so tonight I'm in the mood to to listen to
classical music so I will I used to listen to classical music a lot like 6 years ago because I I
don't know I okay let's not get into that anyways I'm Catra I've wanted to record a video for
not so long but like since yesterday I prepared everything and then sidemen posted a video and
I'm not a watcher of them, it got recommended to my channel, I wasn't even subscribed um and then
it looked interesting it was 2 hours long 2 hours long I watched it
and I subscribed cuz it was
interesting point is it got so so late I was too tired to record but I really really really wanted
to talk cuz I feel like I have I need to guess get my thoughts out somewhere okay I'm listening
to tchaikovsky right now my favorite classical composer um but yeah whatever so the thing is
if you watch my videos you would know I made this stupid challenge it's not stupid it's
actually really good cuz I really have been pressuring myself but I made this challenge I
need to release a song February 29th because it's leap year Le day and I thought I I like
to pick funny dates interesting dates the 10th of 10th the 9th of 9th the 3rd of third blah
blah blah um okay let's change song this is overbearing to my thoughts classical music is so
dramatic sometimes I love the Sugar Plum Fairy anyway anyways so what was I going to say
something with yeah the song So my [ __ ] god it's been ah such a pain in the ass because
mixing is fun mastering is not and I'm se
lftaught right and the thing is I feel like mixing and
mastering are so similar yet different right like it's like you need to also be mastering while
you're mixing that's what it feels like and I know I must be doing something wrong because I
don't know I feel like I should cuz I've heard that I've heard a lot of things I've watched R
so much and I still don't feel educated about it because I always avoid mastering and it's
not like it sounds bad but it doesn't sound good to my ears anymor
e because I've heard it
more than a 100 times I repeat the same section for so long like listen to the same 10 seconds
over and over and over and over and over and over and always it's bad ear fatigue but don't
think that I don't take pauses cuz I do cuz I know you need to take a pause otherwise
you won't be able to hear the difference but it feels like I'm never satisfied I'm so
[ __ ] picky it's I'm annoyed with myself but yeah I just needed to complain somewhere I'm
just [ __ ] remember
ing I said I didn't want want my challenge to be a venting CH
venting Channel I can't talk I can't talk I forgot how dramatic classical music it it's
so intrusive to my thoughts I just keep wanting to listen to it and music is distracting
to me okay whatever I still listen to it but yeah I just wanted to say I think
I'm going insane if the song I'm going to it's going to get out February February
29th I don't know what to call it oh no oh [ __ ] I'm remembering something so I wanted to call
the song clouded
because when you have a clouded thoughts a clouded mind you can't think clearly right
that's that's been me the entire time making this song and it was unintentional for like when
I began the song I just wanted it to sound like I wanted it to sound soft Airy sensual um but
I wanted to while making the song I kept just losing my focus just staring into the wall for
like I don't even know how long I just I would realize oh my god I've been listening to it
for like the 20th
time now forgotten to check the lufs on youlean and was just like losing
my mind slowly but surely losing my mind and I think it's so funny how when I had to find
the title I was like clouded cuz it sounds airy clouded with thoughts because you lose your
mind a little like cuz I do some talking in this song which by the way I'm not satisfied with it
but I'm not going to re-record it I'm just I'm just going to get it out cuz if I re-record it
then I know it's going to take me seven business
days to like be happy with that too and it's the
20th right now oh my God I have 9 days it's fine but I don't know if the distribution distributed
I'm using is fast enough to put it out so fast it's fine fine it's I just have to wait four more
years to get it out on leap day if I [ __ ] it up now but yeah anyways did you even get the point
of what I said like okay whatever it's fine you it doesn't matter but yeah I don't know if I want
to call it clouded or clouded thoughts or clouded mind
but just adding thoughts or mind makes it
sound likely clouded it is nice I already know it doesn't even matter what opinion people give
me because I just want to call it clouded it's not that important this song is not important
to me it's just something to me you get it it's a lesson that's what it is I can't say I love it
now I used I really liked it before but now I've listened to it so many times I can't even tell if
it's bad or good so if you listen to it and it's [ __ ] mind your bus
iness okay I actually tried
to make it sound good but I I can't hear anymore how long have I been oh thank god I thought I
hadn't recorded I hadn't started recording and have to have to repeat myself I'm just like no
n it's been 10 minutes already my throat already hurts I keep forgetting I literally throughout
the entire day whenever I accumulate thoughts that I need to get out I just think oh I'll just
talk at night and then I forget them because I don't write them down because I don't wa
nt to
write them down oh my god I've broken my window handle I can't open my window not good I don't
get fresh air in and I think it's bad for my brain because my brain suddenly get like o pounds
of pain like a banging boom pain feeling but yeah I broke it by accident by the way I'm I'm
just that strong it's not really my fault I mean it was frozen solid December 7th I remember the
day I haven't told anyone cuz I don't want my mom to be mad at me I'm just waiting till spring
till it's actu
ally warm enough to even have a reason to open my window you know which might
be bad because I might suffocate of heat then but to have to deal with my window open for hours
while fixing the window and have all the cold air in my room it's going to make me get a frostbite
I don't have to be there but I don't want anyone to get in my room I don't want anyone to get in
here and fix it what am I going to do this is tragic there was a man in my room like April
like last year um checking the rad
iator and I remember I got in there and I realized oh
my God you had to climb over my bed because it's right next to my window and my bed stank of
sweat I wasn't I don't sweat like I I sweat but I don't stink when I sweat you know it's like
am I seriously going to describe no no I'm not but it smelled like man it smelled like man sweat
and it was all over my room and I was just like or tragic oh my God this is a um I haven't
heard the song for years I forgotten about it but I'll put it in i
t's called a
nostalgic Dream by Peter Gundry and I know some people here will love it
it reminds me of like fairy tales and stuff but yes that's it that's it full me me
update no I feel like there should be more to say should be more to say other than losing my mind
let's look at my schedule what do I have to do um tomorrow today actually but it's night when I wake up again I have to Rend
the song and then listen to it to be extra extra neat fun fact I don't think anyone knows this but
I d
on't listen to my own music because it yeah it's it's not a good thing to say when I listen
to it I'm impressed but I'm also that's not a bad thing that's not the bad thing that I'm talking
about it's a good thing that to be impressed by by yourself but the bad thing is I'm impressed
no the good thing is I'm impressed and the bad thing is I'm like.. but I could have done that
like I hear how good it is but then I also hear minuscule flaws so I don't listen to my songs
because I know I know
I have to fight the urge to remove my music because I'm that dumb and the
brain like I just need everything to be perfect perfect perfect perfect perfect perfect perfect
perfect if I don't feel like the feeling comes across across or the thought or the intention
comes across the way I int intended it to be and it just feels like my mistakes get in the way
of sending the message that pisses me off badly so anyways let's talk about something a my
foot is asleep my foot is asleep oh by the way
thanks for 30 subscribers wait
um I got some comments I'm just going to read them in my head and then I'll see if
if I find it appropriate for me to read them out loud because sometimes I don't know
if you guys who comment want me to like read them but I like it I like to read
them out loud I don't care I'm just you know peace oh [ __ ] I'm going to
beep out, I just said his full name, but you said peaceful humble style music.
I'm not sure what you mean uh but I don't remember what music
I put in there, wait what
did I put in there yeah I put in a song that I really like which was new ambient song that
I had found and I don't really remember the rest also YouTube recommending my channel I mean that's I did not I don't know what to say about
that, that's kind of scary oh actually I want to know this how many of you follow me through
recommendations cuz I genuinely thought it was just people through Neocities who watch my video
videos because I link them there I didn't think
YouTube would push them because I don't really
put that much effort into them you know I just talk and then put over music that I like or
want others to listen to underground music sometimes not underground music just you know
bring out vibes feelings atmospheres and I feel like my [ __ ] leg is asleep bro wait what is
this song I know what it is but let me read it for you um it's only recommending me tchaikovsky
because my entire playlist is just tchaikovsky that's I I grew up with his mus
ic should I tell a story about myself
as a kid or is that boring okay I've been talking for 20 minutes I'm not going to
say tell a story I need to sneeze. hold on. okay next song no absolutely not we're
not listening to Fur elise, the internet was just obsessed with that
song for so long I've gotten tired sick and tired I feel like a nerd listening to classical
music but I don't know anything about it so I don't feel like such a nerd oh let's listen to
this morning mood that's so funny thi
s is such a good meme song oh also thanks to to to to to
um --- for telling me the difference between an ad and a commercial honestly I forgot
adverts was even a thing like a word. oh my God you want to let me tell you what the only
English word is I can't say? um that's probably a lie but the only English word I can think of
that I can't say. I can't even say it to you it's can canot can oh my god let's
actually let me spell it out for you okay uh it's it's it's and I remember when I heard
it I was like why is it said like that because it does not sound English and I realized
it's because of okay let me just find the word so I can tell it to you so I can tell you the story colonel like colonal I thought you
pronounce it colonal it's pronounced kernel, I'm listening to someone say right now kernel
and I was like that's the way it's spelled and the way it said it does not resemble English
at at all and it was apparently because of during World War I or World War II or both
wh
en the English and the Italians and French and whatever I don't know who were allies well
I do know Italy Italy was against a lot but you know like mixed countries mixed soldiers so
their languages for these terms apparently also got mixed so slowly people would like mush
you know the way they pronounce things would be mushed together it would sound a little French
and a little English a little this and that and that's apparently why it's pronounced so
weirdly, don't take my word for it tho
ugh it's not like I use the word but wait let's
hear the others lieutenant that's right isn't it Lieutenant no leftenant leftenant that's
so interesting almost all military words so far I don't know how to say because they don't
sound English you know military ranks let's just read them left tenant Colonel what's Brigadier
Brigadier that's definitely not it let's I know how to say captain the captain Brigadier Brigadier
Brigadier Cadet major second Lieutenant Brigadier oh I actually did who
who would
have thought not me Brigadier uh i'm bored by the way it's
4:21 a.m. Sergeant Sergeant funny one more song, like okay google
Nicolo Paganini okay definitely said that wrong and look at his beard I'm just
like what the oh my God if I saw that not going to lie I would be kind of scared
not kind of I would be scared I would run he looks scary like what the hell what
can I say I feel like he's he looks like a vampire and oh let's not say more like like let's
not respect on that alt
hough I'm sure he was a terrible man cuz I know men back in the day I'm
sure you would have hated me so I hate him anyways anyways I'm not tired but it's like almost 4:30
so I should sleep but I don't want to sleep but I should but I don't want to oh also also what I
don't even know what else colonel colonel what a funny word colonel it sounds like popcorn kernel
isn't that a word popcorn kernel kernel like corn kernel corn kernel let me Google it kernel
yeah yeah no oh wait I was sure Colo
nel meant corn well yeah it is it says
a softer usually edible part of a nut seed or fruit stone contained within its shell popcorn kernel no who the
[ __ ] cares okay English is my third third language third language okay give me a break I don't want to think cuz I get sad if
I think I don't want to stop recording because then I'll get sad because then I have
to think I need to think of something I can do before my sleep that will make me happy dude I
forgot to say I'm starving right now I
'm [ __ ] hungry as [ __ ] and I'm not going to leave
my bedroom to find food which I don't even know what I want I'll have to rumage through
the kitchen for 10 minutes maybe even more for food at 4:30 a.m. are you nuts I'm not going
to do that and then I have to brush my teeth again like you know you see I'm
I'm I'm just starving myself out if I go to sleep the the emptiness
in my stomach will will not be and I until I wake up again you know
but um I'm not sleepy a little actually this is
going to be such a long video if anyone is listening to this oops
tell me should I make shorter video like 2 minutes no like 10 minutes or 15 or 20 or
25 or 30 or 35 or 40 or 45 or 50 or 55 not 1 hour we're not going there okay we're not going there
oh my god this song doesn't end whatever whatever so the other day I watched the first women's
soccer game ever intentionally I haven't watched it unintentionally when it's come up right but
this was intentionally to be granted to be fair I I w
atched it when it was like already at 70
minutes but it was Manchester United vs Arsenal, Arsenal won and I want to know if anyone here
watches soccer soccer football soccer what teams you think I should watch of the women's? people
there's one thing I don't understand about sport it's like why do you shame someone for wanting
to side with a good team it's like if I want to side with the winner team it's like okay so
like I want to side with the winner team it's not like I'm flimsy and chan
ge side all the time
I understand people can't win every single time but if it's someone who loses constantly then why
should I side with them? I'm there for the talent, for the entertainment, you get me? if someone
is bad it's not entertaining it's not it's, okay maybe it is it is entertaining if they
like fall on their face all the goddamn time but it's also frustrating to watch and
side with that you get me? so I'm going to go
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