my wife might have cheated with her friend's ex-boyfriend hi everyone I think something from my wife's past has come back to haunt me I want to talk about it with strangers because even though I suspect my wife of having a physical Affair there's still a chance I'm overreacting with everything going on it looks like my wife has been unfaithful myself 31 years old male and my wife 30 years old female live in Detroit and have a great marriage about 11 years ago I was visiting my wife at her parent
s house and her best friend confronted me asking why I hadn't proposed to my wife yet while her best friend let's call her Mandy was grilling me my wife didn't intervene so I quickly got the message since I cared about her so much I was happy they felt that way after that I started to make moves to eventually marry her 2 years later we got married and now have two beautiful daughters getting married was one of the happiest days of my life and I had always planned to be a good husband husband and
father my wife wanted a pretty big wedding and a lot of people attended including some of our relatives from Puerto Rico my wife and I weren't rich but we were good providers and our kids were always well cared for my wife has always been a wonderful person she's smart fun and has a great sense of humor which you don't expect from someone as gorgeous as her she's a good mom and our daughters who are seven and four years old love and respect her our oldest even acts like her something I always t
ell her and she is gorgeous I love her pretty smile her brown eyes and especially her amazing figure she's the type of woman who struggles a bit to put jeans on and whether it's in a sexy dress or some tights her slim figure is noticeable she always loved how she looked which led my mom to believe she had an ego she might be right but I never really minded I work in a renovation project facility and my wife owns her own nail salon this never never surprised me because she always was a fashionist
a a term she disagreed with my wife always kept up with the latest trends and had to have everything new whether it was the new iPhone new heels or name brand clothes this made me roll my eyes but it was her money so I couldn't say anything until she became a parent and it made her cut back instead of keeping up with the Glamorous lifestyle she now focuses more on our daughters she's now accustomed to last year's model iPhone and has cut back on designer clothes in favor of Disney characters our
daughters love wearing the only time she wears her good clothes is on holidays or vacations even though that's the case I had to splurge less as well it doesn't matter because our kids are more important and my family is my priority everything seemed okay but now I'm seeing problems after my wife and I ran into an ex-boyfriend of her old friend at the supermarket our oldest reminded us about her Pop Tarts and my wife told me to go with her to get her favorite ones after finally making her decis
ion on a new flavor we came back out of the aisle to see my wife laughing and talking to some guy when my daughter interrupted them with the poptarts my wife introduced me to him she said this guy was apparently the ex-boyfriend of her old friend let's call her Tasha at first I couldn't remember who Tasha was then I remembered she used to work with Tasha at some old job before my wife started her own business this guy we'll call him Trey seemed happy to see us and was friendly so I didn't mind a
t first Trey and my wife caught up a bit more and it was awkward to see her smiling so much and seeming a little too happy to see him again after waiting patiently I signaled it was time to cook dinner and Trey laughed saying it was good to see us on the ride home my wife told me how surprised she was to see him at the supermarket she said she was more surprised that Tasha and Trey had broken up I asked how long it had been since she spoke to Tasha and she said about 4 years after hearing that I
thought to myself that they definitely had lost touch at first I thought that would be the last I had heard about Trey But as time went by I noticed that Trey and my wife kept in touch they would talk on the phone and also on her social media he would mention me every once in a while so I thought nothing of it because I felt included they started talking more frequently and the conversations got longer even up to after hours but I started getting suspicious when Super Bowl Sunday came around on
the day of the Super Bowl my wife was talking to Trey on the phone when I asked her a question after answering me a little while later she came to me and said Trey wanted to talk to me surprised I took the phone and asked him what was up he asked me if I was going to watch the Super Bowl and I told him I planned to when he asked me who I was rooting for I said sarcastically the Lions laughing he said he was too and offered to watch the game with me I told him that would be great but we were goi
ng to have a bunch of kids over and I doubted he would want to deal with that laughing again he said never mind and I passed the phone back to my wife I thought that was the end of it but a couple of hours later my wife came back and said Trey wanted to talk to me again he said if I could get away there was a Super Bowl party a friend of his was having and I could go and watch it with them my wife told me she would call her brother and tell him to pick up his kids earlier and we could go a littl
e late so I decided to go after her brother came and got his kids my wife and I got ready to go and arrived around the halftime show while talking to everybody I understood that the party was being thrown because somebody was a DieHard Cincinnati Bengals fan the person who threw the party argued about who would win and wanted the Bengals to lose he definitely got his wish and the Bengals lost to the Rams which stopped the guy from being a loudmouth after having a good laugh at this guy's expense
we all just enjoyed the get together it was at this point where I started to get suspicious because of how my wife was interacting with Trey I didn't like how she was all in his face and I felt left out of the conversations I thought it was because I wasn't being social enough and put myself into the conversations more at some point I asked him about why he and Tasha broke up Trey said he and Tasha were just casually dating they weren't really serious back then my wife laughed and said she was
surprised because Tasha really liked him after a while I said I had to go and get another smear knoff and walked out to the porch where the cooler was after Ming Ling with some people on the porch I went back into the house going back in I was looking for my wife and saw them talking in a corner I was about to walk over to them but I felt a weird vibe about how they were talking he was a little too close to her and was acting all predatory I paused and stayed out of sight to see what was going o
n he held my wife's hand and she was giggling all shyly after that she walked into the kitchen and he followed her while looking at her figure all I could say was what the f but then I moved a little closer to get a good look in the kitchen standing by the sink my wife was talking to some girl and her back was turned away from Trey while talking to my wife the girl looked at Trey and could see that he was looking at her I think she told my wife and my wife looked back and smiled at him turning b
ack to the girl she continued their conversation knowing that Trey was looking at her usually I love the way my wife dresses but now I was feeling very paranoid my wife would talk to the girl then look back and smile at Trey as he continued to take glances at my wife's figure in her yoga pants and my wife wouldn't budge she would just look at him as if she was saying I know you want me even though they would try to play it off they would go back to looking at each other and you would notice if y
ou were paying attention all I could think was I hope I'm not seeing what I think I'm seeing after the girl said something to my wife she followed her back into the living room and she ended up seeing me she asked me what the guys on the porch were talking about and I told her nothing much and that I was ready to go she said she wanted to stay longer but I reminded her that her brother was still with our kids waiting on us so he could leave after we said goodbye to Trey and everybody we went bac
k home especially since we both had to work tomorrow riding back I had to tell her what I saw in the car I told her it looked like Trey was trying to hit on her and she acted like I was crazy she laughed it off and said I was wrong I left it alone but I wanted to start paying more attention to them after what I saw he was definitely looking at her the more I paid attention the more suspicious I noticed she was acting she always had her phone she always brought up Trey to me and to her best frien
d Mandy then she started handcuffing her phone talking all the way into the early morning one night I asked her if she was still talking to Trey she just shot me a look and said she was after that she hung up the phone after about 5 minutes after a while I got tired of her talking so late and asked her to talk in the daytime with him and her excuse was she talks to Mandy then and when I told her it was really inappropriate to talk to Trey so late at night she'd laugh and say I'm acting paranoid
everything I'd Tred to say she would dismiss it and say I'm worried about nothing all my questions did make her stop bringing up Trey however I guess she thought it would stop me from getting all upset but it didn't 2 days ago made me believe the worst on my my wife's day off she said she was going over to her friend Mandy's house to do her mom's Nails since I knew about this a couple of days ago I really wasn't suspicious later that night my youngest daughter asked me if we could eat pizza but
I told her that her mom was cooking dinner she made a big fuss about it and since I was in the mood for pizza as well I decided to call my wife and tell her she didn't have to cook anything when I called my wife it went straight to voicemail I tried again and the same thing happened I had to ask myself why the hell her phone was off and this never happened before I let half an hour pass and her phone still went to voicemail after that I decided to call Mandy when I called Mandy she actually pick
ed up I asked if my wife was there and she said she had left I mentioned that I thought she was going to do Mandy a favor by doing her mother's nails but Mandy informed me that my wife received a phone call and just left I inquired about who called and she said she didn't know but she was upset that my wife told Mandy to tell her mother to come by her nail salon tomorrow this surprised me because Mandy was like a real sister to her and hearing that this had happened was just messed up after hang
ing up with her I called around and nobody had called my wife leaving only Trey as the suspect in my mind I got so angry I couldn't believe this was happening at the Super Bowl party Trey mentioned where he lived but I didn't know the address only the street if my wife was there I was convinced he was having an affair with her after grabbing my keys I was just about to walk out the door when I remembered my kids were still in their room playing I grabbed my phone to call my mom to see if she cou
ld babysit for a while but she didn't pick up my best friend let's call him Marcus was my last option so I called him when he picked up I asked what he was doing and he said his girlfriend was cooking dinner I mentioned I needed to ask him for a favor and after hesitating he insisted on knowing what it was I reluctantly told him I suspected my wife was cheating on me us went silent as if it was the last thing he expected me to say he asked if I was serious and after I shared everything he regret
fully said he couldn't come to watch the kids but suggested I bring them to him this frustrated me because he lived on the other side of town after getting the kids ready it took about 30 minutes to get there upon arriving at Marcus's place he inquired if I knew where Trey lived I mentioned the street and he looked at me as if I was insane the street Trey lived on was a long Avenue and he questioned whether I was really planning to drive down the entire Street to find them I confirmed my intenti
ons and he stopped me suggesting we use his car he reasoned that if I was wrong and they saw my car my wife could accuse me of being a crazy husband and at least they wouldn't recognize his car immediately after handing me his keys he cautioned me not to do anything crazy with his car he offered to accompany me but I declined feeling it was already problematic that he was involved he took the kids and I set off to try to find my wife hoping I wasn't too late to catch her in the ACT yet also hopi
ng I was wrong about my suspicions however my instincts were troubling me after a long drive I reached the street Trey lived on slowing down I looked for my wife silver Kia in a terrible neighborhood not caring about the surroundings due to all the suspicious behavior my wife had exhibited I was hoping not to find her car there but eventually I did I saw not only her car but also her and Trey she was wearing a pink sweatsuit and Trey was dressed in nothing but a white tank top some shorts and fl
ip-flops she looked like she was getting ready to leave and I couldn't believe what I saw the guy was practically undressed and I didn't like how close he was to her driving past I threw a fit in the car repeatedly saying he slept with her I know he slept with her I couldn't think of any other explanation except that he was having an affair with my wife and I bet her phone would magically start working now not only did I catch her all hugged up with this guy but now I had to try and beat her hom
e when I arrived home I was surprised to find that the kids and I beat her home with time to spare after putting the kids to bed I decided to wait up for my wife almost 40 minutes later she walked in the door looking unhappy to be back without saying a word to me she walked past me and went into the bedroom I immediately followed her into our bed bedroom and asked why her phone was turned off she claimed that she had never turned it off saying her phone had died and she had to charge it I asked
where she was and she repeated that she had already told me she was at Mandy's house I mentioned that Mandy said she had left but she brushed it off as if irritated she insisted that just because she left Mandy's house didn't mean she wasn't there earlier which was baffling to me I then asked if she had left Mandy to be with Trey and after hesitating she admitted it but claimed it didn't matter matter she expressed being tired of me having a problem with Trey and wanted to drop the subject becau
se she was exhausted she inquired if the kids had eaten and I told her we went out to eat without asking further questions she went back to the living room to watch TV and be on her phone after that night she was not the same wife I knew now she doesn't talk to me always texting on her phone in the dining room and looks at me as if she wants to get away but can't this is nonsense because she's acting as if I did something wrong when all I've done is cater to her and whose phone battery dies in t
he middle of the day I really don't know what to do and need to make a decision based on my gut feelings I'm not certain if she cheated but her behavior has raised a lot of red flags I hope I'm overreacting but the signs are there especially at the Super Bowl party they've been talking all day he's been ogling her at a party and she allowed it and now she's secretly meeting up at his house he has to be having an affair with her I will try to update once I find something solid but I really need t
o know if I'm overreacting first update I was planning to post an update this weekend but so much has happened that I felt compelled to share this today the accuracy of your insights about my wife has been astonishing and frankly unsettling the Saka began earlier this year when my wife encountered an ex-boyfriend of her friend Tasha at the supermarket upon introducing me to Trey I initially didn't see it as a significant concern it appeared as though she was merely excited to reconnect with an o
ld acquaintance however their continued interaction soon escalated into something more concerning the red flags became increasingly apparent their phone conversations would last for hours they constantly liked each other's photos on Facebook and Trey would call late into the night when I voiced my concerns about the inappropriateness of their interactions she dismissed them claiming I was overreacting she would laugh and giggle during their conversations even teaching him Spanish words highlight
ing our Puerto Rican Heritage the Super Bowl party to which Trey invited us was particularly revealing I noticed Trey openly admiring my wife especially her figure it was the kind of attention that made it impossible not to notice yet she seemed either oblivious or unconcerned by it when I brought it to her attention she simply brushed it off my suspicions reached a Breaking Point last week my wife claimed she was visiting her best friend Mandy to do her mom's nails but suddenly changed plans af
ter receiving a call from Trey with her phone going straight to voicemail I was left to assume the worst borrowing my friend Marcus's car I found them together and Trey's casual attire did little to ease my suspicions returning to Marcus's house I shared what I had witnessed even he agreed that something inappropriate must have occurred especially given tra's state of undress the situation left me questioning my next steps after thanking Marcus for his help and managing to return home before my
wife her guilty demeanor upon arrival only deepened my concerns her evasive answers to my questions about her whereabouts left me with no choice but to let the matter go as I hadn't caught them in the act as I had hoped as predicted by this community things have only deteriorated my wife now regards me with disdain barely communicates with me and treats our children as if they are a burden her indifference has confined her to incessantly texting in our dining room leaving me at a loss for words
my work schedule and responsibilities have unfortunately made it difficult to prevent her alleged infidelity given her knowledge of my routine and the flexibility her job affords as the owner of a nail salon she seems to have taken advantage of my absences to meet with Trey this betrayal has tormented me causing what I believe to be anxiety as I'm consumed with thoughts of her infidelity without the support of this community I would be in a far worse state encouraged to seek the truth I decided
to take a more proactive approach I purchased a voice activated recorder and tested it with my children during a trip to McDonald's satisfied with its functionality I placed it in my wife's car hoping to capture any incriminating conversations or evidence of infidelity taking this step made me feel desperate but I was determined to uncover the truth this journey has been incredibly challenging and I couldn't have navigated it without the support and advice from this Community today I finally con
firmed my worst fears Trey has been having an affair with my wife my plan as unconventional as it was has revealed the painful truth of their betrayal the most pivotal advice I received was to Fain indifference towards Trey it was challenging to act as if I wasn't bothered but I realized the necessity of adopting this facade by not mentioning him and pretending all was well I noticed my wife began to let her guard down slightly it was a difficult act to maintain but my focus remained on uncoveri
ng the truth Marcus upon hearing my strategy even praised it as ingenious a few days ago I discreetly retrieved the voice activated recorder from her car to review its contents among various recordings one particularly revealing conversation between her and Trey stood out they were traveling together and despite the background music I could discern Trey flirting with her complimenting her attractiveness my wife's response was inaudible amidst her Giggles doing nothing to deter him at one point h
e suggested they stop somewhere and the car fell silent momentarily suddenly it seemed as if several men joined them making it difficult to follow their conversation due to the Cross talk it appeared my wife was chauffeuring them to various locations in the midst of this chaos I caught Trey mentioning his intention to visit our house there was a brief lapse in the audio but I distinctly heard my wife tell Tre she has to leave early so come over this conversation marked the end of any useful info
rmation from the voice activated recorder in her car the remainder of the recording was filled with laughter and one of the men teasingly called Trey thirsty I was left pondering who my wife referred to when mentioning someone leaving early eliminating Mandy and her mother from suspicion I speculated it might be the Young Apprentice at my wife's Salon it was a tenuous lead but the only one that made sense I arranged with Marcus to swap cars for the day after sharing my findings he was astonished
labeling her derogatorily and wishing me luck in Catching her given her familiarity with my routine she planned her departure after I left for my mom's with the neighbor assistance as cover despite my reluctance to leave my mom early I excused myself citing fatigue from work around 900 p.m. I arrived at my wife's Salon strategically parked among other vehicles in the strip malls lot using marcus' car for added discretion inside the scene confirmed my worst fears only my wife Trey and The Appren
tice whom I'll call Sherry remained my wife was dressed provocatively with Trey visibly enamored by her I observed Trey embracing her from behind their intimacy escalating to kisses on her neck and caresses on her lower back they cornered themselves against a wall engaging in a passionate display as Sherry looked on eventually Sherry hinted at leaving and after a brief exchange my wife and Trey headed towards the basement a space I knew from prior visits was intended for expansion fueled by a mi
x of anger and disbelief I couldn't fathom how my wife could betray our relationship to this extent and Trey's duplicity was now unmistakable after retrieving the voice activated recorder I approached the salon just as Sherry was exiting my sudden appearance startled her I instructed her not to lock up confessing my awareness of the affair she feigned ignorance but I assured her I had witnessed everything In the Heat of the Moment I confronted Sherry with harsh words leading to a heated argument
she defensively claimed that it wasn't her fault my wife was involved with another man prompting me to call her out for her role in the mess she suggested I wouldn't be able to interrupt them because the basement door was locked her reasoning was that despite her knowledge of their affair they wanted to prevent any unexpected interruptions determined I made my way inside pulling out my phone to call my wife Sherry followed me as I proceeded towards the back my wife didn't answer my call so fuel
ed by a mixture of dread and resolve I banged on the locked basement door demanding they come up despite my efforts there was no response from the basement I turned to Sherry seeking answers about how long she had been aware of the affair Sherry admitted to knowing about Trey for about a month and disclosed that my wife's infidelity had begun recently she described witnessing their initial encounter and their subsequent discussions when I inquir ired if she knew Trey was Tasha's ex-boyfriend She
rry confirmed my wife had told her despite mentioning our children Sherry disclaimed any personal involvement I informed Sherry that I would be using her testimony in court showing her the voice activated recorder I indicated she could leave returning to Marcus I recounted the evening's events he and his girlfriend offered consolation during this tumultuous time while discussing the situation with Marcus Mandy called claiming my wife had had confided in her and wished to speak with me the follow
ing day insisting on talking to my wife immediately Mandy refused fearing my reaction Mandy threatened to call the police if I attempted to confront them directly and advised waiting until tomorrow for a calmer discussion after hanging up I returned home with my children overwhelmed by emotion and anxiety the realization that my marriage was crumbling despite my efforts was devastating the thought of enduring an affair especially a continuous one was unfathomable anticipating the conversation wi
th my wife I braced myself for the possibility of divorce depending on her explanations the loneliness and uncertainty of the situation weighed heavily on me prompting me to share this update seeking support from those following my story update 2 the downward spiral began the moment we encountered Trey her Affair partner AP at the grocery store marking the start of an incredibly difficult period forgiving her seemed almost insurmountable especially after the lengths I had to go to uncover the tr
uth with multiple confessions captured on my voice activated recorder I felt armed with undeniable evidence of the Betrayal that unfolded since the start of this year this community has been a Pillar of Strength for me providing guidance as I navigated this tumultuous Journey even though I admit to faltering initially the embarrassment of how things unraveled remains a heavy burden the situation escalated when I witnessed Trey and her intimately engaged at her nail salon followed by a call from
her best friend Mandy suggesting my wife was ready to explain herself the next day however that call never came instead I spent my time informing our mutual contacts about her infidelity and Consulting a lawyer who needed to follow up with me due to scheduling conflicts in the meantime I took my children to my mother's house as she insisted on caring for them over the weekend my decision was met with criticism from my mother who who held me responsible for marrying my wife and expressed distrust
in my current state with the children my aunt overhearing the commotion was shocked by the Revelation a sentiment mirrored by the tense atmosphere that followed despite my mother's harsh approach I was relieved she could take the kids the Solitude allowed me to process my anger and gather my thoughts which was necessary given the tumult of emotions I was experiencing Marcus checked in speculating whether my wife would reach out but by then I was bracing myself to move forward without her on Sat
urday amidst my attempt to bring some order to my house my wife unexpectedly arrived with Mandy her appearance was a stark contrast to her usual self dressed down in a gray Nike sweatsuit devoid of makeup her hair casually tied back revealing the remorse possibly stemming from being caught rather than genuine regret for her actions seeing her in such a disheveled state was unfamiliar to me she was always the epitome of Beauty perhaps now that Allure was reserved solely for Trey his overt attenti
on to her at the Super Bowl party particularly his glances at her figure might have been flattering to her my wife possessed what one might describe as a noticeable booty and like many she dawned yoga pants which didn't Escape Trey's covert glances this very act I believe was the Catalyst for the unraveling of our trust propelling us towards the inevitable confrontation after my growing suspicions upon entering our home Mandy implored me to allow my wife to explain to which I reluctantly agreed
Mandy then whispered something to my wife before stepping out onto the porch leaving us to converse privately I expressed my surprise at my wife's decision to face me after the incident at her Salon she confessed her fear of returning home post Discovery inquiring about the children she seemed disappointed to learn they were with my mother her frustration intensified when discussing Sherry's disclosure of the affair with Trey I clarified that Sherry caught in the act had divulged everything in s
elf-preservation my wife mentioned a Fallout with Sherry who hadn't returned to work but I dismissed this focusing instead on the Betrayal at hand my wife attempted to diffuse the situation admitting her guilt and expressing remorse for her actions although she regretted more so that I had uncovered the affair she tried to justify her behavior by recounting how Tasha a former colleague had always praised Trey's virtues and shared their intimate messages which intrigued her this Fascination was r
eignited when Trey visited their workplace leading to an exchange of compliments and eventually their secretive communication I questioned the initiation of their Affair particularly after our grocery store encounter suspecting she hadn't volunteered her number to try she confessed to giving it to him which led to their flirtatious and sexual texting this secret interaction extended to social Gatherings with his friends friends when I confronted her about the specific night she was supposed to a
ttend to Mandy's mother but instead was with Trey I disclosed my knowledge of tre's address revealing my efforts to track her down her silence when asked if their relationship had become physical was broken only by repeated apologies confirming my worst fears without a direct admission she explained that Trey had invited her over under the guise of a casual Gathering but soon revealed he wanted her there alone despite real izing his intentions she didn't leave succumbing to his advances which es
calated quickly my anger boiled over as I confronted her about ruining our marriage to which she remorsefully acknowledged but didn't seek forgiveness instead she shocked Me by stating her desire to explore a relationship with Trey admitting she had been infatuated with him even before our unfortunate reunion her confession that try's lack of seriousness with Tasha was a relief to her and her admission to secretly hoping for an affair left me dumbfounded she described their encounters as initial
ly spontaneous later becoming deliberate all while harboring no regret during their intimate moments her rationale was a twisted notion of honesty suggesting discussing her feelings for Trey would have been a more honorable approach than deceit the Revelation that she preferred Trey to the extent of dismantling our family for him was devastating when I questioned the extent of her betrayal including whether it involved tre's friends she dismissed me as irrational her role had seemingly reduced t
o chaffering Trey's acquaintances at his whim a detail she nonchalantly confirmed her final blow was the Declaration of wanting a divorce justifying it by her inability to remain married while yearning for another man I countered highlighting the impossibility of her desires during Trey's relationship with Tasha and our ongoing marriage she downplayed Tasha's potential reaction a oblivious to the degradation of her character in the eyes of a once close friend she expressed a desire to conclude o
ur marriage amicably a sentiment that seemed more for her peace than mine her departure with Mandy who intermittently interrupted our conversation marked the end of our marriage discussion in hindsight her resolve to leave was perhaps for the best sparing me the agony of a Loveless marriage nonetheless her delusions about Trey and their future together were pitiful adjusting to Solitude in our Shar home Amplified my frustration and sense of humiliation the ease with which she discarded our 9-yea
r Union raised haunting questions about the value of commitment and Fidelity in contemporary relationships when Monday arrived I took a day off work to meet with a lawyer and filed for a divorce someone mentioned I could receive alimony from my wife's nail salon and he mentioned that if the children want to live with me that's feasible my mother has been a significant help with the children but I discovered my mother's spoiled my children while they were with her and also told them that my wife
was leaving the family to live somewhere else when my oldest asked me about it all I could do was shake my head thanks to my mother I have had to tell them and they did not take it well even though my mother did that it worked in my favor after picking up my children we drove past Trey's house and I showed my children that's where their mother wants to live I asked my children if they wanted to live there with her they both looked at the dilapidated house with a bunch of guys standing on the por
ch and said no I asked if they were sure and my oldest said not for a million dollars I called my wife during my lunch break today and told her that I had already filed for the divorce and she said okay she mentioned she wanted to come over and talk to the children and I told her my mother was picking them up from school today because I had commitments my wife expressed a strong desire to talk to them and I said when I get home she can come over and I'll ask my mother to bring them back after sp
ending time with her she asked to pick up the children directly and I told her if she wants to see the children that badly she should go over to my mother's house and pick them up but that would not be the wisest decision she has made my wife became upset and said I always hide behind my mother and I told her if she wants to see the children she should go over to my mother's house that is if she's bold enough giving a frustrated sigh she hung up clearly aware of how Petty my mother can be since
then I haven't heard from my wife I sent her one last text saying all we need to discuss from here on is about the divorce and sometimes about our children right now I'm only thinking about my daughter's lives just because my wife gave up on them doesn't mean they're alone I know for a fact Trey wouldn't plan on giving up his player lifestyle I hope while she's busy receiving a facial from him she would think about that it's not my problem anymore and like I said I'll let her worry about what mi
ght happen I really want to thank everyone here here for the amazing support I was definitely scared to go down this road and it made me braver I've read stories about people catching their significant others in lies like I did even worse some catching them in the ACT which would have devastated me I'm definitely coming back from this adversity one day my wife was very flawed and it showed through her being extremely selfish how could she break all her standards for him and force me to abide by
them it's a question I've been hearing from Good Men lately and it seems unfair bear this is my last update and I want to thank you guys one more time some individuals are just not meant for committed relationships story two my girlfriend of 2 years cheated and I didn't find out till she was engaged 3 months later but I got the last laugh hello this is my first time posting to be honest I've been a little worried that my ex might find this since she might recognize my username but it's been 4 ye
ars since the split so I'm moving past that concern also if this isn't the appropriate subreddit for for this story please let me know prepare yourself this is going to be a lengthy tale I met my ex when we were both attending college I was 24 and she was 22 I had never really dated much before her I had just come out of a toxic year-long relationship that didn't work out but we remained amicable the other girl was seriously depressed I loved her but her Depression was overwhelming and I felt he
lpless I consider myself an empath and her depression would affect me deeply so I ended the relationship my ex was the one who sort of approached me as we were both living in the same apartment complex I had gone out of my way to help her a few times but it was her asking for a ride that sparked our friendship and then relationship I would spend hours with her whether she was at home or closing at the sandwich store where she worked she was taking time off from school due to depression and a fai
led engagement from a year or so prior though as far as I know she never completed her education and transferred twice to other other universities we partially bonded over her story about how she had been betrayed and cheated on by her ex though I now question the veracity of that story we became Inseparable she introduced me to her parents only after 2 months of being friends with benefits after a few months I wanted to make her my girlfriend since I had no interest in other girls aside from he
r she declined saying she wasn't ready because of her past engagement this should have been my first red flag but I like the fool I was gave her a pass we continued dating exclusively neither of us dated anyone else a month later I brought up our status again because if we were exclusive anyway why not just acknowledge what we were she continued to resist there were times during our relationship when things seemed perfect she seemed to like everything I liked we had similar goals and appeared to
be a perfect match however sometimes I would notice backhanded remarks about me she would sometimes compare me and talk about her different exes we would occasionally fight over trivial things and I would try to deescalate but she wouldn't have it she would storm out of my apartment and at times I would chase after her she would become angry when I did that saying I should give her space so the next time she did that I wouldn't chase after her and then she would accuse me of not caring about he
r she also began to Gaslight me about certain things I remembered her saying though at the time I didn't know what gaslighting was but like a sucker in love I went along with it many of my friends would remark that I could do better when I spoke about her they said she didn't treat me right but I just brushed it off people listen to your friends they usually are looking out for you after dating for a year I would still bring up becoming official boyfriend or girlfriend but she was still resistan
t she would say she wasn't ready but insisted I was the best guy she had ever dated all of her friends knew we were dating but to be honest I didn't didn't like them she would invite me to hang out with them but they were very click and I'm not like that also they had a cat and I'm allergic so I would use that as an excuse as time went on we would go on dates and she would call me every night we would stay on the phone all night until one of us woke up the next day she said my presence was comfo
rting and helped her with her depression we continued to have problems at times where she would even become physical she slapped me hard on two occasions both times were not because we were fighting but because she thought it would be funny each time I told her that was disrespectful and that since I would never do that to her I expected the same in return during one of our fights she once stated my roommate knows all the guys who would be willing to be non-committal makeouts in the complex so I
don't really need you but finally after a little over a year of dating she agreed to be my girlfriend or boyfriend but I noticed that she seemed to keep it a secret from everyone except her family I thought it was strange but having gotten what I wanted I paid no attention to it I'm going to insert this here and say there were times I wasn't a perfect significant other I also deal with depression and the stress of work school family and her became too much at times I lashed out but never physic
ally hurt her I would point out the things she had done that were hurtful to me we broke up several times sometimes I would initiate the breakup and sometimes she would but each time one of us would relent and come back to the other one time I was a bit manipulative and self hared to show her how much it was hurting me she had also self hared and expressed being suicidal during our dating and to be totally honest I got the idea from her I was truly in love with her and she told me she felt the s
ame about me we discussed marriage children and where we would live among other things during this period she moved twice first to an apartment down the street and then to her parents house house about an hour north while she lived in the apartment down the street she threw a party when it was over none of her friends stayed to help clean just me she told me this was proof I'd make a good husband after her move to her parents I would visit her almost weekly however I began to notice a bit of dis
tance at times her replies to my texts and calls became slower and slower but if she called or texted me she expected a quick reply whenever she needed me I would come to her even at 1:00 a.m. when I had work in school the next day after a couple of months I began to suggest getting engaged but then she started to do the same thing she had done with becoming boyfriend or girlfriend she would use her depression from her past relationship as an excuse then she asked if we could go back to casually
dating this was the dumbest thing I had ever agreed to I thought this would show her that I was the right guy for her over the next few months she would go on dates but tell me about them and how much better I was than those guys I continued not to date anyone else because I was a sad AP in love with her however I had told her if she found someone she wanted to pursue I would end our relationship and she could go after him but then after talking to my friends and family I had a realization why
was I doing all this for her when she wasn't even my girlfriend anymore so I told her and she agreed that any physical relationship would end until we got back to being exclusive except it didn't end we would go on dates and she would guilt me pressure me and I would give in she would then immediately afterward become angry asking why I couldn't resist why didn't I stop her she became very abusive and hurtful the worst was when she told me that if she got pregnant she would never tell me and onl
y she would decide what to do then that hurt so much as I've always wanted to be a father and would never abandon my children but we would simply fight and we'd end up making up during all of this we would continue to talk about a future together she would see a mixed race baby I'm Latino and she was white and say how she saw the cutest baby that could have been ours whenever she was depressed she would call me or ask would you still marry me and I would respond of course I would I love you it w
asn't until Christmas when I was in Florida visiting my brother that I began to suspect something more was up I text her and she wouldn't respond I'd call her for our nightly phone calls but she wouldn't answer but one time she called and asked if I had some move on DVD and when I asked why she said she wanted to watch it with her family but I could sense something was off when I came back from vacation and started the new semester of school she came to visit me sort of she came to my university
for some reason lost her Fitbit and called me to help her I came to help and we spent some time together but I could feel something was different she then told me she wanted me to visit her in 2 days at her parents house as she had something to talk to me about it was then I knew what was coming I talked to some of my friends and prepared for the worst when I got to her parents house it was late she asked me to come at 10: p.m. she came into my car and we talked for about 30 minutes to an hour
she told me that she no longer wanted to date me and I agreed I had felt her becoming distant and I asked her if it was someone else she denied there was someone else she said she simply no longer felt we were right for each other but then she said other things she said that she never considered me husband material that she never saw us getting married having kids she had always known from the beginning she even said another reason she didn't want to be with me was that her kids wouldn't look li
ke her because of her being white and me being Latino this is especially ironic now because she likes to say how Progressive and not racist she is right this shocked me I remembered back to all the plans we made all the times she had asked if I would marry her all the times she had talked about about our hypothetical children that hurt the most I told her I loved her but that I agreed we were done we decided on no contact she decided to block me on Facebook saying she knew if I blocked her I wou
ldn't be able to keep her blocked so she should be the one to do it I said fine we didn't end up blocking each other on our phones due to the possibility of an emergency I had no family in the state as I drove away I felt sad but also as if a huge burden had been lifted from me for the the next month it was an uphill battle I would be depressed at night I realized she had made me codependent on her I had become accustomed to her nightly phone calls I felt very alone there were many nights on the
floor of my room in tear-filled agony but I threw myself into my work my school and my friends but then about a month later I received a call from her early in the morning I answered thinking it was an emergency it wasn't it seemed as if she had made a mistake calling me but that didn't make sense we hadn't spoken in a month what were the chances of her accidentally calling me I could hear a conversation but only bits and pieces I could hear her voice but also a voice I didn't recognize it was
definitely a guy voice I heard something about snow and I swear I heard my name mentioned but then the call ended I know I shouldn't have but I reached out to a few friends and heard she had started dating someone I then reached out to her her I know I shouldn't have and asked if she was all right it took a few days for her to respond she then said she wanted to speak to me she said she really missed my friendship and for a few minutes we spoke as if nothing had changed she told me she had start
ed seeing someone I told her I had heard and she asked how and I told her from Friends by then I had seen a picture of the guy she began talking about him and his flaws I just listened but I began to feel weird about it she then spoke about his hair being weird and I responded yeah it is a bit but I guess she had been speaking about his hair years ago and then began to question how I knew what his hair looked like back then I responded sorry I thought you were talking about now she then told me
that she had recently been getting a lot of random friend requests on Facebook and she asked if they were from me they weren't we ended the conversation shortly after and I began to have a weird feeling about it I was sort of happy for her but the more I thought about it the more I realized I didn't want to continue talking to her I messaged her the next day and told her while I like talking to you like we used to I think we should continue not to speak she agreed I then proceeded to block her n
umber a week later while on campus I noticed I had a voicemail even though my phone hadn't rung it was from her asking if I was home she came to drop some things off I personally felt like there wasn't anything worth her returning and it annoyed me that she had come to drop the the stuff off at my front door since no one was home I became really annoyed I had told her no more contact I then decided to write her an email I basically told her that I had loved her with all my heart but that she had
mistreated me in many ways lied to me Etc I thanked her parents for being kind to me we had a rather good relationship and they actively told me how amazing of a boyfriend I was I then proceeded to tell her I wanted no contact of any kind that she was now blocked from my phone I said though we live about an hour away now it's possible to run into each other due to friends living close to me and such I told her the way you treat me is how I will treat you if we see each other if you treat me lik
e a friend I'll treat you like a friend if you treat me like an enemy I'll treat you like an enemy if you treat me like I don't exist I'll treat you like you don't exist I sent the email and didn't expect to ever hear back from her boy was I wrong a few days later I received a reply from her dad her dad mind you is an ex-marine and a lawyer in his email he stated that I should leave his daughter alone he accused me of stalking her not sure how I was seeing as I was an hour away and busy with sch
ool work and Friends he accused me of creating fake Facebook accounts and cyberstalking her once again I didn't create any to do that though I had looked at her account from a friend's account a few times but that was it I mean who hasn't but then he used that line about treating her the way she treats me and he highlighted that part and said I consider this a threat he proceeded to tell me to leave her alone otherwise he would get a restraining order I was blown away her dad and I had always be
en on good terms I just couldn't believe what I was reading I spoke to a few people and having studied a bit of law at University responded to him I told him look I want nothing to do with your daughter she was the one who reinitiated contact in fact she came to my house without my knowledge a week ago if I'm a stalker why would she risk coming to my house I told him that we both know what he had said was unsubstantiated and no judge would ever grant them a restraining order I told him never to
contact me again and I'll do the same to him and his daughter it was then that I wondered what was going on what stories was she telling people about me what sub story was she spinning and why I told some of my friends about what happened and they were blown away too they just told me that I had dodged a nuke and I should be happy I thought the story would end there but as I said this is a cheating story a long one but a cheating story nonetheless so we had broken up in January just after the fi
rst week of April a friend of mine messaged me while I was working and told me that my ex had just gotten engaged I was floored it had only been 3 months for the girl who had constantly said how hard relationship had been for her because of her cheating abusive ex-fiance it just didn't make sense but what was interesting my friend told me was a comment that someone had put on her engagement announcement this person was congratulating her on her engagement and was so happy she could help them get
together back in November November the same November when we were still going out yes we weren't exclusive at that point but to me since I had given her several outs and she lied about there being someone else I considered that cheating I was livid and then everything fell into place that's why she became distant at Christmas that's who she wanted to watch that movie with that hurt but I moved on with my life I was still struggling with depression and trust issues I spoke about it to some peopl
e friends church members but the more I talked about it the more I learned about her people who knew her and didn't know we had dated came forward and said yeah that girl had issues they told me things they probably shouldn't have but whatever I found out all the nasty things she said about other people and I began to realize that she never really cared about me she simply wanted someone to care for her and then to dump them once someone better came along I realized that the reason I fell in lov
e with her was not because of who she was but what she pretended to be she had heard about me knew I was a nice guy and decided I was empathetic enough to trick she simply reflected myself back at me and I thought I was dating someone similar to me but really I had been dating a narcissist but this helped me understand a lot about myself that I care too much love too deeply and need to be careful whom I give my love to lesson learned so half a year passed I hadn't run into her but I had heard sh
e had moved back to my city with her husband so much for me being a stalker some of my friends had a few run-ins with her and one embarrassed her by making a sexual inuendo about something she had done love you Danny boy brothers for life I got invited to a friend's wedding I couldn't make it to the actual ceremony but I made it to the reception I was just finishing up making a small speech making fun of my friend the dude had a laugh that was so annoying and loud you wouldn't believe I was endi
ng my remarks and was about to sit down when a mutual friend started walking into the room and who was right behind her my ex and her husband I saw her and was a bit surprised just as she was about to walk into the room our eyes met and in that moment instead of walking into the room she pushed her husband back into the hallway out of sight and quickly followed I was taken aback and stepped out to the other side of the building to collect my thoughts and feelings overall I was fine but the shock
of seeing her was interesting after a few minutes I came back into the room and noticed my ex and her husband had never entered the room I then asked asked my friend if he had invited her and he said yes I told him a heads up would have been nice but he said he hadn't even thought about it he wasn't that close of a friend more of a mutual friend of one of my best friends anyway minutes passed and the new couple was about to have their first dance so we all moved some chairs out of the way I hap
pened to be on one side of a door putting chairs away when my ex came through that exact door saw I was right next to her and ran to the other side of the room with her husband in toe we avoided each other the rest of the reception except for a couple of glances but in that moment I felt whole again all those months after the breakup I felt broken and like a piece of myself was missing but in this moment seeing how she reacted how ashamed she seemed to be I felt my power coming back I felt truly
happy for the first time even though she was married and I was not I had won the breakup she was ashamed to even look at me I had no no such problems I had an overall clear conscience and now here I am over 4 years after the breakup writing this I'm still single but overall I'm happy and Maddie if you end up reading this forget you I'm the one who ended up finishing University and you're just a housewife after all that talk about changing the world and such all you're ever going to change are d
irty diapers and be a liar and a cheat Story three cheated on while pregnant so my ex a 26-year-old male cheated on me when I was about 6 months pregnant I was 27 at the time I worked as a restaurant manager and took a week off from work to fly out to Europe that's where I grew up to see my family for the first time since becoming pregnant before it became too late to fly when I returned home there was a facial scrub in my shower that didn't belong to me I panicked I sought answers he lied compl
ete denial thinking I'm an idiot he said I don't know know how that ended up here maybe it's yours I was livid I cried all day at work that day I asked again at night and he started yelling at me about how I don't trust him mind you I'm heavily pregnant here and he's putting this on me it was baffling I then tried to let it go I decided to stop thinking about it and focus on my pregnancy I knew he cheated but he wouldn't admit it so I felt I was just wasting my time trying to argue fast forward
to one month postpartum I got into a car accident I wasn't at fault and there were no injuries but my car was totaled great so now I was faced with a big decision do I want to spend thousands on a new car or do I want to leave him and move back to Europe with our son somehow owning a car made me feel attached to the US I don't know why it did but it felt like a big Commitment if I buy a new car that means I'm staying here and moving forward a week later he came home from work I sat him down and
said I'm I'm not going to spend thousands on a vehicle if you can't admit that you had unprotected sex with some girl in our home I'd much rather sell all my stuff and leave his jaw dropped he thought I'd let it go and he was off the hook but he admitted to cheating for your information I had a fragile cervix during pregnancy which caused heavy bleeding during intercourse I had to go to the ER twice and had horrible nausea the entire time so yes my sex drive wasn't the best but I still tried he'
s my first child and I wasn't going to risk early labor for some fleeting pleasure just abstain for a bit don't betray our home 3 months later I flew back to my home country and have been a happy single mother ever since it was the best decision I ever made I'm really proud of myself for leaving I don't think I deserve to be with someone who would betray me when I needed them the most in such a horrible way I think cheating in your home is 10 times worse yes he is the father of my child and I wo
n't come between them but I'm glad I left him he gave me the most beautiful gift anyone has ever given me but he lost all of my respect after that story four my wife recently figured out my friend's wife was having an affair with me 5 years ago right after my divorce I met a woman at a concert she was slightly younger than me but we hit it off and she ended up going to a bar with me and my friends after the concert ended it was a fun night and we exchanged numbers at that time I wasn't actively
using any social media platforms except Facebook and that was primarily to keep up with my children's school and activities consequently we never connected on social media opting instead to text each other initially the texts were casual with a little flirting every once in a while but nothing that suggested any interest in pursuing a sexual relationship it turns out she lived only 20 minutes from me but we never met up or saw each other again after a couple of weeks of texting we discovered tha
t we were both going to be at the same concert again but this time in another city it was a guy weekend for me and a girl weekend for her so her and her friends met up with me and my friends before the concert we did a little bar hopping together her group was younger than mine and I was the only single person among my friends we noticed that none of the women were wearing wedding rings leading us to assume they were all unmarried they were all younger than us and there didn't seem to be much in
terest Beyond friendship that was fine with me at the time I wasn't looking for a relationship anyway after visiting a couple of bars we went to the concert her group had floor tickets while my group had seats I thought that would be the end of our interaction for the night after the concert my friends and I went to a bar and then to our hotels shortly after I arrived at my room the woman texted me asking if I wanted to join her for some more drinks she was at a place close to my hotel so I agre
ed expecting to see her and her friends I was surprised to find it was just her we ended end up heading back to my hotel before I even finished my drink it was a memorable night once we returned home she started visiting my house during the day I have a flexible job and usually work from home she traveled around the area for her job so she had time to visit during the day she would come over after my children went to school and leave before they returned some days she was at my house almost the
entire time my children were at school even if it wasn't my designated time with them however she never came over at night or during the weekends it was strictly a Friends with Benefits type of relationship which was perfect for me I was deeply involved with my children even coaching two of their teams so it never interfered with my time with them or my friends moreover I wasn't seeking a relationship especially not one with someone younger who might want children as I was done having kids I was
upfront with her about my feelings and she was understanding she mentioned she wasn't looking for a relationship either this Arrangement lasted for almost a year eventually I met someone who is now my wife and I ended things with her she took it well and we never texted each other again a year after meeting my wife we got married two years ago I encountered this woman again at a neighborhood Gathering my wife and I were introduced to her and her husband by a friend of mine who mentioned they ha
d recently bought the house next to his when we first saw each other there was no awkwardness we simply smiled and said hello I shared our past with my wife that night my wife is very understanding and we both acknowledge that we have had past relationships so it was not a big deal her husband turned out to be a great guy and he started hanging out with my group of friends this year he joined one of my fantasy football leagues consequently he sent me a friend request on Facebook after I accepted
he also sent a friend request to my wife curious my wife looked at his profile and inquired about the timeline of my friends with benefits relationship ship with his wife which was 5 years ago she pointed out a recent post indicating that he and his wife had been married for 8 years Story five married for 19 years before my wife cheated on me I will be 75 this July and I have seen a lot of things I wanted to share my story with the younger generation before quite frankly I die I have lung cance
r and do not expect to be around much longer so this information needs to get out there I got married when I was 18 in 1964 it feels like I am not even the same person anymore I used to be in good physical shape and now I am stuck in a wheelchair my wife and I both had to work full-time since I did not have the income to support both of us I worked in construction and she cleaned hotel rooms we never had any children but we still had time to ourselves on the weekends I do not think we ever argue
d but this was so long ago I am losing details however we did not have any issues getting along over the years I started to make more money and she was able to quit her job and stay at home I would work longer nights though and our marriage turned more into a friendship honestly we rarely had sex and although I still loved her I felt like it was different we did not spend enough time together towards the end I take the blame for leading us down the wrong road with my job as you will read later o
n this was not the only issue but still I should have addressed this situation while I still could have one night I got back from work and at first every everything seemed normal dinner was ready and we had the TV set to baseball my favorite back in the day I talked to her in the kitchen for a little and went to my room to change out of my work clothes when I went in there I found a box of condoms on my nightstand I started to panic because I had a vasectomy years before this and never used cond
oms I immediately asked my wife about them and she could not think of an explanation in time she started crying and came clean about the cheating she had invited her friend from work over for sex while I was out and apparently forgot to get rid of the condoms I am not ashamed to admit I was crying as well after hearing that I tried to find out why she did this and she said she just was not attracted to me was lonely and never enjoyed our sex I did not know what to say and ended up leaving we got
divorced after 19 years of being married in my 40s I was a disaster I lost all confidence and motivation to go on I started drinking and eventually became an alcoholic it took me until my 60s to kick this habit I could not look at myself in the mirror while thinking I was a failure of a man I wanted to date again but I just thought the same would happen again it never occurred to me that I was bad in bed and I really did not have any good answers my skin started to wrinkle a bit especially on t
he back of my legs but I took pride in maintaining my figure for a while and when I had sex during our marriage I swear she enjoyed it I kept my my tough guy appearance through my 30s and would still wear my bandana during sex which was a turn on for her I was generous and always went down on her when she wanted me to I used rings to maintain erections and I could always orgasm extra hard which was a fetish of hers if I tried my best by definition I could not do anything else as time went by tho
ugh I started to think about the idea that at an older age sex was not too important and about 5 years ago I started dating again we do not have an active sex life but she assured me that there was nothing wrong with me I remarried last year which made me so happy but unfortunately that is when I got my cancer diagnosis since then I have lost a lot of energy and my new wife is the only one that keeps me going we are trying chemotherapy but the future looks bleak in my remaining days I want to sh
are some knowledge I have collected over the years to make the world a better place my mental abilities are also slowly waning so I need to do this before it is too late I hope all reading this can learn something from me to make their life better
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