if there's somebody you
really, really wanna meet, or if there's somebody
that you're really really looking forward to seeing, if it's coming from a
place of like wanting their validation or approval, they will feel that needy energy on you. And they will many times want separate, it'll almost be like
the opposite of a magnet where like one side attract
s,
the other side repels. It's like repelling them away. That's what needy energy is. And when we are caring or wanting people to think about us in a certain way, that means we're attached to outcome. We're attached to outcome. And being attached to outcome
is what creates suffering. As the Buddha said himself, he said that desire and attachment is
the root of all suffering. And we'll find that in life,
as I go through my own life, I can tell that I
definitely have many themes I go through where
it's
all around letting go. You know, whether it's
letting go of a outcome when it comes to business, when it comes to people
I'm, you know, managing or when it comes to family
members and friends. Like it's like, there's a
desire that I have to control the different aspects of what's going on. And I can tell that the
more I try to control, the more resistance gets
infused into this process. So this is also an epiphany
I recently went through and I want to share that with you. So you can also l
ike see
these different aspects, maybe within yourself. I think a lot of times,
people that have gone through a spiritual awakening, there's
a lot of spiritual people that are what are called empaths. Are any of you empaths? If you're listening to this right now, either on the podcast or
on the YouTube channel, like this video, or do
whatever you do on the podcast. But let me know if you are an empath. Do you consider yourself an empath? And most people that are
empathic, I see a lot of them. So
metimes they end
becoming people pleasers. Because the thing is, is an empath, you can feel other people's
energies so clearly. And I know that sometimes
you can't differentiate your own energy from
someone else's energy. Or even if you can tell the difference, it's like almost their energy, their approval, their satisfaction. If they aren't feeling a certain way, then you feel like you've
lost a part of yourself. Or you feel like you have to fix them in order to get them
to feel a certain way.
That's because there's
been a loss of boundaries. And when we feel like we don't
have a strong sense of self, a strong sense of frame, we then tune to other people's frame. Because as we do that, we
are then getting information around whether our
environment is safe or not, whether we can relax or not. And many of us empaths are
the fixers in our family. Tell me, does that
resonate with all of you? If so, like the video, or let me know. Do you feel like you are
the one in the family that is focu
sed on fixing or holding or gluing everything else together? Because if you don't do it,
then nobody else will do it. And once again, an empath,
or somebody that is like... You'll find very often,
maybe people pleasers because they are tuning
to other people's energy. They can feel them. And then they want someone
else to feel a certain way. They are attached to
outcome to get some type of validation, love,
or support coming back. So this also was a coping
mechanism as a kid. So many of you that
are in empaths also as kids went through an experience where you had to tune
to your mom, your dad, your brother, your sister. You had to tune to your environment, to look around to see is it safe? Am I okay? And if you saw that a dad or a mom was emotionally unavailable, then you probably felt like maybe there's something wrong with me. Maybe I need to, I can be
a little bit different. If I'm a little bit
different then I'll get and everything will be okay,
like it was back in the day. Like wh
en you were a baby or something. So an empath is a survival mechanism. It is a coping mechanism
that we develop to create, where we kind of lose our sense of self so that we can ping to other people and we can understand what's going on. And I'm gonna talk about how
this relates to the people, you know, letting go of people thinking you're a good person as well. So for my own sense, just to
kind of share a little bit more about this too and how
this plays out on my life. I have always been able
to
read people like a book. I can read people's intentions. I can, you know... And I guess the more aware I've become, the more I can maybe see
other parts of myself in other people to where I can see kind of like my past
versions of me in a way. So like now that I've
come out of like being a people pleaser, a nice guy, I can easily see it and
recognize it in other people. Not that I'm judging it, or
I'm like, "That's so bad." I'm almost like, "I understand where this
person's coming from." I ha
ve a friend of mine that, he reminds me so much of my past self. Because the way he is and just like, I just see it in his body language. I don't know, it's hard to describe. But I think the reason I
can read people so well, I can tell people's intentions, is because from the ex step-mom thing from 7 to 15 years old, having somebody that
was very manipulative. I had to tune myself to my ex step-mom to constantly know and to
ping myself off of her energy to know whether I am safe or not. So like
the way, the psychological warfare that my brother and I dealt
with my ex step-mom was, like, we weren't allowed to have friends. Weren't allowed to watch TV. Weren't allowed to what we'd earned, going to school activities and stuff. But a lot of times she would, if we wanted to go to like
a band camp thing, you know, which is required from
the school, by the way. If we wanted to go to that and she knew we wanted to go to that, she would leverage it and say, "You guys can't go to that "'cause yo
u didn't do some
chore correctly outside." And most of the time
we were locked outside just doing chores. If my dad and her were
at work during the day, we were locked outside. We drank water out of a hose. We were very malnourished. I weighed 115 pounds
up until my sophomore, junior year of high
school because of this. But the reason I'm
sharing that with you is I had to tune myself to her, and then I had to learn psychology. So if she knew I wanted to go
to this band camp tournament, I had to
pretend like I didn't want to go. And I would, it was the same thing for forensics debate, same thing. I'd have to pretend like
I didn't want to go. So I'd be like, "Oh, I don't really want to
go to this band camp thing. "Or this is going to
happen, blah, blah, blah." And she goes, "Oh, you're think you're
going to get out of that? "You committed to it, you're going." You see, it was like this
weird manipulation thing. So I had to constantly tune myself to her to see how is she today? How is her
crazy emotions going? 'Cause I think she has like
borderline personality disorder. I don't know if she was
officially diagnosed with that, but definitely narcissist that's for sure. And it's interesting
because I can see that. My dad divorced her when I
was 15 years old, finally. And then after that, I just, I've always been able
to tune to other people. Now, the challenge is
that if I'm always tuning to other people, and I
can read their emotions, because that was a survival mechanism that I g
ained when I was a kid. There's a balance to where
then I need to be able to turn it on and turn it off. Yes, it's good to be able
to see people's intentions. But the way that that shadow has become like a double-edged sword
that hasn't served me is I can so acutely tune to other people that I really kind of
care what they think, their validation, their approval,
what they think about me. It's become something that
I think I very much tune to. And in the way, I've in
a way, abandoned myself. So
many people that are people pleasers, that really care what other people think. What they are really afraid of is they are afraid of abandonment. They are afraid of
somebody abandoning them or rejecting them. And the thing is that the
irony of this whole thing is, is that most of us that have
experienced that as kids, we felt emotionally or
physically abandoned as kids. So we made a choice that I'm
going to be a certain way. I'm going to present myself a certain way so that I can get that
valida
tion, love and approval. The thing is, is that most
of us will abandon ourselves in the process. Now think about this. When it comes to being an
empath, it's all about other. People are focused on other. What is the other thinking? What is the other feeling? Can I fix this other person? Because if I can fix them, I can feel safe, whole and complete. So the empath feels other, they get value and validation from other. They have abandoned themselves, the self, because they have abandoned their fra
me. They've abandoned even
being in their own body. And because of that, they
then tune to other people and look for it on the other side. So the key to the empath, the trauma that sometimes comes with that, is being and bringing the
awareness back to self, back to inside the body. And one of the things you will want to do is normally what happens with an empath, and just many people in general, is there's a belief there
that says, "I am broken. "There is something wrong with me. "It is not safe
." But it is safe now. The thing is, is we just believe it's not because we have an initial
belief and identity belief that says I'm broken. It's called shame. Shame says there's
something wrong with me. And the thing that I had to let go of to cure the people pleasing mentality was I had to let go of the shame that came from when I was a kid. Because when I was a kid, I felt like I was emotionally abandoned because my parents had
their own stuff going on. They were doing the best they
could wit
h where they were. But I felt emotionally
and physically abandoned. Well, not physically abandoned,
but from that, guess what? I'm broken, there's
something wrong with me. For many of us, we've had
parents that divorced. They divorced. Why'd they divorce? As little kids, we literally
think everything is about us. We're a little narcissists. So where it's like, "If
my parents divorced, "wasn't because that
relationship was messed up. "It was because of me. "I caused it. "Why am I so broken?" But
let me tell you something. You can let go of that now. That survival mechanism was in place from when you were a kid to keep
you warm, to keep you safe, to keep you feeling like
you got your needs met. You can let go of believing you're broken. How do you do that? You realize that your mom's
emotional unavailability when you were a kid, your dad's emotional
unavailability when you were a kid or a physical unavailability, guess what? It had nothing to do with you. Nothing, zero, nada, nilch, abso
lutely nothing to do with you. It was their own stuff going on. But you see when you're a
kid and you're an empath, you literally are tuning
into your parents. And you're thinking that
their emotion is your emotion, their emotional unavailability is yours. Do you see? So it's the sensitivity as a kid that made you think that
that was all your stuff. That was not your stuff. That was mom's and dad's stuff. And what you could do is a meditation. And what you could do is
feel inside of your body, i
nside of your hands
and feel the separation between your mom and your dad, between you and your mom,
between you and your dad. And then realize, and you
could literally say like, "Oh, that was your stuff, not mine." It's like the mantra of all empaths. "Oh, that's your stuff, not mine." Some people may look and say, "Well, it's bypassing your own stuff." Well, one of the biggest
challenges with empaths is you think everything's your stuff. Your mom's stuff is your stuff. Your dad's stuff is your
stuff. Your brother and your
sister getting along, it's all your stuff. It's all yours, because
there's no boundary. So the thing that you can realize
is that you're not broken. There's nothing wrong with you, but you have to claim your own space. You have to get inside your own body. You can even feel the
separation between you. This is called the frame technique if you haven't heard about it before, but you feel inside your own body and you feel the separation
between you and other people. It
makes you magnetic. I know it sounds crazy, 'cause it's like love and light, right? We're all here to connect to each other. We're all one consciousness. We're all ascending to a
high level of consciousness. But feeling separation
is actually more powerful in a lot of these situations. Because when you feel the separation, you're feeling inside your
body, you're more present, and that creates magnetic energy. I've done this, I've tested this. I've walked around and
been present in my own body a
nd feeling the energy inside, feeling the separation
between me and other people. It is powerful how
magnetic it is to people. People will come up to me. They'll ask me questions,
like, it's interesting. Even if I'm at the
store, hiking, whatever. It's crazy how powerful this works. Now with this though, the thing that I realized recently. I went to a get together. It was like a party. And I've been really good about this whole people pleaser thing for
like a year or two now. I oscillate a littl
e
bit more back and forth. I've had some like
relationships I had to heal with past people where I
think I overextended my own. Like I under, I didn't
have boundaries with them, so I had to like reestablish boundaries. Which is like interesting and powerful. But there's times I can still feel myself kind of slipping back into old patterns. Now, remember this is
a process of awareness. Awareness is 90% of all transformation. So I go to this party recently, and it was, you know, it was really cool
. It was at an influencer's house. So somebody in the same
industry that I know as a real cool guy. And I was there though, and I could feel myself as I was there. You know, since like everything
going on in the world, I've gone out and, you know, eventually I'll be doing
live events soon and stuff, but like, it's a different
context, I guess. I've gone out and been around people, but like around a lot of people. Not just people, but also I
could feel myself slipping because there's always, when
it's around certain people that maybe I've known online or certain people people
consider celebrities and stuff or whatever. I think it's like a self-worth thing where it's like, "Ooh, this
person's validation and approval "means more to me
because I want to connect "with this person." And then I could feel myself slipping more out of my own frame and starting
to tune to other people. And it's this interesting
thing because it's, I don't know if it's as
a form of self sabotage or what it is, bu
t I can
tell that my energy begins to kind of fade or when I'm
in situations where I want. Like, there's someone
that I put on a pedestal or someone's connection I
think would be really cool. And I had to like wake myself
up out of this, like in a way. Like, I go to this get together. It's from like four at night to like... I ended up leaving like 9 or 10. But the whole time I was there, I was meeting all these
other influencers and stuff and it was cool. But the thing that I
realized, my big ep
iphany, was I was going around. There was a couple of moments
where I could just tell that I was like, kind of being
a little bit needy in a way where I was wanting people to like see me in a certain way. or I wasn't, I was kind
of holding myself back from being the real me. The real me is pretty sarcastic. The real me is pretty witty,
if I do say so myself. Jokes around a lot. And the real me isn't as nice. Like, the real me is a
little more polarizing. Like I will say things to people. If some
body says something, not that I'm trying to argue with people, but like, I'm not attached
to what people think about certain things. And I could tell, it's funny, there were different people
I was talking to that night that are friends of mine, that I've had many conversations with where I'm really myself
and I'm just expressive and it's like dynamic and
I'm laughing, I'm joking. And then I talked to some other people that I've seen online
and stuff, and it's like, I'm kind of like more in this
box. And I've had this happen before, too. There was somebody that I met back in 2017 when I first got on YouTube,
that was also an influencer. And I remember going to meet him. And at first we didn't really connect. 'Cause I think I was... For maybe a couple of different reasons, but we didn't really, anyways. I could tell that when I met this person like three years ago that I was kind of putting them on a pedestal. And then the second time I met them, I didn't do that at all. Like I, my persp
ective shifted. I started realizing my own sense of worth and my own sense of self value. And I took all the fucking numbers, significance thing out of it. And all of a sudden person started like wanting to be around me. I started getting more respect. It was like very interesting
how that happened. So I kind of have this awareness that when I meet new people, especially influencers or
people in my niche and stuff, that there's a part of me that like, the first time might be kind
of like, you kn
ow, whatever. And then as I get more comfortable, it's like the real me comes out and people see the value in me because I see the value in me. But anyways, the thing
that I was realizing from being at this event, and then I left, and I was like, "Wait, why
was I being so fucking nice "in certain situations?" Why was I like...? I could just so clearly see
that there was a part of me that wants other people to think I'm nice, that thinks I'm a good person. And here's what I realized. Growing up f
rom 7 to 15 years old, I had the ex step-mom in my life. She was not a good person. She was what I'd call, not a bad person. I mean, I guess I now can
see how she was in her trauma and her dad treated her a certain way. So I understand it more. But for me to be a mean person,
or I guess in certain ways, a polarizing person, that
would mean I'm a bad person. Our mind sometimes likes to
think in forms of extremes. So what happens, I believe,
is that when we're kids or when we're younger, we
have s
omeone in our life that we would consider bad or somebody that we consider to be, we don't want to be like them. So what we do is we make a choice. We give life a meaning that says, "Hey, I'm going to be a good person. "Because if I'm a bad person,
then I'll be my ex step-mom." If I'm a good person or a bad... Like we make these judgements and say, "If I'm gonna be this way..." Like, my dad's a real nice guy. I think the reason my
dad's a really nice guy might be because his... I know my dad's d
ad. I never met him, but I know he, I think he died from being an alcoholic. He was a very emotionally
unavailable for my dad. I know that. He wasn't really in his life that much. But I could tell that my dad made a choice that I'm going to, that he, I think, craved that validation significance that maybe he didn't get from his dad. So he made a choice that he
was going to get it growing up from other people, from other sources. We're all we're trying to do is we're trying to get our needs met f
rom when we're fricking kids. We were kids, we didn't get our needs met. We search for it when
we grow up, you know. And I think a lot of
people that are successful, especially if they're craving significance or they're craving like recognition, or like big YouTube followings and stuff, it may come from not feeling significant, worthy and complete growing up. Not all the time, but
if that's the shadow, then that might be the case. So what I had to become aware of is I had to become aware of the
meaning and the value system that I have around my old identity, which was craving significance, people to like me, people
to think I'm a good person. Now, what I've realized is my values were fucked up, that's all. My value was that... A value is kind of like a belief. Our beliefs create our reality. So whatever we believe to be true is being reflected back to us. Now, the thing is, is our
values are kind of like virtues that we live by that make up our identity. Most of them are unconscious
or
in our subconscious. And we say, "Oh, if I
get people's validation, "if I get a significance, if
I get like people to like me, "then I have my needs met." Or, "That's just who I am." I asked my dad once, like,
"Why are you so fucking nice? He's like, "I dunno, it's just who I am." Oh, it's part of your identity, I guess. It's part of a virtue you're living by. But here's the thing. Your identity is a flexible noodle. It's flexible. You can make a new choice
about who you are right now. Right no
w, right now, right now. Every moment you're a new version of you. That's what quantum physics shows us. So you can make a new choice. So the reason I'm sharing this is because something powerful
that I think you can do is first off the stuff we talked about at the beginning of the episode,
the shame, releasing that. Getting in your own body,
starting to do that. Feeling the separation
between you and other people, but realize what is your
definition of being good? What is your definition of bei
ng bad? Because if you're trying not to be bad because to be bad is to be
someone that was in your family or something like that that was like mean, then we'll think in extremes
and we'll actually hold back different aspects of ourself. And what I had to realize was that I can let go of the part of myself that wants to be considered nice, nice. Nice is inauthentic. Nice, there's evidence between
being compassionate and kind. Being kind and being
nice are very different. Nice is exchanging, excha
nging energy. It's like, "Hey, I'm gonna be nice to you. "I'm gonna be nice to you. "And you're gonna give me
validation and support. "And you're gonna give
that to me in exchange." And then people are like, "Okay." And it's like this weird energy. And it's needy and it's wanting. And many times it then demands or like people don't respect it. So instead of it being
an exchange of value with strings attached,
attached to outcome. Then a lot of times,
nice guys, nice people, people pleasers, they
get angry if they were nice and
somebody didn't like them. "Why wouldn't you be nice to me? "I was doing this thing
for it to exchange. "And you're not meeting
your side of the bargain." When in actuality, it's
inauthentic to just be nice in exchange for validation. Instead, you can be kind. And being kind is because you who you are, it's not attached to outcome. It's a virtue you choose to live by. So there's a difference there. But niceness is about, and
people pleasing is about understanding
the shadow
of wanting to be liked, of wanting validation,
of one people's approval, and wanting people to think you're good. Because if you weren't
good, then you'd be bad. And to be bad would be
to be like my ex step-mom or you to be like someone
in your family that was bad. So really a lot of transformation is it's untangling meaning. And something that I think
that'd be very powerful for me to do is like a stretch experience. I don't need to necessarily
intend to be a dick or to go out into
public
and to get people to like, think I'm a mean person. But it would be powerful if I
were to like, kind of like... To do the opposite of what
my identity would normally do might be very powerful. I've had experiences before
where people were like, you know, a certain way to me. And I kind of held myself back from saying what I really wanted to say. I was like, what if I actually said what the fuck was authentic? You know? And as I start doing that, I
start to reframe my identity. and I start
to realize, "No,
I am a new person right now "in this present moment right now." But what I can also decide is that I live by the virtue of
authenticity over validation or craving validation. You see the difference there? So like, it'd be powerful if
I did a stretch experience where I go out in public, and
I'm just a dick to people. I don't want to do that because
I don't want that karma. But I guess to be more
authentic, not to be a dick, but like doing things that my old identity probably wou
ld think is a little
bit taboo or a little edgy, but actually doing that. Like one time I remember I went to, I told this story before,
but I went to Sedona. I went to this little like,
shop to get like a backpack where put water in and stuff,
like camelback or something. And then I also got bear mace spray. The reason I got bear
mace spray is because there were like rumors of
mountain lions and shit on these hikes. I go on hikes and stuff
when I lived in Sedona. And there's these rumors
of like
mountain lions. And I've hiked at night before where it's not night, but like, I'm just walking around my
neighborhood and there's like, javelina pigs and there's like, all these, there's like deer, there's like, you see eyes floating around. It's just it would help me feel safe if I knew I had bear mace
on me just in case, right? So I asked, there was a lady there, there's two people working
there and I'm like, "Hey, can I get that bear mace?" And that lady immediately,
there was a lady there.
It was like, "You know, "you shouldn't be spraying
animals in the eyes." And I was like, "Why do you
guys like sell bear mace "if you're gonna, like, shame
them for buying bear mace?" I think she thought I was a local like kid or some shit, I don't know. And she was like, "You better not be spraying
animals in the eyes." I was like, "I'm not." Like, I felt like I had to defend myself. I'm like, "No, you don't understand. "I'm not gonna spray... "I'm not running around
looking for animals "to sp
ray in the eyes. "Don't you know that I'm a good person? "Don't you know I'm good?" And instead, what would
have been more authentic, actually I would have been more sarcastic. That's my personality. But she was like trying to tell me that I don't need bear
mace and stuff like that. And you better not be going
around trying to find animals to spray in the eyes. Like, that was like the energy. And what I realized though, what would have been more
authentic for me to say is "Actually, you know, on
e
thing I like to do for fun "is like, grab that bear mace. "And I like to chase people with it. "I like to find animals
and spray them in the eyes. "I get a lot of pleasure out
of watching innocent creatures "just shriek with pain." You know, like be completely sarcastic in the other direction, you know. That'd been more authentic. But instead I was like
trying to defend myself. I'm like, "You think I would like do that? "Do I look like a young kid
that would like do that?" I was like, "No, I j
ust
want it for protection "when I'm on my hikes." You know, it was like this
thing where I realized like, what would it mean to be a bad person? So the more authentic thing for me to do would have been kind of
like a sarcastic person that like, kind of calls her out and like, is that how you think about me? You see me and you just
assume I would like go and like fucking torture animals. You know what I mean? Whereas no, maybe this person's buying the bear mace for fricking... Why would you sell
it in Sedona if there weren't bears around? I don't know. I don't want to go too
much of a tangent on that. But do you see what I mean? There's also a part when
people really are attached to people thinking they're a good person. A lot of times people will find themselves over explaining themselves to people. Have you ever done that? Like this video or comment below. let me know if you've ever done that. You over explain yourself to
people that you don't need to. And that also comes down to sel
f-worth. Would you let people
treat you a certain way if you really felt 100%
worthy, whole and complete? If you knew who you were,
if I was in my own frame, I could then clearly see, "Oh,
that's her shit, not mine." That lady that didn't want
me to buy the bear mace because she thought I was gonna go around spraying animals in the eyes. Well, guess what? She probably had a
little brother growing up that was torturing animals. And therefore, she just
thought that maybe I'd be doing the same thin
g her brother would
do because all men do that. Or all guys want to do that. Or all younger people want to do that. I don't know. But you see that's her shit, not mine. And if I was really in my own
body and I could feel that, it'd be much clearly to see, I'd be like, "What are you talking about? "Like you think I would do that? "I look like I would go do that? Thanks." You know what I mean? Like, it would be a different energy. So anyways, the key to
this is your value system. The key to this i
s you
being inside your own body. The key to this is letting
go of the shame growing up, that there's something broken with you. You're not broken. There are also three
meditations that I have that will help you heal
this inner child wounding, that will help you to
change yourself image, to change your identity. Everything I'm talking about
right now in this episode, there is something for free. My three most powerful meditations. You can download them and listen
to them whenever you want. Go to
aarondoughty.com/free, F-R-E-E. Download those three meditations. They're the most powerful
meditations I've created. They will help you to heal
this energy within yourself. Let go of these aspects of yourself and be the version of
you you came here to be. If you want to learn the
five secrets to letting go that will make you attractive AF, that's this video right here. I highly recommend that you watch it because it'll help you with
what you learned in this video. The less attached you are,
th
e more attractive you are. People are attracted to somebody
that is in their own frame. And does it
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Yes indeed I am an "empath" and yes I went through a time when I had a hard time differentiating my own emotions from others..and avoided tension with others because I'm "so sensitive" so it became easier to say "yes" and diminish my own self-value.. but understand fellow empaths...it is a SUPERPOWER...I'm in my power now. What was once a detriment (I didn't even know it) is a now a gift. Learning how to ground was a big part of turning oversensitivity into superpower..learning how to do heart-brain coherence, cultivate and direct chi, or life-force energy, and reprogramming the false beliefs of society I adopted into my belief systems were all part of my empowerment process. I'm in an amazing place now......You can do it to, it's not weakness....it's a great strength but it needs to be cultivated and the shadow work is absolutely essential in this process. Namaste
Royalty Rule: Never Complain never Explain 👏🏼👍🏻. It lowers us out of our own Devine center
I've survived this before, I'll survive now.
I’m an empath who just recently learned to create boundaries for myself.
We become more magnetic by not being afraid to be polarizing. It’s that simple, a magnet has poles, and you cannot please everybody, do not be afraid to be a positive or a negative on different points of views, because in the end, that is what is going to influence people the most. Thank you Aaron, -Much love from a growing youtuber
Empath indeed. I can feel peoples energy so much it is over powering and makes me uncomfortable. Then I choose to run.. :)
Yup. Deep abandonment issues stemming from my father leaving the family when I was a child. Caused me to be a people pleaser for years. But, all that contrast brought strength and clarity.
im often friendly too so have to be cautious I used to let people use me to help them with their problems but now i have to be selfish and work on my own problems and challenges
I am currently working on my empath ways. Definitely a "fixer" as well. This video "popped" up right on time .
No More Mr Nice Guy! Is a great book to stop seeking approve. Much love for a law of attraction youtuber.
Thank you for this video. I have alwayssss strived to be known as the nicest person ever. All my life. If anyone thought I wasn’t nice, it would crush me. I’ve had so many conversations with people where I don’t agree with what they’re saying, but I go along with it because confrontation and disagreement have always scared me, even if it’s about something insignificant. I’m often censoring how I really feel in conversations in order to avoid any type of disagreement. But it’s not authentic. I feel more powerful now after watching this video, knowing that I can be a kind person, yet not having to be “nice” all the time.
i cried to this video because i feel like this, for over ten years, I've been doing things that would make peoole happy instead of myself to find comfort. learn things to keep people see me as a good person. this broke me to my unconscious level.
Aaron, I would like to take a moment to say that for the past 3 almost 4 years now you're videos have helped me through some of my darkest moments. I absolutely appreciate the gifts that God has given you and even more so that you have chosen to share your gifts with the world. 🙏
Sadly a lot of people abuse animals. I'm happy that the woman spoke out about animals. Not that YOU were going to but I love people who speak up for animals.
I’m an empath who has dealt with wanting to be a nice person for a long time. I’ve had a lot of issues with men who mansplain and brag and just want to take up all of the conversation. I realize now that to be in my frame it means that I am going to expect and ask for balanced conversations and not care what people think. As an authentic person, I will no longer deal with oppressive situations like that. Thank you for sharing.
This resonated with me so much. There have been so many times in my life where I’m in a situation where I want to just say what’s on my mind, my authentic response, but instead I hold back and give the response I that I think people want to hear because I think it’s the “nice” thing to do.
Honestly, I never cared for others validation, but momma trained me to care🤯
The “right meow” always gets me 😂😂
I love how Aaron explains things. Such a deep understanding of emotional boundaries. I really struggled in understanding what emotional boundaries are. Thank you for making it so clear. Sometimes I think, once an empath knows they are acting nice out of fear of abandonment, as a reaction to that awareness, they go into avoidant mode. They flip from anxiously attached to avoiding attachment all together. Over valuing separation of the self and undermining attachment. Sometimes because we didn’t trust our care giver, we develop this idea that it is not safe to seek validation. It is not safe to want approval of others. But what if that other really loved us and wanted what’s best for us? Simply put, just be good to people who treat you good. Be a jerk to people who are treating you badly, that’s authentic. I love, love, love listening to you Aaron! You have so much wisdom to share. Much love to you💕💕💕