Perfect | Comedy Short Film

[Music] we will be back after brief message from our sponsor now now why the long phase who was that it's me the tv no i'm a voice from above and i want to know why you're sad because i'm alone all these movies make love seem so easy love is easy i got something for you no way crazy voice i don't want any of your spooky magic suit yourself be old-fashioned whoa watch your footing there what are we doing here you're at soil mates the only provider for your perfectly grown soulmate these genetical

ly modified seeds from soil mates are made specifically for your needs as humans aren't they growing fast they sure are and they'll be just like me almost exactly like you but perfect let's find your perfect match [Music] can i call you mommy of course another happy family my work is done here my mom loves us because she knows you are grown perfectly so pick up your perfect seeds at soil mates today and make love growing seeds too close to each other inside the house or without sunlight any muta

tion or problem with your received is a direct result of your poor planting skills and swimming is illegal to kill a fully grown human after six months out of the soil refer to packaging and your lawyer for more details [Music] arthur wow they're they're going really well aren't they i'm gonna be the luckiest mother in a few days i've decided to commit oh i never thought of you as the type are you kidding being a wife and mother is so hot right now plus boyfriend seeds waste of time especially f

or women like myself yeah i found that out recently ah i thought i hadn't seen a man around your house in a while growing anything oh no i'm not ready for someone new you should always be ready for someone new do up your hair put on some nice clothes and grow yourself a new man people will talk if you don't start taking care of yourself oh i'm fine suit yourself you know the perfect seed is supposed to be amazing they're perfect seeds of course after all i deserve the best and so do you i got a

catalog if you want to see some options [Music] you might be ready sooner than you think [Music] [Music] ah oh [Music] just as true as the stars [Music] frankie and johnny went walking johnny in his [Music] the brain said frankie joe my johnny looked cute [Music] i love you and i can't live a day without you kiss me [Music] but he was [Music] oh hey patty oh hey gorge what happened to julianne i really thought she was the one for you yeah it just didn't work out sexy blondes you know i'm sorry b

reakups are hard what are you talking about they're the easiest thing in the world they got one of those perfect seeds grown out back yeah it should be coming up any day now already yeah why not you don't think that's a bit quick you know what nfl superstar wayne gretzky said if you don't pass the ball you can't score then again i guess you could run it anyway the point is after a while she becomes a number maybe you're right hmm hey potty i heard about bradley what an you deserve better you hea

rd about that huh [Music] good in men that he was her man [Music] oh why would anybody want that [Music] huh [Music] i think [Music] hmm [Music] hmm [Music] after all we deserve the best in other news the soviets have landed on the moon the newest applause the soviet success and looks forward to watching more landings keep it up good friends oh hi hi hi yes sign please thank you for using mailmates a division of conglomerates for all your mailing needs oh you missed a cooler [Music] now who's lu

ckiest martha aren't we cute susie this is patty she's our neighbor now what do you say hi is that the girl from the commercial limited edition only 100 of her made all right you can go back to playing what a joy [Music] dean honey why don't you go back to the house and start prepping dinner let the women talk for a bit it's the thing babe i'm so lucky things must be going well for you great it's been one hell of a week but i'm so glad that we could find the time to do this yeah me too haven't b

een here in a while your man's coming in nicely what kind of a seat is he oh he is a motivated business type so he has a secure job good future health benefits with dental oh that's a good one my man he's the athletic underwear model type you should see him without a shirt on susie no you're looking nice i'm glad you took my advice and started trying again oh well then i want people talking just wait until you're a man comes out of the ground you won't be sleeping awake if you know what i'm sayi

ng well when my man comes out of the ground maybe you and dean will have a little competition oh have you heard there's a new kazanova he's a whisp when it comes to romance and he [Music] women say that his style is exciting [Music] he drives the ladies can be [Music] [Music] for your manners [Music] my goodness are you cypher sore eyes [Music] will you marry me huh yeah yeah yeah [Music] [Music] yeah [Music] it's a beautiful name thank you i'm thomas tell me why all the girls adore you dinner w

as amazing darling i'll do the dishes [Music] you're the only one for me [Music] so i'll make dinner here we have the gourmet ham and cheese sandwich [Music] this [Music] i'm gonna be late for work [Music] what i never thought i'd find someone like you you really are perfect [Music] let's have kids it'd be an honor for you to be the mother of my children what i that's what you got from that no i don't well i just thought we were on the same page didn't you read the small print on my bag um a sma

ll print um [Music] you can't tell me none of these are cute as pictures yeah what about an athlete look at that comes fully equipped with discipline just what we need for a first song oh no i i do not need the noise oh the creative daughter i love it we could have the next audrey hepburn on her hands you're casted i honey i think there's enough drama around here as it is he looks just like you honey i think you're gonna be late for work you should go huh [Music] oh geez you're right we'll conti

nue this when i get back [Music] honey so how's the neighborhood's favorite couple that baddie do you have any sudden flaws oh yes honey you've got to crack the whip quick on those they only know so much when they come out of the ground so you have to be active in their learning if you don't like something let them know don't let them get away with any oops sometimes i forget i'm a mother [Music] why don't you want kids we don't have the budget [Music] you thought about getting a job [Music] [Mu

sic] what if we only plant one the perfect daughter enough i think i figured out how to solve all of our problems i threw this out oh that's where it went lucky for us gore's got plenty you know very well why we can't have a kid you said no because we didn't have the money so i stayed up all night reworking the budget and we can afford it if we work around the clock now i know how you feel about working but i did some research and there's an opening as a nighttime security guard down local five

and dad i got an interview you don't have to worry about anything i'll take care of it all it'll be the easiest kid you have to have don't they teach you that no means no i haven't heard that expression but it is a good one but i don't think it applies to the situation i mean don't you want a mini you running around no no i don't and do you really want two jobs or maybe it's the businessman in me i'm addicted to work oh when i see you when were these kids that so badly see you in between shifts

if i had to guess we haven't even had a wedding yet if you want a wedding i want a kid this isn't a negotiation what's the problem you don't have to work and i want a kid you know what's a great american saying win-win yeah no sure win-win you go to work and i'll just stay home with the screaming kids you know you are meant to be perfect i am perfect then why aren't you listening to me i'm cracking this whip goddammit i'm listening i'm just trying to compromise if we don't like him we just take

him over there and kill him hey it's going to be okay you are the most amazing person i've ever met i can't imagine spending a day without you [Music] we can do this thing as long as we have each other's backs [Music] i love you patty [Music] now can we go buy some babies i'm gonna futher the crap out of them [Music] oh hey patty what happened i thought he was the one for you oh he wasn't perfect enough and i deserved the best but that's okay i'm going to order another seed [Music] oh how's it g

oing martha oh you know it's been a bit hectic with uh dean working and this one i didn't realize models had schedules but we make it work it's totally wonderful yeah it sure looks like it you know i i do hope you're taking care of yourself though mom let's go we're gonna be late gotta run and that was everyone's favorite red suede shoes by ariana betty and now with our latest updates soilwig's new perfect seed series broke records and sales since it released earlier this season martin and victo

ria von slater co-creators of the perfect seed were crowned persons of the year solar mates is now valued in the bazillions and continues to spread love around the world looks like love's gonna last a little longer nowadays hey jim you said it right bobby in other news tana had developed a nuclear bomb [Music] you