Series 14, Episode 4 - Crumbs In My Bralette | Full Episode | Taskmaster

[Music] [Applause] whoa [Music] oh no shut up [Music] [Applause] [Music] thank you hello I am Greg Davis welcome to Taskmaster what is potential when I was a little boy a school teacher told my parents I had none by the end of that year he had witnessed me wrestle a wild stallion to the ground and skitter up the side of the BT Tower like a giant mother loving lizard we all have potential we can all unlock with the exception it seems of most of the following people please give a warm welcome to D

ara Bree rain raining Sarah and now for a man who was once chased and bitten by a peacock in an instant he refers to as the day I lost my children's respect it's hello everyone hello great hi I've got news of my new project oh yeah a line of clothing it's called simply Alex would you like me to describe it yep well it's for Unique occasions you know when sometimes your fingers are cold your fingers are cold but your hands are warm so I've got these These are called gloveless fingers [Laughter] f

ingers for the thumb there of course I've also got it's a pantless crotch you know in this area yep that's the end okay it's a good job I can't roundhouse anymore [Laughter] uh price task then what category did I suggest this time my furry Chum oh just another bloody brilliant one from Mr brilliant your bloody brilliant bloody bloke because you asked them to bring in the greatest addition to a garden okay John hello hello yeah I brought in uh I brought in a maze this is maze yep yeah yeah have y

ou brought in a maze I didn't bring an amazing um this is what all mazes are made out of so you haven't brought in a maze you've brought in one plant I would have brought in a maze if I could but you love a maze I do love a maze yeah he loves amazing yeah and I'd be as impressed if you'd brought in a stone and said this is a potential pyramid I mean it's weak guys are full ER what I bought in this in this home I've sat in when it's been sunny and it is the complete works of Shakespeare hang on J

ohn you're back in the game perfect perfect for the garden well I use a heavy book every single time I'm in the garden to keep my Magnum wrapper from flying away [Music] do anything she expects me would be pleased I think he'd be mortified but his whole life's Works holding down your Magnum but fortunately for you he's not scoring this Tara I brought a thermometer but it's a thermometer that also proves that I was an advertising model in 1920s France [Laughter] and also since on trips to France

I've discovered that it's actually a really iconic ad in France so there's a whole second career I was quite the character in 1920s France yeah with my pasties Olive wow which is olive oil I presume I don't know I just did the gig incredible hello Fern uh so main is a pizza oven it's a fancy one I've got a pizza oven as well and I yeah I I started the fire inside it [Laughter] it's hard because I don't enjoy being in my garden at all I live in a horrible bit of Southeast London so a lot of being

in the garden is just listening to drug dealers shout at each other or try to ignore a woman dry heaving in my garden just to remind you you're watching the light entertainment show task uh can you beat any of these I can G wagon uh so I don't mind you working okay make a note I brought in the bird that changed my life I'm from Zimbabwe and uh when we moved to England we moved to Norwich so virtually indistinguishable now uh there was a lack of wildlife in Norwich so I start to get very homesic

k until I met smoother Rupert okay now smooth router is a black bird who would fly into my garden all the birds were loving it he was the bird equivalent of Snoop Dogg okay obviously I couldn't bring him in but I did bring in a Reincarnation of smooth Rupert as I remember him [Laughter] okay what are you on about he looks have you into it you saw a black bird you know I'm going to call that smooth route what you've never looked out the window until the pigeon have gone that's an aggressive Dylan

[Laughter] he won me back a little bit yeah let me give some points out so what is the least great addition to a guy well yeah you know you would have said it was a solitary tree wouldn't you until you saw a pizza oven that someone had tip lighter fluid at one point right one point to firm two points to smooth rope at three points to a ragged individual tree right I think Dara's reward is in for me around France and I think that Sarah's doing a little bit for making The Bard relevant to a moder

n audience so and Against All Odds I'm going to give it five points there we go Five Points tough time yes it is so let's get the bubbles flowing [Music] hey Alex please enter the magical sphere thanks cool please enter the wonderful ball okay please enter the enchanted orb you have to go into the plastic Igloo the futuristic globule oh I didn't know you could get pens that clipped together like that I'm 46 and I've never wanted something more in my life oh turn on the bubble machine you may not

step off or move the doormat fastest wins the time starts now but that's the bubble machine yes uh power is the charge for the bubble machine turn it on how like mechanically or sexually looks like we're cutting the lick of time for Monument made sweet sweet love to a bubble machine again um let's just crack on yeah first we're going to see Fern and Dara in the dome okay you're giving me these special pans that hook together I'm missing the team that turns on the bubble machine about 12 volts I

imagine yeah where did it put us underneath something right I was dead cleverly stop it's having you two batteries how did the batteries operate they don't operate this do they yeah [Music] for no reason okay [Music] well this is a correct source of power but I need to be able to open it yeah there is only two parties oh no oh that's cruel that's not gonna be enough [Music] tired yeah I keep looking at you Cactus is a viewer the key to this okay that doesn't that doesn't sound right what if we

buy other batteries under the car [Music] so where do you think oh sneaky oh that's irritating [Music] it's pretty fun congratulations Dora thank you you're the last thing my wife said to me before I came to Taskmaster today always check under the table [Music] [Laughter] see you didn't hate your wife so far I did not no you look like you're having a great time to meet up yeah Dora was quite scientific about it you wondered if it was a battery-powered Cactus and that's where we'd hidden the batt

eries whereas firm was more an instinct really at one point she said I need to get in the car but but I still sold them the same way as Dada yeah did you solve it in the same speed as the scientific chuntering Dara uh well so they both did um about five minutes I just thought I'd be more vague this time about five minutes that'll certainly keep everyone on the edge of their seats about five well Dara was six minutes 35 Fern seven minutes 40 so about five minutes haven't been yet but neither have

John and Manya here's how they got on turn on the bubble machine yes please [Music] is that on yeah it doesn't look like it's on what am I gonna do oh how do you make it go all stiff practice [Music] here hello why doesn't it work does it need batteries does it need to be plugged in isn't it meant to go all rigid yeah so fix the bubble machine so I need a screwdriver I bet it's in there [Music] hey [Music] oh be careful [Music] all right then can't step off the door man doesn't make any sense t

he dressing gown it's got something in the pocket [Music] yeah look at this engineers these clip onto each other that's not gonna work is it yes no fool no fall [Music] I'm missing a battery that doesn't come off without a screwdriver I need to make a screwdriver to get one out of the car gonna make a screwdriver out of the coat hanger [Music] that's not gonna work oh yes no that it doesn't feel right what am I missing what am I missing there's something on the floor oh my God [Music] [Applause]

yes I'll stop the clock you knew I could do it [Music] all right no oh I'm home well that doesn't matter if it's in there doesn't matter it's probably machine turned on yeah thank you bye-bye wow it was a dramatic conclusion Manya do you know how screws work right I mean you insert and twist like the best things in life if you can get them rigid enough of course that's the first time in this series we'd have anything in common so Sean you seem to struggle to see the batteries a lot of the time

yeah we had hidden secret message everywhere on the batteries that all said look down in the middle of the string it said look down yeah we weren't expecting people not to see the batteries that were right there and also John insisted for five minutes that the machine was on before doing anything five minutes it technically was on right it didn't look on what no I agreement in the spirit the task the machine was definitely off yeah it was up definition statistics well I think it's going to surpr

ise you they took about five minutes and by that I mean John took 10 minutes 45. 11 minutes 41. wait did John beat me I can't be you've got to remember Anya made it Mania made a lasso with a torch you tried to make a screwdriver out of a coat hanger he constructed a bazooka out the pens and the cactus in the battery you just you just spent a lot a lot of time recreating an episode of the 18. I think Sarah was fast was she fast well I can tell you that in last place it's Mania with over 11 minute

s at one point John gets two points with his 10 minutes 45 then then it's firm with seven minutes 40. now we know Dara took 6 minutes 35. Sarah took six minutes 16. so she gets it I may have a scoreboard update please Alex of course you can she's got maximum points and she's in the lead with 10 points it's Sarah Millican again there we go well I'm afraid this one is actually tarpauling it's it's it's go on crack on [Music] Alex hi Mania fancying you here always here hello Dora oh Alex get this o

h come on now get this tall pulling completely in one of the containers you have a maximum of five minutes and you must select your container before touching the tarpaulin also you must tidy whoa tidy everything up within those five minutes smallest container successfully filled with the tarpaulin wins the time starts after you've selected your container and you must select your container within the next 30 seconds smallest wins smallest wins smallest wins that's full of [ __ ] let me pack this

okay there's gonna be stuff so there's going to be stuff in it 15 seconds before you select your container yeah uh that's got balloons in bloody docks again I'm gonna pick this okay uh I'm gonna pick four seconds okay this one okay this one okay which container the green bin lots of interesting thoughts my eye is immediately drawn to Manya because anyone who thinks that's how Paul it is going in a bread bin is insane oh wait till you see the tasks and we're gonna start off with Sarah and Dara yo

u're five minutes start now [Music] I mean I thought it sheets we've all folded sheet why is there a snake underneath it oh no what do you want me to yeah if you could please one minute 45 [Music] but it just said it's gonna be completely in there you still got a minute [Music] that is exactly the right size ah [Music] what's your timer good work Sarah I'm waiting for the bit that went wrong okay I felt like you were asked to put a top hole in a way and you folded it nicely and you put it in the

container you've chosen and you subsequently tied it up really well you're watching task map joined it fold and intelligent what's not to like enjoy folding something Away really efficiently yeah but I wouldn't I televise it most of the time you don't forget for those people who are thinking of turning off we've still got bread bin boy to come [Laughter] we're gonna see the final three now Brady Chihuahua Kearns horrible man so what am I meant to do with these coins how much is in here um you b

asically making me do it tidian yeah this starts with a lot of tidying yeah you're not like tidying oh it's boring um okay right let's think how do they do it for bed sheets what do they do for bed sheets okay [Music] [Applause] [Music] there's a snake is it real [Music] that's a snake what's happening it's not real obviously do you want me to get it I can get it what are you doing do you want me to get it uh no okay is there friends in this you've got three minutes for him but you but you're so

mething in here [Music] Frozen thanks [Applause] [Music] there must be some sort of trick [Music] 15 seconds how many minutes two you're gonna clean all that up really though right now it's inside isn't it it's not completely inside well it that's just not possible oh how do people get bodies and knees it's inside isn't it done I guess I'm gonna tidy up the forks yeah thank you for that certainly spice things up a little bit hasn't it um you reverted to being a angry 15 year old Fern at the begi

nning yeah yeah I was like someone from the crew can do that come on um what I wrote down about John was John Cuts quite a lonely figure in this task doesn't he we're all we're all we're all on our own in these houses yeah some people just seem more alone than others I'm thinking specifically of when you chose your um receptacle you opened it you discovered there were balloons there you took them all out and then you held them for some time hahaha yeah you stood still for 80 Seconds John I'm int

rigued as to what part of you thought that was going inside a bread bin I'm seeing these containers I'm thinking okay obviously there's there's something underneath the smaller container so I was thinking when I opened the bread bin it's just going to be like a sewer [Music] I'm playing it out in my head I'm going to open it's going to be a sir the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is going to be under there what up dude you want to put that in there dude because I never thought I would long to hear

smooth Rupert come back well look points wise Sarah put the tarpaul in completely in the laundry basket and then tape the basket shut yup Dara got the tap all in completely the laundry basket and just put the lid on he did leave one lid carelessly on the floor who got the least tarpaulin in Manya right one point to menu okay who got the the next amount of tar Paula did John Kearns John Kearns two points to him three points do I reckon F4 but the queen and the only one who really deserves any poi

nts Sarah Millican right now we have just one more please of course and this one's well classy [Music] sorry I like to make an entrance John you right Al eks go pan am I being retired yes congratulations thank you the best years of my life to you Alex and we're very grateful okay oh baby write down 5-1 wanders give one minute your time starts now [Music] um last year when I started learning one new word a day people laughed at me now he's laughing me loquaciously no gracious [Music] 20 seconds f

irm done 12 seconds if you want to change your mind nope thanks John Fourier ten seconds great great stuff I doubt I'm leaving the room what have I got to do now I genuinely don't know I don't believe you for a second I never believed apart from everything he needs on the task that's exactly how useful information is on the task but I feel I have made a ride for my own back write a classic song oh Jesus you must write Linux for a piece of classical music your legs must contain your five wonderfu

l words you have 30 minutes your time starts now I'm gonna give you some options Jesus says Lord you need that many wires is that an iPod Touch what was it World War II and is it only those words or other words oh other words as well okay fine [Music] well you wrote down the name of the song yeah it's called isn't it correct thank you oh I think it's too poignant for this too poignant okay is that Hall of the Mountain King correct oh two points points am I getting for this Lord next [Music] that

was a banger yeah yeah yeah pop the next one on Swan Lake by Tchaikovsky no [Music] no it's too British motor Mozart last one I can play this you don't know that one it's not his best if you're not writing lyrics to that though no well if he didn't what's it called it's not even a good name Sonata and C major I need to listen to it while I write this off yeah yeah here we go but you just stand there yes you're just gonna have to keep going back to the start this is how I like to write my raps y

eah me too here we go pause okay wheel up again pause again and where do you reckon people are single song in their heads can you really play that on the piano yeah instead of having friends at school I spent two years learning Mozart's sonatas and that's one of my favorite ones oh too British for me well I can't wait okay well five classic songs coming out first up it's John Kearns [Music] in my fantastic Curry oh yes I found a naughty son in my fantastic Curry the lady on the phone said what g

et here you prick I will lose you until next week I said I'm in my new pajamas hello [Music] thank you it's not far off the original the original Swan Lake Prince Siegfried fell in love with a swan and then ordered a curry yeah I am fascinated to learn more about The Narrative of the piece so he's in his pajamas so he's not he's not well blessing yeah soda kind of uh clear the cold that he has he's ordered a hot curry he opens the curry yep it's a bloody Satsuma this might seem over the top but

I think that what we've just seen is the best thing you're ever gonna do [Applause] stop let's see and hear Fern Brady oh no [Music] here we are again series 14 who will become the house is Queen it has been Brady I'm the rifle Queen delivered it at house filled with mystery we everybody knows what we will see only one contestant will achieve the height of Victory and the tossful serendipitous they were gifts to the tax mistress all the other contestants they will put licking Seiko fans for sale

Mr cases losers and the step all night balls that was painful when you start with yourself with some stinker words but yeah it's a masterpiece wasn't it yeah I wasn't aware we were allowed to write a diss track she really took you all down really I mean accurately as well I don't know I don't know what my word means you were obsequious obsequious yeah oh that you suck up to people and you really don't you're not I mean he does he doesn't wow it's all right you're not obsequious thanks Greg ory

[Music] next up I'm putting lyrics to Debussy at last it's Sarah Millican oh [ __ ] here we go I'm not watching [Music] I look out of the window I see Greenery and some brownery there's a toadstool can I really eat it I'm inside in a bralette which is a comfier bra this scaffolding with my cat who is fighting catnip biscuits are mine catnip two oh look there are crumbs in my bralette [Music] yeah she absolutely hated doing that oh I have such a terrible history of singing though like I was in a

relationship with somebody who always said don't sing it sounds awful and it didn't sing for years and that was the probably the most horrific thing I've ever done in my whole life who was it you said that you sang awfully singing ex-partner oh [ __ ] you ex-partner my life is now in this section of my life that is after watching that everything building up has been before watching that and now my life can begin again I genuinely thought it was really sweet it was certainly quite a contrast to i

t's me family the story did make sense I think it's about a woman and a cat who are both eating Biscuit Crumbs from a bra come here bro it's like a nighttime bra like the sort of bra you wear on like a Sunday I know what a bra it is have a look [Laughter] structure sorry this is going to be an absolute stinker to judge next now it's Dara o'bri [Music] do you know my greatest fear of all the fears my greatest fear is to be the victim of defenestration that fear Mighty nebulous mysterious fantabul

ous butter spins around my head it's quite jirejury they used to do it in Prague a lot in olden times political plots but listen now I'll tell you how it happened to me I once met a man in Spain who said to me to do a dance Senor to the Fandango or the window you will go I said no I will not go out the window no no no take those and shove them down your throat foreign [Music] [Applause] it looked to me like a public information song from the 70s it's based in a real event uh where I met a man wh

o said I'll throw you out a window uh where did you meet this man in Prague and uh he said I would defenestrate you which is as you know a very common thing in Prague in terms of political people assassinated people of course of course I don't mind telling you that of Secrets well even during that description of what the song's about all I'm looking at is his big head [Laughter] I don't think you have got a big head but on that video it's sort of I don't know who's next okay there's only one per

son left Mania Chihuahua goodness gracious big browse in the Mansion spaceships got a posh thing and a Bax Bodacious never talk slow she's soloquacious real fanatic go to the gym but I'm still an asthmatic Crowd Goes Wild emphatic money up like cash in the Attic jovial Alex horn that's a homie yo is that Euphoria is it meal do we just get hornier come on Taskmaster I'm like Greg but a rap faster when he raises the specs that can only mean one thing sex I think it's the most middle class rap I've

ever heard in my life what was it about you know it was off the Dome uh you know it was off the Dome me and the homies were chilling in the back we were freestyling Eight Mile in yeah real real Prague smiling yes sorry man I don't think you heard my question what was it about I have some scores okay I'm not going to give anyone one point it's probably that I'm not straight enough to appreciate rap and also I don't know what the hell Dara was going on Dara and Manya two points okay I felt the sa

me emotion um about the Tangerine Curry as I did about it so I'm giving them Four Points each but the one that really touched me the most Five Points goes to Sarah Millican okay it's time for me to send you to the stage for the final Tusk of the show who's going to read that the task Dara O'Brien please throw your egg and your spoon the same distance both egg and Spoon must cross the qualifying line if either your egg or spoon fall off the nap it you are disqualified the most distanced egg and S

poon each round are out if your egg doesn't break your distance is halved last player standing wins so one at a time you'll go to the throwing circle with an egg and a spoon you'll throw them both over this line each time the person who's egg and Spoon the furthest apart from each other will be out it's Dora to throw first or Brave approaches the play zone foreign [Applause] just so you know we're measuring the egg not the paint [Music] most of the egg has gone over the qualifying line oh it's f

urther it is further John turns Mexican yellow guns that is bold it's Monday next Green to match him I hope this doesn't throw you off but one of your eggs does contain the corpse of smooth Rupert [Applause] solid he has managed to shove the yellow egg further away from the spoon it's it's essentially a form of curling blue it's been a while since I've had any eggs thank you for getting the strawberry joke are you going spoon first is that not allowed it's allowed great spoon guy yellow is out s

orry John what I don't get another guy nope John I'll show you right would you put your hands on your chin please okay it's round two remember if you don't break your egg your distance is halved honestly Alex I don't understand this one I feel like the worst person [Music] I think Fern might be in trouble that's absolutely backfired on you thank you oh my God [Music] three [Applause] it didn't go the other qualification line we have lost money a Chihuahua I'm lucky man yeah so the gripping final

e [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] this is so much pressure [Music] green is the winner final scores foreign high octane yes poor old John only had one go so he gets one point yep two to Sarah three to Manya four to Fern but yet again Tara Breen is he's just very good at this five points today yes and so to the final scoreboard well for the first time ever all five have the same points nothing like that no um we have a winner and that winner has 22 points it's Sarah Millican wins please go

and visit your garden of delights okay we're off and you're off too but first let's record the winner of episode four one more time it's Sarah Millican [Music] [Applause] thank you foreign [Applause] [Music] subscribe now [Music]