Lost Media That Should Stay Lost

Lost media searches have recently exploded  in popularity. And for good reason. In a time where we can get almost anything we want  almost instantly, the idea that something, anything is out of reach for our curious eyes  is not only strange but even somewhat upsetting. Not to mention, many find the search itself to be  half the fun. Being able to resurrect a piece of lost media from obscurity or just being able to  prove it exists is incredibly gratifying. These searches have often not only bee

n successful  but brought back important pieces, whether for their entertainment or even historical value. Usually, the goal for lost media is to have it no longer be lost media. But there are some  special cases of lost media that are simply so... wretched, that it really is better for them  to be locked away, wherever "away" may be. Rather than going for obvious media that should stay  lost, like media solely known for being illegal or only made to have excessive gore and death,  I wanted to

focus on lost media that would be actively detrimental if found. As in, they would  likely have a severe negative effect on those that appeared or are connected to that lost media,  whether that be damage emotionally, socially, or otherwise. Today, we're going to cover just a  few of these pieces. I've also structured these pieces of lost media based on how disturbing I  personally found them. So, if you're interested in hearing the most distressing media I was  able to find, do stick around to

the end. I'm Hector Holtz, and I do investigative work on  internet mysteries. Join me as we shine a light on the obscure and unheard, unraveling their tales.  This is Lost Media That Should NEVER Be Found. #1 "Dude, This Sucks!" (MTV) Date Created: 2000 We'll start off with easily the most disgusting  one on our list, and I found the more I learned about it, the more disgusting it got. In January  2000, MTV would begin recording a pilot for the show "Dude, This Sucks!" This show is often  desc

ribed as an "inverted talent show". Rather than the talent already being picked, two team  captains would each pick volunteers to showcase their talents. The now-contestants would then have  45 seconds to perform their act, and if one of the three judges didn't like what they were seeing,  they would slam down their hammer and disqualify them. The audience would proceed to scream,  "Dude, This Sucks!" The team with the most points, assumingly from getting the least amount of  "Dude, This Sucks!"

-es would win a cash prize. If this seems like a strange show, especially for  a channel that's meant to be focused on music, that's because it is. But by this point many  of MTV's reality-based shows were proving very successful, so having something like this that  would inevitably lead to plenty of shock value not only made some sense for the channel  but likely for their ratings as well. But then, just on the second act, something  happened that would result in completely killing any chance t

he show had at being successful. Before the act, two thirteen-year-old girls were told by the producers of the show to stand  near the stage. And out from the back came two performers only known as the "Shower Rangers".  Dressed as scouts and after briefly acting out some type of campfire scene, they suddenly  exposed their bare bottoms to the audience, And, assumingly after using some kind of  laxative backstage, they proceeded to... well, I can only describe it as explosive defecation.  The t

wo unsuspecting thirteen-year-olds faced the brunt of the ensuing filth. One recalled  of those first moments after it happened: "We were having a good time until the second  act of Dude, This Sucks went on. All of a sudden I was smelling something disgusting, and  I started to gag. I looked around at my friends. They were covered in something. As I looked  down at myself I realized that I was too." Even worse, assuming that some of  their peers had been in the audience, word got around of the i

ncident and they  suffered bullying for it among their peers. "Everyone knew about it, even some of the  teachers. Most of the kids were cracking jokes or wouldn't come near us because,  even though we washed off the feces, they said we smelled. I will never, ever  forget what a horrible experience this was." On April 5th, 2001, the parents of the girls would  file suit against MTV, claiming the studio had intentionally inflicted emotional distress,  negligence, and battery. Of the same day, Bri

an Garden, then-MTV's president, released  a public apology to the two girls and in the following days announced that the pilot  would be forever shelved. Interestingly, in his apology, he said that this incident was  unintended. But personally though, I have a hard time believing that, because not only were the  girls instructed to move to that specific spot, but the camera equipment reportedly already  had protective covers on themselves. So, surely the producers knew what was  coming, right?

But, moving on. The case was eventually settled out  of court. And as far as I can tell, the "Shower Rangers" never faced any legal  action, and even remain anonymous to this day. But for MTV, this apparently wasn't a disaster  enough. One year later MTV would try the idea again. Now titled as "Celebrity Dude, This  Sucks", this version assumingly had the same premise as the original, just now with  celebrities. But there's very little evidence this version even existed, in of itself  appearing

to become lost media. Therefore, I can only assume this version had very little  fanfare and simply fell off to the side. Considering this incident was so disgusting  and even worse inflicted on two non-consenting children, I think it's wise that "Dude, This  Sucks!" remains forever buried somewhere in MTV's vaults, never to see the light of day. #2 Bill Cosby 77 (Netflix) Date Created: 2014 Yes, sadly, this is referring to that Bill Cosby. As most of you know, Bill Cosby  was once a beloved tel

evision comedian and actor in the 1980's, some of his most famous shows  including The Cosby Show and Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids. And as most of you probably know too,  he was convicted of sexual assault and allegedly drugged and raped dozens upon dozens of women  throughout his career, the first instance of this being recorded as early as the 1960's to as recent  as 2008. And it is this long series of allegations that would lead to this piece of lost media. While these cases against Cosby w

ould be reported as early as the 1990's, Cosby's actions largely  flew under the radar until two decades later. What helped these allegations come into the  public conscience after all this time was, of all things, a stand-up performance by comedian  Hannibal Burress, where Burress encouraged his audience to look into Cosby's allegations after  one of his shows. This not only shined more light of them into the public eye but encouraged  even more women to come forward about their interactions wi

th Cosby. Around four years  later, after a contentious legal battle, Cosby was convicted of drugging and sexual assault. Around the same time Cosby's actions came into the public sphere, Netflix was planning to release  a comedy special starring Cosby, simply called "Bill Cosby 77". The special was called this as  it was recorded on Cosby's 77th birthday, and with a planned release date of November 28th, 2014.  However, just ten days before its planned release date, television star Janice Dick

inson came out  with her own allegations against Cosby. Likely seeing what would have resulted in unwanted  negative media attention, Netflix elected to delay the special's release, simply stating:  "At this time we are postponing the launch of the new stand up comedy special Bill Cosby 77."  Netflix reportedly refused to further detail why this decision has been made, but personally, I  believe it's pretty obvious why. As the allegations against Cosby continued  to pour in, the release date of

Bill Cosby 77 remained unknown. Finally, 8 months later, Netflix  announced they would be putting the special on hold indefinitely. Netflix chief content officer  Ted Sarandos shortly added on the matter: "I don't think it's appropriate to release that." Not much is known about the special itself. The only evidence of its existence is  a placeholder title card Netflix temporarily had on their service, as  well as this short and vague description "Bill Cosby invites you to share his birthday and 

77 years of laughs, wisdom and insights about his childhood, first loves, and parenthood" The only other evidence concerning Bill Cosby 77 would be this tweet from Cosby himself  thanking Netflix for the opportunity of taping the special, and finally some old articles  discussing the then-upcoming release. As of today, very little else is known about  the special. Reportedly, it was filmed at the San Francisco Jazz Center and ran for around 60  minutes. No part or even still from the feature h

as ever been released. And strangely, even  though it supposedly was filmed in front of a live audience, there is simply no information on  anything that was heard, seen, or done while Cosby was on stage. Nothing that I could find, anyway. As a final tidbit, in December 2022, Cosby actually planned to go on a comedy tour around the  United States, despite being 85 by that point and having been released from prison just a year  after the fact. However, it appears the tour, planned for 2023, neve

r happened. Ideally,  it never will, and out of respect for the survivors of his alleged abuse, both Bill Cosby  and Bill Cosby 77 will be allowed to fade into obscurity of the sands of time. #3 Groupie (Marilyn Manson) Date Created: ~1996 To begin our descent into the especially upsetting, we'll start with  one of the more popular pieces of lost media on this list. Brian Warner, more commonly known  as Marilyn Manson is often referred to as a "shock rocker". Being especially popular in the  19

90's, Manson's songs and performances would include provocative lyrics and acts, including  references to the 1999 Columbine Shootings, eating a Bible on stage, and being involved  in more controversies than I can ever hope to cover without tripling this video's runtime.  Keeping up to the title of being a "shock rocker", on a single night sometime between 1996 and 1998  Manson recorded what would become one of the most disturbing and controversial things to come out of  his career. And it was s

imply called "Groupie". What we know about "Groupie" primarily comes  from Manson himself briefly discussing the film with friend and comedian Andy Dick. For this short film, Manson had hired once-girlfriend Pola Weiss to play the role of  a "groupie". The term groupie itself is often used to refer to a person that follows a band or  group wherever they may go. This is usually in the hopes that they can meet, become friends with,  or even... procreate with them. But anyways. Reportedly, Groupie

takes place at an actual  party Manson was hosting, with guests only being told by him beforehand, "A girl is gonna  show up and something's probably gonna go wrong, so just roll with it." The film starts with  Manson... well, orally pleasuring Jeordie White, or better known as "Twiggy" and then-guitarist  and bassist for Manson. Weiss then appears at the door, dressed to look much younger than she  reportedly was at the time. She offers Manson a gift, who not only accepts it but invites her  i

n. Throughout the rest of "Groupie", Manson then pressures Wiess into increasingly perverse and  disturbing acts. Only one of these is currently known; this is Wiess drinking the urine of Pogo,  the keyboard player for Manson at the time, from a wine glass, which Pogo eventually does  as well. Other details for "Groupie" are fuzzy, with Manson only briefly mentioning the film  involved a gun, bloodshed, Weiss being tied up, a fight, and other things Dick would only describe  as "...things that m

aybe we shouldn't discuss." Worse still, it's unclear exactly how  much both Wiess and the party guests were aware of what was going to happen. Some  sources report that both Weiss and the guests knew very little of what was to happen,  while others report that effectively the entire thing had been scripted. Manson  himself recalls guests being frightened because they couldn't tell if what they were  seeing happening to Wiess was real or not. Despite all of this, Manson wanted  to release this f

ilm to the public, reportedly to showcase one of his first ventures  into filmmaking. But upon seeing it, Tony Ciulla, Manson's manager at the time, implored  Manson not to release it, reportedly saying: "Please hide the masters. If anyone sees this  you'll go to jail and your career will be over." But it appears Manson did elect to keep the  masters, as he released a short portion of "Groupie" on his 1998 video album "Dead  To The World". In these brief 48 seconds, Manson looks and grimaces at

the camera, before  cutting to what appears to be Manson tormenting Wiess and forcing her to say "Jesus loves me for  the Bible tells me so.", before suddenly ending. In 2016, Manson repeatedly hinted that Groupie  would be released on his Antichrist Superstar 20th anniversary box on October of that year. But  eight years later this box set, as subsequently Groupie, have yet to ever be released. Even today, there's still a lot of debate if Manson created Groupie to scratch some particular  itch

of his, or both Groupie and its story are simply PR stunts to add to his image as a "shock  rocker". But even still, and on a personal note, I find myself having a hard time ever justifying  why Groupie should be released. Even from the short descriptions and video, it appears that  not only is this just simply a disturbing thing to watch with little else redeeming qualifying,  but I would argue perpetuates the abuse in it by glorifying it for shock value. But that's simply  a matter of opinion

, and people may still have a morbid curiosity to watch it anyway. Regardless,  this film likely sits idly in some unknown location, its future remaining uncertain. #4 WWF Over The Edge (Owen Hart's Fall) Date Created: 1999 Owen Hart was a pro-wrestler for the WWF,  today known as the WWE. The World Wrestling  Federation was known for having professional wrestlers with eccentric personalities, exciting  stuns, and even storylines connected to the wrestlers. Hart was no exception, wrestling  und

er the name "Blue Blazer", a persona meant to be a strong but somewhat clumsy superhero. On May 23rd, 1999, Hart was in the Kamper Arena in Kansas City, Missouri for a match against Charles  Wright, otherwise known as "The Godfather", for the WWF's "Over The Edge" program. In keeping up with his persona, Hart planned for a notable entrance. From the rafters above  the arena, Hart was planning to be lowered down by a harness, which then would purposefully  give way a few feet from the arena flo

or. Hart would then land face-first for comedic effect,  and then assumingly stand up for the match. However, reportedly due to having tried to  adjust his costume, the harness had been triggered to release early. Hart proceeded to  fall 78 feet (or 24 meters) below. His chest landed on one of the top ropes, it then  violently flinging him into the ring. A medical team rushed onto the arena, but it  was simply too late. Hart quickly succumbed from internal bleeding, and it was publicly  announce

d just one hour later that Hart had died from his injuries. His last words were  reportedly "Look Out!" as he fell to his death. Surprisingly, and quite disturbingly, the WWF  not only elected to continue the event just 15 minutes after the incident, but continued anyway  even when Hart's death had been announced an hour later. Owen's wife, Martha Hart, had witnessed  the entire thing. According to her testimony, the ring still had traces of Owen's blood  and broken boards as the event went on.

"When Owen died, they scooped him out like a  piece of garbage and they paraded wrestlers out to wrestle in a ring that had Owen's  blood, where the boards were broken from Owen's fall and where the guys could feel  the dip in the ring from where he fell..." While Hart's death was witnessed by thousands  of live spectators, viewers of the broadcast would not see the tragedy. As it was occurring, a  pre-recorded interview with Hart was being played, before the camera faded back to  shocked announ

cers and a stunned audience who had just witnessed the fall. But, many of the cameras were still recording the ring, and Owen's fall had indeed been caught  and recorded. According to then-WWF announcer Kevin Kelly, the tape is currently sitting in  WWE's archives, with the explicit instructions of "Never to destroy, view or duplicate". Currently,  the closest footage available is the Spanish commentary of the event, which includes the  sound Hart's body made on impact on the rope. Months follo

wing the incident, Hart's family  would sue WWF in a wrongful death lawsuit. In this lawsuit, Hart's family would allege  the WWF did not have a stunt coordinator present for the stunt, did not have adequate  people harnessing Owen, and even parts of the harness itself were only meant to be  used for yachts and not for human use. This would eventually result in an $18 million dollar  settlement. Martha Hart would use some of this settlement to set up The Owen Hart Foundation,  which is still act

ive today and helps provide scholarships and housing for families in need. In 2014, the WWE would launch the WWE Network, which catalogued much of the organization's  content that it had produced during its lifespan. The service did indeed include the 1999 Over The  Edge Special but with any mention of the fall, including the aftermath and the announcement  of Hart's death, removed. This brief image commemorating Hart was also added before  the program. The WWE would also remove many mentions o

f the "Blue Blazer" character across  their programming, as well as commemorating him in both the 1999 video game "WWF Attitude" and in the tribute special "Raw Is Owen". Today, Owen Hart is still remembered as  one of the best wrestlers to grace the WWF, and his legacy is still carried both in  the ring as well as outside it. Yet still, his fall remains one of the most gruesome live  events to ever happen. Nearly 25 years after the fact, footage of Owen's fall has yet to  surface. And out of re

spect for Martha Hart, Owen's siblings, and all that  had to witness such an event, I think that's for the best. #5 Christine Chubbuck's Live Suicide (WXLT) Date Created: 1974 This next one I've saved for last, simply because this piece of lost media and the  story behind it struck an especially sad cord with me. And rather than glorify what became of  the incident we'll soon discuss, I'd rather focus on its story. Because not only is that story  incredibly interesting on its own, but I hope

can serve as a cautionary tale for those with  loved ones that may be showing similar signs. Christine Chubbuck, an American news reporter,  is widely regarded as the first person to commit suicide on live television. But more than that,  she was a real person. Growing up in Cleveland, Ohio and earning her degree in Broadcast  Journalism, she would eventually earn her own show on the small local channel,  WXLT, in Sarasota, Florida. In her show, called Suncoast Digest, she would feature small  b

usiness owners, local officials, and report happenings within the area. Though Suncoast Digest  was helping Chubbuck make a name for herself, it came with its struggles. Chubbuck reportedly  grew incredibly frustrated with the studio's constant and increasing pressure to report  what she considered "blood and guts" news, or news that focused on sensationalized violence  and crime. Likely with Suncoast Digest, and her reporting and life in general, Chubbuck wanted  to focus on more constructive a

venues. I believe this desire to better her community shined through  her volunteer work, where Chubbuck would entertain children with intellectual impairments at the  Sarasota Memorial Hospital, using homemade puppets that she would sometimes also use on her show. Leading up to her death, Chubbuck would show signs of what would eventually happen that sadly were  not clear until it was too late. Seemingly going against her firm stance against "blood and guts"  news, Chubbuck suddenly requested

to do a report on suicide. Reportedly for this, she had met with  the sheriff of the Sarasota Police Department to discuss which weapon, bullet, and location to  fire would result in a successful attempt. Also, a week before the incident, she made a comment  to then-WXLT-editor Rob Smith about killing herself on live television. Believing this  just to be a bad attempt at dark humor, Smith quickly changed the subject, as Chubbuck  had made similar morbid comments before. And finally, just two da

ys before the incident,  Chubbuck, not usually known for enjoying social gatherings, threw a large party at her home.  Craig Sager, a reporter for WXLT at the time and an attendee of the party, recalls expressing  joy for what he thought was Chubbuck "coming out of her shell". But, in retrospect, she most likely  saw this party as simply a "going away" matter. The morning of July 14th appeared to be normal  for Chubbuck. She reportedly stopped by her mother's home for coffee and told her to leav

e her  poodle, "Perspicacity", out in the yard. Saying goodbye and hopping in her yellow Volkswagen she  called "The Lemon", she drove to the studio. She told her mom she'd be back by 10:45. But,  of course, she never would make it home. Besides reportedly being in a brighter mood  than usual, Chubbuck seemed fine. As per normal, she greeted her guest for the day, along with  his wife, into the studio. But suddenly, she announced she would need to prepare a script and  report it before today's e

pisode. She had never done this before, but her colleagues trusted  in her anyway. After preparing this script, she sat across her normal interviewing area,  also a departure from her usual show. And in a shopping bag under the desk, wedged between two of her  homemade puppets, laid a .38 caliber pistol. After covering three national news stories  she transitioned to a report of a shooting at a local restaurant, only for the video for the  story refused to play. According to Jean Reed, one of th

e camerawomen recording what in  seconds would become one of the most gruesome moments in television history, Chubbuck  simply smiled and said her last words: The following is widely believed to be the  real audio of the incident, including the shot itself. Again, if you are uncomfortable with this  material, please skip forward to 27:20 now. In a moment's instant, Chubbuck had shot herself  behind the right ear. She immediately slumped over the desk, her body quivering before  eventually fallin

g to the floor. At first, those at the studio simply believed she had pulled  a cruel stunt. Reed hastily cut the feed to black, and recalls crying out to Chubbuck for what she  thought had been a bad joke. Reed ran furiously to Chubbuck, only to discover blood beginning to seep  from Chubbuck and pool unto the desk. Dann Lunin, WXLT's chief engineer rushed over shortly after,  also believing it to has been a joke. Instead, he finds half of Chubbuck's face had  been shot off. Finally, Linford Ri

ckard, the formal operations manager of  WXLT, perhaps in a state of shock,   recalls trying to scrap Chubbuck's remains off  the desk, his tears mixing in with the blood. In that paper Chubbuck had written just a  little before, not only had she written down   the suicide itself as she planned, but how it was  to be reported on, which indeed was broadcasted as so: "The women host of a local television broadcast in Sarasota Florida this morning pulled out a gun and shot herself in the head while

the program was on the air." "Thirty-year-old Chris Chubbuck is in critical condition tonight" On July 15th, 1974, Chubbuck was pronounced dead  at Sarasota Memorial Hospital, the same hospital she volunteered at. Her ashes were spread  in the Gulf of Mexico three days later. So, the question we now have to ask is "Why?" The  only one that knows that answer for certain was Chubbuck herself, but we can assume it was  at least for a mixture of reasons. For one, even at a young age, Chubbuck strug

gled with  depressive symptoms. Former classmates and family recall she often struggled with being  in depressive moods and relating to others, which likely carried on into her adult life. It's  also commonly reported a major contributor to her suicide was the inability to find a meaningful  dating life, despite her efforts. Reportedly, Chubbuck sought George Peter Ryan, a fellow  coworker at WXLT, for romantic attraction. However, this love would go unrequited, as George  Peter Ryan was already

dating someone else at the time. Throughout the years, Chubbuck's  other attempts to find a partner would prove unsuccessful. Worse still, around the same time  of Chubbuck being rejected by George Peter Ryan, Andrea Kirby, one of Chubbuck's closest and  few friends, was moving away to Baltimore to continue advancing her broadcast career. This  likely made Chubbuck feel more alone than ever. And finally, while certainly not the sole reason  for what she did, Chubbuck reportedly had a large figh

t just the night before with news director  Mike Simmons of a story of hers being cut for one of a shooting. While of course just speculation,  this may have been the thing to tip her off. These reasons, combined with many others,  likely led to that fateful day. Suncoast Digest would continue for a few years later,  before finally being put off the air. And so, now we have to ask what became  of the footage. At Chubbuck's request, her report, and subsequent suicide, had indeed  been recorded. R

eportedly, she wanted her suicide to be well-seen, even having it broadcasted  internationally. But following Sarasota's Police's Investigation, both the master tape  and an additional copy were seized from WXLT, and later given to Chubbuck's surviving family.  Chubbuck's family was also granted an injunction against WXLT to prevent them from releasing it.  In the decades that followed, it was assumed that Chubbuck's family had destroyed the tapes, making  the footage completely gone. However, i

n February 2016, Greg Chubbuck, Christine's brother, stated  that "No one knows where..." the footage is, implying the family didn't destroy it after  all. And then, in June of the same year, it was revealed that WXLT's then-owner Robert Nelson had  somehow been able to keep a copy of the footage, confirming the tape still existed. Upon his death,  Nelson's wife then inherited the tape. But after being repeatedly requested for the footage,  she then passed it off to what has only been described

as a "very large firm" for reportedly  "safekeeping". Since then, it's assumed the tape sits there at that firm, tucked away somewhere in  its storage. In 2017, what was being passed off as real footage of the suicide surfaced, appearing  to show the incident in its entirety. However, Gordon Galbraith, a news reporter for WXLT and  a witness to the suicide themself, confirmed in this Facebook post that it indeed was fake. And, we haven't gotten to the idea of someone recording it at home. It's

believed that  around 500 people were watching the broadcast that day. And while it would not become popular  for over a decade later, home recording was at least possible at the time, such as with the  U-TAPE. Though extremely unlikely, especially with something that was supposed to be a relatively  mundane broadcast on a small news station, there stood a chance of it being home recorded. In 2021, YouTuber Ataliste had obtained the audio of the incident, getting it from someone only  described

as a "private collector". If this "private collector" was someone who just happened  to record it at home, or had somehow gotten the tape from someone related to the incident, is  currently unknown. But regardless, audio of two minutes leading to up the suicide, including her  final words and the shot itself, are available on YouTube. Whether the video itself will ever be  recovered will have to be seen, but for the sake of Chubbuck's family, I truly hope it isn't. As a final note, I would like

to introduce one final question: "Why did she decide to do it  that day?" Again, that question will never be answered for sure, but I think I found at  least part of the answer. Chubbuck is often noted as seeing her family as one of her only  real close connections. She was reportedly very close to her Grandparents, who would watch each  of her broadcasts. Due to a doctor's appointment, Chubbuck's grandparents would not be able to see  the show that day. And personally, I think that's a large p

art of why she did it then. Because even  with such a violent and public display, she still didn't want those that she loved to see it.  But of course, that is simply my speculation. And so, we have reached the end of our journey  for this video, and only just the surface of the mountains of disturbing lost media similar  to what we have seen. Again, many find the purpose of lost media to be the journey of finding  what's been lost. And that maybe will make people find this lost media anyway. Bu

t considering  the extraneous circumstances of the pieces we have seen, I sincerely hope it doesn't. Thank you for watching. Good night.