[ Cheers and applause ]
-Wow, that is great. Guys, welcome
to "The Tonight Show." Settle down. You're gonna cause
another earthquake. Gosh, it was a wild day here
in New York City. New York City got
our biggest earthquake in over a century. Yeah, well,
everything was shaking. Times Square Elmo was like,
"Whoa. The drugs are hitting
different today." No one was ready
for an earthquake. The last thing
New Yorkers expected to see this morning was
the Statue of Liberty twerking. That's -- [ He laugh
s, beat plays ] [ Cheers and applause ] But this is good --
Is that twerking? [ Laughs ] But this is good. The NYPD said that
the earthquake did not cause any damage to the subway. Yeah, apparently, all that
damage was there before, so. What a week it's been,
New York. On Wednesday,
we had floods. Today,
there was an earthquake. On Monday,
there's gonna be an eclipse. Craziest of all,
last night the Mets won. It's unbelievable. Unbelievable! We did it! Yes!
New York for the win! Yeah, the earthq
uake was
pretty wild, and after it happened, everyone's phones got
emergency alerts. Did you get that, too?
Yeah. Check the -- First, it said... Yeah, then it said... Then it said... And finally, it said... Yeah. Here's what I was doing
during the earthquake. I just finished my card tower. Now to take a sip of champagne
while admiring my fine China. [ Rumbling ] Whoa! Was that an earthquake?
Crazy. -Dude!
Did you feel that earthquake? -Yeah.
-I'll see you out there. Remember that? No.
-Did I do
that? -Meanwhile, the local news
has been covering the earthquake non-stop, and it seems like everyone
has asked the same question. Watch this. You kind of just have to ask
everyone, hey, did you feel it? Did you feel it?
-I didn't feel it at all. Susan, did you feel it?
-We did not. -More importantly,
did you feel it? -Did you guys feel it
this morning? -Did you feel it a lot?
-Did you feel it? -Did you feel it?
-Did you feel it? -Did anybody feel it?
-Did you feel it? -Do you know anybody
who
felt it? -None of us felt it.
We felt left out. -Did you feel it? But, fellas, if you have to ask,
the answer's probably no. -Feel it. Twerk. -Uh, well, guys, as I mentioned,
the solar eclipse is on Monday, and a lot of companies
are trying to get a piece of the publicity. I saw that Moon Pies came up
with the special edition treat. I saw Sun Chips has
a new bag of chips, but some other brands tried
to get in on it too, and they seem kind of desperate. -Really?
-Yeah. For instance,
Tito's said..
. -Ah! [ Rim shot ] -Whoa!
-[ Laughs ] Next up, Planet Fitness said... I only -- After that, Boeing said... Then Toys R Us said... Next up,
Vibram Five Finger Shoe said... And finally, Trojan said... And there you go. [ Cheers and applause ] -[ Laughs ] -Well, guys, I know it seems like an eclipse is
simply the moon blocking the sun for a few minutes, but it's
actually pretty complicated. So to simplify things, we put
together this educational video. Enjoy. -What if we could give you
an incredib
ly easy way to remember all the complex
terminology surrounding the upcoming solar eclipse? Would that be worth a dollar? [ Upbeat music plays ] So what is... Am I singing
in a foreign language? [ Laughs ] No. We've taken all
the key terminology surrounding the upcoming eclipse and
compressed them into a single, ridiculously easy to remember
portmanteau made up of... So sing it with me. Everybody now. ♪ Syniterdracmonth ♪ ♪ Syniterdracmonth ♪ ♪ Syniterdracmonth ♪ ♪ You learned it here on TV ♪ -T
hat's so much easier.
-Now I got it. You guys, get this.
I read that Black and Decker has recalled 2 million steamers
because they can expel, spray, or leak hot water during use. So be careful.
Your steamers might be... steamers. That's why I bought it. What's supposed to do?
Some entertainment news. It was just announced
that "Toy Story 5" is coming out in 2026. You can tell Andy is getting
a little old because he spends the whole movie turning
his toys into bongs. "Look, it's Bong Lightyear."
Yeah. In this movie, 40-year-old Andy is asked
to leave the toy store because he's creeping
out the kids. And finally, guys, yesterday, a Southwest Airlines flight was
about to take off from Texas when one of its engines
caught on fire. It was scary, but thankfully all
the bathrooms overflowed and put everything out. We have a great show.
Glen Powell is here. Christian Slater is joining us, and we got music
from Arlo Parks. Let's go read some
thank you notes, everybody. Guys, today is Friday. Th
at's usually when I catch up
on some personal stuff. I check my inbox,
I return some e-mails, and of course,
I write out thank you notes. And I was running a bit behind. Do you mind if I write them? Thank you so much.
James Higginson, thank you note writing music,
please. [ Thank you note writing music
plays ] Yeah. He's happy.
Happier than normal. Hyped up from the earthquake.
-Yeah. -Yeah. He got shook
by the earthquake. -He got totally shook.
You can tell. -I see you, James. They call him Sha
ky James.
-Yeah, Shaky James. -Shaky James on the keys,
everybody. [ Cheers and applause ] Jimmy Shakes. -Thank you, Earth, for switching your settings this
morning from silent to vibrate. Thank you, bald eagles,
or as bald eagles put it, "Um, can you just call us
eagles?" Thank you, Takis,
for answering the question, "What if Flamin Hot Cheetos
hurt?" -Takis.
-Thank you, spice racks, for making your spices
look like a live studio audience at a cooking show. -Cinnamon. -Thank you, weighted blank
ets, for helping me sleep
while making me feel like I'm getting X-rayed
at the dentist. -Beep beep beep.
-This is gonna save me from -- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. -It's gonna protect me
in all the -- Oh, yeah. Don't worry. Yeah. -Thank you, tennis balls, for being there
through every part of life. Mhm. Thank you,
random pickle spear that comes with my sandwich, for having -- for having
big "who invited her" energy. -Whoo! -Thank you, WrestleMania, for
giving out huge belts to people who don't w
ear pants. There you have it, everybody.
Those are my thank you notes. We'll be right back
with Glen Powell.
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