Ladies and Gentlemen. By imitating the vice of others, I have earned my misfortune. It is not my mode of thought, but the mode of thought of others that has led me to my failure. Gina! I'm going to put this file on render now, and I’ll show you the final film. Okay? Yeah. Okay, I think it's almost done. Come, come, come. It's almost right, just tell me when it's complete. I've finally found a very comfortable position. Baby it’s almost done, Come, come, come, come now. Gina! Come. What the fuck?
What the fuck is this? Shit! Oh Man! Gina! Baby just, Just come back. Please come back. I told you, call me once It's finished. But it's almost done. Please come to. Please come. Come, come. Sit. Wait, I'm going to re-render again it’ll just take 2 minutes and then we can watch it. I promise you, it's going worthed. Okay. Motherfucker! What the fuck is wrong with this shit man? Gina! Gina! Motherfucker! What the fuck is wrong with this machine man? Fuck, fuck. Fuck, Fuck, Fuck! So fucking tired
. Just so fucking tired. Fuck! Hello? Arsh? Sisterfucker render died again man! Fucking it’s the tenth time this happened man! Fuck! Fuck you! You know what? Fuck you machine! It did not work. You know what? Fuck you and fuck your advice. Go away sisterfucker! Stupid editor! Fuck Off! Just fuck off! Oh you’re awake? Baby, I think
I'm finally making some progress here. I think I found a solution to our little problem. Listen. Can you make me some coffee? Don't put any sugar... what? you’re travel
ling somewhere. I'm leaving. Huh? What do you mean, you're leaving? I can't do this right now. not in front of Samar. Sisterfucker! Gina! Gina c’mon man! I think. Can you just take it easy, Gina? Just. Just listen to me, okay? First of all, stop being so melodramatic. What happened? Even I figured a solution to my little problem. Just a minute. One second. What? What? What little problem? You Ronnie! You! Don't you get it? What is this life? I can live this college
dorm lifestyle that we have. I
'm sick of it. I can't. It's not college life man. This is our house. Well, this is not my dream house. I had a plan. I had a future plan for both of us. Look, where we are! It's a mess. It's like Jackson Pollock threw up in this house. I can't deal with this. Gina! Ok wait listen. I know you're upset. Okay? I know. and I don't blame you. But we’ll fix it. We always fix everything. Come here. Sorry, sorry, sorry! Really? Fix it. Fix what? What will you start with? This house. Our lives. Your fai
ling career? There’s so much to fix, It's almost funny now. Look, that's. That's really below the belt, okay? Okay. Yeah, I'll fix it. I'll fix this house. I'll fix us, my failing career. I'll fix everything Okay? Just Just need some time. That's it. Just trust me. I’ll fix everything. Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Okay, listen. Okay. Renders happening. You saw it’s happening, right? Gonna give it to the distributor he will send it to the OTT they'll sign the contract. Once the contract is done, we'
ll get the money right? once the advance comes in we are home free. And that's it. I got this! Baby, this is our dream life. It's a new beginning. Okay, stop being so melodramatic. Yeah. Go, go, go. Don't go. Ya ya! Don't go. I’m sure you have to go! I'll be right back Gina. Gina, just wait. Don’t go okay! Come on. Fucking render! Render, render, render! Fuck! Render! Render! Render! Fucking render! You’ve been told to sacrifice yourself. Wanna lose weight? They want obedient workers, obedient w
orker. People who are just smart enough
to run the machines and do the paperwork. And be just dumb enough to passively accept. All these increasingly shittier jobs with a lower pay. All you poor souls working with the pretentious smiles on your faces. Living the life you always dreamed of. I used to be one of you. At least, I tried to be for the longest time. But I couldn't do it. I just couldn't do it. I wanted to be something else. I wanted to create. I wanted to be a legend. Not an ant. Let m
e summarize my life for you. My life is like that of a loser. I'm in the dumps, both professionally and personally. I've gone from a 25 year old aspiring filmmaker, to a 35 year old loser who's struggling to keep his aesthetic and life relevant. “OPTIMIST” So what do you do when a 20 year old pseudo creative bitch tells you, Babe, you know what? I think you've lost the edge. In my head I'm like, Yeah, babe, I hope you find the edge and you jump off it. You know what she tells me? She's like, You
know what? Maybe you should stick to making those event AVs or selling some cheap
knockoff sneakers in some shop in Colaba. But frankly speaking, I know Nike and Adidas is exciting,
but you know what's more exciting? Nikke and Adibas. I would wear them. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you know what else she called me? She said, Babe, you know what you are? You're a fossil. Yeah, exactly. A fossil. I mean, I know chicks dig me, but fossil in my head, I was like, yeah, let me show you what a fossil can
do Bitch! Go for that long awaited holiday. Give your family the ultimate surprise. Aspiration is like the sun in the sky. You may not reach it,
but you can always look up at it and admire its beauty. Aspiration is an invention of the
marketing Gods to get us to buy more. Every offer, every scheme, every once in a lifetime plan. It's just a marketing gimmick Sale! Offer! 100% off, 50% off, 20% off. Everything is off! Don’t Miss This! Because if you love your wife you... Exactly. Here is a piece
of advice, the next time you shop. Shop all you want. But don't do this one thing
because these three words can destroy you. You know what those words are? Add to Cart. Exactly. Because the minute you press add to cart, they will email you, SMS you, call you. Hello Sir! What happen sir? so you had a problem checking in sir?
or checking out the products sir. Sir you didn’t like the product,
the product didn’t like you sir? Sir tell me sir, please buy it sir. Sir you don’t have money? I’ll give y
ou money sir. Sir please buy it sir! Sir please buy it sir! Sir my mother needs a kidney operation. Sir if you don’t have money, I’ll come and collect it from your home sir. Sir please sir! Buy it sir! Buy it sir! Please sir! Backoff! Fuck! First! Why don't you give me the refund for that fucking toaster that I bought in the Diwali sale. But, What do we do? *hums an Indian Ad jingle* Exactly. Oh, we are so fucked! “COMPANION FOR THE NIGHT” How do you even get a chance to get to know love, when t
he only time you meet a girl is through a dating app? Where you upload your best looking pictures hoping they don't see you as a married man trying to get laid or just a creep. Internet dating has made people more disposable. They're just too many choices, and we all want to be chosen. Those quirky bios and pictures don't really work, do they? But nothing prepares you for what follows
when you hook up with a girl without protection. Well, that's what you get for believing
your pull out game is s
trong. Not that I hate my kid or anything. It's just I would have liked the plan it a little better, you know? Or maybe I should have just carried a goddamn condom. Loneliness is the most terrible form of poverty. It's like a demon that you just can't fight. What is this life? Your failing career? Loneliness is life's worst irony. The fact that you're surrounded by
your loved ones and still feeling lonely It’s terrible. You may be living with the girl of your dreams or your lovely little daughte
r, but you still all by yourself. And in that utter loneliness you can't even dare to be yourself. You know, the greatest harm done to. human races is by writers, poets and cinema. I used to be an escapist, trying to find the missing pieces of my life in books and films. But then I stopped. I gave up on all my dreams. Dreams. The first thing you abandon, when you understand how life works. My kid. My innocent little kid. But innocent for how long? Kids grow up before you know it, and they turn l
ike everyone else. Sometimes even worse. Once you run out of money and the mothers breasts dry up, they will just ignore you. Maybe my daughter will grow up
to be just like her mother Inconsiderate. You hit these kids once for their own good, and they will retaliate when you're old. You know, old age is the saddest phase of life. I've been to those old age homes and you would think it's a fun place for them.
But really, they're just hoping to die before suffering the indignity of shitting their
pants. You know, there's a reason why these adult diapers are called “Friends” because they don't have any. And there's something about that stench
that is so unbearable. Right? It's this weird mixture of diapers and talcum powder. You know, if I really concentrate hard, that smell. It smells like. What's the word I’m looking for? Oh, yeah. Death. There is nothing poetic about death. You die. People throw dirt in your face and then worms eat you. I'm just glad it happens in that very order. Deat
h holds no answers. Death is not profound. Death is peaceful. Death is the only way out of this misery. It is the only solution to my little problem. So, ladies and gentlemen, I've come in possession of a cure for all my troubles. And this “Painkiller” comes in the form of a capsule. And this is a handy applicator. For best results, this capsule should be taken internally. Funny! how I always manage to fail.
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