Dad, Mom-- Mm-hmm? --I don't lie
anymore literally ever. But back in the day I probably
lied a lot when I was younger, like a couple months ago. And so-- [CHUCKLING] --I'm so different now. And I want to see if
you're good at telling whether or not I'm
lying in a game people call Two Truths and a Lie. Here are three things. You tell me which
one is the lie. I once got arrested
for skinny dipping. I used to steal your
cigarettes, Mom. I paid $7,000 for a signed
Taylor Swift guitar. I say it's the
$7,000 guitar. I agree. [DINGING] Yeah, it was five. Oh! [CHUCKLES] That's just as bad. And it wasn't even-- she
didn't even sign the guitar. She signed a piece
of plastic that they then taped onto a guitar
that she never even touched. One time in high
school, I hooked up with a boy in your bed. Oh, God. I know. I've had four
venti lattes today. I own 37 Taylor Swift T-shirts. I'm going to say you hooked
up in my-- no, that's not a lie. You probably did that. You do not own-- hold on. Hook up i
n the bed. It's the hook up in the bed. - You're right.
- I agree. I agree.
[DINGING] Yes. I didn't hook
up in high school. - I know.
- [LAUGHS] - Well--
- That's right. That's right. My favorite form of birth
control is the pull-out method. I shoplift little things
sometimes to feel alive. To soothe myself to sleep at
night, I watch videos of people having their foot
calluses shaved down. We know that's true. Let's see.
The first one-- - You shoplift little things.
- You shoplift. That's a lie.
No, no, no. What's the second one again? Shoplifting little things
sometimes just to feel alive. What's the first one? Like not big stuff,
just like packs of gum that no one would really miss.
- OK. What's the other one? My favorite form of birth
control is the pull-out method. That's the lie. I wish it were.
[BUZZER] I don't steal. I got caught stealing
when I was 18, and I've never stolen again. Yeah. You're banned for life
from Urban Outfitters. No, I was banned
for three years. For three ye
ars. Oh my god, they
gave you three years? So now you go
all the time again? Yeah, I go back. [LAUGHTER] I'm making up for lost time. [LAUGHTER] We learned a lot. Yeah, we did. We really have,
more than I wanted to. Well, you want to
know a real hard truth? Yes. My new show-- your new show too-- "Welcome Home Nikki Glaser?" premieres tonight only on E! So do not miss it. And if you do,
just lie about it. I don't want to know.
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