Memories of Michael Jackson's Moonwalker

it began with a dream a fitful night of sleep that brought with it not rest but a Cavalcade of bizarre images children dressed as Street tffs expressing their youthful Urban anguish through Dance The Familiar raven-haired showman locked in btic battle against a twisted demon in the freakish form of an exaggerated bunny that same showman now transfigured into a metallic monstrosity of death waging wanting destruction on a fascistic regime oh as the Rays of the early morning sun crept into my room

slowly pulling me away from the clutches of Slumber I was left with a feeling of dread not from the dreams nay dreams are fleeting but from the knowledge that my dreams weren't dreams at all they were memories Somewhere In The Deep recesses of my mind a faint echoed as my morning cup of hot brown drives the final remnant of fog from my mind I begin my research SE Arch searching for proof that the machinations of my subconscious had not been just that but rather tactile and real luckily a quick

query of the Internet Movie Database delivers the much sought-after information not a dream but a film moon walker a quick perusal of the trivia section tells me the film isn't available physically in my region I must take to streaming it appears the film is only available on Amazon Prime but to view it I must pay the high price of .99 surely a price too high to be paid for a beloved song and dance man's vanity project I consider my options success for the free I watched the film its vast array

of nonsensical imagery washing over me consuming me it begins straightforward enough a concert performance one of Michael Jackson's most inspirational hits man in the mirror a wide call for social change that puts the onus on the individual for a Smoky the Bear foretold only you can prevent forest fires as the king of of Pop performs on stage clips of fans and the throws of ecstasy and Mania accompanying highlights of the song and dance man's Infamous career as the song concludes Jackson strikes

a Messianic pose a promise of salvation for his fans or perhaps foreshadowing for a coming Resurrection only time will tell from there the film moves into a dedicated retrospective of the singer's career a collection of groundbreaking music videos enhanced by what at the time must have been Cutting Edge special effects and clamation the sequence is dazzling I slowly be to understand exactly what this film is a musical mood piece blissfully free from narrative meant to appeal to Jackson's admire

rs while thrilling the masses with sheer spectacle and undeniable jams I Ponder whether Jackson approached the curation of Music in the same manner as ponnie's own social climber and business magnate Tom haford every song I download has to pass a series of rigorous tests to answer one simple question is it a banger how many bees per minute how many drops how dope are the drops the collection of videos concludes with yet another concert performance this time of one of the singer's most sexually s

uggestive songs Dirty Diana as Jacko struts and gyrates his hips thrusting suggestively I turn away whether from disgust or intimidation of the man's raw Sexual Energy I know not what's this perhaps I missed something while my gaze was averted the song abruptly ends and transforms into what can only be the bad music video well not like a music video that is bad but the bad video that features blade himself Wesley Snipes as an antagonistic for for the King of Pop A Street Hustler who remains unco

nvinced of Jackson's level of Badness you ain't down us no more you ain't down you ain't bad you ain't bad you ain't bad you ain't nothing he's really bad but alas something's a Miss for this isn't the video helmed by Ur and Cinema gatekeeper Martin Scorsese but a mockery the same Urban drama recreated aesthetically but in place of the adult performers children Jackson's greatest love allegedly his greatest downfall you you can't prove anything the bad video admittedly humorously titled batter c

oncludes with our cast of youths leaving the car park stepping through some sort of transformative mist and coming out of the other side changed the Folly of Youth forgotten and in its place a man infamously robbed of that very same thing Michael Jackson Michael and his Entourage are immediately set upon by a gagle of fans and Paparazzi but as is quickly becoming apparent with this cinematic Folly something is a Miss for these are no ordinary admirers but claim monstros I ities that immediately

set upon Jackson except for in the scenes where it would have been particularly expensive and timec consuming then they're just actors and cartoonish masks a Chase ensues with the gloved on seeking refuge in the prop Department Jackson quickly peruses the shelves his eyes setting upon the disturbing countenance of the bunny from my Visions it's as the prophecy foretold Jackson Don the bunny mask and is once again transformed now he is the bunny this can't be right in the vision Jackson battled t

he demon he wasn't the monstrosity himself I brace myself for what tricks this part particular picture has in store for me now disguised as the demon Jackson exits the prop building dodging his monstrous fans just when it looks as if he's going to escape he blows his own cover busting out a series of smooth dance moves befitting the King of Pop the chase is renewed as the opening notes of Speed Demon begin to play what ensues can only be described as a clamation iteration of Wacky Racers with bu

nny Jackson transforming into topical celebrities of the era in order to throw off his pursuers bunny Jackson successfully evades them taking to the desert where he discards his disguise it's not long before Jackson returned to human form is accosted by the demon from my vision a relationship once symbiotic has become antagonistic Jackson and the bunny who I will later discover his name Spike engage in a furious dance battle but the speed demon proves no match for wacko Jacko and is quickly disp

atched by Jackson's Furious special effects enhanced spin unfortunately for Jackson as with all things Spawn from the bowels of Hell the demon has yet another trick up his sleeve absconding before a lone police officer appears in time to find Jackson for dancing in a no dancing Zone IMDB credits this officer as being none other than beloved character actor Clancy Brown but is a lifelong fan of The Man Behind Lex Luther Mr Krabs Captain Hadley and Kelvin Inman I don't recognize him at least not u

ntil he speaks I need your autograph right here his voice they just overdubbed the actor's voice with Clancy Browns why that's so weird the segment ends with Jackson dejected retreating to his motorcycle just as the demon once more rears his ugly head transforming a nearby rock face into his um face he grins at Jackson as we Fade to Black yet another once black man railroaded by the justice system once more any hint of narrative is quickly abandoned and retreated once again to another Banger of

a Michael Jackson video Leave Me Alone the lone Grammy award-winning track from Jackson's Bad record a surreal exploration of the star's toxic relationship with the media and his fans say what you will about Moonwalker a film that is quickly proving to be a cinematic abortion this track this video bangs but alas our reprieve is shortlived as the film transitions into the segment that will make up the bulk of its runtime a segment that will generate one of Jackson's finest music videos Smooth Cri

minal but will also Deliver Us Joe peshi and an unfortunate ponytail as the antagonist of the film Frank Leo the segment opens on a trio of children one of whom is portrayed by John Lennon's son sha Lennon it would appear it wasn't enough for Jackson to pillage the Beatles discography with the purchase of their music rights but he had to pillage their children too not like that don't get me demonetized the children seek out Master Michael oh God and find him inexplicably transformed into a 1930s

gangster Jackson observes a shooting star seconds before a volley of gunfire interrupts his rivy the singer appears to dodge but his fate is left a mystery as the film inexplicably flashes back to a nondescript field where Jackson and the trio of children joyously play soccer their fun is interrupted when their dog hijacks the ball and flees Jackson leads one of the children the young girl into the woods while the boys hang back it's uh probably for the best Jackson and the young girl soon stum

ble across what at first appears to be an ancient ruin but turns out to be a Hightech criminal Lair what the why would a villain disguise his lair as an ancient ruin how is that any less conspicuous than a high-tech Lair why isn't any of this making sense the lair in question belongs to pes's aforementioned Leo who seemingly plans on flooding the globe with bugs and drugs bugs and drugs bugs and drugs smooth operation that's why who the hell knows Michael and the little girl are soon discovered

and the film Cuts back to the assassination attempt Jackson's ass salant are revealed the squad of futuristic Storm Troopers for my vision led by none other than pes's Leo Jackson escapes and another Chase ensues the gloved one valiantly gives Leo's men a run for their money but he's ultimately cornered as they close in for the kill Jackson observes yet another shooting star salvation Michael's face contorts agonizingly as his bones shift and crack our eyes are spared the horror of the transform

ation the camera turning away to a shadow on the wall a shadow that conveys what can only be the horrendously painful conversion from man to metal what the a car he can turn into a car but not just any car the Lancia Stratos zero a concept car clearly chosen to evoke imagery reminiscent of Back to the Future as if to sell the point home Otto Jackson takes off in a burst of flame you would think the chart topping singer and the writer behind Superman's 1 2 and 3 would be able to come up with some

thing a little more original than this but here we are for the moment Michael escapes transforming back into his human form just in time to Rendevous with his beloved children the children transfixed by Michael satanic transformation do not make their presence known as Jackson enters a nearby club club 30s an establishment the children had confirmed with long abandoned moments prior Jackson seemingly works his witchcraft once more for what was once abandoned is now filled with apparitions go gho

sts from a violent age men women and stereotypes who no doubt met brutal ends with pinpoint accuracy Jackson tosses a coin into the Jukebox and the music video for Smooth Criminal begins as previously mentioned this video absolutely bangs despite the fact that I've never actually understood what it was about I think someone named Annie was killed by a criminal of the smooth variety but why does the protagonist of the song keep asking if she's okay when she's clearly dead what does the gangster t

heme have to do with anything and why does the song stop in the middle so Jackson and the club of murdered thugs can have what can only be described as a clothed orgy well at least the children are involved It ultimately doesn't really come together which is why despite being badass the video will always remain second in comparison to Thriller that song knew how to stick to its theme the video nears its conclusion as Jackson is once again said upon by Leo's men he's unfortunately too busy bustin

g out a sick Groove to notice them surround him even even worse he doesn't notice as the militia wrap their evil clutches around the girl Katie no Jackson flees the club and is reunited with the children they inform him of Katie's kidnapping the king swears Vengeance I go see what I can do you'll see for all of Jackson's Bluster he almost immediately walks into a trap set by Leo how he found him I have no idea I think they're just trying to insinuate that Jackson and the children followed his tr

ail of peanut shells which is stupid but hey so is the rest of this movie Jackson is immediately surrounded by Leo's men before being confronted by Leo himself with Katie and toe Leo engages in several instances of light child abuse which is pretty up for a concert musical project when you think about it before turning his eye around Jackson as well just when things are at their bleakest Jackson observes yet another highly convenient shooting star though this time rather than wishing for mere Es

cape for himself and the children he prays for something else something worse murder in an admittedly impressive yet rather creepy special effect sequence Jackson is transformed into Mecha Michel a robotic monstrosity of death that begins to lay waste to Leo's militia as the men are slaughtered Leo Retreats deep within his base only to reappear moments later at the helm of a Mountainside death Cannon why and how this drug dealer had access to a Mountainside death cannon in his left a mystery nor

do we ever understand why he had the forethought to build one I mean did he know he'd eventually go to war with a troubled pop icon who could turn into a giant robot and spaceship oh yeah I forgot to mention Michael's a spaceship now Leo frantically twists knobs and dials before blasting Mecca spaceship Michael with a powerful energy blast Michael caught off guard tumbles behind the ridge as Leo turns the massive gun on the children the kids mere moments away from being turned into Ash are save

d at the last second by Mecha spaceship Michael reemerging in the nick of time to violently dispatch Leo with energy fueled by one of his classic vocal just culations did did that spaceship just scream in a moment reminiscent of ET Mecha spaceship Michael seems to give one final gesture to his gaggle of child groupies groupies doesn't necessarily have a sexual connotation before departing Earth immediately colliding with yet another shooting star and dying what why did he have to die he didn't d

o anything wrong he wasn't atoning for anything I mean I understand ripping off ET but ET didn't die at the end of the movie he just left Earth it seems like an unnecessary wrinkle like a hat on a hat my question is soon answered for one cannot resurrect if one does not die making good on the Phoenix Arc set up at the beginning of the film we once again meet our child protagonist at a later point in time grieving over Michael's death I can assume the trauma of being kidnapped and beaten by the g

uy from Good Fellas and Home Alone unable to let go Katie fleas the group her teddy bear in hand before Wishing on a papier-mâché version of Michael's Lucky Star which I don't ever remember the film introducing before this but this thing's so terrible I don't want to have to rewatch the movie in order to confirm at Katie's wish Michael who's apparently also Jesus in addition to being a car Robot spaceship man unites the children and returns to Club 30s the club is once again transformed this tim

e into a concert venue Michael reunites the children with their missing dog who at this point I can only assume has been gone for months before stepping on stage and performing a version of The Beatles classic song come together because that's what Michael Jackson fans want to hear when they go to a concert the Beil the concert brings the film to a merciful close the credits roll to a spirited rendition of a song entitled the Moon is walking by Lady Smith black momazo who prior to this film I on

ly recognized as a reference from a Family Guy episode wait a minute are you telling me I just sang Lady Smith black momazo for nothing did it kill you to be Multicultural for a minute I I died a little Inside Yes clips from the film play during the performance before the credits suddenly stop just so they can start again only this time to the tune of Smooth Criminal more credits roll over the video which has now been sped up so it's different this time I guess I mean at this point the dude had

a career that spanned over 20 years it's not like he ran out of Music why repeat the same song over the credits even this film's credits don't make any sense as my confusion builds so does my rage before I can stop myself and to no one in particular I rise from my chair and scream I take to the internet surely the answers to my questions Li there I search the usual haunts the IMDb trivia section in the Ironclad resource that is Wikipedia but come up empty nothing there but superficial informatio

n release dates a plot synopsis box office and home video sales results no answer as to why the most talented Jackson thought a film where he turns into a spaceship Jesus figure was a good idea exasperated I turned to YouTube jackpot with only a few keystrokes and a couple of mouse clicks I stumble across another pre ious resource a British behind the scenes making of Moonwalker video uploaded by someone called naon so 68 Jackson who I'm assuming is some sort of Michael Jackson super fan the eve

r reclusive Jackson is an elusive figure in the documentary as well rather the piece focuses on others involved in the project David Newman the writer Colin chivers the director and none other than Jackson's longtime manager Frank Deo wait Dilo Leo Jackson you son of a [ __ ] Dilo explains that the film was almost entirely produced by Jackson in fact he seems quite intent on making sure that everyone out there knows that he had nothing to do with a nonsensical narrative so he had complete contro

l however nowhere in the documentary has it ever explained why Jackson felt compelled to make the film why his fans Paparazzi and that demonic bunny are depicted in clamation why he hangs out almost exclusively with children why he becomes a freaking robot no As I lie there on my knees I remember I have children and probably parent them at some point the research must stop but if the research ends so do the answers I slowly realize that I'll never understand Moonwalker never understand why it ex

ists never understand why film Legends Robert dairo and brle peek were on the set of the Smooth Criminal video yet never appear in it I mean do Travis ble you rock my world's super fan did attakus Finch just really love PYT that's freaking weird though I initially sought answers I'm only left with questions and haunted by memories memories of moon walker oh