Should Straight Men Be At Lesbian Bars?

let's watch our beautiful Z our wonderful  thoughtful Z is kology and I make videos about everything and anything to do with modern  society and that is precisely what we are talking about today because this is a very interesting  video reaction that I think underpins a rather prevalent phenomena in modern societies today  especially as it pertains to social media now this video may be about lesbian bar drama but I  think it speaks to a rather bigger issue that I think is so so important and is

just so as  I said prevalent today now I'm going to be reacting to a reaction of the original video  by a content creator who I think exemplifies this point that I'm going to be trying to  make because it is something that has been getting on I wouldn't say my nerves exactly but  it's something that really speaks to this issue right now which is minorities not being taken  seriously and increasingly not being taken seriously because of video reactions such as  this and what they examp exemplify

and I think the thing which this reaction really shows is  the difference the Stark difference between two groups of people and the sort of monopolization  over a conversation and over the entirety of people by this one group of people who are  just at least when it comes to social media everywhere lesbians in our world of the oppression  Olympics there are in my mind two groups of people the first being actual minorities and the second  group being People Who cosplay their minority status this

isn't to say that the cosplayers  aren't minorities it's just to say that they have essentially created either a brand or an aesthetic  around their minority status which they actually don't live by mainly because not all minorities  are equal in so far as being minorities there are particular minorities who are more privileged  than other minorities and no minority is exactly the same same comes from the same background or  the same circumstances has the same experiences Etc what I see online i

s that people who cosplay  their minority status get a lot more attention and are a lot more successful than actual minorities  and I think this is for quite obvious reasons firstly their minority cosplaying is often  very aestheticized it looks good and it gets them brownie points from the group and from their  subscribers and their viewers being a minority is seen as something hip or cool and trendy you can  create a whole style an entire brand around being a minority and for that reason peopl

e essentially  want to be you or they want to emulate you why I call it cosplaying is because these people aren't  in fact living the realities of being a minority and this leads me to the Crea kiwi and this sort  of content which I think really exemplifies this very point this very difference between actual  minorities and those who like to cosplay their minority status and this particular video reaction  exemplifies this point perfectly for me in this video the qu kyi reacts to a recent Tik To

k drama  revolving around a lesbian bar and this is said video which went viral on Tik Tok and which has  resulted in a plethora of responses from different individuals I was actually going to cover it but  then I didn't cover it so now we're going to cover it anyways because I had some thoughts all across  the internet Friday night I went to my first lesbian bar I was about to go home early but then  my friend who's a lesbian came over to the bar at the restaurant we were at and said I'm going

to  go to this bar do you want to come and I was like absolutely why not we got there and I was having  so much fun everyone was so nice the music was all like Renee rap and I was living my best life until  one of our guy friends wanted to meet up with us and he comes into the bar for quite literally 2  minutes literally wanted to come and say hello and leave girl approaches him pretty soon after  he walks in and goes what are you doing here to be honest I was a little taken aback because as  a

straight woman in a gay bar and also a straight woman who goes to a a male gay bar I've never felt  like that before or been approached like that the girl goes on to say like I've been coming to this  bar for 10 years and blah blah blah basically like my friend didn't belong there now I get it it's  a gay bar for women for women but the amount of very obviously flamboyantly gay men that were  in that bar that were not being approached and yelled at was wild and I'm just curious uh your  on this

because I was like I looked at her and I was nice until I wasn't but the way she spoke  to us like as a group and I looked at her and I was like he is with us he's good like she was  not having it she did not want him in up at all and I get it but like there's no rules against  that unless there are and I didn't see them but we left soon after because we had already been  there for a while and he just literally came to say hello but I'm just curious like are males  are straight males not allowed

to go to a lesbian bar I'm genuinely curious like I said this was my  first time going to a legit lesbian bar so please like enlighten me I guess like he's probably never  going to go back there again cuz it really wasn't worth the drama but I just feel it was a little  dramatic so this woman had a I would say a rather negative experience at a lesbian bar actually  a queer bar if you go on to the website of the cubby hole it is actually very clear that this  is a place that is open to all peopl

e cubby hole aims to maintain a safe space for all no bigotry  racism transphobia or discrimination of any kind will be tolerated we rely on all of our patrons to  uphold a did Z have to take out the isms from this safe space for all staff members are available to  assist if ever necessary so by my interpretation not allowing discrimination of any kind means  not discriminating against against a straight white hisis gender man who comes into your bar  and isn't causing anybody any harm which thi

s man wasn't by all accounts now what I found most  interesting was their queer kiwi's response to this and this for me is why so much support for  the lgbtq plus Community is really waning and I think no it's waning cuz people love to hate  bro they just love to hate bro it's not it's me because of Optics but not because of actual  like why do people even feel this in the first place as a as a queer girl that used to go to  lesbian bars and hate when straight women were there I hated it I hated

when straight women  would show up to the bar cuz it was exhausting enough trying to ready approach a woman and then  you find out she's straight and you're like Jesus like lesbian spaces are very hard to come by but  also this isn't a lesbian space this seems to be a gender inclusive space so it's waning for good  reason when it comes to this kind of cosplaying of one's minority status he's probably never going  to go back there again because it really wasn't worth the drama but I just feel it

was a little  dramatic the entitlement that like wait are we not going to see the other girls response bro if  kid doesn't show is kid going to show the other person's response okay if you say she will she  is going to okay okay drips off of this video is astounding honestly it's quite impressive the  level of entitlement that exists in this video it's absolutely absurd to me that she doesn't  understand like the problem here and is confused by the confrontation that happened um and the  upset

that it caused now this is one problem that I find with these minority cosplayers I find  it really an issue that when somebody asks a very honest question a very vulnerable question in some  cases such as for instance about transgenderism or about identifying as non-binary for instance  because these things are very complicated and very difficult there is this assumption that  you are somehow either being purposely stupid or that you are entitled for asking a question  because this woman was ac

tually just asking a question because in her experience and I would  say in the experiences that I've had going to gay bars there really hasn't been this sort of  rhetoric that straight people aren't allowed even if we take sexuality out of the conversation  even if we removed that and we're just like this is a woman's space because you know she is a  woman so she should be able to understand that at least right you don't invite men into that  space because it is a sanctuary away from men that i

s not a space for men to be yeah um and  especially sis het men like she mentioned that there were some like flamboyant gay men men that  were there and like why isn't that a problem the reason that isn't so much of a problem is one  if they were invited by like their safic friend then they are allowed to be there just as you  as a straight woman are allowed to be there they aren't going to be going and like hitting  on women and making women uncomfortable they are there with their safic friend

because they are  both queer they are in a queer space together and respecting that they are a guest in that Aqua  space okay this is a real issue that I see at the moment which is interesting because this is sort  of the exact same thing which allegedly the queer community and allegedly minorities have been  trying to fight against and that is profiling people based on their appearance and how they look  physically profiling and being judged on how you look and your appearance is literally the

bane of  existence for minorities if this is something that we are meant to be trying to eradicate why is it  okay for you to judge somebody on how they look I for instance look like a very vanilla straight  individual I'm not and so am I not allowed into particular spaces because I don't look quote  unquote queer can I be real with you I I do think spaces should be for certain people like  certain Vibes I like going to queer spaces like I don't like straight clubs I don't like the vibe  the str

aight club Vibe is like very uncomfortable to me but I'm not going to tell Street people to  change the vibe like orientation seems to play on Vibe because the bubbles reflect like the cultural  impact of those vibes the reason queer people want spaces is just so they can speak unmasked or  be unmasked the reason like black people want certain spaces so they can be unmasked and like  that's even some of the reasons why like I mean everyone feel some sort of way about it look  even like I know so

many Catholic people who don't hang out with non-catholics cuz they are not  comfortable around them like because they don't feel like they can speak their like their truest  heart right and I'm not saying this should be in any way legalized like I don't think legally  you should be able to do this just socially I don't understand like why you would want to be  in that space But if you want to be in that space you have to understand that like some people that  is their safe space right so again

like I don't think anyone should get kicked out I don't think  there should be a law I don't think anything like that I think if we respect communities we should  consider if we're overstepping and that's it like if you want to be considerate of people just is  just like human to human not like the laws like human to human you know what I mean it's like  people work really hard to create Like A vibe you know what I mean and so it's kind of like if  you don't [ __ ] with the vibe and you stand o

ut in the vibe it's kind of like why but also I can  understand how difficult it is for individuals to want to go to a space like I said in my 20s  it was really difficult to be in women's spaces there weren't very many and then on top of that  you're dancing with a girl and she goes hey I'm straight by the way it's like why are you dancing  with me like I'm in the space to date it's already hard enough but I can understand that perspective  as well like I feel like I can understand all the pers

pectives but like we're now we're asking the  question of who perspective is more right well it doesn't matter it's categories what category of  person fits into this space you know what I mean so it's just like it is one of those things right  where I cuz I used to go to lesbian bars and some of my straight guy friends would come and show up  and they would flirt with the girls and I'd like stop doing that and they would think it was funny  cuz the girls were sometimes bisexual but it was reall

y annoying cuz then the space would be taken  up because the bisexuals were there the guys would show up but then what happens if there's a Les you  know what I mean so like there's there's something to be said about being open you know what I mean  to the fact that's like some people go to certain spaces for certain Vibes right and again not I  don't want anything legally I don't want like be people to be able to say like you can't eat  here you're black you you can't eat here you're gay like I

don't want that but socially in terms  of like giving people space like in Seattle there was like a people of color event and I got invited  and some of my wife friends were like why do you get to go and I was like because I'm a Syrian and  they're counting that but like I understand that I'm not brown but I'm getting invited and they  were like I don't get why you get to be invited and I was like I don't get why you want to go  because like I don't know what you have in common with these peopl

e because at this event it's  going to be a very specific Vibe you know what I mean and like you're not going to vibe there  anyway so why do you want to go and they were just like well I don't get why you get to go but  I can't go and I'm like cuz you're not going to be able to Vibe like you have to Vibe and you can't  Vibe cuz like you're going to make it weird and you're going to put people on edge and they like  it was just like explained to people like you're you can like you're going to ru

in the vibe like  with peace and love it's like trying to get get all my friends together in a space like I can get  all my friends together in a space but someone's going to ruin the vibe because they don't mesh the  energies it's not personal it's just the message the energies don't mesh you know enough I mean  this idea that they are not flamboyantly dressed and very feminine looking straight men is absurd  to me this idea that this man who was confronted before anybody even knew his sexualit

y was  assumed to be straight because of how he looked and his girl as if Vibes AR look I love to assume  things things about people we all do it we all do it and like I don't know why we're pretending  like we're not assuming things about people or like guessing hey you feel gay are you gay hey  you feel autistic are you autistic hey you feel straight are you straight you know what I mean  like I just feel like there's nothing inherently wrong as long as you don't like discriminate  or hate peo

ple because of a thought in your head that you haven't like clarified mannerisms  I suppose is also absurd to me and this is what makes me realize that cosplaying minorities  don't actually care about Equity they don't actually care about egalitarianism they don't  want Discord says so as a CIS straight white man I am being an ally by not going where my insert  minority friends hang out yes like if you can't get it it's bubbles like guys when you go into the  bubble it means you have to adhere t

o the culture and the culture might not know how to make space  for you right like I don't take certain kinds of my friends to certain places because they can't  Vibe because if they show up people will not feel comfortable because they won't know how to feel  like they can be themselves it's the same way I feel about when I hear people talk about nerd  divergency on the internet there are certain types of nerd like the way you talk about it will  tell me if I invite you over to a party with ner

d diversion friends because if you're going to freak  out over somebody having like a meltdown over like a texture sensitivity you can't come to the party  because most people won't know what to do with that so I'm not going to invite you to the party  even though I know you're a good good person right so again I think we're like why are we pretending  like there's not a Vibe when all my brothers are hanging out with their friends why would I [ __ ]  go and ruin the vibe why would I go as the ol

der sister or as the girl and ruin the vibe like if  the vibe is guys hanging out and cracking beers and farting why would I go now sometimes I would  go and maybe categories guys it's okay that every event isn't for you I don't know why we want every  event to be for us anyways right we're saying is there okayness to having a certain space for a  certain Vibe now of course this is a public um like bar so anyone could be in and out of the  bar they're asking from a social perspective why are you

in this bar they're not asking like  should you legally be kicked out of the bar you know what I mean that's not what they're saying  they're just saying like why are you here like if my mom my mom has said this to me a thousand times  she goes if I'm having a Catholic event why would you come to this event with a pray shirt or or  pro-choice shirt why are you coming to this event and ruining the vibe everyone I've ever talked  to knows exactly what ruining the vibe is like you're the person wh

o stands out right so that's  what I'm thinking this is more or less like like maybe they were like maybe it like it like made  people uncomfortable or maybe it's like why are you here it's not saying you shouldn't be here  it's like oh why are you here again let's wait for the whole story but that's that's where my  brain is assuming this is going something like that you know what I mean want a particular group  of people to have power instead they want to have power they don't actually want an

ything meaningful  to change they just want an exchange of the Baton from somebody else's hands to their hands I will  stay that gay men going into a lesbian bar by themselves that shouldn't happen they shouldn't  be there regardless you brought a man a CIS and I don't know about that but okay that's like an  opinion she can have right head man into a safe space for Quia women where Quia women feel safe  because we don't have very many spaces you know there are not many places where queo women f

eel  welcome and accepted and safe and so inviting a sisit man into one of those spaces is going to  cause people to be a little bit on edge and a little bit uncomfortable I think that's fair  to say some people might be uncomfortable is fair right I think that's okay but like you know  we don't have to kick him out automatically it's just saying like again like oh interesting that  you're here really like to go into these queer women spaces and take it upon themselves to hit  on women and make

women uncomfortable and it really ruins the entire thing for everyone that  it was created for I'm so sorry to break this to and also I've heard the same commentary from gay  men there're sick of women in their spaces women go to gay clubs all the time so many gay men I  know [ __ ] hate that they hate women in that space they're like go the [ __ ] away so again I  think it's okay to have gay spaces where like men go to gay clubs to see men and there's no women  and I think it's okay to have gay

spaces where women get to come and hang out I think both are  valid as long as it's because it's about wanting to feel safe not wanting to exclude it's about  wanting to say like dude can I just [ __ ] spend one day you know what I mean hanging out and like  I think that's really fair anybody but bars and Cubs are not safe spaces they're just not bars and  Cubs are I think they could be I think there could they could be right I think they could be but also  I understand that they're legal busin

esses but I do think they could be I think in an Ideal World  we'd find a way to make it so I do like having a women's night which by the way a lot of men hate a  lot of men get very upset that there's like women night then make a boy night you know what I mean  like make a women boy night or binary night or make a you know what I mean places where people go  because they are thirsty because they want to get intoxicated in order to forget about how terrible  their lives are or to have a good tim

e they places where people go to hook up with strangers and  they places where people go to engage in casual sexual encounters with people if you are going to  go into those spaces you need to be prepared for that in short at a lesbian only bar the fantasy  of this safe space this Sacred Space where woman can feel quote unquote safe a lesbian can be just  as predatory and just as harassing as any straight white man can if you are going to a bar or you are  going clubbing with the expectation tha

t you are entering a safe space you will soon realize that  when you go to these spaces safety is not the key thing having a good time via intoxication and in  some cases drugs and psychedelics is really the objective and this leads to another reason which I  I don't see people talking about that much because it really doesn't feed into the narrative that  lesbian spaces like clubs and bars are closing down or so infrequent but one second just before  we get into all that I would like to give a

huge thank you to today's video sponsor rocket money  as we all know let's go rocket money I'm going to mute her for a second um fishy said a lot of  Les a lot of LGBT bars historically have been intended as a safe space exactly historically  LGBT Bars were intended to be a safe space for people and so I think that's what we're also  forgetting what about biker bars or Dive Bar bars you think those aren't safe spaces for people  they just don't call it safe spaces guys cuz safe space is a constr

uct from a bubble right like  dive bars like biker bars those are safe spaces that they have a cultural expectation of behavior  right 10-minute ad is it a 10-minute ad oh my God why are there so few lesbian only bars and  why don't they turn over a prophet it's for a very realistic reason which is that just like  straight wom are less likely than straight men to go clubbing and to go to bars lesbian yeah I madx  has all these people being judgy and you have yet to know what happened yeah I'm an

noyed that kology  didn't play the videos back to back are you sure she plays it guys I don't see it in here oh there  it is I think I just saw it yeah it's right here okay we'll see it in a bit we're going to see  the response like why the why it even happened but let's see are less likely to go to bars and to  clubs than gay men it's not because of homophobia or the desecration of some safe space it's because  lesbians would much rather stay at home lesbians would much rather have lesbian brun

ch out in  the daylight where they can actually I love lesbian brunch she see and hear people who they're  speaking to and form real meaningful connections with somebody then engag in casual sexual  encounters just like straight woman would rather engage in meaningful connections and meaningful  sexual encounters than casual sexual encounters and hookups and this is why gay clubs and gay bars  are so much more successful and are so much more prevalent in today's age of Greater acceptance  of lgb

tq plus people then are lesbian bars and lesbian clubs because they don't turn over the  same kind of profit because they don't attract the same kind of loyal eager audience of people  who are going to come there looking for casual sexual encounters like men do men are horn dogs  got it and this is what feeds into that argument that lesbian spaces and lesbian communities are  gentrified by Hannah says lesbians are busy having multiple orgasms I mean you know first the queer  men that is by gay m

en and then by straight people who follow the gay men into those spaces because  it's cool and hip and it's a new thing and trendy and all that when lesbian bars don't turn just and  just a reminder it's funny that in gay clubs gay men have to worry about women women showing up and  then at lesbian bars they have to worry about men showing up so ultimately we're all just worried  about people the club wasn't intended for like there are plenty of gay men that don't mind women  at their clubs ther

e's plenty of lesbian people that probably don't mind men at their clubs right  but there's it doesn't always revolve around you so again don't we have equal say don't the people  who want to go to a lesbian bar and just see women there and the gay guys who want to go to a gay bar  and just see men there aren't they just as valid as the people that want to be inclusive to their  straight friends like how is one less valid than the other and if they're both valid why can't we  have multiple optio

ns for those spaces right cuz like what is inherently wrong with like going  into a space expecting a Vibe you know and over a profit they expand their demographic of Interest  which mainly includes queer people so gay men come in and then gay men bring all of their straight  friends and straight people come in and that's how these bars and these clubs are able to run by  being fully inclusive of all people basically if lesbians were into casual sex in as much as gay  men are into casual sex the

n this wouldn't even be a conversation and there would be lesbian  only bars lesbian only spaces that would be able to turn over a profet unfortunately that is  just not the case and so this idea that there are sacred places for lesbians only that there are  bars that are lesbians only is a fantasy for the vast majority of bars and clubs that are directed  and aimed at lesbian only Natalie says why is she framing like LGBT people [ __ ] who only want  casual sex no no no barg goers barg goers ar

e often [ __ ] who are like hanging out to get laid  or if it's like a dive bar it's more of a chill space so I would argue that in all my clubbing  years I've basically only Club De gay clubs and lesbian clubs all of it was sex focused all of  it was alcohol focused almost none of it was a focus on anything else and if there was it was  like a special night at the the bar club so I think she's talking about that like lots I mean I  could not tell you how much money I spent at bars cuz every sho

t was like [ __ ] $15 to $30 like we  were spending so much money at these bars and so um I think she means bar Culture Club culture but  not like bar see there's dive bars that are much more chill less into the shots much more into the  beers and ciders then in Croatia I was going to say I like the bar culture here at least the ones  I've been to they're like cafes but with alcohol and I've been enjoying those more but not all the  bar are like that just the ones my husband's been taking me to

cuz I tell him I don't want to go to  like a party bar I they have like cafes so imagine a coffee shop but with alcohol it's really cool  actually it's like so much fun I I really enjoy it demographics sorry editing me here I just want  to make this point even clearer by giving another example which is a very interesting example that  has recently come to the attention of the internet and that is the opening of a lesbian only and that  is a biological iCal lesbian CIS lesbian only bar that is op

ening in London later this year this  bar is being opened by feminist campaigner Jenny Watson in London later this year and is called  the L Community now I think that this bar and everything that it is doing is representative of  this point this bar would not last long at all without heavy subsidization and the way that it  is subsidizing itself is by classing itself as a private members Club so it's not actually running  on a conventional business as would any other bar or club and this subsid

ization that's how some  Middle Eastern relatives and friends of ours do it they have like membership only cigar lounges  and like bars and stuff it's coming from the fact that it isn't actually a bar it's a private  members club which means that members are going to likely be held to contracts they're going to  have to pay membership fees and like with any private members Club there's likely going to be  wealthy members that is probably wealthy gender critical feminists friends of Jenny Watson

she's  probably made a a lot of friends and connections due to other controversies that she's been  involved in earlier this year or I believe last year when it comes to gender critical feminism  Etc and if it does last which I doubt it will because I think a lot of gender criticals are a  lot more talk than they are bite just like with activists in general a lot more talk than bite  I don't think it will really come to as great a fruition uh in the long term at least but  if it does last it wil

l last not because it is running on a traditional business model but  because it is running on a very unconventional one that is a private membership and a club in  short it would not be able to Brand itself as an exclusionary segregationist Club where only CIS  lesbians are allowed to go yeah this is difficult obviously like I want people to live in a world  cuz you you're only here for a short time feeling safe but obviously like by proxy there will be  some like levels of discrimination that

ends up occurring you know what I mean like you can't  have a like what if you had like a Muslim club that like made all women wear hijab if they came  in and then you had people who were like I don't wear hijab I want to be a modern Muslim it's  like well you can't come in it's like well I kind of get that like there are Latin Masses in  Catholicism where you have to wear a veil over your hair and I kind of feel like yeah I get that  also you're just like laring at the same I think all religion

is laring so you're just like all  agreeing to lar and you're like oh yes mastera like this is the kingdom and I am the king and  like you're just like all laring some pretend game which I love for you and the same thing  with like even lesbian bars it's like laring a safe space or like pretending that like this is  our third like our third space like a way a place away from home like you know eventually I think  people usually get over that need to have those spaces but also maybe they don't I

don't know I  definitely did I'm so glad I'm past my bar days and my club days G I'm so oh my God but again when  I was in those spaces at the time I really did want women only spaces especially since I had  recently been um well not recently but i' had recently owned the fact that I had been assaulted  and so like being around men was just like really difficult and triggering and it was even hard to  be around Partners it was just hard in general so it was kind of nice to go to women only spac

es  but then like you know like non-binary or like uh what's it called when you're assigned male at  Birth I guess a male assigned male at Birth people would show up looking very like man and it would  like make me uncomfortable like that was my fault and I took myself out of that environment because  they again it's not a safe space for like grape victims necessarily like it's just a grapes a  safe space for people who identify as women which is valid like I want all things to exist I want  the

re to be a women space that allows non-binary SL trans women who don't physically transition  in a space that's safe I like that I want a space for women that need to be around people  who appear women you know in any Capac I don't know what language she use don't [ __ ] cancel  me like I just want all to exist you know ASB says Brit did you just forget how to call Sis men  no no no it's not a man it's an assigned male at Birth woman who didn't transition cuz they're  non-binary woman it's it's

a very confused transom but it's not transwoman it's like a non biner it  doesn't matter trans wom nonb doesn't matter the point is is that like I want all these spes to  exist in a way that it's like rooted in creating a safe space and not like hating on other people  but because there's going to be deviation in every individual it does want to it does naturally want  to then spring up a new club and a new club and a new club and then eventually you don't have enough  num num like members to ma

ke anything work which is also fine like you know what I mean so I think  like ultimately group activities mean you need a group and then those group activities whether or  not you know it's at a bar or at your house for a weekly Bible study or gay Bible study you know  that's up to what resources you have you know at your disposal you know Bobby says see at least  the membership model makes it more clear what the space is supposed to be fishy says I guess the  question why does it need to be in

sert identity only there's such a different energy from I just  want a Vibe versus I hate this group so let's exclude them I don't think it's yes so there's  a difference between I hate this group let's exclude them and let's make a safe space so we can  feel like we can unmask and be ourselves which is why the difference is so nuanced and people don't  know the difference look we don't want a group of people creating a a safe space about hating other  people right but that's the why so why do y

ou need the safe space well I just want to be able to  unmask okay like in that case you know what I mean this is probably like a space for you or isn't a  space for you and like again you can't just like the vibe of the space is so specific and why it  exists again how do I we just don't know why so it's hard for us to imagine that it's not hateful  but it could just be about the people feeling like they can finally breathe you know what I mean  lots of people around the world guys in order to

make Society work a lot of us are constantly  uncomfortable a lot of people are constantly like oh my God from advertisement to music on the radio  to people like secondhand smoke like all of us are doing our best to live in a society together but  a lot of people I would argue every person has at one point in their life been uncomfortable and  felt like Jesus I wish I could just be myself but I can't cuz like this isn't a safe space for  me whether you call it a safe space or not I've experienc

ed it with so many different people  I refuse to believe if this isn't a universal experience of like realizing like oh you're the  odd one out or realizing like shoot like how do I you know what I mean how do I be myself you know  what I mean Natalie says the tur the turfs want to mask off lesbian bar it does sound a little  bit like that and that's the other problem is like obviously we're very trans-inclusive here I  really think like the trans experience is a real invalid experience but agai

n you know and I do  think it's like turfs are probably one of the Le my least they're so I do not have a good time  with turfs like I don't find my talk you know what I've never I cannot have a friend who's  a Turf like I'm happy to be friendly towards everybody CU I think everybody has dignity and  the like sancity of life but like I don't have any friends in my life that are turfs because they're  exhausting like Turf turfs like oh just oh my God if I hear one just exhausting but I understand

  right like I understand to an extent I get it actually yeah turfs are very specific but could  they have a bar that's anti-trans women and men um again I think legality no but culturally I  think you could probably make that work as long as nobody CU again why would you even want to  be in the bar with the turfs anyways you know what I'm saying like I think people just want to  force themselves like okay I'm sorry it's like the gay people that want the Catholic Church to  marry them you're bei

ng weird it's like it's like why are you going into other people's homes and  demanding they like accept you I just think it's super [ __ ] weird like legally I think people  should have rights but like if we're going to let people believe in like invisible Gods then  like they get to lar bro like I don't know it just feels like people are so unhappy and bitter  they want to force themselves into other people's lives which is why we should have like a general  understanding that like LGBT people

are protected by the law but also like are the religious like  again you know what I it's just like G if it was a traditional bar like cubby hole and personally  I don't think that's subsidization will be enough before this new club the old Community has to  expand its membership and clientele that will probably look like expanding to other gender  critical feminists to women in general but it will definitely not be in my humble opinion a  CIS lesbian only membership private club for very long

I hope that makes my point a bit CLA yes I  guess magic trip says why I was born Catholic and raised why could I not marry the I love bro I was  raised Catholic and I was confirmed and baptized and I still didn't get to marry my husband in  the church my husband and I are not married in the church we're secularly married it's against  the Catholic church and the Vatican and there are rules for us just to get married like we have to  follow protocol because it's a madeup thing like why would I fo

rce the religion to marry me just  because I like what what am I a child marry me I want it why I'm not a I don't believe in God like  I don't believe in the religion if I believed in the religion I would have married a Catholic like  obviously what am I going to do Force the church to marry us my parents didn't even come to my  wedding because we got married secularly because they're Catholics they don't go to non-catholic  weddings so again like and every Catholic bubble is different but the i

f you're Roman Catholic like  There Are Rules it sucks I'm sure it sucks for a lot which by the way I don't believe in God or  religions but you know they have rules lesbians but for most lesbians that I encounter we would  much rather go to as I said brunch a lesbian only brunch then go lesbian only cubbing and look like  if you believe in religion that's fine but it's made up to me so even wanting to be married and a  thing that I think is made up is like stupid but if you want to do it and yo

u believe in that thing  that's made up you do you but forcing people to do it when you don't even believe in it in the first  place is so [ __ ] weird like you know what I mean I just don't get it and B hopping like you say I  don't understand why she was upset like there's not a rule that men can't be in that like no  there isn't an official rule that men aren't allowed to go in like straight men aren't allowed  to go in however it's pretty it's pretty heavily implied who is it implied by thou

gh because look  if you can make up a religion you should be able to make up a lesbian only bar you know what I  mean mmm says sorry about your parents nah it's fine they're Catholic what are you going to do  it's like asking my vegan friends to eat meat for what you know Kayla says you can make a Reformed  Church exactly if you can make up a religion and start a church you know what I mean like why are  you even doing it guys why are you spending your one time on Earth making up religions why n

ot  just chill the [ __ ] out bro you can do you but you're never going to get me on your side  to be like let's just make make up a church so we can get married it's like do you even believe  in this religion where do you think it came from like it sounds weird like why you laring so hard  bro you know what I mean like that's weird magic says it just sounds so harsh because we are just  looking for a place within the communities we are born nope not me I'm the black sheep I obviously  the commu

nity wasn't made for me that's why I pop bubbles I'm not going to ask the community to  change so I feel more comfortable because I don't want them to do that to me either so I get it  but I don't get it like right like what do I want to be a part of the community I was born into if  like the community has a Vibe and a culture why do they have to change just because I'm the one who  stands out seems weird dude you know come in all different shapes and sizes all different opinions  so who making

these rules because this feels like you are making an arbitrary rule about something  that you feel quite strongly about which is that straightness is sort of categorically bad or has  very negative connotations to it that's not the Assumption that's the wrong assumption it's  not that straightness is bad it's it's that we want a space to it's that people want a space  to chill in outside of this energy it's not that straightness is is bad obviously we work every  day people people are straight

every day you work with them you don't think straight people are  bad you know Ted with the Super Chat thank you so much appreciate that says thanks for being  awesome britne I followed your coverage of the recent Vos drama and I think you were pretty much  on point I appreciate that that was a difficult one I appreciate that again we're not talking  about legally we're talking about culturally right you know we're talking about culturally  not legally right but and this is all based on St stere

otypes especially stereotypes that regard  profiling Somebody by how they look as opposed to a consensus that has been built by a community of  very heterogenous people who have very different opinions and perspectives on the matter not even  cubby hole agrees with you on trying to create this quote unquote safe space yeah they don't  doesn't mean they're wrong though I want the argument for why they're wrong to want it do you  get what I'm saying I get all of this is correct cubby hole is right

kidology is right the people  who want men out of the bar right everybody is Right In what way are they wrong to just want to  come to a an assumed women's space and just be around women you know what I mean like what what  part of that is wrong to say like that would be nice to have that kind of space like is that wrong  cuz like I don't think you can make the argument that it's wrong if they just want to relax and  have like their tits out and like a safe space like I just can't see how you c

ould argue that's  wrong it's like a women's only Spa you go there expecting a very specific Vibe you know what I  mean I can understand that like I would go to a women's Spa with like a trans woman there I  can also understand trans phobes feeling very uncomfortable around that but in general if I  ran a woman's Spa trans women would be able to be there right but there would be a Vibe you  know there'd have to be a Vibe check but if someone's like oh my friend wants to come and  he's here with

me no you can't come but also a woman's Spa usually has gender like separated  things for a reason CU like people are naked and there's like all these rules but some businesses  are allowed to discriminate on gender so maybe bar should will create people at a ball legally you  cannot deny them entry um but it seems it seems like a pretty obvious conclusion to draw to not  bring those yeah you're right there are women's only clubs in New York exactly I don't know what  we're think like why can't

we make this space just make sure it's for a reason of creating a safety  and not the reason for discriminating just make sure that when the group is meeting they're  not hating on men make sure they're just you know what I mean it'd be different like as long  as people are congregating and they're not like down with men like as long as it's like for a  relaxed space you know what I mean those people into these spaces and to make oh yeah a woman's  only gym I love the idea of a woman's only gym

and a man's only gym I love that [ __ ] idea you  know men get uncomfortable working out in front of women too you guys do know that right the men some  men have deep insecurities about their bodies and deep shame and and they don't want women looking  at them because they're insecure but feel no way about men doing it I think people should have  spaces to do this now of course whether or not it makes money that's secondary but I do think  generally it's not necessarily bad as long as again once

you're in the space you're not thinking  how do we take down women how do we destroy the woman you know how do I destroy men you know what  I mean even worse this lesbian bar is one of only three in the entirety of New York and it has  capacity of 75 only 75 people can go in there and you took up one of those space with a CIS head  male friend to come say hi which is well that's fine if he's just saying hi for a second like  you know what I mean just say hi and go [ __ ] and if the club is if t

he bar is empty that night  I also think it's okay if he sat and took up one of the spaces if the bar is empty if it's really  crowded no but if it's empty that's fine cuz he had to wait in line to get in there I know there  was a [ __ ] line to get in there he had to do we know that wait in line to get in there there's no  way he just went in to do we know that though say hi okay firstly how do you know this this is such  an assump exactly Z how does she know this how do you know that there was

or wasn't a line This is  pure assumptive argumentation it makes absolutely no sense this is just your bias playing in and  that's fine all human beings are biased but admit that and acknowledge that to yourself and to your  audience don't just claim that you know something when you clearly don't know anything because this  makes your entire argument fruitless and basis and nobody's going to believe you what I also find  so interesting about this argument is that this kind of argument can be an

d has been used by  lesbians and by people who are then deemed to be transphobic when they say for instance that  a transpan that is a trans lesbian is taking up the space of a lesbian that is a CIS lesbian and  this has been a very contentious answer argument within the queer Community for some time and  I've especially seen it going speed dating rather serly for the past few months what I've  noticed and what has happened is that typically there's a divide between 70% CIS lesbians and 30%  tra

ns lesbians now based on the queer kiwi's line of argumentation couldn't a CIS lesbian make  a perfectly valid argument that a transbian is taking up the space of other CIS lesbians  who could otherwise be there but according to the arguments and expectations of the day and  of these events that would be transphobic and discriminatory so by that logic how is this not  discriminatory how is this not being heterophobic to somebody who may come into say a queer space  and therefore in that space is

a minority that is they are heterosexual and in that space they are a  minority so in the same way that transbians are a minority in the lesbian space surely this straight  CIS heteronormative white man based on appearances is a minority in this que space and I want to  return to this point okay first of all we don't want trans women around trans phobes so first and  foremost I don't want my trans friends going into environments with hostile lesbians so that's first  and foremost two I think it

is fine for I mean again we have to we have to we live in a world  and the world has different belief systems okay we religious people lesbians whoever there's going to  be some conflict between like what I believe and what you believe and like what is reasonable again  we don't want white people gathering in a club where they create plots to kill black people we  don't want black people gathering in a club where they make plots to kill white people we don't want  anyone gathering in a club to

kill the thing that they think is bad but if we want to create safe  spaces for people to feel like themselves rooted in some sort of alienation just to feel like they  can breathe whether you're nerd typical or nerd virgent or religious or black or white or whatever  there could be an option for that but because human beings are sort of motivated I think by  their dislike of someone more than even the love of themselves it tends to come out discriminator  discriminatory so again I'm not opposed

to people having a space that fits their belief system about  the world but I am conc concerned about people gathering in a space cuz the mob is crazy in which  they breed hate and dislike for another group of people to the point of taking action against  those people so obviously that's our concern you know what I mean it's not necessarily that  you're Gathering is the possibility that you're Gathering to form an activity around pursuing  people in order to harm them something like that you kn

ow K says the fact that this is the topic of  a convo is so human how dare you not let let let us hang out with you exactly it feels very much  like I want to hang out with you and like consent doesn't matter and again like that's why like  the diverse that's why I say like I don't want to be a part of your clicks I don't want to hang  out with you in public I don't want to hang out with people because nobody understands how just  to respect differences you know what I mean like no judgment I ju

st don't want to like you know  what I mean I just don't want to hang out with you guys like it's too stressful you know yippi  says at what point does a safe space become a hate group it's hard to determine if you're using  the argument like what about safe spaces for white people I think there could be a safe space  for white people it's hard to imagine it but I think it would be more focused around culture and  and not whiteness of skin and the same way that black only spaces or brown only sp

aces tends to  be around culture and letting go of a mask then like um like again it's different CU I know there  are spaces for ethnic white groups like an Irish group or whatever you know what's the typical  Scottish group whatever everyone always brings that up something like that could be more than  reasonable or there could be religious things or other things you know what I mean so I think  like that's reasonable cuz it's about celebrating something um it's just often in America when  why

people gather it's usually because they're hating it is what it is like white people got to  stop like they got to change that stereotype they got to start Gathering to like be positive because  right now every time white people get together and gather somebody be killing some you know what  I'm saying so I'm just you know so again I I think it's about you know you know ingred says  safe space for white people is like the Norwegian festivals we have here in Minnesota there you go  perfect love i

t there you go something like that is fine like I just don't see a problem with that  you know go to line dancing okay it's like yeah go to a country bar and going line dancing and  then some [ __ ] comes in and starts like doing something different like a like ballroom dancing  it's like why are you ruining the flow that's what it can feel like it can feel like that with  orientation because even with orientation comes like cultural like uh history like fishy said  earlier gay spaces were safe

spaces gay bars were safe spaces for gay people so it is difficult  when you come into that space and then you act straight straightness is a culture and you know  how I know cuz straight clubs are different than gay clubs straight bars operate differently than  gay bars straight I do not like straight bars or or if it wasn't different we like it really  makes a difference or you orentation is also rooted in culture how you came out the history  and your relationship with it not all people are n

eutral towards their own orientation K just  just made a whole video about how she hates being a lesbian that Vibe is a very specific Vibe  it's not all people feel that way it's a good way to feel because it's your way of feeling but it's  not everybody's so again like okay there's an if okay like if straight bars were the same as gay  bars the world would look different but they're not they're different they feel different the  vibe is different the demographics are different why would it why

would people like you know what  I'm saying when it comes to the response from the woman who called out and essentially discriminated  against this sis hat male for being in a lesbian space because I think this is so telling as  to why cosplaying minorities are really never at peace and I also would like to add in the part  where she's like I as a straight woman go to male gay B all the time why and she's straight bro  so straight woman brings in a straight guy two straights in a gay space why i

sn't that a problem  why am I allowed there when straight men aren't allowed into lesbian bars I don't think straight  women should be going to gay bars either I mean I kind of agree with her to an extent it depends  on the vibe not literally shouldn't be going like legally but yeah like I said in my in my 20s  when I was trying to just just eight women going to specifically gay or or going to lesbian bars  not gay bars lesbian bars or lesbian dance clubs and then when you're dancing with a woma

n and  she's like just so you know I'm straight it's like okay dude why are you here but then I get  it like I get it too and that's the problem it's like we're all here for different reasons so of  course there's going to be conflict I don't think it's wrong to feel frustrated that the one space  you were hoping to meet other queer people you don't you end up meeting straight people how is  that that shocking how is that not like a totally understandable feeling and this this is where I  know t

hat you are cosplaying your minority status because unlike actual minorities you are able  to abstract yourself from reality without any consequence or any meaningful ramifications to  your being or to yourself or to your minority status and that is because you don't have to  engage meaningfully or impactfully with that reality it doesn't actually impact you you saying  that you don't think that straight woman should be allowed in lesbian only bars either is a pure  abstraction from the reality

that these bars rely on the patronage of all people that's different  that's those are totally different arguments Z yes that is the that's the money argument we're  talking about the feelings argument that's all we're talking about is the feelings argument this  is all about feelings this has nothing to do with how much the bar is making who cares that's a  money argument that's a why you what is this a capitalist meeting we don't care how the bar is  doing we want to know how the people feel a

gain like nobody I don't care about the bar like  I care about the fact that like these people are having this like again maybe because I saw  the discourse on Tik Tok and I've been really thinking about it like anyways we still need to  hear from The Other Woman the woman wasn't asking hey why you at this gay bar do you know you're  not giving money to them like that wasn't it it was like a question of feelings this is a feelings  conversation that I think needs to be understood as one I guess

I don't know whatever oh my God  I'm kind of getting bored in order to just stay afloat for the reasons that I said before about  the difference between how men and women go out at night men are also more likely to spend more  money on drinks and at bars than women are the reality is that these lesbian only safe space  yeah and D says I think she's saying that this clientele is essential to keep the bar running in  the first place I don't care it has nothing to do with the original sentiment fro

m the person  nobody that doesn't matter matter it does not play a role in this conversation she's having  two different conversations now right like this has nothing to do with the original conflict if  if the sacrifice that lesbians have to make for their bars to stay afloat is like men have to be  in there then that's a conversation we can have but that's totally separate from the initial  issue say are above everything else not social justice institutions and safe spaces they are  businesses

working and functioning within a free market where they have to make a profit in  order to stay afloat that yeah but we know that wait that is the reality and that is the priority  above all of this branding kabby Hall like all bars especially queer bars have this very good  branding of being safe spaces of being places where they prioritize the safety of the people who  patronize them but above all okay so Z is isn't explaining it to the person she's explaining it  to the audience right becaus

e like okay else and above all of this branding and all of this gloss  they are ultimately businesses that are trying to make money and like it or not to make money they  have to appeal to a wider demographic of people than lesbians that is just the way that it is  I'm a part of many meetup lesbian only groups and I will tell you that 90% of the events that  are are organized that are arranged are non-club and non-bar related lesbians like to go on Hikes  they like brunch they like game nights t

hey like movie nights and they like going to the theater  and most of the events that are arranged at bars and at clubs that is the 10% that are arranged  at bars and clubs are typically either in just normal bars and clubs where everybody goes or a  room is rented out for the lesbian only event or they are inclusive of everybody that is of qu men  of queer woman of straight people whatever because they know that that is how they're going to make  money for these events straight people you have

all of the bars all of the bars are your bars can  you leave ours alone to us please the amount of straight women that go into gay bars to feel safe  away from straight men is quite astounding there's quite a lot of them who do that and then we'll get  like upset when they are hit on by queer women and even if that's not you even if you just go to a  gay bar just to feel safer away from straight men now straight men have like caught on to that and  know that straight women go there to escape bei

ng hit on by straight men so now gay boss are overrun  by straight people who just are privileged enough to be able to take up all of the spaces and this  is why I say that you cannot make bars and Club safe spaces they're not safe spaces like they  but they were they were safe spaces they have been safe spaces you can't say you can't do it  you can do whatever you want you can literally change genders you can literally like make money  you can literally kill yourself you can literally do whatev

er you want of course you can make a bar  a safe space bars are literally like there's why that's why I don't even understand this argument  I've been bar hopping my whole 20s every bar has a different vibe expectation of clothes music  Behavior you can absolutely make a bar a safe Space by having an ex in a a safe space is also  creating a predictability to the space so if I go to this sa if I go to the space I can assume  this predictability of action from space that is what it also a safe spa

ce is a safe space is like  creating a Vibe and saying when I go here this is going to be the vibe and I feel safe with this  Vibe if you change the vibe it changes the space that's why the vibe matters okay thank not and  humans don't function on the basis of what is the most politically correct thing to do when you  go out at night you're thinking about how fun of a night you can have you're not thinking about being  politically correct you're not thinking about social justice you're just thin

king about getting  wasted and hopefully hooking up with somebody and that's why so few lesbians go out that's why  I'd rather go to lesbian Branch than go lesbian clubbing please just leave us something all of the  bars all of the clubs they belong to you already why do you need to come in now if this girl who's  talking is told by all the club Owners hey we need to get like more lesbians showing up or we have to  like invite other people in I think that's valid too if you can't make the money

it's fine that's  like a different part of it you know what I mean but I think there's like I don't know something  to this where I think I would go to more bars if I could like predict the space but probably not  to cuz I don't want to go out past 800 p.m. you know what I mean but if there was like a lounge  like I have this dream of creating like a like a coffee shop space where people can come and read  books and drink alcohol but it's not like about getting drunk it's about having conversati

on and  yes the vibe would naturally keep certain people away even on my own channel I try to create a very  specific Vibe I do not make it a safe space for very specific kinds of people to feel comfortable  here on purpose I don't want you here okay like I don't want you here I'm trying to create a safe  space even on my own channel which is a YouTube channel how do I do that reverse psychology  BR language uses I choose certain languages like I even speak a certain way to make sure the  people

I don't want in my audience aren't here cuz I don't want you here okay so when people  are like oh Briny I don't feel comfortable in your space I'm like great it's working get the  [ __ ] out but it's still a public space they can come and go as they want I mean I can block  them too but yeah like there are Vibes I don't want in my space you know what I mean so again I  don't think there's anything wrong with creating a Vibe for space the question is how do you do it  you know what I mean how d

o you do it and how do you do it without being cruel or unnecessarily  mean or you know what I mean take our stuff off of us you have all of them and if you feel unsafe  there and it's like not enjoyable I'm really sorry like that sucks but that doesn't really give you  the right to come into our safe spaces and make our safe spaces feel unsafe and again this is an  obstruction from reality all the bond don't belong to straight people the few bars that are there  for queer people don't belong to

queer people these bars and clubs belong to the owners of  These Bars and cl weird take weird take Weir take weird take how much bar hopping has Z  done is that is that a UK thing again the weird take maybe it's an American thing maybe we're  being too American about this cuz like bars also belong to football like Vibes like if you go  to Milwaukee and you do bar hopping like it's a beer beer football Vibe like Midwest Vibes it's  very specifically different than other cafes or other bars or ot

her like organ like again like  maybe this is a bubble thing culturally yeah maybe we're like maybe this is a weird weird  K says kid is starting to lose the plot by going into the business argument yeah the business  argument is weird cuz like businesses create with an clientele in mind and the clientele builds the  business huh interesting hubs they're businesses they're not social justice entities I just really  don't understand but that's not true right like a lot of gay bars just start off

that way isn't she  also autistic seems very literal she is not to her knowledge autistic so and how like you as a woman  have come into like this safe yeah Josephine says people literally move to different cities to  enjoy specific bars literally true literally true woman's space and felt the need to invite a  man into it when you are already the like in I'm sorry in Seattle like Bars were so specifically  designed for very specific Vibe it was really cool actually I learned so much about bar c

ulture there  but maybe that's just Seattle maybe that's just America Maybe that's just the Midwest you know  guest in the space so forgive me if a straight woman doesn't like going to straight bars because  her friends may be all Queer for instance they may all be lesbians and so she goes with them to  a queer bar if straight wom go to queer bars because they just prefer the music or they prefer  the drinks I would say that based on my experience um hold on mantis you said I think she's trying

to  get people to detach from Identity and entitlement you can't detach from Identity when the bar is  lesbian or the bar is gay or the bar is um uh nou or the bar is like fancy or the bar is specific  like the bar thrives on pushing the identity as The Branding therefore asking the the patrons to  remove their identity from a place that is called like queer friendly is very strange because  that's what distinguishes it from a regular bar which is default straight or neutral so to  ask the patro

ns to take away the they wouldn't go to your bar then the only reason they're at  your bar is because it's gay why else would we go to that bar you know what I mean otherwise we  just go to any old bar and it's probably not the gay bar people purposely pick out the gay bars for  the identity relationship because it's going to be a safer space for you to be gay and you know the P  the the owner is going to defend your status there so it feels kind of weird to encourage people  not to focus on the

ir identities at a lesbian bar of cuing recently I found that the queer bars  have far more interesting and vivacious drinks and options and a far more interesting clientele  as well as a far more interesting and welcoming staff and bar staff so I can understand why so  many stray people go there especially when all of these queer bars advertise themselves  as being open and welcoming to everybody including straight people who are included  in that umbrella of everybody said yeah and to be fair

and when it's straight people get  there you know if there's not if there's not too many of them they're not going to totally  ruin the vibe but it might put put people on edge guys because they have an expectation when  they go into places straight woman shouldn't go there because she feels safer there because  she enjoys it more because she likes the drinks or the Ambiance because her friends are  there because well tough luck for you you're straight that's your sexuality your sexual  orientat

ion which you can't choose but now you're being discriminated against because  of that this regrettably makes no sense whatsoever yeah profiling is O again you're I hate  these arguments now what I found most telling and most interesting about this was the response video  made by the woman who approached this straight man at the bar now based on how the queer Josephine  said I mean straight bars lowkey don't want gay people there especially if the place uh the places  where romantic and sexual i

nteraction is the goal for sure bro like literally for sure you know and  just depends that's the thing is like every space wants the right clientele for the if you have  a football bar like you guys ever been to like a a sports bar sports bars have a Vibe they don't  want they want it it's a Vibe it's very specific clientele a very specific Vibe sports bars are  very specific right and like they don't they're again it's fine it's just like I don't understand  why we're pretending like Vibes don

't change the clientele slash the people who are there slash  the people feeling comfortable being there you know what I mean if Sports Bars were then  stereotyped to being a gay thing straight men would stop going to them who were homophobic  of course okay let's see the original video kiwi responded and based on how Tik Tok responded  I assumed that the straight man was probably doing something UNT such as trying to rise up  or flirt with queer woman who had rejected his advances and he just w

asn't getting the message  or he wasn't taking no for an answer or he was just being a right nuisance No in fact absolutely  none of this so let's take a look at what happened according to the woman who called him out for  being them what are you doing here to be honest I was a little taken aback because as a straight  woman so that video is actually about me I'm that lesbian so I just wanted to provide some context  on what happened uh from my perspective so I at cubby hle been going to this ba

r for 8 years since  I moved to New York actually met my wife there um I was waiting in the bathroom line minding my own  business and there was a dude standing in front of the bathroom um I tapped him on his shoulder I  was like excuse me you know you're kind of in the way whatever I was not trying to start conflict  anything like that he turns around he seemed a little bit grumpy I love how according to her he  seemed a little grumpy he may have been grumpy sure but what does does that even me

an did he  like just look at you funny because you tapped him on the shoulder I think well was he waiting  in line for the bathroom or was he waiting for somebody else she obviously came in slightly like  you know saying like he like he was in the way I'm not sure that she could assume that so maybe she  came in hostile anybody who gets tapped on the shoulder by a stranger and is told that they're  in the way or that they've done something wrong when they just standing there is going to probably

  look at you a bit funny or is just going to give you a look obviously cuz you know you're trying to  get their attention by touching them so what does seem a little grumpy mean I'm not getting any  information from that but what I am getting is that when he looked at you you decided to go in  and say are you even here with anybody he turns around he seemed a little bit grumpy so I was like  okay dude uh are you even here with anyone like what are you doing in this bar you in the words of  sort

of modern lingo about this micro aggressively responded to him looking at you because you tried  to grab his attention and your microaggression came in the form of questioning why he was there  that is whether he was there with somebody based on how he looked which according to you I guess  he didn't look queer enough I guess he didn't look flamboyant enough why we acting like that's  not a thing straight people look straight gay people look gay it's a thing there's actually data  coming out to

say that even our bone structure is different so he didn't look gay enough he just  looked too vanilla and so that justifies you asking him about his business which has nothing  to do with you and this is another thing that I find very very telling and very annoying and he  points to his friend a girl who seems pretty queer to me uh not the girl who made that other video  and she's like he's with me I I'm like okay cool again this SE a girl who seems pretty CIT to  me what yeah like I don't kno

w what kidology is doing right now but like people I obviously  I love doing this I love literally pointing out that people look gay or straight or autistic I'm  like you autistic cuz people look differently I'm telling you I pattern recognization is my favorite  thing and I see the patterns in people they look interesting okay there's a difference in that it's  a difference and I'm so excited for science to show us but like they're already doing studies on  this what does that even mean all of

this is based on Prof Tim Dylan does not act gay but he is have  you seen Tim Dylan I watched Tim Dylan that is the queerest man I have ever seen that is the gayest  man I've ever seen in my life smiling of people on their physical appearance you know nothing  about somebody based on how they look this is exactly the thing that actual minorities have been  trying to fight against or to speak out against no dude like no dude no dude gay people we know we  all look no dude no no she's Miss oh she'

s like okay because they get profiled based on how they  look based on how they no they get profiled on who they [ __ ] bro like bro no that is not that is  not the issue with being profiled you know um K says this is so normal we all have assumptions in  asking a question to clear verifies is a literal process of uh learning you think something and  you test to verify yeah she did come in hot at the bathroom uh inter exchange so okay let's give  her that at least Kayla says not going to lie I a

lways thought most of gay guys looked gay like  in the face not all but I always thought that I could tell it's a thing bisexual also looks  like a thing no I'm telling you like guys in neurotypical and nerd Divergent they look like I  can not always I'm not always correct but I watch people and I'm like gay neurod diverent autistic  ADHD and then I wait to see if I'm right that's why I like to test myself because I am right over  90% of the time and that's why my ego's so big because I'm [ __ ]

I guessed it [ __ ] I knew it  [ __ ] I'm not always right sometimes I [ __ ] up sometimes I misremember but like people look away  people look okay because they are discriminated against on that basis and you are doing the exact  same thing but you can't see that because you're cosplaying your minority status which means  you don't have to engage with reality or the meaningful ramifications of your actions because  well this is all just exteriors to you clearly I turn around um continue to wai

t in line really  had to pee and um then this guy comes to me and he goes well if I wasn't here with someone would that  be a problem okay so now he's hostile so she was hostile he decided to be hostile so now they're  fighting right Big D says can you identify Jews as well not always lots of people think I'm  Jewish so no all people stereotype people you can't always know if someone's Jewish because you  might be a Syrian but nice try but yes people look like things people look like a stereotyp

e guys  that's why they exist I don't know why you're all playing games with me right now okay Natalie says  do you think it's a good thing to do that though I don't think it's necessarily harmful I don't  think humans being human is necessarily harmful I don't think it's necessarily harmful okay cuz I  don't want to hurt you if I find it out if you're like oh my gosh this this person looks Jewish are  you Jewish well are you going to hurt me if I say yes if you're not and you're like no I'm Jew

ish  too I would love to hang out with you okay cool great or like hey what are you doing here it's  like this is an opportunity for us to bond but obviously it could also be an opportunity for us  to fight and then that's what's scary is like why are you looking at me like I'm Different you know  um like don't act like social con constructs are real literally don't act like they're not real bro  starvo says by your logic Brit we should all stick to our own Bubbles and never venture out of them 

stereotype of about others without connecting with them nobody has born a Metalhead or a football  fan or anything I think you're misunderstanding me that's not what I'm saying but I would argue  most people don't leave their bubbles and most people do act like that obviously most people  don't care about other people so yeah I just don't think you're hearing me that's not what  I'm saying but most people aren't going to do that anyways it's very historically improbable  for you to leave 200 mi

le radius of where you were born only recently did people really venture  out yes most most people live and die in the place they're born that is what's typical it is very  abnormal to pop your bubbles it is very abnormal to even care what other people are doing on the  other side of the planet it is very that's why there's a disconnect here in this conversation  because they're already aggressive with each other so now he's picking a fight so now he's an  [ __ ] because he's not being courteous

to her he's not being the bigger person he's going down  to her level so now they're going to fight and I say absolutely like yes it would be a problem this  guy guy the girl in that video so she said yes it would be a problem if you were here alone which  by the way she's allowed to have that opinion just like people who think men shouldn't go to  Disneyland alone which I think is kind of [ __ ] do you know there's a group of people that think  men should not go to Disneyland alone but it's pe

rfectly okay for women to go to Disneyland  alone why do you think that stereotype exists guys hands in the class why do you think women  and men don't want men going to Disneyland alone hm what stereotype do you think that they are  thinking about a single man going to Disneyland alone creepy single woman going to Disneyland  alone less creepy H which stereotype do you think they're concerned about which thing comes into  their head when they think about that H which stereotype and is it correc

t I don't think it's  correct I think single guys could go to Disneyland and have a fun time but hm where do you think that  stereotype comes from do you think it's statistics where do you think that's from okay so yes she's  staying in opinion she has a problem okay yeah says a man or a group of men no a man a single  man okay a single man at Disneyland weird or not weird Okay a single man at a lesbian bar weird or  not weird that's what he asked he goes if I was here alone would that be a prob

lem so a single  man alone at a lesbian bar weird or not weird some other girls they all jump at me and they're  like what like why would you say that that's so messed up blah CU it's weird it's like why would  you go alone to a lesbian bar are you jerking off to girls like making out like what are you doing  here blah blah these people start coming at me and I'm just in the bathroom I'm there celebrating a  friend's birthday I want literally nothing to do with straight people which is why I'm i

n cubby  hole in the first place again I like to mention the safe space rules and regulations of cubby hole  on their website for everybody to see because he was being discriminated against because of how  he looked and you know I'm just like hey okay this is a queer bar we don't have a lot of spaces  I've been coming to this bar for a long time it's a special place for me it's also a safe place  for me and I have seen a lot of CIS straight guys come into this bar and cause problems like  it's a

known thing it happens at cubby hole it happens at Henrietta it happens at Stonewall  there are straight dudes that come into These Bars specifically cuz they're trying to pick  up girls and this is so interesting this is the point that I wanted to get back to this okay  so she has a fear and she's worried and she got a little defensive and protective I think that's  a fair perspective it's interesting that nobody gives a [ __ ] about that right like I feel like I  would get that right away lik

e oh yeah that makes sense like I get it you know so again okay I don't  think it's that weird to be like are you a single dude at a lesbian bar maybe it's an appropriate  to you socially but you know we're very autistic here so we don't really care what's appropriate  socially assumption that people place onto other people because of how they look and that is when  you just stereotype people because they look a certain way and so you assume preemptively without  any evidence without any justifi

cation beyond your stereotype that they are going to behave in a  certain way and but he did he picked a fight with her too he did he did act in the stereotypical  straight guy way he picked a fight with her that was the problem she was worried he was going to  pick like like he was going to be an issue in the space he wasn't an issue until she got a little  hostile with him so he got other hostile with him and then she got ganked up on like you know  what I'm saying nobody wanted to understand

each other in that moment but she did back off after  he explained herself so [ __ ] all of you she created the first initial moment then she backed  off then he got aggressive then she got basically like piled on like it escalated because of a group  of people she de-escalated after she got upset she de-escalated so then they escalated which is  exactly what her worry was in the first place but also she went in a little Hut that happens  too going to do a certain thing this is why in the UK bla

ck men get profiled by the police on  the street when don't bring up racism kid it's a different example excuse me this is a different  example no this is no this is I refuse I can't this is not the same example yes stereotyping can  be bad but also you have a lived experience your intuition tells you something you know you feel  way about people I don't want people to stereotype in order to cause people pain I think it's okay  if you stereotype in order to protect yourself though so if you're g

oing to protect yourself and  be like I don't know about this space I don't feel good here leave even if everyone there is innocent  to you leave right I don't care if you stereotype to protect yourself I care if you stereotyp type  to hurt other people okay she didn't hurt him she asked him a question slightly hostile I agree with  you okay and then she backed off right totally [ __ ] different than stereotyping black men and  arresting them or thinking they're bad that's you harming them don't

let your stereotypes hurt  other people but if you're using it to protect yourself then protect yourself but not at the  expense of somebody innocent you know nothing about okay totally different they're just walking  and doing their business because of stereotypes and preemptively judging people based on how they  look this kind of response would have made sense to me if this we also okay I judge that my gamer  husband would be a good husband to me because he was a gamer boy I stereotyped game

r boys as being  good husbands to queer people cuz they're often if they understand queerness pretty great Partners  to queer people you can stereotype for good too I love a gamer boy why cuz that stereotype of the  right kind of gamer boy tends to be very good allies and they tend to be discriminated against  in their own way as men because they don't often fit The Stereotype of a men a man so they often  are more of an ally to women and that's why I stereotype gamer boys as like if they're nic

e  gamer boys really good boyfriends if they're mean gamer boys they're horrible boyfriend  they're heavily misogynistic if it's a mean gamer boy misogynistic if it's a nice gamer boy  great partner especially to a bisexual pansexual girl right you know mantis says I think there's  an element of hypocrisy here being focused on do you think that Britney I'm not sure I think I  think she's trying to make a pretty good argument but the Dilemma is like there's not a clearness  of the why she's being

a little too simple the why is much more complex we stereotype for good  and bad reasons stereotype for good reasons not for bad reasons and like that's the difference is  like the lesbian was concerned for a good reason that a single man was in the space right just  like a woman would be reasonable to stereotype that a single man is at a park full of kids I  think that's a reasonable stereotype but also you can't assume he's a threat because you don't  know him so go up to him talk to him be l

ike hey how are you do you have a kid here what are you  what's going on you know and then find out why he's there don't assume he's there for malicious  reasons but maybe go up to him and say hey like what are you like do you have kids you know CU  you're trying to protect your kids she's trying to protect her space okay so again like yeah  don't discriminate because of your stereotype but also protect yourself because the stereotype  is called a pattern of recognization like we recognize a pat

tern and we have a stereotype for  that pattern which certain people will fit into categorically but not all people because people  aren't a monolith guy had been standing at the bar trying to chat up lesbians who were rebuffing his  advances and saying no we are not interested this response would have been perfectly adequate in my  opinion but this man was just standing waiting to go to the bathroom or waiting for his friend who'd  gone to the bathroom he wasn't doing anything he wasn't talking

to anybody he wasn't disrupting  anybody you purposely disrupt well it sounded like he was probably standing in the doorway and  she wasn't sure if like he was waiting for the bathroom and it sounded like he wasn't waiting  for the bathroom but for someone in the bathroom which means he was in the way of the bathroom  and she wasn't sure if he was in line for the bathroom which by the way lots of gay and lesbian  and queer spaces I've been to have gender neutral bathrooms so there's also thatte

d as j z like to  say Your Peace by making his business which was none of your business your business and this is  something that I've seen at speed dating events when CIS lesbians decide to make the business of  transbians doing nothing except trying to just have a good time and meet new people and make  friends and maybe get a match with somebody their business they make it their business when  it needn't be their business why are you going to worry about that 30% of transpan who you're  not e

ven interested in in the first place when you could be enjoying the company enjoying the  fun time because people have trauma dude they have [ __ ] expectations of behavior and when  they don't get it look how many people are like un don't like the way you say autist I don't like  the way people say this I don't like the way you say this I don't like the way you say acoustic  I don't like the way you say this we all have reasons we're not going to get along figure it out  figure out if you're go

ing to get along with these people or not and it might not be your space dude  not all Gamers get along not all D and players get along not all black people get along we're not  all going to get along okay so we have to figure out am I in an environment where I'm going to get  along with these people or not and then be chill bro be chill 70% of sis lesbians who are there  and this is an example of picking your battles something which cosplaying minorities just do  not understand actual minoritie

s pick their battles transbians who are in my opinion actual  minorities pick their battles they go to these events they know that they are minority they know  that it's a hard place for them to navigate and be in that there's just a lot of things and a lot  of hurdles but having spoken to a lot of transpan at these speed dating events it's very clear  that they enjoy going to them they know that they may have some negative encounters they know  that they are probably not going to get matches or

the matches that they hoped for but they go and  they meet new people and make new friends and have interesting conversations with people and I found  the most annoying thing at these events is when there is one lesbian because sometimes there's  always at one lesbian who decides to ruin her entire night by fixating on the 30% of transbians  who are are there who are having a good time and who she needn't engage with if she doesn't like  them or doesn't want them to be there and can have a grea

t night with the 70% of CIS lesbians  who are there who she may be interested in it's a matter in my opinion of picking your battles  and this is an example of really not picking your battle well there are straight dudes that come  into These Bars specifically cuz they're trying to pick up girls so I wasn't trying to instigate  anything I was just trying like hey safety check you know yeah and again I complete and I I like  a safety check personally so I'm less offended by it personally understa

nd this and I do see  this it is very annoying it is annoying like you know there are guys who do that but this one  guy wasn't giving any indication that he was doing that you profiled him you assumed based on how he  looked and the stereotypes associated with how he looks and this is he was also a single dude like  near the bathroom right or like near a space like why is he there I don't know I don't know I'm  not really that upset about her approaching him in the first place I probably would

have done it  nicer but often when you're dealing with men who often then get offended or violent it's like you  go up tough because you think like they're going to come off tough so I don't know the thing again  just because a handful of men act in a disgusting it's more than a handful girl don't play with me  grading horrible entitled way doesn't mean that all men do in the same way that there's this  assumption that white heteronormative men are running the world the reality is that there's 

a small group of men irrespective of race or ethnicity who are running the world or are running  particular sectors and institutions of the world and have a grip on Power and that the rest of  mankind and womankind and humankind are pretty much subservient to them we have so much more in  common with each other with each other's struggles with each other's qualms than we like to yes and  I still want Vibes to be Vibes I still would love i' love that's why I Bobble hop I don't want to  live there

full-time cuz I like different Vibes but that's why I like Vibes sometimes I want to  go to a space face and not see a kind of vibe I do like Vibes and you can't ask for Universal Vibes  in every space you go into that's why people live in different countries that's why people go to  different cultural like bubbles cuz we're looking for a Vibe not all gay clubs need to be the same  but they often aren't you know what I mean so like having a gay bar or a gay space with a certain  Vibe you know w

hat I mean it's just a Vibe K says I think as a man that a man standing near  the b in front of the bathroom alone and lesbian bar seems like a fair reason to ask a question she  was lacking Grace however but Z isn't arguing that yeah like if we were arguing about her decorum  then yeah she came in hostile but obviously it's like she gave her reasoning which I'm like okay I  can get that but also like you know don't go in as hostile next time you know but people go hostile  guys they just do it

naturally they people get worried like oh my God are you a predator it's  not great it sucks to be the target of it but also like okay like calm them down don't act like  the predator they're assuming you are you know but you know what I mean admit because of I would say  a lot of the rhetoric that comes from these people cosplaying their minority status which just makes  them feel good which makes them feel like they are doing something meaningful in the world that they  are battling against th

e evil cetron normative men who are taking over and destroying society  and why are you doing starvo says that's like you always assume they would not have manners  that is stereotyping why don't you assume he's going to be a gentleman because they aren't what  do you mean why would I assume anything assume a fight it's a bar but also you know go in soft so  you give them a chance not to like automatically get defensive CU humans are snowflakes bro humans  are so [ __ ] sensitive I would why wou

ld I assume a man is going to be a gentleman at a bar that's  not a stereotype I know of I've never heard of a gentleman at a bar you know what I've heard of  a bar hound dogs bro non-consensual hound dogs bro what stereotype of a man going in a bar is a  gentleman what bubble is that everything good but the more that I engage with these progressives  and the more that they talk about progress the more I realize that their notion of progress has  absolutely nothing to do with the definition of p

rogress wow that was a lot of progress in one  sentence it's simply about having a different group of people on top namely their group and  their group is engaged in the exact same type of discrimination the exact same type of profiling  it's not the same exact type that's why the Nuance is lacking in this video it is not the same kind  it is literally quite literally a completely different kind it's really lacking the Nuance  for me it literally is not the same why this is why I love my work be

cause figuring out that  people are not doing the same thing for the same reasons is what made me pop all the bubbles in  the first place we are not doing things for the same why and because of that if you don't think  too deeply about it it could look the same this is why like people don't understand why there's  like black spaces because white people in America can't imagine black people gathering without them  being racist against white people because white people can't seem to gather without

being racist  against black people but there are ways in which you can gather without it being a racist thing  and because you can't imagine that it's because you're only thinking about what you would do but  what about other people they're not doing things for the same reasons they're not there sometimes  it's just for the safety of the space like I said parents to approach single men who hang out at  parks yes they're stereotyping you because there's a scary consequence to if the stereotype i

s going  to fit that model today you could be kidnapping a kid bro so again it's not the same reason of like  a man stereotyping a woman is being less than him like the man isn't less than the man could be  a predator like again stereotyping doesn't work universally you can stereotype in a good way hey  I'm assuming you're a nice person cuz you're gay well that's probably wrong don't assume gay people  are nice but also hey I'm going to stereotype that you'll probably understand my struggle beca

use  you're a black woman and I'm a black woman or hey I'm assuming that's a stereotype bro and like  good or bad that is an assumption of behavior and predictability in people and we have good  relationships and bad relationships with that assumption the exact same kind of segregationist  and exclusionary thinking and rhetoric the exact same type of stereotyping as the group who they  are allegedly fighting against I wasn't trying to in anything I was just trying to like hey  safety check you k

now safety check is just a euphemism for profiling just not the same  not the same thing safety checks are real you should do them in your communities and  you should be thoughtful about them they are not the same thing you should be considerate of  people entering your communities and who could be coming in as a threat okay absolutely not the  same that's just so you know it's the exact same kind of rhetoric in cases in the UK where police  have profiled young black men they say that it's for s

afety you know this kind of safety check  yes but internally it's not cuz they haven't dismantled their issues with racism assuming black  men are specifically worse than white man is like a stereotype that's either learned or taught  okay in the lesbians experience she said it's a learned behavior because of past experience so  there's validity to her saying I have a learned experience with male people in this particular  Bar C cusing problems for people okay it's like look there's a difference

there between and like  maybe the cop has a lived experience of dealing with people who are criminals who happen to be  black and therefore he's created a stereotype in his head that black men are more dangerous than  whatever else that could be valid from a learned experience but then you realize your learned  experience isn't necessarily Universal but it's still ingrained in your like fear and Instinct  right so then you have to question that right right again people don't do things all for t

he  same reason so it's like why are you doing that oh I noticed you stabbed that person why did you  do that you can't just assume cuz like where's the Nuance bro like where's the actual don't you want  the real answer or do you just want the answer that sounds good cuz if you just want the answer  that sounds good sure let's all stereotype each other but like it's not about that and again  there's so much Nuance to the word stereotype bro um yeah I just get heated but that's pretty much  it I'

m Katie and I'm that lesbian and sorry but actually not sorry so she didn't even really  confront him she didn't really confront him I heard somebody I mean she didn't she literally  didn't it was just like confronting would be like like in my mind totally different like oh you're  being a little confrontational what's up with that bro man says I don't see the difference other than  you seeing it as a good purpose or perceived bad purpose well that changes everything though it's  not even good o

r bad it's intentional it's like to protect or to harm it's like saying it's like  look everything we do has a reason again someone can say I love you and mean it to break you down  and like ruin your self-esteem or they can say I love you and it's like something positive you  know what I mean okay are we all mixing up what profiling and stereotyping could mean like  again assuming okay what do you what do you assume of me because I'm wearing a Sailor Moon  shirt okay class let's go what do you

assume of me because I'm wearing a Sailor Moon shirt what  would be a pretty reasonable assumption because I'm wearing a Sailor Moon shirt can anyone tell  me Discord says my partner just went to a kid's birthday without me and he said he wanted to be a  participant more bday kid is his goddaughter but didn't want parents to see a random dude with  no kids playing with the kids I get that okay Natalie says that you like anime that's a pretty  good assumption that's pretty good could it mean anyt

hing else is there something else that could  mean nerd thank you y specifically Sailor Moon okay SB says acoustic makes sense watch anime weeb  gay that you have class love that weeb grow up in the '90s ooh that's a good one that you like anime  gay autistic wee love that wanted to be a princess as a kid very interesting nerd okay Discord says  you own a Sailor Moon shirt at least stole or at least stole one okay at uh let's see bad taste  in anime kidding of course love that okay nerd nerd ner

d I usually assume the adults wearing  anime shirts are nerd Divergent o good assumption Stephanie says that the root of profiling and  stereotyping I would argue is safety Okay zoo says that you're a hunter hunter fan first  of all [ __ ] love Hunter Hunter a romance made in heaven Millennial that I'm a millennial  okay it's a guest not a stereotype same thing to me a stereotype is assuming something about  you based off how you look that's what we're talking about in this conversation right in

this  conversation we're making an assumption based off observation to associate an assumption around a  type so serotype is a widely held but fixed and oversimplified image or idea of a particular  type of person or thing you are making a huge assumption about me based off of how I present  and you can do that off my skin color people will often say oh you're white and they'll assume  because I have white skin that means I have European descent that's not a bad stereotype  or assumption but it

's incorrect my family's actually from Iraq and I'm Middle Eastern and  I'm a Syrian which is kind of a cool fact for a lot of people they're like oh I assumed you had  white skin so you were white okay you stereotyped me which is fine and you assumed my behavior was  because I was a white woman which is also fine because like that's a pretty understandable  observation of me but there's much more to the story okay we make assumptions based off  of a lot of information and we go on hostile or ki

nd based off of those stereotypes and  assumptions right don't judge a book by its cover is really really nice when you're talking  to a whole group of well-intended people but not so great when you're teaching your kids how  to look out for Predators right so profiling in a very literal sense I think would be like  um negative negatively targeting somebody and alienating them for an assumed reason that ends up  incorrect um or more more likely incorrect right so again we have been fighting ster

eotypes because  we've decided there's something bad but I think a stereotype is a construct created from nature  nurture and it's it's a combination of survival and just like moving towards people you think will  be safe right B says profiling the actor process of extrapolating information about a person based  on known traits and tendencies I think everybody does that right but if you use it for a negative  like you know what I mean then that's probably again you want to be accurate in what yo

u're  observing so I would ask you to do the you know the next part of it you know actually say why do  I think this about this person you know what I mean mantis says so what so that's what she did  is that not in a not super aggressive way yeah she saw a man at a bar thought he was alone was  concerned about the safety of the space approached him aggressively enough that said hey like what  are you doing here then he said oh I'm here with a friend she go oh okay then she backed off then  he sa

id wait why isn't that what if I was here alone is that a problem she goes yeah I think  that would be a problem yeah why wouldn't that be like I sure that's her opinion she's allowed  to think it would be a problem you're allowed to disagree I would probably agree with her more  that I would be suspicious of a single man at a lesbian bar alone right Cosmic says should we  keep our assumptions to ourselves well if you're conflict avoidant probably if you're not in charge  of protecting people pr

obably right so again um like my dad and brothers uh at their churches  do Patrol they like Patrol and like because sometimes um like homeless people or people will  come into the church and like attack people or try to run at people um there's been a lot of  problems in Southern California and around so they watch for people and yeah they're going to  stereotype the homeless person as possibly one of those people that might attack somebody because  it's happened at the church before not to say

all homeless people they usually give handouts they  give food to them they help them you know all of those things but they're also on edge and ready  for that person to attack now obviously it's a church so they're going to move with kindness  first and thoughtfulness but in a bar setting you might be a little bit more hostile okay it's  also the same like the same Assumption of behavior it happens like if you the reason I didn't go to  straight clubs I went once to a straight bar club and well

I've been to a lot of straight bars I've  been to one specific gay club no straight club and I didn't like the men touching me right I didn't  like the men touching me so I decided not to go back there because I didn't mind the gay guys  touching me it felt less threatening than the straight guys touching me but the straight guys  were like well this is a a club I'm here to touch you and I said okay if that's the Assumption of  the culture then I would rather not be there and if I would rather

not be there that's fine it's  not made for me I'm a queer woman why am I at a straight club anyways even though I like men  I'm not a straight woman and straight clubs feel like straight spaces and I don't vibe in straight  spaces very well I feel very weird there so I left because I'm the anomaly right I don't feel like an  this is safe for me in the difference would be at a lesbian bar a single man showing up by himself  again could have gone to another bar could have gone to another place co

uld have done another  thing decided to go into a woman's Focus space even though it's inclusive and be single there  well that would raise a little bit of a red flag just a little bit in anyone's mind I think that  would raise a red flag right but again it's not proof that he's there with ill intention so he was  there with friends that makes a lot of sense but I think that question of would it be a red flag  if I was here alone yeah I think so and the same way that I think it would be a red fl

ag if I saw  a single dude on a playground without kids there it'd be like hey what are you doing here buddy  and maybe IID approach with some softness maybe ID approach with some kindness but again like  humans are going to human no one's perfect but yeah I think that circumstance is different and  it would warrant some sort of Suspicion he use the word dulu land people living in dulu land I would  say that this this applies quite perfectly to that this is delusion because of this there were a

few  people who called her out like why did you assume he was a CIS man like how did you know he was a  CIS straight man in the first place and I think that like that's a slightly like unreasonable  question to ask that's a slightly unreasonable question to ask I'm so sorry but the bias in this  is just so insufferable to listen to there is no consistency in this argumentation because imagine  if this white CIS heteronormative guy had just had one of his identity groups changed imagine if he  wa

s a black guy oh my gosh IM imagine like imagine if he was the most stereotypically straight  looking black guy do you Hannah says I wonder who kology is trying to appeal to in this video yeah  like again if one of those things were changed it would have been a different circumstance and if he  was queer he would have been like hey girl what's up girl I'm safe that's the problem that's why  it's an issue that's a straight guy cuz he took it offensively if it was another queer person they  would

have been like oh hey girl we're good safety check that's what I'm saying like kidology  thinks she's like [ __ ] blowing a bubble right now or popping a bubble but girl that's why  that's the issue is that it was a straight guy who took it offensively if he wasn't straight  if he was nonbinary if he was trans he would have literally understood why the safety check  was happening that's why it's kind of shocking when other queer people don't get the safety  check cuz it's like what's happening d

o you not know why we have the safety check you  know what I mean that's that's why I think the difference is there I have a feeling that  if it was not a straight guy or it was some sort of identity shift they would have been  chilling cuz that's how I feel when people assume bad of me and I know it's like a safety  check I just go no girl I'm one of you we're good you're just it's a signal we're signaling  right um oh my God y says bro I had a man grab my hair and pull my head back and lick my

face  from chin to forehead that was pretty much my straight club limit bro I told my sister people be  touching my hair and she didn't believe me and I said guys grab me in my hair people touch my hair  all the time and she goes there's no [ __ ] way we went to a club together for a friend's 80s party  birthday and a guy came up to me grabbed me by the under part of my hair whipped my head back  and was like I really like your hair and I was like okay let go of my [ __ ] hair he was like 65  f

at as [ __ ] came charging over shook the [ __ ] Flor and my sister was frozen she had no idea  what to do she was just like and like in front of a group of so many adults and nobody thought  it was weird and I was like I'm used to this this is how people treat me when I'm in public  this is how men have treated me and I told her it would happen I was like 10 Buck says she goes  there's no way this is going to H and it happened because that's literally my lived experience and I  just it always [

 __ ] happens and I'm like I don't know what goes through their [ __ ] heads there's  something in their stupid human brain that goes I can do this and I'm like here we are and my sister  was shocked again you can keep doubting me and my judgment of people but my judgment my prediction  so on point so [ __ ] on point you know could it be because kid is a baby queer no she's been queer  for a long she's been known she's queer for a long time what I think is the issue um and I find this  to be my

issue as well sometimes is like look I I think kids maybe I do this as well where like if  I'm in a group of people and someone's like black people can't be racist I was like what do you  mean by that do you mean like individual black people can't discriminate against people for  having different skin color and like I want to be combative if I'm sitting in a group and they're  like um black people are lazy I'm like what do you mean by lazy do you mean white people the most  people on welfare are

n't like I tend to argue with people if I think their argument is bad or  like dumb then I'm like what do you think that or if they're like all Muslims are terrorists I was  like really do you want to talk about colonization and then if they're like oh like um uh all white  people are are this I'm like oh really what do you think like my brain is so argumentative that  I will like I'm it's not even my fight it's not even my fight I don't even believe it I just know  it's not true nothing is true

universally so when people are like oh do you know gay people and I'm  like do you know this like I'm just like my brain wants to fight you so part of me wonders if Z is  seeing this pattern so she wants to cuz I've made content like this where you want to call it out  but then you realize ultimately like everyone's living a real true authentic experience everyone  is living a true authentic lived experience that is based off of like their understandings of  the world and their education level

and their knowledge of just like fact whatever that means  right so everything could be true for somebody you know what I mean like I'm always like is  that true and then if you ask me like what do I actually believe about anything I think humans  are human we're all the same and everybody's like too hung up on the constructs but also like  everything's fine because it's a construct but like everything's a construct you know it's  like I don't know like my personal opinion is everybody's got to

chill more bro like everybody  stop hating each other but like also we don't all have to get along but also like everything is  a construct like who cares but that's not good people don't like that they want me to take  a side but I can't because I know everyone's wrong I just know everyone's wrong and everyone's  right everybody is wrong and everybody is right you just can't have it two ways you can't say this  guy deserves to feel feel safe in this space but this girl doesn't cuz that's what y

ou're saying if  you think this man should be able to feel safe at a lesbian bar then why can't the lesbian also want  to feel safe at the lesbian bar why does he get to feel safe at a lesbian bar but she can't want to  feel safe at the lesbian bar everyone's right and everyone's wrong again I don't know if people know  that's what they're saying but that's what you're saying like everyone just wants to feel safe  and also everyone just wants to hate who they hate you know on hesty think that Ka

tie would have  approached him now unlike the queer kiwi here I'm not going to engage in this bad faith argument  but I would bet quite a bit of money that this would have been a very different conversation  that Katie had with the man if he had been black very different you don't have to move King we're  kinda forever I'll just this is a sickness on the ground like your ancestors had to I understand  that trans men are allowed in like now at the rate that black men in America or homophobic  now

he would have been a bigger threat than the white guy the white guy is less likely to be  homophobic than the black guy at the lesbian bar but also black guys wouldn't be at a lesbian bar  because they're more homophobic than white guys stereotypically so actually the black guy being  at the queer bar he is more likely to be queer ah [ __ ] yeah I that's so true though I just [ __ ]  that's so true though I'm so smart lesian spaces and like que women spaces because you know they  also suffer fr

om a lot of gender discrimination and might not feel safe in other spaces that's  interesting as well that is so interesting how would you know that this man wasn't a trans  man a transpan she didn't know but he would have corrected her and then they would have been  besties who just hadn't transitioned yet how do you know this and this is one of the issues  with making places inclusive I think because inclusivity without any boundaries without any  repercussions without any consensual conversat

ion with the patronage of a place with the community  creates issues like this yes it creates issues like this where it just becomes very clear that  human beings are not as inclusive as we like to no we're not inclusive and I don't think we  should be I think we should stop killing each other and stop creating rumors about each other  and stop putting each other in prison but I don't think we need to be inclusive I think we need  to stop pretending that we're all going to get along we're not al

l going to get along okay but  like we need to stop killing each other and stop doing all the bad stuff tend to be and cosplaying  minorities are the demographic of people who like to pretend that they are 100% inclusive but then  they're not but they're not they're like okay everybody does that though okay have you never  heard the religious religious people literally go go God loves everybody God welcomes everybody  God wants everybody he doesn't want you he only wants you if you wear the unif

orm and you speak  correctly everybody thinks they're inclusive everybody thinks they're inclusive they can't  possibly be because that's just impossible for human beings but at the same time but I understand  I've also I'm just arguing with Z cuz I argue with everybody but like ultimately I've made this  convers I've made this argument too because yeah progressives super not inclusive but also  I get it like I get why you're not I don't think you should be I think you should stop pretending  yo

u are but also that's still the right language to say I'm inclusive I say I'm inclusive in this  space all the time but that's not true I'm LGBT inclusive you can't have a conversation with them  about it because they don't want to engage with it and they don't need to engage with it they  don't need to engage with the realities of the consequences of being fully inclusive because  well conveniently you can just blame everything on white men and end of as you should down with  the white man but

I still think that asking a man that you see in that space like why are you  here is completely valid and I think that trans men who understand why women may feel afraid and  uncomfortable with a man there would understand that I agree with her that is my lived experience  that is true that I feel like that is definitely my lived experience and be sympathetic to that  and not respond with aggression I agree so I feel like just responding with aggression kind  of solidifies the fact that this is

a CES hat man so yeah I agree with that though that  still could be wrong I do agree with that but I do think the anomaly could happen I do  think queer people he could still be queer but I I do think that that that is probably yeah I  feel like just responding with agression kind of solidifies the fact that this is a s man like  the entitlement the arrogance and the aggression in that response really solidifies that this is  not his space but he feels like he deserves to be in it I love how a m

an asking a question about  why he was questioned for being somewhere is instantly deemed aggressive by virtue of him being  a man isn't that interesting but that's not what happened okay either they were both aggressive or  neither of them were aggressive you can't say she was aggressive and then his RoR to her isn't  regress aggressive she started off aggressive which I agree but then he literally said why would  that be a problem and then she said yeah actually it would like that is an aggres

sive they had  an aggressive confrontation at a bar isn't that so stereotypical how is he entitled arrogant and  aggressive for asking a question asking a question when he was approached by somebody and questioned  about why he was there he has every right to ask a question why can't people ask questions this  is how we find out things this is how we find out information about things and situations  just like the straight woman who made her Tik Tok was asking a genuine question whether this  was

a problem because apparently according to Katie this was a problem our males are straight  male is not allowed to go to a lesbian bar I'm genuinely curious like I they can go if they want  but why are you there bro why you there said this was my first time going to a legit lesbian  bar she's asking a question like of course she's looking for validation of course she's  not just asking a question but she is trying to find out maybe things have changed maybe the  rules of the game have changed bu

t I think that we are demonizing people for asking questions  which is why people don't ask questions anymore which is why people just assume things or just  answer questions for themselves which leads to everybody having a completely different narrative  and understanding of the world like we're not communicating or engaging with each other meaning  yeah but like I don't know if Z's displaying much engagement with it either right here right like  I understand what she's saying but I feel like s

he's using this as an example to make a bigger  point but the two points aren't connected you know what I mean like like people are allowed  to have confrontations in in like at the bars like it happens sometimes it's not a big deal  you got to read into it too much but like also the straight person went on the internet to  complain about it so just like heads up the gay person didn't even make a video complaining  that a gay man or a straight man was at her bar but the straight people went on t

he internet to  complain that they had this confrontation so the gay person felt a need to reply to it and say  why I did it which is really within reason and maybe you didn't like the way she approached him  but like they were both aggressive and they both just had a it's just called a confrontation oh  my God guys be adults It's just sometimes you're going to have a confrontation okay cool we think  differently cool who has more right to a lesbian bar a straight guy or a lesbian I'd say probab

ly  the lesbian it's in the title but also okay like if lesbian bars The Stereotype for lesbian bars  that it's full of straight men cool one Le less thing for the lesbians I guess like what F and  when people ask questions and you treat them like this this is why people don't ask questions  and this is why didn't just ask a question bro and also she just asked a question why can't she  just ask a question Z Why Can't This lesbian just asked a question what what's wrong with her  she just asked

a question what was wrong with it again Z's making the same argument she's making  against the people in the video which I feel is just very human of us you want him to be able to  ask a question well the lesbian wanted to ask a question so who was allowed to ask the question  and was anyone allowed to ask the question so much support is being lost for the basic tenants  of lgbtq plus rights and people I'm also maybe a little stressed over the video that's com virial  on my page right now becaus

e I didn't mean any o will by it and the lesing of Tik Tok are coming  for me and I'm sorry for that I really just had a genuine question I didn't know I was going  to get yelled at you did not have a genuine question because you literally came in that's  not a genuine question a genuine question is like hey guys I feel really [ __ ] [ __ ] up I  went to this bar and now I can't decide was like was I out of line cuz now I feel kind of like  awful about it I didn't mean to offend anybody it wasn'

t that it was like I went to a bar with  my friend and like what can like can straight people not go to bars anymore like you know what  I mean like I feel like she went for validation and I feel like C's giving her that validation  but like nobody really cares about the lesbians perspective cuz you're just whittling her down  to like oh she's like a racist cop who eats black people what this is not not even remotely the  same thing this is not the same thing it's not the same thing bombarded sc

reamed at there's  lots of mean things going on in those comments so I have learned my lesson and I will never  be returning to a lesbian bar ever again great love that for a good reason I am sure that if  you approached a trans man and asked that they would respond in a much gentler way either you  know saying that they are trans because they're in a space where it is like safe to say that or  they could be in their trauma and feeling really Al alienated because they don't fit into the  queer c

ommunity and they could end up responding with defensiveness too Anything could happen  or by just being like hey I'm sorry yeah I'm with those people over there please don't mind  me it's not going to be an aggressive response sure it could be an aggressive response there  is a probability of that happening and I think it would still come from insecurity defensiveness  is the defensiveness the problem ultimately yes yes okay but everything like okay you know what  I mean or that if you asked a

trans man that he would respond in a more gentler way have you seen  the battles online and in the real world see my lived experience is that they would answer in  a nicer way because I know I've been that queer person who's been questioned or that like white  passing woman who's been questioned and people are like why are you here and I'm like that's  a great question I get that on the internet all the time and sometimes I like to [ __ ] with  people and be like but most of the time people are

just trying to say hey are you safe they're just  asking are you safe I get it though it's easy to get defensive between trans people and gender  critical feminists have you seen how vitriolic and horrible different bubbles different people  people are in a monolith they are to each other like can you imagine one of the trans activists  being asked at a lesbian only bar lesbian only bar that is fully inclusive of people so who knows  can you imagine them being asked by ktie why they are there an

d responding in a non-aggressive way  yeah that's my lived experience that's my personal lived experience but again it's not a monolith  so someone could react differently and hostile yes it's different everywhere everyone's different  this is what you call essentialist argumentation this idea that particular people have essential  characteristics they do based off of culture and expectation but it's not always it could be it  probably is going to be just like probability wise cuz according to t

he queer kiwi sis  heteronormative white men are essentially aggressive when they ask a question they often  are and they often are literally like the key components in violence or straight men in general  so I don't know why we're pretending otherwise and my lived experience actually supports that  so again I try not to stereotype you know I'm a little mandress sometimes I have a really bad  I just have bad interactions with lots of men not all men lots of men are great but men are  incredibly

defensive people I mean humans are defensive in general but like yeah the idea that  men aren't like very stereotypically defensive I don't even know what we're talking about  especially at a bar with alcohol involved like what are we talking about they are essentially  bad just for asking a question whereas a trans person who gets asked a question is essentially  a good person so they will essentially answer without aggression and in a far more civil  and kindly way there is no evidence for thi

s whatsoever and that's the basis of essentialism  there's no reasonable basis for anything it's like people who essentially think that black  people are either criminals or black people are essentially good and saintly depending on what  side of the political Spectrum on the extreme political Spectrum you are essentialism okay  staros says men people aren't a monolith but men are a monolith to you at least to the  specific lesbian no men aren't a monolith that's why she asked she literally aske

d what are  you doing here so she didn't treat him if she if she really didn't want to ask him first she just  would have been like you need to get out of this bar then he would have been like what if she  treated him the way other people are treated when they're in when they're negatively look how  she didn't even do the thing guys in truly like racist or truly like sexist spaces she wouldn't  even even asked him what he was doing here she would have gone up to him and said you need to  leave b

ut she didn't do that she said hey what are you doing here she checked because she was  trying to check herself because she isn't just gonna assume he's a bad person that's why she  asked and then when he corrected her she backed off then a moment later he decided he was going  to get defensive about it so obviously she wasn't treating him she was checking she was doing  a safety check that's great that's what you should do maybe she could have been nicer about  it but like she she literally bac

ked off once he explained what he was doing there so she's like  okay my bad like she got it wrong maybe she wasn't as nice but like then he moved the aggression  level more and then his friends joined him and now she is being dog piled by multiple people  getting defensive over a safety question is terrible it's awful it is the absolute base level  of any kind of argumentation or notion of how the world works and how people are essentialism  is laziness at it's finest and that's why as I said t

his is a perfect example of cosplaying  minority status because you don't need to engage with reality and you don't face the consequences  of the reality which you are fabricating in your mind and I also imagine that a lot of trans men  would feel like quite you know elated almost that they pass well enough to be mistaken for a  s man in a lesbian bar you know what I mean like they're not going to respond with aggression  and I think that really answers the question and think that that makes it

unfair that people  are being like well how did you know why did you assume like she didn't she just asked a man why  he was there and he responded aggressively so and that's the thing she didn't just ask why he was  there she was purposefully and pointedly asking him because she was annoyed with him and had  profiled him this is why we need to talk to each other because you can't just lump together groups  of people and make essentialist claims about them their behavior and their characteristic

s because  then when you actually go into reality and this white man is actually a decent fellow and is nice  and friendly what are you going to do your entire world view is just this is why you need to treat  people like individuals this is why you need to treat every individual that you encounter in the  world like an individual because if you don't you assume things about whole groups of people that  are just not true and this is why we don't get anywhere this is sort of a privilege take  rig

ht she doesn't mean it though I know Z's smart enough she doesn't mean this obviously  we stereotype if we notice like gang tattoos on people I'm not just going to act stupid you  know when I was in Miami Abba warned me I was in Miami doing a very nerd Divergent thing  that I always do I make very strong direct eye contact with people especially men because I  was told that um women don't make enough direct eye contact with men so I was like and Abba was  like Britney stop trying to fight all th

ese men and I was like I'm not trying to fight these men  bro I'm trying to stand my dominance he goes I know you're going to make me try to fight these  men I don't want to fight these men for you and I was like what and he said when you're in Miami  you're making direct eye contact with all these men you're going to put them on edge they're  going to think you're like inviting them over and I was like oh [ __ ] my bad my bad because I  was treating them as individuals instead of as a collectiv

e cultural group that was in Miami my  bad and a lot of them were Brown men and I was like my bad I don't know the rules in Miami okay  Tom furer in the chat let's go so my friend Abba had my back and told me hey stop making direct  eye contact with all these Bros dude and I was like my bad bro so again yes in an Ideal World  we treat everybody as an individual and I agree with that when you're on to one but when you're  interacting with strangers you might be a little on edge or if you're inter

acting with people  you might be a little hesitant look all people have valid perspectives for every like everyone's  going to have like every man I know has a story of like man I really felt like I couldn't even be  myself in this space cuz I'm a man and I feel like people thought bad of me automatically and for  every guy I know who's like that that same guy will talk about how gross men are how perverted  men are how awful men are don't let men around your kids don't leave like why are is a m

an  alone like everyone knows that as individuals we get our feelings hurt but then all of us are  about to stereotype if it comes to protecting kids all you all are happy to discriminate  against men the moment it comes to protecting kids so I don't know what we're playing at and  our current cultural arguments and our current cultural Wars because everybody is in these  identitarian groups that make assumptions about everybody else that have essentious claims and  characteristics attributed to

particular groups and we don't get anywhere we really don't because  that is not how people actually are everybody's different and the sooner we realize that the  closer we get to realizing the alleged Progressive good all inclusive yes but kid okay so kids  argument we're not all the same yes so they're not all the same that's what I mean we all want  everyone to change for us so badly I don't like the way you talk I don't like the way you are hey  I'm not like you okay so get the [ __ ] out w

hy are we socializing together bro like oh I don't  like the way you talk I don't like the way you say that I don't like yes yes yes we all okay I get it  Jesus I understand but every time you ask someone to change for you you're doing the same [ __ ]  thing you don't want them to change for you if you don't want the lesbian going up to the man at the  bar and the lesbian doesn't want the man at the bar it's the same [ __ ] thing at the end of the  day okay we're asking who gets to be in this sp

ace well okay now we have to ask how do we create  a space where we don't get into these arguments well then we have to ask do we create an echo  chamber of people that are the same yeah sometimes that's all of how the world Works diversity is so  unique diversity is chaos diversity is literally like everyone just crashing up against each other  because the moment you deviate from the thought it's like what that's why I don't hang out in  the bubbles full time that's why I don't want to be a par

t of your clicks because if you're  part of a click you have to look dress act the same or you're signaling some sort of threat to  the group it's why it's so [ __ ] annoying and again if you're going to visit the group you have  to signal that you're not a threat to the group that's all the lesbian was asking can you signal  you're not a threat to the group and kid is like why are you assuming you're a threat to the group  because you're going to assume these like trans people on the internet a

re also a threat to the  group because they're hostile because that's the stereotype right you are stereotyping angry trans  people on the internet as hostile because the stereotype is correct there are some blue-haired  fat lesbians with nose rings who happen to be trans who are absolutely going to be hostile  because that's the category they belong into but not all fat lesbians who are non-binary or trans  who have nose rings are hostile trans people some of them are just people they're hi the

y're hippies  they're actually medit they meditate they believe in the towel like they don't even [ __ ] speak  you know and that's what my work does my work says everyone is categor like in a category and  the question is are you the kind of black straight guy that actually hates LGBT people okay you go  here okay with Jesse Peterson Jesse Lee Peterson okay are you the kind of black guy that's kind of  actually okay with LGBT people but you probably wouldn't be like getting a lap Dan from a guy

  anytime soon okay you're like in the Abba group you're like cool okay you're cool you're safe but  like you're not going to like let a guy sit on your lap okay got it that's cool then oh are you  the guy who's like so comfortable with LGBT people that you're like yeah give me a lap dance that's  cool okay then you're in this group and all of them are the same they're all black men but see  how they're different categories okay cool same thing oh you're a lesbian what kind of lesbian  are you a

re you a trans lesbian oop that's its own category are you a white lesbian totally different  category are you a black lesbian love that oh but the White and the black lesbians actually both  agree veganism is the way to go okay so you guys are actually more together because now you're  not deviating on skin color but instead joining on ideology got it okay you guys go together then  it's like okay oh I love anime what kind of anime what kind of anime like what kind of anime you  into I don't lo

ve isekai some people [ __ ] love isekai I just I'm not vibing okay I don't really  watch it I'm GNA be real with you I like Shonen I like reverse Harum I like a lot but I don't  really love Shonen I mean sorry isekai so okay I'm probably not going to join an isekai club for  anime viewers that probably isn't going to what if I joined and I was like can you guys change  and can we watch some more Shonen because like I'm not really into this isekai why the [ __ ]  are you showing up to a isekai l

ike anime club and being like can we show more shonin or reverse  Haram like what are we doing what are you doing okay what are you doing homogeneous world that  allegedly we all want like surely the fact that straight people feel welcome in queer spaces and  queer people increasingly feel welcome in straight spaces is a good thing but according to the logic  of the queer kiwi this is not a good thing queer people can go into lots of straight bars without  acting overly like gay culturally like

loud and rainbows and glitter because it's not the vibe and  the same way religious people could go into Club oh never mind I'm so tired [ __ ] it you guys get  it we should not be celebrating this we should not be happy that a straight man feels that he's able  to be friends with a lesbian and a straight woman because cuz God forbid in this world apparently  men and women can't actually be friends I mean I mean some bubbles they aren't in some bubbles you  men and women can't be friends yes in

some bubbles men and women can't be friends in other bubbles  they can be it's not a universal experience like in some bubbles men and women should not be  friends it's not a Vibe okay AAS says Abba and his feet thing don't look at his feet that's  gay Honestly though ABA been a little sussy lately I'm going to tease him about it when we I want  to tease him about it when we talk he's been so funny oh my god I've been like cry laughing to  Abba lately where he's like he's just saying the gayest

[ __ ] bro and it's so funny he's very  comfortable Abba I see him getting more and more like I like it I love the their content's  been been good wouldn't we be celebrating this that there are queer women who like a straight  man and have invited them into their space into their group and that they're having a good time  together yes that's beautiful bro but what about the other people do they get a space too that's  beautiful I love that bro I agree with Z this is beautiful now is it also okay

that gay women want  to go to gay clubs and not see men there who are straight is that also okay I think it's okay a  point for celebration isn't this what both are a point of Celebration inclusivity and acceptance  is about but no apparently this is a terrible thing regardless of whether a s hit man it can be  a terrible thing is invited in by a queer friend or not doesn't really matter I don't think he  should be there and I that's an okay opinion to have I think it's different and subjective

to  the bar and the atmosphere especially if there are no people in the bar sure why not I think that  Quia women shouldn't be inviting their sis hat male friends into these spaces this I think that's  fair I kind of I agree that that could be the case where it makes sense I also agree there could  be a space where you could invite your friends is you disrupting your piece for no reason except  because there's just always something to complain about it's not though creating a safe space is  so

specific women only spaces is a real thing men only spaces is a real thing I think they deserve  to have those spaces I do something that actual minorities who actually experience the realities  of being minorities don't complain about because they live in reality as a straight person you can  go see that's the only problem with Z thing real minorities what you say real minorities minorities  except because there's just always something to complain about something that actual minorities  who act

ually experience the realities of being minorities don't complain about you're doing it  right now you're stereotyping minorities for what you think a real minority is why would you do  that why did you just create a subcategory of what you call real minorities who the [ __ ] are  you I love Z so much by the way I'm not I'm just using her oh my God peace and love I'm just using  her to like jump off an idea but like she just did it what is this real minorities what does that  even mean you're no

t a real minority what does that mean that's the same [ __ ] black communities  tell Z all the time see this is why I think Z is just like talking about a specific thing because  like she literally said on my video with her she like doesn't like being stereotyped or ignored by  black communities because they stereotype her as like a Oreo or a seword yeah because they think  you're not a real black woman you just did that to other minorities you just said they're not a  real minority humans are a

ll the same everywhere bro me you and the like we're all the [ __ ] same  cuz they live in reality as a straight yeah well okay person you can go literally anywhere you can  go Bea says I don't think you're understanding her concept of cosplaying minorities no I think  I do understand it I understand it because I used to make these same arguments I used to watch  podcast number one on the britty Simon podcast I literally made these same arguments and like it's  saying like she's not then she's n

ot bringing home the point if that's what she's not you're saying  that's not what she means though then what does she mean mean what does she mean anywhere you can  go to any bar especially as a sis head man you can go to any bar and feel safe and yet and yet you  stood in that line surrounded by queer nonis men right you stood in that line around all those  people and waited to get in and you never once this is like a weird assumption we don't know if  there was a line thought like maybe this

is a bad idea maybe I shouldn't be here maybe these people  behind me deserve to go into this bar more than I do the assumptions anyway I'd love to hear your  thoughts on this especially this idea of people cosplaying their minority status because this is  something that I see everywhere I mean a lesbian is a minority status she can't cosplay it she  is a lesbian or this like girl at the bar is a lesbian and this girl on this YouTube video I  don't know she's queer but like I don't know and it i

s just such a prevalent thing at the moment  it's sort of this almost glamorization of being a minority and complaining about every little  Bea says no she's saying in a minority majority space you're not a minority anymore so you're  cosplaying a minority I could be misunderstanding but that's what she meant but that's not true  she is a minority what do you mean a minority majority she's a white  lesbian she's not a minority anymore she's saying in a minority majority  space kidology girl you

better explain cuz I'm [ __ ] confused love you too Briny I do clarify  my meaning of cosplaying in my video disclaimer in your video disclaimer is that in the chat okay  video disclaimer thank you Z recently there's been a lot of conversation debate around safe spaces  and who's allowed to in them on the basis of profiling people I don't I do want to emphasize  nope oh here we go get ready for Britney's like uh dyslexia here I do want to emphasize as  I say in the video that I am not saying tha

t people who cosplay their minority status aren't  minorities okay good I think there is a there is a recent glamorization of being part of a  particular minority identities and demographics that really isn't true to the lived experience of  most minorities enabling inhabiting sorry those identities and demographics isn't that a b it  depends on the culture it's trendy to be oppressed for some of these minorities but for most it  either isn't trendy or is something they are indifferent to in the

ir day-to-day lives that is  could be true but in this example she is a lesbian at a lesbian bar and there is a man there so I  feel like that's exactly one of the frustrations of being a lesbian right that's like literally the  minority problem but okay I agree that that can be the case I just don't know if this was a good  example of it this has a bizarre this has bizarre ramifications when it comes to how minorities are  perceived by the bubbles which we shouldn't care about unless we're doin

g Politics the only reason  you should care how people perceive you is if they're a threat to you and if they're a threat  to you they're probably a majority right and then you're trying to win their favor so you can  get rights because they've taken them away from you so just keep that in mind right minorities  are perceived and treated lumped together and tokenized not just by everyone else but especially  by cosplaying minorities who increasingly prove themselves incapable of appreciating the

very  things that are allegedly fighting for we're assuming they're all fighting for the same thing  in the same way and appreciation and respect for diversity difference and tolerance and the  humanization of individuals it's disappointing that we're all going down this path who's all  right like we're or not sorry I read all I put in all she didn't say all Z didn't say all it's  disappointing that we're going down this path I don't know if I agree with that and hope that  sooner rather than l

ater we change course thank you so much for watching okay that makes sense  to me and we're almost done with the video but I think like again everyone if everyone is uniquely  diverse and I think like people get to exist in both places you know what I mean and I think look  as I'm looking for a diagnosis of of possible autism or ADHD I guarantee you already that people  are not going to believe me because I'm quot high functioning if I end up getting diagnosed because  like that's just how it wo

rks or my fibro people are like there's no way you have fibro dude you're  so functional like people all the time doubt statuses but it's not up to us as individuals  at least through my content to care about what people think about us it's how you operate in  the bubbles the bubbles are a social construct created by a group of people whoever the group  of people you're interacting with is and we have to act accordingly so it's not about us caring  what other people think about us we shouldn't t

hink about that we should think how do I properly  interact socialize and understand the expectation of behavior in the group that I'm in and if you  would like to change that behavior then you are now the disruptor if you were asking people to  change you are now the disruptor right whether you're my Catholic mother going to Seattle and  asking people to change the way their decorations are because she's uncomfortable or whether you're  a gay person asking a Catholic person to marry you when th

at doesn't make any sense sense like  you are the disruptor and sometimes disruption brings on progress often times most times right  so that's also good but also when we get down to just like this little example I absolutely also  agree that like Street men generally speaking shouldn't be in gay spaces but also there is a  possibility that you might want to do that as well I just personally as a queer person don't  often appreciate it but could also appreciate it if the space calls for it I've

clubbed a lot  with my Straight friends and sometimes it's a Vibe and sometimes it's not in lesbian only spaces I  find it to be less of a Vibe you know what I mean but that's my personal lived experience myself  just myself you know but I also think it's cool that there are lesbian spaces in which men can  hang out in too like I don't care but you know thing and making it everybody's issue and acting  incredibly entitled to things that most minorities just accept that reality just is not a real

ity  of our making we're all essentially playing a game most minorities accept that they're playing  I think everyone is even majorities I think even privileged people Everyone rich people everyone's  playing a game game that they're not in control of but they can make the best out of that game and  they can still enjoy playing the game whereas these cosplayers tend to believe that they are in  charge of the game and if they're not in charge of the game that they should be in charge of the game 

and they make it everybody else's business that I feel like everybody thinks that you know they  should be in charge of the game if that metaphor makes any sense but anyway let me know what you  think I would be fascinated to hear your opinion on this situation maybe I'm misunderstanding  something I'm probably am Z I'm probably misunderstanding you I just feel like the moment  you make a request of someone now you are the requester so like by making this video that's why  I try not to make pre

scriptions and tell people to do things because once you make the decision to  tell people to change you are now the disruptor and so now you're like coming at people for living  their life but it's like if you say I would like to live in a world like this versus like this is  like what I think is happening yeah because like yeah because if I yeah because I think if I had  an ideal lesbian bar Strait men wouldn't be there but why does Britney's ideal lesbian bar get to be  everyone else's why wo

uldn't we just make lesbian bars with all the options but in my ideal lesbian  bar yeah why would men be there but also like I understand why men would be there for some people  mantis says is the issue whether men should be in that space or is the issue how he was profiled and  approached yeah but like again a a single guy at a park in a playground with kids it makes sense to  profile him and to ask hey do you have any kids here what are you doing here in the same way that  I think if I was at

a lesbian bar and there was a single dude there I'd be like why are you there  I just like why so why would he be there can we name some reasons why would a single dude be at  a lesbian bar why would you go to a lesbian bar first and foremost why do you think people go to  lesbian bar bars do you think they treat lesbian bars just like any old bar or is there a specific  energy to lesbian bars are we at the state are we at the part are we in the part of like um cultural  um progression in which

lesbian bars are just like straight bars do you think a a homophobe would  feel comfortable more in a lesbian bar or a straight bar probably a straight bar meaning a  basic bar a bar that isn't focused on being gay so I feel like if there's a difference there'd  be a reason why he might be there because his friends wanted to go well then he's not alone  I said why would a single straight guy be at a bar why would a single guy no friends he doesn't  have friends there it's just one guy he's at th

e bar why would he be at a lesbian bar you know yeah  said it's kind of like a standup comedian going up in a St in a in on stage at a spoken word night  a little bit yeah maybe he likes to eat out to see what it's like okay so he's like going into a  bubble that's not his to observe the people people there and to not be a part of it but to observe  it okay that could be a reason what's another reason like a single dude could be at a lesbian  bar Natalie says trying to pick up by girls I've seen

that happen inappropriate I don't like  that but okay like I've seen that happen Mario says gay bars have the best music lesbians are  different to bother women Monet to make friends interesting why would a man go to a lesbian bar  to make friends what kind of friends is he trying to make you know what would be some of the good  reasons he would go to a lesbian specific bar you know he may be considering a sex change okay maybe  maybe that could be one for sure so like research okay okay to see

girls make out I'm afraid  so which by the way super gross right yep he said if by girls wanted to get picked up by  a man they should go to a standard bar I agree with that Colleen says a single straight man in a  lesbian bar is crazy well is it maybe we're wrong maybe maybe there's a good reason he's there you  know Aurora says I know some guys who don't like to go to man places they don't like the energy  okay wouldn't a standard bar be a non-man place a sports bar would be more of a man pla

ce maybe  but like a standard bar would be a mixture of men and women a dive bar for like B would maybe be  more more men with some girlfriends or wives you know dead says but even if the bar is straight  is it a conservative bar or a liberal bar these things must take be taken into account true is  a Midwest bar or is it like a high luxury bar again in Croatia the party bars are different  they usually have young people than the like regular bars like again I keep going to bars here  and they f

eel like coffee shops that sell alcohol also has a an an older demographic who goes and so  that's kind of I like those vibes but they're very standoffish and they're like we're not meant to  socialize there it's like mind your business and then there's like the party bars which I haven't  gone to obviously so again I think like there's plenty of reasons why a single man might be at a  lesbian bar but I'm not hearing any good ones yet Colleen says but do any of these reasons really  override the

comfort and safety of the women so as a good Community member I would say no and  that's what I'm looking at I don't want to be a part of a community where a straight guy feels  entitled to be at a lesbian bar I don't think that's a good Community member personally in  my opinion but it's okay if you want to live in a bubble where in your community straight men  are entitled to gay bars specifically lesbian bars sorry not a gay lesbian bars I don't want  to live in that Community I think that's

a bad Community member action but that's a bubble and  that's a preference in my opinion I would think that's like off-putting if my boyfriend did that  I would find that so gross like if my husband was like oh yeah I just like love being at lesbian  bars I feel like that's a space for me I'd be like you're being weird why are you doing that  but same with like women who feel entitled to gay bar gay club spaces um a bunch of men have  complained and said hey straight women you need to stop comi

ng to our bars we'd like a space for  men to meet and date and I think that's valid I think it's also valid for gay guys to invite women  in and to have a good time I think both are valid Natalie says back when I thought I was straight a  straight guy I once went into a gay bar for just the free pool T table hey that could be a good  reason to go into a gay bar or whatever free pool table that's cool Robin says in Stockholm  a lot of the bars are just a mix of everything depends on the night or

the day of the week that's  cool that's a Vibe Mario says is it a public place or is it a private members only it's a private  it's a public place so it's a public lesbian bar all genders are welcome um again if you've never  been to a lesbian bar this might sound weird it's like going into to a sports bar with like high  glitter heels and like a tiara and like walking in and being like a disruptor so again if you're a  disruptor to the vibe that's what I'm looking at I would think it was would

be wrong for like a gay  hyper gay like full-on party gear to walk into a sports bar and ruin the vibe there I think that  I'm not into it I I'm not personally into it it gives me like rude feelings where I'm like why are  you ruining the vibe if you go to a high tea place and somebody shows up and they're not like like  guys the opportunity to pop into bubbles is the opportunity to be like them do as the Romans do  okay you know what I mean and that's like that's how I think you should do thing

s personally if  you want to change culture you're the disruptor you can do that but you are the disruptor madx  says which is why I think many gay guys are annoyed with a lot of women because they usually  tend to be disruptors I agree I just feel like it's weird like why are you ruining the vibe it's  like going to a library and somebody comes comes in blasting music it's like what are you doing  like why are you being that guy you know but also like you know if you want to be that kind of  Co

mmunity member fine there is communities where maybe you listen to music in the library I don't  want to be a part of it but you know cuz I love the library it's so quiet but maybe you want to  start a rule where libraries actually play music now cool go do that you have one life go make a  library with loud music anyways okay that's where we're at that's that's that's my contribution  to the conversation I love Z I love kidology I love all of this I think all her opinions are  really really val

id but I don't think they're Universal and I think arguing that they could be  is like not my favorite thing but she's obviously just advocating for her perspective which I think  is really really valid so valid you know what I mean and that's the thing I just want to live in a  world where we can to the best of our ability with no ill intent or malice towards anyone are able  to create spaces where we could all feel safe and Vibe fall my belly's I'm okay I'm just fine all I  you my mind I know

I don't sense but bless so why is my a mess please tell me I'm sick of thinking  yeah of now for the truth and living life as a fo