It's been a while, but the Skitzo team is back in their new show Skitzo News Live!
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Tonight on Channel Six Skitzo News Live: How you should dress for the upcoming week. Once again, the World Cup
takes over television ratings. Is Ed Sheeran really doing
jail time for a failed DUI test? And stick around for a sit down
interview with an ex-member of one of the deadliest gangs in Gangsville. Coming to you tonight on Channel Six. (news theme) Good evening. I'm Ryan Higa and this is
Channel Six Skitzo News Live. We did not realize that by naming
our program Skitzo News Live it w
ould have the abbreviation "SNL", which some of you may know stands
for another television program known as...Super Nova Lochness, a Sci-Fi original. And also, Secret Ninja Lizards
on Nickolodeon. And, of course, the ever-popular
Salmon Never Lies, only on Alaska TV. We also didn't realize that
by naming our station Channel Six that we'd have a 666 on our set,
which some people believe to be a demonic number
also related to the Illuminati. Well, what we say to those people: That's a bunch of I
llumi-Nonsense. And also because we're not
gonna change the entire set because of a bunch of numbers. Like, that's gonna be
a lot of work for nothing. (laugh track) Tonight we have many
exciting stories for you, but first let's go to one of those
angry and confusing four ways split-screen debates about
something probably political. Angry guys? (heated arguments overlap each other) All very good points. Summer is right around the corner! Summer? And once again, it's that time of the year whe
n temperatures start to rise. How should you dress for this upcoming week? Here's Regina with the forecast. Thanks, Ryan! As you can see here, we're gonna
have lots of green all week, showing that summer is finally here. So make sure you drink lots
of water 'cause it looks like it's--we have no other colors,
so it's 100% all green, meaning it's gonna be 100 degreens fear-of-heights
[100° Fahrenheit] all week.
Back to school, Ryan! What? And now let's see what's happening
in the athletic world
. Here's Hanate with sports. (broken English) In sport news,
the World Cup is finally started. First, Brazil beat the Croatia. Then then United...States
said they are gonna win! And then the Spur win the NBA World Cup when all of a sudden Lebron
cramp the leg and fall down from the Heat. But now the question remain on everybody mind: Who take home the World Cup of Feet? Does things start to get messy in Argentina? Does Portugal-down once they Ronaldo-ideas?
[Ronaldo-ideas=run out of ideas] An
d, finally, does Lebron James
still cramp the leg and fall down or no cramp
the leg and no fall down? Nobody know! Looks like we just have to wait and see. Thanks, Hanate. Is famous singer Ed Sheeran
really doing jail time for failing a DUI test? We have actual footage from the scene. Take a look. (police murmur over radio) Late night drive, sir? It's late in the evenin'. You know why I pulled you over? - I don't want to know!
- Sir. You've been doing any drinking tonight? Even if I were drun
k, would I
let you know? Noooo! Sir, I'm gonna need you to step out
of the car and walk this line, please. Nooooo! Sir, step out of the car
and walk this line, please. Walk the line please, sir. Walk! Whoa-hoo-hoo-hoo! Whoa-hoo-hoo! Big fan. Huge fan. That'll do. And now let's go to R-Dizzle with: You Know What Really Pisses Me Off? R-Dizzle? You know what really pisses me off? Japanese television game shows. Why they always gotta have
that little box in the corner with somebody reacting to
the show? I'm not trying to watch
someone reacting to the show! I just want to watch the show! I don't need somebody telling
me how I should react when I watch the show. I know I said the word "show"
way too many times in the same paragraph,
but I'm to, with emphasis, on this Japanese television game show! You know what I mean, though?! Fo' sho'. And, finally, for our main story
of the evening, I have a sit-down interview with a man
once a part of a very violent and dangerous gang, and wha
t life
is like after escaping that horrific group.
Let's take a look. First of all, I just want to say
thank you for doing this. I know it's not easy to speak out
about something so private. (unnaturally deep voice) Of course, of course. Let's start with the basics.
Tell us your name, what you do, where you live. I'd actually prefer not to give that
information out and remain anonymous. Oh no, that's fine.
We'll probably just put it at the bottom of the screen anyway. Wait, no. I don't want
you to-- So, tell me Steven, what has life
been like as an ex-convict? - I'm not an ex-con!
- I'm sorry, ex-murderer. Wait, what? I'm not a murderer either. - Ex-rapist.
- What? No! I've never-- - Ex-pedo.
- What're you talking about?! - Ex-Exorcist?
-W-What?! - X-Men.
- What? So then you are still a part of the gang, then? Um, now I'm literally in hiding right now. I didn't think I'd ever get out of there alive. I don't even know what they'll do
to me if they ever find me-- I'm sorry, can yo
u hold that thought? Hey, can we fix Steven's audio?
His voice is coming in all deep and weird. - No! No! No, please!
- Can we fix that? I don't want--(voice become normal)
my voice to be heard on... Oh god. And who the hell did lighting today?
I can't even see his face! - Turn up the lights!
- No, no, no! Please! If they find out where I am, I'm-- (whimpering) Steven? Steven? Where're you go-- The interview is not-- Steven Johnson!
Steven A. Johnson! The interview is not over! Truly...inspirat
ional. Best of luck to you, Steven A. Johnson of 42 3rd Street, downtown LA,
apartment 6b. So that's all we have for you tonight. From all of us at Channel Six Skitzo News Live, thank you for tuning in
and have a wonderful-- (morse code beeps) Breaking news! This just in. - It seems we--
- (morse code keeps beeping) - It seems that we ha--
- (morse code beeps) - It seems that--
- (morse code beeps, beeps, beeps) Cut it. It seems that Steven Johnson,
the man I just interviewed, is in a live foot
chase
with a bunch of gang members. We're not sure who or why yet, but... Oh no. Oh, I-I'm now being told that the chase is over. Steven has collapsed from dehydration and now the gang is beating him to death. (sighing) That's awful. But I suppose there's a moral to every story. And something you kids can learn from Steven. Summer is hot, so make sure you stay cool, and always be sure to-- drink lots of water or else you're going to-- cramp the leg and fall down! Fo' sho'. So, once again, from
all of us
at Channel Six Skitzo News Live, thank you for watching, be safe, stay hydrated, we're not the Illuminati, goodnight. (news theme song) Hey! Hey, look at my silhouette! It looks kinda like an eyeball. What does that mean? Weird. TEE HEE! (silence) Hey, look! It looks like an eyeball. - (giggling off set)
- Hey, look! With a moving pupil. Now it's an Asian eyeball. Now it's mad! (laughter) See Seattle Seahawks? The bird's eye? Eye of Sauron. Sau-ron? Remember that? Look, he's like... Y
ou see how it's looking around? Japanese Eye of Sauron. (laughter) Aw man, we're probably gonna get killed. don't kill us
Comments
When you watched the last skitzo and can't look at Hanate the same..
Hanate's favorite things to do: 1) curl for Canada 2) STAY HOME COOK RICE
Holy at the Ed Sheeran part...Ryan hitting them high notes...
Am I the only one who forgets that they are all Ryan? Like when I'm watching, their personalities feel so real that I forget Ryan is acting all of it.
"100 degreens fear of heights" I lost it there
If this was news, I would watch it everyday!
All I can hear is will shouting: " THE ECONOMY, OH MY GOD THE ECONOMY " 😂
I lost it when Ryan said "that's a bunch of illumi-nonsense"
1:27 all I hear is Will screaming "OH MY GOD THE ECONOMY"😂😂😂😂
Teacher: Your homework is to watch the news Me: *Watches this
"100 Degreens fear of heights" Makes sense
Height: 4'1 Weight: 369 kg Makes sense
mom walks in mom: what are you doing? me: ... I'm watching the news?
I completely died when Regina did the weather forecast 😂
I hate how Ryan says he can't sing when he can😂😍❤
News is an acronym for "Nation, Events, Weather, Sports"
I died laughing when Steven/Shawn's part came up XDDDD
My Favorite Character Is the one played by ryan
This is where I get my news from.
Is it just me or someone else already recognised it was Sean as Steven when he couldn't be seen and his voice was deep 😉😉