Reading Strangers' Most Sorrowful Moments

after I picked up my daughter's ashes from the funeral I went home and ate some of them [Music] [Music] [Music] foreign I found one of my old suicide notes in My Father's Office she knew that I had Suicidal Tendencies but never talked to me about it or changed his abusive Behavior [Music] my biggest heartbreak was when my father passed away from cardiac arrest from shoveling the driveway after I was taken in in an ambulance for my suicide attempt [Music] I am dating Four Guys simultaneously to c

ope with my heartbreak that happened five years back I recognize that it's wrong but don't feel guilty about it yeah that's crazy four guys some kids in my class formed a WhatsApp hate group of my name a year back I recently found out that my best friend is also a member in it looking back at what my father made me do to my younger cousins when I was eight years old I realized that I am a molester I would imagine that would have really deep and long lasting negative effects on that person and th

eir cousins even they were eight and they were being forced into doing something so don't feel guilty because I mean you're an eight-year-old you really couldn't consent to anything so I got raped at a party my sophomore year of college I had never been in a relationship and was planning on saving myself for marriage no one deserves to be like robbed of so much especially someone who's never been in a relationship to experience like a violent kind of shattering of your own personal boundaries is

probably like one of the most heartbreaking things that can happen the one thing that they can't take away from you is your your own willingness of like giving yourself to another person and open your heart because I think that's what truly matters my boyfriend manipulated and forced me into having an abortion of our baby that I really wanted to keep he called me crazy and broke up with me a few months later saying you're not getting over it fast enough I'm paranoid that I can never have a chil

d again um being in a relationship with someone who's manipulative is a very real thing and give it a shot with someone else that you really love don't discount the whole idea my stepmom is very rude to me and continuously breaks my heart I have ADHD and each time I mess up she reminds me how my friends that I don't hang out often it hurts because I used to look up to her I hope I can leave the house when I become a teenager wow I think this makes me sad because this is obviously someone who's p

retty young who wrote this they're not even a teenager yet um and to have someone who's in your home was supposed to love you and care for you be the one that's actually antagonizing you I think it's really um it really sucks their stepmom is human too what they say is not necessarily true and they shouldn't carry this with them yeah my best friend and I would spend almost every single day together people would say our friendship was straight out of a movie I struggled a lot with depression anxi

ety so one day I decided to tell him all about my worries because of this he started to become distant once when I was ranting a lot he looked me in the eyes and said I wish you would kill yourself ready I still love him and hate myself for that [Music] yeah that's scary like you it's like one day there's someone your friends or someone like you trust the most and then another day they just kind of like become like a whole different person I think it takes a while to rebuild that trust again wit

h other people it's hard the last few women I've slept with have turned out to be racist one of them started calling a stranger black slurs another night a different woman shouted racist stereotypes at a stranger as a black Latin woman it hurts endlessly to know that people I shared my body with could be so hateful towards people that look like me whoa I imagine it must be really startling and like a punch in the face of sorts racism is one of the most vile or hateful ways to interact with someo

ne are relationships or our past aren't representative of Who We Are like just because you have been with people who have turned out to be evil or bad does not mean that you are necessarily evil or bad or even if you were racist in the past or if you were had done bad things that doesn't Define who you are now but it's really important to know and recognize who it is that you are and how is it how it is that you want to live your life the other day I took a few selfie pictures of myself and real

ized how ugly I am it breaks my heart to acknowledge how much I hate my face that's really rough that's that's the worst feeling there's a lot of pain in feeling inadequate in your appearance and just comparing yourself constantly to other people who you perceive as more attractive in society there's unspoken standards of beauty which really impact how confident you are when you're interacting with people and that's very unfortunate once I wore my basic outfit white T-shirt and jeans to my mom's

birthday party one of her friends who I've never met before said to me that I am too fat and need to lose weight the worst part was that my mom heard it but said nothing I left the party immediately because I could not hold back my tears like you already have this part of yourself that it's like very vulnerable and a complete stranger like points it out very rudely and then your mother also doesn't come to your defense or come to support you I didn't always think that the clothes I wanted to we

ar suited me and there was like this moment and I distinctly remember Middle School was like in math class and I just like I like looked down and I was like oh wow like I don't feel great and like I couldn't focus on anything else like I was in class I was supposed to be learning um but that was all I could think of I don't know I really wonder what what they did after when they left the party I hope they're okay um first like take a walk maybe cry crying feels better you [Music]