"I, Hemlata Mansukhlal Dholakia" This is a public place, Hemlata. Don't overdo it. "You're a handsome young man… I'm a fair, delicate female. You are my secret password… and I am your email." -Superb!
-Superb! "Type "Mansukhlal"
and my heart gets smacked. You are the antivirus that prevents me from getting hacked." -Wow!
-Superb! Wait, I have more. "I am a rickety car, you are my diesel. I thirst for you, my dear…" Ramesh, wait up.
Come back here. Ramesh, wait up.
Come back here. -I won't.
-Come
back… No, I won't! What if someone here has gas or acidity? Be right there. You find it funny? My son is moving out -and you're laugh--
-Dad… Why, Sanju? Why are you crying, son? I'm his father, Papa. You wouldn't know a father's love… -Right!
-Correct. Isn't it? Sanju! What was that event at Aryan's school? What was it? STD? PCO? Grandma, it was a PTM,
parent-teachers meeting. Right, PTM. -Did you attend it?
-No. Because Mom already-- Because for PTM you have this ATM. ATM? Anytime-mother-in-l
aw. You! Fool! Come on, Baa. This poor girl always-- "Poor girl"? Single malt can solve everything. Tell me, what's your problem? Hello, son-in-law? Where is Falu? I've been trying to reach her. We are together. What is it? Wear your white doctor-coats and come over, both of you. -I'm about to commit suicide.
-Right now? Do you expect me to wait
for an auspicious time? -Okay, we're coming.
-Come. -Mom?
-Yeah. She's threatening to commit suicide. -Again?
-Yeah. -Driver,
-Sir! turn the car around
to
the suburbs, Bandra. Do you know where my mother's house is? No, ma'am. It's my first day today. Show him a photo. Yes. Come on, Baa. Calm down. Look… Kwamboka is an educated
and beautiful lady-- -Beautiful?
-Of course, she is beautiful. Beautiful! Judging someone… for their ethnicity is not fair, Baa. Tell me something… how are beauty… and color of the skin related? Bang on, Mom! Even though you and Sheela Auntie are
as fair as Santa's *** Does it make them beautiful? What is so funny, my de
ar son-in-law? I used to be a bomb when I was young. Ask him. Yeah. Look… this is Suresh's wife. Sheela says she looks hot. Pallavi thinks she's beautiful. That fool Suresh calls her
"caramel custard"! What do you think of her? I don't like her, Baa. Here, have some. I like simple, ordinary people like you. -Dad…
-Yes? -what exactly are you looking at?
-There… Hope it's not our neighbor
Neelu Auntie's petticoat! -Neelu doesn't wear a petticoat.
-Wait, what?! -What?
-What! -How do you know?
-What
?! She wears "salwar-kameez" … -and also a…
-Yeah, right. Did you see, Ramesh pays
so much attention to Neelu! -Right, Papa?
-No, I… Of course, men will be men! I'm not a man. What? Since when? I am a man… but I'm not a "men will be men"
kind of a man. Madam, if she has girls,
you should name them -Maddakkodi and Maddakkilli.
-Yes! They are quite modern names. Excuse me? Just imagine, Tisca… Maddakkodi and Maddakkilli. Maddakkodi and Maddakkilli,
get ready for school Maddakkodi and Maddakkilli,
go for your bath. Maddakkodi and Maddakkilli… Her mouth will swell up! You're right. These names are very complicated. Names should be simple… like Pallavi, Ayushi, Aryan. If you have girls, we'll call them… Dhattrika and Dhittrika. Simple. Wow! Epic, Mom. Let's call them
"Dhat-teriki and Hat-teriki" instead! It'll sound like a dance class
is going on at home! What? Dhattrika and Dhittrika,
get ready for school. Dhattrika and Dhittrika, eat your food. Dhattrika and Dhittrika!
Dhattrika and Dhit
trika! -Great!
-Great! You did it so nicely,
"Dhattrika-Dhittrika"… It's decided… French letter? Stop asking so many questions. French letter means ****** Gents' balloon! Why is he buying them? To fill them with air and put them up
at a birthday party! Why do you want to know? What do you mean… Wait a minute. Gregory… your wife has gone to London. Why are you buying a cap? -Uncle…
-Hemlata! This tablet is to get the train… up and running, isn't it? Why do you need it? Are you having an affair? W
ho is that fool? A prostitute? I will tell Michelle. -I will tell--
-Auntie, Michelle is back. Hi, Auntie Hemlata.
How are you? Hi. Your Gregory is getting ready
for a "program". Bye.
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