[Music] hey team Katherine Avery here I've been talking about habits this month and the focus has been on me building a meditation habit specifically using the Cal app in the mornings had this really interesting thing happen um in the last like 24 hours or so it's kind of been building up but now it's here and I wanted to talk about it because it fits in with the habits theme so first well you see in my workout gear because I'm doing this pretty late in the day it's um after 6 o'clock I'm about
to go cook dinner but I wanted to talk about this right now while it's fresh in my head because of ADHD and tomorrow I'm gonna forget and and time it would take me to write the notes down to do tomorrow's video I me as I'll do it now and then I'll just have it done so uh that's a great thing to do when you have ADHD if you can just take the time in the moment to get something done as long as you're not like interfering with anything really horrible like I don't have little kids at home anymore I
don't have to worry about dinner being on the table right away so okay so here's the story it's got a lot of moving Parts I'm going to start with you want to have to do one habit at a time I'm to the point now with meditation where I know that I'm meditating more mornings than not and by the way it's still a habit if you're mostly doing it if you break your streak for a day or two or you go on vacation or something but you come back and jump right back on the wagon and do it again it's still a
habit I'm going to preface it with one thing because I said on the wagon if you're dealing with an addiction or something that's a different ball wax I'm talking about habits habits that have to do with like things that are not um possibly lifethreatening or health threatening okay so these are Habits Like exercising it's not life-threatening if I don't exercise um I choose to exercise a good five days a week I don't exercise every day okay I still think I have a habit of exercising because I'm
in the habit of meeting my neighbor and walking and she's a part of the story too so she's been really helping me shift some of the ways I speak about things and she's been uh we're going through some big stuff on um the home front Bob and I are fine it's nothing terrible but there's just some stuff going on and it's interesting to see how um when we are trained as coaches to be curious and open and we ask all these questions of our clients and we ask them from a place of curiosity which is what
makes us good coaches right how we can forget to do that for ourselves in our own situations so um I've been working for the last couple days on really shifting this habit around the way I speak about things and being super curious about them specifically around these things that are very emotionally charged right okay that's what I'm talking about and that leads to that there's so many threads here so just bear with me I'm trying to like pull them all together because it all sort of is a mishm
ash at once so one of the things we do in one of my um coach approach continuing ed things uh classes is um which is Top by Cameron got and is um fostering mindful change it's fabulous it's all about uh being mindful around our our clients specifically in the world of ADHD and other neurod dicies neur neurodes yes I said they right okay he asks us as coaches to think we don't have to say what it is but to think about what is it how do we want to grow as coaches what's our learning Edge as coache
s what do we want to get better at doing as coaches and and um I'll talk about what mine is as a coach another day because today I'm talking about me he also asks us to think about how do we want to grow as people as human beings we become better coaches when we become better humans and so becoming a better human is me being more open and curious about things that are more emotionally charged that are closer to home that are not necessarily around my coaching because I'm already being open and c
urious in my coaching right but when we when they're emotionally charged and they're so close to home and they're about people we care about deeply and it's not that we don't care deeply about our clients it's just a different relationship we uh can struggle with staying curious and open or I can so that is the Habit I'm going to be working on how does that relate to one habit at a time well I've already feel like I've got the Calm app habit down the one that you've all have been tracking with m
e right meditation um and I feel like I'm ready to take on another new habit and by doing this what I'm finding is these is amazing things are happening so I met someone who said that she still uses the terminology of AD not just ADHD and she said her clients who don't have the H the hyperactivity of ADHD don't resonate with the word with the the expression ADHD they want they add because it doesn't include that so attention deficit disorder as opposed to attention deficit hyperactivity disorder
the way I've been trained as an ADHD coach is to say ADHD and then to um explain in attentive hyperactive combined type there's also impulsivity there's a lot that goes along with ADHD and if I hadn't started this curiosity practice my answer might have been you're wrong you're you're supposed to do this being curious means it was an opportunity for me to think huh should we as coaches be using language that helps our clients better understand that resonates with them and then maybe just save t
hat teaching thing for later and maybe not teach at all so because I was being curious and open I just listened and I said that's very interesting this is my neighbor trying to get me to say that's very interesting right so it was very interesting because it helped me think about things in a different way and um I'm really a little bit proud of myself right because I actually did this I was really actively working at this and then today in my other continuing ed course which is with um denel Bro
wn who is the founder of Coach approach training uh we take a class called coaching in action and when she asked at the end I'm looking for topics I said this situation happened I don't mention any names that's not how I roll and I said um she said I think that's a part of a larger topic and I said well maybe the larger topic is possibly how do we language things do we as coaches not stand on principle is not the word I'm looking for stand on ceremony and say well we've been trained to say ADHD
and attentive combin type hyperactive maybe we do say add because that helps our clients better understand and feel heard and feel um understood maybe uh we shift a lot of language so like we talk about ncrw naturally creative resourceful and whole maybe that doesn't resonate for some of my clients maybe there's different languaging that can resonate and so if we look at how we talk and how we ask questions and how we formulate things we could be more open and curious even more open and curious
than we already are right we could be able to be super present with our clients and hear what their language is and how they're using that language so just an interesting thing which is a very long-winded way to talk about the next um habit technique which is helps you which is to focus on changing one habit at a time so I am focused on this one habit which is being open and curious and the reason it's easier for me to actually do this habit is because I'm not trying to do 65 other habits at the
same time I'm not trying to change uh my eating right now I've got my eating down I'm not trying to add exercise to the mix I've got my exercise down I'm not trying to um do more followup with clients because I'm already doing the followup right this is just one habit that I'm trying to shift at this one time and uh I'm enjoying it it's fun it's it's it's it's interesting very funny it's interesting to go through life thinking wow that's interesting as opposed to getting all emotionally attache
d and in the drama and in and you know a little bit like not my circus not my monkeys right if we can step back in that moment and not get emotionally entangled how much will we learn how much will we have opportunities to have our eyes open to other ways of thinking that may not be the same as ours we can walk a mile in someone else's shoes right all right so today I'm going to encourage you to shift a habit and make maybe it's how you're out there in the world maybe you can start saying that's
interesting or how interesting or i' tell me more all right have a great day everybody I'm GNA go cook dinner
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